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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 11, 1891)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE , SUNDAY , JANUARY 11 , 1891-SIXTEEN PAGES-O AX KIHIOll'H LAMEST. Oileayi I loatlio , nblior , detest , despise , Miotninuto ilrlctl-nimlo pics. 'llko Rood bread , I Ilko Rood mcnt , Jr ntiytMng Hint's ( food to cot ; llut of all poor Kruu beneath tbo aides , The poorest 13 ilncil-npplo pics , ( llvo tno the tootlincho orsoro eyes , llut don't ' Klvn TIIO drlod-nnplo pics. Tlio farmer tnkos his ptmrllcst fruit , 'TIs wormy , bitter , imd hard , to boot ; They leave the hulls mid ninito us cough , Ana don't ' t ke hulf the peeling ofl. Then on n dirty cord 'tis atrutii ? , And In a parrot window hiintfj And thcro it scves , a roost for flics , Until It's ' tnndo up In to pics. Trend on inv corns find tell rno lies , Hut don't ' pass me dried apple pics. * THE SPIRIT OF LII10GGX , A SKA MYSTiritY. I. J. D. Jorrold Kelley in New York Ilcrnld ; The nnrratlvoof the Hnlnler'a ' wreck is In ono inyHtorious Incident un paralleled in tlio history of sea mis- ad venture. 1'athotlc us nro the usual talcs of occnn disaster , of peril , Buffer- iiir ( , and heroism , this ono Is signalized by the claimed operation of an occult agency which foretold and , to a slight degree , aided the final rescuer. The vnluo of the evidence depends , of courto , upon the credibility of the wit nesses and their object In uniting upon the same testimony. Ono of those. IB Mr. Humphreys , mate of the ship and an ofllcur of unchallenged reputation ; an other is his wife , the daughter of the Kainior's master , Captain Morrison , and the remainder arc scainon who could gain nothing by agreeing to lie persist ently in a matter which did not afTcct their material interests , and who told their common experience with a frank ness and earnestness no cross-examina tion could tangle. The indirect evidence rests upon the careful oxaininiition inndo at the time nntl place by the officers of an American man-of-war. I have questioned a num ber of those gentlemen , and they agree that the story was confirmed in its essentials by nil the white people found on the island of Ujea , and that the voy- ngo of the captain and his part of the crow , as described by the so-called Spirit of Llbogen , was verified when these ma rines wore subsequently found at Jaliuit. The narrative is plvon largely in the mate's own language. I have made a few changes in its order and have con densed the preliminary story , leaving it unhampered by his descriptions of shipboard life and of the Island and people ple of Ujca. I have no theory to ad vance , not oven the hackneyed ono that here , as often before , thoconncctinelink is left unexplained and coincidences are mistaken for causes. Nor have I any purpose in view save to give a favorite , latter-day service yarn a wider pub licity than it has hitherto onjovcd. II. On the 12th of August , 1883 , the American merchant ship Itnnior , Bath built and of 2,000 , tons burden , took her departure from the Delaware capes , bound for Kobe , in Japan. Thirty-live- days out the line was crossed , and in duo tinip , when the forty-fifth degree of south latitude was reached , she was hauled to the eastward for the long run of 0,000 , miles across the Indian ocean. The average vicissitudes of sea , wind and weather wore supplemented by much sickness and many hardships , though otherwise the voyage did not promise to bo n bad ono. Upon the Mlth day out , about 3 in the afternoon of the 3d of January , an island , supposed to bo Lao , ono of the Marshall group , was raised on the port bow and a few hours later it bore abeam , distant eight miles by cross bonrintrs. As this marked a turning point in the course the captain wont below - low , laid down his position on the chart , and then said to the mate : "Tho course is now northwest and wo nro at least clear of the islands , with nothing to trouble us until the shores of Japan lieavu In Bight. " "Tho night , " writes Mr. Humphreys at this part of his narrative , "had grown dark , ana the moon having sot as eight bolls struck- , there seemed to bo an i in- penetrable darkness , and the bright , twinkling stars had commenced to show thomeolves in the far-olT sky. The watch was mustered and relieved at eight bolls , two men were sent on the top gallant forecastle for lookouts , and the first olllcor took charge of the decks. AH he walked nft hofound the captain on dcclc with u telescope trying to pen etrate the gloomy darkness. Two bolls struck mid tlio ship was staggering along under n heavy press of canvas. The captain and mate stood on the weather quarter eagerly watching the ship as she hurried , when ono said to the other : " 