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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 8, 1891)
PART TWO. OMAHA SUNDAY PAGES 9 TO 16. TWENTIETH YE Alt. OMAHA , SUNDAY MORNING , FEBRUARY 8 , 1S01-SIXTEEN PAGES , ' * s = T = r We have purchased lease and fixtures of the former owners , and will continue to carry on the business the same as heretofore at "The Fair. " All dc par tin cuts have been entirely restocked with new goods , and we will have everything marked in plain figures so that a child can buy as cheap as its parents , and would solicit the former patrons and the public at large in the city and surrounding country , to call and inspect our different departments. While we will endeavor to please you all a5 to prices , you can rely on getting nothing but the best standard goods. We never misrepresent any article in our establishment but will sell you these standard goods at 4crw prices. Owing to the fact that our eastern buyer having purchased too heavily for the amount of room in our store , and with new goods arriving daily , we begin to find ourselves already overstocked ; so we have decided to give some special prices for tomorrow , Monday , in all departments as follows : 20 pieces of Half Wool Dress Goods , in all shades , worth ; c , to-morrow at 4c. Co pieces Gardner & Simpson's , also imported French Sateens , spring styles , 32 inches wide , best quality , worth iSc and L , 260 , Monday , at 9j c a yard. 12 pieces Alapacas , imported goods in all shades , 27 inches wide , worth 250 ; they go to-morrow at 15c a yard , 40 pieces All Wool , Spring Weights , 36 inches Habit Cloth , good value at 35c ; our price is 10C a yard. /O2 pieces of English Mohair , 36 inches wide ; these goods in * plaids and stripes ; regular selling price 4oc ; we will sell them at 27 a yard. 8 pieces of All Wool Flannels , 52 inches wide , medium weight , worth 6oc ; have them on sale at 35c a. yard. dozen of Ladies' Imported Irish Point Handkerchiefs , full embroidered , all the latest designs , fully worth 250 , 35 500 and 750 each ; these are great bargains at lOc , 12c , 19c and 35c each , the prices we will sell them at. Clothing Departmen 175 pairs of Single Pants Iti plain nnd striped , Rood styles , worth from 81.25 , $1.85 nnd 52.10 each. Will close thorn out At 90c pair , 400 PAIRS f10 ALL POL Id Such na you pay 84.00 nnd $0.00 for to a mer chant tailor. "Wo will close thorn At $2.25 pair. 400 Men's Dress Coats Samples , in all possible shades ; all wool , in Backs , cutaways -and Prince Alberts , worth from $4.l'0 ' to $12.00 ouch. Take your choice flrst come , first borvcd At $1.85. 55 Men's Cheviot Suits In nice Spring styles , worth $8.00. Our soiling price At $3.85. 150' Men's Worsted Suits In cutaways nnd pucks , in 4 shades. They are a bonu lido bargain at $11.00 each. Wo will lot you have them At $6.85. Our Boys' Suit Department is complete. We will give you a full line at 90c each. Sizes 4 to 14 , worth double. Knee Pants of all descriptions at 25c a pair , sizes from 4 to 14. Call and inspect our bargain list in each department , and we will be glad to take pains and show you around. T , We have 4000 pairs of Men's and Ladies' Shoes--Sclz , Schwab & Co. , of Chicago , custom make every pair warranted , We bought them cheap , and owing to want of room , they have got to go. CO pairs of Ladies' front lace Cur. Kid , geol : value at $1.50 , selling price for this sale , 4bSc pair , 300 pairs of Ladies' Button Shoes , dongola and kid , some with patent leather tips , worked button holes , hajul- tur'ncd , worth $2.75 , selling at atS1.2O pair , ICO pairs of Children's Shoes , all sixes from 3 to 7 , at 3Sc pair , 180 pairs Oxford Ties , in all styles , in Kid or dongola , good value at $1.25 , to sell at this special sale at © T7c pair. .JAmpixo MQIJPAS be e Special Prices should make them a great event for buyers. " " " I F I iTT77 JP fID ' ' 50 ' 5t ) dw506'"S0IJT , L. U.