THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ; SUNDAY , JULY 23 , 1899. 13
DROLLERIES OF DONEGAL.
A Series of Irish Folk Stories.
JJy SliUMAS MACMANUS.
Author ot "Through the Turf Smoke , " "The Leadln'Road to Donegal , "
Till" Apprentice Tlilof.
( Copynifflrt , 18 . by S. S. McClure Co. )
It was a Ice long time "when ould Ireland
waa happy and contented , with lavln's and
lanhln's plenty to alt and llttlo to do ; and
vo had our own kings half a dozen of
them In every county and our own parly-
mint , nnd fo had mines of all sorts and
descriptions , both coal and copper nnd silver
and goold and , more- betoken , the guineas
T\cro as common as tenponnics ; and the
farmers had Holds of whato that It was a.
day's Journey to walk over , and the smell
of them was a'most enough to satisfy a hun
gry man , If the llko could be found In the
kingdom -but that would ho onposslble ,
barrln' on a fast tlay , when ( the ould sinners
that they were ! ) they used to schamo It
by Roln' out and snlftherln' up the smell
of the whatc , and flllln' themselves ( the
villains ! ) that way , till their fren'a would
a'moBt have to swccl some of them ( the
bla'guards ) with ropes , for fcnr they'd bust ;
nnd the blight or-tho rot was ntvor known
on the praties nnd they had tattles that big
( the cups , they called them ) that I hocrd
mo Bran'fnther say that ho heerd
his gran'father say that ho hecrd his great-
Kran'fathcr ( I wish him restl ) tellln' him ,
that In the harvest tlmo they often scooped
wan of them out , nnd put to say In It to flsh
for mackerel and more betoken , the say
In them days swarmed with every descrip
tion of flsh that over put a fin In wather ,
nnd the flshonncn never used hook or net ,
but just baled the fishes Into their boats
with an ould bucket. Well , howandlvlr , It
was In them glor'us days of full and plenty
that Billy Began lived as a sort of a cotthar
to the king of Donegal , and Billy had one
BOTH OP THEM AFTER THAT HARE
FOH BARE LIFE.
eon , Jack , that turned out to 'bo ' very handy
llko with his fingers when howanted any
thing that didn't belong to him. Well , that
fared well till Jack grow up to be a stout ,
Btrnppln' , nblo lump of a gorshoon , when
the 'king comes to ould Billy , his father ,
to make complaints on Jack , secln' that ho
wasn't leaving a movcablo thing about his
cnstlo or grounds but bo was hoisting off
wld him.
"Now , Billy Began , " says the king , says
ho , "what Is your son Jack going to turn
Ills hands to ? "
"Why , yer reverence , " says Billy , that
way , iback to him , "throgs , I think he'll
turn his hand to anything you lalvo In his
way. "
"Och ! I know that , " says the king , says
he , "to my own cost , but I mean to say It's
near tlmo you were thlnkln * of glvln' him a
thrade , for the short nnd the long of It Is
that I won't have him about my house or
place longer. I caught him , " says ho , "only
last night thrylng to carry off the besl
mare I have In any stables , Llght-o'-foot
and that , you know , Is high thrayson ; am
ye know that the lightest punishment for
high thrnyson U to bo burned , beheaded
nnd hung- . But I'll pardon him on conditions
that you put him to a thrado at wanst , ant
{ 'hat ' nt the end of three years he'll bo BO
pnrfnct nt the thrado that I can't puzzle
him In any three things I'll put afore him to
do , but If there's any ono of them ho can't
do ho'Il have to suffer his fate for high
thrayson. "
"Why , yer highness * reverence , " says
Billy , "tho tnrms Is mortlal hard , still-
andlver we'll have to do our best , and sure
the best can do no more. But what thrado
will I 'prentlco him to ? "
'Why , as for that , " says the king , says
he , "plalKo yourself , only mind my unpro-
vokablo conditions. "
"Well , " says Billy , says he , In a brown
study that way , "I think the only thrado
that over I could make an honest thradcs
man out of him at would too a thief , for
think It's the only ono ho has the Incllna
tlon for. "
"Plalso yersclf , Billy , " says the king back
to him again ; "only nilnd my conditions. '
Well , to make a Ions story short , Billy
thrnmpcil off and found Jack and tould hln
what the king of the castle was nfthc
saying.
