THE OMAHA DATL BEE : SUN DAV , ' APRIL 10 , 1892
M. Quad's Corner.
ARIZONA KICKER
AND OTHER STORIES.
BY "M. QUAD" .
r. n.
n CHANCED IT. While wo were
ever nt Lone Trco the other day , Steve
Watson wanted us to marry him to n
pirl niunett Rarason , who baa bcon liv
ing In the family of Major Uastines ,
\Ve knew wo couldn't do it as editor ,
but wo were not BO certain in our capac
ity as mayor. Wo finally agreed to take
the chances on It if Steve and the girl
would , anil the result was that they
were made one. We used the regular
form followed by clergymen , but put in
n proviso that if Steve ever stopped his
subscription to our paper the marriage
ehould bo considered null and void.
Until wo have time to look up the Isw
in the case wo will marry any and every
couple appearing before us for that ob
ject , charging only one year's cash sub-
ecription to The Kicker. If it transpires
later on that wo had no authority the
ceremony can be gone through with
elsewhere or things left as they stand ,
but the subscription must be considered
n go Please call at the mayor's office
between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
GAUD OF THANKS. The undersigned
takes tbis method of returning his
heartfelt thanks to the fitly or more
citizens who gathered on Thursday
evening with the intention of pulling
him up to a limb , but who courteously
and patiently listened to his explana
tions and finally decided to give him
one more ihow :
I cstnn to this town under Jalso pretenses ,
as I hereby publicly admit. I claimed to be
a bad man Irom the Bad Lands , and extract
ed to sort o1 run things. I am not a bad man
but only a weak imitation. Instead of bar-
ln < r killed flvo men , as I publicly boasted , I
struck the wrens town , and instead of trying
to play bad man any longer , I am troing to
work. I will put tn ten hours a day at any
ort of labor for $ ! 5 a week , and I trust that I
may in Umo secure the respect ana Rood will
of the eentlemea who sqjfnndly refrained
from pulling1 on the other end of the rope.
My two guns and my bowie knifn are for
ale cheap , as I bavo no further use fortbem.
HANK SCOTT ,
Ex-Bad Alan from the Bad Lands.
TALLY AOART. Recognizing the fact
that this town has done much for Ihe
Kicker , and feeling deeply grateful and
desiring to show our appreciation in a
substantial manner , we have purchased
in the eatt and shall present to the town
a hand fire engine of latest pattern. At
the present date the solo outfit of our
Ore department consists of a step ladder
and an old tin pail , and we are at the
mercy of the devouring element We
are no plarmist , but we must confess
that o.ur slumbers have been nisrhtly
disturbed by visions of red tongued
flames licking their fiendish course up
and down Apache avenue devouring
saloon after saloon , wiping out ono
poker room after another , attacking one
edifice after another , until the haavenb
for miles around were lighted with the
baleful glare of a conflagration full of
disaster to our appalled and helpless
citi/.ens
Our present will bo named after our
paper. We are not as thoroughly
posted as wo hope to be on fire engines ,
but we venture the statement thnt this
ono is full jeweled , return flues , patent
cylinders acd copper bottomed , and that
every citizen of the town will be proud
of it Wo understand that his honor
the mayor ( who is our&elf ) , will soon
issue a call for a public meeting to
organize n fire companv. Wo suggest
that ho be made chief of the fire depart
ment , while wo hereby announce our
readiness to serve as foreman if elected.
Tne encino is expected to arrive in
about four weeks.
IT'S Oun WAY As our contemporary
ha = only -160 circulation and is often
obliged to come out on a half sheet or
t.filcip publication altogether , what
lie says regarding us has
BO opportunity to reach the public.
For this reason , and because we are
kind hearted by nature , we permit him
to use our columns this week as fol
lows , and make no charge whatever :
"We hereby announce to the public , and
have documentor ; evidence to prove our al
legations , that the editor of The Kicker fol
lowed the traffic of body snatching for iubrn
than five years in the state of Ohio , and that
be escaped Irom Jollel while ho had yet two
voars to serve. We further add that we
havu armed ourself to shoot him on sight.
EniroK Bio BONANZA.
As to his changes , they are chestnuts
two years old , nnd will only make people -
plo smile. As to his shooting us , bo has
tried it on five different times and mis
erably failed. Wo will stand up
against a wall nod let him shoot six
times at us from a distance of ton feet ,
and if ho plants ono bullet within twelve
inches of any part of us wo will donate
{ 50 for a local hospital. Ho doesn't be
long' out hero at all. His sphere lies in
peddling popcorn in the effete east.
