It
TIIE OMAIIA IfAILY BEE? SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 20. 1903.
Pi
'The Omaiia Sunday Bcr
B. ROSEWATEH. EDITOR.
PUBLISHED EVERT MORNING.
TERMS Of SUBSCRIPTION.
II Fee (wlthont Sunday). One Year..$4 "0
l'atly 11 ind Sunday,
year..
.no
Illustrated One Year
Fiindar Hee. Dn Year..
SstuMav One Year
l.EO
1.00
Twentieth Century Farmer. One Tear..
DELIVERED BY CARRIER.
llr R (without sumtny), per copy..
ailv iithAn Rn.Aivt ner w-rk.
ally Bee (Including Sunday). pr week..l7o
unday Be. per eopy
vening fcee (without Sunday), per week W
per eopy.
ay), per wees 60
Sunday), per
19c
Bea (Including
weak
ComrUlnta Af IrmanihtHtiAl
In delivery
should be addressed to City Circulation Da-I
pertinent.
orncra
OmahaThe Be Building.
South Omaha City Hall Building,
ty-nrth and M Streets.
Council BtufTn 10 rearl Street
Chlearo-lfio Unity Building.
New fork '.' Park Row Bulldlnf.
Washington fm Fmtrteenth Street.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and edi
torial rr.atter should b addressed: Omahe
Bee. Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft. express or postal order
Esyable to Tha Bea Publishing Company,
nly $-eent stamps accepted In payment of
tnafl accounts, personal checks, eseept on
Omaha or eastern exrtuns-oa. not accented.
THE BEE PUBLIBIIINO COMrANT.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.:
Qeorge B. TischucK. secretary of Tha Bea
Publishing er.mn.my, being duly sworn, says
that tha actual numbei of full and com.
blete copies or Tha Dallv Morning. Evening
and Sunday Baa printed during tha month
er August, lwa, waa aa follows:
1 so.eio
17
..an.ono
..ao.oio
..SOIHO
,.ai,iio
..ai,S"o
, .ifu.llrtu
. .srn.asn
..iiii.nuo
..irii.fMK)
..W,47U
I xrMw
It....
I..
SO.TSO
wwnu
sn.rou
SCO.TBO
xn.eso
80,180
10
SI...,.
it
u
14
M
n
10
u
M
1
14
IS
I ,
Total
,...M,ilO
....ItD.tMXt
....au.onn
....'MfittO
....2,WI
... .SO.430'
....ai.oua
39.,
10.
11.
...O04.NJ13
Less unsold and relumed coplaa.... StlU
Net total aalaa S'.tfl.liro
Net average salca 3.na
QEORGK B. TZSCHcCK.
Subscribed In my preacnea aid sworn to
before ma thl tlat day ot Aug;iat. A. D.1W.
M. B. UUNOATH,
(Baal.) . . k Notary Publle.
i H i i ''a
PAIIT1BS LEAVISTQ THE ITV.
. Partlaa leavlas eliy mt
any tlaaa nay hare Tha Bea '
aaat to than reniarly by
MStlfrlns Tha Bee Baainaaa
afflaa, lm parson or by mall,
The address nil) ba cbaacail
a ftew aa desired.
Oh, for a Folk to run down and prose
cute grafters nnd boodlers, ' . .
What tho British cabinet needs Is pro
tection glue to make it stick.
King Edward is now trying his hand
at the cabinet maker's trade. '
In the work of reclamation of the
arid lauda irrigation and forestry must
go hand in hand.
Santiago, Cuba, has received the
worst shaking np since the shaking up
at the battle of San Juan HilL
The lesson of the British cabinet
t crisis la that there is such a thing as a
king having too many chamberlains.
It la about time for the Illinois Cen
tral stockholder to pick up his grip and
tart for his annual deudhend outing at
Chicago.
Courage, honesty and common sense
are the three basic qunllficntlons of
good cltlienshlp commended by Tresi
dent Roosevelt. v .
City employes on the electric lighting
company pay roll should not be bashful
In coming forward and asking for e.
temporary leave of ubBence.
Sir Thomas Upton 1ms acquired n
generous dose of indigestion and needs
enly to supplement it with his first pa
pers to become a real American cltlsen.
i g'i.g-'.i1 1
Up to date no cundldute In these purts
baa ventured to decorate the bill boards
with mammoth alfresco cartoons a lu
Pave Mercer, but election is still more
than six weeka off.
The fact that Pope Plus X hns placed
B new man In charge of the contribu
tion box in the Vatican Is Interpreted
a a gospel proof that bis Is to be a busi
ness administration.
