THE OMA.IIA DAILY B15E : itONJDA.Y , MUROH 23 , 1891.
DMOIERS Al HIE WOMEN.
Another Thoughtful Ecply to Geitrudo
Alhorton's Bather Acidulous "Porno. "
FREMONT TRAVELING MEN ORGANIZE ,
JirummciV Donclljr rourt-Unrrlos u
Queer Snniplc Tlioy OPoro tip
tlio Town Travelers *
feinnll Talk. '
Commercial travelers nnd their friends ro
Still Bftor Mrs. Gertrude Athcrton for her
recent assault upon tlio drummers as a class.
Tlio litest contribution comes from Now
York nnd li as follows :
NEW YOIIK , March 18-To the Editor of
TUB Bum Your exceedingly Interesting U-
BUGS of Sunday , March 8 , nnd Monday ,
March 0 , were sent to mo byonoof thoio
"knights of tlio crip" whom , ns a class , Rlrs.
Gertrude Atucrton has icon lit to nmlion
tnrfiot of j but I trust hns failed to pain the
npplausosho courted. Wo would rather not
bollovo the lady to bo a narrow-mlndod
cvnle , but surely she has proved herself un
charitable oven If her experience has been
Unplonsnnt , or purely nn Imaginary episode.
To criticise , ono should have a broad Held of
experience to experiment upon , \vhlchtho
"weapons , two edged generally , inn. cut each
\vnj ; but It requires a master hand
ut all times , or tlio one xvleld-
5ng tnny hurt themselves the wont.
\Vo woroploased to see tbatsotno little notlco
ha : been taken of the poem bj1 a few of our
traveling brothers , and that one of the
cudgels used in defense of the blttorsarcaim
was the words of our own true hearted Klla
'WhcelerWHcox. Her soul isalwnjs full of
charity , lore , truth and justice , and finding
nn outlet through the niculiiinoi tlio mighty
pen , is ovci wieldlnp it for the Koodofnll.
Your torso editorial'Women ' and IVIarrlngo , "
ffiivo us much food for thought by Its uti-
jiartlsnn and clear criticism , jet \vodo not
entirely nprco with tlio idea tliat "self-analy-
Blshns led woman to see , " that ' 'maa wants
hinrrlafjo , not n particular ivotnan ; while she
XvnnLs the special man. " On the other hand ,
our experience with these who believe they
Jcnow , Is that men will not marry until they
Jiiid that "special woman ; " an especially
obodlont womanly woman. Tlio subject is
full \Uiysandwherofores.imtl no mutter
\vlicro two or thrcoof ono sex or inoro raiy
hicot , it generally Is open for discussion. It
is the law that binds , nnd strnnROto saj- ,
women love to bo hound , oven If they Icnow
thev are free , they are eier sccUlnc ( or that
endless cord of confUcncoand respect , a. true
tnarrin e ; and tnlitas some of our lecturers
Uo.lt . docs not abolish the truth that women
nro only snthfied when chained to the do
mestic household , Our cistern cities
nro overrun with women brcnd-nlnncrs ,
und lr ono dnrod to question , many
would ho lound helpmeets truly to these who"
have promised to cherish and kiep from
trouble and \\ant ; "her , " who now battles
with him for the broad of every day life.
There is oven now n current of Jealousy run
ning Dotttccn the ll\cs of inon and women
unmarried , and woman wins oft , but \vhv I
All I Thespiiit of avarice , clutching at the
boit impulses of the employer's ' nature , will
\vlti lor the woman because of the lessor piy ,
find so the world nio\os on nnd human ma-
clilno with It ; some dropping by thoav ,
unmlsscd aiid forgotten soon , as others close
the Klip and the urmv of living souls tnairh
on , Such thoughts as these arlso as wo
Svatch iho masses go nnd come day after day
nnJ know tbcso scones -will never stop unless
Old mother earth collapses. V.A. . G. H.
Simro Drummers.
Whonono reflect * calmly upon such evl-
floncos of total depravity as nro revealed by
the following occurrouco , tliero seems too
Jnuch Justice la the deep-rooted belief of ro-
) .lplous people generally that the ordinary
'drummer" of commerce Is a peripatetic ex
emplar of original sin.
The worthy congregation of the rirst
Jvlcthodlst church at Potalutna , Cala. ,
\vns siirpilscd to find , on repilrinu to that
odlflco a few Sundajs ago , that the same wns
pot oiilv closed but its shepherd , had been
( suddenly called out of town.
Their surprise Increased on finding that
the Baptist congregation hail met ivith a llko
experience , out ivhon U wns finally nscor-
tnlncd that all the other places of worship
\vcro similarly situated , a pubho sensation
was the result.
It scorns th.it three commercial travelers ,
"bcinp stormbound In snldtoiin the previous
JTrlday , and therefore Instigated by tlio evil
ono to the commission or sundry deviltry ,
tind concocted a most ickod design. They
jrcliovod tlio tedium of their stay by writing ,
on scented paper , a note to every minister In
town , and" which contained each a single
sentence in nn apparently agitated fomlnlno
iiaml.
"All U discovered Hyl"
Anil yet some people Bender because , whenever
over four drummers congregate m one of
our smaller towns , the Inhabitants take In
their aoormaU and call on the viglUntos to
turn out ,
Fremont Trmoliiii * Alan.
The resident traveling tnen of Fremont
bold a meeting at the Now "York parlors on
last Saturday ovcnlnp which was quite well
attended and an enjoyable tinio resulted. Tuo
ohjoct of tbo mooting was to organize a "Fre
mont Traveling Man's Club. " Tbero were
present ! J. H. A'anGaasbeok , George A.
Blue. C. 0. Loako , C. II. Perrigo ,
J. M. O'Neill , J. W. Richards , A. D.
pears , 0 , F. Turner , A. L. Esmay , E. M.
Collliib and John A , Clizho. JV. . Hlcliards
tvas chosen temporary chairman nnd 1 ? , Ij.
lisniay , seciotary , Short addresses wcro
jnado by diffeiontonos ptcsent < J. 0. Loalco ,
O. H. I'orriijo nnd V. I , Usmay were op-
rolntod by the chair as a commltteo on
by-laws and J. 11. Van Gaasbeolc , George A.
