8 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : nriUDAy. DECEMBER 20 , 1890.
GLIMPSES OF EVKRY-DAY LIFE ,
t
Wit , Wisdom nnd Antcdoto Picked Up by
Industrious Ecribea ,
DID YOU EVER GET DRUNK ON COFFEE ?
AVhntSitrnli Hnltl to Mnry IVo Didn't
Understand Ulni Millionaires
Who Hot-row Cnr Fare
Color ol Clunrn.
"I don't know what's the mnttor wllli
mo , " said onu innn to another In n , North
Side Blrcot car the ether dixy , nccordlnjr
to tlio Chlcnpo Tribune. "About half
an hour niter I cat my breakfast I fool
BO queer In my stomach. My appetite's
good nnd I'm nil right for about half nn
hour , and then I hardly dnro cough. "
"Il-m , " mused the othor. "Do you
tnko your coffco pretty strong ? "
"Sure. That's the only way it's fit to
drink. I taught my wlfo how Jo make
coffee , and It can bear up an d'g | when
it cornea on the table. No weak colTeo
In mine. "
"I'll toll you what's the matter. You'ro
Just getting over n colTco drunk. You
know how you fool when the liquor IH
dying In you. AVell , there you are. "
"Pslmw ! A man can't got drunk on
coffee. "
"Ol can't lie ? Well , I'yo been as
drunk ns a lord on it. Ono night anoth
er follow and I hud n , lot of writing to do ,
nnd it took nil the wits wo had about us
to do it too , nnd wo had to sit up Into ,
and to keep us nwako wo brewed a pot
of coffco and made it as strong as aqua
fortis , and may bo stronger , I don't
know. My land 1 how the ideas came.
In droves. No hunting for words.
1'lioy all came in and gave them
selves up. I noticed I was getting
pretty gobsy and wo laughed a good
deal. I'd been swilling away , drank
maybe tlireo or four cups , when I got up
to got a match for my cigarette and T.
found I couldn't walk straight. My
head wag as sober as a judge , but my
legs were drunker than a fiddler. And
then I began to notlco myself and I
found that my huiids and foot felt about
as big as a hickory nut. And then I
discovered that unless I hung on to my
chair I'd hit the colling. J was just
ready to float. I lot the coffee nlorio
nftor Unit and in about ton or fifteen
minutes I was all right again. But , O ,
my stomach ! It felt as if I hud bcon
polng to church fcocinbles and feeding ou
Ice cream and cnko for a year. "
AVIint i'nriili Said to fllnry.
It was on a Madison avenue car at 0
o'clock. Among those who had scats
wore eight men. Among thosostanding
up wore- two shop glrs , bays the Now
York Sun. After waiting for a reason
able time for borne to oiler them seats
one of the girls bald :
"Mary , it's too bad Isn't it ? "
"What , Sarah ? " asked the other.
"That they arc all bow-legcod. "
"Who ? "
"These eight gentlemen. I have pat-
ronl'/cil this line for live years nnd I
never saw a km-leggcd man give himself
away by standing up in a car. It wouldn't
bo reasonable to expect it. "
"Of course not. "
In just live seconds eight men wore on
tholr feet , bowing and smiling and ask
ing Sarah and Mary if they wouldn't ' bo
BO everlastingly kind and obliging as to
take seats take half the car , in fact , and
they took it.
AVe Didn't UmlcrHtnm ! Him.
When I got to the depot half an hour
ahead of time , or whnn I am compelled
to wait nn hour or two at boino junction ,
I like to be Mieinl with my fellow victims ,
Bays a writer In the Now York Sun.
Ilnng the man who makes a churl of
himself under any circumstances , parlic-
ulnry when ho travels.
