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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 19, 1899)
THE OM : vii v DATLT BEE : SCXDAT , FETrnrurr in. isnn. AMUSEMENTS. theaterpo rs hare at Ian srwk > ' slt thftt atakM the man t ttK tux oSce window. as well M tB doorkwiper. u her * md in tact everybody connected v.h UK front or ts * UM ter ears their moBry. and OK salt tht brtn tt Joy to the hearts managers of company and thtatrr allfce. "With tfce pwtlMe ezMptten of a ooopJe of evcnlage 4 rlag Uw tan week tVe Iwt t a dav bare rm tb * ta tinwte tb * tr c-owd d slf&tly. wliH * the swtlnw a-udi- earee hate b s jwoportlonatelr larr * . At the va 4erl11e benne where tbc attend ance wwtlly remain * at Bfeovt t&e am fouidfcrd trwaw : k to week. th avdieace * bate lxa eoatlavally Inereaitag la lw. Last -week tke " $ ; of the Cross" dre hre eweptlowllr large houses. wWle the Crst jwrlonwuwe w feefwe a gnod Med audience. West's Minctrete jitayed to Etaod- .IB room aad Walker WliitwiUe did better LosmeM than be ever has at any time dar ing the ehsht years that he but been eom- lig to Oraaisa. Th Lenten Masco nay affect the attend ance BOQ . but la view of the fact that B-jine of the best attractions of the season fp yet to come and maay of them during Lent the cb rch-goer who is an atteadant at the theater tie well and -who always eac- riflre * some amassment or pleasure dories the forty days of sackcloth and arbe : ulll dflabtloF.s clve up almost anything rather than the theater. Among the g-od attraetloac that are yet to come toofore the theatrical reason closes are the De AngtHs Opera company , Sol Smith Russpll , De- Wclf Hojper , JWbert Mantcll. Mma. Modjeska. Nat Gocdwla , John Drew , Rlch- nr3 MftMfleU. The Janus-Kldder-Ward combination and possibly Eugenie Blair in ' "A Lady o QaaMty. " 'Wilson Barrett's rellglouE drama or rather traqedy "The Sl n of the Cress" WIK the theatrical event of th * week Just closed Laccl thealer-gtx-rs had heard hut little of either play or company and Tvcre Beme- nhat Irficktvard stout giving up their dollars to see It until It had been given a trial here. Tic result was that Monday night there was no ru h at the door or crowd ol people clamoring outride to get in to pee the first fTfoiaance , tout each person who did go the first night loft the thsater a walking advertisement for the play and Tu-sdav right there was a. Jam at the door. Its large patronage has 'been a matter of much romancnt and that it drew so largely frora the so-called non-theater-goiag class speaks I for some potent attractirn which it holds. Lnrt week during 1U vislt _ here the "box of.re liae Jnoluded many -who doubtless ta3 neT > r seen the inside cf a theater , many men and "women who carried with them the evidence of a daily straggle for existence. They sought edifliatian and inspiration ia the play and there were lew if any of them that were disappoint . "The Sign of the Or-ss" attracts a very different element frTa the usual play. It is the religious spirit in it tiat brings the people. It ap J peals to the cmoti'nalide of their nature nhlch Cads quick expression in their ap plause after the here is speeches and those In which the virtue -womanhood is ex- tol' d. Every person has a secret desire to go to the theater , no matter about his beliefs or his professira. and anything which will give the smallest opportunity for gratifying this desire is eagerly accepted. As "The Sign ol the Cross" started out with the open en dorsement of the clergy , the opportunity was presented. The management began by inviting the clergymen of the city to see tie play and see for themselves how noble a lessen it taught. The people looking on aa3 hearing the approval of their pastors flacked readllv to the play house , glad ol the -excuse. Of absorbing Interest though this great tragedy Is from a religious or a historical poiat of view , it would not be the success 1 It undoubtedly is If it were not first and abcve all a drama. Whatever one maj ' think of the early Christian martyrs , whether one regards them as heroic saints , enriching the ground with their blood thai the fair flower of Christianity might grow to more perfect maturity , or whether one thinks them merely misguided fanatics , giv ing up their lives foolishly and unnecessa rily the dramatic trutn and power of "Th Sign of the Cross" cannot fail to appeal tc everyone. Christianity is BO latiiaatelj wnven Into the warp and woof of civiliza tion , its influence on the life aad thousb.1 of even the most skeptical unbeliever , is sc unescapable that it Is difficult to consider the play in its purely -dramatic aspects. But this fact , so far detracting from the dra matis power of the tragedy , really en hances it. The knowledge which every au ditor of the play possesses that this religion if which Nero strove to throttle in its cradle afterward grew and throve till it possessed the earth is a powerful ally of the if dramatist. It is conceivable that a Martian comes to earti and listening to iif the play might think It a great tragedy , but 5 hour much more affecting must H be to the children of the earth desceading in a direct line from those human torches that Nero set blazing in the arena ! The fascination of the horrible is