Till ? OMAHA DAILY HEEjriW Kl'iN FiS PKCBMBKH 2I > , 1802 ; THE DAILY BJflE. M. lUJHKWATKIt , Udlfor. ) HVKHY MOUNINO. OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE CITY. TKIJMH 0V St'USClttl'TlON. ' Dfilly lloofitllhout PiimlnyiOiio Ycnr I fl 00 Dnllv nml Suml'iy , Ono Year . 1" < > < ' 81 * MOMIM. . . . , . . . p' ' ' " Tlirco Moulin. . . . . . 60 Hiimlny Iloe , One \ .t oar . * on Fnturdny lire. OIIP'nr. ( . . . J { ) Weekly lice , Ono Vrnr . * oo oiTioK9. Omnhn , Tlip HOP ItulldliiK. fntilli Uninlw , rornur N nnil 20th Streets. Council HlntlX 12 IV'.irl Street. riilrniroOIJH'p , 317 ClimnlM-rof Comtnyrfie. Now Vork , Uoouis 13 , 14 and IB , Tribune WnsliuiRlon , 513 roiirtppntli Street. COUWHI'ONllKN0H. : All rointntmlralloiiH rolathiE to HOWS nnd odltorlnlinntlor should lie addressed to the Editorial Department , nrsiNKSS I.ETTT.U9. Allbttolncps letters nnil remittances sliould lie riddrcpM-d to Tim llco I'ubll.shliiK Company , Omnlin. Drafts , chocks nnd postolllco orders to bo inmlo payable to tliu order of tlio com pany. THK HEK PUnUSIHNO COMPANY. BWOKN STATEMKNT OF OlUOUIiATION Btato of NobrasUn , I Counlynf Ilouglas. f npnrco 11. T7hc1iuck. secretary of TIIH. IJr.R I'liblMilnff company , < W solemnly swear that llioneltinrclrciiliitfoiiof Tun UAII.V lien for tlio week cmllns DvceniborU-i , 1892 , was as fol lows ! _ . . . „ „ Sunday. Jcceinlpr ) IB . SS-P-i1 ? Mondriy , Deppniber HI . 23.094 Tuesday. DccPinber SO . 22-SI' ' , ' Wednesday. December 21 . S2J5i Thursday , December 21 ! . 32'oSa rrlday , tccfmlier ) U3 . H'Sr ? Halitrday , IK-combor 21 . 24,701 unoitOK it. T/.SOHUOK. Bworn to liofoio mo and subscribed In my prcM-nco this .Mill ilny of neconibor , 1H92. [ Seal ] N. 1' . rKll. , Notary I'ublle. AvrniRo Circulation lor Noviiinlicr , ao.onil. Till ! question of the hour is , what did Santa Glaus leave in Jerry Simpson's shoos ? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ THK pi-ophooy of Popn Lee that aviir cloud will boon { father in Europu la perfectly - foctly Kixfe. War always hns ton chances where pence hns ono in the lottery of European politics. IT is not nlono In Omaha that juries require discipline. A Chicago jury recently - contly failed to bring in a proper ver dict because the judge refused to order liquor nnd cigars for tholr entertain ment. THE incroiiso in the capital stock ol ibo South Omaha Stock Yards companj to 86,000,000 indicates the expansion of a local concern that is certain to hocomo in ft few years the g ; oatost of its kind in the world. IT is evident that Adlai K. Stevenson docs not know that the campaign is ended. Ho is still making speeches about 'the "force bill , " which was dropped long ago by every other demo crat in the country. THE latest news from Kmln Pasha is that ho in still alive , despite the roper that ho was dead. Brain has boon dea < and alive so many times that ho ough to bo able -to answer some interesting theological questions. REDUCED cost of production alway cuts down the price of a commodity Per example , in 1835 aluminum was worth $90 a pound , but it can now bo had lor 70 cents a pound , and is being put to practical use in many ways. This , of course , is an extreme case , but it illus trates the principle , IT is said that Colonel North , the "nitrate king , " has so much money that ho does not know what to do with it , and that ho thinks of investing in min ing interests in this country. As coal mining is now so unprofitable , according to the testimony of those who control it , perhaps ho had bettor invest in Ameri can.coal mines and relieve the poor coal barons fruin impending ruin. THE United States fish commission has for scvoral days been distributing email fry from this city to various point in the stito : for stocking the public waters , which oncouratjes the hope thai the labors of the state fish commissior will soon begin to show practical re suits. Perhaps the lime is not far dis tnnt when Omaha's supply of finny doll cacios will not bo entirely imported froii Chicago. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ K Liberator Building society scan aal in England is almost equal to thi Panama scandal in Franco. In some nv spools it is oven worse , for the million of dollars stolen in Kugl.ind robbed the poor of their savings aud did not geat ly affect the rich , while the groa Panama dual involved both rich am poor. It bugins to look as if public trus and public robbery were closely nllioi in Franco and England. THE Mexican govorumont , it is said prooosos to make mi effort to socur emigrants from Europe , in the oven of this country suspending immlgra tion. Mexico can olTor some induce men IB to immigrants , but very likol she would have an oxporionoo slmlla to that of Canada in the business of pro motlng immigration. Most of the poc nlo who accepted the opportunity to gi Moxlco would eventually llntl tholr wa ; into the United Stales. IT is customary to invite all of th functionaries of the royal household I n full-dress dinner on the occasion c the quoon'h birthday , and although th late Lord Tomiyson was regularly ir vlted for forty-two yours ho never at tended , JIo was comfortable in th loose and lll-llttlng garments which h habitually were , but would doubtloa have boon