Nebraska Newspapers

    Tiie Omaha Daily Bee.
E. ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
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THE BEE PUBLJ8H1.NQ COMPANY.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, as:
George B. Tsscbuck, secretary of The Bee
Publishing Company, being duly sworn,
says that the actual number of full and
complete copies of The Daily Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during
iam monm oi ucioter, ijt, wag as ioiiows:
l 2X,NOO
17 WJ
2.,
Sttt.OttO
SW.Tttrt
87,4410
2M.710
Xe,HOO
irtMMM
3M.710
2ft,00
IIN.MK)
1M.G50
3,4o5
IS 8A.10O
19 anjixo
20 8O.370
.,
7
f
.
11)
11
12
21
22
2S.... '...-.
24
26
26...
27
28
....2n
...SO,7IK)
.. BM.T1PI
...220
...2W.OOO
...11,171)
...Sl.lO.t
...SI.HK
13 1M,S40
14 H,XK)
15..,.. ZHJltltt
It SW.JHVO
29 ao,41)
10 eO.KBO
31 a,.Ssn
Total
i .932.620
Leas unsold and returned copies.... to, OS
Net total sales.
Net average sales 2:,7&3
GEORGE B. TZ3CHUCK.
Subscribed in my nresence unri anrn tn
efore me this 4th day of October. A. D..
M. B. H UNGATE.
rNW for the president's special mes-
ge to congress,
The blble-in-the-schools issue seems to
Lave been quickly dispelled from the
local pulpit Another case of too much
religion in politics. '
Speculation on the favorite for the
cardinal's hat, when a new American
4'ardlnalate shall be created, may con
tinue for a little while longer.
Omaha has always been pnrtlnl to
Methodists and with the permission of
the weather man will be pleased to
xtend hospitality to the visiting bishops.
We fear that transforming tho city
salary list into Judgments will not im
prove the city's credit. It Is too bad a
better scheme to tide over Vt rattened
finances should aof have been devised.
Omaha wants the grain market and
accompanying cereal and flouring mills,
march factories, ete and It wnnts them
I'fldly enough to go after them In
earnest, Now la the time to hammer
while the iron is hot-
Our amiable popocratic contemporary
has suddenly taken to ridiculing and
disparaging the Oumhn police depart-
ment, and that, too. Just when one of
Its own favorite polite captain Is in
charge as acting chief. Ingratitude.
Prophet Dowie gives up the redemp
tion of New York as n bad Job, but
promises to try again in two ygars with
a host of 10,000-followers. In the In
terval the wickedness of Chicago will
be enough to demand all of his atten
tion, - J' .
It has been a long trine now sluce we
Jaeartl any riutte river power canul talk.
A resurrection of the project, however,
may be expected at any inomeut when
the newa may be sprung thnt it has
been successfully finance, for the
'ateenth time.
As a tall to the democratic dog the
people's independent party has certainly
been a travesty on Independence. The
strange part about.it is thnt some of
the so-called independent: lenders pre
tend to be only, now discovering . how
little independence they have had.
People Interested In slilctrucklug Jouu
Mitchell from hU position of leadership
with organized labor are busy finding
tine places in the political or Industrial
field to which to promote him. It must
Ix; remembered, however, that to' carry
out these various ben?llccut objects re
. quires Mr. Mitchell's conspnt.
It Is right plain now from a iktuhaI
of its edltorlul page that the sporting
editor of the World Herald was not-in
on the gate receipts 4!f the recent fake
boxing tourney which it holds v.p as
such a horrible " example, or. (-Kt his
influence is sadly waning. Thnt papt-r
I ulsta on defending Its exclusive; right
ta do all the faking iu Ouml.u.
That whitewashing report of the
plumbing steal at the county hospital
i :.iy satisfy the memlters of tho county
board Mho are in the ring, but it will
not satisfy the taxpayers who pay the
bills. A good plumlier is sadly needed
t tear out the political plpo lines that
ire being operated In the county court
l.'iuso to tap the county treasury.
The dignity of a "surgical operation"
J conferred uowaduys ou a grent many
commonplace exploits which formerly
went by some other name or were not
c i en thought sufficiently Important to
have a special namr at nil. It now
takes a surgical operation to remove au
Ingrowing finger nail or cut off a trouble
Fume eyelash. That is the explanation
v hy surgery has becouie au exact
sclcnca.
tl(
th ticb nttswtncr.