one of the elements that rivets the interest in "The Sign of the Cross" just as it does ia "Quo Vadls , " which It strongly resembles , or ibetter. as It does la the great tragedies of Shakespeare. But it is the horrible artistically treated. The boy S-tephanus is put to the rack behind the scenes ; his blood curdling , shrieks of agony are heard aad his limp body is brought forth and laid be fore the footlights. This trenches very closely on but does not overstep the canons of art. We bear , but we do not see the creaking ropes of the engine of torture as it racks the boy's body The ear may feed the Imagination , where the eye would sicken the soul. But these harrowing cruelties and abominations that fill In the sanguinary background are dramatic necessities. Trag edy require * them. And there are compen sating glimpses of the gay frivolity and restless dissipation of pagan Rome to re lieve the strain. Of Charles Dalton , the "Marcus Superbus" and star of the company , as well as the bal ance of its members , it may be interesting to some to know that they are all English and have been in this oouatry only three years. They were rehearsed by Mr. Barrett hlmseW ia England Jar the play ana sent to this country. This Is , perhaps , the reason that they are net better Icnown here Mr , Dalton befare coming to thU country attained considerable ntte In London , where he was leailag man at the Drury Lane tb ater. He HSes Aaawica and intends making It hU home. He has played "Hsmeo , " "BanBanto" aad "Julius Caesar. " and to what he now aspires Indicates the * tef > be will take at some future time , as b * eipre es a preference for "VUrlalus" aad "Ingamar , * * the barbarian- With the ra lie1nK ia&uenee of years he should fill a place ow vacaat on the American Mage , a place eoee He4 by Jean MoCcllough. vban he reaalU ia figure aad action. The ather attraatloni during the week at B yd's included Dan Sully , who Eeems to fee. r ku i termed by theatrical pwijde. a "dead " West's mln&treU , uhich - oa * , and pre- MBtad a musical first part that was ieol- h' t , tat which fell d wa M a MWMMl > art ( . I vtadevHie acts that cn W hardly fee called CBjthlcs tmt bad. The drill UtroiucejJ in this part , haw ever , wac BBC that aaly such a 1 perfoot drmmactar as Mr We * if aaW * tf ceUing out of a ooaapaa.r al sit * . Walker Whiteslde pretested the "Red Cotkade , " hi * new play which deals with French itetrrr. and "Eugene Aram. " Balwsr Littoa' * Rrw tcirjr. Tbe tatter wac mut-h the better play aed Mr. Wblteslde'B efigagen > fit WM jnor * ucc * fu ! in a flaanrial w r the any of Hi prertcw oe * His supportine comp ay WM a fairly good on * . At tb * Orpfccum the Mil WM a < krld a iinjiroTejamt ever that of tse wk before and faralt&cd two boars aad a of very good The Omaha traveling awn's lodge k mak ing great prefmrattoM for He Bftgtlae Mia- .r le and MMwtr BtirJasq * * Vaadrrdle fcbov. which It to be produced under the direction of pref R. K. Love oa Prl4 y crenlns of this week at the old T.-ocsdero theater. The trarfling ; sea bave leM > d the theater fer the evening mod wish it anaonaced that no refreshments of aay kind will be ol ana that the eBtertaiaiwMt will be coaducted last as thooch it were b iag held ID Boyd'e ' or any other high daet theater ia the eoon- i try. The entertainment will be furnished , almoej n holly by local talent , amoag which i Mr. Lcve announces that he has found some I exceptionally clever people. Tommy Get * . I under whose direction the Elks' show was I gUea. is to participate , as well as W. S. 1 Helphrey , George Harvey , C. E. Close , j George Beet , MiM Coartaey aad many oth- I ere. A feature k promised la the country hotel office scene , where traveling men con gregate aad spin yarns , tell Jokes aad sing songs. Omaha audiences are given the credit by theatrical people who come here of being more cold aad less demtnatratlve than la any other city ia the country. This trait is noticeable at both theaters , but particularly at the vaudeville house , where big headline acts that in any other city fairly raise aa audience to Its feet retire after their work with but a scattering bit of hand applau&e. While Omaha audiences may seem frigid they are not unappreciative aad not hard to please. Their approval is given comedy In broad smiles not audible ones and they pi e a difficult test of strength or a serious scene commendation by their most intent attention. You'll never find Omaha audiences talking noisily during the playing of a serious act. i , They rarely ever show their disapproval of a play or vaudeville act by hissing ItIn speaking of Omaha audiences , the balcony ' and lower Cocrs are alone included. The gallery , usually frequented by Irresponsible , ' thoughtless boys and men. Is not taken into ; consideration. i Omaha audiences take the more effective ! ay of showing their disapproval of bad I shows by staying away from a theater until ' they are satisfied that the bill cSered is good rjid it would be well to say here that this city's audiences are most exacting and very emphati : In their demand for their money's worth. The audiences ot the eastern theaters are mercurial in their temperament and willingly - | ingly and blindly follow the lead of some bell