" < * * . f J"W" PART III , FHE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE i PAGES 17 TO 2O. ESTABLISHED JUNE 19 , 1871. OMAHA , SUNDAY MOHINTN'G , JUNE 2 , 1895 TWENTY PAGES. SINGLE COLT 3TIVE CENT Tomorrow we put on sale 12,000 bolts of Hodae Brothers' nil wool imported , dollar-nnd-u- hnlf quality Dress Good s , Yard from Baltimore inventoried at $9OOOO.OO and sold to wind up the estate by the surviving partner , at an immense sacrifice to Boston Store * The immense quantity of this stock makes it impossible for us with even our , big establishment to put it all on sale at once. Such sales as this have made us famous , and of all the sales we ever held , and all the bargains you ever saw , none could compare with this one for a mirmte. When , for in'sta'nce ' , in all your life did you ever hear of buying dollar 'ahd , a half dressy goods for 2Bc , olTsilks as we offer them to morrow at 39c. It's ridiculous , it's foolish , it's shameful to sell goods worth so much for so little money , and yet , when we buy a stock as filne as this one of Hedge Bro's , and buy it for so little money , it is our pride to be able to say 'Boston Store sells you dry goods at prices that are impossible to any other house in the world. Tomorrow we put on sale 3,000 bolts of Hedge Brothers' Plain and Fancy Silks , the del * lar-aiid-a-half quality N. W. Cor. 16th and Douglas Omaha. From the HODGE ROS. STOCK 10 discs mill cntlri TAWLli DAMASK rnnjrint ; from 1 to 10 yards lontf , uiul In nil ( jrndes up to _ the very finest iu- eluded , go til 15c-25c-35c YAUD. 300 pieces Hedge Bros. TtJUKEY KED DAMASK , 15c Yd 1 cuso 72 inch Burnqley aatln TAIJLE DAMASK , Worth ftt.i-i , tomorrow 59c Yd 250 Do/on Hodje { Bros , hii'tfortt size 11 AT 1 1 TOWELS 29c Stamped Linen Doylies , worth from 15e to 750 , ull now pat terns. go nt nt5c , 10c,15c and 25c. 2.OOO Dozen Hedge Bros. ' L-dlcs Derby Rib Ladles diaped Vests Vests , wltli oinbrul- Bilk ribbon trimmed , duiudnock. pliiu , blue , V neck sqmiro or ClU.ill ) . Ladles Llslo Thread Bilk Embroidered Lndk'Bsuimncr weight union suits Bros ' Entire Stock of Duck Suits in This Sale. A SAILOR HAT FREE WITH EACH DU3K SUIT , SEPARATE DUCK SKIRTS Good width and all colors , | go at U'Je ' Ludics' Duck Suits , made in the latest cutaway Eton , in brown , and black Bhopard plaid , worth $4.00 , go at $2.i3 : Ladles Duck Suits , made in the now Eton or Blazer style , with belt attached and largo o.xidlxed silver buckle , btripos checks gta I and fancy patterns , 5 I worth W.OO , go at 81.60 V Ladies' Duck suits , made of covert lilotb , in correct blazer i.yle | , skirt extra \vldo worth $7.50 go at $3.98 Ladies' Duck Suits , mudo of the 'ft very best French Ducking , Inivll ; * the'latcst styles , Etonsunil Blazers , with large Miilor collars , skirts 4 to G yards around , stripes , cheeks fig ured and covert effects. These suits nro tailor mads and worth $10.00 , go at $4.98 \YIIATSIIALLT11EIIAHVESTBE \ Minister Kurino Discusses the Eesults of Japan's ' Successful War. A RLVO'.UTION IN ASIATC AFFAIRS The iHliiuil of Formosa ml Wlmt Jnpan \VII1 Do wltti It Llilne oConco ton und the New Treaty 1'orU Oppor tunities for Americans. ( Copyrighted , 1S95 , by Frank Q. Carpenter. ) There Is no abler diplomat In Washington than his excellency , Mr. Shlnlchlro Kurlno , the minister from Japan. Ho came to the capital at the beginning of the war between Ills country and China , and he has handled Japanese affairs In a masterly manner. He Is a' man of broad culture , Is full of Ideas , and ho Is less backward in expressing his opinions than many others ot the diplomatic corps. He Is a man of social qualities , and Ms functions at the legation have been among the most noted given there. Straight , well formed and dignified , he has the fea tures und complexion of a Japanese , but his personal appearance Is such as would com mand attention In any company of promi nent men , and he ha/ shown himself to be a living example of the wonderful strength and possibilities of the Japanese people. He Is n man of wide experience. His father was one of the most prominent of the Sam urai in the service of Prince Kuroda and when that prlneo In 1874 sent a number of Japanese youths to America to be edu cated , Mr. "Kurlno was among them. Ho went to school In Boston and graduated the'ro ut the Cambridge law school about 1S81. He then went bak to Japan and en tered the .foreign office , or Department of Btntc ? . He has been 'connected with this olllca In different