. The national dressmakers' convention
baa reached the conclusion that de
formed forms can be reformed. We
may now look for a brisk reform move
ment all along, the clothes line.
i '. . ..
It Is evident thnt the thousand bottles
of champagne pledged fur the enter
tainment of the delegates were prop
erly uncotkod at Ogdeu. The proceed
ings took on thnt enthusiastic tone
which spiritual Inlatlou Infuses,
A good many carving kulves are being
furbished and sharpened by European
potentates in anticipation of the Im
pending partition of Turkey which is
to be carved and Served np with Mace
donian sauce on TWnkaglving day or
thereabouts.
St Louis is not fastidious about roy
alties at the coining International expo
sition. The GlotitvDeiaocrat declares
that If neither the prince of Wales nor
Lord Roberts can be induced to coiue to
the fair St. Louis will bave to be tatlt
fled with the sultan of Sulu aud the
earl of I'awtucket " .
Much as the mob spirit la to be dis
countenanced, there la some Justifica
tion for the wrath of a Nebraska eo:u
munlty when an Indiscreet vocalist
sang "Push Dew Clouds AwyM durln
the critical hours of Tue!ay and
Wednesday. Fortunately for the causa
of law and order, tha vocalist was sup
pressed without vloltsae.
Thk jyDtAir FRvBLtn.
Amon; the problems which majr coma
op for solution at the band of ttj
coming conjrress Is the reform of ex
isting methods In dealing with the red
men., that hare been adopted aa wards
of the nation. The rnont liberal esti
mate of the number of Indiana in the
United States la quarter of a million.
For these Indians about 110,000,000
acres of land and $24,000,000 In trust
funds is held bjr the government. Dur
ing the last twenty years f 45,000,000
have been spent by the government for
the education of not more than 20,000
Indian pupils, and a very considerable
amonnt hna hwn devoted to the educa
tlon of the Indians by mission schools
of various Christian sects.
In the very able contribution to the
last number of The Outlook, Mr.
Frank Wood discusses at considerable
length the evils of the reservation
agency system, which he pronounces as
a complicated, cumbrous machine,
constructed without an intelligent pnr
pope for the benefit of an army of office
holders and polltlclana who handle mil
lions of dollars annually, and exert a
potential Influence upon the adminis
tration, and a pernicious Influence upon
the Indians. In this conclusion we
fully concur with Mr. Wood.
Mr. Wood also correctly diagnoses
the Indian agent In that:
Ha Is tha most Important factor on tha
reservation, has almost absolute authority
not only over th Indians, but over tha
school authorities and missionaries be
cause his power has frown to the over
throw of all self-government, and he la
found an Irresponsible despot with no laws
to execute tha rules and ordera from the
department at Washington. Tha agent Is
rarely selectnd on account of his fitness
for tha place he Is given or for his Interest
In the civilisation, education or Chrlstlan
lintlon of the Indians. Tha exigencies of
politics, not the Interest of the Indians,
dictate tha appointment of agents. The
local politicians of the states and terri
tories nearest the Indian reservations are
generally allowed the right to nominate
the Indian scents and they are too often
selected from second and third-rate politi
cians to pay political debts. Such officials
teach Inefficiency and Immorality.
A more truthful sketch could scarcely
have been penned If the mind's eye of
Mr. Wood had been riveted on the
Omaha and Winnebago reservation.
We heartily agree with Mr. Wood also
in his conclusions concerning the solu
tion of the problem: First, by turning
the searchlight of publicity on the res
ervation system, second, by the aboli
tion of the reservation, wherever any
trlle has reached the stage of ctvtllsa
tlon that would justify the government
in leaving the Indians free to work out
their own salvation; and, third, by
centering the responsibility for the ad
ministration of the trust assumed by
the government for the Indians and
the supervision of the agencies cm
ployed for their civilization and educa
tlon - in the commissioner of Indian
affairs, under such restrictions as will
perfect abuses that are now rightfully
laid at the door of the Indian bureau.
Any suggestion to transfer the lu
reau from the Department of the In
terior to the War department la hardly
worth considering. Beml-cirlllzed In
dlnns may have to be governed by
force of arms and an army officer would
doubtless . enforce discipline raota
effectively than a civilian, but thn
sword is not an instrument of peace.
Military rule on reservations occupied
by Indians who have' pussod beyond
the seml-savagc state would prove de
moralizing to the army nnd of compara
tivcly snijtll lxneflt to the Indian.