M. QUAD'S CAT SPECULATION.
As you came up the trail you first
truck "Big Hopes" diggings , which
hod a population of about 300 miners.
r'Two miles farther on you came to "Aunt
Sally Flat , " which had a population of
100 loss Only a mile farther down was
"I-want-to-go-homo" town , tbo popula
tion of which was anywhere between
seventy-five and SCO. Some men who
wanted to go home packed up and lit
out ; others who wanted to go had to
wr.it around for wings to fly with.
Ono day notices were posted up in all
the towns for a public meeting to be held
at "Aunt Sally Flat" on the third day
after. It was announced that a crisis
bad 'arrived , and that able speakers
would be present to discuss it and point
out the remedy. Mining was hard work
and poor pay that season , nnd we wore
ready to welcome even a crisis. There
were plenty of miners who didn't know a
crisis from a climax ; but they were will
ing to loan thn difference , and on "the
date appointed everybody knocked ofi
work , washed bis hands and put in an
appearance. If any one expected to
bear that the time bad come to declare
war against England , march into Mex
ice or demand that Uncle Sam furnish
us fresh butter ho was disappointed.
Colonel Bill Taylor was ono of the
"able speakers" ami be began with the
landing of the pilgrims and scaled down
to "Aunt Sally Flat , " and announced
that we must import 500 cats as soon as
possible or prepare to abandon the
neighborhood. Wo were not only being
overrun by rats nnd mice , but every
man v , a. homesick for the presence of a
cat. If 600 women could be induced to
come out and marry us and make our
homes happy , then get 600 cats. "Wo
men first cats a good second. A gri
malkin ou the hearthstone , after the
toil of tbe day , would remind us of
home , soften up our hearts and make
better men of us. Without the refining
influence of cats none of us could hope to
reach that bolter land. Cats long-
tailed or bobtallod , striped or spotted
but wo must have cats.
lie was followed by Judge Hopkins ,
who acknowledged in a sneaking sort of
way that ho would rather see the old
family cat than his wifa and seven chil
dren. He wanted a cat to hold on his
knee as ho eat and looked into the fire
and called up recollections of days gone
by. He wanted to stroke her fur nnd
hear the p-u-r-r-r-r. which wouH 'jring
up a vision of an idiot sottin// / out from
his farm in Ohio to slash around among
the mountains of the west with a pick
axe and a backache. The judge wept
as ho talked of homo ; ho wept still
harder as he talked of cats. Give him
n cat and he would live on and not care
a cent whether school kept or not The
old oaken bucket , a smoke house , a pig
pen. a barrel of soft soap , any of these
would gladden and cheer and encourage ,
but only temporarily. Ho didn't want
600 women to come out there , as his wife
would be sure to bo ono of the drove ,
but he did want cats , and he wouldn't
be captious about the color.
Other speakers followed in the same
strain , and it wr.s finally voted to con
tribute a purse and send a man east for
cats. No contribute no cats. On their
arrival each cat was to become currency ,
representing S10. Any attempt to dis
count was to be considered the same as
murder in the second degree. As 1 had
a broken arm nnd was laying off , the
choice fell upon mo to go cnst , collect
the cats and lead them into the promised
land. In due time I struck Leaven-
worth. In two days I cleaned that town
up so thoroughly that for six months
afterward the owner of a cat was too
stuck , up to speak to the mayor. Then I
went to Atchison and secured every
thing down to a kitten which had just
got its right eye open. They still insist
that I sot that town back fhe years by
my fiendish expedition. St. Joe was
bed rock. I took 322 cats out of that
town behind a two-mule team , and was
out of range before tbe terror-stricken
people had recovered their presence of
mind. It is firmly believed in St Joe
today that but for mo there would have
been no Chicago or Kansas Citj\ Real
estate had declined " 0 par cent before I
got across the Missouri.
When I finally left Topeka I had 606
cats. There was only ono left in the
state of Kansas , and she was blind in one
030 and dying of old ago. I had two
wagons fitted with cages and had two
tender hearted men employed to help
me care for the cargo. I started with
an emigrant train , but after the first
night out the people threatened my life
and I had to cut loose. The cats were
reasonably quiet during the day. but as
soon as night fell it seemed tis if the
front and back gates of pandemonium
had been swung wide open and a prize
chromo offered. Strong men turned
gray haired that night and next morn
ing three innocent children were buried
in one grave
When near the Colorado line we were
attacked by hostile Indians. They had
been hovering about during the after
noon and as night fell they gathered to
reap the harvest of scalps. There
ee med to be about four hundred of
them , all imbued with a great deal of
entnusiasm , and they had closed in for
business when a Leavenworth tomcat
happened to look cross-eyed from a chap
from St Joe and a row was the cense
quence. In one minute after time was
called COO cats of all ages , sizes and
colors and each with a voice strictly his
own , began singing out. It was a calm ,
still night just the sort of a night to bo
scalped by Indians and the row in the
wugona could bo heard five miles. We
heard the chief calling out to his war
riors not to bo alarmed , and not to desert
their country in her hour of peril , but
he couldn't hold them. They fell over
each other in their haste to get away
and scalp some tenderfoots camped
tweh'e miles to the north of us , and we
were not again molested. The same
Indians afterwards went about the coun
try warning their esteemed contem
poraries that we were "bad medicine"
and would steal tomahawks off a dead
warrior's grave and to have nothing to
do with us. It was a mean piece of
"businf-ss , but you can't expect much good
of an Indian.