Eight or ten of us had bcon thrown off
at a railroad junction in Indi
ana to wait for two hours , nnd
it wasn't ten minutes before wo
were all talking , visiting , smoking and
yarning. All but ono. I am , of course ,
Bpcaking of the men. The Indies hold
the sitting room , while wo took the plat
form. This ono was a imddlo-aged man ,
who took his vnllso and sat down at the
far end of the platform , as If to got as
far from us as ho could. Everybody no
ticed his action and ho was put down as
a sour-minded chap who could have
added nothing to our comfort. Wo sim
ply did by him as ho did by us lot him
severely alone.
About ten minutes before train tlmo I
noticed thattha man was asleep. I imulo
bold to approach him and call out , but
ho did not move. Going closer , the pe
culiar pallor of his face alarmed me , and
in another mmuto I discovered that ho
was dead. lie had passed away while
ho slept. When , we came to lift him up
what do you suppose wo found ? IIo had
bcon writing In a note book with a pen
cil , and the last Hues ho had written
were :
"A stranger In a strange land and sick
unto death , and yet no ono has a word
of sympathy no ono will oven come near
me. May God forgive them for being
BO btony-hourled. I hope that by to
morrow "
But tomorrow never cameto him , It
came to nil the rest of us , but , come as
often as It may , none of us will over fool
just right toward ourselves. Wo had
misjudged him.
millionaires \Vlio Borrow Car Fnro.
"Really , sir , I haven't ' 5 cents about
mo. Most unusual thing. Why why ,
conductor , I could"
"Can't help it , sir ; rules are rules. If
you can't scrape up a nickel you'll ' hnvo
to got off , " interrupted thoconductor , as
) io soixod the boll cord and looked
sharply at the elderly passenger ,
In moving toward the vofil' platform
the old goiuloinon came face to face with
Maurice Sullivan , the successful lumber
man of Mlnncbotn , who was stopping at
the St. James , says the Now York Morn
ing Journal.
"How are you , Elijah Curtis ? " ox-
clnlmed the lumberman , grasping the
elderly gentleman by the hand.
"First rate , llrst rate ; but before Italic
about my health I must have 5 cents.
Haven't car faro. "
"Fivocontsl What ? You want 5 cents ?
You , a man whoso paper would bo hon
ored anywhere for n mllllonl What's
the mnttor spent all your money for
peanuts ? Hn-hal"
The wonlthv westerner thrust his
big thumb and forefinger into his waist
coat pocket nnd drew out a roll of yel
low nnd green backs , and to carry oul
Iho bit of pleasantry placed the money
$600 nt lenst In Mr. CurtU' hand
A ono-doUur bill from Itibldo 'ho ' roll
feorved to straighten matters with the
conductor , ami after Uj0 inugh had -gone
round the roll YV XU returned to Sullivan.
TiiO inrui Vho ? was "broke" was a re
tired merchant who lives in Forty-
eighth street nnd who sold a block of
Broadway property less than five years
igo for $1,200,600.
The man rich or poor probably
> ever lived who through accident ,
ihoughtlessncss or mistake has not
found himself nt ono tlmo or another
away from homo nnd without a penny.
The Colors oT
Ono of tlio must interesting things tome
mo , being nn ox-member of the trade , in
to study the simple llttlo brands on the
ends of the cigar boxes In the tobacco
nists' stores ntul wonder liow many of
the people who use the contents know
the moaning of the words "clnro , " etc. ,
says the Chicago Journnl. Nowadays n
Binokor calls for alight , medium or dark-
colored cigar us his fancy dictates. To
the dealer , however , thcro is n
nicer nnd moro oxnct method of
naming the Bluido. "Clnro , " for hi-
Btnnco , sturds for the lighte&t shndo of
nil nnd Is mostly found In the cheaper
grade of two-fers. About the palest in
color of the ordinary cigar iH the "Col
orado. " Then comes "Colorado Mad-
tiro. " next "Mnduro , " nnd ln tlv "Oscu-
ro , " which is the darkest , heaviest
cigar made. The "Colorado Mnduro"
nnd "Maduro" shades are the most
sought for in the best grades of domestic
cigars , wlillo coiiriumord of imported
brands run to "Mtuluio" and "Oscuro. "
It seems dllllcult to got a really
good imported cigar that is not
dark colored. All of them nro
btrong , nnd while many men alTcct the
darkest , high priced kinds , I bcllovo
that but few of tlioni really enjoy them.