-LOtLiVY O6 OvJ.9 "rOD rS.9 CORNER HOWA.RD. WILL HOLD THEIR CHARTER , Oniaba Enrbors Will Eeor an'zs anil En deavor to Bavo Their Union. OFFICERS OF THE CENTRAL LABOR UNION. Oninlia nt the HriukmnkcrH' nnd Na tional Hiiildcr * ' Conventions * \Vhnt Laborers Are Doing Hero nnd KlHowhcro. The South Omaha barbers have taken steps loolutip towards the organization of a union. Thursday night they hold a rousing meeting which was addressed by W. U. Mussor , William Sobrlug and others of Omaha , who advocated the action proposed by the South Omaha men. After the ad dresses it was decided to send delegates to the Central Labor union to ask for admis sion. In the matter of organization the harbors of South Omaha nro far ahead of their brothers in this city. Two ycnrs ago the Omaha bar bers had ono of the strongest unions in the city , hut n factional fooling worked its way into the ranks and the organization prac tically went to pieces. A re-organization was effected and for n time harmony prevailed , but it was only for a short tlmo. The Sunday closing order was adopted by n mimbor of the largo shops , but ns the smaller shops would not fall Into line the union split upon this rock , since which time Omaha has been without a harbors union that has been woithy of the numo. They Talked of Pnvlnj ; Ilrluk. The National convention of brlckmakors , held in Indianapolis , hid. , has closed and most of the delegates have returned to their homes , though Ulchnrd Smith , who ably represented Omaha and her Industries , is still absent , having gone on to Now Vort ! city , where ho will remain n coupla of weeks. The convention was an interesting ono nnd \vasnltondcd by' ) . ' . " > delegates , nearly every atato In the union being represented. During the last dny of the convention , much time was given to the discussion of paving brick nnd brick pavements. Mr. J. O. Shea of Dccntur , 111. , was the first speaker. Ho was not only1n hrickinakor , hut a contrnctor.nnd had enjoyed un extended experience In this line. Irick pnvuniuut , hu kumv , gave bettor satisfaction , where It had been tried , than any other material. Ho dis cussed the various sizes of paving bricks , the economic virtues of various clay.s , the proper manner of laying brick pnvlni : , etc. Mr. Ik-attlo of Atchlson , Kas. . next spoke. Ho considered the poorest brick pavement bettor than the best wood. In his state sta tistics showed this to bo the fact. In Omaha only vltrllied brick pavement would now bo accepted. Ho nnd laid several miles of tirlck pavement In Atchlson nnd it had given the best of satisfaction nnd hnd outworn all oth er forms of pavement. Mr. Anthony Ittnor of St. Louis said ho bo- lloved In brlcU pavement and thought it Would soon supplant granite , though that largely depended upon the brlclc makers. If they undo good bricU It would bo used. Ho wanted to see brick take the plnco of all oth er pavements. Mr. 1'urington cited an Instance In Chicago Whore paving brick had outlasted all other pavements and giwo It as his opinion that thU ' ' ' would soon bupcrsude grunlto for Mr. Calloway called attention to the Impor tant test of paving brick regarding Us linpcr- to moisture Nviousness put In a strong claim for ury-prcbs paving brick , A discussion on "Vitrified BrlcU , " led by Mr. Tllhiny , was the next number. The only vny to discover the bo.it clav to make paving irlelc was to experiment. There are lulinlto nrleties of clays and almost ns