"Well , father , " nays Jnck , says he , "wb.iv
can't bo cured must bo endured , so you' <
foetthor bo up ibetlmcs In the mornln' an
come along with mo till wo meet som
dalcent thief that's Tnasther of his thrad
that you'll 'iirentlco me to , for , between
ourselves , I was long swlthcrln' to go an
larn the thrndo properly anyhow , for , though
they say that a self-mado man Is the best
still In this back'ard place ono has to worl
under a great many disadvantages In th
uphill part of the business , so thn
there's often I would have given my ono oy
for a couple of good hints from a purtlclen
In < ho thrado. "
No sooner said than done. Jack nnd hi
father took the road cnrty next'mornln' nm
a weary travel they had of It that day
through a strange country till tor'st nigh
they came to an Inn where there was on
trrtalnmont for man nnd bnsto and fo
boys , too and they put up there that nigh
nnd slept sound , I can tell ye , and , more
o\er , uhon Billy paid the landlord the dam
age next mornln' doesn't my bravo Jai-1
Mole twlce-t aft much back again out nf th
till before ho left. Well , they started thu
morning again and traveled on and on , of n
liot , summer's day , when tor'bt evening wh
did they meet but the mnsthermnn thief o
all that country , and there and then Bill
bound over Jack to him fc * three years , an
ho gave Jack his blewiln' and told htm mak
the most of his opportunities and to alwny
keep before lils cyca the fear of what he'd
meet with from'tho King of Donegal when
ho'd come back If ho wasn't master of his
thrade. Jack promised faithfully that It
wouldn't bo his fault or ho'd know the Ins
and outfl of the business so far as the ould
buffer tliat ho was 'prcntlced to could put
him. Billy then set out for homo again and
there was nothing moro hecrd of me brave
'Jack till the three years was up.
They weren't long In passln' nnd on the
day after the end of the three years Jack
cornea steppln' Into his father's house , and
Dllly , I can tell you , was delighted to BCO
him. Ho hardly know Urn , for ho had
grown to be as flno nnd able lookln * a man
ns you'd meet In the longest day In sum
mer.
mer."Jack , " says his father , says he , throwln'
his arms about him , "linvo yo larncd yer
hrade ? "
"I hope I have , father , " says he.
"Jack , ahaekcy. " bays the father , "you
now what the king has promised If ye'ro
ot able to do the tlirco things ho puts bo-
ere yoV"
"Ycfl , father , " says Jack , "and I'll do
my best to do them and , ns yourself says ,
ure the best can do no moro. "
Well , that evening the father took Jack
p to the castle nnd when the king came out
he toU him this was Jack como home again
filler sarvln' his 'prentlccshlp and ho had
ho thrado back with him.
"Why , Jack , " eays the king , "It's wel-
omo yo arc , In troth , acd mlllo fallthe
; hud , nnd It's fresh nnd bloomln' yo'ro
oookln' what speed did yo como at yer
hrade ? "
"Why , thank yo kindly , yer highness , "
ays Jack , "I can't complain at all ; I
hlnk I done very fairly for my time at
alst , that was my masthcr's opinion , and
IO'B not the worst Judge ; " for , ye see ,
ack was modest nnd didn't care for puffin *
nd blow In' about himself.
"Well , It's well for ye , Jack , " says the
ting back to him. "for the three thrlals
' 11 put afore you ye will no miss , I as-
uro ye. "
"Well , yor reverence , " says Jack , "I'll
eel honored to do what I can for ye.
Would yer hlghncas bo plalscd to let mo
tnow the first , for It's as well to get the
onplcasant business over at wanst ? "
"Tho first thing , Jack , you'll have to do , "
says the king , "Is this : Tomorrow morn-
ng I'll send out a plow and two horses to
) low the tattle field at the back of the
ill ! , and I'll Bend two men with them ,
armed to the teeth ; acd you'll have to steal
ho two horses out of the plow unknowns !
o the men , and If yo let tomorrow night
all on ye without having the horses stolen
you'll undhergo the punishment ifor high
hrayson you'll bo burned , beheaded and
lung ; and this time tomorrow I hope to bo
'easting with my eyes on your head stuck
on the porch of that gate thoro. Do you
think will yo bo nblo to succeed , Jack ? "
says he , laughing hard.