Ono fall day we drew near "Big
Hopes' diggings. Everybody in the
three towns dressed up in his best and
came out to welcome the conquering
hero and tbe cats. Every man who had
two shirts tied one of them to a pole for
a flag. Every ono who could yell did so.
Only eleven cata had died of grief en
route , and there was still a cat apiece.
Speeches wore made and a quartet sang ,
'I Want to Be an AngeL" Men who
had never exhibited tbe slightest emo
tion , oven when accidentally struck with
a pickax , now wiped tears from their
eyes. Wo went into town with men
cheering , mules b-aying , flags waving
and cats yowling , and it was unani-
inouslv
Unsolved. That we celebrate the day : that
after the celebration is over tre divide UD the
cats.
cats.Wo
Wo celebrated. There were three
barrels of "celebration" rolled out , and
no ono was excused. Next morning we
crawled out to divide up , but there was
nothing to divide. Some boozy idiot
bnd opened all the cages during the
night , and every cut was gone. Some
we're making for Pike's peak others
were on tboir way to Leavenworth to
renew old ties. We st > ent a week track
ing ono old Tom who was undecided
which route to take , but he gave us toe
dodge and we packed up and abandoned
the country. "We know that luck was
agin us.
GOT LEFT OX UYENA ROAST.
As we drove along over a South Carolina
lina highway we encountered a circus
and menagerie on tbo move , and when
clear of it vro came upon a dozen men
standing around the dead body of a hy
ena. The animal had .died in his cage
und been hauled out on the ground. Ho
was old and faded nnd hia fur rubbed off
in spots , and the circus people decided
that his pelt was not worth taking. The
party was about to move on when up
i ode the proprietor of a country hotel
about four miles further down the road.
"Look t-here gentlemen , " he said
when tbe incident had been explained
to him , "would yo' hev any objections to
my cuUln' off a hind quarter ol that
hyena and takln it uoma ? "
"Of course not : but what can you
want of it ? "
"Wall , Jedge Ridley , of this circuit ,
will be along today and he will utop with
mo fur dinner. The jedge is a mighty
old man. Ho'll ride up to the hosa
block about half post 11 o'clock and sing
out :
" 'Hellol the tavern1 !
" 'WulU jedge , glad to see yo1 , '
" 'Kin I hev dinner1
" 'Ofco'ee. '
" 'Kin I hev roast hyena fur dinner ? '
" 'Yo' kin. Git right down and come
In. I was expecting yo' , and I've got
the nicest piece of hyena yo' over did
put yo'r tooth into in all yo'r bo'n days. '
' "That's what I want a hind quarter
fur , ' continued the landlord , "The
jedge is odd and I want to please him. "
He was told to take the whole body if
he wanted it , but ha contented hiouelf
with a quarter , and was in a ha ppy
frame of mind as ho rode on with u .
Wo were booked to stop at hl place fet
dinner , and wo cot around there jusr
before the judge and his white mule
came into vlow down the dusty road.
All wera anxiously waiting when his
honor rode up at a jog trot , stopped at
the horse block and called out :
" ! ! "
"Hollo the tavern
"Hollo , jodgo ! " replied the landlord ,
as ho stepped out into view.
"Kin I hev dinner yero ? "
"Of ' ' "
co'seyo'kin.
"I'm powerful hungrv. "
"Glad to hear it , jedgo glnd to hoar
it"
"And I'm sorter perticklor about my
catin' . "
"Yes , I know. "
" ' mind made fur
"I've got my up
fur' '
"Reckon yo' hov , jedgo. and yo' won't
bo disappointed , " put in the landlord as
ho grinned and rubbed his hands at
thought of the roast hyena back in th a
kitchen.
"As I was savin' , " continued his honor ,
as he slowly dismounted , " 1'vo had my
mind made up fur some rhinoceros potpie -
pie , and bein' as you'vo got it I guess
I'll stop with yo' while the rnowl takes a
rest"
Wo tried to urguo the landlord Into
the belief that life was worth the living ,
but it couldn't bo done. Ho sat down
nnd beckoned for death to come and
strangle him. M. QUAD.