positions from that tlma until now , when ho has come to the United States to represent his country at perhaps the- most critical time In Its history. He was for a tlmo chief of the bureau ot In ternational telegraphs , and as such was sen ! to Europe not long ago to an Internationa ! conference on the subject. He has been at different times sent to Corea on diplomatic business , and lie was there In 1882 , and In 18S4 , when the revolution occurred , and he was again In Corca Just before the opening of the present war , having been sent there to report to the government as to the situ- ttlon. Knowing as he docs all about his own country and having had a long experi ence as to all matters connected with China there Is no man In the world who Is better fitted to discuss the present situation In the far east. I called upon him the other day it the legation ami nad a long talk regardIng - Ing the settlement gt the war twl "a effect \Hion Japan and the nations of the west The talk was entirely a personal one , ami Minister Kurlno was very particular to rtate that hla views were those ot an Individual that ho spoke only for himself and not the Japanese government , i WHAT JAPAN UOT BY THD WAR. One of my first questions was as to wha Japan got by the war , and as to wha changes the war would make on the face o Asia. Asia.He He replltd : "U will make changes of a rery Important description In Aila. Japar will , ot course , have the Island ot Formosa but us regards the occupation ot tbe main land or any portion ot U , the matter now being the subject ot negotiation ot the mos dellcato nature , It would hardly be propei for me to excreta an opinion on the subject "Th ra iq ono thing , however , that I wouU like to my , and that U as to the mserllor which. BCCUH to have gained some credeuc that the Japanete nation are Mger to as foreign territory. We nrs not land crazy , and we have never striven for colonial acqui sition. Whatever concessions we may have gained from China In this direction are the egltlmato results of the struggle we have vaged with her , either In the extension of errltory which our geographical position ren- lers natural or proper , or by Its acquisition or purposes ot necessary defense against fu- uro attacks. " THE ISLAND OF FORMOSA. "How about Formosa , your excellency ? " I asked. "Does Japan gain much by Its acqui sition ? " "I think it does , " replied the minister. 'Formosa Is essentially a part of a long train of the Japanese Islands. These run from Yezzo down to Nagasaki , then break out a ittlo further below In the Lee Clioo islands , 'ormosa Is a natural part ot this chain. The stand can hardly be called a Chinese prov- nce , except In name. Its Chinese population s not large , and a great many of the In habitants are savages , who live by hunting , and who have long been a menace to all strangers shipwrecked on their coasts. They mve In the past killed Japanese , French , English and Americans , and it Is said that they eat part of the- bodies of their enemies. 'They are not cannibals In the ordinary sense of the word , but they celebrate their victories by feasts of this kind. They tat too their faces and skin , and they are di vided up Into tribes. These men are very fierce , and the Japanese ) , In taking the Island , will contrdl them. Under the Chi nese rule they have been allowed to do as they pleased. You remember In 1872 a Jap anese crew which was shipwrecked on the r coasts was slaughtered by them. We sent an embassy to Peking and demanded re dress , and that the oftendirs bo given up to Justice. The .tsung 11 yariien , or bureau of foreign affairs , said they could not restrain the savages. Our embassy then replied that If they would give the 'Japanese permission to do so that they would control them. This was acceded to , and an expedition was sent from Japan to Formosa. The savages were conquered and subdueUt ' Our men began to make some Improvements , and we Instituted a government over the parts we had con quered. The Chinese at once became alarmed , and they demanded that the Japan ese Icavo Formosa. They were so earnest about It that they paid the Japanese the sum ot 500,000 taels In order to get them to go. In the presentation of the money , It was put on the ground that the Japanese had done work to the amount of the money given In road building , etc. " "Is Formosa a rich country ? " "Yes , It Is very rich , " was the reply. "It has been , at times , called the granary of China. U produces the finest tea , and the