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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 25, 1903)
Bishop Potter as a Humorist TCrtpyrlght, 1903, by K. Tt. Warner.) cr.. .1 - . r.-c mr- iiumoriMi or me T Lplscopal churth at large," pail M. I a recent Minimum, iia Now York, ns Bishop ,,7 ,! man Potter, il.o nniv v,.,...i .1.. episcopal church In Ar,,.fi, .. ,. . . ...... " llrIB i Coadjutor for other reasons than that r.f actual bodily JnArmlty, passed by. "Jles Tot Just as much reputation fur his wit In Our church us ho li.is by ranim of hi being the head of our most Important uocese. "My dear bishop," a clergyman In bustling western town is alleged to have aid to HlHhop Potter, on the occasion of the lattera visit to the former's paiish to deliver a lecture, "if-ahem-you-ah-co..l.l manage to keep from putting tgo much ah-fun Into your talk tonight. My peo-plo-ah-tuke their religion seriously, don't you know." Bishop Potter's reputation as a humorist to wldpread; It Is not limited to the Organization which he is one of the best knon heads. This Is due to his ability to furnish his own Joke whenever It Is necessary, and to store way for fu ture use, when It will be pat. any good tory he may henr. Ban Francisco 1b still repeating and toughing over the bon motH which the bishop let drop on the occasion of his Islt to that city two years ugo, to attend the Kplseopal convention. At that time the citizens were very much astir because the famous eastern bishop was to be a visitor within their gates, ami they vie with 0110 another to honor their truest. , T-Ija bishop was kept busy declining the Invitations thnt he had not timo to accept. But ono Invitation that lie did avail himself of was to occupy the mag nificent residence of the wculthy William Crocker-one of the millionaire families, of Which Mrs. Francis Burton Harrison and Mrs. Alexander are eastern representatives. The house Is a showy one, situated upon rol Hill, where the early California mil lionaires built their homes, so It Is a il.ow place;" It came to have a doubla Interest when It was occupied by th bishop, one day a Sin Franciscan waa hawing the group of residences to a friend Who was visiting In the city. As they approached the "Will Crocker" homo he prang the treasured Joke which he hnd been saving for the right moment. "This,", aid he with a flourish, "Is Mr. Crocker Pottery." He did not recognize the gentleman who Waa at that moment descending the steps. It was the bishop, who could not help over hearing, and who had a twinkle In his eye. "I beg pardon for correcting you," he said, "but you are mistaken. This Is Bishop rotter's Crockery." The bishop and J. Plerpont Morgan were the most famous guests that San Francisco had at the time, and they were both be aleged by the press. Mr. Morgan showed his customary disin clination for all publicity. On the day of arrival, when all the members of the party were being conveyed from the train to the city, the ferryboat was crowded with pho tographers lying in wait for them. Mr. Morgan dodged here, there, every where, and was met by the persistent camera fiends at every turn. "How shall I get away from them?" he asked in dismay. "I'll help you." said Bishop Totter, and thereupon he began a defense of his fr'end. Whenever a kodak appeared he would place himself In front of the financier, and laugh back over his shoulder at the baffled photoKTapher. Once he waved his arm J st In time to spoil a plate that was being sur reptitiously exposed. He spreud his coat at the critical moment of another. On every occasion he had his Joke for the disap pointed man, so that the whole army had to vote him a good fellow In spite f the trouble he caused them. "Mr. Morgan positively refuses to look pleasant this morning," the bishop affably told one man. "He must be properly coaxed to smile." When the end of the twenty-minute ferry trip was reached, the bishop crowded with the rtst of the passengers to the forwaid deck. There he found the customary chain uBpended acreBs the stairs and the custo mary sign reading, "Passengers are for bidden to go upon these Btnlrs untlf tie boat stops." "I want to go upon those stairs," some one overheard Bishop Potter say. "WhyT" inquired Mr. Morgan. "Bwause of that sign," answered the right reverend gentleman. "I have the same Impulse," put In the bishop of Albany. "Come on," said Bishop Potter. And the two of them ducked their digni fied heads like two naughty boys crawling under a circus tent ami xnonL.i nr..i. v, cnain, one eccelcautstica.1 hat bein badly ouarrangeu ry the performance. "There's nothln IntM-emlmr !.,., this lowor deck," said the bishop of Albany, looking about. The boat had not yet topped. "Not about the deck," explained Bishop Potior Impatiently, "but dou't you set the ' ' ' I y : v REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES pleasure In ItT We were to'd by that sign not to do It" It Is a well known fact that the bishop disapproves of the reckless giving of alms. He has sharp censure for the kind of giving that fosters crime and deceit. He believes In saving alms for the deserving needy. Bomebody relates the story of the bishop s being stopped by a street beggar one even ing as he was hurrying home. He Is never In too much of a hurry to stop when he