Whitman on LlncitJn.
Ono of the poems of Walt Whitman that
hat especially ondnard tnru to the American
people Is the ono on the death of Lincoln. It
is not only more rhythmical and musical
than most of his verso , but it ts wrUtcn in
tuch a form as to nppaal to those to whom
the poets usual method Is a mystery. It is as
follows :
O captain I my captain' our fearful trip Is
done ;
The ship has weathered every rack , the
prize wo soucht is won ;
The port Is near , the bells I hear , the posple
all exulting.
While follow ej-es the steady keel , the vessel
prim and danup ;
ButO heart' heart' hoartl
O the bleeding drops of red.
Where on Ine deci : my captain lies ,
Fallen cold and dead.
OCaptnin * my captain I rise up nnd hear tto
bells ;
Rise up forvou the flag is flune for you
the buplo trills ;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths for
you < he shores a crowding ;
For you they call , toe swaying mass , their
caper Janes turning ;
Here captain' dear father'
This arm beneath your head ;
It is some dream that on the declr ,
You've fallen cold and dead.
My captain docs not answer , his lips are pale
aadstlU ;
My father docs not feel my arm , ho has no
pulse nor will ;
The ship is nnchor'd safe nnd sound , its voy
age closed and done.
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in
with object won.
Exult , O shores , and ring , O bells 1
But 1 , with mournlul tread.
Wain the deck mv captain lies ,
Fallen cold and dead.
HON. FKEUEHICK DOUGLASS
And the freeman , the Grrat > "e ro Xeirspa-
per , I'nblUhrd at President Harri
son's Home.
The twenty-five or thirty years of freedom
and citizenship which the black man has had
in this country has demonotrated ois sterling
worth and his ability to cope with the white
man In nearly erery profession In the pulpit
and iu Journalism , perhaps more than in any
direction , has ho shown his ability to keep
up with , and in tact almost lead the proces
sion. There are more than 200 colored news
papers published in the United States. The
largest , tbo greatest and most successful one
is the Freeman , published at Indianapolis ,
Ind. , President Harrison's home.
It is a negrc journal in the broadest sense ,
that its type-setters , artists , editors , and in
fact ail of tne work done on the paper is done
by colored people. Another novel feature of
the paper is that it is illustrated , and each
week is fnll of illustrations showing the
witty and humorous side of negro life , and
eiving the pictuies and sketcnos of repre
sentative colored men and women uho have
won distinction tn the last two decades.
Hon. Frederick Dojglass writes to the ed
itor ot The Freeman thus
"CcDJin HILL , AXTIACOSTA , D. C. , Sept. 13 ,
1S9L My Dear Cooper : Great Is yonr cour
age in publishing such a paper as The Free
man. I thought I showed soma confidence in
myself , and some faith in my people , \vhen
more than forty years ago 1 b can the publi
cation of the Northern Star in Rochester , N.
Y. . but my courage was feeble hen com
pared with jours. You have taken noon
vourself a peculiar burden that cnrtainly
amazes me. and I have been looking and lis
tening for the word 'failure. ' I can not im
agine how you keep up such a paper. Vou
have ability I know , but something moro
than mental ability is needed to publisn a
paper lue your paper. You need money as
well as mind. Yours.
Tbe Freeman is an eight page quarto paper.
printed on fine book paper , and gotten up in
artistic stylo. It is recognized as the na
tional organ of tbe nine millions of colored
people In tbis country , and is a fearless and
independent champion of their rights. The
subscription pnce is fi40 a jear , a very low
price when toe style , quality , and general
worth of tbe paper is considered. Agents are
wanted in every city and town in the United
States. Sample copies and instructions will
besent to all persons addressing The Free
man , .Edward E. Cooper , publisher , Indiana
polis , Ind.
Wer-riso WATER , Neb. . Ost. 23 , 1S90.
Dr. Moore My Dear Sir : I have just
bought the third bottle of your Tree of Life.
It is indeed a "Tree of Ufe. " Dr. , when
you so kindly gave me that first bottle my
right side was so lame and core and my liver
enlarced so much that I could not lie upon
my ngbt side at all. There vrus a soreness
over my Sidneys all of the time , butnow lhat
trouble is all over. I sleep just as well ou
one side as on tbo other , and my sloop rests
aud refreshes mo and 1 feel the best I've felt
in fifteen years , and I know that it U all due
to yoor Tree of Life.
Youri very tr uly ,
D. F. DCDLEI- .
AOniCVI.TUIt.lL UU31OK.