'That white ridge ahead looks like breakers. " "At the same time tlio lookout's cry was heard : " 'Breakers ahcadl Breakers ahead1 ! "It was a terrible cry , and ono that every man in the ship heard , for they camoondcck In an instant. The cap tain gave the order to the wheelman to 'ITanl-a-starboardI' ' The first and third otlleors jumped and let go all the port braces , but it was too latol The ship was in the midst of the breakers , anil with a heavy crash struck on a coral reef. reef."Orders "Orders wore given and executed without dolny and without confusion. Yards were laid aback with the hope the ship might back oil with the assist ance of anchors and hawsers out iislorn , but the heavy seas striking ' nga'liiBt her stora like trip hammers , and the crashing of timbers , gave evi dence only too true that the Itnuilor was a doomed shin ; and to look at the sooth ing mass around , with the seas rolling on board , it presented rather a gloomy nrospoet of any ono being loft to toll the tale. * * "As daylight npproached the scene presented was a dismal ono , As far as the eye could reach In either di ruction could bo Boon a line of breakers , while in the dim distance nfowbiimll knolls of land appeared. As the sur showed itself above the horl/.on ivhlh Bails appeared In the far.distancowhicl on near approach proved to bo canoes swarmed with dusky natives coming down insldo the lagoon , which is more properly called atoll. Coral roofs are called atolls , and are generally round or of an elliptic form and always hare ono or inoro deep entrances. This atoll waa thirty miles long , in the shape of at ellipse , and was about llvo miles or sr across from ono line of surf to the other Insldo was deep water , except now am then when a coral tree would grow u | to the surface and spread out it branches llko a palm leaf. The roe whcro wo lauded was not dry , hut hm onlyn few inches of water at oxtrom < low tide , but at high tide it was over i person's head. AVe were fortunat enough to land at low tide. "Tho canoes were made fast to tin coral , and tlio nntlves'camo to the Insltli eurfiieo line and commenced to shou and gesticulate , which sent a chill o terror to the unfortunate umrlnors cling ng to n. wreck that soon must go to pieces. " Every effort wns mndo to establish communication with the shore , and Inally , by the employment of n line traveling on a hawser , the boats , storca and crow ; voro sent clear of the reef into .ho smooth lagoon. By this time the lay wns nearly spent , and as tlio island , indistinguishable from the ship , was fully ten miles distant , the king dotor- nlncd to make sail for homo. "Aftermany orders and much gestic ulating the largo mat palls wqro hoisted , and each canoe took a boat in tow , the < lng taking the captain's boat. Away , hey Balled with great speed and soon .lie tops of trees could bo seen. Tlieso gradually Increased in size , until the canoes and boats reached the island , which proved to bo throe quarters of a mlle long and a nunrtor of a mlle wide , and was called Ujoa. It wns covered with cocoanut trees to the water's ccgo , presenting on noir approach to thooycs : > [ the anxious shipwrecked people a pot- feet tropical paradise. It did not take long to dispel the Illusion , for men , wo men and children could bo scon running down to the edge of tlio water watching our arrival. "All the Inhabitants of the Island soon gathered to view the white Kanakas , as < hey termed the shipwrecked people , f hey seemed most surprised at seeing a womantho females closely looking at the captain's daughter , feeling her chooits ind long hair , and gazing at the clothes she were , which were of tlio Now York style of a few months previous. Mothers irosonted their children and all the sav- iges seemed toudmlro the palo faced damsels. "When darkness gathered n bonfire was made with , the cocoanut husks , and men were detailed to keep it burning while the remainder retired to rest. Three mattresses and borne blanlcet's mving been saved tlio captain and his daughter were provided with a com- 'ortablo bed. The other was used by the steward , and lie was ono of the sick men and had been in the water all day. Sleep soon cnmo to the weary eyes , but the savages still sat about the fire , some of .horn , Indeed , linjroring until the morn- " III. Several days wcro idled away in re covering from tlio bruises and excite ment of the wreck and in building huts ; butnlmblo fingered as Jackie is at most things , ho was a poor hand at this , and was glnd to trade a shirt or a pair of : nrry trousers for the three hours' labor by which the deft natives could make a shelter of cocoanut branches and , coral niss. In the meantime the captain de termined to seek assistance , and when Lho men were rested ho