very miserable in a dree suit. Ho was about as far from being dandy us our own Joaquin Miller HON. PAUL SCUIMINKE , whoso deal is chronicled from Nebraska City , wi ono of the best known and rospeotc Gormun-Amorlcans in this state. I was highly esteemed among nil class of citizens , and at various times occ .pled positions of honor nnd trust wl < marked ability and commendable lldi ity. Ho had boon repeatedly elected the stiito semite , nnd was at the time his death mayor of Nebraska City , the growth of which town ho had ca tributod very largely by his ontorpri and public spirit. By his death t : etato has loat a valuable citizen. T/l l * MfASr IIKO/.V . lltailT. ThopooploolNobrnsknurolooUlnjrfor- word with gro.it interest , If nut nnxloly to the opening of tlio legislature which onvenos at Lincoln next Tuesday. Very much depends upon the ehnrnulor f tlio ollleors chosen to prosldoovornnd < oop record of the proceedings of the wo houses , The lieutenant governor is by the con- tltutton made the presiding ofllcer of ho soirnto. The corporations nnd job * jora have n powerful ally in the chair it the coming session , who will lese no pportunity to block legislation they consider detrimental to tholr interest , 'or ' this reason the choice of acting irosldont nnd secretary of the scnnto vho are not in collusion with the oil- room gatif * will bo of the utmost impor- nnco. The secretary of tlio souixto and clerk of the housun.ro almost as potential is the lieutenant governor 'and speaker of the house. They can retard and block ; oed legislation nnd expedite jobs and' teals by mislaying , pigoon-hoUng or garbling resolutions , bills and orders , i'ho clerks of tlio two houses are in posi tion to dunnlnllnltoamount of mischiefs TIio most infamous jobs nndteats that lave boon perpetrated in former legls- .atlvo sessions have boon pulled through by the help of dishonest clerks. If the legislature wants to muko a clean record It must give u wide berth to the professional pigeon-holers and log-rollers of the Wait Suoloy and Tom Cook brand , The scnnto shouldby all moans , ninko up Its own committees , whether stand ing or special. And the house should reserve the right to revise the list of its most important committees whenever the majority may deem it advisable. The choice of speaker should bo made with duo regard to capacity and previ ous record. No man should bo placed in the spo liter's chair who la known to have strings tied to him cither by cor porations , contractors' combines or spe cial into.ros.ts. IIo should go into the chair frno from all incumbrauco. By this wo mean frco from pledges with re gard to the mako-np of committees or patronage at his disposal. Above all things ho should bo a man who has never trained with ringsters and public plunderers. This quality is of much more importance than his profession of any political creed. If the legislature makes a pond start half of the bnttlo for good government will be won at the outset. OPl'OSEU 7V Ono of the largest and fattest monopo lies in the country is the elevator ring at Buffalo , which has a profit out of about nil the grain that , goori to Now York from the west. This ring is now greatly disturbed over the prospect that n , shl ] > canal will bo built to connect the great lakes with the sea so that grain and all other products shipped from the west can bo sout through to tide water without breaking bulk. Lilco many other powerful monopolies it has a newspaper organ , and tho. Buffalo Courier seems just now to ba overtaxing Its strength in its efforts to prove that the ship canal project is not feasible. The most absurd of all the arguments put forth by the journal nnmod is the grave and solemn Ubsorllon that inas much as grain in transit is liable to boat and spoil it is necessary that it should bo aired by being hoisted into the ele vators whoso interests it so zealously represents. This idea luw struck Tun BUB as supremely ridiculous , but it has also the authority'of ono of the most ex perienced grain dealers of Omaha for a.iy- ing that grain would go to the seaboard much more safely without than with tho-sorvico of the elevators , as it would bo less liable to injury if kept in bulk in the holds of good vessels than if it wore taken out at Buffalo or nnywhoro else. This would bo theca o in warm weather especially , as a ship's cargo is below the water line and is therefore kept at a cool and even temperature. It has been ! demonstrated that grain shipped down the Mississippi in barges la much less frequently damaged than tha t shipped by rail. It does not need to go throng ) an elevator and whether western grain is transitpped ! into cai-a or canal boats at Buffalo it is onlj subjected to risks which would bo avoided if it wont through to the sea without being did tin-bod. n- As to the argument that the proposed n10 whip canal would ba oxninslvo , th it is 3- entirely without force wlion it is ramom 1S ! bored that it would save an enormous 10 sum of money that is now wasted , SOUK of It in elevator charges at LJull'nlo llt What the people want is cheaper trans id portation , nnd they are trilling1 to pa idst st for if that is to say , they are willing tc 3d put their money where they know thai it will bring them good