rcrmosa tea commands the highest prices In China. It yields great quantities of rice. It has valuable forests , and It Is said to con tain fine sugar-growing territory. It has csal , and Its mineral resources arc as yet un developed. A chain 'of mountains runs through the Island , but It has large alluvial plains , and It Is well watered. It Is In deed a very valuable acquisition. " "What will the Japanese do with It ? " "I do not know , " replied the minister. "Out I presume that It will bo colonized and developed. The government will prob ably offer extraordinary inducements to the people to emigrate tol.lt. Japanese capital will be organized to dtyclop Its resources , and It may bo that > ) thc Japanese ot the Sandwich Islands will/came to Formosa and be Induced to go Into sugar raising there. They know all about the business , you know , from their employment In Hawaii , and they will probably be glad to make the change. The Japanese government has hitherto en deavored to promote tbe colonization ot the Inland of Yeio with some degree of success ; but private enterprise , from lack of capital , and , perhaps , partly from climatic reasons , has not done eo well there. Formosa will prove a more tempting .field for immigration , especially to the Inhabitants ot southern Japan.WILL WILL JAPAN MONOPOLIZE CORHA ? "I suppose the Japanese will monopollzi all concession ! which may be given out foi the development of Corea ? " raid I. 12,000 , BOLTS 42 , 44 and 46-in All Wool Imported Henriettas. All Wool Imported Serges , All Wool Imported Granite Cloth. Silk and Wool French Novelties. All Wool Nun's Veiling& Albatross In Blttclrs , White , Cream and all Now Colors. Worth $1,50 The Dollar Sold by Hedge and a Half for $1,50 Quality , 3000 BOLTS OF SILKS , Their Dollar and a Jlulf Quality Silks in Hlack and Co' . oivd TtifFctn Silks with Beautiful woven designs. SATIN STRIPED TAFFETAS in r.lak and colors. BROCADED TAFFETAS. Fine blaUi Gro.s Grain Silks. Choice figured China Silks on dark grounds , and every shade in Silk Crepe , } Worth Worlh $1,50 $1.50 'It Is not the Intention of Japan to ai > k for any special favors for herself or her people n Corea. The citizens of European nations and those of the United States will have the same chance to get concessions there as will ho Japanese. The probability is that the Japanese will not Invest much in Corea , and hat they will turn their attention more to "ormosa. What Japan has done in tills respect Is to make such concessions possible. n the past the Chinese minister , Yuan , took care to prevent such concessions. I know that several big contracts were about to be et at different times to American capitalists when , from some mysterious cause , they were broken off at the last moment. I have joen told that the Chinese minister was this cause. " COREA'S OPPORTUNITY. 'What has Japan done for Corea ? " I asked. "She has established her Independence and ; lven her a chance to do everything for lerself , " was Minister Kurlno's reply. "From now on It can have the "right to send min isters to such foreign countries as It pleases , and It will take Its place throughout the world as an Independent nation. As to Its future , Japan expects Corea to work that out for herself. She- will be ready to advise and assist , If called upon , and she has given a list of reforms to the king which she thinks should bo inaugurated. The king has promised to do this , but politics are In such a condition and the state of society Is such that his power Is very limited. Already the nobles of the country are clogging his efforts In this direction In many ways. The officials of Corca are degraded and corrupt. They have been living off the people , and they dislike to give up their power. The Augean stables of Corea cannot be cleaned In a day , but Japan has laid out the plan , and If the Coreans follow It they will event ually become civilized. " JAPAN'S ADVICE TO COREA. "Give me some of the reforms whlch-Japan advises the Coreans to make. " "They are many1 repl'ed Mr. Kurlno. "They are being Introduced into Corea at the Instigation and under the supervision of Count Inouye , and If the country and the people will adopt them they will lead to a thorough reorganization of the government and to the prosperity of the people. Count Inouye proposed twenty-two measures of re form. In the first place he advised that the public administration should be directed by one sovereign power , the king. This was to avoid the evils which have been so prevalent