Whnt Is needed above till things in the
solution of the Indian problem Is an
executive of the highest type of honor
and honesty at the head of the India u
bureau nnd supervision by rigidly bon
est and sober men, who would set an
example for integrity and morality and
protect the Indian not only from the
rapacity of white men, but also from
himself when he Is disposed to go
wrong.
IHTHMtAK VAXAL TltArFIC.
A quest'on thnt has played a . large
part' In the discussion of the Isthmian
canal question and may yet figure to
some extent In . the discussion of that
mntter, for It is certainly one of lm
ports nee, relHt.es to the possible traffic
of the proposed canal that is, whether
It will be remunerative or not. There
Is, It Is ueedless to wiy, a difference of
opinion in regard to this. There is
some very good authority contending
thnt under no clrcunistnuces can the
projected waterway be made profitable
to the United States. A few statisticians
of undoubted ability assert thnt if the
United Statea shall construct the
Panama canal the enterprise will be a
continual financial loss to this conn try.
On the other hand it is urged that there
Is no question that the proposed canal
would not only pay all the expenses
connected with It, but a very fair divi
dend npon the Investnicut.
It is manifestly Impossible foe auy
one to determine in advance what the
results of the pressed Isthmian canal
might be. It might pay from the be
ginning and it might not pay far years
to come. That Involves a question
which hns never been seriously con
sidered by our government and never
will be. It Is not a question of what
the tnteroceanlc canal will yield at once
or at some future time in revenue, but
whut It will be la its atratelo position
as well as In its commercial influence.
Th Untod Statea wants the canal not
wholly as n commercial proposition. Ini
'portnnt aa that unquestionably Is, but
also from Its value In a military point
of view, which If secondary Is by no
means unimportant.
A writer in the Qnarterly Journal of
Economics fur August takes the post
t'on that by the time the Panama canal
would be completed, say by 1914, the
commerce going through that canal
would be sufficient to perhaps meet the
expenses, but not enough to pay any
dividend upon tho Investment This
mriter does not take anything like a
pessimistic view of tha situation, but on
tha other band ha does not hold out the
idea that an Isthmian ranal wilt from
the outset be a profitable Investment,
considered purely from a financial rlow,
to the nation. Perhaps no one expects
this and It will not Interfere with the
nearly universal demand for an isthmian
canal.
pvLtcr vr RtTALtATinn.
There has been a great deal said In
recent years In regard to International
retaliation In the matter of commerce,
but nothing of a really practical nature
has yet been adopted by any country.
Perhaps the nearest approach to it was
In the caBe of the Russian government's
action when It adopted retaliatory du
ties after the decision of our govern
ment that Its policy In regard to sugar
waa In effect a bounty. Russian retalia
tion in that case has been shown to
have been absolutely without warrant
and yet that country haa not departed
from its unwarranted policy, the effect
of which has been more or less Injuri
ous to our trade with that empire. In
a minor degree our foreign trade Inter
ests have suffered to some extent from
a policy of retaliation on the part of
foreign governments, but these circum
stances have not been sufficiently seri
ous to cause any great complaint.
Now we are confronted with a prop
osition of more portentous significance
than any we have yet had to consider.
This is the British idea of retaliation
that is being urged by Mr. Chamberlain
and supported by Premier Balfour.
That Is something that has really a seri
ous aspect or would have if it was ad
mitted that It is entirely practicable,
but there are certain difficulties In the
way which at least suggest a doubt
whether this extraordinary British sug
gestion can be made available. What,
in fact, does it mean? Obviously this,
that unless Great Britain In arranging
treotles of commerce with other coun
tries is able to make terms satisfactory
to herself with any country-she will
reserve the right to retaliate upon that
country. This appears to be the logical
Inference from the expressions of the
exponents of the proposed reform Jn the
British fiscal policy.
What does this mean so far as the
United States Is concerned? Simply
this, as now indicated, that unless
Great Britain shall be able to obtain
certain concessions from this country In
commercial way concessions that
will be really favorable to the colonies
of that country we may expect a sys
tem of retaliation in trade. The folly
and futility of such a proposition ought
to bo apparent to everybody of ordinary
Judgment. It would seem to be beyond
question that it can never command the
support of a majority of the people of
the United KinL'dom. There la abso
lutely nothing, when we consider , the
present condition of the British colonies
or of tho empire as a whole, to commend
It It Is a policy that would inevitably
bring Great Britain to a condition In
the last degree disastrous to her wel
fare and leave her stranded as an in
dustrial and commercial power. Modify
her fiscal policy how she will, she can
never afford to enter upon a system 'of
trade retaliation.
All AMtniCAR ptorciT.