The Washlnjrton correspondent of the
Brooklyn Kagle saye there are signs
thnt tlie republican leaders have picked
Myron T. llerrick. govarnor-elect of
Ohio, to be President Roosevelt's run
ning mate next year. The correspond
ent quote a western man, paid to be
on Intimate terms with Mr. Hanna. as
expressing the opinion thnt the Ohio
senator, who Is known to be an Inti
mate friend of Mr. Herrlek and to hnve
brought about his .noniiiiutlon and elec
tion, will urw the nomination of that
Kentlemnn for the vice presidency and
he thinks thnt In thnt event Mr. Her
rlek will hnve an exceedingly good
chnnce of being the nominee.
Undoubtedly If Senntor Ilnnna desires
thnt Mr. Herrlek shall ,be the candidate
for vice president he will he able to
exert a very strong Influence In hi be
hulf In the republican national conven
tion and the attestation of Herrkk's
popularity In Ohio Is certainly very
much In his favor. There Is no doubt
as to his sterling republicanism and he
has been very successful as a business
man, without having any connection, so
far as known, with any trust or other
combination. But it might fairly be ob
jected to Ohio's governor-elect that be
ing comparatively new to politics and
consequently not baring given any
marked service to his party, he is
hardly entitled to so distinguished a
position as that of vice president of the
United States, There are precedents,
unquestionably, that would justify his
nomination, but the present - feelinff
among republicans generally is thnt the
candidate for vice president next year
should be a man very well known to
the country and who has performed
such service to the party as to give him
a strong claim to so high an honor ns
the vice presidential nomination. It
enn hardly be said In behnlf of Mr. Her-
rick that he answers this requirement.
He was almost unknown politically be
fore he became the republican candidate
for governor of Ohio and his services to
the party had been entirely local.
There is another Important considera
tion which should have weight with the
national convention. This is the selec
tion of a vice presidential candidate
from the west, in which Ohio is not
properly Included. That state is no
longer western, as the geographical di
visions are now designated, but is In
the central group of commonwealths
and its Interests are Identified more
with the eastern than the western
states. As the candidate for president
next year will be from east of the
Alleghenles his running mate should be
a representative of the great region
west of the Mississippi. Every consid
eration of fairness and of sound polit
ical policy dictates this. The grent west
contributes enormously to the wealth
and prosperity of the nation. Its peo
ple are enterprising, progressive and
patriotic. Among ft citizens are men
capable of filling the highest office in
the gift of the" American people. This
section is entitled to the candidate for
vice president and every western dele
gate to the republican national conven
tion of 1!)04 should Insist upon the selec
tion of n candidate from the west for
that position.
COLOMBIA'S PtlOTlST.
The fact that the government of
Colombia has made a protest against
the action of the United States In giv
ing recognition to the provisional gov
ernment in Panama Is what was to
hnve beeni expected. But it is not a
matter of very serious importance and
for the obvious reason thnt Colombia
had actually abandoned the isthmus to
the insurrectionists and left them in
complete control of the . sltuutlon, so
that, as has already been pointed out,
our government had either to relinquish
its treaty obligations la the isthmus,
width requires that transit shall be
kept open and free, and also that it
shall protect the commercial Interests
of otiier nations, or enter into relations
with the provisional government.
It ought to Ik evident to auyoue who
gives the matter intelligent considera
tion tuat the United States could not
have taken a different course from what
it has without to all Intents and pur
poses surrendering the authority and
the duty prescribed in the. treaty of
lMt! with New Grenada now Colombia
and thus placed ltFplf absolutely at
the mercy of the Colombian government.
Suppose our government had declined to
take any notleo-of the action of the
people of Panama and had allowed the
Colombian troops" to take possession of
the Panama railroad for the Invasion of
the Isthmus. Is It not perfectly ap
parent that the effect of this would have
Ihh'U to close the railroad line. to regular
tnuHc mil thus 'defeat the . requirement
of the treaty between the United States
nml Colombia? If Colombia , was con
ceded the rl.;ht to use the railroad' for
military purposes the same privilege
would have to be conceded 1o the revolu
tionists, Thus tho obligation of this
country to maintain free and unimpeded
comniere-.. across the isthmus of Panama
would In effect have been abandoned
and the United States would In effect
have surrendered Its authority and Its
rljrhts under the treaty of JS4.