many moth- > ds nt' handling and mixing. In his opinion , n the process of vltrilnction , it was well to top Just before vitrlfnetlon is complete , else he whole burn might bo ruined. lie then rave the delegates much valuable Informa- iou regarding the manner nnd method of unking paving bricks , and related several in stances In point. Mr. Lay ot Montlcollo , Ill.wantod to know ho difference In cost between thu cost of lurning paving brick and common building jrlck. boveral gentlemen replied , but no dellntte result could bo attained. Mr. Kichnrdson of Cleveland said that in ils city several companies nro working n vltrillcd building brick" . Ho had not made a success ot It nnd wanted information as to how to mini a large kiln of these brick. A resolution was handed to the secretary , who asked if it should bo read , seeing it hud not passed through the usual course. After some discussion the motion was withdrawn by Mr. Smith of this city , the mover. The motion , which was innocent enough upon its face , but concealed n bomb , was carefully but llrmly squelched , and thus the most sen sational feature of the convention was evaded. The resolution was as follows , and Mr. Smith gave notice that ho would present It at thu next convention : Itc.iolved. That It Is the sonsn of this associ ation that the time of Its convention should btuu-uuplod latuoly by men engaged In prac tical lirlcktiiuUlnx , rather than representa tives of various patent processes machines , oto. . ri > lntlvo tot ho buslnois of making bricks ; to the end that tliobrlukinnkuRi In attendance may prollt by thu experiences and opinions of tliulr lirotlimsln thu business , and talcuuwuy with tliem SMIIO practical Ideas on the sub ject of thulr business. And Hesdlved , That , as tlio various patent pro- cessuH and imichfnoiln us-o In our nnslness uro necessary to thu piogtuss oJ thu Industry , und InUircHtlng to ns us tirlokmukers , and that u < ot aputtnnu daydurlnK each convention for thu special iiso of thu patent-right and 11111- ohlnu men to five them u full and fair oppor tunity too.xplaln their various Inventions fur thu bunullt of thu association , tlie bulunco of the tlmu of tlio convention to bo duvotcd o\- eluslvuly to the use. of the actual bookmakers In the convent Ion. This resolution was undoubtedly suggested by the fact that a good deal of the convention had been given to the discussion of various kilns , brick machines , etc. , rather than the practical making of bricks , nnd that the agents of thcso patent rights had consumed a good tlcal of time on the lloor. Mr. Smith then suggested that at the next convention the machine nnd kiln men bo given u room npart where they might exhibit tlielr wares frco from Inturuptlon to the con vention , nnd that during the convention's session the doors should bo locked in order that no interruptions should occur nnd that the delegates mh'ht not bo disturbed in the consideration of th6 real business before them. The suggestion met with almost unanimous approval. The selection for the plnco for holding the next convention was lett with the members of the executive committee. The cities In the contest nro Omaha , bloux City and Washington. The Ccnil-ill Labor Union. At the meeting of the Central Labor union held lost Friday night , the following ofllcors were elected for the ensuing year ; neorgo W. Wlllard , president. W. It. Musser , vice president. William Sebrlng , recording secretary. August Uocruiair , financial secretary. Julius Mover , treasurer. Charles Newstrom , sergoant-nt-arms. Hoard of Directors W. B. Mussor , chair man : W. U. Bennett , J. L. Kingwalt , Jcsso Hluko , Harry Williams. Committee on Organization W. D , Mus ser , chairman ; Jcsso Blake , Sterlinglidnie- man , O. Decker , tS. . Horton , S , B. Smith , Charles Xcwstroin , F. B. Warner. Kmergoney Committee Julius Mayor , chairman ; Thomas Kclsoy. secretary ; Jumos Kci.noy , William Coodln , ' John Qulnu , Aucust ncenium , T. L. Kingwalt. Meetings are held at Gate City hall , corner of Thirteenth and Douglas streets , on the ccond nnd fourth Friday evenings of c.ich nnnth. The union is composed of the following lelegatcs from the following named labor as semblies : Iron moulders , 180 , II. II. Kirby , John Ravenhnmp , John Qulnu. Typographical , 1'JJ , Ocorgo Wlllard , N. S. Million , F. S. Horton. Cigarmukcrs , J. B. Schupp , C. L. New strom , Charles Gatchman. Tin , sheet iron nud cornice workers , David Norris , Fred Kendler , W. K. Smith. Machine wood workers , W. S. Sobring1 , William O'Brlan , Frank Hoacock. Carpenters and Joiners , 5 $ , W. D. Musser , John Nelson , J. A. Cruthcrs. Painters nnd decorators , S3 , J. Brophy , C. Sadilok , A. Moreen. Plasterers , 1 , F. F. Warner , Sterling Ed- dlcman , Hurry Williams. Painters nnd decorators , 100 , G. F. Dom- jrowskl , Charles Larson , Fred IJahlberg. Plumbers , O. A. Henderson , T , Swing- wood. Stonecutters , K. J. Kuymond. J. T. War ren , Joseph Henkol. Tailors , August Bccrman , Frank Bitters , [ I. C. Johnson , Coopers , 1 , J. M. Baldwin , James Hasmus- scn , James Cummins. Saddle and harness makers , 10 , W. H. Mar tin , Peter ICowlz , T. C. ICelsoy. Musical Union 2J , F. W. Lessentln , Henry Dunn , C. F. Fen ton. Colored Barbers , S. B. Smith , W. U. Gnm- hie , G. R Franklin. K. or i , . iiin.noATEs. Sfll-l , Jainos M , Kenney , Thomas Bennett , Richard Cody. 10TSIU , Roland Thorp , P. Sweeney , P. McEUlgot. 51)37 ) , Julius Mover , Gustavo Paulus , Mao. Morris. liSI5 , L. J. Him , II. E. Easton , John Bowles. 7'jy , W. A. J , Goodin , John Hutson , Charles Uosonqulst. ( U. J. C. Monnlnger , Albert Morrow , T. McGulro. flll-J , Jcsso Blake , J. C. Tlornoy , E. R. Overall , IIX ) , C. G. Fllnk , William Wnlgrcn. J. II. Kreckscn. 'SKI , A. Miller , II. C. Clark , A. B. Ham- mond. KBO , Joseph Vusku , Charles Posplsil. Frank Posplsil. ! 79,0. G. Decker , T. L. Rlngwalt , II. W. Petty. 45IU , T. A. Megeath.Ckurlcs A. Nelson , M. Fabriuo. National ItulldcrH. The Builders' and Traders' oxchanpo of this city has selected Richard Smith , Jacob J. Jobst luml Alex Shull M delegates to the lifth annual conven tion of the National Association of Builders that convenes In Now YorR on Feb ruary 0 for a six days session , The convention will In many respects boone ono of the most uotablo of the kind over held In the cast. Ono of the special features of this conven tion will bo an inspection and study of the trade schools established by Colonel Auch- muty of Now York , which offer the finest ex ample of what has been and can bo done by Individual philanthropy nnd effort in the preparation of the youth of the country for actual work as Journeymen In the various trades. In addition to this the committee felt that It was equally desirable to offer to all delegates an ocular demonstration of the possibilities for work in this pamo direction by exchanges of builders , and in connection therewith an object lesson of other possibili ties for good work by such exchanges In the way of a building exhibit , and buildings owned by exchanges and devoted ex clusively to the Interests of the build- lug fraternity , which demonstration nnd object lesson could bo obtained by in spection and study of the property of tlio builders' exchange of Philadelphia , which exchange bas carried out mpru fully than any other ot the lllial organizations of the national association the Ideas as to