hauled out the long boat and made her ready for what at the fairest chance would bo a dreary and perilous journoy. A volunteer crow oilored itself , the boat was soon in as good condition ascireuinstancosallowed , and on January 10 , the second mate in charge , she sailed with a fresh breeze down the lagoon and into the Pacific on her quest for help. The captain's instructions wcro to hug the wind and if jiosslblo reach a white man's trading station , which was said by the natives to bo JiOO miles distant. If the wind blow too strong the second mate was to run before It to Oulan island , and if no aid could bo found Lhcro ho was to shape a course for As cension and thence to China , which would then bear west-southwest , distant 3,000 miles. - i The ton days following the longboat's departure wcro bitter , with strong winds and rough seas , and the captain , who was ailing and fretting over the toss of his ship and the discomforts of his daughter and crow , commenced to build a schooner. Chance throw in his wnynbtout timber , but the carpenters' tools were imperfect and the Rainier had broken up to fast that little coulu betaken taken from her. Still so vigorously and skilfully did all hands work that by the rnlddlo of March the boat was sparred , rigged and provisioned , and on the morning of the 17tn all hands mustered early to see the departure of the "Ujea , " as they had called hor. "Having boon speechless for so many weeks , and having no use of his hands , and as his logs were getting numb , " continued the mate , "tlio captain de termined to make a desperate attempt to reach some place where assistance and medicine could bo obtained , for Mrs. Humphreys and many of the men had boon sick for some time. Ho decided to sale for Jaluit ono of the Marshall islands , in the Rnwlio group , HOD miles away , as the king had said , 'White Kanaka belong Jaluit , plenty , plenty , ' From seeing u whisky bottle wo concluded it must bo ono of the many trading stations of the South Sea islands. "Tho king's son and ono of the na tives had consented togointhoschoonor to act as interpreters , should It stop at any of the islands lying in their course. So when the day cnmo farewells wcro said , hands woroclasped and the captain and Will Jackson stopped on board the canoe , followed by Liia Buoho and his servant. The cauoo wns then shoved into deep water , the sail hoisted and proceeding rapidly down the lagoon be fore the wind was soon lost to sight. " "What happened to the longboat and to the schooner the hapless ones learned when later the spirit of Libogon re vealed to thorn their own and their shipmates fates. . IV. Ltfo on Ujea was dreary enough , and privations and heart wearisome broke the whlto men's health and destroyed their belief iu any hope of rescue. Thou , too , the natives began to show signs of hostility , and as there were no longer presents to give , and the strangers were dependent upon the Kanakas for tholr dally cocoanuts and bread fruit , dissatis faction ripened into mibchiof. The next mate , therefore , determined to lit out the two quarter boats and leave the island. These proparationsworowutchod curiously by the king , and finally Hum phreys confessed his intention. The evening Noinn , ono of the king's wives , came to the door of the whlto man's hut witli a message from the chief. "In the native dialect and a little pigeon English which Mrs. Humphreys had taught her , " writes tlio mate , "uho informed mo that Liboiron had come to the Island and wanted to talk with mo , and tlio king had sent for mo to come to his house. Previous to this time the king had often spoken of Libogon , and at ono tlmo had said : ' "White Kanaka belong to Libogon. ' When I asked him what ho meant , ho said : 'So long time , Ligobon speak king ono night. King take canoe , go down reef and find toe big canoe all broke. Plenty whlto Kana kas. Snoso king no good to whlto Kana kas. Ihnnby man-of-war come and bum- bum king. So ho go down roof ono morning and BOO big canoe all broke. Ho get whlto Kanakas. So white Kanakas belong Libogon.1 "So to Llbogen wo must owe the ns- sistaucoof tlio natives In landing through the heavy surf , as no isjand could bo seen from the ship.and what Had brought the natives down the lagoon at that early hour wns hitherto a mystery to us nil. On further inquiry I found that all their movements on any journey by canoe were governed by a spirit called 'Libo gen , ' who had died in the house in whlcl wo lived ( formerly tlio king's palace ) "Whether it wns a woman or child I couli not 11 nd out , but Ltbogon was some human being whom they ull worshipped nnd whoso spirit still came at times to visit the king and his family , nnd thcso were the only ones who coulu converse with the spirit. The body of