r ; THE OMAHA DAILY JJEIS * . SUNDAY , DEOEMBEK 29 , 1805 , Tim OMAIIA SUNDAY R. nosi\VATi-n : : , noiior. TDHMS or sriisctttrTioN. . . Pully tto ( Without Sunday ) , On Ytar . I J W mil ? Il end Sun ! y , One Ymr . > J JJ filx Month * . . . , . " 55 Thrro Months . . { S Pundnr B * . One Year . J JJ F turday n t. On * Y ir . * } , " \V kly Bet , One Tear . M OFFICES. Omnli.v Th ! i. . . _ . Bouth Omnlm , Plna r Hlk. . Cnrner N nnl tltn Sli. Council Illunr/i / , II I'rntl fitreft. Chlcnco OITlro. 317 Ommlifr of nromsrre. , JC w York. Hw > mi 11. H nn < l 15. Trll.une . IlulWlnj. Washington , HOT P Street , N.V. . All cetnmunlcntloin rolntlni ? to news < ? . . " torlnl matter should l > adilrtwedi To the Editor. . . All business letters nnd remittances * ' " ' ' ' ' ' * ( VldrcsecJ to Th ! T'ublWilnB f Omaha. Drnfl , . checks nnrt ptntonlco I * made pnynl.ls lo th enl r or the IIRR PUIIMSIIINO STATEMENT OF CIHCUI.AT1ON. Ocorite II. Tm-huck. cpcrrUry of The lice rub- Ilihlnif company. I.elns . duly worn , sny that th ? nctunl number cf full nml complete conies of lh Dully Morning. livrnlnc and RumUy He prlnlM durlnr the month of November , 18M , wa s fol- . . . . . . . . - . J0.1M . . . " ' I . . . 15.035 . ' ; i. .w E Ifl'lin Z1 . 1S.OM ' . ' . ; ; : . ; ; : zi > M zi . j ; . ji.orn 22 . J'JjJ f 13'tl 23 . . . 19,121 9. . " . ' . " ! " " , " ! 19. ' t SI . JJ ' ? 2 I ? : : : : : : : : : : : : : : aB ? 8 : : : : : : : : : : : : : : tg 12. , , . ' * 19 ' Kd 27 . J5.0M 1.1 . . ; . ; . ; .o 2 * sa so . Tolnl . ; > M ilcilucttnns for unsold and returned copies nei ! . flworn tr > b fore mo nm ! mlnerllicd In prei-cnre this 2d dny of n vmlicr. 1SD * . ( Son ) . ) N. I * . PBI1. . Notary Public. No one will liiHlmmto tlmt the \vnr flurry \n \ a scheme to help the nriny npproprliitlons tliroti li contn-csH , liit It would liuvc Itt-uii 1111 I'lTecllvc inovo- int'iit In this dlructlon lnul that been Ita object. Schlnttor , jR-L-onlliiK to Intest reports , lists tllscanled Ills white horse and taken to riding a imile. This Is aildltlonal cvldeiit-e that this alleged divine healer Is an Imitator , and a clumsy Imitator nt that. Chicago set off a few tons of jiowder Just to mnko Its Inhabitants be lieve that they could stay at home all the year round and still enjoy the sen sations of a foreign country subject to periodical earthquakes. There have been many and wonderful Improvements In the methods and nia- ohlnery of war , but the time when bat tles will be fought without men to form the rank and llle of the army appears to be as far away as ever. For every man who has made money In the paper mining stocks representing holes in Colorado hills there are ten men who have lost the savings they have labored months and years to earn. The chances of netting rich by amblliij ; In mining stocks are not much butter than KetthiK rich In gaming at the faro table. The woman suffragists meet ngaln In national convention In Washington next mouth and will go over the same ' ground which they have gone over every year since their organization was perfected. Utah , Colorado and Wyom ing are the only three states thru nave granted political suffrage to women aw < ! .Uier ! representatives will doubtless bo the heroines of the convention. Immigration to this country In 1S05 was a little heavier than In ISI ! ) , but yet far below IS ! ) . ' ! and previous years. A large Influx of Immigrants and prosperous - porous times seem to be , as a rule , co incident. The increasing number of arrivals at our potts may , therefore , be taken as an Indication tlmt foreigners are viewing with more favor the pros pects offered by the United States for bettering their conditions. The principal part of the report of the Interstate Commerce commission is given up to a recital of the commission's Inellleleney. It tells at length what the commission might accomplish if only the Interstate law were properly amended to give It the needed authority. Just why It does not exercise to the fullest limit the power already vested In It , It does not attijmpt to say. It might Bay something of Interest on this point. If there Is another Instance on record besides that of the McGann-Hclknap case , In which a congressman has volun tarily given up a contested seat because he was convinced that the certificate of flection was wrongfully awarded him , wo have not had It brought to our at tention. A man whose sense of political honesty Is developed to this high moral piano deserves something better of his constituents than defeat when he stands for re-election. The Interstate Commerce commission lias declared the new Joint trallle asso ciation of the eastern trunk lines to bo In violation of the provisions of the interstate law. The now agreement , however , Is no different in principle than a dozen that have gone before It. Nothing ever came of prosecution on account of other Infractions of the null- pooling clause , and If anything comes of the prosecution now proposed the people will bo agreeably surprised. It Is suggested that the bill relieving ox-confederates from the discrimination iigalnst their enlistment In the United Htates army , which was passed by ( he tiunuto as a Christmas gift to the south , Ito endorsed by ( ho house and approved by the president as a Now Year's offer- lug , If thu bill Is to go through , as now