prac tical work which were a part of the original declaration of principles und which have since been persistently recommended nnd urged. The committee confidently expected that thcso two mos > t important visits could bo ac complished during the tlmo originally as signed to the convention , but it has been found imposslolo to compass both studies in that time without seriously embarrassing Colonel Auchmuty and the business of tbo meeting proper ; and inasmuch ns un oppor tunity of inspecting and studying a thoroughly equipped exchange Is of im mense importance to the delegates of nil filial bodies throughout the country , particularly at this stage in their experience , both as an incentive and as a guide , mM inasmuch ns such an opportunity would not bo presented again so conveniently for some years to como , it has been decided todovotoun additional day to this undertaking as n part of tno busi ness of the convention. Many other features will bo introduced calculated to make the convention of great prollt as well as interest to all the delegates. HeHoliitionij of Condolence. Whereas , It has been the will of an all- wise providence to remove from our midst Simon Hoffman of local N/p. / 22 , Omaha Mu sical Mutual Protcctlvo union , and a delegate to this body. Hesolvcd , That wo deeply deplore the loss of Brother Hoffman , who was n Rood , zeal ous and devoted member , an earnest worker and a true advocate of labor ; Hesolved , That wo oxtoud to his bereaved family our heartfelt sympathy in the loss of a beloved husband , an indulgent father and a respected citizen , ; Hosolved , That these resolutions ho printed In Omaha United Labor , THE OMAIII DIM : , ' and n copj bo sent to Ids' bereaved family and spread on the minutes. .Tui.ius Mr.vnn , DAVID Moiiuif , TC. . KII.HIV. : C. L , U. Committee. Important K. ( if I * . ' Mertlnjj. * There will bo a special jncotlng of Local assembly No. 2122 , Knirfllts of Labor , at Gate City hall , Tuesday evening , February 10 , 1891. All members ot tuo order are cor dially invited to attend. Matters of impor tance will bo transacted and a full attend ance is requested. . Fit for Jury , Teiat SllUnu * . Doctor You nro much improved , but you must avoid all mental exortlQii. whatever for the next six months. ' Patient But , doctor , I , have got to do some thing for n living. Doctor/-Havo you any acquaintance with any court officials ) Patient Yes , I know several. Doctor AVell. cot them to put you on the Jury In the court of goiicnil sessions until you have recovered the use of Vour mental facul ties. I always recommeqdjjury duty to my patients when they nre'feoulo-mlndod. ' Careful of ti$4Ittlo. | "Kashls , " shouted tho' colored blacksmith to his son , "como or way. f'um dnh ; do fus ting yoh know's dat msw.ol will klch yon In do back of do hatd , " , , "Might kill me pop , mightn't it ! " "I duuno , out yoh dotsn1 'sposo I's gwlno to take nnv chances of havln1 dut mewel's bin' hoof split wldo open , does yerl" Cluiroli Oi'vini ; . H < ( on Traveller , Actually occurred in Boston : "Suppose you didn't want to speak u word to nny one. after that beautiful sermon this morning. I saw you hurrying out of church. " "O , no ; that wasn't the rensorf , I wanto to see whether Hay Senior's gown was plulP or draped In front. Sho's-Just returned from Europe , you know. " ; The lover who Is reading her proofs of af fection doesn't ohlcut to miss priuU. TO BE TAKEN FOR THE BLUES What the Wits Are Doing to Make Lifo Worth Living and to Earn Their Salary. SHORT SERMONS IN PALATABLE FORM. Philosophy nnd Contl Ailvlco DIs- Kinsud in Sugar Continn-i I'iek- iii S mill Healings from iMnny Sources. On a Tenr. "Two souls with but a single