TIIK F I j I j UST HATE I) 15 10 10 .
Human Foibles
Juno 2, 1001.
in Storied Lines
Joseph Rend tells a funny Htory recently
narrated to lilm by (lovernnr MeCorklo of
V'(;Bt Virginia, reports tin; Columbus (O.)
DlHiiitcli. A colored mini was tolling a
whltu friend about uiiollier negro who
owed him $1! mid absolutely refused to pny
tho debt. Tba creditor dunned und dunned
him, but all to no purpose. Finally tho
creditor went to IiIh whltu friend, who Is
a lawyer, and poured bin talu of woo into
his ear.
"Well," said thi! lawyer, "If he, poKltlvely
refUHed to ptiy you, what reaHon did ho
give?"
"Well, boHn," Bald tho colored man, "bo
Kald ho had owed me dat money fo' ho long
dat do Interest bad dun et It all tip, and he
didn't owe mo n cent."
4,
At a lloMton nmiiHeinent resort tho lec
turer Ih accustomed to wax eloquent over
the graces of a certain fat woman, who
gives many exhibitions a day on n station
n ry bicycle. Onu night there wiih a tenr In
tho speaker's i'yo and a quiver in IiIh volco
tm bo told of mademoiselle's nppcaranco
boforo the crowned heads of Europe
"Yes, there wiih tho prince of Wales'
friend," hn Hobbed, with an emotional wave
of tint hand. "lie saw her loved
her and would have followed her to Amor
lea, but for tho protestations of bis mother,
(J n Victoria."
"Yls," supplemented tho fair object of
the prince's affections. "Yls, ho knnwed a
good thing whin bo scon It." Thoro wasn't
a dry uyo In tho bouso.
A cab driver of tho nlghthnwk species,
who begins- to look for his proy oven be
foro tho sun rocs down, patronizes a little
Italian bootblack named Tony, relates the
Philadelphia Iteeord. Every evening about
15 o'clock ho pulls up In front of Tony'
stand, climbs from bis perch, seats him
self In tho chair and demands a shine.
Tony nlways responds with groat nlacrlty.
but never nets any pay. Still bo seems sat
isfied. "How is It yon shlno bis shoes for
nothing?" asked another customer one
evening, nH the .lehu climbed up to bis sett
and drove off. "Dnt's-a Jeem." replied
Tony, smiling until bis white teeth fairly
gleamed. "Jeem ls-n ma frlen'." "Yes.
bo seems to bo your friend," said the man
In the chair. "You give blin a shine ovory
night, don't you? What lias be ever done
for you?" "Ob. Jeem. ho's-n all right,"
replied Tony. "He's a good-n fel. Ho say
to mo onco: 'Tony, you glvo-a mo n sbino
evra day, an' poine-n time I tak-a you out
an' glvo-a you a ride. How long ngo
waH that?" asked tho customer. "T'ree
year ago," said Tony, still smllllng. "Somo
a time, Jeem, bo tnk-a me out. Jeem, bo's
a gnod-n fel."
fv
There are some singular discounts al
lowed III tho book trade. They were hap
pily Illustrated on one occasion by Mark
Twain. One day while the humorist wns
connected with n publishing house be went
Into a book store and picking up n volume
nsked the price, lie then suggested that
ts a publisher be wns entitled to HO per
cent discount. To this the clerk nssented.
"As I run nlso an nuthor." said Mark, "It
would nppeor that I am ngaln entitled to
HO per cent discount."
Attain the clerk bowed.
"And ns a personal friend of the pro
prietor." he modestly continued. "I pro
suiiie that you will nllow nio the usual 2."
per cent discount."
Another bow from tho salesman.
"Well," drawled the unblushing humorist,
"under these conditions I think I may ns
well take tho book. Wlmt's tho tax?"
The clerk took out IiIh pencil nnd (Inured
Industriously. Then be said with tho groat
rst obsequiousness:
"As near as I can calculate wo owe you
ill. .Ejfii
LaVraflat
aBBaaaaaaaaaaaaaauBiBaaaaaaam W
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaV r ffe
BBBBBBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiili
the book and about 37 cents. Call ngaln.'