That It was the plain and Imperative
duty of our government to maintain Its
authority over the. Isthmus, as clearly
prescribed by the treaty, seenis to u to
l unquestionable. A good denl of stress
Is being laid upon the assumption that
the rev h.tlon in Panama was prompted
by Americans and that our government
was not unaware of what was takln?
place. There is not the least evidence
In support of this. It is pure conjecture.
But if all that is said in this regutxl 1
n fact It Is none the lesa the duty of the
United States to require that In the in
terest of the world's commerce neither
the government of Colombia nor tjie peo
ple of Panama shall be permitt- d to In
terfere with or obstruct the free transit
of the Isthmus.
So far as the protest of Colombia Is
concerned it jvill undoubtedly receive
ran omaiia daily heei tuerdat, November 10, 1903.
respectful attention, but It la hardly pos
sible that there will be any change from
the position which our government has
taken and which it will undoubtedly be
able to Justify before the world.
DKMOCKACr'a'HUPE.
Nebraska has gone republican now for
four successive years and that Nebraska
Is under Donna I conditions ana in a re
publican state Is reluctantly recognized
by the opposition spokesman. Nebraska
was lost to republicanism by a comblna
tlon of corruption and calamity and
democracy's hope for' reinstatement
rests on the restoration of the old con
ditions.
Sonic of the democratic leaders are
content to bury tlieir secret hopes in
their own breasts, but not so with Edgar
Howard, the doughty quill-driver of the
Columbus Telegram, who speaks right
out In meeting without mincing words.
"Nebraska will remain a republican
state," declares Judge Howard, "ns long
ns crop prices remain fair. After awhile
Nebraska farmers will have to sell corn
for less money than they get for it now.
Hog prices will be lower. Interest rates
will be higher. The farmer does not
pay much attention to the way the rail
roads are robbing htm now. He Is get
ting fair prices for his grain and live
stock, land values are still soaring and
he Is still doing fairly well, even after
paying such enormous tribute to the rail
roads. All this will change after a little
while. The farm cannot always stand
the drain of tribute now being levied.
Then the shoe will be on the' other
foot, and then it will be tight, and then
it will pinch, and the farmer, like the
prodigal son, will 'come to himself.' "
This is, indeed, a hopeful prospect.
When calamity stalks through the
state and crop failure stagnates Industry
democracy will claim its reward as a i
true prophet.
When farmers have to mortgage their
lands, sell their live stock for anything
it will bring, pay whatever Interest the
money lender may demand, then the
star of democracy in Nebraska will be
bright.
When the railroads shall have all gone
Into the hnnds of receivers ' and the
wheels of the mills and factories censed
to hum. when the wage-worker Is again
reduced to enforced idleness, then de
mocracy in Nebraska will feel at home
and look for an endorsement for the
consummation of its wishes.
Instead of directing its efforts toward
Improving conditions and maintaining
the plentiful prosperity now at hand, tho
democratic program will be to produce
calamity, by which it expects to prosper.
Democracy's hope in . Nebraska is
surely inviting. The picture drawn bv
Judge Howard deserves to be framed
and hung before every democratic con
vention. With such inspiration the
democratic party in this state cannot
fail to attract all the slothful who hone
to fatten on other people's misfortunes.
The champions of the ; Denver con
ference pronunclamento declnred that If
the' Nebraska populists in state conven
tion did not endorse their program the
populist ticket; in this state would be
foredoomed to defeat. The conven
tion refused to take this advice and
the predicted defeat ensued. It does not
follow, however, that had the work of
the Denver conference been ratified
fusion victory would have been
achieved. It will be In order now to
hold another populist conference to take
an inventory of the remnants.'
ft should be noted thut In the recent
election Judge Donne, the veteran demo
cratic war horse, polled nearly 2,500
votes as candidate for Judge of the dis
trict court, and that, too, with his own
party organ opposed to him. . It Is safe
to say , that nine-tenths of these votes
came from democrats who do not take
the democratic editor's advice.
In the session of congress just preced
ing the presidential election the opposi
tion minority usually finds Itself de
voting its time and talents exclusively
to a manufacture of politicul cupital
against the administration by magnify
ing and distorting the official record.
The present session promises to be no
exception to the rule.