"Why , yer tilghness , " says Jack , ' 'sure I'll
do my best , and the best tan do no more. "
Jack and his father went home , the father
very down-hearted entirely , sceln' that there
(
didn't seem to bo any chance for poor Jack
at all , and he thought he'd sco him burned ,
jchcadod and hung before his eyes the next
night.
Jack didn't say much , but ho went to bed
and slept sound , llo was up with the lark
next mornln' and away out through the
fleldo. Ho searched the meadows till ho
: amo on a hare nslpep , and , catching it , he
broke ono of Its legs nnd fetched It home
with him. The king sent out the two
lorsea , according _ to his promise , to plow
the tattle field , an'd ho sent with them two
men armed to the teeth , who iiad sthrlct
ordhers that Jack Brogan would attempt to
stale the hoises out of the plow that
day , but they weren't to allow him on
the peril of their lives , but were to shoot
him If he thrled ; and if they allowed him to
stnlo the horses they would bo hung to the
first bush themselves. Well , of course , they
had their eyes about them and plowed and
plowed away till evening , and no sign of
Jack ; so they agreed that Jack had too
much wit to run the risk of gettin' shot ,
that ho had given up the thing 4n despair
THEN HK CLIMBED IN OF THE WINDOW
and had gone- and dhrowned himself. With
that , they BCCS n hnro with a broken leg
coming over the ditch , nnd away llmpln'
across the Held before them. Whlrrool
Both of them thrown down their guns and
swords , nnd nfther that hare , for bare life.
They didn't go far tlU they caught It , but
when they came back the b irses were gone ,
ns clone ns if they had nlvver been there ,
and Jack was half-roads to tbo castle with
them. Ho mot 'tho ' king at the gate and
handed him over his horses.
"Well , Jack , " said the king and I can
tell you bo opened his cjes wide when ho
BCCH Jack map-hill' up to him with the
horses "well , Jack , " saya he , "yo done that' I
cllverly , but them rascals have been too
slack 'with ' yc , nnd I'll take 50 lu hand
myself now. The second th'/iB yc'll have to
do nnd It's no ml s Is X > steal the sheet
that " will bo lindher r/elf and the queen
w be"n v/o are sleeping tomorrow night. I'll
keep my hand on a loaded gun all night , and
the first man cnthcrs my room I'll shoot
3f )
QUALITY TALKS.
A glaij or ( wo of THWTAR
( ells of ITS QUALITY .in a language , of IU own ,
most convincing. ,
Hlglicit Aitirdi al Tr ru-Mlulnlppl and International Eipoiltlon , 1838.
8 * 4 djr i tud rr * li
Illiilrtu * ttftr Uo l.
VAL.BLATZ BREWING CO.MILWAUKEEU.S.A.
OMAHA BRANCH 1412 DOUGLAS STREET.
Telephone 1081.
htm dead , and 4f yo don't succeed In ntalln'
It , yo know that'll happen yc. What do
you think of that , Jack ? "
"Noll , " says Jack , "I'll do my best , and
euro ye know the best can do no more. "
Then the kins went cff to ordhcr out his
eodjers to hang the two men , and away
went Jnck home , and you may be sure his
father was proud to sco htm back safe , but
when Jack tould him the second thrlal , he
got down-hearted again , nnd said he'd
surely lose his boy this time.
Jack said nothln , ' but went to his bed
and slept sound that night again ; and the
next night ho went to the graveyard and dug
up a fresh corp about the same ago as him
self , and taking it home ho dhrcised It In
a shoot of his own clothes nnd started for
the castle In the middle of the night , and
Rcttln1 undher the king's bedroom window
bo hoisted up the corp , and at the name
tlmo throw gravel again the panes.
"What's that ? " says the king , Jumping
up In his bed ; and seeing the head at the
window he fired , and Jack , with that , let
the corp fall ,
"Ha , ha , " says the king , "I was too able
for yo , Jack , my boy ; you're done for at
length , nnd It's yer desarvln' . Now , nuccn , "
says ho to her ladyship , "I'll have to run
out and bury this corp. "
Jack waited until ho snw the king eafc
away with the corp , and then ho climbed
in of the window.
"You weren't long away , king , " says her
ladyship from the bed.