Tho author of "Life and Sport on the
I'aclfle Slope" cnys that In a'somblnges
whero a little patience and wood humor
temper what Is dlsngrecnblu the people ot
the I'aclfle slope aro at their best.
Once, nt a performance of some play,
several youths were guying the principal
cbnracter, to tho annoyance of everybody
else. Suddenly a man said to them, very
politely:
"That lady on tho stage Is making so
much noise Hint wo cannot henr what you
aro saying. Hut 1 hope we shall have
the pleasure of listening to your criticisms
later, when the act la over." Silence fol
lowed the remark.
At times HomothltiK more forcible Is
needed. A certain woman had one day
been rudely treated by a minor railway
olllelal. Sho was very Indignant, and quite
at a loss for words; but she had a saving
Henno of humor, and turned to a stranger
at her elbow.
"Sir," said she. "will you tell this man
what I think of him?"
The stranger, without betraying the
least excitement, said In a melancholy
drawl :
"Sir, this woman thinks you nre an un
derstrapper, clothed with n little brl t
authority, whose only qualification for the
placo you occupy Is your extraordinary Im
pudence." First American Soldier
(Continued from Fifth Page.)
and designer of the shaft. It is severely
plain, rising 100 feet four Inches fmm the
base, twelvo feet square at the baso and
tapering toward tho top. It Is built of
Kettle river sandstone, of buff color.
Mnu nl II cent I. ii ml iimi pe.
Thero are few more Inspiring views In the
west than wa to be had from tho capstone
beforo the scaffolding was taken down. The
windings of the Missouri could be traced far
up Into South Dakota, and still farther
down, between Iowa and Nebraska. To the
west, ncross the tream, lie the beautiful
plalnB of Dakota county. Neb . westward Is
the city, and beyond this the silver thread
of the nig Sioux, forming the boundary
between Iowa and Dakota; still farther on
lie the beautiful prairies nnd fnrms of
Union county. South Daketa. vlflble for
many miles. To tho east are the great
bluffs of the Iowa side of the river, and to
tho south the broad plains rf the hcUoms
spread out, vlslblo on a clear day as far
away as Onawu, thirty-odd miles away.
In tho circle of vision He something like a
dozen towns nnd villages, besides tho city,
with very gems from tho lnndscnpo of threo
of tho states that were carved out of tho
Louisiana purchase.
Not till ninety yenrs after his burial on
this magnificent bluff wns the Journal
which Sorgennt Floyd kept discovered.
Accidentally It wns found t ! among n
collection of papers In the historical col
lection of tho University of Wisconsin nt
Madison. Floyd kept It from Mny 14 to
August IS, two days boforo his death. His
torically It has llttlo value, save as Its
statements In a lew regards servo to check
those of other historians of tho expedition.
tViliir I'omI In Tl'ltil 1 1 lullll I.
Tho expedition wont on up the river, nnd
coming back two yenrs lator visited the
graves, which bud been purl'iil'lv op 'lie
It wns refilled, tho cedar post remaining.
This wns tho renl monument to Floyd; no
grnnlto column will over servo so woll as It
did. For tho next forty years that cedar
post was traditional; many travelers and
voyagers on tho upper river wrlto of hav
ing It pointed out to them. And perhaps
no better words can bo found, for cnnclud
Ing this little narrative, than those of
George Cntlln, painter, naturalist nnd de
voted friend of tho Indians. In 1832, trnv
cling up the river, be went to the grave and
made skotchos of tho view which nro to
bo found in full editions of tho drawings
and writings. Sitting down by tho grave,
after making the sketches, ho wroto theso
words:
"Whero heaven sheds its purest light nnd
lends Its richest tintsthis round-topped
bluff, whero the foot treads soft nnd light
whoso steep sides and lofty bend reach to
tho skies, overlooking yonder pictured vnlo
of beauty this solitary cedar post, which
tells a talo of grief grief that was keenly
felt, and tenderly, but long since softened
In tho mnrcb of time and lost. Oh, sad and
tear-startlng contemplation! Solo tonnnt
of this stately mound, how solitary thy
habitation! Here heaven wrested from
theo thy ambit Inn. nnd made tbeo sleeping
monarch of this lnnd of silence. Stranger!