wether. Let some one start to hiss a play er an act and in a moment the entire house is with "him. Just reverse this order of things and let some cne start applauding and in an instant the applause is deafening. This is shown by the professional claqueurs many houses employ , the sole duty of these ' pecple being to keep the audience applauding - , ing and accepting things that the majority of them know in their own hearts are inferior , yet they applaud because their neighbor does. does.You You can't work the claquears off on Omaha theater goers. They follow not the blind lead of their neighbor and the old i scheme of having the ushers start the ap- j plause is a dead letter. Performers say that I their first appearance before an Omaha audience - ' ence is fraught with much dread. There is no expression of approval on the sea of faces before them and little or no audible sign of commendation for anything they , do. The actor Icrves the stage feeling as i though he had been a frost. Before he finishes his engagement , however , he has grown to know his auditors and the chances ' | are that he will tell you that he never has ! worked to a more appreciative lot of peo- I pie , who simply take a quiet way of showing - ing their appreciation. Most actors declare , [ however , that If the people here were more 1 demonstrative they would get considerable ' ! mere out of the actors. Nothing makes i performers of aay kind work so hard as unstinted applause. They know then that 1 they are appreciated and only try the harder to repay taelr auditors for tne appreciatioa shown. Coming : Kvent * . "My Friend from India" comes to Boyd's theater for four nights , beginning tonight , and the engagement will Include a Washing ton's birthday matinee Wednesday after noon. It is a farce comedy by H. A. Du Souchetnd comes here in the hande of Smyth & Bice's company of comedians , amzng whom are Charles Bradshaw , George Mack , Charles Mitchell , Lute Vrohmaa , Ernest Warde , Ada Gilman , Margaret Otis , Lauise Arnot and the Strickland sisters. Mabel and Ethel. The piece if everywhere declared to be wholesome , noisy farce , full of real fun and novel and ingenuous dramatic devices. Its story concerns the at tempts of a Ksneas City pork packer to worm his way into New York society through the medium of an alleged Indian mystic , who assumes to deal in occultism. It is a clever take-oft en theoscphy. yet is not calculated to give offense even to devotees of occultism. The mirror snene ia a decided novelty , the funniest piece of stage mechanism Introduced in many years. A locking glass filling one tide of a screen has been broken. A middle- aged siren of coquettish charms does not know of jhe accident , but goes to the mirror to admire herself. A man attired in an exact duplicate of ber own dress , for reasons which fully appear ia the action , has tried to conceal himself behind the screen. He acts on the impulse as the wcman'e refiec- tion. Imitating her motions and facial piny. The consequences are convulsing , but the scene is perfectly appropriate to the wild mockery of the farce and typical of Its many funny situations and incidents. Three European acts that have been given much commendatory notice In the press cf the cities where they have been presented in thJt , ooentry bear prominent places in this week's bill at the Orpheum , which opens this afternoon. The acts are Xivea'E per forming moalxeys , the Arbra troupe ot irusical ncrtbats and the Dartos , Parisian d&acerE. Xlven's monkeys are said to be perfectly trained and to do things that It nould not seem possible for an animal to do. The Abra troupe are said to be equllibristle marvels. They balance head downward oa the icps of billiard cues , twinging wires and slight pedestals and perform all manner of setMBiasly incredible feats. The Dartes are said to have carried Paris and all the European capitals by slcrm , with their danc ing. George Felix and Lydia Barry enact a comedy , "The Vaudeville Crase , " which IE raid to be one of vaudeville's best things in the way cf a chart oomndy. It is quoted as containing a vast lot of lewgh-prodaeias liotw , Eituatioss and eiimaxae. Mathews uad Harris do a sketch , bat az its title iai- pltes "Caught Naj p SE , * ' on entirely dtt- i rant lines treat the leant me-oUoned above. Mr. Mathwe us e a ocraedy makeup that i fwtil to be fie the order aX that unacted by the late Oid Host Boer KeHr aad YtolaU * offer a potp arri e ! rake walking. OMB BtsgiBE aad the like. Frank aad Daa are zceauic ocucedians aad iatreduce a ooaedy twxicc bout that is said to be oust eater- n r.R anse Four iBe brother * flo aa c.glaairtneSy art. Oae of the popular rawaotlc plays &f UM- last ! "Tb * Prtm nr ot e , " wterh wUl be Riven at Bird' * tfeeatvr B Friday od Saturday. F * rwiry ? 