returns In due time. Tt Is to bo oxpaotod that the oln vator ring , the Vandorbllt roads mu every ether interest that would sullo by the carrying out of this projout wil light it bitterly , but that shoul _ only mnko Ha success tin more cortiin. : An ample waterway V ar the Atlantic is demanded , and it isgrat o- ifying to note that all the pro-id and i-k- Buotion of the country which it woulc 10- directly affect Is rapidly becoming n trail oncd to its importanco. Postmaster General Wuntumikor sul lie mils another convincing argument i toof his annual report in favor of a postn of telegraph system , but unfortunatol ho there is very small probability that n- will make any impression upon th t10 present congress. What the sontimoii 10 of the Flfcy-third congress may bo o lie thlsmibjoot it is usuloss to surmise , bi ISS if the party coming into power March 'S3 next carries out its nromlso to rogar the wishes of the people It will glvo th country postal telegraphy. It is not 1 bo doubted that tlio great majority the puoplo desire It The postmaster general is entire correct when ho says that"tho govor Client will never properly do the post 'work committed to it until it connoc electricity with the service , and tl.er fore he advocates the utilization of bo ; the telegraph and the telephone. 1 characterizes as an antiquated anbiini the existing method for all postal coi munloation , when uwiroanda tologrni Instrument for the needed quick mi sages might connect the major part present , "but there In another consider able part that nooks quicker transit that does not find convenient the 10,000 mil- road telegraph offload , oftoti distant from villains , that tloos not find the lologrnph tnrlff within the roach of working people. " The plan of the postmaster - master gonor.il does not contain- plato the ownership of tulogrnph lines by the govorumont , nor nn increase of federal ofilcos or ofllcor.s. It does not re quire any outlay of capital by the gov- eminent. It simply proposes that the government shall make a contract with somp telegraph company to connect postofllcoj by telegraph or telephone , conimoncincr with the most important ofllciis ilnd proceeding gradually In the order of probable usefulness. The tele graph company would perform thtf service with its own operators for a fixed sum per message , which sum the postomco department would charge the i public , adding u sin ill charge for de livery. . The advantages of such a system have been so oflon presented that tlio public ought to bo entirely familiar with thorn. Postal lolegranhy contemplates a very much cheaper service fen- nil who should desire to use this moans of communica tion , and a very much bettor service. It. . would reduce the average cost of telegraphing by at loust one-half nnd it would insure the promptest possible delivery. It would enable a very much greater number of people to use the tele graph than now do so. It would bo a benefit to all classes of the population. This is not a mere conjecture. It finds authority in the experience of England and other European countries where postal telegraphy prevails. Especially in England is the testimony most conclu sive as to the advantages and general benefits of the system. Its effect has been to vastly increase correspondence among the people , and it hns become a source of revenue to the government. There Is no reason why the postal telegraph system cannot bo made equally successful hero , and with this prnctic.il consideration disposed of thorn remains no objection to the system that is worthy of serious attention. There ought to bo a very earnest expression of public opinion on this subjoctwhlch has very close relation to the interests and welfare of the whole people. COXTIXKXT.il , FHKB T/f.lOK. According to Mr. Erastus Wimnn' , whoso testimony in the mat tor is wor thy of considerate attention , Canada is ready for continental free trade. Ho scouts the idea of annexation as being unattainable within a quarter of a cen tury , oven if then , and only to ho brought about by revolution or consti tutional moans , neither of which conditions ho thinks can hap pen. Continental free trade , how ever , lie regards as at least an early possiuility. without seri ously interfering with existing pro tected interests , and no looks upon such a policy as containing the greatest ad vantages for both the Dominion and the United States. As to England he be lieves she would consent to continental free trade because of the "enormous vantages that How to her from the de velopment of the United States com pared with the menpro results that have followed the arrested development in her own possessions on the same conti nent. " Mr. Wiman has for years boon a per sistent and most intelligent advocate of this policy , but it is by no means ap parent that he has succeeded in con- - vineiii r any considerable number of the ruling classes in Canada that it is what tUoy need for the progress and development of that country. Neither the preceding nor the present govern ment of the Dominion has given any in . timation of a desire to make any very great departure from the pres ent economic policy of the country. The platform upon which Sir John MacDonald mndo his last campaign did not contemplate any