As good a cigar ni tiny man need smoke
can now bo bought for 10 and 15 cents.
A few experts may llml vnluo nnd solace t
in a tin foil covered io ! cent weed , but
when anything' over n quarter Is paid it
is money thrown away for ornaments ,
lilo ; tin foil , band , fancy linings to box ,
otc. At uro&ont prices of tobacco and
labor n manufacturer can't put ti value
of TiO contn in ono cigar unless ho folds
in 2-3 cents worth of postage stamps.
And yet many people Binoko these ex
pensive sorts.
Courtships average tlireo tons of coal
cadi , nnd scoics of bud coughs and colds ;
but then every prudent gallant Is provided
With n bottle ot Dr. Bull's cough syrup ,
which costs only U5 cents.
All our city fathers say : Use Salvation
oil , the Rrcntest euro on earth for pain. "
Price , 25 cenU.
Wanted.
Renewals and subscriptions for the
Ladies' Homo Journal that I may win
the four years' course at Vasbiir. This I
'
can do if'Ncbrnskn ladies intending to
renew or subscribe will send their re
newals or subscriptions to mo as BOOH as
possible. 81 per year. Every ono counts
and your kinuncbs will bo greatly appre
ciated by Elizabeth C. Morrell , 101-1
Fnrnam street , Omaha , Neb.
TUtUI ) TO MAK.I3 A. MINIS 1'KIl.
How an Ex-Convict Secured $2lOOO
irotn n Massachusetts Lmily.
Mrs. Matthias Mills , a wealthy widow
living in Nccdham and nn ardent Metho
dist , has just attempted to make a cler
gyman out of an ox-convict , and the re
sult is that she is $ ! 21,000 out of pocket ,
saya ) Boston special to the Chicago
Tribune. Marshall P. Gillon is the
name of the young aspirant for chinch
honors and his present abode is known
only to himself.
Mrs. Mills and Gillon's mother were
old ft-i'-Ml * , nnd when young Gillon be
gan to now decidedly wicked proclivi
ties the wealthy widow took a decided
interest in his welfare. Her early ef
forts failed , however , and Gillon
ffir his various mibdecds was sen
tenced to five years to the Massa
chusetts state prlbon. While there ho
remembered that Mrs. Mills had often
expressed a desire that ho should become -
come converted and outer the Methodist
ministry. The idea struck Gillon as a
brilliant ono and so ho wrote at once to
Mrs. Mills , intimating that if ho had the
money on his release ho should prepare
himself for the ministry.
Checks in varying sums to the amount
of $1,200 woro' sent to him on his re
lease. However , business promised
greater inducements limn the pulpit ,
and ho informed his benefactress that if
ho had another $1,000 ho could form
a railroad syndicate and make
his fortune. The money was
forthcoming. IIo proceeded , however -
over , to paint Now York red with
this cash , though ho wrote Mrs. Mills
frequent letters glowing with religious
fervor. The syndicate required moro
money than ho anticipated , and so ho
kept drawing on the widow. Finally ho
sent her a note to this effect :
My Dearest and Best Friend : It is
sometimes difficult for mo to realize on
your remittances as soon ns 1 might
wish. Don't you think it would bo a
good Idea for mo to make out the checks
for money in your name when the concern -
corn needs money , so that I will not bo
subjected to unnecessary and oftentimes
disastrous delay ? Of course you know
mo well enough by this time to know
that I can bo trusted. Risking ;
the danger of your displeasure which
would prove a great blow to mo I have
signed a paper with your name for $300
and you will probably hear from it very
soon after getting this note. I find that
I nm still unflinching' in the faith I pos
sess of God and the great good his love
has done for mo. IIow could I over hnvo
wandered in the dark nnd devious ways
of sin is moro than I can understand.
