14 THE OMAHA DAILY JbUlUi1. ISLLXD NOVEMBER 9 , 1SOO-SIXTEBN PAGES.
THE LAST HOSES OF SUMMER
Concluding Effusions of the Fanny Mon
Before Entering the Winter Campaign.
SORROWS .NEVER DO COME SINGLY ,
Eo Hcllretcd the Hnd-KycU Mnn-lJrn
LomondVns Oat Merely a
' I'rrsninpllon Wlmt Ho
Needed Must.
Brooklyn Life : Salvationist ( stopping on
the roai ) Young nmn , nro you ready to
die )
Jack-Look here , my friend , I'm entirely
unarmed and tinv'nt a cent about inc.
Y M , It Never U'onld io.
Now York Kun : " Semi this car to the re-
ji ilr shop , " ordered the Inspector. " Yes , sir.
What Is wrougl"
"I notice that two of the windows open
easily. Have them attended to. "
Why Ho AViiH'nt Like Slink OHppnro.
New York Herald : ' ' You nro not llko my
Rood friend Khuhesponrc , " said Kaleluh tohls
cxcutloner after ho had Inspected the Instru
ment of dentil.
" \Vhyl " inked the headsman grufliy.
" You provide for no intormisslons between
the ax.11
Tlipy No\or Uoiiio Kingly.
Somervlllo Journal : " You seem to bo
nnili-trd with Krent sorrows , " remarked n
ayinjmthlc stranger to the sad-oycd man.
" No " the "my
, responded sad-eyed man ;
Borrows are nil llttlo ones. I hnvo Just re
ceived n telegram announcing twins.1
Always nn Kyo to | ! U ! IIP S.
Fllencndo Hluttcr : Country resident ( to
peddlerCct ) ! muiy out of here , now , or If
don't I'll whistle .
you for my dog.
Peddler- All rlpht sir , but first won't you
allow me to toll you a good whlstlol
II u Was Out.
Sunday School Chronicle : A yoniif ? Lon
doner went for n llrst visit to Scotland , and
en his return boasted abundantly. Ho had
ascended every mountain , nnd soon every
thlntr of interest. A Scotch mnn In the com-
ynny nsUcd with something of a mysterious
brogue , but \ery quietly. "Old you sco Hen
Lomond when y'oa were thcioj" The boaster
was taken aback by thn question , but lie
drew himself together and rnpllcd , "No , I
did not , I called on him but he was out. "
A Presumption.
Chicago Inter Ocean : "Dr. Pellet cured
jou. 1 understand ! "
"Yes. "
"lie's a homeopathist , I believe I"
"Yes. "
"Then cured I ! "
you are sugar , suppose
Puck : -AuutjMary Poor Bess , dooi your
tooth ueho yet ! If it wcro mine , dear , I'd
hnvo it out at once.
Boss-lflt weio yours J TVell , Auntie , so
would I.
_ _ _
r w w 4
AVImt Ho Needed Slost.
Washington Post : "I think , " said the
editor in a worried tone , "that I will drop
Journalism and take to astiouomy. "
"WhvJ"
"Well , astronomers nlways seem to have
moro spnco than they know w hat to dq with. "
No
NowYoikSun : "All 70 world lofcs 70
loafer , Mecs Bullion : 7 < ilraforo I have zo hope
rat you vill lof ) me , " said the count.
"Oh , I'm not particularly fond of loafers ,
Count , " replied the young woman significant
ly. _ '
A Had Kniturc.
Judge : Stntrgors Yes , sir ; marriage is a
fall uro with mo.
Snooper Ah ?
Stap'crYc | < ? , sir ; I wns led to'bclle\o
that the Rirl I loved was worth $10,000. After
the ceremony I found she had only $100 in
bank.
Snooper That is a bad failure. Just ono
cent on the dollar , wasn't It !
Tliu Fulled ( rop.
New York Weekly ; Young Lady How
much Is this ribbon ay null
Clerk Ten dollars , mndum , and going up
every minuto.