Llbogen "ind been burled on a small Island twenty nllos down the lagoon , and no person was over allowed to land there except the king and his family. After giving no this Information I asked the king to toll mo when Llbopon came , again as I would llko to talk with her , but not bo ng a believer in spiritualism , I thought no tnoro about it until the king sent for mo. * * * "On our arrival wo found the third ofllcor nnd the seven sailors gathered icar the door , and also many of the Ktm- ikas , listening with sober , long drawn 'aces to the mysterious talking of nn in visible spirit. The king beckoned us to come in , and wo were seated by him In -ho center of the house , surrounded by , ho members of his family , who took but Htlo notice of our arrival , as they wore greatly interested In tlfo spirit's conver sation. "The king continued talking to the plrlt for some tlmo , and the voice could ) e distinctly heard , first In ono part of the house , then quickly changing to the opposite side , now overhead , and again ilong side of mo. With my slight viiowledgo of the language I could < lls- Jnguish some of the words suokon. The voice sounded or spoke in the tone of a hlstlo , and was fully as mysterious as t was wonderful. After a little time the king said : Llbogen would speak to mate. ' So I gave the king to under stand that I wanted to know what had > ecomo of the second mate In the long > oat , and of the schooner In which the laptaln had sailed away with thirteen of ho crow and If wo were overgoing to bo cscucd from this lonely island. "Tho king asked my questions ariu the spirit told him that thobceoml mate had ) con picked up near an island called ? ornlpotto , and that Captain Morrison iad arrived in the-schooner at Jaluit , ) utho was sicked and could not come ; that all the schooners wore away but the captain was all right , and in one week a schooner would come to the Island ; but ho captain would send u schooner as icon as one could bo got , but in two vceks a big schooner would come , and wo would all bo rescued. ' 'Libogon said the steward who had died was buried on Ujea , but that his spirit was with her. "Tho conversation lasted some , ime , and when finished I vns told to say 'Good night , " ibopon , ' which I didnnd was answered jy 'good night , mate , ' in as plain Kng- ish as I could speak mysolf. Mrs. Humphrey was asked to do the same , and was plainly answered , good night , 2mma. ' 'Such wonderful information was inoro than my brain could conceive to jo true , and the days of the following week seemed a lifetime. Slowly they .Missed , until Saturday night came , and o all anxiously waited the morrow iVith wavering faith. During the oven- ng the king drifted clown to the house , is was his custom every evening , to got v few whilTri of my pipe of oakum , as our .obacco had given out many weeks be- 'ore , and a smoke of oakum or dried eaves was a luxury. True I had a little which had beoa wet with salt water and Iricd , but this I was saving to give the { ing to smoke in payment for some jrcad fruits or coconuts when wo were hungry. "Tlio king seated himself on the floor , : ind I rclilleil the pipe with oakum and javo it to him. After smoking a few : noinentsho said : j "Libogon speak , tomorrow schooner come. ' To this I replied , 'Llbogen too much lie. No speak truo. " "No , no , nol" said the king , "tomor row come , sun finish and schooner come. Libogon no lie , always speak true. " "It must bo remembered that all : cinds of craft seemed a schooner to the lativos , since having scon our schooner juilt and sailed away. No doubt It was ; ho largest vessel many of them hud over soon. " * * * * * "Sunday morning carao at last , and saw ten watchers eager for some sign of Lloliveranco from their island prison. Tlio hours dragged slowly and the sun was Hearing the western horizon. Anxious eyes had grown dim with watching , when a shout was heard from ono man to another the whole length of the island. Tlio king who was standing near me , shouted , 'schooner cornel Lib- ogenno Hot' "Tho morning dawned , and with it drizzling rain , and hot , sultry weather , and the prospect seemed a gloomy ono oven though'assistanco might bo ncnrns a fog surrounded the island , so thich that oven the reef could not bo seen , though only a short uistanco away. "No cocoanuts hnd been brought to us the previous day , and so wo had nothing to eat , since the natives , like ourselves , remained under cover out of the rain , and the trees were so high it was impos sible for us to climb thorn to get any nuts. Towards o'clock the fog lifted a little , and I was seated at the door talk ing to the third olllcorlooking out on the dreamy waste of water , when boom I the sound of a big gun came across the water and in a