American farmer.
Political straws ryo.
Good feed needs good sense mixed with It ,
half and half.
Do theop payl No , anyone ought to know
that sheep ba-o.
Improving our national waterways is some
thing \\ecanawl approve.
The most profitable plaoo to put feed li to
stick it onto the animal's ribs.
Tbe rooster that crows off his own fence
must be ready tn fence as well as crow.
More furrows in the field * would some
times make less furrows in tbe forehead.
When the snow banks begin to liquidate it
will bo a good time to float your saw logs.
"Your : for homo consumption , " said tbo
boy as ua climbed to the jam shelf of the
pantry.
The f.rst political agitator begun by per
suading the first farmer that ha was "down
trodden. "
A good farmer can discover more In a forty
acre farm than Columbus got out of the
whole continent.
Tie the old plow handle with twine and
buy a KO willow baby carriage upholsters d
with plnih and blue silk.
An urcbln Interviewed a bumblebee on the
window pane , and repotted that ba had
* 'bumicel d him wii his bum. "
A man who signs himself "A Plain
Farmer" ought never to allow himself to bo
ruffled if ho U called "countrified. "
Notice.
Unscrupulous dealers bave been detected
solllnc spurious Bitters under tbe name of
India and Indian Bitten ofour "Ken
nedy's East India Bitters , " We shall
prosecute all such persons to tbe full
extent of the law. Our "East India" Bitters
are never sold in balk. Call for the genuine ,
which are manufactured and bottled only by
oursalvej and under our trade mark label.
luta&Co.
co.v A vn H r IT/ES.
Dusky wives csnbohad in New Guinea for
an ate apiece.
Fashion note for yoringmsn this leap year
is remarkable for newdotlgns.
Of course whan a man marries his flitao be
expects she will butia the kitchen fire.
A young man can never pain favor with a
pretty trirl by telling her noxv pretty he
thinks some other girl of her acquaintance
U.
He I don't see how a girl can rainy a maa
she's known only two weeks. She And I
don't see how she can marry one sho's known
longer.
Vickers When I wai first married 1 loved
my wife so much I felt a though i cuald oat
her. Brown And nowl Vickers Ahl now
( sich ) 1 wish I had.
" 1 have boon In nineteen engagements,11
boastcd Colonel Battles , the old war horse
"And how many times have you boon
married 1" asked Miss Elder , with deep interest
terost
Sue Would you bellovo that I h&vo no
fewer than five young men on my hands a <
the present tlmol Blanche ( glandag at Sue's
hands ) Yc * . dear , I can nudity balfovo It.
There is ample room for them.
A Denver man wanted to get rid of his
wife and accomplished his ond. flo Indulged
in perjury to sucb a degree In dlvorco pro
ceedings ho instituted that the judge gave
him fourteen years In the penitentiary.
Alonzo Will you marry mo , Matilda ! Mm-
tllda ( not wishing to Appear too willing )
Ob , Alonzo1 You are so sudden. Really i
will have to take n whole month to think It
over. Alonzo ( retiring ) Very well : do so.
I will do likewise.
The encasement of Miss Anna Margaret
Gelssenhainer , daughter of Congressman J.
A. Geis enhainer , of New Jersev , to Mr.
Charles Elliott Warren , son of Dr. George
William Warren , of New York , is an
nounced. Ihe wedding Is booked for
April 19.
Mr. Vntter ( apnroaching ladv in black )
Mrs. Jonc , will you honor mo" with the first
dancol Mrs. Jones ( with a slow smile )
V "ith pleasure , Mr. Vatter. But you must
oromlso to dance very , verv slowly , for I
am still wearing mourning for dear Mr.
Jones.
Tbo wedding of Mlis Elizabeth French
and Colonel the Hon. W. Eaton is to take
place at Newport in June. Tne latter is a
son of Lord Cheylesmero , ono of the Jubilee
peer ? , a great silk manufacturer of Coventry ,
who is enormously wcalthv. and had the
peerage conferred upon him for what ho had
done lor commerce.
A unique triple wedding feast xvas enjoyed
In a Bohemian village early this month ,
when a young couple were married on the
same day that the parents of tbe bridegroom
celebrated their silver wedding and his
grandparents their golden wedding. On the
same day a diamond svoddlne was celebrated
at Helllcenkreuz near Vienna.
Mis * Mao Knowlton of Brooklvn and Count
Johannes von Francken-Sierstorpoff will be
married on Wednesday. Apru 27 it will bo
a brilliant wcddintr. The bride will be ar
rayed with great splendor in sj.tin , point lace
aad diamonds. Count Sierstorpff will bo in
his uniform ot first lieutenant of Second Dra
goons of the Imperial Guard of Berlin.