Insurance agents always tell us that
the taxes Imposed on their concerns are
pakl by the policy holders.' The ques
tion Is, then, If the Insurance people are
successful in their effort to tnock out
the Insurance clause of the uew revenue
law. wIM they have the kindness to re
duce the rates exacted of those who
buy the risks?
Colonel Bryan's daughter Is said to
have been spurred up to the task of
tvrltlng a lKok which she projwses to
inflict tiiM)ti the public. It Is to be
feared her book will produce neither
the story nor the royalty which dis-tln-,'u!hod
. her father's ' First Battle"
as a siuwKsful literary venture. i
Discrimination iu Graft.
Chicago Itcord-Herald.
Nevertheless and notwithstanding It is
entirely sr.fe to prodlct that, no Ship
building trust millionaires will go to keep
Sam Parks company In the penitentiary.
What's la a Namef
Minneapolis Journal.
The name of the judge who decided ad
versely to Mr. Bryan's claim to a share
In the Bennett estate Is Cleveland, whlc-h
probably does not make the judgment any
mure acceptable.
Playlns Iu Urril Lack.
Baltimore American.
I In regard to the Panama rebellion and
the establishment of the little republic's
independence, either th United States
played In great luck or somebody's fine
Italian hand was pretty busy la the matter.
Dk.ort-l.lvrd Wrath.
' Boston Transcript. ,
One highly interesting fact lurks behind
the half-million mass of figures in the re
turns from Pennsylvania. The republican
candidate for treasurer got 513, 7G2 . voles,
the republican candidate for auditor got
0.441. The difference means that the lat
ter caudidate voted fur the press-aiuzsle
bill In the legislature. Thirteea thousand
votes out of half a million represents the
amount of feeling the aggregate protest
of Pennsylvania against a measure which
the entire press denounced to the last limit
of excited Invective. Supine Pennsylvania!
What Ohio's .Veratrt Mesas.
Chicago Chronicle (dem.).
The verdict passed upon Tom Johnson
was a democratic verdict so far as Its
spectacular features go, and It covers the
raw of WC'.lam 3. Pryan as effectually as
It docs thnt of the man whom he had se
lected for his political heir.
Sot Mnrat to Bra Abnat,
Philadelphia Record (dem.).
That McClellan carried New York City
is a very Insignificant reason for mention
ing his name In connection with the next
presidential election. If he had carried New
York state it would have meant something.
but any democrat ought to be capable of
carrying the city.
Manifest Destiny.
Philadelphia Press.
Canada Is a trine piqued at us just now,
It is true, but events are forcing home
upon It the truth that Its manifest destiny,
by which Its happiness and prosperity also
are meant, Is to become a part of this big
country, toward which successes seem so
naturally to gravitate.
WHY HANNA IS CHESTY.
JotaBsonlsm a ad Brranlsm Barled
Deep la Ohio.
Philadelphia Press.
The most pronounced and telling result
of Tuesday's elections was the sweeping
republican victory in Ohio.' It breaks the
record In that somewhat emotional state.
Mr. Ilanna has the largest majority ever
given for a senator in Ohio,-and Mr. Her
rick the largest majority ever given for
governor, except possibly for John Brough
against the odious Vallandlgham In war
times.
It is largely the personal triumph of Mr.
Hanna, and It makes him more of a power
than ever. He was the direct and Imme
diate Issue in Ohio. His antagonists aimed
their .whole attack at him. Tom Johnson,
though nominally a candidate for gov
ernor, openly Said that he was making no
fight on the governorship, but exerting all
his strength to defeat Mr. Hanna. The re
publican leader was assailed In every way
and from every standpoint. Mr. Hanna, on
his part, accepted the personal Issue and
met It In the boldest fashion without flinch
ing at any point. He went all over the
state and smote his adversaries hip and
thigh. His direct, pungent, meaty speeches,
which struck straight from the shoulder,
aroused enthusiastic support and carried
the people everywhere. The people like a
positive, earnest, up-and-down leader, and
they had such a leader in Mr. Hanna.
As a result, Mr. Hanna returns to the
senate armed with new strength and influ
ence. Senator Frye, who Is among the
keenest-' and most experienced of observ
ers, expressed the, opinion some weeks ago
that Mr. Hanna Is the most useful and
powerful man In public life. That opinion
will be confirmed and emphasised now. The
Ohio battle was his battle. It Is the great
est triumph of the year. He stands with
the potential state behind' him, and backed
by broad sentiment to which It gave the
most emphatic expression. The spirit of
McKinleylsm asserted- Itself and it Is a
force to be reckoned with.