twcMiit * assured , such a procedure would without question make the concession doubly appreciated by the ex-confeder- nte veterans. Congress will not be lacking In bills for the settlement of the I'aclile rail road debt. Kvery congressman who thinks he Icncnvs how to solve the prob lem will put his Idea Into the form of a bill and tirgo Its consideration on con gress. All those bills , however , will go to the committee on I'acllle railroads , nnd it will bo the committee bill which will bo discussed , debated , amended and Dually acted upon. The committee bill will bo the bill over which the If uuy there Is , uuut come. on MtMTAnr SCHOOLI Shnll the Hoard of 1'nrk Coinmld * filoniTs exert Its Influence agnlnrtt the proposed conversion of Fort Omnlm Into n military training school and for Us transfer to the city na n public park and zoological garden ? If this question were submitted to the people of Omaha the answer would be an emphatic "no. " Omnlm Is now well provided with pub lic parks. To beautify and maintain these parks will tax to the utmost the resources of the park commission for a generation to come. Omaha has no surplus In Its treasury for the purchase of wild animals or tame animals nnd Is not likely to have unless some one of Its rich men should leave n bequest for tlmt purpose. Kven In that event the present narks afford abundant space in which a menagerie can be conveniently located. If a South Omaha millionaire wills a 7.00 to the city he can have It exhibited at Ulvervlew. If a West Omaha millionaire Is the benefactor he can Insist on Its location In Khmvood park. If a North Omaha man fur nishes the necessary funds ho can con vert Sillier park Into a zoo. If someone ono wants to Immortalize himself with founding something aboriginal In the menagerie line ho can build a Noah's Ark and anchor It In the Missouri off Courtland beach. Tlmt Omaha 1ms already plenty of breathing places goes without saying. What It needs just now Is more people to take breath In them. An additional park will not add to Its population. The establishment of a military training school at Fort Omaha , on the other hand , will not merely bring to Omaha the professors and Instructors , but will also dt-aw hundreds of young men from all parts of Nebraska and from all the neighboring states. A more suitable site for such a school than Fort Omaha Is nowhere to be found in the whole United States. Every thing needed for the conduct of a mil itary school is already there. There arc commodious residences for members of the faculty and their families , commodi ous dormitories for a whole regiment of cadets , drill grounds , assembly halls , guard houses , storehouses for arms and military supplies and buildings adapted for lecture and recitation rooms. Of what use would all these costly and substantial buildings and residences be if the place were to be given up to n live animal collection ? Suppose one of the olllcer's houses were to be trans formed Into a monkey house , a second into a parrot cage , a third into a bear pit , a fourth into a kangaroo house , and one of the soldiers' barracks Into a lodge for wild animals of different va rieties , what would be done with the remaining do/.en otliccrs' dwellings and the commanding otlicer's elegant resi dence ? AVlmt would be done with the headquarters ? Would those buildings be given up to snakes , prairie dogs and California white mice , or would they be demolished ? The I5ee regards the whole scheme of a bear garden at Fort Omaha as waste ful and Impracticable. What Is most surprising is the alleged preference of Omaha Grand Army veterans for 'lie' anlnml.sliow over the military school. "Why should old soldiers oppose military training for the boys , of the coming generation - oration ? Would not such a school bo a blessing to the sons ot veterans and their sons for all time ? If it is true that they want a soldiers' and sailors' monument erected on the Fort Omaha site , what Is to hinder them from build ing It on the parade grounds of the proposed school ? What nobler monument ment lo the soldiers of 1S01-1S05 could bo erected than the establishment of a center for the military education of the sons and grandsons of the men who wore the blue ? AX ILItKdAL C03IHIXATION. The Joint trallle agreement of the east ern railroads will not go Into effect next month , as was contemplated. The Inter state Commerce commission , aroused from its lethargy by .congressional In quiries regarding the agreement , has concluded that It Is In conflict with the Interstate commerce law and has asked the attorney general of the United States to Institute proceedings by In junction or otherwise to prevent the agreement being carried into effect. The dispatch announcing this conclusion of the commission does not state In what respect the agreement Is Illegal , but It undoubtedly Is In the arrangement for dividing trallle , which Is essentially a pooling arrangement and In violation of section B of the Interstate commerce act. It Is somewhat remarkable that the commission required HO much time to discover this and reach a conclusion , the terms of the agreement having been made public a month or more ago and their character then and previously dur ing the pendency of the agreement urged upon the attention of the commission. Of course that body of sedate