JJluo and Mr. Scars were delegated to prepare -
pare n list of traveling rnou residing In the
city , or who niako thu city their hc.id-
quartcra A collection was taken for the
purpose of creating a. sinklncr. fund until such
time us un nssocintloa can bo organized and
put In good running order.
Tiiciols no reason , saji a Fiemout piper ,
Tfhy this city should not well and ably sup
port just such an organization , maltliif ? It an
, interoslliiK foituroto these ho bclougtolt.
P'hls city has somothlnp llko slxty-llvo or
seventy traveling mon , and v > hy they should
not be dniwn to uthor tiy sorno society bond
tie one has attempted to explain.
Drumnicr'it Deadly Fond.
COLLMIUTS , Ind. , March iiO.Vhen the pas-
pcngcr train from the south on the Louisville
division reached the city last evening , two of
ho passengers loft the train and walked to
( ho depot platform. Tlio bystander ? noticed
pno of tha men strlko the other with
D small hand valise , when the man
struck , Immediately shot his assail-
ont , the ball entering the abdomen. The
jnan 'Viho did the shooting \\M Imrno-
fllately arrested. His nanio Is L. Ooldhmltb ,
b tmvellnfj aeont for n flrin of liquor dealers
lii Loulsvillo. The wounded man Is U T.
JSklllninn , who represents u linn ol mineral
Vat or manufacturers ol Louis villa. Sklll-
fnan Mas taUoii to the hospital , whoio the
eurffcoiis pi-onouncod bis wound fatal. Doth
xnon nro married anil live In Iouls\lllo. Skill
man buvliiR three smallchUdron. Goldsmith
refuses to uilk about tlio cause of the qunr
rcl , out says ho acted in self dofonco. faltlll
mauiu able to talk some , after bolng In
formed Hint ho would die , anil made un anto-
inortom stntomont , snjlnp that there had
ccon un old feud between them.
An XJnliiuo Mtniplo.
- Tlio SU Louis Uioho-Domocrat tells of a
Commercial traveler who prooably carries
the most unique "simple" In the profession.
It is nothing less than a human body three
years old , nnoxamplo of the cfllcleacy of n
pertain embalming llulJ. For thrco jcars
this niunini has boon transported on the
railroads ns a sample case would bo ; and.
Indeed , there Is nooutivard sign which would
Indicate the uncanny naturu of Its contents ,
lu this instance tuo lonportho body is preserved -
served tlio inoro of an advertisement it Is for
the fluid In the veins of Iho "stiff.11 The box
Is zlno lined , and does not exceed the limits
Df the inllroji ) excess bagcat'ornlolu ( weight.
oj'H Or nnlv.o ,
The commercial travelers of ( Jounril llluffa
bclU u mooting Saturday evening fertbonur-
of orgaulilug a mutual unU frulcrua
association. The moottnjr.vw railed to order
bv A. W , .Tohnson. Wit. McCollouqh was
chosen temporary chairman and A. W. John-
on , temporary secretary , Bftor which an
address was mndo by II. S. Ullnn , attoi
which the following eipressod their rlows
nnd sentiments ns to the feasibility of organ
ization , nil ofvhoni uoro listened to with
close attention by the audience : A. W. John
son. TA HowoW O. Dorland , II. I. Forsyth ,
A. W.Hobbs.V , A. Slronff.B. H.IInworth ,
M. Swallow , R A. Biiby , AV. B. Lanins. W.
U. McCollough , 1' . U. BhtpnrJ. II. Frniiklln ,
OcorRo Hudio , J. J. Jones , S D. AVadsworth ,
0.V , McDonald. W. II. Stevens , & . Shlnn ,
Jr. , G. II. .Acker , w. A. MaAnony and othors.
It as decided to form a mutual and fra
ternal ortranlzatlon for the bencllt of the
Council BlufTs traveling men , the object bo-
Inff to bring them Uiwthcr at stated limes
( or thopurposo olbocomlngbettoracqualntcd
with each other anil workingfor Iho benefit
of each other , their cmplojcrs mid the city
'n which they Iho.
The following committees were elected !
Organb-ation 11.8. Ullnn , Kd Howe nndV. .
( } . Dorlnnd ! hnll-A. \ Jobnson , II. rrank-
lln and A. W , Ilobbs ; fraternal work H. II.
Haworth , ( IcorgoHudlo and A. "W. Johnson.
There will bo another meeting next Situr-
day mining for permanent organization and
'or the election of ofllccrs.
0V 1MR31N'1F10/VT10N
ninComber on tlio _ lllulits of
KnrolRn Horn Cltly.eiii.
O.MAIIA , March 18. To tbo Editor of Tup
Ben : Mr. Webster , the secretary of state ,
writing to Mr. Caldoran , the Spanish minis-
or , under date of 1851 , among ether things
said : "Tho assembling of mobs happens in
all countries ! popular violence occasionally
breaks out everywhere , aettinfj law ntdell-
mice , trampling on the rights of citizens and
nrivntomon , and sometimes on these of pub
lic ofllcors , and the agents of foreign govern
ments , especially entitled to protection
'In these cases public faith and national
honor require , not only that such outrages
should bo disavowed , but also that thopor-
pot raters of them should ho punished
whoieyor Ills ixwsibloto bring thoin to Jus
tice ; and further , that full satisfaction
should bo made in cases in which a duty to
that effect reats with the government , accord
ing to the general prlnciulcs of law , public
faith , nnd the obllpatilon of treaties. "
And further on in the same coircspondenco
the distinguished lawyer and statesman said :
"Wlillo this government has manifested
a willingness and determination to perform
every duty whiih one friendly nation has a
right to expect fiom another , In ci os of this
kind , It supposes that the rights of tlio Spun-
Isa consul , a public ofllier , residing hereunder
under the protection of the United States
govermnonturo quitodifferent fiom these of
tlio Spanish subjects who have come into the
country to mingle with our own citizens , and
hereto pursue their private business and
object * . 'Iho former may claim sped d in
demnity , the latter are entitled to such pro
tection as is atToided to our own citizens
While , therefore , the losses of Individuals ,
private Spanish subjects , are greatly to bo
regretted , jot It la understood that many
American citizens suffered e < iual losses from
the same causo.