"O , " says Jack , purtcndln' the king's
voice , "I kern back for the sheet to wrap
THEY UPS WITH THEIR GUNS TO SHOOT HIM.
up the corp In an' carry him to the grave
yard. "
And sure enough , she hands It to him to
wrap round the corp , and me ibrave Jack
steps out of the window and away with
him.
It wasn't long afther till the king came
In with his teeth chattherln' , and steps into
bod. l
bod."Where'a
"Where'a the sheet ? " he cried , Jumpln' up
as soon as ho missed It.
"Why , ye amadhauc , " says the queen ,
"didn't yo come back and say you wanted
it to wrap up the corp and carry it to the
graveyard ? "
"O , Jack , Jack ! " says the king , lying back
In his 'bed ' again , "you have thrlcked mo
once more ! But , plalso Providence , that
will .be the last tlmo. "
Next day Jack came to the castle with
the sheet rowled up an' ondher his arm , and
presented It to the king.
"Well , Jack , " says the king , smllln , ' "ye
done mo again , but the third time , yo mind ,
Is the charm. Tomorrow night I'll sleep
with all my clothes , as well as my shoot
of mall , on me , and you're to steal this
Insldo shirt ( showing it to him ) that has
my name written on the Inside breast of It ,
ye persavo , off my back , and leave another
shirt on me In Its place , and I'll have a
loaded gun In every hand all night , and
there'll be a ecnthry at every window in my
house , and two at every door , and my bed
room will bo filled with sodgers ; and It ye
don't succeed yo know what'll happen ye.
Eh , what do you think of that , Jack ? "
"Why , " says Jack , says he , "sure I'll dome
mo best , and the best , ye know , can do no
more. "
Now Jack's father was Jumpln' out of his
skin with delight when he found that Jack
stole the sheet , but when Jack come home
this night on' tould his father that he had
to steal the Insldo shirt , with the king's
name on the Insldo of the breast , off the
king's back and leave another In Its place
unknownst to him , while ho slept with all
his clothes aswell as a shoot of mall on
him , and a loaded gun in every hand , and
with n sonthry at every window , and two at
every door , and the room full of sodgers ,
falx Jack's father's heart gave way again
entirely and he said that Jack was as good
as lost to him now , anyhow.
Jack said nothing , but went to bed and
slept sounder now than ever he did , and
getting up betimes In the mornln' ho went
to a tailyer and got him to make ft shirt of
the same description , and of the very same
cloth as the king's Insldo shirt , and ho got
the tallycr to prent something In the In
sldo of the breast of It but what It was
we'll not say now. In the middle of the
night ho rowled up the shirt , and , button
ing It up Inside his coat , ho stharted for
the castle. When the senthrles scon him
coraln' they ups with their guns to shoot
him , when ho shouted out not to mind , for
that ho was comln' to give himself up , seeln'
that It was no use In his endayvourln' to
do what was onposslblo to bo done. So they
got 'round him , and , tnkln' . him Into the
castle , they fetched him to the king's bed
room , where the y wakened the king and
told him that Jack had give In at last and
couldn't do it.
"Why , Jack , " said the king , laughln'
hearty , "I knew I would be ono too many
for yo. Order up the hangman at once till
we get through with this buslncfs , "
"O , alsy , yer reverence , " bald Jack , "alsy ,
yer reverence , sure this was nothln' but a
joke cf me. I have the shirt already stolen
off yer back and another In Its place. "
The king swore this was onposslble nnd
the sodjers till a man swore the name , but
king , knowln' Jack was so able , thought It
betther not 4o shout till he was out of the
wood , so he pulled off him till ho reached
the shirt.
"Thero It IH yet. Jack , ye see , " ea > B he.
"Is that It ? " says Jack. "Is yer name
In it ? "
"To bo sure It Is , " says the king , readln1
it.
"Show me , " says Jack , and turnln' round
to the light to read the name , purtendln' ,
he slips it undhcr hit , coat In the wlnkln *
cf a midge's eye , and whlp out the other
ehlrt , "Ay , sure enough , " says Jack ,
1'anilln' back his own , "that's It all right.
So i suppose you may as well get up the
hangman and let us finish off the 'business
at oncet "
"Sartlnly , Jack , " says the king , gettin'
'
himself Into the shirt and clothes again ,
"sartlnly , delays Is dangerous. " .