Young Ludy Mercy me ! I didn't suppose
It would bo over GO cents.
Clerk ( with dignity ) That ribbon , madam ,
Is peach color.
Ccrk.
Life : "Why , Bridget , did my mnmina
liavo another husband before Mio mnriicd my
papal"
"Yls , darllnt , but ho doted , ycr sco. "
"Oh , Bridget , I'm ' so sorry mamma lost her
husband t"
"Faith mi' yo'd bottlier bo plad. Bessie. If
ho'd a lived he might have made ye n cruel
Btln-feythcrl" _
lln Loved Ilrr Still.
Epoch : PccUloy My wlfo wants to have
a portrait In oil of her mother , but the old
lady Is dead and wo have no likeness of hoi1
except this photoprnph. Could you make u
iwrtralt from Unit !
Dauuloy Oh. yes : I will promise to give
you n spcuklng likeness.
Pecklcy That won't do , I don't want that
Ind.
_
Not IIxcliiHlvo Hnaiifrh for Her.
Life : Colonel Groytop-Mlss Uptown , I
would llko to introduce na old friend of mine
n soldier ono of the Baluklnva Six Hun
dred.
dred.Miss
Miss Uptown-Ono of the Six Hundred 1 0 ,
colbucl , hudu't I hotter sco mamma llrst.
A Source of Oaln.
American Stationer : "Blobson , " said the
millionaire , "hero nro twenty begging let
ters. Glvo thorn all a refusal. "
"Yos , sir. "
"You will note that n 2-cont stamp Is in
closed In each for an answer. "
"Yes. air. "
"Well , answer them all on postals. "
The FliiNh'Mmlo Him Flush.
Jewelers' Circular : Gnzlcy Flodjjely must
bo qulto well off with the world's goods.
Guzzum-1'vo never had that Impression
Why do you think sol
* * Gnzloy Ho showed mo a handful of diamonds
mends last evening.
Uuzzura Do you moan It !
G nzloy Yes , I do j and ho won the pot will
them.
lnuoioiiNo.
Clothier nnd Furnisher ; Mrs.lJlngo Wha'
do you expect to glvo your husband foi
Christmas I
Mrs. Honeymoon I told him the other daj
I thought I would glvo him some neckties.
Mrs. Bingo And I hoard him tell mj
husband afterward that ho wouldn't weai
them.
Mrs. Honeymoon That's tbo worst of it
John thinks so much of the things I glvo bin
und is so careful of them , that 1 hnvo tlu
hardest kind ofork to got them on him.
I A Wonderful Unliy.
Ca\te \ Cod /fern.
'Sny ' 'pnpn ' , ' darling , " Iho mother cooed ;
It opened Its big eyes blue ,
With wondering look the visitor viewed ,
And crowed and said "goo-goo. "
"Sny 'mamma,1 darling , " the mother cried
"sny 'momma , ' sweet one , do , "
It tugged at the hair of its curly head
And laughed nnd said "goo-goo. "
"Now sny 'good-by , ' " nnd the motho
smiled
With Joy that was pleasant to view ;
"Now say 'good-by , ' anil the wlnsomo child
! Responded oud said "goo-goo. "
Then the mother embraced thn llttlo dear
And kissed It again and ngatn ,
As she gurclngly snld , "dm you ever hour
A baby that talked so plain 1"
A. Moderate
Somervlllo Journul : ' 'You may bring me,1
saltl tha KcntliMimu from the country , \vu
liart wnuderod Into the Pnrkcrbouso uliiln
room under u misapprehension , nnd who luu
apcnt an apprehensive ton minutes In lookln ,
ever the iirices on the bill of faro , "you ma
bring a KWSS ot water nnd a llttlo salt. 1'v
only got n dollur in my pocket , and 1 dou'
want to llvo beyond my means. "
No I'miKrr orOvororowdlnj- ,
New York Wcoltly : Clerk Any thing else
madaiul icau show you some t'rctV Lurguui
In hnmmoi-ks , put down to hrlK price on nc-
count of the Intones * of the season. They nro
flno goodg , double strength , and will como
linndy next summer , you know.