4 a d St. Tb * plsy will be lat rprtt 4 by & capable company , ander tbc nmwraneat of Dante ! Fnthman , of th ! * Tork Lyt > e m , at wfcicb tb atr it WM > first produced by B. H. Sethera. naoolnc f r aa evtire rr. Tb * roapuy te said to be BretiaM la CTferr recpcrt. and I * la 11 * lending smBbers emeatlally tfee MO * c bs been * > IB past y ars to tfe pl r Mr. Howard Oomld still phkys R8vadyll and Klnc Rudolph and ha * a * * e a wide reputttlto durlap Ms ) eg ea- tlnnal portrayal of < tb part ; thte Is hie third la the coaiptay. Pin jo nnil Ilnj r . WHlte CoHter vill spoor IB * ! tew farce , "Mr. Smooth. " to April. h 1 * sett t ! - Rodrard Kipilag 1 * writing a play for Bwrb hm Tree. A Mil la the IlHupl * ! gliatur provides for fosia ; theaters oa Sunday. Louis Jssaff' daughter Is a. member of Frohnran'i : "Catherhn1" company. NetbersoJe is to appear in Doda Pest , Vienna. Berlin and St. Petersburg. So * Smith Rntd in "Hon. John Grlgsby" is havinc one of the most successful eeasMis that he has eier kaowa. Joseph Jefferson has entirely recovered his hea3l.h ao d on April 2 will l > epxi a five weeks' mr in "Rip Van Winkle. " R bert Taber , the husbmad of Julia Mar lowe , will Impersonate De Farge in a Loa- lion revival of "A Tale of Two Ottles. " Tie Jefferson De Ancelis Opara company is making a big hit ra the east tvlth the new comic opera , "The Jolly Musketeers. " There are cheaper towns that Omaha. Some people la Brooklyn , N. Y. . are kicking against ? 2 a seat for Mansfield's "Cyrano. " A rumor "was abroad last week that Miss Iflllian Russell was to tfiVe unto herself a fourth husband. She promptly denied the allegation. Lfitt's next production will b "The Club Baby. " In the spring he will bring out a romantic drama wlih Otis Skinner in the leading role. Nei'l Buress of "Widow Bedott" fame , has ratcred oa < the vaudeville circuit in Boston , and is presenting the "Widow" in a twpntty-mlnute sketch. Ellen Terry. Modjeska and Bemhardt. three of the lead'ing tragediennes of she day , are grandmothers , yet youthful parts are not beyond them. 'Frank Daniels is negotiating with Victor Herbert with a view to secure Mr. He.-bm's services in compsini ; a new opera for the comfdian n xt season. DeWolf Hopper played to larger busi ness ia Chicago last week with the "Charl atan , " his new comic cp ra , than he ever has with any of his former successes. Maggie Mitchell has retire : ! from the ftage , but. Is soon to be replaced by her daughter Faachon , who is the wife of J. W. Albaugh , jr. , and the mother of two children. Manager Jake Roseathal , on his 30th birth day last Wednesday , was the recipient of a two-karat diamond scarf pin from the Wal ter Orpheum company. Many other costly presents were receHed by him. The repsrt came to Omaha yesterday mom- ing chit Joseph Hayden , the vaudeville per former , who appeared at a local playhouse last week , died on a train en route to Cali fornia of heart disease. Haydea was the author of that coon Bang that will never die. "There'll Be a Hot Time ia the Old Towa P MUSIC. The musical world locally speaking durmg the last week suffered a s-evere tbocli from the suddea death of Don M. L < eng , oae of the very foremost musiciaas of the city. Mr. Long , or Don Long , as almost every one knew tim , was a very talented musi cian. His ability -was general , and while Ws place in the profession was distinctly that of a pianist ana teacher of the piano , he was also an able critic , a thoroughly good reviewer , a careful analyst , a promis ing and prolific writer , of much ingenuity , originality and resource. The musical people who knew him liked him with a great amount of sincerity. He was thoroughly honest in his opinions , modest of his attainments , and proud only of his profession. He was a man who al ways defended the ethics of his profession when there was an opportunity. But now tie dissonances have been re solved , the curtain has fallen oa his short opera , the piano is silent , the pen is laid aside , the manuscript is incomplete , and all that remains of Don Long is a memory : but , what a memory. Those who heard him as he played the masterpieces of the great composers "in those morning half hours at | a certain public music room -will not forget his tender , poetic aad soulful interpretations of the Chopin nocturnes. The wistful , searching glances of those pale mysterious eyes still haunt his friends. The placid , pale and poetic countenance of the youthful teacher will live in the fond recollection of his pupils and they will re member the qaiet , gentlemanly manner of this disciple of the sacred muse. Don Long wcs aad is not. But his works live. His presence is still felt , although he himself is not here. He has gone to the higher school. He has entered the great unknown academy , where all difficulties are cleared up , where the tangled discords cf this inharmonious life are softened and mcdulatetf. where the traditions of the past are explained by the masters themselves , where Handel , Bach. Beethoven and all the great ones of earth have already gone and are now perchance teaching the younger sons of the faithful -who have tolled here and have earned admission to the higher knowl edge. Gone , not into the darkness , but rather isle the great light ; not into the valley of the shadow of death , but through the valley into the glorious beyond. He knows more now than any of us , for has he not solved the greatest mystery of the future ? "Requie&cat in pace , " To hiB family the musical people of Omaha come with hearts full of sympathy. The j great heart of eternal sympathy ie surely i touched by such scenes as those which were 1 witnessed at the Dnity church last Thursday when