Incidentally an American protest Is
supposed to relate to some great Inter
national Interest, ahd in this. relation it
naturally commands a great deal of at
tention, but the little matter relating to
Sail Domingo's protest in regard to the
neutrality of the watera of that coun
try will probably be passed over by the
average American aa of no consequence.
Yet as a matter of fact It is of very
considerable importance and may in
volve our government In a controversy,
not perhaps of an internatlonaIvchar
acter, and yet of one in which the au
thority of the tJnltcd States muy be
called to account In no uncertain way.
The protest of our government In re
gard to the neutrality of the Dominican
waters appears to be on tho surface
perfectly legitimate and proper and per
haps Is. so, yet there Is a, reasonable
opportunity for objection on the part of
other powers in Interest that may com
pel this country to modify Its position
and make some concessions to the other
nations. The obvious fact Is that we
nre involved In this matter, trifling ns
I It may seem, in an issue which may
eventnnlly bring about" disagreeable
complications. Nothing of that kind
seems imminent at present, but we can
not be sure of the future in the pres
ence or such a possibility. Now what
is our duty In the matter? Manifestly
to confine ourselves to the preservation
of our rights and interests und let the
matter if our Intervention slop there.
i
rRIKSDOF THK COLORKD 3tAK.
The former governor of Oeortrta, Mr.
Northern, Is one of the few southern
men who believe that the colored man
Is not wholly bad and that it is not
necessary to drivo hhu out of the south.
Iu a recent talk he said that he had
lived all his life with the negro and he
hud found him faithful in all relations,
worthy of trust and confidence In every
capacity. He paid an unqualified trib
ute to the Integrity of the negro ai he
had found him through years of per
sonal association and said that the
better class ot negroes "have shown
themselves quite as much in favor of
the death penalty for the outlaws ot
their race who commit assaults as are
the white people themselves."
.There la not a reasonable doubt that
this Is the fact The better class of
the negroes of the south, there Is every
reason to believe, are as much opposed
as any portion of the population to the
criminal conduct of members of their
race and if they do not manifest this
as they ought to do the reason Is uot
difficult to find. The fault Is largely
with the white man himself. We are
iucllned to think with Mr. Northern,
that If the whites ot the south will
insure the absolute carrying out of the
laws ilrly and Impartially there will
be no excuse for lynch law, and the
negroes will Join hands wltti the whites
In punlshlrfg those who violate ttr law.
In the propagation of religious
doctrine, as In the dramatic arena, the
Inexorable trend of twentieth century
evolution is toward publicity. Chris
tianity must go Into the advertising
business or drop out of the procession.
This Is the opinion expressed by clergy
men In two large and representative
religious bodies In Wisconsin last week.
Presiding Elder Dr. D. C. John of the
Oshkosb district created a decided stir
at the Methodist Episcopal conference
by the declaration that the Methodist
church must adopt new methods for at
tracting people or conversions would
cease. According to Dr. John, the peo
ple exhibit not only Indifference, but
actual hostility to the old revival meth
ods. . It was, he said, almost impossible
to gather a congregation for revlvala
without some special attractions, which
must be advertised. Dr. Sanderson, an
eminent Presbyterian clergyman, Is
quoted as saying in a Presbyterian
synod that the church would have to go
Into the advertising business if It ex
pected to keep up Its growth. Mani
festly modern business methods must be
Introduced In the propagation of the
faith as well as In tho management of
an auditorium or a department store.
Texas is the most radical anti-monopoly
state in the union. Its constitution
and laws are a barrier for trusts and
combinations In restraint of trade and
its state officers seem to be imbued with
unflinching determination to execute
and enforce the laws agnlnst corporate
aggression and lawlessness. Within the ;
past five years Texas has successfully
grappled With the Standard Oil trust
and other monopolistic concerns that
have sought to evade the regulations
Imposed by Texas upon foreign cor
porations doing business in vlolatiou of
the anti trust law. Within the past
week the attorney general of Texaa has
been instructed by the state commis
sioner of Insurance to file suits against
a score of tire insurance companies f or
failing to make annual reports to the
state insurance department as required
by law. It is almost a foregone con
clusion that the charters of these cor
porations will be revoked and their fur
ther prosecution of fire Insurance busi
ness will be cut short
Methodist circuit riders whose un
derstanding will fill a number 'twelve
shoe should promptly respond to the
following advertisement written ' by
President Gladden and published lu the
Methodist Record, the organ of the
Methodist church:
This conference needs at least three or
four nyjre pastors for circuit work, and
any one who can fill the following condl
tlons will be welcomed to wit: Must have
small family, If any, and be able to fur
nish a horse and come to charge unas
sisted; no doubts as to call , to ministry,
not .afraid of work, no hobbles, no plaoe
hunter, sound on the doctrine of holiness
as held by the Methodist Protestant church
at large.