on account of the different ministers , and the queen , claiming that they had an almost equal right with the king as to certain classes of public affairs. Another provision modified this power of the Ikng In that It made him bound to respect and obey the laws which were enacted for the government of hi * coun try. Heretofore the king , at the Instigation of his advisers , has changed the laws without due notice , and his servants and himself have sometimes disregarded the laws altogether. Other provisions regulated the establishment of criminal laws uniform In their nature. They put the police authority under one di rection and fixed laws against bribery and Improper taxation. They provided for an organization ot the local officials , to that their exact authority should b ? fixed and that they should work under the central g6vernment. i i "Count Inouye suggested the putting down of political Intrigues , of reforming the army and of sending ctudcnts pbroad to study for eign civilization. One of his suggestions re lated to the royal household and provided that It ihould be entirely separated from the general administration of the government , Ho advised that all public business should be conducted by the ministers and no one In the royal household should have the right to In terfere. All taxes are to be administered by the Treasury department and no tax shouk be Imposed upon the people under any pre text beyond the rate fixed by law. " "This fact. " wtd > llnlster Kurlno , "was a very Important suggestion , Heretofore the king , the queen , the crown prince and all the departments of ( he government have been In the bublt ot . * npctln taxes. They did this vlth law or Justice , and th6 people did not enow what taxes they would have to expect. Count Jnouyc ( suggested that < tlie expenditures of the royal household should be fixed by aw , and his tchemo all told , If carried out , will give Corea a good modern government. " . WHAT JAPAN HAS DONE. . "What has Japan done asj to carrying out heso reforms ? " "It has made It possible < for the Coreans o carry them .out If theyf will , " replied Minister Kurlno. "They ' & ? < { Jiavtng the ad vice and assistance of onej'of the ablest nen ot the far east. No slitesman stands ilgher In my country liart ) Count Inouye. ' Ho ranks with Count Ito a's one of the ; reatest of our statesman. * Ho has held .he most Important posjtlons in our gov ernment. He Is one ofithe chief advisers of the emperor and he sacrificed a great deal when he stepped down from his high posl- : lon and took the office of minister to Corea n order that he might be able to help them In the work of civilization ! Count Inouyo signed the first treaty of peace which Japan made with Corea , about twenty years ago , and ho was connected with the country In nearly every movement In which Japan has been connected with It since then , The most of the reforms which have been pro posed to the Coreans have teen suggested by Count Inouye. Ho has been the adviser of the king and the cabinet In carrying out these new Ideas since the Chinese were driven out of the country. He gives advice , but ho believes that Corea should act for herself. " 'Then It Is not the Intention of Japan to make Corea In any respect tributary to her ? " "No , not In the least,1' replied Mr. Kur lno. "The administration , left entirely with the Coreans. The king'the queen and the Tal Wen Kun. or the king's father , are all concerned In the new administration. A new cabinet has been organized , and It con tains ten members now instead of six , as before. It has Its ministers of finance , war , education and foreign affairs. It has Its secretary of the Interior and other officials , Just as tbe Japanese cabinet has. The cabi net consult with Count Iriouye , and some of them undoubtedly wish to see Corea mod ernized. Others do not , and the desire for personal aggrandizement and personal profit Is a strong element In every question. " WHAT THE WORLD GAINS. "What has Japan done for the world In this war ? " "I think It has done a great deal , " replied the minister. "It has made a number of ex periments In the arts of war which w.ll benefit the other nation * In their wars of the future. It has tested the value of modern boats and guns. It ha t given the world a number of new avenues * of trade In China. By the terms of peace , as I have seen them , the Chinese now agree to allow all kinds of machinery to be Imported Into their coun try. They consent to fallow foreigners to establish and