Rev. Xewton Mann , overcome himself by the terrific strain of the occasioa. tried ts pour balm upon the wounds -which were only too apparent- Never has there been such sincere , unaffected grief at an Omaha , church as on the occasion mentioned. The , friends of the young artiet who had been called to fulfill higher duties gathered j around the family and with deepest sym pathy showed their devcted wish to be of any comfort or help that fas possible. I The words of Browning come to one's 1 miad with irrasUtibJe Jorce at this juncture : \Vtay etee wa * the pause pralonct-d , but that sing np rnljpat imie thence ? Why rufch U dwcores la , tact thtt harmony : sfeoald W iirtzwd ? i Sorrow U aard to bear , and doubt is fclow to ) ear , Each nS r r MF * his say , his ( .cbttne of tfce w fcl c4 woe. i But God bs a ! = * ot us wboni he whls- pws in tit ar. Tbe rt may raao& . aos w loatae ; 'tie w * iBBsicUaB kaow I . . Qvt ! me tb * > key * . I fbri for the common c-iard astun. Slldtesr bf Mnitaiua. till I rfak to the minor yas , I Aad 1 Uluiu it into a ninth , aa * I Hand i a alltn s > uad. if awbil the twsigfctc I reOnd frn > lute th * deep ; ii-k. bark. I have dared aad daoe. tor my rertis ? plce it found , The C Major at tUe lifr. so , sow 3 via try to stoop. Mar the breeree blw & 0tUr e'er his rest ing plMe. wills : the Han sins hie roqeiem ! THDSIAS J. KELLY. Hies Julia Officer , pitao. Karbaeh block. HUMORS OF SPEECH AND PEN A Rich aai B&cy Oflflcctwa of Aaasiag Blunders. VERBAL BREAKS THAT PROVOKE SMILES Bonntllemi Opporlnnltlf * Afforded tlie Lnnctintc to Th i r Who bat LlKhtlr Skltn It inrfnce. It is alwayt Interesttag , aod lB trucUre , to hetea t the binders la epe h made by others. In tb * clnb or churches , we oftea find the teemntngs of words bepel * * ) y oonfared , of tire words themselves clipped and altered almost oat of all recognition. The English language 5eem,8 to afford boandless opportunities , to those who possess that dangerous gift of a little knowledge , for Itriicrcue interchange and misapplication. Here are a few specimens - mens of uch blunders that have coac within the experience of a writer la the St. Louis Globe-Democrat ; Two old students of politics their name Is legion cane together one morning upon ' the street. Naturally , they were suspicious 1 of the government and exceeding anxious | for the country , like so many or their know- little class. "It's a bad state of affairs , " ' said ahitebeard numtoer one , gloomily. ! "As bad as It can be , " agreed number two , ' with alacrity. The two white heads nodded together ominously. "There must be war , " quoted one. "Ah ! you're right. TVe can i never escape this time , " croaked the other. ' "Let me see , " said number one , working a ! tremulous hand toward his coat-tall pocket ; I "let me see -nhat the dally paper procras- 1 tlnates ! " Somewhat similar is the story narrated by a clergyman. Late one night j he was called out to minister to an old i jjjau -R-orker upon the adjacent railway who was EUppced to lie dying The sum mons was brought ! by another old man , the elder brother of the stricken one. While he was bustling about , making preparations for i departure , the clergyman forgot momentar- I ily the eocial status of his visitor , aad 1 asked : "Is he In extremis ? " The old man ! was not going to be beaten. "Aye , he's right in , your reverence. " After a pause he added a * a clincher , "Clean in , poor I chap ! Richt up to the nerk. sir" Pres- 1 ently the old man went on sadly : "Me aad j brother Bill 'ave worked together the past fifteen year. " "On the railway' " asked the clergyman. "Aye , sir. We've worked all that time on the firmament way. " This reminds ue of tie larce and burly Intii- rifiual who was asked his occupation. "Or- cypation , sir ? Why , to be sure , I be a gorger. " Of course he meant a gauger. "Coom out o' that , " shouted an irate but zealous church warden in a rural district to some urchins who were playing marbles against the church door. "I'll let passoa know aow ye dedicate the holy place. " This word forms a common stumbling- block. A grocer once informed us that people from quite the respectable classes not infrequently asked him for desecrated i BOUp. Lejrnl Sllpx. Lawyers , .as well as doctors and the clergy , frequently have amusing tales to tell. A Canadian barrister is responsible for the following- One day a fanner came into his office and requested tbat a holograph will should 'be prepared for his signature. The lawyer began at once to explain terms , but the tiller of the prairie , who prided himself not a little upon his legal knowledge'only grew angry. "I want a holograph will , " he declared : "and I'm gciag to have it. " he added in parenthesis. When the impossi bility of his request was still pointed out , he angrily stumped from tte office , shout ing out , "D It ! If I can't have holograph will. 111 Warned well ale intestine ! " On the occasion of a visit to his native town by a member of Parliament , one citi zen , who had been prevented from going to listen to the speech in the town hall , asked another who had been present how the dis tinguished man had been reeived. "Did they tbeer him ? " he asked. "Cheer him * " said the other : "I should think