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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1903)
THE ILLUSTRATED BISE. A SCHOOL October 4, 1901. All business branches Book-keeping, Stenography, Typewriting, Penman ship, Commercial Law, Arithmetic, Business Correspondence, Practical Office Work, etc. Largest, best equipped, and most thorough business college in Omaha. Students are being admitted daily. Apply for Catalogue. Address, H. B. BOYLES, PRESIDENT. New York Life Building,. Omaha. ATRICK had worked hard all hla days, but hi Bona had spent hla money, and when he waa too old for active work he waa offered the position of crossing tender at a lima II railroad station, near Philadelphia, relates the Public Ledger. lie looked dubious aa his dutiea were explained to him, and the meaning of the various flags was clearly stated. "In case of danger, with a train coming, of course you wave the red fl&g," said his friend, proceeding with the explanation. A Imrd old hand grasped his arm. "Man. dear. It'll never do," said Pntrick. shaking his head solemnly. "I could never trust inesilf to emlinber to wave a red flag whin there waa a green wan handy." Fx-Judge S P. Met'onnell of the Oeorge A. Fuller Construction company la credited with a story about an acquaintance, a dapper, conceited young chap, who has an aversion to negroes, reports the New York Times. This acquaintance boarded a north bound Klghth Avenue car at Thirteenth street one Saturday night not long ago. The car waa crowded, and after a few blocka had been paaed, the young fellow found himself In the aide Just behind a fat negroaa with a baby. For Ihe infant's com fort it waa slung over tlx mother's shoul der. It was a Jolly little thing, smiling a ad trying to talk to all around It. Suddenly It saw the prim young man, and all at once Ha fat little arma shot out and Ita black little fingers wiggled Invitingly. "Papa! Papa!" gurgled the babe, "doo gaot Pltty papa!" The chuckles and giggles of the onlooker THAT HAS IMBIBED THE COMMERCIAL SPIRIT OF THE AGE. Gleanings From the became guffaws when the mother, glancing backward, said in a reproving tone: "Hush yo' mouf, yo' fool chile. That's not yo' papa." Then she turned to the young fellow and apologised thus: "I'se noticed hit befo'. Sah, an' now I'se shuah ob hit. This baby's sutlngly color blind; he Is, Indeedly. Too bad. Sah, hain't It?" The young man did not wait to reply, nor does he know Just how he got off the car. Max O'Kell used to tell a story about hla tirst experience with a Chicago newspaper reporter. The genial Frenchman had Jnst arrived at the Grand Pacific hotel and had retired to his room to rest after a fatiguing Journey. In order to get the moKt possible out of the short siesta he took off his clothes and got into bed. The day was a hot one, and for better circnlu tlon of air he left the door slightly ajar, placing a chair against It for security. Shortly afterward he was awakened from his nap by a knock at the door, and he drowsily inquired who waa there. "Mr. Blank of the Daily So-and-So," re plied the reporter. "I cannot be disturbed now," called O'Rell "You will have to come again. I cannot see. you now. I am in bed." Notwithstanding this Injunction the humorist saw the door pushed opes th. chair fell over on the floor and the reporter entered the room, threw his hat oa tha table, sighed and helped himself fb a chair. "Weil, well, well!" exclaimed tha now angry Frenchman." "This la unprecedented. Story Tellers' What will you have, sir? What'll you have?" "Thank you," replied the reporter, fan ning himself. "I'll take a gin flu." "A man up In my country had a mel ancholy experience," declared Senator Frye of Maine. "This man determined to get a shave every other day and to let every barler cut his hair who suggested it. At the end of a week three different barbers had intimated that the hair needed trimming and were told to 'go ahead and trim.' As the hair was now beyond the trimming stage, the fourth barber's ad vice, 'that clipping would he beneficial,' was accepted. 'Now,' thought the man, 'the next barber will le satisfied that when I say shave, I mean shave, and nothing more.' Yet when the fifth barber men tioned 'singeing.' he permitted his chxsely cropped hair to be singed. The sixth night was on a Saturday. lie went to still an other barber, now satisfied that when he said 'shave' no barber would have the temerity to hint at an attempt to reduce the length of hla hair. " 'Did you ever try Dr. Comeup's hair restorer?" questioned the barber as he took up a bottle." "The Indians had a quicker way of get ting at a man's scalp than these barbers," commented Senator Chandler. "Yea," said the Maine statesman, "hut we are living under modern, not ancient barbarism." The little girl had been atroagly in fluenced by the revival services, and Anally Pack '" Join ine church. She was requested to go he fore th deacons. After they had talked gravely with her for half an hour tho senior deucou said: ow, Maud. Is there a question would like to ask about Joining you tha . uurvii . "Yes, sir. there Is," said Maud earnestly. Will the congregation rubber much when I Join?" Roman Revels (Continued from Page Seventeen.) all those who had been grouped aroun4 where the great mogul did designate, and I heard otie say, That wasn't so worse and another answered, 'What we did wo a plenty,' and still a third exclaimed, 'That dam elephant is all right,' And the there waa a clamor, and behold! Withia a banquet hall waa spread many kinds of strange meat, and drink like unto that which here we quaffed. Nor was this all imi ere t Had the secret learned and gained from any certain knowledge of wnai manner or men I was among, rudely Jostled by one who rru.i ' waa "Say, we want to close the place. Y'can't Bleep here." It was the waiter, and he was Impress ing on the wayfarer the fact that while the place -might keep open after hours, it wasn't a lodging house. Incidentally, the Roman Reveler had gone, and the check was left for the wayfarer to settle.