short time the island was astir. "I had previously given each man a station so that n system of communica tion could bo had from all points on the island , I immediately sent out the men , with orders to report anything that might bo seen , as the gun must have been from a ship in distress , or else as sistance was near. Hardly had the mo started , when another boom came rolln Ing along and appnrentlynot far distant- and boon after the Fhput came from one man to another until it reached our lit tle hut that glad , welcome shout which pnt falls to describe 'Sail hoi Sail ho ! ' With the hail came two of the men , who reported u largo vessel olT the southw ee end of the island under fore and aft sail an dappnrontly passing by. There was not imo to lose if such were the fact , and the natives who were fast gathering helped us launch tlio boat , and In a short time four men were pulling mo rapidly down the lugoon. "Wo were obliged to pull for some dis tance down the reef before a safe cross ing could bo found , as the surf ran so high and washed with such force against the coral reef. As soon as a , safe place could bo soon the boat was headed for the reef nnd all hands jumped into the water and pulled the boat over the reef , ready to launch her through the surf as soon as a chance wns otfored. With a loud hurrah the boat was shoved into the surf , we jumped in , and quickly grasping the oars , with a few bold strokes the boat was clear of the break' ors and wo were pulling for a largo vessel sol which came to view around the point some three miles away. "Soon wo could discern that the vessel was under steam , nnd all sail had boon taken in. The stare and stripes were floating at the peak , and on near approach preach the first fnco I could distinguish among the many crowding her rails wns that of our old second mate , W. II. Dhrono , whom wo had lone slnco mourned for dead , but through whoso bravo endeavors , under painful clrounv stances , wo were rescued from our island prison. "Hardly hnd the boat reached thosldo of the unknown ship when the com mander shouted from the bridge : " 'Is Mrs. Humphreys alive and well ? " 'Yes , ' wns the answer , 'but the cap tain has sailed away iu a echoonorwhich wo built a month ngo , and no news from him as you Ono inau , the etowurd , wo mvo burled , nnd there are ton of us now on the islaml. ' ' 'Come nlongsule,5 wns the reply , and ns wo glided laloiicsldo n rope waa thrown. Wo made-Ms ( fast to the boat , ind grasping n ladder which had boon lungovor tlio side. I leaped from the bobbing craft and. quickly reached the deck , whore I was warmly greeted by Commander McCormlck , who grasped my linnd and said' ' " 'Welcome on board of the American nan-of-war Esse.v , sent by tlio United states government to rescue the crow of the wrecked Am'uricim uhlp Ualnler. ' " "Tho island was ' aroused , and the ihoutlng and yelling were Indescribable , ho natives running this way and that in confusion. Quickly grasping my glass I started for the othof end of the Island oil which the sail had been seen , and with long strides , followed bv the rest of the crow , soon reached a point where a sail could bo dimly scon bearing down on us. "With my glasses I could distinguish a curiously built erait with a largo three cornered sail , and on near approach could sco the many naked > snvngos with which the vessel swarmed , 1 made up ny mind Immediately that our dellvor- uico might bo from life , but not from bondage , and dutot mined to return to ny hut and arm the crow with the rllles which wo had and to hold out for our ives as long as possible. But my fears were quickly allayed by the king , who said : 'Never mind , Kanakas no hurt natc. ' So 1 returned to my house to in form the anxious ISIrs. Humphreys that our deliverance had not yet come. "The Ilrst oart of the spirit's proph ecy had proved true , and tlio following Sunday was the day sot by Libogon for the second mate to coino in a schooner ind rubcuo us. The week dragged slowly , and the weather , which had boon ! lno and pleasant with a strong bree/.e , ; iu\v became hot and disagreeable , and , it being the change of tlio monsoons , the [ aln came down in torrents. The mos- juitocs crowded In swarms , seemingly junt on eating us up. Having no shoes wo were obliged to hang our feet out of , ho door to keep the mosquitoes olT , and then to fan tlio rest of our person to bo iblo tolivo in ponce. Our misery was nearly complete , and if deliverance came not on the morrow hope was akin to despair. "During the morning Mrs. Humph reys was patching n morning gown with : i piece of bed ticking , the gown resem bling Joseph's coat of many colors , while , lie third otllcer and myself were enjoy- ng the luxury of a smoke of tea , prog nosticating what