they did. Why , they gave him a perfect jobation ! " This man must surely have been related to the long-suffering landlady who was compelled to put up with some very noisy and unruly lodgers , who were accustomed to make the night hideous with their ua- sesmly revelings. Ebe confided her woes to a sympathetic friend : "There's no put ting a stop to it , drat 'em , and I shall be 'aving the police down on my 'ouse soon , I know I shall. It's the same thing every night. As soon as I gets into bed , they're up to all their augeries ! " But as a good example rf a thorough and hopeless perver sion of words , the following would be did- cult tn beat. An illiterate tradesman had recently taken his seat upon the town coun cil. He was an ambitious man In his way , and doubtlees looked forward to the time when he would rise from alderman to mayor , aad thence to the dizzy heights of parlia mentary fame. However , be bided his time and restrained the natural flow of eloquence that he felt so certain he possessed. One day debate ruled high at a meeting of the coun cil , until it finally reached the point which we believe did not create a precedent one a somewhat free exchange of uncomplimentary personal remarks. Durinc a momentary lull our friend felt that the time had come for him to arise aad shine. He did arise , and he did shine , though perhaps not in the manner he intended. "Gentlemen and ladies , " he commenced , aad then checked himself. "I mean , gentlemen. Sometimes I'm on the negatur side. Sometimes I'm on the finnltur side. But tonight I'm wice-wersy " His speech , which at least ac complished the excellent deed of restoring good humor to the meeting , culminated at this early stage , and we believe we are cor rect In saying that the speaker has nut yet been called upon to represent a constituency in Parliament. llrcntm on tlir Stuiaji. "The government have alleviated the con fidence of the country , " shouted a public orator , who had intended to say the exact opposite. When his supporters cried at him , he recognized his error. "Gentlemen , I should have said alienated , " he continued , amid the Jeers of his listeners. "The lens of my camera are too opaque. " complained an amateur photographer. The listener , who sympathized , guessed that he meant oblique. "How the thunder reverlmes' " exclaimed an icncrant man who was given to using locg words. It was the same' individual who wrote to a firm to the effect that he had re ceived are-emptory orders for doing zueh aad such a thine , and asked them to be kind enough to facilitate matters as much as possible. Another man scorned the simple word "ice , " and made himself ridiculous by the use of the phrase "saljfied water" An old countrywoman described her hcsband as "a terrible Irrascll old man. " while h woman. who presumably bad Improved upon a fcrmer poEltion , remarked that her Jiusboad was going to take her and the children to the matins at the theater. A gentleman , calling upon an analyst , was received by the servant with the announcement that "the analyslst was ia hio lavatory. " A cab driver wus etruggliag to find b ward which would express the idea of ntx happeniag at the sarae moment. Tat ward finally eiolvwj was syneliraBpaKmu. vkici Busgtifted Fynonymous , the souad cf which wts probably floating Is his h ad. The word it desired vas. of oaurse. syn chronous. This is a caee of what we might eail a double uosfuttea , but the toHewi&K is a Jtr batter example , A s : ul BJin was IturdeDfd with a very profligate eon. Speak ing to his vlocr eoaceramg him on one ooca- t > * be . * > e > d m * pj'h tirw * as * - * 1 R sh yn. wojtd fptafc to ay i > oc and * e ! yea can inflwnre iittn ia anyway Hr s trotting evt a regular Kraperost" 1 he clersriMa. who * a kttn eryiBolocUt. * " - tar axw * pleased Ilk tke expreMrioa than with the Moaof rvctaimlD * the prodigal The word tatraded mis wijxroit. the jnesnlnt ; of "wliteh tk * rpfaker coaTuwJ with ! > cii e- cr c * tb word > rftxwld ave o1 * He w s Brquatoied with both word * . For proof. tivOtti bow ta r of wapwerw * eaters lr * > tb * aM atag ) s * eifvrtw-Jon of ncrstH'soat. wall no such 1 * if-f axTirs in scapegoat a very curKwR lai'anr * of m-nul Inversion. . Llnenal T l l . i Qntte < ts strange an Ijwtiace of word cooi i fiKHoa owtag 10 derirattoa KM given by aa i Ittll&a gEotlKnan who woe cot very con- | vtrMBt vlth tie Bnpllsh laasraage A friend i called aptm hit boot and xrtira hr had left | the f relgc r e t for sonae tune in srtem-e. cvidtnrtly deep la thought. As Vwigtb be re marked that the gesUeaac who had Just departed wa * a "doggy" mon. He was asked for aa wtpUnation. as tx > association of gcaut homo with genus c&nls U acreptrd j Is thts country as a rompllment. Therc- | uron it transpired that the meaning in- I leaded by the Italian was "tyninal. " He ! hd heard the word uwd in its proper sense j but when he tried to recall it nothing but ' tie derivation oacurred * > his memory i Two men. after a serious quarrel , were I not oa speaking terms. The kindly third party , who Is seldom wanting on such occa sions , eventually brought them together. ' and led off with the words of conciliation , | "I'm here to me-dltate between you" His | mistake was a fortunate one. as the