" .Ana these nrlvatclndlvlduals , subjects of
her Catholic majesty , coming voluntarily to
icsidolti the United State' , have certainly
no cause for complaint If they are protected
by the same lawand the sntno admlaistiation
of law as imtlvo born cltbonsof this country. "
And Mr. "Webster concludes by saving ! "The
casom.iybo a now one , but the president
being of opinion that Mr. Labordo ( the con
sul ) ought to bo Indemnified has not thought
It necessary to search for precedents. "
Mr , Fish , secretary of state , writing to the
American minister at Brazil lu 1875 , instruct
ed the minister upon the liability of Brazil
where some imperial ofllccr or agent connives
at mob violence. Mr. Fish said : "It Is the
duty of Brazil , when she receives tuo citizens
of a friendly state , to protect the property
which they carry with them or may acquire
there , If persons in the service of that gov
ern mont connive at or Instigate allot for the
purpose of depriving a citizen ofthe United
States of his property , the imperial govern
ment muat bo hdd accountable therefor. "
Mr. Evnrts in 1878whon , secretarv of state ,
writing to Mr. Olbbs , minister at Pom. said !
"A government Is liable internationally for
damages done ID ulion residents hy a mob
which by duo diligence ) it could have re
pressed. " But the luarnod secretary makes
no effort to dollno what "duo diligence" is.
In 1S30 certain British subjects were in-
Jurel by a mob in Texas. Jt was
held by the secretary of state , Mr. Kvarts ,
after consultiup the attorney general , that
the offense was against the pe-ico nnd dig
nity o ( Texas , and tint thoInjuicd bad their
legal remedy against their assalluuts In tbo
state and national tribunals , and that tbo
matter was cognizable only by the authori
ties of that state.
Mr , JoCterson , while secretary of state
under President Washington , wrote to Mr.
King , nmonp ether things : "Tho rule by
which all governments conduct themselves
la cases vhoro Injury has been done by indi
viduals of 0110 to individuals of the other
government is to leave the injured party to
seek redress iu the courts of tha otner. If
that redress bo finally denied , after duo ap
plication to the courts , it then becomes a
subject of national complaint. "
Substantially the same instruction was
given hy Mr. Monroe , secretary of state in
181.r > , and by Mr. Clay , secretary of state In
18ar. The oolnloa of Attorney General But
ler lu 18i7 ; holds "Whore aliens suiter vie
lence from citizens of the United States , ia
their persons or property , they must appeal
to the courts for redress ; to the state courts
if the offense Is a criminal one , and to the
state or fedeial courts for rediess by civil
action. "
But Mr. Evciett , secretary of state in 1853 ,
wrote to Mr. Marsly , minister nt Turney
that "tho rule that n claimant for redress tor
Injuries sustained in a foreign country , must
flrs.t exhaust judicial remedies in such coun
try does not apply to countries of imperfect
civilisation , or to cases in which pilor pro
ceedings show gioss perversion of justice. "
And in 18 jS dtl-sens of the United States
were massacred at Jaffa audthoTusltlsli gov
ernment , having taken no cfllcicnt measures
to punish the assassins , the commanding
ofllcei of our &quadion in the Jledltcn.uiean
wasordcied "too ropiir to Jaffa und to take
such measures as may lie ia his power to in
duce thu Turkish authorities to iiitiiit upon
the ctimlnals the punishment they &o richly
desoivo. "
In 1SSO , at Hock Springs , Wyo. , twenty-
eight Chinamen were killed outright and lit-
teou were wounded , many wore driven from
their homes audpiopirty belonging to Chinese
subjects , to the value of $147,000 , destroyed.
President Cleveland la his message
to congress in speaking of the
liability of the government for this
Inhuman net of a mob , said. "Thatwhilst the
United States government is under no obliga
tions , whether by the express tormi of Its
treaties with China , or the principles of In
ternational law , to Indemnify these Cliineso
subjects for losses caused by such moans and
under the admitted circumstances , " yet In
view of the awful Inhumanity and "wholly
gratuitous" ho recommended payment.
And in a communication to the Chinese
minister , dated Foluuiiry 18 , IbSD , Mr. Bay
ard , then secretary of shto , discusses the
lawand facts of the case nlth a high moral
ity and \\lth complete and exhaustive loiiin-
ing and among other tilings , after stating
thut the mob uas compassed entlielyof for
eign Inborors , ho said : "Tho doctrine of tliu
iion-llabllltv of the United States for the acts
of Individuals committed In violation of its
laws is clear as to acts of its own citizens ,
ami a fortiori in respect to aliuus whoiibmo
the prlvlloKo accorded thorn , of residence
in our midst by breaking the public peace and
Infringing upon the right of others , audit
has booiijcorroctly anJ authoiltativi'ly laid
dowi by my uiedecossors In office , to whoso
declarations in that behalf ) our note roforj.
To that dootx-mo the course of this govern
ment furnishes uo exception. "
\\'a \ have a treaty with Italy , but this c.iu-
notchangotbolaw , as all nro entitled to the
equal protection of the law with orlthout \
treaty stipulations , and Secretary Uaynni
meets this question in ujs ample Ic.uiiiiigln
thoCliiueso case , anil says ! "Thcroun niul
should bo no discrimination In apiilvin
primlti 'o measures to all Infractions of law.
And so , too , \\ith proven tfyo moisurus. "
The question may still re in at n , AYhit will
Italy do about HI Was duo diligence used to
prevent Iho riot of the mob ) And can any
dOKroo ofjustlco boobtained in Now Orleans I
Ills ait unhappy matter nnd so was the
wretched Malta , a nct of assassins , jut mob
.violence can hardly bo necessary hi this land
andlu gloat cities. JAMUS II. M , roMUUii.
Tourists
whether on pleasure bent or builnosi , should
tauoon ciory tilp a bottloof s.yruj > of figs , as
it acts most pleasantly am ) ofTcUuully on thu
kiunuyti. liver and bowels , preventing fevers ,
headaches and other form * of su-lcm-is , 1'or
halo In 50o and fl.OO bottles by all loading
FMCIES OF THE WITTY ONES ,
FrlrolouJ Flings at Lifo'j ' Solemnities From
thoNowpaper Jokers.
