Joe ! CHandler
( Copyright. 1599. by Joct Chandler Harris. )
PAHT MI.
The Storr of Sir. Conn.
Aaron trailed when the children told him
bow Mr. Bobs could set a crow to catch a
crow , lie nald the same plan had been
practiced for many long years. Ho had
heard his father. Hen All , tell about It. In
deed , the probability Is that out of this
practice the saying , "Set a thief to catch a
thief.1 had arisen , for nobody could trust
n thief to catch a thief unless the first thief
was securely fastened.
But Aaron , on his side , had somctthlng
quit * RB Interesting to ten the children.
From a negro whom he knew be had bought
a raocoon , a genuine , full-blooded raccoon.
Thli was news. Indeed , and so exciting In Its
character that Aaron was compelled to
answer , or to parry , volley after volley of
question * .
" 0 , how old Is It , and what does It look
like ? " cried Sweetest Susan.
"And * ho Is It to belong to , and Is It
tame , so tame that you can put your band
on If" asked Buster John.
"Why didn't dcy Kill It an' cook It ? "
inquired Drusilla.
Aaron put his fingers In bis ears. He
couldn't answer all the questions put to
Mm. rlnaUy there -was a lull in the ex
citement.
"What did you give for him ? " Buster John
sked after a pause.
"Something , " replied Aaron , smiling.
"But how much ? "
"Enough. "
"Shucks , " cried Buster John ; "If I had
known there wag some great secret about it
I shouldn't have asked. "
Aaron pinched the iboy's ears gently and
paid : "Come ! " He went to his cabin , the
children following , and when they went in
the fimt thing they saw was Mr. Coon , pac
ing back and forth the length of the Email ,
etecl chain which held him. He paused and
regarded them curiously , twisting the end
, y of his sharp nose about , and mechanically
feeling in the cracks of the floor tslth his
forepans.nhlch seemed to be as supple and
c * useful as a boy's hands.
When Buster John i\cnt nearer. Mr. Coon
raised himself on bis hind legs and ut-
I JUMPED ON HIS HEAD.
tered a cry almost identical with the scream
of a roowter when a bird suddenly flics over
or a hawk appears In sight. Buster John
knew It was a warning , and so he stopped.
"What Is the trouble , Frog-Eater Tad-
jiole-Catcher ? " the Son of Ben All sharply
Inquired.
"You can't fool me. " snarled Mr. Coon.
"I've seen creatures like him before. They
poked my sides with sticks and pulled my
tall. "
"But this one Is different , Bug-Eater , "
eald Aaron.
" 0 , call me what you please. Son of Ben
All I was glad to come < wlth you , but I
didn't Invite mj-solf here , did I ? If you
were hungry and thirsty and tied fast and
faw coming toward you one of the creatures
that had made misery for j-ou , 'would you
gnn and .say , 'Welcome , friend ? ' "
"Likely not , " replied Aaron. "But you
t-ave 'been fed , Frog-Eater. You said you
r-art enough. "
"Enough of the kind. Son of Ben All ; yes ,
and too much. If you want mo to cat corn
pot some that Is soft on the cob and Juicy.
It jou want me to be nice fetch me a couple
of j-oung chickens or a handful of black
beetles. " Sweetest Susan shivered.
"Well , Tadpole-Catcher. " said Aaron , "If
you want good things to cat go with these
friends. They have been touched. They
know everj thing you say , and when you are
hungry or thirsty you have only to give the
sign. "
At this Mr. Coon paced back and forth
\rry rapidly. This was the way he thowed
his Impatience. He wan anxious to go with
them. Aaron unfastened the chain and
placed one end In Buster John's hand. The
joungsterheld \eryglngerlyand was In
clined to "brink when Mr. Coon came too
clopo , but he soon got over that feeling , and
FO did Sweetest Susan and Drusilla ; so that
fn a little nhlle they were more familiar
with Mr Coon than they had ever been with
anj of their pets.