such thing nnd the representatives of the Canadian govern ment who went to Washington wild a ] iow to reciprocity negotiations did not iroposoanything looking in tlio direc- 3 ion of continental free trade. On .tho ontrary the government party in Januda has for several years made it s- ory plainly understood that it is deter- nincd to maintain the policy of pro- octing tlio industries of tlio country ind the men in power have justified boir position in this respect on the ground that England would not tolerate 10 or consent to anything different. . It is undoubtedly true that the ngri 3- cultural producers of Canada , almost t 3V i man , desire- free trade for their pro- o lucts , and in order to secure this the it would doubtless support the policy si 10 earnestly and eloquently urged by Mr 3- Wiman , but they are not in the r.i 3d lority. The controlling classes an ; ho manufacturer ! * , the railroad cot Jill porations , and the capitalists , and e Id tar as appears these are practically 10 unit in favor of maintaining the exist to Ing economic policy , mnu'iliod only as t ( its bearing upon natural products uh The American people would not bo sal Id Ibflod with a Irailo arrangement tha Idk went no further than Canada lias tlui far shown a willingness to go. It Is nc alone the manufacturing industries o the United States that are concerned h ib- the question of freer trade with the Da in minion. The farmers of this countr ; inal al have something nt stake in the di ly termination of this question , and it wl it i need very strong argument to convinc ho thorn that they would bo boncflte * I nt any trade po ley that the Canadian go\ 311 ci'iimont has thus far proposed. 311Ut Continental tree trade is a plonsliij l-l theory , but at present there nro gra\ rd. difllcultlcs in the way of putting it int lie practical elloct. Concessions would I to necessary on both sides which probubl toof of neither is prepared to make , and dcspl the opinion of Mr. AViman to the co trary England Is the greatest obstac rii- le the realization of such a policy. tal eta THK St Louis Lumbcrnutn , ono of tl re- loading journals devoted to the lumbi ith business , has nn article concerning tnu Ho in that line in Omaha which shows th the lumber dealers of this city ha' m done n prosperous busin'css during tl ipl past year. It has boon the host year IOS the whole history of the trade in th to city , Although margins have boi tha small on accouiit of cuts in prices ai a unsatisfactory freight rates , the lurj volume of busies lias boon proportion iitoly grcnt , idntmlant nnd early hnr- vests Rnvo tlio'1 ' fill-mars the tnoana nml the llmo to bufjtf Jiuff outbuildings nml repair oM onognrirt they Irivo been liberal patrons of the litmbor dealers this yenr , Collections haty 'hocn remarkably good and purclmsorsflf lumber have In alargo number of cases1 jihld cash and tnkon ad- vnnlapo of the discount. As a rule the country dcalorS are In good slmpo finan cially and are no compelled to ask for oxtomidns. Hoforonco Is made to the chnrgo that tli'p ' Fremont , Elkhorn & Missouri Valley railroad is discriminat ing against Omaha and in favur of St. Paul on lumber rales and it is stated that the local dealers are ignoring that road altogether * . Tnc showing made for the lumber trade In this city Is upon the whole romarknbly good , and this has a special significance as indicating that the building Interest , particularly In the small towns and rural districts , Is in a nourishing condition. The best proof of the prosperity and growth of the ngrleultural interest upon which the development ol the stulo U chiolly dependent is found in the fact that the farmers arc constantly and rapidly add ing to the number of their buildings and that they are able to pay for the lumber required for that purpose. TDK future of Speaker Crisp depends Inrcoly upon whether an extra session of congress is hold or not. If Mr. Cleveland refuses to call nn extra ses sion It will bo inferred that ho is op posed to Crisp , and that an organized opposition to him will bo formed bcforo the next regular session. He will nlmo&t certainly bo elected If nn extra session is called. This , at least , is the state of the case according to a demo cratic congressman who is supposed to know what ho is t-ilking about. It will hardly bo creditable to Mr. Cleveland to refuse to call an extra session for no bolter reason than that of his supposed porfaonal animosity towardoao man , and wo are not quite prepared to believe that ho would go so far as this to defeat the present spoaicer. Sicc'UKTAHY FOSTUR continues to hold out , the assurance to. the financial and business interests of the country that there is no reason for alarm as to the condition of the treasury. The outflow of golu during three weeks has reduced the government supply only 84,000,000 , and the secretary does not anticipate a continuance of gold exports at the recent rate. Should ho bo dis appointed in thisohowovor , and bo con fronted with tha danger of the gold reserve falling vb'qlovv the legal limit , ' ho hns authority 'to sell bonds to obtain gold. In sueliL'iUi exigency there can bo no doubt that t.ho holders of gold would readily thkO all the bonds which it would bo necessary to sell in