thinks he may be of use, so ho paused, even though he wus a hungry man and dinner was awaiting him a long way off. "What's the trouble.?" he asked the man. "Can you help a poor blind man to a night's lodgln'?" began the usual whine. "I haven't a penny in my pocket, sir.' The man was a hearty specimen with a patch over one eye, the other, one being closed. The bishop turned his glance for an Instant, and when he looked back he saw, In ono quick Instant, the hitherto closed eye of the beggar giving a wise wink to a friend who stood beside him. The bishop dived into his pocket and brought forth a bogus coin that had been passed on him a lltt'.e while before. "Don't you think If I give you this my alms will suit your affliction?" he said. The bishop ha a gentle laugh up his sleeve for the extremists of the antique craze. He lives In a modern home, and he does not believe in carrying the fad for antique adornments to excess. "Let's have old things when they are useful or beau tiful." he says, "but what's the sense In living like our ancestors when we know how to be more comfortable than they?" He has a family of frlenfl who carry this fad to Its extreme limit and the bishop has merrily rallied them many a time on their mania. "Don't take to cliff dwelling for the sake of being fashionable," he snid to them once. His own home displays a good electric bell that announces the caller by a shrill modern burr that resounds loudly. But one day when he called at his friend's house he was surprised to And no button which he might press. In Its stead was an old bronze knocker of rare and early design. FOR DISTRICT JUDGE, FOURTH JUDICIAL. DISTRICT OF NEBRASKA. The bishop applied himself vigorously to the task of rapping. No answer. Mean while he could Fee smoke coming out of the kitchen chimney, and, by the hour, he knew that some one was preparing dinner. He was anxious to see the family, for a pressing matter had caused him to call, so he was tantalized by the sight of the r-moke. But the gate that led to the side entranco was locked, so there was no possible way to enter except at the front. He knocked harder. No answer. At last, tired of wait ing, he took out a card and scrawled across its buck: "I have decided not to come In, after all, as I have carelessly kept on twentieth cen tury garb." A member of a well known scientific so ciety of New York tells of the bishop's be ing Invited to address that learned body, and when he arose the natural expectation was that he would begin with some eulogy of the wonders of science. But, Instead, the scientists were surprised with the follow ing: ' "Gentlemen," he said, "a lively young person tells me that she has at l.tst da covered the use of a professor. She thought he was a creature made to look s?vere in the schoolroom and to ask unanswerable questions. These things were of no use. But now she has been to a play wherein the professor is p'ciured as a mo:t amusing personage with goggles and gre?n cotton umbrella. 'He was a perfect fill to set off the noble heio and the charming heroine," she explains. "That's surely w hat a profes. sjr is for a background as a rell;f u-sain.-t which the rest of the world may look de lightful by contrast!' " The bishop is not only a good talker, but Is a good listener, and he can appreciate the other man's Joke. A friend once told him an anecdote about "Boas" Tweed that he enjoyed heartily, and afterwards In corporated into one of his published pip rs with the friend's permission. He Is averse to adopting the usual method of telling an other's story' In the first person. This tale runs to the effect that Tweed, on one occasion, was standing with a group la the mayor's office, when a large diamond as b!g as a strawberry, the bishop says rolled upon the floor. Some one of the group picked it up and passed it around to find Its owner. "Not mine," said one after another. Tweed fumbled with his garments for a minute, then reached for the stone. "It must be mine," he said. "I see I've lost one of my suspender buttons." Sentence Sermons A liar needs no label. Life is the laboratory of religion. Our phrases are but the garments ef truth. A day without a good deed leaves you la debt. Happiness is never picked up on the bar gain counter. The best' men are always looking for the best In men He became the Man of Sorrows for the sorrows of men. You cannot carry a crooked rule along the straight road. The road of prejudice never leads to the realm of truth. It 13 only tomorrow's burdens that break the back of today. ' It is a cheap makeshift to mock at what you cannot make. Keep your complaints out of your heart and they will die of neglect. ' The more of a man the saint Is the mora of a saint the man will be. A brotherly boost is often worth a whole lot of sisterly sympathy. A men has no business with religion who has no religion with his business. You cannot get up an orchestra composed of people who blow their own horns. It Is no use a man's trying to be holy unless he has made up bis mind to be honest. Flowery language is Just as likely to ln dicate a seedy character as a saintly one. You cannot pray to your Father while you are figuring on preying on your brother. It makes all the difference whether doubt Is your terminus or but a station en youi track. Chicago Tribune.