HOW L1TTAI Kit SAVES HIMSELF.
Close Call of m Coavressmaa Inter
ested In (ioreruneat Contracts.
Harper Weekly.
Congressman IJttfla-r will not bt prose
cuted by the War. department under the
statute . which prohlbys members of con
Kress from making, or sharing in, contracts
with the goverhmprfV The secretary of
war having asked the attorney general
whether the government should take action
on one of the glove contracts In which Mr.
IJttauer seemed to be implicated, theat
tomry general has replied, that because the
statute orders prosecution for money "ad
vanced." and the contract in question has
been fully executed, the goods delivered
and all payments flnlBlied, the government
may not hope to sue, successfully for money
paid on It. That Is to say. It Is too late
to take action. So as to prosecuting Mr.
Llttauer for mlpdemeancr In violating the
statute and collecting a fine of J3.00 from
him, the attorney general says It is too late
for that also, "since the statutory period
of limitation within which such a prosecu
tion would be brought elapsed more than
a year ago. 7 his decision relieves Mr.
Llttauer of the danger of government
proMecutlon, but leaves untouched the ques
tion whether or not he violated the law.
It may be said for him that so far as has
appeared the government has lost nothing
by the contracts with which he was sus
pected of being concerned. The gloves
mado In his factory were good, so far aa
appears, and the price not excessive. But
Mr. Llttauer can hardly exult In the posi
tion In which the attorney general leaves
him. In an open air sermon that the presi
dent preached in Washington on Sunday,
October 5, he called earnestly for honesty
"not only the honesty that keeps Its
skirts technically clear, but the honesty
that la such according to the spirit as well
aa the letter of the law." Doubtless a man
may violate a statute and still be an honest
man, but in so far as Mr. Llttauer's hon
esty was affected by the charge that he
vlnlnted section 3T3 of the Revised Statutes
Its skirts are aa yet not even technically
Clear. ' k ' '
PEnSOXAI. HOTE8,
Senators Hanna and Quay have again
demonstrated ' the advantage of always
standing pat on a good hand.'
D. M. Parry of the National Manufac
turers' association says the republic Is in
danger. . Parry has long needed a cooling
draught.
Sixteen million pupils In the common
schools is a record to which Uncle Sam in
vites the attention of the other nations of
the earth.
The czur of Russia Is the largest Individ
ual landowner In the world. The area of
his possessions Is greater than that of the
rtpu'nllc of France.
A Chicago woman waited two years for
the effect of a stolen kits to wear off. Shu
waited in vain, and then entered suit for
damages. With ordinary diligence she
should have discovered the financial rating
of the kisser before this.
Mrs. Nellie Grant Bart oris, Oeneral
Ulysses S. Grant's only daughter, has es
tablished herself in St. Louis for the win
ter. Her daughter, Miss Rosemary, and
her son, Captain Algernon Sartoris, will
spend the winter with her.
Ex-Congressman K. B. Taylor of Warren,
O, who succeeded Jamta A. Garfield ca
representative of the old Nineteenth dis
trict in congress on the advance of the
latter to the presidency, has juat completed
the fifty-eighth year of his practice of the
law.
Harvard students say that the cheeriest
chap among them Is Arthur E. Small, a
cripplo who moves on crutches. His father,
a Boston furniture dealer, has fitted his
son's room in Thayer hail with everything
that a student could wish. Among the
young man's poaaeaslons is a low buck
board auto, with which he makes long and
tremendously sseedy trips about the
country. Small leads the happiest kind of
life and Is regarded as a living sermon by
his fellow students, who universally love
and respect him for his sunny disposition
and affectionate waya
D0ISC9 IS THE ARMY.
Eveate f laterest Oleaaed free the
Arses- mm Kavy Realater.