Oh, how tho mystic web of sympathy links
my soul to thee and thy nllllctlnnsl I know
theo not, but It wns enough; thy tnlo was
told, and I. a solitary wanderer through thy
lnnd. have stopped to drop familiar tears
upon thy grave. Pardon this gush from n
stranger's eyes, for they aro all tbnt thou
canst have In this strange lnnd, whore
friends nnd dear rotations nro not allowed
to pluck n flower, nnd drop a tear to freshen
WANT ONE OF THESE 1901 BICYCLES
An lioncit rulvrrtlM'incnt. wo nro irtcnnini 10 intronucn tne wonaemu leurn lunuacnn
TuMcta lntu ewry liumr, nnd In onliT til do no o mill iti-xl mftnta and ntv wlUllit? to m,"
nil ill luinu.'omcij, 1 011 mil kii jiuwi inrjiu. wiih mu
tiTti. Ikll ntnl t'1'n.-UT Hrnku nltiu hrd, fur kIIIdk ur mmil-.
Wo linvo ft .'on f'r hnnit dcallnp. nnd tu proro It. cvrry
pemon wlio (k ll fix toxcuof Iiiirn liiwinrhr luMrt- nt a tints
a IOI will Httrnu (Mir IT'Iirruus iinrr ill nun uj-Mtliiiu fliim.
Mm Ijuilirli, IK a anil limkc, vmiii luur n tio.m uimnie iiimcti
T(iiSiKiiliUlioirlvu nlwolutrly fno fur wlllnir onlr rix
tii. IL,t'( u.n.l n ri.tif. nfitfr tfMliiv. nnil rn m nil tlin tJlLlctA
liy mnJl;wli'n wild rid u Hip t iJM and o (HinranUv If you will
I'ntniiljr Willi our olti-r w-o will nnd you with the Tea SiHin,tlio
I Hit. llifrrli'.ntir hIo framo.wltti nCoMter
llraki-. will iK'irlU'iiiiliiMiliiti lyfnv.Hotnrmlicr wo ifunrantoollio
llli-vrlr In Iml iihii iiiimIi Li-ontnlnlnif nil of tlio latiwl Impnitr-
wlii'tiyoucan utt ouo frvo, TlioUNtuda can teiUfy tbat wo do nj wo'trny. Wrlto at oiicoiSudirona IGURA REMEDY CO., Bicycle Dept. El 49 New Haven. Conn.
FREEs
V 5 V J
SUBURBAN ELECHtlC ROADS
Throuchout Enst, Soutli nnd Far West Coun
try is Gridironcd with Eleotrio Tracks.
POOR MAN'S CARRIAGE IN THE COUNTRY
The Street ('urn of (lie City Arc Ciille.l
I lie I'niii' .llim'n Cnrrliiire Xnw 1 1 1 n
Ciirrlnue In to He A vnlliilile
for Ittiriil KeiirMlniM,
Rural life Is fast losing Us Isolation
This electric tige mrnns much for the
farmers and the humble villager. They will
lm within hourly touch of tho nearby nie
tropolls and the bovs w'.ll be Irs? Ine'lnt l
to desert the old homestead for clerkship
In the city. On the other hand, city folk-
can enjoy the purer nlr of the country and
summer suburban homes will spring un
nil over the Interior. Many city folks will
keep permanent res'dences In the coun
try.
Revolution In I'i'oihiiii U'm
Is rapidly being wrought by electric force
The gnrdener and fruit grower has learned
something of Its lulliicnco upen vegetable
life. Tho lay Is not distant when tho plow
nnd the reaper mny be propelled by stored
olectrlc power. Heforo nnntbor de-ado Is
pafsed country residences, barns nnd per
haps country roads will be lighted by thn
touch of the wizard's button.
I'll In In the Kleetric Auc.