Thry lojit no time In giving hJm his din
ner , which consisted of chicken beads and
giblets Mr. Coon smacked his mouth over
them , and when he had finished declared
that he felt better than he had for many a
day. and remarked-
"Eg liblum gig loblum og Iggle' " which
literally translated mcaru * . "Big dinner ,
bigger bed. " Freely Interpreted , It means :
"If I continue to get such fine fare , I'll
have to get my clothes made larger. "
U may interest readers who are no longer
young to know that In the language of
animals ( ho root word lablam stands for
thing * , and its variations , liblum , loblum ,
lebllm , llblom , etc. , mean the thing at hand ,
or. to be more exact , tbe thing under the
nose the thing talked about.
U U a pity that Joe MaxwclT , who is re
sponsible for these dry details , did not take I
the trouble to write the language down |
from Buster John's recipe. But be put U <
off from day to day , and now there Is noth
ing left but the rough notes of these stories ,
and some scattered fragments of explana
tion , one of which Is presented above.
Well ( to shoo all this away ) , Mr. Coon
was highly delighted with bis dinner , and
was ready to curl up and take a nap , or
was willing to Join the chlfdren In a frolic.
So they led him Into their play room In the
attic , unsnappcd the chain from his collar
and gave him the freedom of the wide
space.
First , Mr. Coon must poke his nose or
his forcpawB Into everything. He paced
round and round the room , smelling at or
feeding In every nook and cranny. When
he was satisfied with his Inspection , noth
ing would do but he must feel In Buster
John's pocket. He pulled out marbles ,
nails , fragments of chlnaware , which the
youngster used In place of money. With a
few fragments of fine chlnaware In his
pocket Buster John always fert rich. With
this form of currency he had bought whole
droves of ponies and large arsenals of guns
pistols , swords and war cannon from Imag
inary vendors.
Piece by piece Mr. Coon brought Buster
John's treasures to light and examined them
carcfullj- . The children noticed that Mr.
Coon's forepaws were very much like tiny
hands , and that his hind feet made tracks
In the sand that looked like those of a wee
babjOf course , It was Sweetest Susan who
made this discovery. Whenever Mr. Coon
left the prints of his feet visible one could
almost Imagine that some small goblin in
human shape had passed that way going on
nil fours. Almost ! Why. Sweetest Susan
did imagine It was sure of it , indeed
whenever she was in Make Believe land ,
where she lived most of the time. Surely
It could not be more wonderful than the
country next door to the world , where old
Mr. Rabbit and Mrs. Meadows and the
looklng-slas * children had their abode.
1'or a few days Mr Coon feasted and then
the children thought he should 'begin to pay
for his board ; first , by giving an account
of himself , and next in any other way that
might be devised. So far as Mr. Coon was
concerned he was perfectly -willing to ac
commodate the children. He was never bad-
tempered unless he saw p. cat or dog and
such of these as were about the house and
yard soon learned to give him a wide berth ,
for his claws and teeth > were sharp and he
was a born fighter.
In Joe Maxwell's rough notes Mr. Coon
began thus :
"If I had to tell my tale from tbe talk-
think , as you talk your talk , I'd talk no
talk of this thing. " As this would be hard
to follow It has been rendered Into a free
translation from first to last.
"It I had to learn my language out of
books , as you do yours , " said Mr. Coon ,
leaning back In a corner of the play room
and rubbing his face and nose with both
hands. "I wouldn't have much to say about
myself , for I wouldn't know how to say It.
My home was In the hollow limb of a tree
and I can remember how nice it was to
sleep In that soft , warm place. There were
four others besides me and -n-e used to
sleep close together till our mammy came
home. We were alwaj-s awake when she
came , for we could hear her climbing the
tree , and then. If it was not raining , she'd
sit on. the outelde and dry her feet and
clothes with her tongue. Sometimes we'd
get Impatient and begin to cry and once one
of the others -went to the door ; the slap he
got made 1081."I
bothered our mammy any more by going to
the door. But , my ! How hungry and
angrjI used to get while mammy sat out
there cleaning her feet and drying her
clothes. But she always took her own time ,
and then , when she came In. what a
scramble there was for the right teat. Mine
was the middle one. but I always had to
claw and be clawed before I could get it
We were all ravenous and I never did get
as much food as I 'wanted at one time till
I came here. I think our kind are born
hungrj- and kept hungry that we may be
able to escape from those that follow us.