ene- ) mles were BO tickled toy this unconscious use I of the wrong word that they shook hand and j became friends agtia. Lets hippy in x- j pression was a Canadian * oman , who , on being questioned concerning her views upon the subject of fire versus earth for the human body after death , gave utterance to a remarkable sentiment she was rather absentminded sent-minded l > e It said. "Well , you see. one get * buried once In a lifetime ! Cremated' Yes , I taink I should prefer 1t , if there was only a creamery handy. " Creamery we maj observe , is the equivalent in the Dominion for the English dairy. Apropos of this last word , how frt-queatly It is spelled cs diary by some people , and even pronounsed at such In this respect it closely resembles the La'ln word omina. Get several people to read quickly any hexameter line where this word occurs. The chances are that the majoritj will pronounce it omnla. A schoolboy wrote confidently la a gram mar paper. "There are five bowels ia the Englibh language , with w and y " Another boy , who together wkh a friend was hauled accused of breakIng - "before the headmaster , , Ing boundaries , made a similar traaspos - tioa. His chum offered the usual sciolboy plea of ignorance it is marvelous , by the way , how ignorant the sharpest iboy can beef of regulations and further protected him self by the assertion that they had only traversed a few yards of the forbidden ter ritory. The master turned to the other with the q'uestlon , "And what have you to sa } ' " The lad , who had a penchant for the danger ous habit of usVng long words , replied "Please , sir. Smith has made a perfectly voracious statement" A certain novel ap peared , containing the following remarkable sentence : "He struck his knee heavily with a great fish. " The mistake passed the no tice of the proofreader aad author , -while .probably very few readers noticed it. A Numerous Cla . The two following confusions of meaning are of the bank holiday order , rrrors be longing "to this class are sufficiently nu merous , for most people must have noticed that the average costermongrr or laborer never seems to care what words he may use in expressing himself , so long as his mean ing is grasped. In the gardens of the Zoo logical society a couple were standing before the cage of the hyenas , while the man was commenting upon the habits of the beastc for the benefit of the woman who hung to his arm. Inspired by the knowledge and eloquence of her ewaln , the young woman began to rack her brains for original ideas with which to confront him. Presently one the natural feminine idea came. "Bi.l she exclaimed , "what 'ave these 'ere to do with marriage ? " "Why , naught you silly. " retorted Bill , unpolitely. "They 'ave. " she returned , triumphantly. "When a couple are bein' spliced , we 'ears 'em talk of the hyenal altar. " The sands of Margate are Indirectly responsible for this. Father , mother and family were about to be photo graphed by one of the Itinerant beach fiends. when one of the olive branches. In fear perhaps of the machine , fled away , with mother in hot pursuit. The chase waxed long , for the urchin was blessed with sturdy legs , and mother's Ekirts impeded her. At length even father , who was indulgent to ! a fault at holiday time , last patience , or perhaps he was reminded by the photogra pher that this delay would entail an ex penditure of extra cippers. " 'Urry up with the nipper , Maria ! 'Ere's the bloke a-waitin' ' " ' Chimaera' with the chlmaera' Hymeneal' Surely It Is rather curious that classical words such as these should be known , how ever indistinctly , to the lower classes. Tronl > l -i of nn Alderman. Want of sufficient courace to rise to an important occasion is frequently a cause of wrrd blunders , hurry or otherwise , while absent-minded fits are responsible for many more In a certain ancient borough the aldermen met one day at the mayor's house i with the object cf presenting a silver cradle I to the mayoresswao fcad been blessed with j ' of office. a son during ber husband's year I The alderman who was to make the presentation - [ tation was rather a nervous man just the j one. in fact , who might be relied upon to i say something out of the way. He cucceeded in doing so In his opening words. "We have ! met together here , " he began , "on this EUB- ' picious occasion " One of his confreres I pulled him by the coat tails. He looked I around and went on more flurried than ever * "I repeat , on this very suspicious occasl n " Here the laushter that could be no longer restrained drowned the utterance. It was hard upon the mayoress , for he emphasized the "very" In so pronounced a fashion , but ! the affair ended , of course , quite pleasantly , A country parson found himself called upon to make an after-dinner speech for aim an almost unique experience. The assembly were well-nirh convulsed when , after the preliminary clearing of his throat , he led off mildly with "My dear brethren. " He re peated the phrase several times throughout his speech , and , when he had finished , sank back into his chair , perfectly oblivious of having done anything "cut of order" A better ins.ince of absence of mind occurred In the case of a gentleman win had written a most scholarly