the morrow might bring fortli , when suddenly Mrs. Humph reys started up exclaiming : ' 1 hear n .51111. ' In a few moments a native came running up to the hut saying : 'Schooner come , and bum , bum'but hearing no moru sounds wo concluded it was all im agination and lay down to sleep. V. Tbo stories of the longboat and of the schooner are interesting enough to deserve - servo a place for themselves. But/ space forbids and it may bo added as the tag to the drama. Hut the second mate's boat was picked up cloven days out , and lifter its crow had suffered greatly , by Lho British bark Catalina , Captain \Vil- .iains . , bound from Australia to Saigon , Cochin China. Tlio rescue was miutoas Libogon had revealed , near nil island called Porporotto , of which they had never before heard. Upon their arrival nt Saigon they were sent to Ilong Kong ind , as a result of their report , the United States steamer Kssox , then pro tecting American interests at Slmnicen. was ordered to Ujco. With the cus tomary diligence and efficiency of this ship on that famous cruise , she sailed Immediately after coaling at Nagasaki. On the lith ! of April'tho Eisox arrived oft" Ujcn and firedtho , signal gun heard by Mrs. Humphreys. The next day , Sunday , just two weeks from the date of Libogcn's promise , the mist lifted and the gladdened watchers hoard the guns and saw the Hag of home and of rescue. And ns predicted the second mate was on board. Thej'o is no time to tell the wander ings of the captain's schooner , but Mr. Humphrey in concluding this part of.his narrative , says : "I leave the reader to jndgo if the snirit of the departed Libogcu had spoken truly or not. i am no spiritualist but the wlth'n ' facts are true ones , and I must believe what I have fccon , for all that the spirit told came truo. What the spirit told in re- irnrd to the captain's being sick and un- nbl 3 to come to our assistance wo found to be true on our arrival at Jaluit , and that a schooner had been sent to our assistance manned bya crew of natives. " All this relating to the captain's schooner was told on board the Essex before she sailed for Jaluit , and all the alleged circumstances were found to bo true when she arrived there. These are the fuels in the case , and this is a queer yarn , is it not ? Tlio Western ' /error Tcrrorlz d. jVcio York llcnitil. By the Little 111 ; ; Horn river ho had slnm the callnnt Sioux , And besldo the Ntobr.ira put to flight tlio Yniilttons , too ; Whcro the heaving Hlo Orando rolls bosldo the Mexican hills , With the blood of countless Greasers he'd eiibari'Uinel ( : nil the rills ; Ana they culled him "Oravoyard Johnnie , " nnd the notches on his trun Each bropoko a man ho'd slaughters ! ! hut , alusl his rnco Is'run 1 For ho weakly wed a widow from Chicago's grassy vale And it wasn't ' aficcn minutes ere she imulo this terror quail. A Chniu'c Tor iMiiniifnoturcrH. Trinidad , Colo. , offers ( 'rcator Inducements to manufacturers than nny other town in iho west. Coal nt Si ) cents per ton , coke at $ ! . ' . ! . ; , and raw material at u nominal cost. For full Information address Trinidiul Land & Im provement Co. , Trinidad , Colo. Orlvlni ; n Slinrp Clothier and Furnisher : Customer How much for a dozen shirts ? Clerk $110. Customer How much for three ? Clerk " \Ve shall have to charge yon $ | 2 for three , sir. Customer Then you chnrgo mo moro in proportion for the first three than you do for a do/on ? ' Clerk Yes. sir. Customer Make Tna up the last threo. Upon a fair trial rl find Salvation Oil the best euro for rheumatism I have uvtr known. It ( jlvca relief moru quickly nnd always does Its work. Joshua Zimmerman , Wothcrca- vlllo , ftld. Chronic couriers * nro bores to the com munity and should bo forced to use lr. ) Hull's Cough Syrup. How r.'illllps ' IlroolcH Rworo. Oliver "Wendell 'Holmes went fishing ono day says the New York Truth , and while ho was patldntly sitting dangling the line and hooK , temptingly baited , over the side of the'boat , and talking to the old salt , who was spinning him many a yarn , was surprised when the man said to him in the most earnest way , that "Phillips Urooks swears. " "Yes , sir , " ho continued. "I had him out in this very bout last week , and ho caught a whopping big follow with that small line there. Just ns ho nearly got it in the boat it brolco off. I waa awful excited , and I said to him : " 'You were d d near catching the biggest lisa of the season. ' "Airl ho said sort of sorrowful to mo : 114YOB , Joe , tlmt'eso. " "When I come to think who he was , I toll yer I was surprised at his swearing , too/ ' BITS OF WIT AND WISDOM , Some Important Truths and Valuable In formation in Pleasant Doses , PRESERVING THE BALLET'S ' PURITY , Tlio Dnr After Clirlstmns-OurlnB tlio