Men of tho deepest thought are begin
ning to whisper quietly to each other that
this subtle forco Is the secret of llfo In
both rinltnal and vegetable kingdoms. Doug
las nnd adjacent counties should not delay
the electrical pnrnde. They ought to Join
tho van of the procession.
Trolley Miicn It ii ii F.vt ivliore
In the other states. Nebraska must not
wait. Encouragement should be given to
legitimate propositions for franchises. We
want our own people to lml'nte theso en
terprises, and so far ns practicable to con
trol them hereafter. Nebraska for No
braskans, nnd the west for westerners Is
n good rule. n. TI. Hoblson. president of
tho Hankers Reserve, believes In this doc
trlno nnd ho Is building up the
Hunker Hen-rve l.lfe AMNoelnt Ion.
upon this Idea of home patronage. Wo In
vito eastern capital to build our street nnd
suburban railways and to opernlo our fnc
torlcs, but It Is folly to send to those
eastern capitalists tho money with which
to conduct the enterprises. Tho proper
economic principle upon which wealth U
built Involves savings nnd direct nccumula
Hons. Wo should
Keep All We Ciui of Our Own,
nnd ncnulrc all wo con of others. It Is
nonsense to send nllen enstorn llfo com
pnnles H.COO.ono n year with carto blanche
to keep $1,200,000 to lend back to us at fi
per cent Interest. Wo should rather keop
tho Jl.noo.OOO hero In our midst to bo pro
tected by our stnto authorities and In
vested In our own securities so that tho
Interest ns well as tho principal shall be
part of our resources and not a part of
our liabilities.
Wan 'eil too Men.
Tho Hankers Reserve wants Immediately
100 life Insurance underwriters to go out
nmong tho people to organize tho western
states, Interest Insurers In the best policy
In the Held and to help build up n :fl0.000,
0d0 life company within three years. Write
H. II. Hoblson, president, MiCngtio build
lug. Oninlia. for further particulars in to
lition In territory and terms.
THE
peoeNT -shoe Co
'A BRIGHT HOME MAKES A MERRY
HEART." JOY TRAVELS ALONG WITH
SAPOLIO
TIIK TUXUDO KOH WOMKN (IKOWS
dally In fnvor, and n charming llttlo eon'
model Is photographed hero of dark red recollections of endearments past Stranger,
brondcloth, having n shawl collar and
cuffs of black satin, lined with scarlet
silk. Tho hat worn Is an 1'Alglon of
whlto Cuba bruld, dressed with polka
dotted quills, while tho front brim Is
caught up with n stool capuchon.
ndleu! With streaming eyes I leavo thoo
again, nnd thy fairy land, to peaceful soli
tude. My pencil has faithfully traced thy
beautiful habitation: nnd long shall live In
tho world, nnd familiar, tho nnmo of Floyd's
grnvo." J. C. WKLUVER.
ro WEARER
MAKER
cr.
Inspect them
and seo If you don't tlnd the famous
UICOI3NT SHOES the e,!al of'anToes
sold by others for $5.00 and jn.00. They
come In all styles and leathers. Including
$.'.r.o nn $3.r.n. Wo guarantee a lit when
ordered by mall
Regent Shoe Co,
SIB SOU I II l.vi'H STItHHT.
Send for Illustrated Catalogue,
June Wedding Cakes
ICK CKKA.M, WISH HONKS,
DOVliS, KOSKS, 1-tc.
Wo give special attention to furnishing
everything for weddings, breakfasts and
receptions wo'd like to talk with. you.
W. S. Baldlrff7
lots mill I ."HO Kiirniiiii .Street, Oninliii.