The first thing I really remember was once
when I heard a bird chirping and whistling
right at our very door. I trembled and
shook all over. The others were asleep and
I was glad of It Shaking and trembling , I
crept to the door , and there , right at me ,
was a bird with a long bill , which he was
poking under the bark. Shivering and shak
ing , I Jumped on him , but I came near fallIng -
Ing to the ground. He was stronger than he
seemed to be , and he had claws , too. He
clinched me with these , and beat me over
the head with his wings , but I didn't mind
that. I didn't mind anj-thing. I shook no
longer. I felt my hair rising on my back.
I heard raj-self growl. I didn't know why ,
but I was furious. I crushed the bird In
my teeth until his wings ceased to move :
but I was still angry. I had tasted Hood ; I
had made my first kill. If one of the
others bad come out Just then. I think he
would have been sorry. But they were all
frightened by the noise and were huddled In
the farthest corner. Then , when I was no
longer angry , but proud , I went to the door
'carrjlng ' tbe bird In my teeth. They smelt
tbe blood and rushed at me , and then there
was a fight ! "
"Why , you were fighting your own broth
ers and Bisters ! " said Sweetest Susan ,
sevcrelj- .
"So would you , If j-ou were of my kind. "
replied Mr. Coon. "There was a fight , but
they all got a piece of the bird After that
we were changed. It seemed as If we bad
been asleep all the time , and something had
suddenly awakened us. Then mammy came
home. She sniffed around and smelt the
J blood and saw the feathers. She nosed un-
I der us as we lay and rooted us out of the
i way , but she found nothln' more than feath
ers. 'Well , I declare1' she cried , 'who's
been bringing you a bird ? " "
" 'Is that what you call a bird ? ' asked one
of the others , and when she said it was ,
they all equalled out'O , mammy , mammy !
Fetch us some more ! Mammy , fetch us
'
some more !
"But she kept on asking'Who brougb
thlb one ? Who brought this one ? ' I Bah
nothing , but the others looked in me am
said 1 was tbe one that brought the bird.
" 'Where did jou get It ? ' mammy asked.
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"I told her 1 had grabbed the bird , and
though she said nothing she seemed to be
pleased , and I noticed that she combed my
hair with her tongue a great dear longer
than she ever did before After that , she
began to bring us birds and frogs , and once
* he 'brought ' us a big fish , and that nas
fine. "
"Frogs ! " cried Drusllla. "You hear dat ?
Frogs ! "
"Not the kind that live on land " ex
plained Mr. Coon , making a wry faie "but
the kind that hide on the bank of tbe creek
and Jump In when they hear you coming
You ba\e to take many long and hard les
sons before jou can catch one Fish are
easier to catch. You turn jour baik to the
creek let the tip of your all touch the top
ft * ' : WWrf
" $ " u m
DOGS CAME CHARGING.
of the nater , and move It about and wait. "
"Huh" I see myserf ! " exclaimed Drustlla
resentfully.
"Hush up , " said Buster John ; "he'.s talk
ing about coons. "
"Well , some folks call niggers coons , " r -
plled Drusilla.
"All this time , " Mr. Coon continued , payIng -
Ing no attention to the interruption , "you
leave your body turned half around eo you
can see what Is going on In the water. When
the fish shows himself you reach down and
flirt him out on the bank , and In reaching
you have to be quicker than the fish and
fish are mighty quick. But a gnawing
stomach ( dag is lublum ; literally crying-
for-jneat-thing ) makes a quick hand.
"Well , mammy was trying to teach us all
these things , and we were learning very fast.
She took us with her when the sun was low ,
or when It had just gone away , and , though
the light was trying to our eyes , we did very
well. Once mammy heard a dog barking , and
she hurried us home , making us run as hard
as we could. I asked her what the trouble
was , and she said It was the barking of the
dog that scared her , and she told us that
when we were oluer and heard a dog bark
we must hurry home by a roundabout way
and run In the water whenever we could , be
cause dogs had a way of smelling where we
went along and following us wherever we
went , and if they followed us home they'd
sit at the foot of the tree and bark until a
man would come with a sharp cut-thing and
hit the tree until it fell.