Anent the wedding of Frank Carolan r.nd
the younsest daughter of George Pullman ,
it is reported that Mr. Pullman ha * pur
chased the famous Colton mansion on Neb
Hill , San Francisco , and will present It to
the yonng people. The mansion is the finest
specimen of Greek architecture in the coun
try. It was built Uv6aty years ago and cost
over a million. r
You may ive a bride a silver ohotograph
frame , with a tinted -picture of yourself in
it ; a stiver smelling bottle , a pin with her
name in gold scroll studded with perns , a
silver menu book , cookery books bound tn
white and gold , a batrjrle bracelet with your
initial and hers interwoven , a pair of silver
grape scissors , a gold safety pin with a diamond
mend upon the bar , or a chock.
Tne engagement is announced in New York
of Miss Alary Tallmadge Trevor and Mr.
Grcnvlllo Wintbrop. Miss Trevor is verr
much liked She has a fortune of J3,000.Xb ( )
or more that she inherited froni her father ,
the late John B Trevor. The motner of the
fiancee , Mrs. Trevor , U Ida vice president of
tbo Society of Colonial Dames. Ono of her
ancestors , named Talltnaoge , was the com
mandant at West Point in Washington's
timo.
A little more than sixty years ape in the
town of Littleton , Mass. , John P. Keed
caneht in his outstretched arms the form of
a young ladv who hud jumped from an upper
window ; a panic bad resulted from the civ-
inp way of the floor and the supports of tne
church gallery. Quick-witted braverv had
its reward. Lost Monday Mr. Head aad tbo
eirl he had caught celebrated the sixtieth
anniversary of their wedding at their homo
in Lexington , Mas ? .
WOODBURY'S FACIAL SOAP
For the Skla , Solp and Complrxlon.
t The rcxult ofo years * experience.
I At OlUl. . or -.t l 7 mull.
3 50c" * Sampla Cti and 1U p re
fBotk on Itrm rnlory and BcsY.tr.
* t lllnttrtttxl , on ftlu zx-alp Nerroo
f ana Eloml Dl ruei and a. lr trn t-
US Bwut. BMll fee&leii. fOf lHfittre-
-r IDMIU , Birth Mark I , Holei , Warti , loiila
gr Ink and Potrdtr Xarki. Scan , PUtlno ,
KMuei rf Jfon , .
- EopentniMil Hair. Hm-
, . _ jetc. removed. Oonisltatlanttve , at oOweor bjmaU.
JOHN H. WOODBURr , Dermjtological Institute ,
15 Treat 12nd &treet. Kevr York City.
Baby's cheek is like a pe ch.
Is it Madame Ruppert's bleach ?
No ! but baby's mania's cheek
Volume ? to its praise doth speak !
Call for Mme Ilnppert'a book , llnw to 1 > 8 Deatitl
fal of Mrs J Benson. 21& S. loth M. Omiba , Neb
STOPS
THE ACHE
AS NOTHIHG ELSE
WILL. NO KLMEDY
KNOWN PENETRATES
THE TISSUE LIKB
WOOD'S
PENETRATING
in advanc : of or-
dinar ' plas-
pi flCTCD ) porous
r * * * i ur
-w is
ters < lhat whr lt
succeeds uhjr WOOD'S PLASTER is
worth taking trouble to get.
SOLO IV DRrCCISTS
EVERYWHERE
N. V. Dcpat , 91 William St
GONSUMPTiON.
I h a pmtiTo remedy f or th aboredueaM , byiti
nte thousand ! of ca c of the wont kind and uf lane
clandi&ff bare been cored. Indeed to etrone is my futh
in lU efflcacy. th t I will aead TWO BOTTLE * FBIKrith
a VALUABLK TREATISE oa this daeu to any raf
ferer vbo will send me tbrir Kxprrei and 1 * . O , addrena ,
T. A. SIocuui. 31. C. , 183 Pearl fM. . N. V.
PINE SPECTRGLES
Eye Glasses.
or tba correction of aHdefect of rltloa {
Solid Cold Spectacles
From K 03 op ward
Fine Steel Spectacles
from II Oa upward
Protectani improve your eyesight.
Your eyes tested trea by a prastlcal
Optician.
MAX MEYER * BRO. CO
Established JB6G. KAUNAM and ICth.