The War department has received aA Ir.
terestlng endorsement on some official pa
pers from General John C. Bates, United
States Army, commanding general of the
Department of the. Lakes. Borne weeks
ago a major filed charges of misconduct,
Including the incident of Intoxication
against an officer senior In rank. The ac
cused officer Is one who has a most distin
guished service and ls regarded as a man
of exemplary personal character. The
charges, there's re, attracted much atten
tion, and If t.-y had culminated , In
court-martial would have excited much
sympathy for the accused. General Butea
made an Investigation, as he was obliged
to do under the clrbumstances, and he re
ported that the accused officer had, for the
first time In his life, been under the In
fiuence of liquor: that although guilty of
that convivial Indiscretion he had commit
ted no act of which he need be ashamed
and that his conduct In the state of In
eonety was quite as circumspect as his
bearing In hta usual condition. Oeneral
Bates wound hp his endorsement with the
ststement that If It were not for the ef
feet upon the personal record of the senior
omcer who stood accused thus unjustly he
would recommend for trial by court-mar
tial the accuser. The Incident has. there
fore, gone on the archives of the govern
ment to the harm of no one, unless It be
the officer who found fault with his senior
thus unnecessarily and prematurely.
The Army bead engaged on the revision
Of the Infantry drill reanilAtlnns h
adopted tentatively some changes In the
commands of firing. These changes will re
quire amendment of the commends for
skirmish fire In the new edition of the firing
regulations now In course of preparation.
It is necessary, of course, to have the pro
visions of both books Identical. It Is ex
pected thnt the manual of the new arm
will be Issued from the Army ordnance of
fice In a few days, when Its nrnvlslnns ran
be Incorporated In the text of the new firing
regulations.
No change In army uniforms mnde tn a
long time has been more generally In
dorsed than that which marks the return
to the white stripe nml white chevron of
Infantry. The sentiment of Infantry offi
cers In this respect was pretty well known
in Washington where some statistics hnve
been In the possession of the general staff
for several months. The percentage of
officers In favor of the return to the white
sirlpe and chevron was so high as to be
regarded as practically unanimous. This
.... ui unanimity excites wonder over
the original abandonment of the white nH
the adoption of the characterless light blue.
Of course that shade of blue Is retained for
the trimmings, and It Is no violence to the
artistic sensibility to find the color on the
shoulder and on the collar or even In the
lining of the cape. The offense was noth-
ng less than shocking, however, when the
washed-out blue found itself alongside of.
ana in striking contrast to. the darker,
but still .light, blue of the trousers. It Is
hoped now that the matter Is settled for
all time and that the white has been
restored to the Infantry as its nermnnent
shade.
i
r
The general staff of the armv Is consider.
Ing which of the Infantry regiments shall
be sent to the Philippines in 1904. Tt hp.
been decided not to send to the Islands
any of the colored regiments and probably
but one regiment of Infantry will go abroad
next year. In the natural order of events
the choice would be between those regi
ments which; were the earliest to return
to the United States from the Philippines
In 1002 If this Incident controls tn the
matter the choice seems to be between the
Third and Twelfth regiments of infantry,
both of, which tame back from the Islands
In April of lust year. There are. however,
ten other regiments which returned In the
course of the next few months. and there
may be reason why one of these should be
",rtl msieaa or tne Third or Twelfth
regiments.
The general staff of the nrmy Is , still
considering the reports received from army
Inspectors who visited the colleges and uni
versities in all parts of the country where
are on duty army officers as Instructors o
tactics. Home of these colleges were found
to have failed to come up to the require
ments of the government, and In such In
stances it has been the custom of the gen
eral ataff to refer the criticisms to the
college authorities most directly concern)
The particular ground of compjalnt has
been that the colleges have not given the
required amount of time to military work.
In those Instances where attention has
been called to the deficiency, the excuse
nas been made that the schedule of work
for the season was prepared before the
college authorities had knowledge of the
requirements of the War department, but
these universities have promised to make
amends at the next scho6l year. These
reports hereafter will go to a board which
has charge of the Army War college, and
a system of Inspection will be adopted
tending to keep the educational Institutions
up to the departmental standard.
MOMMEVTS FOR III MORISTS.
Propoaltloa the Bmlllag; I'ablle De
clines to Take Serloasly.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
St. Louie has been invited to contribute
toward a monument for Bill Nye. Humor
ists are rising In the world, when national
monuments are reared In their memory.
Heretofore It has been considered that they
have been sufficiently requited when we
have laughed at their jokes. ,Arteinus
Ward, the first pt the American humorists.
Is not commemorated by a shaft raised by
popular contributions. Most of our other
funny men have resolutely refused to die.
Humor appears to conduce longevity . as
much as its consequence laughter, which
la credited with bringing length of days.