These chocks came thick and fast dur
ing the last year , and nearly $ U1,000 had
been obtained before a halt was called.
The attention of the police was called
to the fac' by some ono who suspected
that all was not right.
An investigation was begun , nnd It
wns found that Gillon has been travel
ing about the country in great style on
this monoy. IIo has had a handsome
house elegantly furnished at Framingham -
ham , has kept numerous servants and
driven out in elaborate shape. IIo got
wind of the olllcers , however , nnd has
loft for unknown parts.
Dr.Birnoy. nosonnd throat. Bcebldg
Curias Temporary Deafness.
Deafness may sometimes bo caused by
nn excess of ear wax , which has become
hardened and obstructs the action of the
membrane. Either have n careful hand
apply warm water through a proper
syringe , or a piece of cotton wadding
wet with essence of peppermint may bo
introduced , which will dissolve and absorb
serb the hardened wax In a few hours.
C od In Million * of Homo *
40 year * the Stand * ! * .
JJi
Our Great Holiday Sale of Furnishing Goods nearly double that of any previous season in our business career *
lias left us with a great many broken lines , Some lines are broken in sizes , some things we have only a few of at eacn
price , some other'things may be all sold but one color and again some lines arc all sold * but the higher priced goods ,
None of these lines will be filled in , ancHn order to close them all out "this year" , we have made special prices on them alir.i
From Now Ti New
We ; shall put | in our 25 cent line a pile | of 35 cent lit ; : } . We shall add n lot of 50 cent ties to our 35 cenf
line and add lots of 65 cent and 75 cent ties to our 50 cent line. We shall take out all the fine goods left " in the
windows and put them on sale at REDUCED PRICES , and will sell a lot of dark Four-in-Mands at a quarter.
65 dozen fancy bordered Handkerchiefs at 5 cents each. 46 dozen fancy bordered Hand-
verchiefs at 10 cents cach. 46 dozen fancy bordered Handkerchiefs at 15 cents each. 37 dozen
nire China Silk Hankerchiefs in white , at 25 cents each. 39 dozen beautifully embroidered
Zhina Silk Handkerchiefs , with woven borders , at 60 cents.
COLLARS If there's a lady in Omaha who wants to "collar" her husband and "cuff" him into the bargain , we'll furnish the bar *
gain. 200 dozen pure linen collars , standing or turn down , 50 each. 2op dozen pure linen collars , five styles , at IOG each.
i"nrl CTI H'h'S ' ' 500 dozen best alMincn collars , 8 styles , at iscjpach , or a quarter for two. 100 dozen linen cuffs at soc pair , we'd ought to
charge 2oc. 100 dozen very best pure linen cuffs at loc. They're most always.400 a pair.
A quarter buys two pairs men's or boys' all wool socks. 150 buys far.t black or fast colored '
'ancy socks , worth 25c. 250 buys fine camel's hair socks , all wool cashmere socks , heavy knit it
wool socks or fine derby ribbed socks. 300 buys excellent camel's hair socks. 350 buys fifty cent .to 'Em
cashmere socks or fifty cent heavy wool socks. .
That's one thing you can give to anybody for a New Year's Present , and be sure of it beyig acceptable. We've
got quite a number of them left yet , in cashmere and silk , from i5c fora quarter one , up to $2.50 * fora pure jersey silfi
one. We've got a few fine dark ones left yet and you'll find them very scarca , such onss rung * from 700 to"$2.5o eachi
M
In our Underwear Department there's quite a number of broken lines which take up more room than
: hey're worth. We don't want 'em. Do you ? All Wool Scarlet Shires and Drawers at 35c. All Wool Scarlet.