order to maintain the credit of the govern ment. . . . . THK failure of tlje committees of the senate and house of representatives to agree upon a plait of legislation regard ing immigration' suggests the proba bility that Uioro.wlU bo a pretty lively contest over this subject when congress reassembles. It is apparent that the domouiats generally do not favor the idea of a total suspension of immigra tion , and if anything is done it will bo in the shape of n compromise. A thorough national system ol quarantine would be nn ample precaution ugaln&t a cholera invasion. - SOUTH AiiBiiiCAN news that does not report a prospective revolution or sorno other warlike movement is generally unlnte-csting. The latest dispatches bring the promise of two events of this character , ono between Uruguay and a province of Brazil , and the other in the ArgentineKopublic. There seeing to . bo a constant spirit of unrest in the southern republics which affords bound less opportunities to usurpers , revolu tionists and political adventurers. Tilt ) I'alulliui Srainliil. A'cir York .Idrcitttcr. Franco is having a serious time with her knavish ofllcchoUlers , but it must bo i-uincm- bcrcil Unit this republic lived down the Credit Moullicr scandal. Supply anil Drimiml. ( llolic-Democmt , - When Cleveland becomes President again - ho will Ilnd 21,000 more oillces to 1111 than , there were at the beginning of Ills former term ; but then bo will also ilnd at least 50,000 nioro democrats who want them. An Kinply .ilfimce. The upstartisli Dominion ministers can gr ito on building gun boats nnd revenue cutters to < but if they do not do something to check the - l-.cgriaof Canadians to the United States they will have no ono left to man them u fo\\ y ; years hence. iOr. Display i > T I > umocratlf : Calibre. r. JVfiiiifd'Kilfs Trtlniiie. ire Twenty-one democratic members of tin ro committee of arrangements for Mr. Clove land's inauguration have resigned because t ir- irso number of republicans were added to tin so < committee. In their opinion Mr. Clevelam sea is lo ho president of the democracy ; no president of the United States. I- Ito to toS fit w V/tl l > , Cain in trelul , The Increase ht'ithu pensions of Moxicai lilt war veterans ami 'their ' widows voted 01 lt Monday last inerc'i's'is ' the total cost of pen us slons over l,000IJl > Ua , year. We infer froii usot this that the Miytjfjan pension list , whicl scatters money mostly below Mason am of Dixon's line , isn't Who included in the purg ill ing process. - ' ' _ 0- The liny Stilu and llc'i-.Srnntors , 0y /loiliii News. lo- After many yeaii'Ai of honorable and ofl cient .service in tbo halls of congress the vei 111 erablo gentleman from PIttslicl'i will spoil eo the rest of his days In the retirement of pr vato life , carrying rath him the respect an best wishes of thqlWjholo community , regan IV- less of party. Ho ( , has , been a worthy siu cessor to such mem jis Webster and Sumnu and Wilson , and ho sis ono of the very ein men now living whrt Wore ideiitllled with th .vo politics of the sta'to and nation bo fore th to commencement of the civil war. In the selection of his successor Massaohi bo suits must not and will not take any bud : wml top. Thp hlffh fttnmlnnl act by tlonft HUP ot able nnd patriotic1 men must be preserved served MftSsachuiett * * lmn over led In the councils of the mitten , and her senator * have always exercised an Influence second to none In the senate chamber. A Hint to rldditttil' * I'liot t'rlrnili. jVcip Yttflt Sun. There Is only ono democratic1 candidate for speaker of the next house , and his name Is Charles F , Crisp. lie comes from Georgia. He has been engaged for the past year or moro In demonstrating his high Illness far the ofllco with which the party honored him at the beginning of the Fifty-second congress - , gross , Wo have never heard that Speaker Crisp Is a candidate for re-election , In the personal sense ; but ho Is all the same the candidate , and the one candidate of iwlltlcal common sense , democratic harmony and hope , and decent regard for the precedents and proprieties that govern tbo caucus arrangements - rangements of a well conducted ] > olltlcal or ganization like the democratic party. Don't Look l.lko 1'iKlnn , .Ulium Xnet , The fusion scheme between the democrats and populists to control the coming session of the legislature Is meeting with consider able opiwsit ion , The leaders and olllceseek- ers arc balked in their evil designs by a number of honest and conscientious mem bers-clod who take a higher view of politics than to merely act as tools for boosting some one into oflice. There are ten or a dozen Independents - dependents who take the position that to tie up with the democrats now Is to wreck the chances for their party in the future. There may be a fusion , but the chances cannot bo said to look favorable at the present writing. If They Un Srn-lhlc. T Mn 7VI/HIHC. / In our legislature the republicans , though they have no 'majority , are stronger than either of the other parties , and undoubtedly can got a majority. If they propose really good measures. This will induce sensible and liberty loving men of the other parties to Join them. If the republicans are sensible they have a good chance to recover In the state a majority , if not < iulto so largo as formerly , but a good sound majority that no fusion can overcome. IJut they must cut loose from all connections with monopolies or fanatical factious , which have hurt them con siderably and came pretty near ruining them. Sail C'losn ofii ( Sroiit Ciironr. 