HUMANITY HELD UP TO BE LAUGHED AT ,
Qiilpa find Quirks From 1'olittcd
10110 , ItitotiUctl to liifihtcn tlic
Load and Uriliton ) ttio
I'nth of All.
Kcw I'nrllSun.
A much admired girl -was ovorheanlwhllo
carrylngon the following brief conversation
with n , joung man who \\as known to bo des
perately smitten v 1th her charms. She was
fondling her dog , who was walking by her
side , " 1 wish I wcro your dog I" said he , giv
ing the plrl most raptuious glances. The
girl looked nt the do ? nnd then nt her adorer.
and said with a patronizing air : "You'll '
growl" _
1'rospootluir-
"Mnrrhtro licenses herd" ho whispered to
the county clerk , us reported lu the Detroit
Free Press.
"Yes. "
" ( Jot ono any \vcok day ) "
"Yos. "
"CJirl have to bo herd"
"No. "
"How soon can I get ono after she fiercest"
"Jn fifteen minutes after you get hero. "
"Sure pop ! "
"Yes. Any particular hurry about it ? "
"Thcro Is. There's ' seven of us after the
same glil , and If slio says 'yos' ' to mo I've pot
to bo spliced Inside of half an hour , or she'll
change bur mind. I am just prospecting , jou
sco Bo prepared for a cyclone about two
dajs hence. "
force of Hnl > lt.
Sf. Joseph XlWS.
Physician What form docs his insanity
tale Tainlly Doctor Ho evinces a doslro to cut
nnd Blasn ovcryono and everything within
ivacli.
' 'Um. How do you account for it ! "Whut
was his profession I"
"General passoiiper agent of a railroad. "
"Oh , that accounts for it. Merely an ex
aggeration of habituil customs. Proceed vlth
your statement , doctor. "
ltay.7to
JVeiu VorH Herald.
If a body
Meets a body ,
Taken a gloss of ryo.
Takes another ,
And another ,
Need u. body cry !
If n copper
Whoso -whopper ,
With a savage grin ,
Draughts dub and
Gives rub-dub and
Takes a body In )
Roasted 'JL'oit Much.
Two old time Kentucky colonels were hiv
ing a quiet little talk In the corridor of the
hotel.
"I understand , colonel , " said ono , "that
you have not touched a drop of water for
years , sir ! "
"That is an exaggeration , colonel , " said
the other. "In this town you must count
upon getting your foot wet voiy often , sir.1'
Ono Hound Too Many ,
C'/odte / Ilalew.
"I fool done up , " the malden crlrd ,
"Tlint fnllmv. .Inch , vnn Irnnw.
Just Dogged for ono inoro round until
I said that I must go. "
"I'm ' done too " the
up , , jouth replied ,
"Much worse than you , I wet ;
Llko you my lound was with friend Jacls-
Ihs other liamo was Pot. "
.flavins : HOVOMJJO.
Fliciiaulo lllatttfr.
Ilorno ( to his friend at tlio concert , who
Is applauding enthusiastically ) Tor good
ness sake , don't ' man ; that was nbommablo !
You'll bring that cruel mualo butcher out
again 1
O'BowIo ' ( with Increasing enthusiasm )
Good 1 Can'tyou see he's ' halt fainting with ,
exbuustionl I want some revenge , my boy.
Ill-ass and < 3old.
IViiddp7il / < i Times.
In politic' It is not wise
1 rom wisdom's lofty stand
To maUo a inarch for victory
By moans of a brass band.
But then in matrimony's line ,
Tor luck your nims to bless ,
Just with a gold b ind search and so
You'ro bound to win success.
Not a New I < * nd ,
Denver Su .
Mrs DoVislto-Good afternoon , Miss
Blank. Is your mother nt homo ! Miss
Jilauk No. She has gone to Mrs. DoMueg's
progressive comersutlou party. By the
way , what sort of a party is taut , Mrs. l o-
Tlsito ) Mrs. DeVlsito-It is ono at which
the conversation begins with art , science and
literature and progresses verv rapidly to
fashion , posslp and servants.
A. .light qucozo.
Clmh Ucvtcio.
Bride elect Let's ' sec , dear , the wedding
takes place nt 0 nnd the train lua\os at 1" ,
nnd 1'vo Rot to change my satin wedJlnc :
drosH for ono to travel in. How cnn I do It <
Briden'rooni-olect Well , that will give jou
three hours , darling.
Bride olcet-Truo. But just think , I've '
got to bo kissed by all at my old adinli ors ,
Told in ( Jin licence.
Chicaya Tnttr-Occan.
In ancient days , the story goet.
When men and nature held their tryst ,
Unto the sun and moon and stirs
Mon , lovcr-llUro , thoirhands once kissed.
But in these days upon the hand
Mon press a Iciss and def tly blow It
Unto tlio stais alone that is ,
If they aroiuito ( sure their wives
IDuo't. ' know it ,
lioto Ger On ,
Manager Dan Frohmaii was asked the
other day what j\Unin and T > o did for a liv
ing when they wcro ejected fiom the Garden
of Bdon.
"I guess thov rnido use of the scandal and
wont on the stage. Tlio uorld Is a stage ,
jou know , " explained Mr. JTiohmaa.
Ho Never IJOSPH lluixrt ,
The minister tn. y spirit lose ,
The congregation lax become ,
Tlio choir may cot mdilteii'iit , too ,
But still the devil works right on.
1'iirt luulnr ,
The millimaii was turning nwaj when
little IllauchauxLlalinud :
"Sn\ , milkman I"
"Wliat is. It , little ouol" ho asked.
"Masayslf It don't make no difference to
ou sho'd llko to huvo spring w.ilor in the
inllk after this. "
AVnrU ol' the Tjohby ,
St. Isi'tfa LhrnnM' ,
A stroutr lobby went to Jeff City ,
And sang to the members a ditty ,
The woiklugmen's bills
Wont into tlio mills ,
And never ramo out moro's the pity ,
, Y lirato.