Though, probably, the saddest of men aro
the humorists. It must be no light
responsibility, not to say task, to feel that
it Is compulsory to fetch a laugh. It might
become hateful It certainly does often be
come lugubrious; and who recalls the face
of a true humorist which did not appear
to reflect pain rather than felicity? Is the
sad face the handiwork of the mind
thronged with comlcalltlea, or does it fore
shadow them from the first? Are humor
ists happy? If they should ever answer
this question and say no, we should regard
It as another joke. No one has sympathy
for a humorist. His aches and Illnesses
must even furnish muterta! for mirth.
Mark Twain coined his dyspepsia into a
funny atory. If the humorist tries to be
serious and Is persistent in it, people grow
angry with Mm. Toung writer who start
out to be humorists must abide by their
Dr. Lyon'i
s
PERFECT -
Tooth Povclor
Ued by people of refinement
tor over a quarter of a century
PR a PARED BY -
'aacC
CS. Vs. &tryu
TVEOU)
Absolutely Puro
WERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE
choice If once accepted in their chosen role
by the public. Tou may change every busi
ness but that; a lawyer may become a
banker, a general a railroad president, a
merchant a statesman, but establish your
self as a humorist and you are marked for
life. Never was consistency such a lewel
s in the jokemaker. Bob Burdette's Bap-
tlst congregation in California can not b
restrained from laughing at his sermons.
and a roar of merriment has greeted George
w. Feck s remarks on the weather. Let
the humorist's work deteriorate, either by
his own intention or because he can't help
still he will not be released from his
hsrd lot. Public opinion requires him to
serve out a life sentence. If anybody
deserves a monument, It Is the wretched.
overworked, overjoked humorist. His Is a
lofty courage." for he always runs the risk
being laughed at Instead of laughed
with.
TALK OF THE STATE PRESS.
Pender Republic: When all have had an
opportunity to explain "how It happened."
the election Incident wilt be considered
closed.
Ponca Journal: Republican victories are
now every day occurrences In Nebraska,
so It la beginning to seem a misnomer to
call It Bryan's state.
Ord Quls: What will the leaders of the
defunct populist party do now? The last
kick In the death agony of the party In this
vicinity and In the state was to tumble
themselves out of the democratic bed so
that they will not likely want to crawl
back Into that place for warmth. There
seems to be only one sensible thing to do
and that la to rap loud and long at the
republican back door for admission on pro
bation. If they behave themselves they
will find a welcome and might even in
time become aseful and honored members
of the party of progress.
. Ashland Oasette: Surely and steadily the
republicans are recovering . all of the
ground lost by the organisation of the
fusion movement. We hold our own and
make a gain of two places In the court
house at Wahoo, those of coroner and
surveyor. We also take the new office of
county assessor. We also make a sub
stantial tain In the Fifth judicial district.
retiring Sornberger, populist, and electing
Evans, republican, in his place. It Is
only a question of a little time when there
will be no opposition to render repub
Mean victories even doubtful.
Tekamah Herald: W. O. Sears for dis
trict Judge proved himself a sure winner
by receiving 631 majority In his home
county, 262 majority In Washington
county and 815 In Douglas county, making
1.498 majority in the district over Dickin
son, the high man on the democratic ticket.
Sarpy county's complete returns are not
yet In, which when received may change
the total figures a' little, but his election
Is assured by over 1.200 majority. All of
the other republican candidates for judges
In this district were elected by larger ma
Jorltiea than Sears. So it Is a clean sweep.
Norfolk Press: Young men .who closely
watched the political struggle which ended
on Tuesday ought not to find much In
ducement in it for the young man to enter
politics. It Is safe to say that there was
not a candidate In the field who did not
feel that he had to some extent lowered
the standard of his manhood by being
forced to appeal for votes from his fel
low cltisena. Tha majority of them, doubt
less, did not want to do It, but the fact
that it has become a oustom forced all
to get outjand solicit votes whether they
wanted to or not. The oustom Is bad and
demoralising on both voter and offloe
holder and If not abandoned will work
to prevent the best men from runnlna
for office.
Good Platform to Stand On.
St. Louis O lobe-Democrat.
The Republic of Panama begin, the world '
with a rio.i.-. ....II,.... t
vLtnn vuilllliniuv
and a purpose to support the Monroe doc
trine, which Is a sound, progressive Amer.
lean platform.
EXTREMES A1EET
For cold weather, the long Swagger Overcoat Is the
garment par-excellence.