He must be less than to years of age,
willing to begin for nominal salary, $100
to $300, and probably a parsonage, a
good clear head, a warm, loving heart, and
big feet, well planted on the ground of
common sense. '
The clearing house exhibit of the past
week is suggestive as well as Instruct
ive. While the bank clearings of New
York show u drop of 07.5 per cent
those of Philadelphia 11.2, Baltimore
11.8, Boston C.3, the bank clearings of
Chicago show nn increase of 7.5, those
of St Lonls fl.5, Detroit 12.3, Indian
apolis 21.2, Omaha 12.7, Milwaukee 20.0,
Kansas City 0.3, St. Joseph 15.7, San
Francisco 14, Los Angeles 41 and Port
land, Ore., 21. The contrast between
the tremendous decline in New York
and the merked increase in the bank
clearings of the cities of the middle
West, as well ns on the rnclflc coast,
forcibly exhibits the relative conditions
In commercial and industrial centers
east and west
After profound investigation and ap
plication of a hair restorative the su
preme court commission has retK-hed
the conclusion that dandruff is caused
by microbes and parasites, and the
claim made for the preparation that
exterminates'' microbes, parasites end
other inhabitants is ft sure cure for
bulduess and therefore Is not falso or
frauduleut and consequently subject to
Infringement uudt'r the patent laws of
the United Statea. It Is to be hope!
that the honorable justices of the su
preme bench and supreme court com
mission, who sport cranial skating
rluks, will not neglect to avail them
selves of the copyrighted preparation
ao highly recommended.
In his re,-lew of the condition and
prospective needs of the Department of
the Missouri General Bates recom
mends that the Apache prisoners be re
moved from Fort Sill to some more
congeulal location. Most of the Apache
prisoners, from Big Chief Oeronlmo
down to Little Warrior In the roar
ranks, are being removed rapidly to
the happy hunting grounds, and the
new generation of "prlsonera" will prob
ably be reprieved for the sins of their
fathers in the no distant future.
The salary of the clerk of the court
for this district is -j,000 a year with
about $1,500 more in perquisites. One
of the republican candidates for the
position offers to guarantee an annual
saving of $8,000 to the county In office
expenses, If lie Is nominated and
elected. Why not put the office up in
a raffie. or let the man who ofTers the
biggest bonus knock the persimmons?
There are some people In this county
willing to serve for one-fourth of a
salary as a starter.
The threat of the Washington Cen
tral Labor union to declare President
P.oosevelt unfair by reason of his atti
tude In the now famous Miller case Is
puerile. President Roosevelt hss alwiys
proved himself a man who has tho cour-
age of bis convictions. lie can be
argued with and reasoned with, but be
cannot be driven.
It now looks as If the whole Missouri
legislature will have to be subjected to
the Inquisition of the grand Jury. The
majority of the Missouri lawmakers
have been traveling on forbidden
"mnles" and drawing mileage at the
same time. That is not an uncommon
practice in Nebraska.
Rauaolaar for Fait
Detroit Free Press.
In threatening to declare war against
Turkey, Bulgaria, seems to bave forgotten
what happened to Greece.
Booa for the Bald.
Chicago Record-Herald.
A surgeon announces tha discovery that
tha X-ray will make hair grew where all
other hair tonics fail. This is all right for
the hair, but of what use Is tha scrambled
brains T
Slipperyt as Venal.
fit. Louis Republic.
According to the president of the Na
tional Dressmakers' association, the high
est compliment which can be paid to a
woman this winter will be: "You're shaped
just like an eel." It's too thinl
Pointing Oat tha Plague Ppot.
Chicago News.
While looking for ways and' means of
checking tha spread of "Hiawatha" hu
mane persons should also put a close watch
on the author. He may be trying to do
something more terrible than "Hiawatha,"
Impossible as such an ambition may seem.
White Man's Bardem.
Chicago News.
With a packers' combine In working or
der, a farmers' trust and a grocers' trust
looming up aa a possibility of the near
future, the publio has ample warning to
prepare for the eventual formation of a
merger to be known aa the United States
Food corporation.
Costly Necessities.
New York Bun.
It Is Interesting to learn that mors
money will be paid tor the duke of Rox-
burghe'S coronet than for that of ths duke
of Marlborough. It Is dreadfully expen
sive to purchase the right to wear tha
strawberry-leaf badge on your handker
chief and underwear these days.