"You should not critlclso nio , Gcorijo , "
said the young wlfo. "ICind wards always
toino b.\ek to you , Cast your broad on the
waters and it will return to iou. "
"You aromistnucn , " ruturnotl Ooorpo , "if
you refer to this broad , ThU would sink at
OllfO. "
fftu 1'oik lrt i ,
A woild ho leaves
Of cares and frets ,
A circle grieves
Cause : Cigarettes.
011 llu-ilncss i'rlnclploi ,
Tom Yes , I always laugh at Johnson's
funny say ings , I am under certain obliga
tions to him , ) ou knwv ,
Jack- Why , -\\hat , a colnddoiico. I owe
Him money , too.
( otildii't lit * llupoudt'd On.
I'uclt : I.awyi'r You any the lira oc
curred on the JOth of larch. Can you s\\oir
positively to the dntil Jonah Hutnstod
No , ilr. Lawyer Why uotl Jonah
Humstod Wai , "twu " Uio 20th by thcr nl-
monncki but yor can't ' tioliovo nuythliiftycr
co in them poskyjHitoinnneil'clno things.
Out ol V\K\\\ \ \ \ .
PMtadetlM'l'T'-Mi.
"How are you , myboy1 ! I've ' been asking
all of your old friends about jou nnd they say
they novorseo you. Item out of the city ! "
"No , 1'vo simply lost all my fortune. "
Jly 13nricr ) ,
Mv barber's n peculiar man ,
\Vlth emphasis' t say ,
For though he's not sarcastic ,
Ita has A cutting % vay ,
A Jlcnvcnly Joke.
i\Vw I'oik IfcruU.
"Tho human race must bo awfully fast , "
said St. Potor.
" \Vhydoyouthinltsol" queried Gnbrlel.
"They nro nil out of broata whoa they got
here , " roturncd the gatekeeper.
A \V mnl ii g ,
ffew I'orlt Journal.
Ho donned his now spring ovcicoat
About two weeks too soon ,
.And now his shivering ghost doth lloat
In snaco at nilanlRht'snooti ,
Hunnliif ? Xu
Cloafc
She- Theselioopsklits nro for amateur
theatricals and jou can send the bill Jo tlio
box ofllco on the night of the performance.
Tlio Clerk If It's all the same to you ,
madam , wo would rather collect the inonoy
before the pcrf ormanco tak < js place ,
Ino .Stories.
Clna/c llcvtcu ,
She spoke with half rcRiotfulslgh.
Of other filrls' cipotiscs ,
j\nd held their foil ) up to scorn
In nil their moods aim tciisea.
.And when he'd gene , to her papa
Hho went straight way ind pleaded
IV just ono hundred dollars inoro
To got the gown she needed.
Her Itlc.iof It.
Mrs. Cullen Are wo going to bo homo this
ovenmp , Ocorgol
Mr Cullen Yes , I guess so
Mn. Cullen Thou don't jou think that If
wo are going to stay homo \\omight us well
go to the theatorl
Jlu.st lluvo Uittern
Kow York IMerourV Mr. Boaster I'd
have jou to know , Mr Curtly , that I come
of genuine bourbon stock : my family runs
hick to the time of Henry IV. ISlr. Curtly
Well , I guess jou'd bo willing to run back
that far yourself if jou couldn't get your
bouvlion any other way.
Ko I.Joubt Ho Had a Hand In It.
"Somebody has picked my pocket , " cried
the fat woman.
"Whom do you suspect' " asked the mUftet.
"Th.it sneaking nrrnlosswonder ovortliero
has n conscious look on his face. I bcliovo
it's ' him. "
_
Of ttiolluukivaiil Sort.
Tonltcn Gdzclle
"Tho spring is hero 1 The spring is horol"
Exclaimed tlio waking tenant ,
As swift ho did the footboaid clear
\ Vhiloavcdhls bedgown pennant.
But as ho stormed nnd fumed about
Llko the waters oil Capo Hatt'ras ' ,
And rubbed his back , It soon turned out
Jtio meant the spring of the mattress.
ti of nrc X < HITJH\\'EST \ ,
Nebraska.
The Wcbstor county fair will bo held Octo-
oor u , u , , a uiiuv. ,
Auburn business men are trying to obtain
a government signal service.
Snrpv county's ' ninth annual fair will ho
hold nt'PnplIl Ion September 10 to 10.
Tnlmago citizens are raising a bonus to so-
euro the erection of a Iqrgo planing mill
Tramps sot tire to the barn 9f A , Bothwoil
, at ITiemont and the strnbturtfvns destroyed
It Is said a deal has been closed which will
glvoKcd. Cloud a largo oil null and paper fac
tory ,
Kcv. ISIr , Gutho has boon Installed ns
pastor of the German Prosbjtorian church nt
IConrnoy.
Two thieves who stole sk pair of pants
from Herman Brothers of Grand Island have
been landed in jail.
A brldgo on the U &M. between IIol-
drcgo und Axtoll was burned Friday evening ,
delaying travel several hours.
Mrs , E J. White of Fremont died very
suddenly ol affection of tno brnlu while her
husband was absent from homo.
In the Saline count ? district court two
saloonkeepers were mulcted for damages ,
one for ? 700 find the other for 8300.
Burglars entered \Vichtel& Kriolle'shard
ware store at Ponder , but thov only suc
ceeded in making away with about S15 worth
of knives
The ice harvest at Crete is ended with a
record of 20,720 tons shipped to various points
in Kansas and Missouri. Over $18,000 hn\e
been paid to tlio workmen who gathered the
harvest.
The report that "White IVathcr , an Indian ,
married Missl lora Evertonor Hod Cloud , is
denied by thoTairbury World , which says
that the led man in question is In Faitbury
and still single on account of tbohnrdhcart-
edness of the county judge , who refused to
issue the necessary inarriazo liconso.