and compla cent gentlemen may say that they wore not called upon to act until the agree ment was completed , but granting that it Is Klill true tlmt they showed no dis position to take any notice of this colos sal combination for controlling trans portation rates between the seaboard and the west until called upon to fur nish congress with Information regardIng - Ing Its character and purpose. The tlrst response to this request was tin evasion , as the later ono shows. The conclusion reached by the com mission Is exceedingly important , since If this agreement had gone Into effect It would have been the forerunner of similar agreements by other railroads , until the whole railway transportation of the country would have been con trolled by combinations acting In har mony and raising rates at will. The eastern trallle association agreement was drawn with great care and deliberation by the able lawyers of the several com panies and seemed to bo regarded by them and the astute men managing the companies ns Impregnable. Ono of the railway presidents declared a short time ago tlmt It made no difference to them what members of congress or other people ple said about thu agreement , It was legal and they were not troubling them selves about opposition to It from any source. They will now be given an op portunity to test the legality of the agreement In the courtu , If they are dis posed to do so , though It Is not Improb able that they will prefer to let the agreement drop nnd direct their efforts to securing legislation from congress to permit pooling contracts under the su pervision of the Interstate Commerce commission. The conclusion reached by the com mission is a complete vindication of the position taken by Senator William K. Chandler of New Hampshire regarding this trallle association agreement. Mr. Chandler clearly pointed out that It violated lated the Interstate commerce net nnd that moreover the association was In the nature of a trust and therefore con trary to public policy , Illegal and void. "If this tremendous combination Is not Illegal , " said Mr. Chandler In a letter to President Cleveland , "no aggregation nnd association of unlimited capital for one commercial purpose can bo pre vented by law. " Whether the action of the commission will put an end to such tratllc agreements Is problematic. What ever may bo the outcome , the credit due the commission for its decision .should not bo withheld. ir/ir oo ro onwi'LK CIIKKKJ If you want to make your fortune In the shortest possible time , there Is no need of going to Cripple Creek. Why delve with pick and shovel among the rocks of Colorado when there Is more gold In sight right here at home ? The city of Omaha pays $1 per head , or , more vulgarly speaking , ? 1 per tall for every dog olllcially drowned In the Missouri river. In the mouth of October the poundmaster claims to have put nn end to102 canines and for this service his bill of ? J02 has been ap proved by the Hoard of Health. Tills Is more money than ho could possibly have hoped to pan out of Cripple Creek In twenty-seven week days and four Sundays1. This shows conclusively that dog catching is the best paying industry in Omaha. There Is always an abundance of dogs and no danger tlmt the supply will give out as long as the tails fetch $1. apiece In the otllcc of the health com missioner. If there were any Indication that the supply would run short of the demand canines with double tails could be raised In unlimited numbers on short notice. Dog breeding with mongrel pups bringing ? 1 per tail beats pig rais ing at ? ; ! .33 per hundred , live weight , all hollow. As we said at the outset , Why go to Cripple Creek chasing after rainbow fortunes when you can strike It rich on the Missouri river dump ? TllK Cf.OSlXG YKAlt. The year 1S93 has been an eventful ono and the history It has made is of profound interest to all mankind. In the United States it has been a year of domestic peace and bountiful har vests rewarded the industry of the agri cultural producers , but that full return of prosperity which wast'onlldently ex pected at the beginning of the year has not been realized. During the first half of the year there was a marked improvement. In industrial conditions , biit owing to the heavy importations of merchandise this Improvement was not maintained and for several months past some American Industries have not been in full operation , nnd the Immedi ate outlook for them at this time is less favorable than a year ago. Every month of the year , with a single ex ception , has shown a treasury deficit , and this , coupled with the fact that the gold reserve was constantly menaced , has prevented the complete restoration of financial confidence so essential to the revival of business activity nnd prosperity. At this time the treasury Is confronted with the urgent necessity of another Issue of bonds to replenish the gold redemption fund and financial and commercial Interests are waiting with anxious solicitude the result of the efforts of the representatives of the people to relieve the situation. The political events of the year , though elections were held In only one- fourth of the states , have shown that the extraordinary change In popular sentiment demonstrated by the elections of last year still continues. Tlmt change was a distinct and