But , lo and behould you ! when the hang
man wa& got and everything % SRN srppared ,
the king asked Jack If he bad anything to
eay before ho'd die.
"Why , yes , yer highness , " says Jack , "I
have a trlflln' WPC word to say. "
" An1 what is It ? " says the king , ' 'Out
with It , man , and don't be backward about
It. "
"Why , " zay Jack , pullln' out the klng'a
shirt from undher his coat , It's only this
there's yer shirt , stolen off yer back , al
though yo slept In yer clothes and n shoot
ot mall , nnd with a sonthry at Iverjr win
dow , and two nt Ivory door , and yer bed
room filled with sodjcra , and I have left
another shirt on yer back. " I
Tbo king looked nt the shirt and read his j
name on It , and , turnln' nine colors at
wanst , he peeled oil htm again , and tnkln'
off his Insldo shirt bo read on the Insldo
ot the breast of U :
SouUl again , ould brlckl
Thl Is my third trick
rriio shirt taken off yer back
By ' '
Maslcr-Thlcf Jnck.
The king was thundhcr-struck , and no
wondherl Ho ups and ho says at wanst ,
just as soon as ho got his senses gathered :
"Jack , " says he , "you must lave my
dominions , for I'm not sure but yo might
state the very teeth out ot my head , If yo
only took the notion. I'm sorry , Indeed ,
Jack , but go yo must. At the same tlmo
I'll threat ye dalcent yc'lf have as much
gold with yo as yer pockets can hould. "
"Thank yo for nothln' , " says Jack back to
him , "for I could have that Jt yer highness
was to put U undher nil the locks In the i
kingdom. But 1 have one rcqulst to ask yo
nfore I go. "
"Name It , Jack , " says the king.
"Will yo see that me ould father nlvlr
wants for anything whllo ho lives ? " ,
"Troth , I will that , Jack , for I'll take him
up to the castfo to live along with myself ;
he'll get altln' and dhrlnkln' of the best ;
he'll not bo asked to do a hand's turn of
work , and he'll be as happy ns the day Is
long. "
Jnck thanked the king hearty , and set out
on his thravels. He went back to the coun
try ho was 'prentlced in , nnd as his ould
masther had Just died , Jack was appointed
masther-man-thlef of that whole counthry ,
and lived happy and well Ivlr afther.
JIM'S PA.
Somervlllo Journal.
My pa's an awful busy manl
He often > tell3 us so.
lie's alwaya "hustling 'round , " he says ,
And always "on the go ! "
If ma iias something she wants done ,
And asks .for . hl | > from ( him ,
He alwnys says : "I ain't gx > t time I
don't you call on Jim ? "
Now Jim , that's me , and that is why
I sort of envy pa.
He doesn't seem to work one-half
So hard as mo and ana.
I notice he has lots elf tlmo
For things he wants to do ,
'N I rather think he's playing It
On ma and me. Don't you ?
PIIATTW3 OF THE YOUNGSTERS.
"Tommy , I hear you were shot full of
powder cralns on the Fourth. "
"I don' care ! I'm th' only boy In th'
block wot's got blue freckles ! "
"Tommy , your uncle John found a little
boy baby on his doorstep this morning and
he Is going to adopt him , " said a mother
to her G-year-old son.
"Then Uncle John will bo the kid's step
father , won't he , mamma ? " queried the little
fellow.
"Did any ono call while I was out , Willie ? "
asked a mother of her small son.
"Yes ; ono man , " answered Willie.
"Was ho .young or old ? " inquired the
mother.
"Well , he looked old In the face , but I
guess he was awfully young , 'cause ho didn't
have no hair on his head , " was the reply.
"Papa , " asked Willie , "has Mr. Jiggers
over crossed the ocean ? "
"Never , " replied the old gentleman.
"Well , how did 'he ' get back ? "
t
DUG UP A FRESH CORPSE ABOUT THE
, SAME SIZE AS HIMSELF.
"Get backi What do you mean ? "
"Why , twice I've heard you say you'd
seen him half seas over , "
"It doesn't pay to bo good , " said a llttlo
Zebldco boy.