AFillraoro county woman who was brought
beioro tho'insanity boaid at Goncva for
examination , ns soon as she had sized up the
crowd , fell down on her knees and offered a
fer\cut prayer for their salvation. In spite
of this evidence of a sound mind the board
ordcicd her sent to the Insane asylum ,
"VV , C. Organ , nllas R. W. Cook , who was
arrested at Columbus two weeks ago for
forcing n chock for SUl.lOonVT. . lUikloy ,
which was cashed at the Columbus State
bank January , was tried in the district court
nnd found not guiltNo } sooner hud ho
been rcalcased than ho was rearrcsteu for
the ciimo of stealing ( W5 in gold from a bank
In Whmothekocounty , Iowa , cook was able
to piovo an ulibi in the case Just tried ,
A younc son of L. U. Baker of Battle
Creek amused himself the ether day liy allowing
'
lowing n long strip or cloth to wind'on a
horizontal shaft of n food mill. Uy some
means the cloth got wound around the boy's '
arm , and bofoio assistance could arrive ho
madono IMS than liftv revolutions with the
shaft , to which the little fellow had presence
of mlntt enough to cling with both fcot und
hands. Ho escape d Kith a broken arm ,
loivn Now ) .
The Adams county dork Issued rnarringo
licenses to forty coupleduring the past year ,
Joseph S. Anderson has , boon a inemDur of
the Codnrllaplds school board , for twenty-
ono years ,
Alittlochlldot Dennis llogan of McGregor ,
drank some concentrated lye and died a hor-
riblodunth , >
Tom "Wall , a colomd- sprinter , tin d Miss
May 1'Vanklin , a whlto girl were married at
Burlington. '
The two creamcrloj at Northwood made
and shipped 1W,000pounds , ol butterduring
the past joar. , , , ,
The record of the Mgjcjhalltown packing
house wai broken Wqcjnosday when lUJj
boss woie killoa. ,
'Ilia fifth annual convention of the Iowa
nnnkors' association Will b6 held in Sioux
City Juno l , 10 nnd M.ii
AVnltor Martin , oishtiyuars old , hm boon
sent from ICeokulc to tho. joorm ; school. Hii
father buid ha couldn'tcantrol ' him.
Many Uolont cases oMla gilppo are reported
ported ut Masoi Uity , but. no deaths have ro-
sullod aa yet. Hawnrdon has twenty cases.
Snorifl Drown of Chlc.iasaw county I :
twcntv-thrco jears old and tho. youngest
shuilH in the northwest , it not in the United
States.
Captain Dan Shields and his wife , tamper
nnco rovluillsts , propose to stump the state
with a circus tent capable of hokllug 15.00J
people nnd a brass bund.
Nicholas 1'oiris and his divorced wlfo
Barbara , both of Ifort Madison , uwcluJod to
try wedded lifo again and were married last
week for the second time.
Aslocknnd horse brooders' association In ?
been organUedat .Manchester. The plan Ute
to buy a largo farm adjoining the town und
breed and drive line hordes.
ACnstauu man advertises fora wlfo with
"bluo cjcs , auburn hair , good form , ago
about HO , weight 1:20 jwuiidj ; must boagood
bou'tokecnor und of u bright sunny tcinpoin.
incut , " ror such a iiaruKon hu will t'lvu lU1 ,
ton acres of laud uud a half lutcicbt lu sovcu
w \ 10 KEEPS PI E
"With the times , ard. wants something exquisite in a SPRING- OVER
COAT THA.T FITS , can obviate all tlie time , trouble und annoyance
usually gone through v/itli to secure wliat he wants at tlie laniicls of the
average tailor. We've got "em" in all that is new and novel in shade
andquality. We MAKE"EM" OU RSELVES. "Wemake THOUSANDS
of tliem. That's why we get th.e CUT AN D FIT so perfect. ( It's exper
ience. ) Our SPRING SUITS are the same way , everyone of tlaenahave
that N ATTY , N EAT and TASTY apearanee peculiar only to the CLOTHING -
ING MANUFACTU RED "by usandvlienyou stop to consider * tlaat all
these advantages can be secured in your SU IT or OVERCOAT , and by
far the largest stock in the city to select from , it is no great surprise to
find , us always busy.
Our CHILDREN'S .DEPARTMENT is -wonder in many ways ; the
people wonder at one entire floor occupied -with Boys' and Children's
clothing ; they -wonder again , at tlie variety and the beautiful styles in
which. th.ey are made up and their chief surprise and wonder comes
in when they see that our prices are even lo wer than they have been
accustomed to pay for common goods.
BeaUtiM Spring Goods in Every Department
Money Cheerfully Refunded in all
Cases Wlioro Goods
MIE NOT SATISFACTORY.
S. W. Corner I5th and Douglas. RELIABLE CLOTHIERS.
cows nnd n horso. Hots SO years old , uses
tobucco , but doesn't ' drink llo would prefer
a Urplu , ho sajs , but will consider applica
tions from \vnto\vs.
Miss Alice Starnmin loJ rcccntlynt Wus-
catlnt * . wpcl so\ontccti yours , llor death was
duo to linpuro virus boini } used when she was
vnceinatcd , which terminated In consump
tion.
tion.All
All tlio tobacco dealers ol Qrinnell bavo
agreed iiottosell cigarettes. Tlioyworo prevailed -
vailed upott by tbo ladles of tlio Women's
Christian Temperance Union , to sign n pledge
to that effect.
The Dulmquo Lodger says that nt a meet
ing of the Uiibuquo business men held n iow
dujs ago for the purpose of compiulnR notes.
11 was stated that 100 citizens of that place
oved twcnty-flvo merchants In suim aREro-
patliiBT iM0"Soraoof the Individual ikbts
\voro as largo as $0or ) .
It Is tot the extremes of heat and cold so
much asthosuddon ohnnges In temperature
tint cause certain climate to bo ucheilthful.
When , however , tno sj-stom Is Invliroratca
with .A-jcr's Sarsnparllla , thojo cliangcsaro
rarely attended with Injuilous results.
PLHiYSAN'JL' Mill
Collector Alevandcr Tolls or Ills East
ern Visit.
Collector . H. Alexander has returned
from a two months trip to the cast during
which ho visited Washington , apondlnp thrco
days in the city of masnlllcent distances , in
looking after matters pertaining to his oMco.
He then proceeded to dls old homo in Nor
wich , Conn. , stopping1 In Philadelphia nnd
Now York , en route.
Spcakln of his trip Mr. .Alexander sild :
"My trip was both plcasantand profitable.