MAifnD You
11 II HI I Ginuint Bargain
IHI1V In a Piano?
bkt hundrxli cf Urrlht Pianos Mturned ttom
ttnttng If prtor.i movlci which tnuil l diipostd ot i one
ctnnol nikka room for them In our tletrnomt. TbtM
pUuot Include Hlluwyi, KnUe, Fiichen, Sterllii4tiJ other
well known mke Meny of thtm csnnol Lw dietlnfuiihed
from new, yet all are offered el an enormous discount from
(irlceinheu new. UjrlhU ae low as 10U. Very eny term
ef payment to reliable -ereone. It would rrohelfy coit alxml
5 for freight to hae one of these pianos shipped to you, New
large site mahogany pianos, with mandolin attachment, I7&,
sent anywhere on easy payments. Wrlto at once for compiM
lll and full artlculars. rou can make a great saving by tec ur
Ing your planu from us. Evtfy piano warranted exactly rep
rented I.VON AIIKAtV.ttt AdamaMt., rbleix
7 World alut HoMh
aBBBBBBaVIBBgagaB
A Sense of
Pleasure
enmm to tli
mouth tliat'H muile
Hwift unil wholp.
nmi) lijr the uxeot
UullclouK
Arnica
Tooth
Soap
1'rexervBTi nnil wlilten tlio tKoth, trnittlimii the
uiiina, HWTOtBiiH tint lirxatli, I initiMii.tU', ror
uitunMiuKi .11. n.i.i.i.tii .. lirilllllivn IHT tfj .
'."( ut nil ilruirvlat. nr liy in all.
II. S I" XtJ A- CO., CIIIOAtiO, IT. S.
No filectric Liuht
is necesHiiry to see through the fact that
tlu constant toll and worry which most
women have to bear is bound to break
them down. They, above all others, should
drink our famous Itltle million liuttlcil
lied' We know it is pure, refiesliliu anil
stimulating to the hoil ami mind
j. . 'vcBaBjaiAajBaBi
- kBaBavBBaBBaBBBB
our 'product Is prized nt the family board
tor Its sparkling nppearanco, appetizing
ttvor and health-promoting quality.
Storz Brewing Company
Telephone 12(50.
.Mm. AVIiinIimv'h MuntliliiK Snii
has been used for over FIFTY YRARS by
JUKUONS of MOTIIKItS for their CHIT..
dhi:n wiui.t: thkthinq, with vim-
VKC'V SUCCKSS. It SOOTHES the CHILD.
SOFTHNS tho GUMS, AM.AYS nil 1'AIN.
CUUBH WIND COI.IC nnd Is tho best rem
edy fur DIAHIUIOHA. Sold by druggists
In every pan of tlio world, lie sura and
ask for .Mrs. WInslow's Soothing Si-rSn!!
and nko no other kind. Twcn ty" We Von' s
RED GROSS
WHISKEY
4 Kts CO00
SS fur
$3
aa
Direct In coriHiimai.
Express chargeo nrenald.
Recommended by
leading physicians.
A pure nnd nutri
tious stimulant for
family use. Sinii
whiskey as we of
fer for $3 cannot
be purchased else
where for $5.00.
Wo ship In plain
packages no
marks to Indicate
contents and If
not perfectly sat
isfactory return nt
our expense and
we will refund
money at once.
References:
First Natioaal
Bunk ot
Omaha or any
Express
Coin puny.
WESTERN
Sole Owners
DISTILLING CO
- - Omaha
3 The Chicago Record
Vi. .V 1 L I I T
ii ui ui mcac ijpe
w..ert In daily use
YOST
If you want a typewriter, why not
come first where you can sea
EVEHY GOOD SORT OF TYPE
WRITER In Its best form?
TYPEWRITER SUPPLIES
ot all kinds for all machines.
TYPEWRITERS RENTED.
TYPEWRITERS REPAIRED.
New Century
The finest catalogue
ever issued is
yours for the asking.
WriteorCall.
United Typewriter and Supply Co.,
1014 Paruam St., Uuiat
BHaii rirrf!tj, j4v&?fSfPfflSililU
I 414-416 South Twelfth Street I j
Te6ojOMAHAEBj J
I TBIAITBEAT31KNT 'ltt:i:.
ne wiu ioneuaauiur uuy in'" v
Internal. Ezterunl or 1 tcli I nif
mmmm run lue ufna Mir t.i"
tuuuro. luitBuimuuporniBnentreiiei. riiuiunvv.
Uerm Jledlral Co., 215 E. 34 Ht., C'lnclnnntl. .