Ianocenta Take lm,
San Francisco Chronicle.
At a recent sham battle In Leavenworth
three of the spectators, by the collapse of
an observation stand, were killed. The peo
ple of Leavenworth ahould take consolation
In the fact that a sham battle is not tha
only American game In which the specta
tors generally get the worst of It.
Wheat Will the End Be Reached
New York Tribune.
When will the end of breaking records be
reached? With Lou Dillon trotting a mile
In two minutes, with Dan Patoh pacing a
mile In a second less, with automobiles
whirring fifty mllea within sixty minutes.
with locomotive engines moving at even
greater speed, with motor bicycles "doing
stunts" at gaits that take one's breath
away. Is there now any room for leisure
and deliberation In this hurrying world?
Thankleaa Protection of Deadhead.
Baltimore American.
Castro's point-blank . refusal to . pay hla
honest debts should be the cue for Uncle
Sam's withdrawal of any form of protection
so far aa any legitimate sort of collection
goes. So long as the. Monroe Doctrine Is
not Interfeted with the powers should be
permltton to enforce their claims. A presi
dent vnho refuses to pay his honest debts
or to respect the findings of an International
board of arbitration, and who In the face
of alt this plans a foreign war of aggrea-
slon, has carried the principle of lm
pudep.ee to an extreme hitherto unknown
The United States cannot wash her hands
any too clean of him, or too soon.
PfCRSOXAL AftD OTHERWISE!..
The municipal campaign la waxing warm
anu Juicy at Indianapolis. Voters are be
ginning to see airships and things.
A government expert reports finding
tracks of mammoths in northern Alaska
Evidently the senatorial explorers biased
a conspicuous trail.
Secretary Shaw has let go the' $5,000,000
appropriated for the St. Louis exposition
If there Is anything at the end of tha bridge
the secretary wants he can have It for the
asking.
The fact that Uncle Bam squatted on
few stray islands in the Pacific ocean
stirred the envy of professional grabbers,
People who live in glass houses are prone
to heave rocks.
Oovernment by Injunction receives a fresh
boost In Tennessee. A barking dog has been
enjoined from baying tha moon. The pns
slbllltles of the judicial ukase surpass the
dreams of human gaiety.
The regeneration of Kentucky is progress
Ing. An eminent Blue Grass cltlsen has
sheared his hair for the first time In fifty
years. Now If he will put the shears to
the moss, hope will take on new wings.
To those who follow tha operations of
battling basouks In Asia Minor there comes
a pang of sorrow because the Akhoond Of
Swat lit no more. If he- were living the
Imploua caitiffs would lie swatted good and
plenty.
Big Bill Devery, aspirant for mayor of
New York, projects himself Into the circle
of divinities rrotted by Coal Baron Baer.
Replying to Uie query, "Where did you get
the motisy?" Big Bill humbly says: "The
.liord has been good to me."
The sultan of Sulu has quit the land of
his fathers and, foraaken Unci Bam s pen
sion of $100 a month Mex. 'He has given an
order for a new clout and a picture hat
and will appear presently as a comic opera
potentate. Ktrum Is tha real thing.
It Is announced that the American heir
ess recently financed to British duke will
settle $4,000,000 on him as an evidence of
good faith. The talent shown by frayed
aristocracy In annexing American dollars
discredits the aasertlon that brain power Is
donclant in tha "tight little Isle."
Four of the principal brewers In Philadel
phia are on trial, charged with using chem
icals Instead of malt and hops In their
brew. It appears from the testimony that
the brand on the keg and the ribbon on the
bottle affords the booser no guaranty
against achea on tha morning after.
A nervy American with a rabbit's foot In
his vest pocket states In a London paper
that he discovered fourteen good-slsed rat
tlesnakea near Blarney castle, where St.
Patrick's ban Is supposed to be effective.
That's nothing. Btrangers who dally with
Kerry poteen can see things at sny hour of
the day or night.
A pilgrim from St. Louis, puffed up by
fair prospects, writes from London to the
folks at home that he outshines royalty
where royalty blooms. Listen to his spiel:
The Blank Is the It' hotel here, aiid that's
where I run my fist acwss the register.
Kothin' but the best for the Judge, you
know. The. first night In tbs lobby that
stone of mine made a hit. I had her cleaned
up good before I left and she showed up like
an aro light. A lot of these swell guys In
spade-tall coats got around me, and one
of them had the nerve to ask me If It was
a pkonle. and whea I told bttn what tt Boat
ha like to fell dead." '
BECILAR SHOTS AT THE ri l.PIT.