.All thcofllclals whom 1 encountered in the
ticasurv department wcio oxcoodlugly cour
teous , making my two ortlireodays of busi
ness a real recreation. I called first upon
Major liraclcett , thief cleric , u pou whom. I
desired to uigo the necessity of dropping a
lot ofora out traps from the federal bullcl-
ing's Imrontoiy , and to arrange for the ro-up-
holstoilng oftheso dilapidated lounges , and
the hangiue o new curtains. If nothing
happens to chan go my plans , you will see a
change about these rooms bcforo long.
"Peinaps the most important of mror-
rands to Washington % vas in connection with
the importation of ores from Mexico and the
establishment of some basis for liquidating
entries fov Council Bluffs goods , without
compelling the merchants to ship them over
the bridge and back again.
"Under the now tariff act notable changes
have been niiido necessary in tue valuation
nnd entry of lead ores. The department Is
sued circulars , moroof an attvlsorj character
than mandatory , for tuoeuiihnco Of collec
tors , in the light of such Information as could
then bo obtmnod , ICxperiauco lias shown
that some modifications should bo made ,
cannot explain the matter to you fully , be-
ciuso It Is n long story , only to bo definitely
determined by the secretary of the treasury ,
after careful consideration. Pending such
decision sulllclentlatitudo hai been permitted
to ease matter * tip very materially , and I am
hopeful that a great part of the shipments of
ore to the smelters here , will corno directly
through in bond , Assistant SecretniTV'
Spauldlnjjho is In chorsjo of * the customs
department , requested mo to put my MOWS
in writing nnd send them on to bo tukert up
in detail when the secretary cois settled into
office.
"I was also fortunate In gelling
authority to perfect arroueoinnnts ,
hy which Council Bluffs Importers -will bo
greatly conveulonced. The seciotary is
thoroughly set ngilnst having thit city con
stituted a port ot del tcry. . or any other city
Mllh in easy reach of an already cstabltshetl
nort , hence It Is dcsIraWoto make the most
liberal arrangements possible , und this will
Uodono.
"I have also been authorized to arrange for
an examination room for the hotter carrying
on of our b'uslaoss hero In Omahl , and bo-
cured the appointment of my cleric , Mr.
Crumb , as guagernnd inspector , making the
vorUiuitfouo in the ofilco inoro completely
equipped forsoi'vlco. "
"What 'is the latest ratardlnR block SOI"
"Oh , the nostofllre ; well , nothing hns yet
been done on the plans , but Mr , Winnriin
MJS lie holies , indeed ho expects , to get tuo
foundation m this yenr , They could mnuo
no moovlilla \ the incicaso In appropriation
\vas pending , but elnco that has been shut out
nt least for along time , the plans will bo
started on the basis of fSOO.Ow. Jho aiohi-
tcct's force is crowded to death , almost , nnd
Ins nioto uorlc authorized thin can bo
vrouKhtoutln years , but the Omaha bulla
Ing is well up toward the hoail of the list. "
NATURAL FRUIT FLAVORS ,
Vsnillo , - Of porfoot purity.
Lemon -I
- Of crpat stroneth.
Alrntmtl [ Economy in thoirueo.
Rose etc J Flavor na dollcatoly
r.nd dcllclously as tlio fresh ftuit ,
THEGREAT LIVERand STOMACH REIV1EDY
Cure ? nil tltsoitlcrs of tlio Sloinncli , l.lvcr , Itonols , Kilony ? , Hlwlilor , Nonoua
] > Irasos , Lojsof Apucillc. llcailnche , Consllpnlloii. l'osl\eni ! \ > si. Inllgcstl > , Biliousness -
ness , Fcu'r , Piles , Etc , , and rentiers the sjstiMiilessliaWc tocoutinut disease.
DYSPELPSIA. ,
UA.DWAV& PTLI.S nroa euro fortliiscoiiipliliit Tliry tnno uiitho Internal sccrotlons t
lioullliy action lostoru strenutli to Iho stomach , mill oiinhlo It to Dorform Its tunotlous.
I'rko Slica box. hold by all driiKslsts , or mailed by HADWAV & (0. ( . aj Warroii fctreot , Jo\i (
York , on receipt of price.
Physicians , Surgeons and Specialists ,
STliELEi'.r
OMAHA , NEB.
Tno most widely nnd favornhly knownspeo-
lallsls In tlio Unftol States. Their loiip ox-
porlouce , romarUiiblo skill and uiinor alsuc-
COM In the treatment nnd euro of Morions ,
Chronic ind burgleal nheaiin , oiitltlo these
onihu > nt pliyslelnns to the full oonfldenco ol
tlioiillllctc'd ourywhnro They Kuuran too :
A ( JEICTA1N AND rOSITIVE OUHE for
thoawJulnlTects of curly vice and the numer
ous evils tliatfollow In Us truln
I'UIVATE. ' 11I.OOI ) AND HIC1N IltSKARES
, cotnpliitely and pprnmiu'iillv turotl ,
S lBBIUTYA.Nl)8K.\UAIjUIS- ) )
O1UICI13 yield roadlly to their slcllltul treat-
AND RT.OTAII utonus
truaranlceil cured without pabi or detention
from liiHlnosH
IIVnilOOKLF. AND VAK1COOKLE perma
nently nnd snocossliilly cured In ovoryoiso ,
hVI'IIILIH , aOIsOHKHKA. OIjF.F.r. Bpor-
nintorrlioi , Hcmlunl Weakness I.ostMuiihood ,
Nlsht Kmlsslons. HeeajMl I'ucultlos , l'"cnii .lo
ilclloiilo cllwrdurs peculiar
to Plther sox posltholy curtil , as ell ns nil
functional < 1 Itortlcnth at roBult from youthful
follies or the Picossnt until re yours
Q'Pl ? IfvPI lk'1 ' ? Ouiriiutcod purnmn o nt 1 y
O llxlvil Ul\l _ , ciiro l , roiniiviil coninloto ,
wllhontenttln ? , cnustioor dilatation. Cures
olTcctnd at liomo by intiout without o mo
ment's pain orannoyaiici' .
TO YOUNG AND MIDDLE AGED MEN.
A TTPR finli Tlio awful efforts ot
/YOUnl. . V/U1\L curly vltu which brlnss
orsnnJowcaVnpss. dpitioyliiK both mind nnd
body , \vltb all Its droado'l Ills , permanently
cured.