unequivocal protest against the economic policy of the demo cratic party , which was responsible for the business depression and the over throw of financial confidence and under the operation of which the Interest- bearing public debt 1ms been Increased $1(5 ( ,000,000 , with the certainty of a still further addition to It of a sum which It Is not now possible to deter mine. In our foreign relations there has been much to Interest the Intelli gent observer of events , but nothing of a serious nature or that threatened to disturb peaceful relations until the president declared the attitude of the executive department regarding the Venezuelan Issue and congress sus tained the position taken by the chief executive. The war fever created by that action has , however , greatly abated , and all the present Indications favor the conviction that there will be an amicable adjustment , without any sacrillco of dignity or honor by either country concerned In the controversy. Such other Issues as have arisen from our International relations and remain unsettled nro not of a nature likely to cause any serious trouble , the most Im portant of these being the Waller case and the llrltlsh claim for seizures In Hering sea. In other portions of the western hem isphere them Jinvo been no very notable events , except the Insurrection in Cuba , which hits nmdo pretty sternly progress since Its inception and has recently ex hibited a strength and aggressiveness which have greatly encouraged the hopes of the friends of the patriots. The South American republics , with the ex ception of Ecuador , lm\e been nt peace and all of them have realized some ma terial progress. The same Is true of the Central American states , while Mexico , according to the lust messngo of her president , 1ms had ono of the most prosperous years in her recent history. Canada , helped so far us her natural products are concerned by our present tariff , la more prosperous than for a number of years past. Turning to lands beyond the seas , the triumph of Japan In the war with China \VIIH of far-reaching Import to the rest of the world. There are adjustments yet to be effected which may lead to complications 'Involving several Euro pean nations , ( ml It Is assured tlmt civ ilization will htiucpforwnrd make steady progress lit.tlu far east and tlmt pop ulous quarter of the earth become- most oxtotirtlve-icoiilrlbulor to the world's productions' , ' ' . There Is no more aggres sive people/ / Industrially and commer cially , tliaivtho Japanese , ns they are demonstrating' , by their Invasion of many of the world's markets , Including our own. Hi Europe the terrible atroci ties of the T.ur . s have commanded the attention of..the civilized world since the beginning1' the year , and the awful crimes against humanity nnd civilization nro still going on , while the Christian nations of Europe stand Idly by making only fruitless appeals , mu tual Jealousies keeping them from tak ing any active measures to put n stop to outrages and brutalities committed upon a helpless people for which the history of the world presents few paral lels. It appears to be the purpose of the Turkish government and people to continue tho' massacre of Armenians until tlmt most unfortunate people are exterminated , and having accomplished that they may next use their swords upon the other Christian subjects of the porte. It Is to the everlasting shame of the Christian powers of Europe , and especially Great Hrltnln , that this stale of affairs exists. England has had a change of ministry during the year , without as yet any po litical results. Some of her more Impor tant manufacturing industries have pros pered from the favor shown them by our present tariff , but a poor harvest has made stronger than ever the com plaints and the demands for relief of the agricultural class. In the conti nental countries of Europe no events of very great moment , as nll'ectlng the world at 'large ' , have transpired. France has had a change of presidents and a couple of cabinet crises , with more or less political agitation , but the lirmness of republican Institutions has not been disturbed. In Germany the authority of the government has been exerted witlt uncommon severity against those conspicuously offensive In their hostil ity to it , witii tin- effect , perhaps , of in tensifying the spirit of socialism , but on ( lie whole political affairs in that empire have not been of a nature to cause its ruler any serious anxiety. The Internal affairs of Ilussia have gone along smoothly , and the same Is true , In the main , of Austria-Hungary , while in Italy the government 1ms addressed Itself chiefly to the consideration of the financial proj > lem , long a very serious matter , nnd , " It'appears , with good re sults. Of , lhe ' 'lesser nations there Is little to note , pf importance. On the whole'the record of the clos ing year , leaving out of consideration the atrocity of the Armenian massacres and perhaps some minor wrongs grow ing out of the reed of nations , shows progress In the .direction of a-broader civilization "and all that Implies. It is not to be doubled tlmt there has been an advance'iln everything that makes for the intellectual nnd moral Improve ment of inaiiliirill , and while it Is true that grave problems , political and social , still await solution , there Is abundant reason for looking hopefully to tJie future. It would bo amusing , if It were not humiliating , to listen to the misappli cations of the so-called balance of trade theory. The latest is a mathematical flend who has figured out that exactly $17 ! > ,000,000 in gold lias been shipped to Europe in payment of ( lie excess of our Imports over our exports. The idea is that for every dollar of such excess a dollar in gold has been transferred across the Atlantic to liquidate the debt. Of course , this is simply ridicu lous , because exports and Imports are by no means the only elements entering into the International balance * . Then again there Is no period such as six months or a year when the debits are set off against ono another and the dif ference paid in gold. The International business is conducted with running ac counts. We may be paying debts con tracted years ago , and wo may be staving off payment of matured obliga tions. Tile precise mathematical bal ance of trade Is a delusion and a r.nare. Omaha in years past has made re peated efforts to secure a direct , line of railroad between tills city and Vankton , the purpose being to lap the wheat Holds and cattle ranges of the east half of South Dakota. A bridge at Yank- ton and the closing of a gap less than thirty miles wide between the latter point nnd Ilnrtlngton would afford a direct line , but so long as the North western system shall control the line between Omaha and Ilnrtlugton there Is little hope of through service between those points. Congressman Gamble of South Dakota 1ms interested himself In securing a charter for a new bridge nt Yunkton and In conjunction with the Great Northern system Is seeking to enlist English capital In the enterprise , the purpose bolng to build a new line to Norfolk and Omaha. No .scheme for developing thQJwe.stern country now In contemplation'is of more Importance to Omaha than tills. , When the Wilson bill was presented to congress CJialVman Wilson denied that the meanuru , discarded the princi ple of protection.v in referring to the proposed ninenjtJiijent to the tariff bill Mr. Henderson Insisted on the floor of the house that'It was not framed along protection lines , , lero wo have the rep- ivsontatlves of- both the political par- tics successively J denying tlmt their tariff bills con-osifond to the principles for which they have been contending. The amended bill will doubtless bo re ferred to by the democrats as a pro- ectlvo measure and by republicans us for revenue ojijy. The annual meeting of the State Teachers' association nt Lincoln this week promises to be an event of more than ordinary Importance In stnto edu cational circles. Arrangements have been nmdo for the attendance of speak- era of national repute and authorities upon pedagogical subjects and the rail ways huvo inado a one furo rate from nil Nebraska points during the session. Such attractions ought to Insure n largo and representative gathering of teach ers ftom all parts of the elate , and those that attend cannot but be the gainers by the Information , Instruction and extended acquaintance wlilch the occasion will present. Itepcatcd additions to the already overgrown endowments of several of our largest private colleges and univer sities mean that the standard of higher education Is to become more and more expensive. They mean , too. that unless the resources of the different state sup ported universities are correspondingly Increased they will not be able to com pare In point of luxurious equipment. For example , It Is Idle to expect n state like Nebraska to maintain n slate uni versity on the same plane as the Uni versity of Chicago , which Is literally rolling in wealth. Hut the state uni versities can always aim to excel In thoroughness of work and In results In the limited Held which they cover. This Is what they should attempt to do. Criii'l nn il IIiiiiNiinl , Indlitnnpotlfl Xcu'R. Convicts 111 the Nulirnska penitentiary have lioen counterfeiting. The only adequate pun- ! nhiiieiit , It Rrcnis , would lie to sentence thc.n to ouulo ( or life. I'oliitlnt ; < > Plenty. Sioux Cliy .Immnl. Nebraska Is to have- nearly 1.000,000 ncros of land under Irrlnntlon next year. The tub- arl.l region will MOSMIII with beauty nnd bend under n load of we.ilth If tills thing continues. ir mi Iliitrnlli , Now Voik Mall nnil Kxprcnx. The English pro o continues to circulate tlio barefaced Its that the United State * re- fuswd to pay "the dainties awarded by the I'arta arbitration tribunal In the seal fishery matter. " The fact la that the 1'arla tribunal made no award of damages at all , but flilly refused to consider the matter. Klth r the paper : ) wnn retail this cheap Ho are densely Ignorant , or flagrantly malicious. t * Aroiiniiiioilntliiu : the Ituili. St. Paul Pioneer Press. A new atrocity In the way of a time-saver Is about to ba adopted In lirooklyn a buflct trolley car , on which business men can snatch a Imply dinner and have nothing to uo niter tliuy get home mil dress to m > out for the evening. The curious feature of these laborious ) contrivances for the saving : ot tlmo Is that we scorn always to bo getting further and farther away from the achievement of leisure. Slinilnivy I N ( ti > * Abroad. Now York Sun. Some western enthuslaols who believe them , solves helro to