"All these things we learned , and a great
many more , but you know what fool things
young things are. "
"I ain't ol' . but I know I ain't no fool , "
interrupted Drusilla.
"O , will you hush ? " cried Buster John.
"You know what fool things joung things
are. " repeated Mr. Coon. "They listen to
what their elders say and think It Is noth
ing but talk. The young thing is always a
smarter thing than the old thing , and some
times he Is too smart. I remember that one
night I slipped away from the others after
mammy had been gone a long time. I was
careful to make no noise on the tree , but
when I reached the ground I felt so happy
that I Jumped in the air and whirled around
for Joy. The air was cool and fresh , the
swamp smelt good and the dark was fine
I could eec everything ever so much better
'than ' I when the big shine-thing Is blazing
o\er the trees.
"So I shook myself and started for the
pond In the swamp. There I caught some
small fish and they tasted ever BO much
better than those mammy brought home
Then I wandered out of the swamp and
went on the hill where the brambles are
hunting for birds and birds' nests. I found
two birds and one nest with tiny eggs In it
and the eggs tasted so nice that I wanted
more , and I went rambling all over the hill
t\er BO far Suddenly I heard a dog bark
The sound of It made me shake and shiver
and I stood listening Presently I heard
the bark again and It was so close at hand
that it sounded like a dreadful roaring "
"I boun' you had ter hump yo'se'f den. "
suggested Drusilla
3Ir Coon , with his ejcs half shut , for he
was sleepy , kept right on the track of bis
narrative.
'A dreadful roaring. I went away from
there as fnst as my legs could carry me
and ran right to the swamp. I could hear
the dog coming , too , and far off I could
hear some one crying out. "
"Thai was the man cheering the dog , "
Buster John explained.
"The dog. " said Mr. Coon , "seemed to
be coming closer and closer , and I began
to run harder than ever. I remembered that
my mammy bad said something about water
and dogs , and I ran straight for the big
pond In the swamp , the Son of Ben All
alno knows where It Is. I slipped Into the
water and swam to the middle , where
there's a stump of an old tree. I had hardly
reached it when the dog came in Bight on
the bank of the pond , and began to whine
and bark. He ran around to see if I had
gone out on the opposite side , and then be
caught sight of me. He Jumped Into the
water with a great splash , and when I saw
him coming fear teemed to leave me. I
climbed upon the stump , and when be came
near I Jumped on his brad and bit him on
the neck with all my might. He went
under , but I turned him looee , and came
to the top and swam round and round. He
came up trying to shake the water from his
ears , and they flapped on the pond like
the wings of a duck that Is trying to rUe
In a hurry Before he got through flapping
I had Jumped on bis head again , and when
be went down I clawed him with my hind
t He tried to cry out. but all he could
do was to make bubbles on the water I
lumped on bis bead twice lifter this , and the
third time he never came up any more. I
went out on the bank shook the water off
uy clothes , and cantered toward home. As j
I wrnt along , frellng > rry proud , I hf rd
the mm callinc hit doc , First he blew a
The Cream
of the Midway
7 in number count 'em 7.
Nothing Shoddy
Nothing Cheap.
lint every thing furnbhed on magnificent \ scale * H
regardless of expense.
MOORISH PALACE. The Cycloratna of tlie
Battle of Missionary Ridge and
The famous battle above the clouds A $50,000 Painting 400 feet long 50 feet wide. This
great conflict made wonderfully realistic by the introduction of Storm und Electrical Effects. * ,
The New Darkness and Dawn Hobson f1"kiMR ! Merrimac
Bigger and better than ever before More An- An interesting episode of our late war with Spain
gels More Devils More Novelties. vividly portrayed Real Boats , Real Water and the real thing.
The Moorish Palace0
Life size figures in wax of famous scenes from passion play The Birth of Our Savior Christ Before
Pilate The Crucifixion 60 other familiar and popular scenes shown true to life.
The Old Plantation. The Warograph.