With plain or belted back, of Meltons, Kersej .
Beavers and Cheviots, In Oxfords, Blacks and Fancy Scotch
Mixtures.
Don't miss the chance of selecting from the very finest
assortment of Overcoats that we have ever made up.
$12.00 to $35.00
a
I It. 8. WILCOX, Mancger.
BEUODLS
LAVOBriTO REMAIUC9.
A happy-go-lucky Nebraska editor Is the
original of 'Sunny Jim." Listen to him:
No wife to fear, no money In the bank,
No tea to buy, no yelling kid to spank.
A free lunch counter always ready at my
hand
Say, ain't I dwelling In tha promised land?
"Are you satisfied with the way the elec
tion went In your part of the oountryT"
"Of course 1 am," answered Senator
Sorghum. "If I weren't going to be sat
isfied I wouldn't have had It go that way."
Washington Star.
Man Oh, yes; she refused me and gave
me no reasons whatever.
Maid Isn't she a saint! Judge.
Dora Are you weather-wise? -Cora-Yes,
I know if I . put on my old
clothes and go downtown on a rainy dav
the sun will come out. Detroit Free Press.
Merrltt Toung Mrs. Olerox calls that tot
tering old hupbiind of hers her "angel."
Isn't that ridiculous? . .
Oesi.lt Not at all. He has the money;
she used to be in the theatrical line, you
know. Philadelphia Press.
'tKatle," said Archie, "do you thjnk you
love me well enough to marry me?"
,. ao not," she promptly answered.
In that case," rejoined Archie, with
equal promptness, "I shall not ask you to.
No young woman ought to marry a man
unless she Is sure she loves him. Don't
you think Howells' latest story la one of
tn w't he has ever written?" Chicago
Tribune.
"Vou say dat; Ulstah Rasberry Jlnklns
Is done reformed an' Jlne de church ?'.'
"Yssslndeed."
"Owlne to gib up ail his had wsvs?"
Taa. Tou see he's done got de dyspepsln
so bad dat he can't eat chicken, nohow,"
Washington Star. '
sBssaasBBBBSBasKeaaaBSKeasasasassjsBaasateastaBBaas.. &
THE DKKFl L, CO I XTBV. x
John Boyle O'Reilly.' '
There once win a time when, as old song
prove It,
The earth was not round, but an endless
plain; . ...
The sea was as wlda as the heavens above
Just millions of miles, and begin-again
And that was the time, aye, and mores the
pity r . . .
" DlayBh0l'Id nd!helJ Vi&W?I4 could
When singers told tales of a crystal dty
In a wonderful country far away I ,
But the schools must come, with their
scales and measures,
To limit the visions and weigh tha spells;
They scoffed at the dreams and the rain
bow treasures, - -And
circled the world with their parallels'
They charted the vales and the sunny
meadows,
Where a poet might ride for a year and
a day: . .
They sounded the depths and they pierced
the shadows,
Of that wonderful country (ar away.
For fancies they gave us theli- microscopic
For knowledge, a rubble of fact and
doubt; -Wing-broken
and caged, like a bird from
the tropics,
Romance at the wandering stars looked
out. ...
Cold Reason, they said, is the earthly Eden.
Go, study Its springs, and Its ores assay;
But fairer the flowers and fields forbidden
Of that wonderful country far away.
They questioned the slumbering baby's
laughter.
And cautioned Its elders to dream by rule:
All mysteries past and to come hereafter
Were settled and solved In their common
school. ,
But sweeter the streams and tha wild birds
' singing, .
The friendships and loves that war true
alwav:
The gladness unseen, like a far bell ringing. .
in him nuiiumiui uuuniry xar away.
Nay, n In tbelr reason our dear Illusion,
Bui ljr than truths that are measured
and welshed
O land of the spirit! where ho Intrusion
from nooamen or doubters shall aye be
made! .
There atlll breaks the murmuring sea to
greet us
On shadowy valley and peaceful bav:-
And souls that were truest still waft tn
meet us
In that wonderful country far away!
Headache Cured
and prTent4 bj Dr. Miles' Anti-Fa In j
! 'L. v"-'.. - '".'V
""e'-"0 w vyimivm.
laxative. Never sold In bulk. Bend for
free book on the cure of headache. 21 doses
U cents. Sold and guaranteed by all drua
MILES MEDICAL CO., JDkhart. Znd.
(O