nn estate In Ireland , said to bo worth $25,000.000 , have formed an asso ciation for the. purpose of prosecuting their claim. Some thoughtful attorney will ba able to lake a trip to Ireland In consequence. i neso great fortunes in ttio moon help bacIV , although wo have never heird of theJr helping the confiding heirs. Hut why Is Ire land or England and not Spain selected as the scene of these frequent romances ? Tin- Title fif Imiiil .SprltlKlMil ( Mass. ) lU'publlran. Immigration for the past year will show a large gain over laot year , but utlll a large loss as compared with 1893 the figures bzlng 230- S10 for thin year with December partly esti mates ] , against 107CGS In 1894 and 352.JI44 In 1S)3. ! ) This Is a pretty good measure of the extent of the business recovery over ISfll. It In known , by the way , that the Immigrants of the past fiscal year brought In over ? 4.000 , . 000 and as tiny are not compelled to show over ? l0 ! each the conunUnioners believe the sum brought In to bo much larger. Uciiifily for IlnllroMil Itnli'Warn. . John W. Mldfiley In the Forum , After describing the cause of rate wars , Mr. Mldgley , chairman of the AVeslern Freight association , Indicates a possible cure. lie says : Of necessity It must bj within the lew ; therefore , as matters now stand , pools , as a remedy , are excluded. Purhaps It may 1 > 3 found In the words "responsibility" nnd "accountability. " The responsibility for each disastrous bleak In ratt-s should bo loc-.it d and the punishment duo should be Inlllcted without fear or favor. In order to make such a remedy effective tlu'ra should bo constituted a board or syndicate of bank = rs , icprcsentlng Investors In corporate properties. Such nn organization would bo In a position to say to each company : "We will commend your securities so long ns your property lo managed cons rvatlvely ; but If It should ap pear that your officers ar. acting reck lessly , or are willful disturbers , we will advise the public to let your stocks and bonds alone. " A statement of that kind , from men of authority In financial circles , would speedily subdue the most belligerent , and pr sumably compel the directors of the com pany concerned to glva their Immediate at tention to the troubles , with the probable result that the disturbances would ecus. . ? . The remedy Is simple , but thera need bo no doubt aa to Its cfllcacy. No man , however rich or powerful , would disregard an Intima tion cf the character described ; while the possibility nf its receipt would restrain those who dep'nd on the confidence of others for their employment. CJOSSII' A1IIHJTOTI2II MR.V. Ono of the inaH rcmarknhlo things abaut Miss Klngslcy'u explorations In the wilds of Africa Is that though she has been pushing onward for inonthB , overcoming all kinds of hardohlp , penetr.itlng fever-laden Jungles , climbing mountains , associating with canni bals , getting tlppnl out of .an unstable canoe several 11 urns nnd having an occasional hair breadth escape from death , slio has never once Hst her nerve or fallen ill. One of the sights she saw was a number nf human corpajs hung iiji In a KagWEi house like hams , to bo eaton by thei occupants. The spectacle would have thrown an ordinary woman Into hys. turlcj. A former constituent of Speaker need's from up In Maine , but who now lives In Arizona called upon the cpealcer the other day , and , of course , mentioned the fact that hl adopted homo would expert statehood from this con grcsj , "Well , " said the ppcakcr , "what are your claims for statehood ? " Aft-sr reciting the wonderful resources of tlio territory , the culler closed with a bril liant eulogy upon itu climate. "Tut ! " said Mr. Hoed. "Now como down I huvo been out to Fort Yunia and the weather Is so hot that should one die there ho would never dlocover hU change of ell- mat * . " Hon. William McKlnloy has a brand new handshake , Ho had what ho thought was. a glorious one lit 1892 , but suheoquent events uhowed linn his error. He has discarded the 1SU2 hand and altia his Napoleon mlun When Mr. McKlnley greets a man who may be of nervlco to him ho takes a step forward and , lifting bis hat with his left hand , ewlnga out tlio right In a soml-clrclo and , tilting his head out at a confidential angle , ullontly prossea the hand of thu visitor , This Is known as the "conlldsntlal cla p. ' It makes the vlnllor believe that lie Is ono of the few real friends McKlnley ban on earth , It sayu plainer than wordi : "Stand by me , my boy , and all will be well. " It Is a pleasant , manly shako , reawurlng and graos- ful , without being boluto.