Everything new this season 50 Southern Darkies The latest and best of moving picture machines ,
representing-slave life before the war Hear them Sing showing in a realistic manner , The Storming Of San Juan
See them dance Attend their Camp Meeting. Hill , Thp Rattln nf Manila Rav , aui > > arlnthe * nc * Philippines from ti c
Paris by Gas Light.
r < JL 3J
These seven concessions -which were the most popular ones on the Midway of last season , have been rebuilt
and refurnished in a more elaborate manner than ever before known at any exposition profiting by our ex
perience of past seasons and taking advantage of all opportunities ( regardless of expense ) results in giving us
the best of everything in the amusement line. '
JS. W. J\lcCOATA BJZ , , Proprietor.
horn. He blew it a long time , and then
called and called , but the dog , being at
the bottom of the mill pond , could make
no answer.
"When I reached home I found mammy
there. She had heard the dog bark and had
made haste to get out of his way. Then ,
finding one of her children missing , she
knew that something had happened or was
going to happen. She was Kure of It. She
heard the dog running , and she knew the
missing joung one would be caught. If he
wasn't caught , she hoped he wouTd be badly
scared , it would ser\e him right for not
obeying the rules she had made.
"Wif-n I got home , you may know I was
tired. Mammy dried my clothes while I
told her what had happened , and she would
hardly believe It , but she could plainly hear
the man calling his dog , first with his voice
and then with his horn. He kept that up
for some time , and , finally , on hie way home ,
ho passed right under our house , calling bis
dog and tooting his horn and I was. the
only onp'of the family that dared-to look
out as he went by.
"Well , I had no more adventures until one
night , having come home myself , I heard a
crowd of dogs barking. The noise they
I CIU'SHED THE BIHD IN MV TEETH.
made grew louder and louder , nnd presently
I heard mammy climbing the tree as hard as
the could She came up so fast that I could
bear pieces of bark fall to the ground. She
was scared nearly to death.
" They are after me , ' she cried , 'and I
didn't have time to take to water" Sure
enough , the dogs came charging through the
Tjushtts , ( howling and panting like mad , and
they gathered around the tree and howled
and barked until the men came up with
torches. I was curious to see what was
going on , though the others were too fright-
tined to mo\e. I came out and sat on the
limb and looked down at thorn. The one
that bad the biggest torch held It behind
him and moved it back and forth behind
him.
" 'There he is , ' he yelled , 'I see his eyes ! "
The man with a cut thing begin to hit the
tree. I never knew what wan going to hap
pen until the tree began to swaj. Then I
could feel It falling. As It fell ] ran down
the tree until I came to one of the largest
limb : , and by the time I had climbed that
the tree hit the ground with a uoh > e that
sounded as the clouds eound when they clap
together and make a big , quick shine. The
limb sbrok so hard that I came near falling
off , but I held on the best I could , and in a
moment I toeard a great nolso of fighting ,
berraming. howling and growling , i was
wild with fear , but I could do nothing. Close
to tbe limb I was clinging to wan a blackman
man holding a torch. The light blinded my ]
eyes and the hot smoke stlflea me. I
thought none had seen me , IHI'I the man '
who was not a black man was standing
apart from tbe others , and when I looked at
him I found he was looking at me.
"I kept looking at him and he at ma
until I was no longer afraid. I had the
feeling that he was a friend ( close to cousin-
thing ) and I wnntrd to go to him. But
bow could I ? It was the Sou of Ben Alt ,
and he said something to the others. But
the thick smoke came In my nose and I
sneezed. The black man jelled , 'Here's an
other ! ' and climbed on the tree He was
about to strike me with the torch , but the
Son of Ben AH said , 'Walt" He came
1 to the limb , stretched out his hand to me
and I touched It with my tongue. 'Come. ' he
said. I Jumped to his shoulder and felt
safe , but when he carried me among the
strange ones , when I saw the dogs nosing
around with blood on their ears and when
I saw my mammy and the others lying there
moving no more , fear came again , and but
for the Son of Ben All's hand and voice I
should have Jumped down Into the middle
of the pack.