1'titlnttcliilita llecunl. The misfortunes which have befallen the ouco proud Count do Lesscps in his declining years might touch a sympathetic chord even in the breasts of many who have been made victims of his ill-starred Panama canal ven ture. His chateau is to bo sold , and his llnancial ruin has been "upplomciited by a pitiable condition of mental and physical w.rcck. The melancholy close of a career once so full of luster is a solemn lesson on tbo vanity of human ambition ; yet the heedless world has conned the lesson so fcftcn that it will scarcely pause to ponder It or to profit by it. I'or Strullit' ( lluslni-si , Kcanieii A'cic Wnt. Legislation in the interest of the whole pcoplo should take precedence over political log-rolling and combinations to keep the domi nant party in the background. The party which refuses to take an active and dolor- mined part in wholesome legislation at Lin. coin , by reason of its cowardice , will ho rele gated to the roar henceforth. Tlio people of Nebraska arc in no humor to condone cowardice and duplicity. To ItiMliU'o IlHllroml Kiitct. llitllcr COKII'II'rcKK. . Tun OMUIA Uic appears to bo getting back on the old anti-monopoly lines , nnd giving some good advice in regard to the leg islature's duty as to lowering railroad rates the coming winter. cn.tri'iE.tsn ma 'j.trr.on. Detroit Free Press : Trustly My tailor wants mo to pay up. Bilker And mine wants mo to pay down. Trustly What's the difference ! Bilker In one. instance you can got the goods out of the store and in tbo other you can't. Brooklyn Eagle : Cholly do Sappicns Are aw lahgo checks the fashion this winter ! Tailor Yes. sir ; could you lillme out one for about $ 'JOO in settlement of our little ac count ; Two friends meeting , the following col loquy ensued : "Where have you been ? " "To my tailor , and 1 had hard work to make him accept a little money. " 'You astonish me ! WhyC' "Because he wanted more. " Clothier and Furnisher : Travors This oven-oat bcoms pretty tight around the chest : Tailor When you have taken the money out of your pocketbook to pay for it. sir , it , vill lit all right. coMronrnn IN IIKU sonuow. 'f know.1 she said , "it's sad and all that That Charley and I disagree But you ought to have seen the love of a hat I wore when ho jilted mel" Molly Don't you think Miss Noysygnrl is jail form ; Ned Mebbc. But she's a splendid shape. nK FOUND SOI.ACK. Ho longed for some familiar thing That ho bad known of yore. So be bought a campaign Journal and Ho looked the drawings o'er. i.rrn.K I.UMI'.S o/-y/r/rr. When a bicyclist gees nt top speed ho calls it spin. Illnxliamton Loader : When a woman gives her husband n good talking to , ho realizes what is meant by pre.sunth of mind , Alchlson Cilnbu : It Is hard to bo grateful to the man who lights your battles for you , and ; ots licked. Washington Star : It Is said that a Rood deal of the ( fold thattfoes out of Ibis country Israr- rli'd away by tbo o.xpcnslvo musicians. There Is small comfort In reflecting that they glvo us notes for our gold. Life : "Hallo , Mlltoj whoso wulcntlno is you cuttln'on tbo Ice ? " "Ah ! KO 'way an' don't bother mo. Ain't ycr uwuor that there Is sacred moments when u man wants tcr bo by lilssolf'/ " 10 Ht. Paul Globe : Dr. I < 'iilrlmrn ( to the jani tor ) Ole , what do you think about , that man atOwatomm who drunk a iiuarl ot alcohol and died ? " Ole Vail , al tank a Imv * o porty voak titonilk. Now Vork Herald : StraiiKor I notlco you calh-d your friend Professor. Is he really a professor ? llnwoi-ylto I should say so. Why , dat feller Hwallers a sword elKhteon Inches , stands on lilt- ar and cats iiluss out of u churn. 1'rofe.ssorl Wull , 1 hllOUld Just Hllllhl. Klmlra Gazottn : Homo men are MI cousclen- llous thai llioynovur put oir anytliliiK till t ' - morrow but Ibo hill collector.v Lowell Courier : Ills proposed lo construe ! rowliiK hliells of aluminum. A Kood Idea ; that will piitoar.imonon their metal. Klmlra Kcho ; "Thorp's ono wlso thhiR aboul havhiK only ono leu , " said the votoraii , "A pair of MICKS lasts twlco us lonjj as they wouU othorwlso. " Till' VAnilANT IIAIIU'I.V. I What maldi'ii fair from out bur hah- { lias lost this phi of wlrnV d- go black , so hunt , MI full of tc- It sots my hoiirton tiro. ei Foil many u nlKlit , 'foro mirror bright , n\ llor taper lln or ( dips nho This Mttlo pin , so croolc'd and thin , Iliilwcen her dainty lips. ho Hut now sihthl It's KOIHI tu grass , And h-fl to diihl nnd mo ; ill A watchman thin , picked up the phi , illk On lloor or I1. O. U. to II- IIlo Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report 10 or lo at vo ho in its an nd HAHIKC A FAIR DIVISION Regulating tlio Distribution of Oatlotsuipa in the NaVfll Academy , 'WESTERN ' INTERESTS TO BE PROTECTED IT the ltr | > rr riilnllvr Tiill to .Muko Ai- | poliitinruM In Their DUtrlcln ( ho Governor .Mny Attend to Thn.o WASIIIXOTOS DUIIRAV or Tun HER , ) Mil FOVUTKKNTII STiir.r.T , > , WASIIIXOTOX. U. 0. , Dec. 