to engage In manufacturing Industries. Japan did not ask these things solely for herself. She demanded them for the world , and they are more to the ad vantage of the United States and Europe than they will be to Japan. We do not , atf yet , make machinery for export. It Is doubtful whether we ever \tl\l. \ The Amer- Iqans make sonic of yie best machinery ot the world , and one ot' their chief articles of export Is machinery. .On the above lines such development as octura In China will be largely through Europe and America. The other concessions demanded ot China were also fully as valuable for the United States and Europe as for Japan. Take the deepening ot the river which leads to Shanghai. The ships ot all the world will sail up that river , and the opening- the new ports will give the whole world- access to vast cities and to million * ot people. The new territory opened toirado by this treaty Is one of the richest of tlie Chinese emp re. It comprises a number of cities and towns. It contains , It Is said , a population of nearly 200,000,000 , and a vast trade ought to be de veloped from It. The yangtse Klang U opened up to Chun-King , and foreigners wll be able to go farther Into China ( bun the ) ever have before. " © IV $6 , $8 , ffilO $6 , $8 , 10 Hats Hats for All go at .3 98 13. Choice of l.OOO Regular $6 , S8 and $10 Bats , The chance evpry woman la waiting for-the ctlnnco to pnrchaso r abhlonablo and Artistic HAT for the popular price of ti 9S That chnr > l > HOSTON STOUE this week The a-.sortim-nt omtlrBOPS Inrpo Mress Huts , medium red Hat . -Toques , Uutch llonnets , ? Hound Hath j all the latent Hiimmpinriv Hie" } ' As for frjpvmiitcrlal uwd ; they me the bect n "buy The t bbons , mi l.-ice.s aie warranted all silk , and the ( lowers ami liVf6itheis aie all from the most famous French maker ! . . No two OIII > H nf 0 hWO > \ , ' They Need No Urging1 to Buy. Come. with Japan. Does It give the Americans many more advantages than they now have ? "Yes , Indeed , " replied the minister. "Uy t citizens of the United States can go to any part of Japan and cnnago in business. They can establish manufactures and trade di rectly with the people. Heretofore they have jesn conflneJ to the open ports , and the nest of their business had to be clone hrough the Japanese government. They caji now lease property , and from now on Japan will be open to American manufactures. " AMERICAN CAI'ITAL , IN JAl'AN. "Is 'Japan a good Held for the Investment of American capital ? " "In some respects , I think , yes. Factories could bo built by foreigners In Japan to use Japanese labor to make articles for export to America. The Japanese buy a great deal of nachlnery , and more American machinery should bo shipped to Japan. What the United States needs to do business with us Is ewer freight rates. As It Is , we use millions of dollars' worth of your cotton every year. Our cotton mills are rapidly Increasing , and our consumption of American cotton will In crease , as It Is of a special kind , anJ wo need it to mix with the cheaper cottons which we get from China and India. At prc.'ent. however , it comes to us via Liver pool. If the Pacific lines would make special rates It could bo shipped by San Francisco. If the 'Nicaragua canal is opened the United States will probably ship direct through It. I am surprised that Americans do not study the Japanese market. The people here are so rich and they have such a vast trade among themselves that they have not yet begun to consider the trade outside of their own boundaries. In order to do business with the Japanese your merchants and fac tories must study the Japanese people and their wants , and when they do that they will probably supply them with many other things than machinery. " THE JAPANESE AS MACHINISTS. "Can the Japanese use machinery equally well with the people of the United States ? " "Yes , " was the reply. "The Japanese are a nation of mechanics. They take naturally to machinery and use It gladly. All over Japan foreign labor-saving Inventions are creeping In. Silk Is now reeled and woven by machinery. We make our own railroad cars , and we have made some locomotives. Nearly all the arms and munitions of war which were used during the recent cam paigns with China were made In Japan , and wo are almost doubling our cotton machin ery every year. " ASIATIC LABOR. "What do you think of the future of the Asiatic labor market In competition with ours ? Can we successfully compete with you ? " i\\\ \ . , "On our 'c