thought , Two hearts that beat ns ono" Great was the damngo that they wrought Before tlio night was done. The souls were eke two cowboys bold , Each bent on whisky str.ughts ; But a sheriff's posse laid thorn cold Era St. Peter banged the gates I A Hafts Test. Peddler Do buy those eyeglasses , sir I They're as strong ns iron and you can't brea'kthcm. Why , I'vo been thrown todav out of three houses and not a single glass was smashed. < ; < uii ( ! In with HJH Club. MinncnitoU * Journal. Baseball cranks will bo glad to hear that the rules of tlio gaino nro observed onee moro at Pine Ktdgo. Two Strikes is no longer out. Conscientious Jury. . Judge Hem ! Your vordlct scorns to ho decidedly mixed. foreman of Jury Yes , your honor. It's in accordance with the evidence. On Kniry Lillian. Our airy , fairy Lillian walks up "tho golden stair , There's not an nngol un there who with her can compare ; And , now the gleaming , pearly gnto behind our darling slams , \Vo sadly mourn and deeply grieve she ate two dozen clams 1 Economy In Display. JVcui Vnrfc Sun. "That was n great jewel Mrs. Hcslingbury had on last night. " "What wus ill" "It was n llvo Brazilian beetle with n big diamond strapped on Its back. It was trained to fly around her node , thus giving the ollcct of a diamond necklace , " An I'.xiiinplo Not Kollowod , Ho ( looking nttho clock ) Ahl time flics ! She ( yawning ) Yes , and how few emulate the excellent example which Time sots. A Dronm to Ito Stoppud. A' 10 Vial ; Sim. Ho Philosophy teaches us marvellous things. She Indeed ? Ho Yes , For Instance , it teaches that I am merely n dream existing In your mind er , but why nro you pinching yourself I She I'm trying to uwnko from the Uro.im. Taking Thniii Down , TJinw. "Seo that party therol Ho doesn't look very much like n lighter , but there isn't a man in this town ho can't take down. " "A slugger ! " "No , a shorthand writer. " Saved Her tliu Trouble. American flrvrtr , Landlady Let's ' see , Mr. Impccuno owes mo lor three week's board. You needn't mind dusting Mr. Impccuno's room this morning , .lane. . , Tauo-No , mum ; the gliitloinan's done it hlssolf. Landlady -Done whiitl Juno Dusted. _ _ Kmoiiioii. . AVto l'oi/t / Ifcrald. She were a fur-bordered gown , And n capo with a collar high ; And u furrlu1 chap in u furry cap , Took her muff as I passed by. I longed to hear her voice , Sol paused and then turned back In tlmo to hear In accents clone "How fur you goin' , Jockl' An Unkind AlliiHion. Six Foot Miss Prettypcrt is rather witty , isn't she ! , , Loighluw Why , what has sbo been say- Six Foot-Lust night ns wo stood on the uskod mo to please huud her a star. Tlmo and Ijtrrnlty. Ethel Do you tniuk there will bo marriages - riages in heaven ? Maud For your anko I trust o , dear. Eternity may furnish you the opportunity which tlmo refuses. U Looks Ho. "What shall yon call your fiu-wl" "My Tailor's Bill. " "Ah ! Bid for n long runl" Why HoVnn Spared. SI. Joseph i\Vii . "I have often faced dc.ith , " .said the plain- looking traveler. " 1 c.m quite understand why ho spared you , " said the cynunl friend. Uooin at th > Top. "There Is plenty room at the top , my son , " Were his fnttici's last words as ho bade him peed by. But he found ere the prbo ho had wearily won That the mountain ot foituno run up very high , For thn room nt nls topwascxccodlngly bare , And his crying need was n now crop of hair. Kll'cuts of Alarm. flldliimpolf * Journal , Ynbsloy They say that If a woman Is frliriitcno'd by souiu sound in the night she promptly pulls the covers over her head and goes to sleep iipiln. Is that so , Wiekwirol \Vicitwiro-GuebS it is , That's the way the alarm clock scorns to effect our cook. _ _ _ _ _ Chance of Connolatloii. First Bohemian Well , old fellow , I won't have nny use for my plpo before long. I'm going to bo marrlod. Second Bohemian Vo3,1 see. You'll take to drink then. All In I "our IJIIICH. G'npj dm ! Item. Ho entered the sanctum ono cold winter day. On this earth you no longer will Hud him ; An Inquest was hold " and the vuralet they say , Wna : Ho didn't cloio the door behind him A Tender Kcellnc. Nomhy She Is very i-lch. Do you suppose ho had li tender feeling for horl Hooks Of course , of couMo-a legal t n- dor fool I lit' . ( Jot Kvnii. ' "I'm going to sell my horsed' ' "U'liutforl" "For cash , " "Oh. Indued , 1 thought it might bo for uouo and hide , " _ Couldn't Stay Put. "Is thcro a Htutlonory Btoro In townl" asked n visitor at 11 Kansas hotel. "No , sir , " replied thoclork , ns bo shook tils head , "this town is in the cyclone holt. " A Mimu Meaning , MUs Dasher aavo uccn shopping today papa , and I wish you would iirraiiRO to bo a | homo when the things come. 1 have ordered , everything C. O. D. Dasher , Senior Ah , yes , I understand , That means Cull on IJ.id. Ills Una ! Meaning. 'For yon , dear girl , " salil Jnspor Jaggs , "I'd go tlirougb lire and water I" And vmrm nnd fervent was his mien As orthodox cxhortcr. Next day she met him on tlio street , Ho'd just imbibed n "snorter ; " Said she , "I guess you meant , for mo , You'd go through lire water. " llml iIoinlH. "What's the matter with Stlggs ? II looks awfully ill. " 'Got disease of the Joints , I think. " 'What , rheumatism ! " 'No , opium joints. " Way Ahead. 'TIo\v \ can you tell n self-made muni" 'You can't ' tell him can't tell him nny- thing. Ho wont let vou. Ho knows It all. It \ \ UH Hard. rilejuule Hinder. "You nro discontented with the wages ! piy you , and yet at Mrs. Ilrown's you dldn'tt hiivounv moro. " "That's ' so , und I did all , the work there , too But , yon sou , you want ? mo to love your children , and I must havQ extra pay for that. " Two Minds : Ono Thought. First Little Hey My pa's a Free \Vill Uaptlst ; what's yours J Second Llttlo lloy-Mino snya ho'saFreo Thlnkor , hut I doubt It. "Why sol" "I know It because ho his to think about ns ma says. Ma's boss in our house. " ( lot ' tirro ilimt tint Snuio. "Yes , a hey you were with ho.Uthy ( lush , The color of the rose , But now tlio colur'u loft your cliook Aijd settled In your noso. " N it Very Killing. FoggWluit was that tlio p irion said i Mrs. Fogg Oh , tnat I hai tlio wlngi of a dove I Fofg Not much nf nn appetlt" , I tuko Ib , If I uan going to wish , It would I bo for th < second joint of a turkoy. No Aloi-e Itiillroad Ai.'uldcntH. American Stationer. First Drummer Another rail road ace ! dent ! IJy the way , I suppose you've notloocl that In railroad accidents It's the last cat which huffers } Second Drummer Yo-oi. First DrummerTlmt could ho easily pro- vented. Second Drummer What would you pro * pose I First Drummer Why , leave the last oaf off. _ Jly Vorn'lot. I wrote n little verselot and I thought iLiiulto unique , It tickled my Interior. I act I Judged it rather plquo. It was published two days InU-r , And again I smiled with priilo , But a friend reduced my hauteur Wlion ho aald , "Lord , ain't ' it snide.11 Not In South Hon Jewelem' Circular , Editor Here , Scribbler , revise this report. Scribbler IIo\v , slrl Kdltor-You say that Miss Porcupine , tha Chicago heiress , won notbl IB but diamonds at tlio opera last nlghtl Scrlnblcr Yes , sir. K'lltorMa ' / be hut put something moro on her , Tlio Tnlnphono of I ovc. l'hlhiiltlhUt ' , Tlina , A pool wrote to his lady love ' 1 hear each word you say. For my C.IM Htrotch out to wheio you arc , Though ton tliuiisnnd uillos uway. "