'HP's 111 < 'ITQ Address thoie who have 1m-
i-/l\kl. / DLillO [ Hiiod theim IMS by lin-
proper Indulgeiico and solitary nahlt . which
ruin both mind and lied ) , xinlUtlux them for
biHlno-vi. stinlv or marrluco.
MARIIinn MHNor thosu cntorlns on that
liappy life , auuru of physical debility , quleltly
aesUtcd.
DUE SUOOESS
Isbasod upon facts. First Practical experi
ence , Second Kvory ease Is specially Htudlud ,
tlius Btartlnit rlglit Third inudluliiu are
prepared In our laboratory exactly to suit
each case , thus ofTccUiiKC\ireiwltioiit ! Injury ,
Dfs. Belts & Belts ,
1409 DOUGLAS STREET , OMAHA , NEB
COLDS IN" THE HEAD , by ono application.
OATAJ3IUI , in a very start time ,
HAY PEVEE , in. from 3 to 5 days ,
EARA.OHE , instantly.
FIFTY CENTS A. BOTTLE.
roil SAM : iiv AM , nuuaaisTS.
I'lonuud only liytliu
I'llCXOUNK M l-1lllOI.MoJ. :
Unrknr lllouk.Uniuhii. . US. A ,
Winslow ilkes ,
Tha fneteut 4-yoat-old paoliij stallion In the
Worlil ,
HcroriHII l-'J , nt'l.oiliiktton , ICy , , 3 < 1 hont.br Illnrk
\Mkeu. doni br Aliuuut .U will nmkn tha mn uf
IK/Ut / 1141 Vluton HUoot , ClinhaNub. BLAHusI ij
COt.1.01V.
Dr. f.C. DILLfflCS , asgi ;
GUI I Do to
Isa question that daily presents itsoll
tolmndrodsnnd hundrodsof the road-
crsof this papor. Many among this anny
of sick nnd suffering onoa have boon un
fortunate in selecting their physician ,
Many liavo boon in sled , imposed upon ,
swindled and nro lusrON.DJNT ) , bis-
COUIIAOKD ana SKKPTICAI , . They
don't know who to employer which
way to turn to lind the help they need
so much
Nearly all huvo pronsiUy noticed the
advertisement of DK , F. 0. IDILLINGS
that hus appeared in this pnper dnily.
Very many have read it carefully , not
ed tlio claims tliorein mode , and have
culled for consultation or written n
81 ate men t of their cas > o. Thosu luvvo
almost in variably bciorno putluntsund
are now hii ) grateful Iriendsr There are
rnuny others who know that such an
udvortlsomont lias nppoaied in the pa
per , out huvo never rend it , preferring
tobiiy to thonisolvobi " 0 , pshaw ! an
other quack docloi' . Ho cannot catch
me ; L have boon humbugged too many
times. "This class are surely HUM-
35UQG1NO 'iHKStsisiWKS for there are
THOUSANDS Of MKN AND WO3I1SN in the
"Weat who KNOW that DR. DII/LINGS
is the iiosr sucoKbsruiolllco prauti-
tionor and specialist west of Chicago
Then there ib nnottior cluss ot Bufiorora
who , reudlntr tie ! doctor's honest un-
nouncemont , will say : "Well , if I only
KXKWttmt DIl. DILIKG H could DO
\VIIA-T n is or > Aisi8 ho can do here , I
would go unit try him at once. " Tims it
is that many are prevented fromeooU-
inpr hcli ) at the him da of ono who is
qualified to iillord it. 1'A'J'JiY CIAIM
made by Dr. nillinps ia lloxiiSTT-Y
iviAl ) ! ! . Uo does not treat nuuto d isensefl.
and if asked to tionta case of Typhoid
Fever OP Diphtheria ho would refuse
upon tlio pica of lack of experience in
such casos. But the stubborn , liiicor-
in , Uiuigorqus and upouinl ( iisoasoa
cnuincriilod in his ndvcrLiscniunts ho
treats with satisfying and often AS1OK-
IhlllKO
may bobrloly nmned ni
IISHAiS ) ! : OP 'JMir JtlOOI ) , liifluilliUMiool-
llo Hl.Uun l'JIMN. ) MA , MCltVOUS UIS-
IASKS : AI II DibiiAsis AMI wi\i ; <
IfllOMWIlIUIIOMKN Kill rnialt ! ti
nirootlnir Um niur.B'l'ION. AHhIMI NATION
niul NllTUinoM , all ( 'atarrliiil Tronlili' . . ml
Id'ctnl rriniWort. nil Ocnlto-Urln.iry TroiiliiM
niul nil dlbdsos of n prliato niituit' , NO
lItUO ) CJIVKN , AKUIHncs aru
iiiostly piopuiud from roots , lurlc * , K"IUS ,
htrbs. ihititis , nto. I'utlen tsaro Iiirnlshc'd ult
HIM ! lolncs vliliotit extra cost. Uonsiillatlim
fno. I'atloiiti BucocsHdilly troutul bycnrro-
Hiundouru. | Kbuuth 15th atrcct. Oninfiii.Nol ) .
- _ - _ - A BUfTURt
i'rnlvoreHtllko"Ir. ( llu aanctlo J Uiilio
IniBn. " Itlusrurriltliouianilil llycu wunt tin
III.HT.ioiii ! Ia 1 11 lUuiin < ur ( ica Ijm | > lilvt Ni > . I.
Miuiifllo Hlnillo'Iru t'o. . nan I'rnncKcc'nl
DI m UV t.Y-I > r I.pil lie's rorioniral Pill
tlio K'cnrh rtmeilf , ( t on the uicnnlnml MMlcin nn
< -ure Miipi > roiilo troui nliuluTti mime. I'roinoto
> iiiii > triuilon Tliciv | illli > lioiilt notliu tukin ilur-
tin . ; ! < 'r , Am I'lll I'o , Itujnlty l'r i > * , H | > oa
ctt ( .hi ) to , I * tjonulnu lijr hliuriumiA MiCoiiual
> L , iiutf 1 * . U , Oinilin. I , AMolober , ttuui
1 % Lii , t'ouiioU liluli. Jor , JlorU.