attYBfoynu1 perhaps not , " was the reply. ' ' .I\lt \ { I see nothing- alarm the American laliorer In the possibilities of the future. You h te.been competing here for years with the cheapest labor of Europe. You have had the Belgians anil the Ger mans to fight , and you have conquered again and again. The Americans are people ple of wonderful Inventive brains. No mat ter how cheap the labor of the rest of the world In any line of work , the American gets up a machine which will do It cheaper , and. you have such vast aggregations of capital that you can organize undertakings on a scale which U practically beyond com petition , Take your great Iron works. Take the Carnegie works , for Instance. They buy In such vast quantities that they can cut all expenses outside those of labor to the minimum , I believe the Americans will always hold their own. They cannot work so cheaply nor live so cheaply as wo do , but they can turn out a greater product. An other thing Is that there Is bound to be a great demand from Asia for American raw materials. Cotton Is one of these and lum ber Is another. As to machinery , I doubt whether we will ever be a great machine- making nation. We have plenty of coal , and we ship vast quantities of It to China and India. We have not yet , however , dis covered largo enough deposits of Iron tc much machinery. The Iron w"'havo Is of a very fine quality , but bo far It has not been discovered In large quantities. It may bo that wo will find mines In Yezo. " THE JAPANESE AS INVENTORS. "Speaking of Invention , Mr. Kurlno , It Is iftcn said that the Japanese are mere copy- sts , that i hey never Invent nor Improve anything , but merely copy. Is thla so ? " "No , It Is not. The Japanese are to a certain extent creative. The gun which Is used by their soldiers today was the In vention of a Japanese. It Is true that they can copy and Imitate anything , but they are > y no means slavish Imitators. They take he best modern Inventions and combine them and they form new products. You must remember that they knew nothing of thla civilization which they have now adopted a generation ago. What you have been building up for centuries Is all new to them. After hey thoroughly understand It and your wants , rou may then look out for such Inventions as will supply them. The Japanese are a icoplo of Ideas , and they are always ready : o adapt to their own wants what they find good In others. " "What about the future civilization of Japan ? Will It bo purely occidental ? " "No , I think not. It will bo a comblna- lon of HIP best of the Occident and the orient adapted to fit the Japanese character and needs. We find this so In many lines. There is a strong tendency In Japan to stick to the old things wherever they are best , and n omo directions I have no doubt but that the old Is the better. " RELIGION IN JAPAN. "How about religion In JapanJ'.What ' are Ihe missionaries doing , anJ Is "there any pros pect of Christianity ever bepomlng'the re ligion of the Japanese people ? " "Who can tell ? " replied the minister. "Tho Japanese are fanatically wedded to their old beliefs. Many of the better classes , notably those who have traveled much In Christian countries , are practically agnostics as far as either Buddhism or Christianity Is concerned. They might be called free thinkers. "Tho missionaries have done a great work In Japan. They have made many converts , and It Is a curious thing that the Japanese Christians prefer to have their own churchco and to bo Independent of foreigners. They like to map out their own religious lines anl to pray and think for themselves. You remember the discussion of the Drlggs ques tion , which tore the Presbyterian churches of the United States almost asunder sotne tlmo ago ? This question found Its way out to Japan , and the native Christian pastors got together and discussed It. They shook the dust out of the Thirty-nine Articles , and they were by far more rigid than the op ponents of Dr. Brlggs in their Ideas of lib erality. I think there Is a possibility that the Christian religion may at some tlmo KO grow aa to bo one of the great religions of Japan. Already some of the Christian churches have been discussing the ncndlng of native Japa nese Christian missionaries to Corca and China. " THE SANDWICH ISLANDS. "By the way , your excellency , returning to the war question , how about the Sand wich Islands ? I > It truti that the Japanese are seeking to acquire llieinV" "No ; emphatically no , " , spiled Minister Kurlno. 