_
PEQUOT
A 10-MINDTE TALK
wits an able , coniclentlous , iklllful and tae >
cessful
Specialist ,
inch as each member and 6 oh trained aislit-
ml of itie famous Srm ot
Drs. Belts & Betts
Is anlversilly conceded to be , mar be worm
more tbaa
$10,000
to tbe man wno la tick , and who has tried all
ther means to secure relief , but in rain. And
ret that UUz , valuable .3 It IB ,
Costs Nothing1 ,
it held la the private consultation rooms of
Drs. Betts & Betts ,
. 'or consultation la free , net only to those who
nil In person , but alto to all the afflicted who
writs tuelr symptoms lallr aul enclose stamp
'or reply.
Maybe
the patient li suffcrlnc from * ome one ot those
numerous , ret dellrato malaale * , which polltt
tocletr doea not see proper to dtscosi at a seoUl -
Ul topic. In short too mar be afflicted wlta
Syphilis ,
Gonorrhoea or Gleet. We can cure htm. It
inar ba
Seminal Weakness.
Bad enough , bnt no matter , we con cura him.
It mar be
Stricture ,
or nydrocele , or Varieocet ? . Great misfor
tunes , trulr , but we can cure him. Probably
Piles ,
Fistula or Rectal Ulcers. A terrible affliction ,
but we can cure him.
him.Sexual
Sexual
JitiortJtrs. diseases and weakness. Nervous ,
Cnronlcand 1'rirato Diseases we cura them
ill. salcly , snrelr , speedily and eflectnally , br
methods the most advanced , humane ana suc
cessful.
Sena 4 cents for cur handsomely Illustrated
120-naeebook. Consultation free.
Call , or write , enclosing stamp.
e
19 South 1-lth St , N. E. Corner Hth
and Douglas Sts.
Qinalia , KTefo.
PURE RYE.
is a whiskey smooth as cream , particularly
pleasant to the taste and guaranteed to be
absolutely pure By reason of its age and
nch quality it is recommended by physi
cians to sufferers from Inng diseases , heart
failure and weakness succeedin g La Grippe.
It has no rival for sideboard use. You
may know it by its delicious flavor and the
proprietary bottle in which it is served.
Call for Cream Pure Rye and take no othr.
For sale at all first-class drinking places
and drug stores.
ir DALLEMAND & CO. . Chicago.
\ \ s ud th * marTploDB Fr nrh
'p f * Kemedy CALTHOS fiw , and a
I b Cx \ lesal guarnatoe that CALIHOS will
* "PE" S r CURE Si r > rmctnrrlirmHrtxtIe
? 6 - \ And ItESTOItELoctIcor. .
C'sc i/ anrfay ifzaitf ed ,
A4dr , VON MOHL CO. .
I Anicma iffcaU , OBci B U , Okie.
Easily , Quickly , Permanently Restored.
V koe" . JSer oa nf , Drblllly. and all
the train ot evlli from early errors or later ercessei.
toe reiulu of OTerwork. sleknesa , worry , etc. Full
strength , derelopmect. and tone ctTen to erery
organ and portion ol tbe body. Simple , natural
luetb < xl . Immediate Improvement peen. r allure
Imp nsiblo S.UUO references. Uouk. explanations
tnapruofa mailed omledlfreo. Address
ERIK MEDICAL CO. , BUFFALO. N. f
AWNINGS KASKETs
OMAHA TENT AND OMAHA BASKET FACTORY -
AWNING CO , TORY
Hats , hammocki. oil aal Capacity 6000 oer day
robber clotnlnz Send for racking boxea to order.
catalogue , 1113 Farnani OlHie 801 Can.Av. Tel 17T5
BREVKRS. .
FRED KRUG BRfcW- OMAHA BREWING
ING CO , ASSOCIATION
Onr bottled cabinet beer Guaranteed to equal out-
oellTered to any part > ) < le bran-li Vienna
of the city Export boulea bwr
10U7 Jackion Street dfUrere4 to famlllei
130XKS.
OMAHA BOX FACTORY JOHN U WILKIE ,
and Doretallal Manufacturer of paper
bcxei Capacity 5.UU per boiof lBT-i ! Bt.Mary-1
diy E it Omaha , Tel. U
! U BOX noi Avenue.
UOILEKS. 1 BUILDERS.
WILSON DRAKE JNO P. THOMAS
Contractor of brick , iton *
Tabular float , oil and & all ktudi masonry and
voter taaks. treoca- mfc Uulldlnz. evrer and
tu ( , ( neei Iron work. etc. klderalk brut. 1 * . O bar
1Mb. and Pleroa ObJ
I BUIOK.
WESTERN STEAM
BRICK YARDs
All kind , of t > rlckt.ita &
I1. & . U. U ! L J. i'Tnomai
Proprietor
OARIUAGES.
THEOSTEflHO'JDT.
dprtn Wazoa Mf Co
Incorporated.
BepalrUu on itorl no
tice. CWrUj * palBtinz.
UU11303 Cai * . Tel Itil.