Shirts , [ no drawers left ] at 5oc each. One lot of heavy camel's hair Shirts and Drawers [ shirts double breasted ]
nt 650 each. One lot Fancy Mixed Shirts [ no drawers ] at 400. One lot very heavy brown Merino Shirts and
Drawers at 450. One lot random mixed Shirts and Drawers at 6oc. One lot fancy striped Shirts and Drawers
at 650. These are all broken lines by that we mean , that there may be lots of large sizes in one lot and nearly
all small sixes in the next , and so on. The prices we've made on them are low enough to tempt a man to buy
'or next year , if he's got enough for this.
*
FROM NOW TILL , 1891 THERE'LL BE FUN IN FURNISHING-S
Fourteenth and Douglas ,
Don't pass this BY for it
means you.
We have taken our entire
stock of
and put them on separate
tables , making FOUR [ 4 ]
'
LOTS :
PRICES ,
$8 , $12 , $15 , $25.
former prices from $12 to
$40. If there is any virtue
inGOOD
GOOD GOODS
AND
LOW PRICES
We shall clean out the
lines in a few days. Every
one knows the quality of
our goods , and when we
name the above prices it
means you will get better
values than you can * find
elsewhere.
DR. BAI LEY
GRADUATE DENTIST
A. I'uH Set of Toot1 !
on Itubuer , for
A perfect flt Rimr.intoed. leoth extracted ,
without p-xln or daiiRor. nml jvltLout anne ?
thetlcs. Gold and sUvorflUlngsut lowest
rates. Hrlclgo and Urowii York. Tooth wlth-
nut ulnti'i Allwnrlc wnrr.mteil.
OFFICE PAXTON BLOCK , 16TH AND FARNAM
Kntratico , ICth street elevator Upon oven-
gs until 8 o'clock
For piles
UBO Pond'a Extract.
orcUorelief Hko"lr. 1'lorce'a itaauct s
Trim. " ItlascurrJtlioutanrtil Ifyou wn
" ' . ' . . .
n | < urfrceI'Jruililct.V | > 1.
i Co. , totu fraucUcv , Cu
SPECIALIST.
Is iiiisurpu ! > &etl In the tmitinont of all
forms of
PRIVATE DISEASES
Stricture. Syphilis. Lost M.inhood , Skin Dis
eases mid remain Disease * . l > r. JlcGrowN
Httcucas In the tro.itniL'iitot tlioabuvo Diseases
lifts uuver bcouciiuuluil. A turolicuurnntccMl
without the loss ot nn hours tlmo. Wrlto
for clrc'iiliiis. LA 1)1 ) IN , fmm 2 to 4 only ,
onlce , Cnr. Htli and I'm mm Sts , Ormiha ,
Neb. Entrance on cither bticct.
L I V v
Corner IKli and llamaritraatj , Oinahi
FOR THE TREATMEMF Or ALL
Chronic Diseases and Deformities.
DR. A. T. McLAUGHLIN , Prorfldaat.
Founded by Dr. J.V. . MoMenamy.
DR.
Prnctlco llraltulto
Ulsi'aies ot tbo
LUNGS
AND
Nervous System
Including Neuralgia ,
'
llyitero
Epllouar , Conrul-
tloni , Solnnl InlU-
tlon , Klirmmntlsrn.
Chronic Alcobollou.
NtiTTOiu lloaduchol
Nervous I'ronratlon
contuiDptlon nml nil
dUeatcsottho lungs
HouinsSIti to 320 ,
BEE BUILDING ,
OMAHA.
NERVE AND BRAIN TREATMENT ,
Bpedflo for HjiterU.PIntneii.nti.KimrjIeU. Wuke >
fuTneif , Kintml Iwpmilon. Boftonlnicof tbu llmln.re-
IUUHBIn ln nltr ad ItucJlDlf to jnUery dtrar nil.I
de thrPr m tnr > i Old AB .B rrnn M. I.uwof I'oimr
Uvltbtr > .lnroluntarr l.oi. § . nU 8j > rin loritoon
eiuiwi br t > T r- > * rtlaof HID lirala , > elrljuio or
cr > r-lndulnnc * . fc&th box contalnionmontt'i trrnu
raont. CLabui. rr iu ( or I ) . 101 bjr mc4lire [ iild.