-ous or presuming. Tlio late George Augusta. Sala wan patted on the head by Wellington , heard Mallbran sing and I'aganlnl play , saw the coronation of Queen Victoria and lived to ceUbrato her Jubilee , siw Louis I'hlllppo while he waa still king of the French , witnessed the second funeral of Napoleon , gazed on three rvolu > tlona In the French capital , saw old Czar Nicholas at the Ascot race * , attended the funeral of the assassinated Alexander II. and lived In Hutfia when there were millions of wlilto serfs there , fclowod Garibaldi In hid campaign In Tyrol , was la tbo Franco-Mexi can war and at the storming of Pueblo , heard the first TurUls.li canstltutloa pro claimed In Constantinople , from the steps of the old S.'nigllo , listened to Daniel O'Conncll In the London Tavern , spent 'hlrtcen years in America during the civil war and met Lincoln , Sunnier , Ureuloy und lirant , as well aa Jcirarcon Davit , and way a frleuJ. of Ulclt- ens and Thackeray , SKCt'I.Atl SHOTS AT TlllO I'I'MMT. Knnitas City Journal : A lloston cliurc tins adopted the plan of following the sermn with joprsno solo. ThsconsrpR.itlon I thus stimulated to kfep awake through th discourse In anticipation of something gooi at Its close. CMobt-Democral : Doston Is a great tnuslca .19 well ns Intellrctuil center. One of It papers says of a sermon last Sunday : "The spiritual lesson It bore was pointed and on forced by an eloquently rcnJcred sopran solo just nt Its close. " The Invlgoratlon o a s-ermon by the soprano Is UiMablc , bn the rest of the choir ought not to bo slteu In yuch an emergency. Indianapolis Journal : The reverend brothc who undertook to convince the Methodls Minister * ' association recently that the color of fin Is pink should bo labored with Such a theory Is destructive of poetry , sen tlmcnt nnd Uftals. Under Us sway , wha would become of the ocean of cherished lit craturo In which ths rep ? and the maiden's llpe and clucks form such esao.itln parts ? These tlmo honored properties o the poet must not bo let go without a trug gle. New York Sun : We have heard of ths MIC- cess of the evangelical clergyman In Hobo ken who recently resigned his pastorate to start a bser saloon , nnd nlso of the succew of ths orthodox Congregational clergyman In Outtenburg who abandoned his pulpit to set tip business a an undertaker , lloth o them gave up preaching because It did not pay ; and who will ilnd fault with them for doing so ? It would not be surprising If each of them wcro to maUo a fortune li his new business. Plenty of clergymen nro better fitted for keeping shop than for preach ing. Kansnn City Star : The preachers , who are always entitled to a hearing , have had their say on the Venezuelan controversy , nnd the consensus of opinion among them seems to bo that there should bo no war. Aside from thosn vexatious theological differences which divide the churchss , the attitude ot tlio clergy Is , generally speaking , ono of peace and conciliation. H Is natural for the Christian ministry In thly day and gen eration to raise its voice against strife and bloodshed , though nothing would so becom ingly accompany this protest as a complete abandonment of those hostilities which cer tain Christian denominations In this country Inherited from the war of the rebellion , Ij AM ) OTIII211WIS13. The greatest peril of the Cuban situation Is .that General Campos may have to fight to hold his Job. H should bo the duty of every true patriot to avoid giving offense and Increasing the coolnss of Canada. Chicago fully comprehends what It Is to have water everywhere , but not a drop to drink without boiling It. The fac simile cablegrams from foreign notables published In New York are Intcreet- Irt ; as specimens of leglbl ? telegraphic fists. Miss Hnlfour , sister of the leader of the House of Commons , reads all the principal newspapers , dally and weekly , and marks whatever she thinks will bo of use to her brother and bis colleagues. A preacher at Aurora , III. , who told mem bers of the congregation some ugly truths about themselves Is listening for a call. ThB congregation found him guilty of riding a Wcyclo and driving fast horses. Old Hill Vosbure of New Ynrlr wlm pinched a Nebraska ruHIc for $500 In exchange - change for green goods , was discharged by Ilecorder Goff. He thought the farmer should go over the road If 11111 did. Uut the farmer skipped. The statue of Ole null , which tlio Scan dinavians of Minnesota are to erect in Min neapolis , Is being modeled by FJeldc , the Scandinavian sculptor of that city. It I expected that the bronze statue will bo completed in about six months. Sir William Morris' pathetic appeal to Undo Sam not to "stay the hand uplifted for Armenia" proves lilm ta be a poetic taJe twister of no mean ability. More than poetic license ta required to conjure an up lifted hand other than that which coddles the porte. The sweet singer of the classic Kaw oares not for boundary disputes nor the burnishing of Monroeism. The possibility of a foreign fos Invading and ah-slling the abode of the niusa has no terrors for him. Ho has troubles of lily own , and ! this Is lionho tells them amid hot tears : "Oh , bow can I leave theo , my Jewel , My precious one ? " sadly be spoke , Hut the C.IKO wns an urgent one , very , So the diamond was put Into soak. A shocking case of contempt ot court oc curred In-New York the other day. Th ? de fendant In a case called for trial failed to re spond. A capias wa Issued and returned with the endorsement that the defendant had been d-ead six weeks. That the dignity of the court was perilously strained Is putting It mildly. By a heroic effort the court de ferred Imposing adequate penalties for the moiu'trous ' disrespect shown by the defendant. That the president Is Indifferent to tli ? consequences , whatever thy may b ? , Is evi dent. Hints from the white house leave no doubt that he Is fortifying himself for the grave emergency and consecrating himself with great avidity. If you doubt , read thla diagram of a presidential dinner : Oyster cocktail , dark