COFFEE , ETO , I COPPER.
CONSOLIDATED I HONACK i KAESSNER
COFFEE CO CopperimltUf.
. " Copper work of all klnU.
Importer * aid Jobberj , ,
HU Uarntj fit 1 EU3.18U.
Mcuruna Uses
SANTA CLAUS/ /
"for Clothes
Too-
l/SE
SANTA
CiAUS
SOAP
* e = = - = 3
. CHICAGO , la
THE RIPANS TABULES regulate the stomach , liver and
bowels , purify the blood , are pleasant to take , safe and
always effectual. A reliable remedy for Biliousness , Blotches
on the Face , Bright's Disease , Catarrh , Colic , Constipation ,
Chronic Diarrhoea , Chronic Liver Trouble , Diabetes , Disordered
Stomach , Dizziness , Dysentery , Dyspepsia , Eczema , Flatulence ,
Female Complaints , Foul Breath , Headache , Heartburn , Hives ,
Jaundice , Kidney Complaints , Liver Troubles , Loss of Appetite ,
Mental Depression , Nausea , Nettle Rash ,
Painful Digestion , Pirn- pies , Rush of Blood to
the Head , Sallow Com- plexion , Salt Rheum ,
Scald Head , Scrofula , Sick Headache , Skin
Diseases , Sour Stom- ach , Tired Feeling ,
Torpid Liver , Ulcers , Water Brash and every
other symptom or dis- ease that results from
impure blood or a failure in the proper performance of their
functions by the stomach , liver and intestines. Persons given
to over-eating are benefited by taking one tabule after each
meal. A continued use of the Ripans Tabules is the surest
cure for obstinate constipation. They contain nothing that can be
injurious to the most delicate. Price : One gross $2 , sample bottle
15 cents. For sale by Druggists , or sent by mail postage paid.
Address THE RIPANS CHEMICAL COMPANY , New York.
.1&9S +
ThfUNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS
that the
Behr Bros. & Go's.
PIANOS
Hare attained , and the hili nrai-e they tone elitltcl from the world'- MOST UK-
NOW NED AKTISTS. from the press and from a public loti ? prejudice 1 in fcror of
Ider makes it N safe to asitiiiiB tliat Hii instrument mint be possessel of UNC JI
31U.S ATTRIBUTES.
ATTRIBUTES.MAX MEYER & BRO. CO. ,
Sole Agents , Omaha , Nebraska.
Established iS66.
CHICHESTEK-S BHCUCH. RED CKOSS
THC ORIGINAL AND CENUtfJE , The only Safe , f > tirr fcQ4rriaE > Ic pl.l for tale
* , itsk D recast * " CUc& * ter j fgUl / ) am < mJ grand in Ked ai4 C&W metallic
Piled itb * lnerfW > fln TiLc n othrr Llnd. JZtfwt tirnrvr oru and fmilatio. . .
lit tnra tebord t < itr , plLK TT t > pen ar d Bccr n c * nnlrrfrlt * . 4tX > ranlsuuT rut i
* " " " C '
" - - Jnfi" iSV 7aprr 'CHICHCSTCR CHEMICAL CO , - - " -
1316 Douglas Street , Omaha , Neb.
The eminent ipeclalltt In nerrona , chronic , prtTate. blood , skin and nnnary < 3l e ei A rarnlar and
reetitered cnduateinroedctoe. an dipiomaianfl ceniOcaleiiaow. isjuil treailnpwitb tbefrfaieit BUCCCU
catarrh , iperan-torrhoea. Ion manhood , seminal weakneit. nlcnt lauei. tmpotency. irpbllt * . stricture. eon
orrhoea , sleet. rarlcoc le.ctc l omercnry n ed. It'rw treatment for lost of rltal powrr. Parties unable to
Tlstt me maj be treated at borne by correspondence. ie'1lclu ' or Initmmenti unt t > T mall rexpr * e-
eureli packed , no marks tc indicate contents or lender. Ono personal Interview preferred. Consultation
free. Corre'pondenos itrtctlj private. Uook ( Myaterlu of ufe ) aent Ire * . O3cu boon 9 a m. to 9 p. u >
Sundays ID a. m. to 11 m. Send atamp f of reply.
HOME
TToV-nT-PC
INDUSTRIES
By Pin-chasing Goods Made at the Following Nebraska Factories. If you
cannot find what you -want , communicate with the manufacturers as to what
dealers handle their goods.
3 I \ . C. C , S O \.TS
Xcbrasha Cliu Cereal
KATZ-NEVINSCO. 31UU
Mix rereal 1:00,11 , Auk
jour fc'rocer for quailed
rolled oi.lt