Iltin A Ilnoliclor's 1'rnotlonl View Uy n Tyiiocrnplilcnt Error I'ujilcr Mnclic , Now York Weekly : Minister's wlfo looking up from the puiior ) "The ideal A minister in "Michigan has brought n bill of $500 ntruiiist nn cstnto for nrcnching the funeral pennon of wealthy citlzon thoro. "What In the world did ho make such a elmryo ' lor ? " Good minister ( wearily ) "I r it was to satbfy his conscience. " Hoclt'ty.lllrdH. Drake's Mrifrazlno : L.urkin "Mar tens are the most btylish of birds. " Gazzum "How so ? " "Thoy wear swallow-tails. " Tlio IB3After. . - lluffalo KjrjifCff. Ills many frlcnils remembered him \Vttli presents small mid great. The Christmas cards nntl holly sprigs lie can't cntitnenito. Hut still he's reeling pretty blue , ilo's .spent all ho could earn , * Tor every ten-cent favor coat Five dollars to return , All in U in II.VO. Pharmaceutical Em : Customer Got some pills for sere eyes ? Clerk Yes ; thcso are said to bo excel lent for Fore cyos. Customer How do I tnko 'cm ? Clerk Two every four hours. Customer ( returning from the front of the store after ton minutes or so , hold ing a reel band ana to a watering eye ) Soohoro ! The doctor that thinks a fel low can keep two of them pills in his eye for four hours must bo crazy ; why don't ' ho make the pesky things BO they'll molt when you put 'om ' In ? A Mcro nary Itnuliclor. Itarpcn' Ilnxmr. The maid was more than fair , The maid wns more tlian sweet Sho'il wealth of soft ami poltlon hair , A sinllo that was discreet. Her snulo wns all for moA - A bachelor most odd .And i to any am very free I loved the ground she trotl , And yet the match was balltod , Decuuso , Rood sir , or dome , The ground 'pon which this maiden walked Stood la some other's iiaiiio. ICniiilutloti. Chicapo Tribune : "Wo will now,1' said the preacher , "take un our usual Christmas collection for the ' poor. I wish to remind the congregation that I Inn rolinhly informed that the gamblers of this town have boasted they will outdo tlio churches moro than two to one in charity this year. At the gambling house in the block below the sum o ! 5250 was raised yesterday. " Tlio organist struck up a hymn , and whou the collectors came back with the baskets after making the rounds of the pows it was ( ouncl that the indignant board of trade men in the audlonco had contributed enough to bring Iho collec tion up to $500. A Typographical jError. St. Joseph News : ' 'Look hero young man , " said the lately resigned conduc tor to the railroad editor. "I've always treated you white , haven't IV" "You have. " "And when I resigned the other day didn't I tell you I'd worked for the com- mny twenty years ? " "Iboliovo so. " "And yet this is the kind of a send-off , 'ou give mo. " And ho laid the last Issue > f the paper on the table and pointed to the notice of his retirement , which stated that he "had the company for wonty years. " Chicago Trilmno : They were eland- ng In front of a furniture 'ind house- ittlntr establishment on State street , .coking at the display in the window. "Stay out hero a minute , Nuneo , " ho said , "while I run in and ask 'oin some thing. " "Gosh ( ill pancakes ! " ho oxclnltncdl "Uec'loct them ton cords o' hlck'ry I've pot on the ridge bunk o'tho eow pastur ? They'revuth inoro'n a thousand dollars. Look at the stick o' wood in that thur lire fireplace , will you ? They pay a dol- lar'n a half ivpleoo fur 'em , by guml Man told mo so himself ! Como on , Nance1 ! And ho gruppod her by the arm. "Cap , " ' said nollcomnn "wher's lie , halting it , the nearest oyster s'loonV" Oharlio'H Court I MR. ilariiM. llariir.s tn Centura. YounK ChurlloO'N'oll cninoto inooModay. Anil bashfully speaking ho said : "You nro older and wlsur tliiiu many I know , Anil by yminiilvleu I'll lie led. Now toll mo how cun I tlio ( [ uostlon propose Tohunioprutty nmldpii I know ? I'm uiixlous to iniirry , bu tcan not , teonuso 'I'ho asking It piuzles niu M ) . " I told him my thoughts , and urscil him to try Tlio plemliiiKiifavorso s fet , "Korllfo without love Is a lli'Ul that Isharo ; \Vlth love Ilkou Hulil fall of wheat. " Wlionnoxtl aawUhurllu. hiiluipiiylia RCCIIICU , I nsUud him If love imisiK'rod bo. Ho IniiKldiiKly unsweioil , "Tlio pleading's so Z'vtathnltveriittlrl that I know. " No Corivciiiuauo * . Detroit Free Press : A lone woman who was passim * down JotTorson avenue to the Third street depot the other tiny suddenly observed n great big silver dollar lar lying on the sidownllc. She made a Btoon foa It , but it ran oil Into a hallway , imicn to her surprise and consternation , She was looking aflor itvhon \ a boy ap peared , dolTod his hat , nnd said : " 'tseuso ' mo , ma'am , but it WIIB another dull'or I wns Itiyin' for. " "Yon you had n string to it ? " she queried. "Ycs'm. " "And