"The Son of Ben AH gave me to a friend
to take care of , and though I went hungry
many a time , it was not the fault of the I
black man. Maybe he was hungry himself , I
'
and his wife and children , too But now
I'm here , and if you'll excuse me I'll take a
nap. "
Mr. Coon opened his mouth wide to Rape ,
cuddled down In tbe corner , and was soon
sound asleep.
n YI3M.P.
WrIIr ler' ; tlir Only Olio "Siilrt o Fir
Truly llnrinnnloim.
The most musical the only musical col
lege jell in fact , is that which the Wellcsley
girls have originated.
College yells , as a ntle , are far from
melodious , and it Is a constantly recurring
source of satisfaction to Wellcsley damsels
that their jcir Is the yell musical.
This Is the way of It Tra la la , la , Tra la
la la , Tra la la la , la la la , Wes Lcs Ley
Welles ley.
In contract to this Is the cry of the Uni
versity of North Dakota , which more nearly
in bound and meaning resembles an Indian
war whoop-
"Odz dzo d7l' Rl rl rl ! Hy ah , by
ah1 North Dakota ! "
Williams coirege boys iwent rather far
afield to find a rhyme
"Uah1 Rah' Rah ! Yums , yams , yums'
Will jninu ! "
The West Pointer also shows some In
genuity In this respect :
"Rah ! Rah' Ray' Rah ! Rah' Ray'
West Point' West Point ! Armay ! "
"Rock Chalk Jay Hawk K. U" Is the
cry which d'oes great credit to the ingenuity
of the Unherslty of Kansas boys.
Equally touching Is the yrll which one
hears at the University of Illinois
"Rah hoe rah. Zip boom ah ! Hip zoo.
rah zoo , Jimmy blow your bazoo. IP sldl
ikl U of I. Champaign ! "
I The names of the college colors are in
troduced with the cbccr of the University of
North Carolina :
"Rah" Rah ! Rah ! ! ! White and blue'
Vive la' Vive la N. C. U. "
,
[ Notre Dame university cheer also per
petuates the names of Its colors
"Rah ! Rah ! Rah ! Gold and Blue Rah1
Rah' Rah ! N D U. ' "
The two phortest yells on record are those
I of Hope and Hanover colleges :
"H O P E Rah Rah Hope ! "
"Han , Han. Han O Ver ! "
IMI VTTI.I : OF THI : Yorxoyrnus.
I "Mamma , wliat would jou do If that big
vzse In the parlor should get broken * " said
Tommy.
"I should epank whoever did It , " said
Mrs. Banks , gazing betercly at her little
kon.
kon."Well , then , jou'd better begin to get up
} our muscle , " said Tommy , gleefully , " 'cor
papa's broken it. "
Mother I don't like the looks of that boy
I sawjou playing with on the street today.
You mustn't play with bad little boye , jou
know ! "
Son Oh ! he ain't a bad little boy.
mamma ! He's a good little boy ! He's ben
to the reform school ivo time * and they've
let him out each time on account of good
behavior ! "
Tommy Miss Upjohn , I want to know the
names of the twelve dUcIplrE.
11U Sunday Sihool Ttaiher Certainly ,
Tommy They wer Peter Jamu > , John ,
Andrew , Philip , Thoou . Judia and and I
Of Every Description.
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86 designs in Dining Tables § 4.00 up
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Baker's Premium Collet a , the. BEST ; why not us * it ?
Imported nd Roisttd by BAKER & COMPANY , Minn po ! . Minn.
can find the names of the other * lu a mo-
irent
TommjNo fair lookln' ! I knowed jou
couldn't do it !
"It's too bad , " said little Resale , "that
there Un't another little Peters boj. "
"They have .lx. " said her mother. " 1
should consider that about onougti. "
"Well" wld tbe llitl * girl , "they can all
catb other s clothes k they crou up ,
but tliore Isn't any one to take little John
nie's , aud It secmi kind of wasteful. "
"What Is Dicky pounding his poor bllly-
goat so vlcloubly for ? " '
"Well , Dicky fctepped off the porch a
minute and tbe goat ate up all his flags nnd
tin soldiers "
Tbe better judge jou arc of thamimcna
( he more likely you wllHbe to rhooke Cook's
ImperUF ClumiiagDC Extra Urj.