brown cocktail , s&up , fish , roayt goose ( whole ) , breast of North Carolina duck , stuffed beef'a heart , American chops , Canada mutton , tobasco sauco- , plain boiled potatoes with the Jackets on , rlco , turnips , lobster salad , suet pudding , American chsese as eld as the Monroe doctrliio and a pint of black coffee. III.ASTS l.'ltOM HAM'S IIOHtf. Affectation Is trying to mtkn brnss for gold. , A lie never stops running when truth ! ' * > on Us truck. v - When Ilic TvorM can't understand n nin.'J | It calls lihn a crank. It cost about as miicli to bo stingy a * It ' w to bo extravagant. Truth often knocks t the door ot him who lias cars to hear. How easy It Is for n lazy man to prove ( lint luck Is ngnlnst htm. \Vc sometimes pray for more grace , when wl'itt we neeil Is mor * Krlt. The preacher who does not practice all he preaches , preaches too much. A self-matlc man Rcnrrally spoils hl bor In trying to make him like himself. The ihliiRS which do the most to makt us happy cannot b ? hail for money. It Is hard to understand why unassuming P'oplo nro so npt to wear squeaking shoes. If you want your boy to stay on the farm don't make him work with the dullest hoe. When ono man Is heating n furnico for another ho never thinks about the prlco ol coal. _ invi.s. New York Tribune : "What Is she mar- rylnir for money or family ? " "Family , 1 should say. He's a widower , with cloven children. " Brooklyn Life : Kntlior Why did you per mit yotjiiK .Mnshmnn to ! < ! . you In the parlor last nlKht ? IJauuhter-Uccnusc I was ufrnld bo'd catch cold In the hall. Truth : She Why does a woman tnko " Innp * name when t < lie KPS married ? H < > -\\hy doi-s she tnko overythlnu clso ho School World : Sho-T was nfraM you wore KOIIR | to kiss mo then , von pursed up your Tips BO. Ho-0. no. I wouldn't dare do that. I inoroly had some sand In mi mouth. She Don't take It out. It may get Into your system. Detroit Free Press : "Tho worst tyrant possible Is n liberated slave. "hr yes. I micas Hint's the reason BO many devoted lovers mnko such horrid bus. bands. " Doston Transcript : May They tell m your engagement with Clmiley aumplclgh Is broken. How did It happen ? Carrie It was no great mystery. The fact s ho was too trosh to keep ; that's all. Now York Recorder : Lxicy The wretch ! And RO he bns been proposing lo both of us. Jennie It seems FO. Lucy I wish wo could thltiU of porno fearful way to punish Mm. Jemilo I have an Idea. Lucy What It la ? Jennie You marry him , dear. Chicago llccord : Mrs. Bngsby See what n kind husband Mr. HiiKsby Isho bought ils wife n whole outllt of this new alumi nium kltchcnwnrc , Mr. Ungsby Oh , of course he knows It .1 so llRht tlmt when KIC | lilts him with a skillet lie won't mind It. Waslilncton Star : "It's very remarknblp. " said Mr. I'roudpauch , with n satisfied BfHH # i "What Is ? " uelced his wife. "Whenever I sins to the baby It Immedi ately becomes quiet. " "Yes. The llttlo dear Is so easily fright ened. " Chicago Tribune : "And to think , " shrilly vociferated Mrs. Absalom Joyce , when the / family quarrel had reached Itn ncuto atapre , tlmt my wenltli once would luive UroURlit o my feet many a mnii worth a dozen of you ! ] ) ut I thought I wanted you and bmiRlit you ! I simply bought you ! " "You are rluht , my dear , " retorted Alma- cm , jmlo with wrntli. "You paid your noncy nnd you took you Joyce. " SERVED HIM niGIIT. Cincinnati Knqulrer. le knew sbo had a heart of Ice. Yet still ho soiiKht for room within lt | lo thought the place \vnn cool nnd nice , And did , by perseverance , win It. Vnd then ho found out In a trlco Her heart had wanned since ho besought her ; nsteatl of keeping him on Ice , She keeps him always In hot water. NEW YIJAIl'S 1II2I.LS. Philadelphia Tlmon. O changing swells of New Year's bells ! What varied tnles their cadence tells , As over land and over sea They sound the chimes of memory. O love-lit ways of dear , dead days ! O happy thought Hint backward strays To sprlng-tlmo grnco and harvest moona , And autumn hnzo and -wintry noons. O golden notes from Iron Hjrontn ! A worldless messngo on them llonta To friends beloved , whoso footsteps roarnf Far from the luring lights at home. O wraiths that rise In sorrow's guloc ! And question with reproachful eyca Of wasted hours , of vows forgot . And high resolves remembered not. O sobbing bells ! How softly wells The Brlevlng- that life's woo Impels ! List to the walllntr undertone Llko souls oppressed und making moan. O bolls ! thy nong doth volco man's wrong1 , While Justice halts and tarries long. - Hut hark ! e'en now a Bind refrain Hursts through the Bomber minor strain. Peal out. pen ! out the clarion shout. Away with fearl Away with doubt ! We're brothers nil ! nnd morn and more. This truth shall spread from shore to shore. O bells that nwlng nnd proudly slncr Of good the bravo New Year shall bring ! Ooil Brant for all humanity The gracious gift of charity. It's Easy to Unload- When the prices are made right that's the principal reason we're having such mid-holiday trade , There's only two days now before we inventory and if you're looking for a bargain you'll take a look , at least , at our overcoats and suits for men and boys , in which we are making mighty interesting prices , & Co. Browning , King& . H CLOTHU-RS , S. W. Cor , 15th and Douglas Streets.