'JT. ) ( A bill hns been introduced to secure I greater fairness in the distribution of cailut- > ships In the naval academy. Under Us pro vision * the secretary of the navy Is required to notify representatives of vacancies existing in their respective districts on the nth of March in nai-h ywir. In case no roi-nnunondation Is made by tlio 1st oC .luly the secretary Is iviiuirod to notify the governor of tbo state in which the racani'y exists and to appoint upon his recommendation , both representatives , anil the governor having failed to reoomim-ml a candidate on the 1st of Hoptombor. the ap ointment rovcrts on thatilate to tlio presi dent. It is Insisted that under present conditions representatives through either ignoranee or indolence very often full to make appoint ments to the naval aendem.v , particularly those from the west. That there Is a colony of resident nnd attached naval onirers hero hi Washington watching for every sueh tmlllled vaeaiu-.v and eager toscenrolt by aptointinent | of the serrotar.v of the navy for their sons and that In consequence sneh appointments at the expense of western congressional districts are very numerous. Under the provisions of the proposed bill full publicity will bo given to the fact that va cancies exist and the governors of the state will bo able to correct the delinquencies of careless congressmen. ToVt | > i < Out Si-L'tlonnl I.Iiiiii , Cabinet gossip tonight centers about Con gressman Hcritort of Alabama as secre tary of the navy. Mr. Herbert Is tbo chairman of the naval affairs conunitleo in the house , and Secretary Tracy has talten frequent occasion to allude to bis hearty and intelligent co-operation with the department it , everything looking to a great navy. Mr. Herbert was a confederate genera1 during the war , and it Is suggested that Mr. Cleveland might select confeder ate soldier for the head of the naval depart ment as the best way of wiping out all sec tional lines and proving that the south vies with the north in keeping up the strength and the dignity of the country. T\l \ IsCt'lllllH'OIIS. William C. Hell has been commissioned postmaster at ITultou , la. , and Gideon M. S ells at Tlconlc. P. S. H. i.K or XOTJ- : . TClijah ITalford has frequently preached in small hoosier villages. John Townscnd , the veteran tragedian , is dying of cancer of the liver at'Toronto. Dr. .losef Stefan , tbo famous professor of physics at the University of Vienna , is hopelessly ill. During his long career as a champion John Ii. Sullivan never wrote fool love missives to other men's wives. Ono hundred and sixty-five confederate army generals yet survive. Twcnty-nino have died this year. Hcrr Krupp has , according to recent sta tistics , the highest declared income in Ger many. It is 0,700,000 marks per annum. General Wade Hampton of South Carolina lias just written a letter freshly declaring that nothing can tempt him to re-enter pub lic life. Last month for tbo first time members of the Austrian Keicbsratb were paid a part , of their salaries in gold , and the incident cre ated quite a sensation. Cornelius Ynndcrbltt of New York has sent his cheek for $ T > , OUO to the police com missioners of that city as a Christmas gift to the police pension fund. The term "Tho Grand Old Man" was first used to designate Mr. Gladstone by Sir Wil liam Ilarcourt , and was hoard in 1880 upon the return of the liberals to power. Senator Hrlce's ofllco in New Vork is always open to tourists from Ohio , a state in which lie has a considerable number of acquaintances , having frequently visited there. Colonel Nicholas Smith , tbo elegant son in-law of tbe late Horace Grceley , who got himself disliked as consul at Three Uivers , Can. , by calling the place illthy , has been transferred to Jjiegc , Uolgium. Representative Duller of Iowa has been making a canvass of the house on the ques tion of opening tbo World's fair Sunday. Out oC'JTfi members questioned be found a majority of three in favor of Sunday open ing. Hamilton Gunn of London Is In Columbia , S. C. , where ho proposes to establish a bank with $20,000,000 capital , to bo known as the Union Hank of South Carolina and England. An act of incorporation has Just been passed by tbo legislature. William F. Rutherford of Hnthcrfora Sta tion , Va. , recently found in : i hickory tree aleck lock of red hair that had been plugged up in the tree for 150 years , as shown by the growth rings. Every trace of the white horse had disappeared. Dr. DeWitt Clinton Green , formerly dentist to Emperor Dom Pedro of Brazil , nml for fourteen yonrs post n rcMdcnt of KloOo.liuiolm , died of malnrlal favor Onto < bor 8fl. Ho was Mout HO years old , nnii wnt lo South America 'roin UnUlmnro .lolm llurnv the Knqllxh lalwrltwlpr , de clares thai Owirral lloolh of the Salvation army , Is nniaUcr of quark remedies for poverty , a neurotic Christian nnd fanatical faddist , who combines universal brother hood with incompetence anil high nnlnry " I'Yanldln Simmons has been awarded the task of executing the equestrian statnn Of Oencrnl T/igan , to bo erected In Washington He has submitted only a rough sketch thus far ; but will now proceed to work out a model , Iowa Circle will bo the site of