WHU * Mh order fur U hoin , will rnU | > imli or
vtiaranteo tu refund picnry If tno troatmtnt fAiliUI
tuiu. ( JuareiitevA luauU Aiulueaumoeuliluulyby
GOODMAN UUUG CO. ,
Nob.
THE BEST
IN THE WORLD.
ARE MADE BY THE
WoonsookeL & Rhode Island Rubber Go
thcir WC8torn ngotita and always onrry a Inrgo stock.
1204 and 1206 Harney Street.
FOR SALE
Jly 1'nlntlnz and I'apeMinnglnn builnosi , Kutah-
llslioil I8ii ) . Una u cll Hilccioil mock of Wnll
I'uper , Wall MoiilJInu'J. 1'alnti , llnnlioi , olo.
P. WINDHEIM ,
610 S. 10thStrootpinuia. ] _
FmU.Anid Oxt.V"I > r. I/oauo' Periodical Pllli
Hie French remed/ . net on the moiulruM filem and
cur * luppreidon Irom wlmiovcr causa. I'romol'j
nienitruutlun. 'i'tieio vllU itiouM nut t > 4 taken dur-
r.K preuniinojr. Am. I'lll Co. . Uciiraltr 1'ropi. Spun.
cerCI r Co. , In. Oenuliwbr bhennao * McConml.
Dod e t. . noart' . OiOJi h ! 0. A. Mulelwr. HoutU
Oui u ; U. i * . Ullu. couBdl Ulufl . Hur J farU.
FOR EVERY MAN , WOMAN & CHILD FOR WE bavo RUBBER
Dolls , Balls , Knimals and Toys ,
Which will last ten times us long as other kinds.
FINE WOOLEN COATS AND CLOAKS ,
Very drossy and of the latest styles. Good to wear In cold weather , rain or snow.
Arctics , Overshoes , Boots and Rubbers ,
COASTING SOLE and iilaln sole , which will outwear all other * .
A HOT WATER BOTTLE
Will Uoen the feet warm at night. Will euro nearly all palna and Inllammatlou-
BUY TI-IIH BI3ST GOODS A.T
OMAHA RUBBER COMPANY ,
Wholesale and Retail. Repairing Neatly Done. l8)S ) Farnain Street.
JOSEPH GILLOTT'S '
STEEL PENS.
GOLD MEDAL , PAnis EXPOSITION , 1089.
THE MOST PERFECT OF PENS.
WEAK :
Bufferlns from thu riltiiipf > imthful moi. , early
decar. wa tln weak.ueM. lu t raauhuul , etc , J will
wn < l a > aluable trc-nllia iM-nlnl ) tontalnlnir full
particular ! for liotno euro. I'll I ! K of cliaryi' . A
IplfmlM medical work iflioiiW I * nail liy ev ery
man whn li ncrroitu nd rirMlltalfil.
I'rof. i'.C.
FOR MEN ONLY *
ilAdlu tUlUj HOOD ; Gunoral nnd NKlU )
VO1IH ni'MHilTY. Wuulcncs * o ( Holy and I
Mind ; illTeutsnf Krrnrii or uxiWHiutlii Uld 01
Vounir. Itutiust. Noble MANHOOD fully re-
tidied Wo Kiianintou uvciy vaiu or money
refunded. Huinplo course , live duyii' treat * v < .
incnt. * ll ( nil coiirso. jj. oi ouroly Mealed tioat r - -
Lkurvutlou. Cook Iteinoily Uu. . Oiimliu , Noa
) i u JOniu'Cor. Utliund Uodu t
FEMALE BEANS
AIlul < hrrll lil ( , rwrfrctlr ufo. molt powerful f mtl
AJ VriMi'i'fox utit'n ro.'niif iOH. Yi
/M | | bi UUOUUA.S PlldU UU.