and erudite letter to one staking for information , conducing with the words "I iave the honor to be yours very ruspectively. " It was , of course , a mere pen Blip , but the mistake Icoked strangely out of place after eo much that was clever and correct- The apparitor general , who received a communication addressed in mont unmis takable fashion to "The Apparition Gen eral " niuit have felt little flattered. A maid happened to oveihear her mistress talking witb her li-year-eld daughter. Fiie could only catch a few dlszonneetfd scraps of the eonverBatioij that was taking place , tout she gathered from the lips of her oit- trr some eueh phiase as this"If * only a natter of money after all. " "Just think ! " the announced later on. when she had joined tie ever-curious oempany below stairs , " Mlrtus was a-talkiag to that child already about matrimeay. * * This ives us aoote liua i hew lying report * and ee&adal originate aad are circulated. Servants naturally liwsn to diaing and drawing -room ounversatiaB , but unfortunately tb < y cannot repeat w hat thr bear , aad thqlr ewa versten is a thing aHo- t eether new and EtraaEe. ' A gentleman in a rural district drew down AMI SEGMENTS. { Matinee Today I l.L. 1531. | Any Seat 25 Cents WEEK COMMENCING FEB. 19. COMJBJD Vaudeville's GEORGE FELIX AND in their Stars Comedy LYDIA BARRY hu VAUDEVILLE CRAZE" Genuine Artists The Latest Parisian Craze KELLY fiKD VIQLETTE Europe's ' THE In Refined Acrobatic Celebrities DARTQS Singing and Dtinscurs Comedy Specialty DC Salon FR&NK FOURTINI &HD DOR TROUPE OF BROTHERS Eccentric Musical Marvels Comedy Comedians and Novelty Cumedv Boxers Artists First Appearance The Celebrated in America Comedy Duo NIVEN'S MONKEYS MATHEWS & HARRIS The Most Original and In their Original Comedy Skit , Perfect Trained Animal " Act in the World. "CAUGHT HAPPING" Prices Never Changing Evenings Reserved Seats , 25 ; and SOc. Gallery 10 ; . .Matinees Any Seat 25c. Children 10s 4aight beginning & Washington's Birthday 3Iatinee WEDNESDAY , FEBRUARY 22. The Smyth i. Rice Comedians In The \ Wednesday i Matinee i Prices J 25c and 50c 1 O % * \ N X By H. A. Du Souchet who wrote "The Man From Mexico. " HIGHT PRICES Lower Floor , 5Oc , 75c , and SI. Balcony , 35c and 5Oc. Gallery , 25c. o A o o o o With the Traveling Men o o o o Under the auspices of Omaha Post "A" of ihe T. o- o < P. A. ( a national organiiatisn of traveling men ) , will oo be the eveat cf the week. Trocadero Theater. Friday o night , the 2 iA Hag-Time Minstrel and Midway o Vaudeville Show , ae only tbe traveling men can give. o s A laugh that will last you a w eek. A night with the oo traveling men and their friends will be one long to be o o remembered. Admission 50c. Reserved seats at o o Omaha Teat & Rubber Co. , Thursday morning. O Prof. RufUB K. Lore , The Traveling Mea and o Director. Local Talent the show. o - o- oO 9 will's ' Premioni BOYD'S PAX7WJ EURGESS 1- TWO Nights Prirtav Fchrnsru 9A i'r Commencing rllUOJi rcuiUOIj SATURDAY W1ATINEE real Daniel Frohraan s Special Company preBentinp the g-reat Romantic Drama , by 1 V VVJ Anthonv Her > t Esq. , author of "Rupert of Hentzau. etc Put up In 1-ponnd Carton * Only. THE PRISONER OF ZENDA with Howard Gould In his original role ver Sold In Bulk A powerful cast A < arload of speciaj - , Pure Porl : Dellrlonnlj- oiid scenery Magnificent < osturr-ep Prices 25c 5k ( , 7 c and tl W > Tbe Ben Thnt Money Cnn Bny. ASK ANY BUSINESS MAN who mates the best sale and his reply will be "HALL'S. " Thnt'B why we bandit ) Hall's Safes we have new and sscond hiuifl eHl on easy monthly paymrntu , or will rent you one if you denre. The Three Best Bicycles Made are the "JJinarch. " "Andrae" and g& "OKve" we rell them from K3 to KS > monthly payments ir you wish it. We've a few ' 38 ntod1 Is that we're closing our at Just half price. We want the room for our ' 9& wheels , Williams and Jewett Typewriters Th& 'Wllllaros Is the leading visible wr.t-ng machine made. Prints Ilk * a press ns blur no dirty ribbon. We are state 'jtents for both th ae ma rhlnes. Wt il send you a catalogue for the a&king. J. J. DERIGHT S CO 1116 Telephone FARNAM. 353 upon hit head a storm of adverse critlcl'm by marrying B second wife shortly aft r tae demise of his Sret. Two of those peed , wooiea who look generally ujioa the surface of thiii f , aad wbe are over ready with oon- d a > natica , ware discusciag the Oi&eracefuJ affair. "Why. my dear , there's bte poor wife hardly et-ld in her grave , aad he goet aad aarriefc auotber" "Dreadful ! " declared the other , "I ner r beard of such a thing. " "I should thick not. indeed. " went en num- bw ane angrily. "Harrying wife after wife like that why , the man' * a regular poly- Blot ! " A Olevdand Plain Dealer : "Did you near about the awful thing that huppeosd IB that timid young Mr. TSwmiacT" "N ; what was kr * "Why. he was ealHnc en Maud the ether nlbt and nhea he vent away he was E THE MILLARD 13th and Douglas Sts. . Omaha , IIC.IX AAD Et'UOI'EAJf FliAX CENTiu J-LT LOCATED , J. C. UAliKKL.t > 0 > , Prnp PCEOSClCECSeaCEOSOBCIOSOCe' ' ! § The Bee § g Represents the West Mail it o to your friends. serrotis that he actually picked up one of her leaping ! in the tuli and wore it aw&j la > lace of his tobaeeaa ens- "