Louisville Courier-Journal: It IS a waste
of the flat to hit Sam Jones In the mouth.
Better try a shovel of lime.
BL Louis Globe-Democrat: A New York
minister has found scriptural sanction of
yacht races. Does he mean to Insinuate
that Llpton Is a Jonah? i
Washington Post: The preachers are re
turning from their vacationa to find Patan
Improving the advantages offered by his
handicap and hitting a Lou Dillon pace.
Chicago Times: Tha writer of Eccle-
slastes says, "Be not rash with thy
mouth." That counsel la for ministers as
well aa for laymen. Most ministers heed
It, but a few are Intemperate In snvech
and criminally reckless In assertion. , They
Imitate the objectionable Individuate who
say that all preachers are wicked because
a few go astray. ,
Indianapolis Journal: While aome Meth
odist ministers know beforehand where
they are to be assigned by tha bishops.
the moat ot them remain In uncertainty
until the appointments are read, which
suggests that the reverend brethren must
know exactly what are tha sensations ot
wicked man who haa bought a lottery
ticket and Is waiting for the drawing.
Saturday Evening Post: The new pope
begins with reforms worthy of his
democratio birth and beliefs, but none the
less remarkable. He is maklne a bold
stand for less ceremony, less personal red
tape, more simplicity and naturalness. This
bespsaka a man both strong and free from
vanity. For, while ceremony la the weak
fellow's way of englamourtng himself, many
undoubtedly strong men have had a passion
for It and not wholly for the reason that
it "awes the crowd'' and makes the task
of ruling easier. But the fact remains
that if a man be entirely great, whether
In mind or In character, the more ha shows
himself In simplicity the stronger his hold
and the greater his renown. And If little
men did but know and have the courage of
thalr knowledge', they could make them
selves look vastly less little by Imitating
the great virtue of almpliclty. A dignity
that must be viewed afar to be seen at all
fits Its wearer like the lion's skin the ass.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
She-I
am afraid I cannot marry you,
dearest.
His Lordship Oh, why not?
She Parwt would nnver forrtv m
for
being so extravagant. Brooklyn Life.
"What made her falntT"
asked the sym-
pathetic old lady.
Madame." replied the
sotir-fsced mis
ogynist, "there was a good-looking man
standing right behind her." Chicago Rec-
ora-iieraia.
Sh I shall have to refuse you again.
He But this la positively the last time I
shall propose.
8he-Oh, well, that's different. Why didn't
you say so? Detroit Free Press.
Miss Nooele Tou surely haven't decided
to marry Mr. Ootrox? Why, he's old
enough to be your father.
Miss Bnaope l must teg you to remem
ber, also, that I am old enough to decide
to be his wife. Philadelphia Press. .
Just as Bluebeard was dying they saw his
lips move. Bending low, they heard him
murmur: . . .
It serves me right. I should nave waited
DEWEY & STONE FURNITURE CO.
III5-I1I7 FARI1AL1 STREET
f 1 1''!j'' '
A rare opportunity to buy high grade Furniture for
time longer. Moke your selections KOW.
time ioner. "Make your selections NOW. j ;
.ne . w, ,. vnnkcaae $15.W $M.O0 Golden Oak Sideboard V& 00
$:$.0O Mahoganj Bookcase w MahoKany Comb. Bookcase. $-l.00
$18.00 Oak Bookcase (mk tomb. Bookcase i.B.00
$13.80 Oak Bhaving Stand 5 J" &5.00 Mahosany Bookcase i-5.00
la 00 Oak Bhaving Stand W " $ 6 .00 Oak Bed Room Suit $.
i fLk Housi lie " w t'(M) Mahogany Bed Room Suit..! .00
!U'5S 9? K J?J MuhIc Cabinet.. $U.W $") Hrasa Ifd-4xS in. 00
$M.W Mahogany f".'." Jjs.flO Brass Bedx La. 00
ft- .k utrin T b' 6 W tf.OO Iron Bed-4x . . . . v . i ! ! 00
kikS. ytaVid Oak Buffet..." ...Jai.W. $25.00 Mahogany Parlor Cabinet,.!! 80
S.S0.U0 rt,r' 7,,r" (3; . .J-ttiw 113 60 Mahosany Rocker It ISO
IM.00 Mlrror Back china Caee....-ow tether Rocker
$40.00 Mahogany Drcsacr M wm 0flk HaU Tr- 00
,71.00 MahoKan-treaer $:0 (K) MllnOK(iny parlor Table Sift 00
M 00 Oak Ltavenporl .uu , ,B (l0 Maho,iny p.rior Table ....I T SO
$7a.0O Mahogany fMvan ', - fcs.OO Onk Mail Tree It BO
$33.00 Mahogany Divan -o w iher Hall Seat. ........ ,...$!) 00
llS.OOParlor Chair iu0 14-foot Kxtension Table $ 8 00
$45.00 Mahogany Couoh f ' im u.foi, Kxtension Table .i OO
$18.00 Reading .Divan $U-W Jh7.00 8-pc. Ma hog. . Parlor 8ult....$i0.00
$U3.00 Dark Oak Sideboard $uB.0U gjg Mahogany Davenport M OO
If you cannot fintl what you want in this list, there
are. many others to select from.