the statue , and hroiuo the material. The latest from Texas Is In the nature of a surprise. It seems that Web riantiag.iu Is out of Jail. Minister Kgnn will sail for Chill on Jan uary 2. lie will have time for a lunch there before commencing the voyage home. One of the most imperative needs of the United Slates Is a bettor system of defense against tbo lion , Mr. llolmun of .Indiana , Salt Take Herald ; If In tinAvl.i , Uehau statue of Justice slu > Is to hold scales , wo trust they will nut bo the Union Paclllo freight scales. His claimed that Sol Smith Uussrllvns IMIII hi Hoonvillo , Mo. In Justice to Mr. 1'uasell It is tinted that he Is not the person who makes the claim. Maud Xlovlow.i'hkowiliiisld's name ap peared in the C'hlcago marriage license list the other day. William Chappell made him. self a public benefactor by changing her name. It Is said that Herr Disinarck \ \ Invested H,000 ) in Milwaukee street car lines. This expi-nso seems needless since tbe facilities for reaching the breweries are already ex cellent. If President Harrison becomes a member of the faculty of the Stanford university he will have an opportunity to lecture others In return for the Immense amount of lecturing ho has received hlmsulf. Jerry Simpson says Mrs. Tease's candi dacy for the snuato Is a Joke. That makes It all the more formidable. Jerry's candidacy two years ago was regarded as a very rlqii Joke and ho was elected by a large majority. Kansas people are fond of playing costly joltcs upon themselves. 7 < ff/l/Mir. I.lnt of ( "liinici ! of Importuned 111 tlio IlPKilliir .Si'rvk'i ! Y "ttrril , v. WASIUSOTO.V , D. C. , Wee. 27. jSpecialTclo gram to Tun Ur.n.'l The following army or ders were issued today : Captain Augustus W. Corliss , Eighth in fantry , Is detailed as a member of the exam ining board convened at Fort Niobrara , Neb. , vice Captain Charles Porter , Eighth infantry , hereby relieved. First Lieutenant Robert F. Ames , Eighth infantry , will re port in person to Colonel D.ivid S. Coition , Eighth cavalr.Vj president of the examining hoard convened at Fort Niobrara , Neb. , for examination for promotion. The leave of absence on surgeon's certificate of disability granted Captain Sydney E. Clark , Second infantry , is extended two months on surgeon's certillcato of disability. First Lieutenant Honjainin L. Tenoyck , as sistant surgeon , is relieved from duty at Fort Leavcnworth , Kan. , and will proceed at once to San Antonio , Tex. , for duty with tbo troops in the Held. Major George W. Halrd , paymaster , will proceed at once to Salt Lake , U. T. , for temporary duty In the Do- partmcntof the Phittc , reporting in person en route to the commanding general of that department. Wlicn Major IJalrd's services can ho dispensed with in the Department of the Platte the commanding general of that department will order him to return to his station o Triini'xsfn'H Coul Miners. Mr.Mi'ins , Tenii. , Dec. ST. General Keller Anderson returned from Coal Creel : today , and to the question : "Do you anticipate any serious outbreak on the part of the miners ? " replied : "No one can tell just what the miners will do. There are many turbu lent spirits among them who persist in threatening the convicts , but whether or not they will carry the threats into execution remains to bo seen. " THE ' . ! irnito. Jlramliit JSunncr , Ho stood on ( ho track , young Jimmy , With hot nnd fevered lireath , Wavlni ; his lantern madly , Kor ho know that an awful ( loath Was In store for the hnmiy pcoplo ii On tlio train just a mlln away , Who had been lo a woodliiwn picnic That bright September day. A rock on tlio track behind him Mule : his forehead cold and damp ; Thai's \\liy ho fun red for thulr safuly That's why bo swung tbo lamp. The. train was slopped , and the pcoplo Flocked all around young Jim , Who stood there , a Iltllo hero , TiumblliiK In every limb. And did they take up u collection Kor him for MivliiK thulr lives , And load up a hat with money , Twenties , and tens , and lives ; And call him a bravo young hero , A ml clap him upon tbo hack As tli sturdy young boy who had nolleoa The bowldor upon tbo track ? Niiy , nay noln , nolnI guess noti They took him upon the cars Ami carried him to the city And puthlm behind the bars. IIo was tried , convicted , and sentenced To clKhli-en months In Jail. Ungrateful ? Oh , no ; hut. they knowhlin- That trick of bis was stale. Largest Mnnufaoturors and Kutillori otuloihlng In tuo WorlU. A Great Kieker. Was John Randolph of Roanoke ? They say ho "was so much oppos ed to the tariff on wool that ho would g-o 40 rods out of his road to kick a sheep. He had it so bad that he probably would n't appreciate the benefit we are giving this , week on heavy wool underwear. All heavy underwear will go at straight 20 per cent off regular plainly marked prices. Ifyou kick on that 'cause you've got 'nuff underwear , try the other sale. Every man's suitandovorcoatin the house is cut like this , ( no special lots , the whole business included ) $12.50 suits or overcoats are $10. $15 suits are $12.50 and so on. Inventory next week ; that's why wo are making these reductions. BROWNING , KING & CO. , Store opnn riultirduy every ovcmln II1IOJJ. ; ; tlll'J. S\Y \ , Cor. 16th and Douglas St