'Tho Japancio nennr had any such Idea , nor have they a deilre/tO own Hawaii. The Japanese who emigrated there did no on the special solicitation ct the government and the people of the Sandwich Inlands. They were accorded special privilege * , were told they would have the rights nf citizen- > hlp and were assured that they would not be triedIn the court * without an Interpreter who understood their own language wag there to cpeak for them. Japan wants nothing of the Sandwich Hlamln , except that they be protected In accordance with the treaty which was made at that time. " "How about a possibility of a union o the Asiatic nations at agalnat tbe Occidents ones ? " "There may be , but It depends entirely upon clrcumstancei , the force of which can pot at pre ent be nccXtmaly QtlttMed , and 1 000 yards plain blue. lros" > durk , worth. 2' .r , go at l.ODO jurds soft fin- hcd mull , worth Wo * " ! o nt All grades of plain hcnrlcttu uutco 5c Apron check Rlngv hams , woith She , gent nt 3c ! 5,000 Nurds of plain colored cashmere * worth IDc , go nt 4c Plain corded dimi ties , worth 13c , go at Very line Scotch Klngham , nil new patterns , woith 20cv SO ut ut6lc 1.000 new French fancy figured sateen. BO ut 1,000 yards 40 Indira , wldn apron lawns * worth 25c , HO nt All HodRo Bros. * dtichcs.Mo Jaconet , new patterns , worth 15c KO at I lOc Yard. concerning which , therefore , It cannot at > resent bo safe to make any prediction. " I'lt.tTTLK Or Till ! Ho was a bright Omaha boy 0 years ot age , and when the doctor called on his third visit to his sick Infant s ster , lie said to. ilni , "Doctor , I know what will euro my llt- lo wee wee sister. " The doctor naturally asked what It was and was told In reply i 'If Jesus was on earth , If ho only touched. his hand to my little sister , she would , bo well. " Kindly Old Gent Ah , little girl , are you , going somewhere ? Little Girl ( with amazing superiority ) Ot course I am , You don't suppose I could go lowhere , do you ? "Ma , that llttlo baby across the street hasn't any teeth. " "Of course not , Tommy. You didn't havo. any when you were that small. " "But that baby's pa Is a dentist. " "How would you conjugate the verb to Me , pa ? " asked Johnny. "Hike , boke , biking bak , " said Mr. Know- Hall. "Can you remember that ? " "I guess bo , " said Johnny. "Hike , buck , , broken back. Is that It ? " Teacher Can you tell me , Johnnie , why- Satan goes about the earth llko a roaring ; lion ? Johnnie Cause ho can't cut any Ice In tho- place where ho lives when he's to home. Tommy's Pop Well , my boy , how high are you In school ? Tommy Oh , I'm away up. My class Is oa the top lloor. A Mount Washington school teacher toldl her pupils to write a sentence containing the > word toward. This Is what one small bojif produced , after a great deal of mental exorw tlon : "I toreJ my pants yesterday. " H'lllSff I A3l-ll.ll.lt. "A Dnchclor Judge" In ChlcnKo OH Iron. When I am bald , and oh ! how soon * Will nature take from mo Unit boon. . And leuva u gaping world to sturo On this j * > or head without n lialr ? Let me , ere youth IH gone , bo called Down to the grave before I'm bald. When I am bald the verdant spring" To me no scenes of Joy will brlnx : Nor will the Hong-bird's gentle luy Muke glad for me the summer's day Nor llowery dell , nor Mindy wuld i. . Can cheer my heart when I urn bald. When I am bald the mother dear Will tell her daughter look with feart Heforo she plights her lava to one Unlfss IIC'H rich whose 1mIr hi Konu ; > Ilefore her life becomes enthralled As serf to htm whoso head IH bald. Ere I nm bold , oh ! let mo stray In pleasure's pnthH my Ilfo nway ; Hut when the tfliizf comes on my head Then have me numbered with the dead For Joy and youth can't bs recalled , \ , I know too well , when I um bald. ' T.ct me be gray. I'll dye my heud , In liny color , lilack or red , Hut leave , ye god ! a few thin pprart To crown my knob and hide my ear * . Keep from this head that ugly xrald ' Thnt makes mo old because l'ia bald. Olve rue rheumatic * , cramps or gout , Hut don't U-uvo this poor head wlthou A nnlr to ave It from the Illcx , Or shade It from tli Rummer iskles. Oil I let me die eiu I'm Inutall'd With wicked men whose heads ore bal < lint why rwel th certain fnto That comes to nio t men cnon or later Ht-raiiPfc we know that Cupld'a dart Will not ba pointed at the lionrt , When maiden's vision Is appalled ) ) y hall UPS head that's liUnl ( and bolt U U the wolf In tlipep'n clothing- that 1 the tharpMt IcctU.