Principal Republican Candidates for
Good Short Stories
Many of tho enjoyments of lifo amy be
considered iib merely negative enjoyments
by contrast, observes tho Youth's Com
panion. l'rof. llnrrlmoro, soroly ngnliiBt IiIh will
and In complinnco with tlio muudnto of his
physician, wont uway from liomu for a ulx
wooUh' vacation.
"Did you havo a good time?" uskod ono
of hlu frluiuls after hla return.
"Splendid," replied tlio professor, "al
though I didn't know It until I camo back.
Tlion I learned that my nearest neighbor
had occupied hla entire tlmo during tho
laHt six weeks In learning piny tho trom
hono." Young llrodhcnd, scion of a woalthy fam
ily, cherished Journalistic ambitions, and,
llko a butiHlblo youth, had resolved to bo
Kin nt tho beginning.
Ho had applied for and obtained a posi
tion as a reporter on a dully paper at a
moderate salary, whero ho was treated pro.
cUoly llko any other reporter, shirking no
asslKiimeut that camo his way and put
ting on no airs on account of his wealth or
social stnndtug.
Ho had not thought It worth whllo. how
ever, to acquaint tho family servants with
tho nuturo of his dally occupation, relates
tho Youth's Companion, and when a fel
low roportor camu to thu house ono day with
a moBBnKo from tho city editor tho llunky In
attendance at tho front door took Ulm
nrouad the house nftd brought htm up to tho
young mau'a room by a back atalrway.
"Why didn't you show Mr. Craig up by
way of the front hall?" domaudod young
Ilrodhcad.
"Ho b only a reporter," whlspored tho but
ler. Imagine tho dignified tlunky'B horror whon
Ills master responded In an audlblo volco:
' i'm only a reporter myself, you donkoy!"
N'lno people out of ton bellovo thut the
initials N. I). In Souator Scott's uamo stand
for Napoleon llonaparto. Mr. Scott denies
tho soft Impeachment. "N. n." ho says,
"stand for Nathan Hay H-a-y Nathan
Hay Scott. Hay is nn old-tlmo Haltlmoro
name," relatos tho Washington Host, "and
comos Into my family through my mother.
And sho, by tho way," adds tho senator,
"was tho most uncompromising democrat
who over lived."
"Then how did you happan to becomo a
republican?"
"I learned my republicanism," was tho
reply, "when I wont Into tho unlo army
during tha civil war."
"I was In Now Orleans a week ago," said
a man who travels, "and went to a neigh
boring city on business. I met tho Judge,
of a circuit court and tho chief of police
of tho town nnd wo talked after dinner.
Wo had a drink or two and then tho talk
turned on guns. Tho Judge reached around
to his hlp-pockol and took out a big six
shooter. Ho showed us how quickly ho
could draw It and expatiated for fully Ilvo
minutes on tho virtues of tho weapon.
When ho wont away I asked tho chlot of
pollco If thoro was no law against carrying
concealed weapons.
" 'Thoro Is, seh,' said he.
" 'Why do you let tho Judge carry one,
then?' I nsked.
"Tho chief looked at mo pityingly.
" 'I do not use tho full powah of the
law, Beh,' ho answered. 'Not with southern
gentlemen, seh. I uso something more
pownhful. I uso discretion ; discretion,
seh.' "
At tho rocent scBslon of tho Goncsoo
Methodist Episcopal conferenco In North
Tonawnndn, N. Y.. reports tho Philadelphia
Record. Her. Dr. James H. Day. chancel
lor of Syracuse university, inndo n speech
of great energy In bohnlf of collegiate edu
cation, lie grouped together t lie Judges ot
tho supromo court, govcrnois of stntes, min
isters of different denominations and otlu r
leading men and said: "All of these ver
college graduates." Then ho turned around
to Hlshop McCabe, who was presiding, and
satd:
"From what Institution were you gradu
ated?" "From Llbby prison," tho bishop
promptly responded.
Tho suddenness nnd fitness of tills reply
from tho "Old Chnplaln" convulsed the
Senator From Nebraska'
conforence. There was round after rouud
of npplauso and much laughter, so that It
wns difficult for Mr. Day to complete his
address.
Frankness of comment Is also ono of
Chinese Minister Wu's points of weakness
or of strength, according to tho circum
stances nnd results. Ono day ho was visited
by a newspaper correspondent, who is per
haps not alone In his profession In regard
ing himself as n great man. Heforo ho
had learned anything whatever from Mr.
Wu, Mr. Wu was plying him with his usual
questions. When tho query as to tho
amount of his weekly stipend was put, tho
correspondent heaved up his chest, stroked
his mustache with prldo nnd prepared lo
astonish the simple celestial.
"Ono hundred nnd fifty dollars a week!"
he exclaimed.
"It Is too much," enmo quick ns a shot
from tho minister's lips; "It Is altogether
too much you are not worth moro than
$23 n week."
Later on, by dint of cross-examlnntlnu
of other nowspnpor men, Mr, Wu lenrned
that his $lB0-a-week visitor had provnrl
catcd to tho extent of about $90 the week.
Tho noxt tlmo this gentleman called nt tho
legation nnd sent his enrd to tho minister,
he wns accorded an audience, but tho first
thing the minister said to him wns:
"You lied to mo about your salary. If
you will He about such a thing ns that
you will llo about anything. I do not trust
you. 1 havo nothing to tell you. I want
to revlso my former estlmato of your
vnluo Instead of being worth $25 a week
you aro not worth nnythlng, sir. Good
dny."
The Uses of Religion
Detroit Journnl: "Politics," observed I.
"is seemingly your religion!"
It was my purposo to bo extremely un
kind. "You nro wrong!" protested tho man.
"I havo a wife and four grown daughters K
and what they would do at Raster had I
no religion savo polities?"
I regretted my linrd words, now. I nsked
him would he forglvo me. lie nnswered
Hint ho would think It over and let mo
know tho first of the week.
Not Reduced to Thut
Chicago Tribune: Mamma -ICsiIur. your
papa writes to im from that delightful
southern resort, Sunimervllle. You nnd I
nro to Join -him there next week.
Khlest Daughter What Is tho nnmo of
tho hotel?
Mamma Tho Market House.
Kldcst Daughter (highly Indlgnnnt)
Then, I shall havo to tell my friends It's
tho Marquotto House! I don't wnnt them
to think you are taking me down there
to try to dispose of mel