you fool people that wayr1 "Somo'times , ma'am. " "Well , young man , all I can say Is that if I had n bootjack nnd a plnco to sit down , I'd pull a string on you which you wouldn't forgot If you lived to bo as old iisMolhuBclumV" IntcrcKiliiK liiliirmalion. Smith , Grayfc Go's. I Ionthly : "That's an nwfid price this now company has to pay the government for every seal they kill in Alaska , " said Mr. Wlgglor. "Ton dollars ; just think of it ! " "Ton dollars for every one ? " asked Mm Wigglor. "Kvory blnglo ono , The old company never paid but three. " "IstnataW" "Yes ; It's a shaino , too , the wny the animals have boon thinned out up there by the traders and poachers , and I don't know what all , " "I suppose so. " "Man up there from the Smithsonian institution a little while ago nays there ain't ono now whore there were twenty a dozen years ago. " "Tho ideal" "Soalsaro seals now. " "Well. " "Well , I thought I'd kind of toll you about it , so you'd understand how I cnmo to buy this beautiful silver glove-but toner for Christinas , Instead o ( the bcul skia sack you epoko about. " /low / plain to fW mind are the scenes of J\smy \ recollection recalls ftemio viev/j / \ Tlje so&p-keifle hungf on jfje poles of loseday6ofooAPAfici ? , corjsequeql arjguisty ave lor/cf / since departed , we pray and we jjopg ; m fl \ \ i f' U7 lap \7e ! ) use of flje stuff ' n to SSSA A WAte ] ar7dl ? lAnui5h As W s 50011 as fyey offered * , . , . , - * * * nc .f _ _ " * * * Ly g yf g 1 UU N.KfAIRBANK & Co. CH . . , ICAGO , READ THIS. * * v ? Godsend to Those Compelled to I'Vear Artificial Teeth , Flexible Elastic Dental Plate THIN , TOUGH AND LASTING. Tlio following objections tonn arllflflal dcntiiro ohvlntcd by usliis this iilivto : Tlio fooling thtit your inmitli Is too full. That burning bunsatlnn nsnillly nccoinpanylii ) ; u rubber plain. Tlio liiipL'dlincnt to speech and sliiRhiR. Tlio linporfoct iiilnptutliin to tlio month , and many other objections too numerous to iiu'iitlon. The only plucotu gutthls jihitu la from DR. BAILEY'S , Offices Third Floor of Paxton Block. Omaha , Neb. Take elevator nt IGtli Street entrance. Telephone 1080. HIMEBMHMRYLOR DUDRY COo 1CD 1 > { cr Skates , Boys' Chests of Tools , Fine Pocket Cut lery , Scissors and Scissor Cases , Carving Sets , Rog ers' Triple Plated Knives and Forks , Tea , Table and CD Dessert Spoons. CDp GO IOEX SEASON 189O-91 ElXOLiUSIVm AGENTS FOR WOOD' Celebrated Ice Tools. We have n full line now on hand comprising : J PlowsChisels , Hooks , Markers , Bars , Run Iron , Snow Scrapers.Etc.Rope of all Kinds. WRITS for CATALOGUE and PRICES James. Morton & Son. 1511 Dodge StreetOmaha , Neb. NEW YORK DEJMTIL PARLORS N. E. Cor. 14th and Farnam Sts. DR. F. L. BROWMEX. $4.00 Wn will timlto yon .isot of toolli. uslns ; tlio licst rubber , nnd OUAKANTI.B a fit , for ? ,03. I'AIIS'liKSH KXTIIACTION- our inollioil. tenth nru Kxtruutoil Absolutely Without I'uin Hold. Sllvur nnd llono Illlln sfrown mill HrlduoWorn. Our ilotto-Tho III'JST Uuntal work , at J.OWKbT living prices. NO OUR.EJ NO PAY. 1316 Douglas Street , Omaha , Neb. Fevenlpon jcurs eiporlonco. A tcifnlnrcriulinto In mcrtlclno , nicllplomn nliow , la still tronttm wltu HiGurrnteit nnm'sn. ull Nrrvom , C'lirnnlfl nml 1'rlvnK ) I > Uoi oi. A ponimnunt euro itnnninUiKit fur Ciitrvrrli , Pncrmiitorrhfivi , l-ont Mnnhonil , ScmlnnlVi'Uknu i , Nlulitlxiino * , lin | > t < m ) r. Syphilis , Strlctur ) . nnd allclli- eiW of Hit ) llluwl , Skill lUKlUrln-iryOwuu. N.ll. 1 Kiinrnntou 1'iOU tnruvurjr caio I unilortnku nml fall to euro. ConiulUtluu free , llogk ( .Mjiloriuiof L.lfo ) nuiitfrou. Olllculiuunj-'Ja. m , tot p , iu. Suiul.iyi IU . . . a. iu. to IV iu. DEWEY & STONE FURNITURE COMPANY A inuRniflcont displny of ovorythiiiR useful mid ornnmontal in the furuitura mnkor's art , tit roasoimblo prices. OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS - - Street. Stovo" repairs of ull dcserliitlniit for cook nml Juiutliu slovos , family unil hotul rauxu-i. Water ittiieliineiita u specialty. ROBERT u HUG , Proprietor C. M. EATON , Manager. T ? , DIAMOND BRAND * r \\ius . THE ORIGINAL ANDOCNUINr. Tk. anil , . H.fr . , Cure. M rrUatb Mil ht\\ \ , . I.iilca . Mk l > ruUt . fur tTtlcknltrl . JtofUilhJIM.H.J J/ratiJ la Kril an ! &VM loeullle Ixiie. M . l l wUh llu. rltUio. , Title . nuollirr Llntl. Ar/uj Xulttttutiont arutm < f jffoni . . < . illiUl.h | > uuiioi > t i > i | > luk m.urri.tn dangcrou. - . . , . | .ln mii fur . - . . , " i-iunlrrfrlt . . , . , * . it . lt . iil/L. or > rM .1 . | , , , pirlleoltri.u-.Uwi.Uli . . . , , in * "Uilltf fgr l.u.ll " Ul.ll.r. ll ll ! 10.0 ( ) ( > T * /tain CHICHCITCR CHEMICAL CO. , M.dllnn kvIU lii ull Lutul UruffKUUi rjIlutfUKU'llLi. i'ST * 17 1 13t 1 53I I 1 IU If ) t SI 7 JW 311 10 31) ) ttt. 6.