DEWEY & STONE
1H5-III7 nmim street.
Your Eyes Require Garo
Not the ordinary care but experienced
care. We have been caring for the ee
for many years rtsht here In Omaha. This
valuable experience means much to you
when you need glasses.
UUTESQH OPTICAL CO.,
21 J Sssth Itta Street - ratios Block
RARE BUSINESS CHANCE
$35,000 Will Buy a
Large Retail Store.
Doing a Profitable Business,
ADDRESS, O 45, CARE DEE.
until Chlrae-o and Sioux Falls were estab
lished. Then I wouhl not have been obliged
to kill my wives." Indianapolis Journal.
Teas Pha's not clever at figures at all.
Jeaa Why, she's an expert bookkeeper, ,
I'm told.
Tea Oh, you misunderstand me. I mean
that ahe's had the same figure for year a,
never changing, no matter what tha etyla
might be. 1'h.iladelrhla Press.
He bad risked his life to rescue the fair
maid from a watery grave, and, of course,
her father was duly grateful. .
"Touna- man," he snld, "I can never
thank you sutnclentlv for your herolo act
You Incurred an awful rlek In saving my
only dauahter." .
"None whatever, sir," replied the
teur llfesaver. "I'm already married.
Chicago Newa.
I'M GROWIXO OLD. r
John O. Saxe.
My days pass pleasantly awayi
My nights are blessed with sweetest Sleep!
I feel no symptoms of decay;
I have no cause to mourn or weep.
Mv foes are Impotent and shy:
My friends are neither false nor eold.
And yet, of lete, I often sigh
I'm growing oldl -
My growing tftlk of olden times.
My growing tnirai inr rir nm., t
My growing apathy for rhymes.
My growing love lor easy mwn,
My growing hate of crowds and .noise.
My growing fear of taking cold,. .
All whisper, In the plainest voice,
I'm growing old!
I'm growing fonder of my staff:
I'm growing dimmer In the eyes;
I'm growing fainter in, my laugh;
I'm growing deeper in my sighs;
I'm growing careless of my dress;
l m growing frugal of my gold;
I'm growing wise; I'm growing yes,
I'm growing old!
I see It In my changing taste;
I see If In my changing hair;
I see It In my growing waist;
1 see It in my growing heir.
A thousand sign prrH'lalm the trutn.
As plain as truth was ever tol.l.
That, even In my vaunted youth,
I'm growing old!
Ah. me! My very laurels breathe
The tale in my reluctant ears,
And everv boon the hours beoueatn
But makes me debtor to the years.
E'en Flattery's honeyed words declare
The secret she would fain withhold,
And tells me "How young you are!
I'm growing old!
Thanka for the vears whose rapid flight
I My somber muse too gladly sings:
Thanks for the gleam of golden light
That tints the darkness of their wings ,
Tha light that rteams rrom ou inn
Those heavenly mansions to unfold.
Where all are bleat and none may sigh,
- I'm growing old!
BROWflELL HALL,
OMAHA.
A Boarding and Day Hchool for young
women and girls. Special course requir
ing two years for high school graduates,
also prepares fur any college open
to women. Vaeear, Wellealey, Mt,
Holyoke. Western Heserve University, the
University of Nebraska and the University
of Chicago admit pupils without examina
tion on the certificates of the prlti-lpal and
faculty. Exceptional advantages !n Music,
Art snd Elocution. Well equipped gym
nasium 65 feet by 40 feet. Ample provision
for outdoor sports. Including private skat-
ing grounds. Reopens September 14. Bend
for liluKtrated catalogue. Address the
Principal, Omaha. Neb.
USE
Atitiual
September
Furniture
..Sale..
1,000 More Pieces Added
and Reduced From 25 .
to 50 Per Cent
FURNITURE CO.
Thin aiir