' "Why. Willie , I'm shocked , " eald his
mother. "Whatever put that idea Into your
head ? "
j "Pa "
"What do you mean ? "
"You know he whipped mo for going In
swimming last Sunday afternoon. "
"Yes ; I remember It. "
"Well , that very morning he preached a
sermon about cleanliness being next to
godliness , "
oIT ; or Tin ; OIIIH.VAIIV.
There arc celluloid beds.
Paris has 17.765 physicians. * '
Finland has women sailors. " " *
America has 4.000 millionaires.
Paris' boasts a glaui pavement ,
Berlin possesses a $2,000 watch.
Germany contains thirty-seven banks ,
It la estimated that about 400,000 acre * of
' - to our patrons -
For Monday Only
White Pique and Denim Skirts , | nicely finished , formerly
sold at $1,50 Monday 50 cents.
Golf Skirts
A large assortment in different colors , of the finest material
and cut and fit guaranteed.
Linen Suits
_ _
> * tk
35 A few Linen Suits that formerly sold for $7.00 and $8.00 ,
X
go in this sale at $3,50 ,
Man Tailored Suits
in homespun , coverts , Venetians , broad
cloth and cheviots , in grey , tan , brown ,
$ lum , and black , at reduced prices.
321 South Fifteenth Street.
Between Farnam and Harney , Telephone 2288.
nnd In the United States are planted with
Incs.
John Bull uses 1,700,000,000 matches an-
uallv.
It Is eald that some of the sheep farms
n Australia are as largo as the whola of
Ingland.
Belgium exports 2,200,000 dressed rabbits
. early to England. They weigh from six to
eight pounds apleco and the rabbit crop sells
'or $1,170,000 on the average.
The sword presented by the city of Lon-
Ion to Admiral Colllngwood , second in com.
mand at Trafalgar , has been sold by auction
'or $1,100 , which Is far less than It cost.
There Is a family of seven big brothers ,
iorn in Kentucky , and nearly all llvlns in
that state , whcso average weight , with that
of their father , is 207 pounds. They claim
o bo the biggest family in the state.
The Illinois Central is constructing a
'relght car yard at New Orleans which will
iavo twenty-eight miles of tracks and will
lold 3,600 cars. The yard Is being so ar
ranged that cars can be distributed from the
receiving point to any other point by grav
ity. This will save an immense expense for
switching cars in.
Is is estimated that the consumption of
Doer In the entire world amounts to $1,050-
)00,000 ) per annum. This seems to bo an
almost Incredible figure , but does not ap
pear so strange when it is considered that
the beer which is consumed throughout the
world in a single year would make a lake
three and three-quarters miles long , a mile
wide and six feet deep.
The supreme court of Massachusetts has
sustained the action of a lower court In
awarding $10,000 to a little girl against the
Boston Ice company for the loss of ono of
licr feet ns the result of a cake of Ice falling
upon it from a cart as she was crossing a
btrcet in company with her B-year-old sis
ter , 'the Injured child at the tlmo lacking
two months of being 3 years old.
U is not generally understood that the
United States employs anthracite coal for
heating and electric lighting purposes In the
great State. War nnd Navy departments in
Washington. And this is done sol.oly to
avoid the smoke nuisance. The Unltod
States Treasury department , on the con
trary , uses bituminous coal , with the re
sult that a steady stream of smoke pours
from the furnaces of that building , to the
detriment of the landscape nnd to tbo inJury -
Jury of all surrounding property.
The schooner Polly , now lying In the port
of Bangor , Me. , sound and bcaworthy in
every way , is said to bo the oldest American
vessel In existence which Is still sailing. It
was built at Amcsbury , Mass. , in 1SOS , and
has bad an adventurous career. During the
war of 1812 it was a privateer and captured
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captured once Itself , but was retaken. Its
log Is now preserved In the Portland custom
house , and Its present commander , Captain
McFarland. savs it Is bettor reading than
any of tbo war books , U Is a vessel of forty-
flve tons , and is now engaged in the coastIng -
Ing trade.
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It rearhes Hit tore tpots It hralt the raw
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VAN VL.ECIC . MINTEU CO ,
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Gentlemen . I cheerfully ropljr tor
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Omaha , Neb. , Suite 101 Bee Building.
VLECK-MINTER CO.nAa ° de
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The Bee Publishing Company ,
jjj ! OMAHA , NEB.