Kxpcrlenccd Alatron-O , the ordinary lunil
Avlll do for my daughter next sutnntur. She's
to bo married Christmas.
Locnl Pi-ldc.
I'ucUi "Whero nro nil the prominent cltl-
sens this raornlncl" asked n tourist of the
landlord of the Oklahoma hutise.
"I dtintio , pcrslzcly , " wus the reply.ou
see , lust night the boys took n hess tlilcf oJt
to the tree whcro they tillus hnng'ein , an' lo
and behold 1 they found n now-conior had cut
It down. The ho thlof happened to know
who ilono It. Thoy'ronftc-r him now , the hess
thief le.idln1 the pursuit. He's got n hcsii ) uv
local pride , even If ho does steal. If they
Itctch the feller , they'll l > o apt to strlnij him
up nn1 turn tlio hess thlof loose. Wo nlr n
people who llko to cticou rage public spirit. "
Pure , clmsto , rich cut glass I1 * more nnd
moro pil/ed for wo und for ornnmcut , Uor-
lllncer's American cut glnss stntids unrivaled
at homo or abroad , livery plcco btw tliclr
trudc-ninrlt label. Knquiro for It of dealer.
Ur Ulruuy ; HOMO nnd throat , Bco bldg ,
COA'A V 1.1,1 1.ITIIIS.
The Utah spare-rib- misfit wire.
Charllo I will dlo for you. my darling.
Will you ho my wlfof Clara Get your llfo
Insured bcforo you die , and I guess Its u go.
Grindstone Isn't It strnngo that Plodder
has married thnt ilcuf mutol KllJorJny Not
so very stiaiirc | , Shs'a his thlru , you know.
The wlfo of Kov. William Howtand of
Piifcsale N. J. has obtained divorce from him
because she preferred society to religious
worn.
Groom A ring around the moon Is the sign
of rain. Bride ( sweetly ) And n ring around
a woman's linger Is the sign of " Groom
( sadly ; Kulgu.
"I hnvo a beautiful wife. " "You hnvo , In
deed.11 "WhutI Hnro you scon kcrl" "No ;
but I never saw nn ugly man married yet
who didn't got ttio pick ot the lloclt. "
Prof. Charles \V. Fleming of Plttsburg wns
recently married to Miss Uluncho Lynn la
the same room with the corpse of the bride's
father , This wns according to the wishes of
tlio deceased.
In her suit for separation from her hus
band , begun in a Brooklyn court. Mrs. Annlo
Hall nltuKCS as the cause that her husband
grinds his teeth in his sleep , and that the
sound Is ruining her nerves.
Thomas Ulssell and wife separated nearly
twenty years ago in Michigan. The other
day Mrs. llissell went to Hannibal , Mo. ,
uucro she met her husband and now they nro
living together again.
Friend You have only been married a
week nnd .hero I llnd you in tears. Young
\Vlfo-Yes , but my husband has been run
ning for olilcc , and I have been reading In
the papers what an unmitigated scoundrel
ho Is.
Is.Married
Married persons live longer than slnglo
ones , nnd the lull have a butter chnnco for
long llfo than those of short stature. Women
have moro chances of long life in their favor
piovious to fifty years of ago than men hnvo ,
but fewer afterward.
* Joseph Andersen , a printer , wns to have
mart led llortlm Cloud the other day at
Lcavenworlh , Kim. , but there was n hitch In
the obtaining of thn license and ho fatally
shot himself on the day before tbo wedding
was to have taken place.
new local law has been enforced at
lint-danger , in Noway , to the effect that no
? Irl shall be eligible for the miirrmgo state
intiishols prollolent in spinning , knitting
nnd baking. This might dismay some of the
nest "eligible" ot modern society.
Mrs. Ijivcrmoro says that her husband Is n
republican , wbilo she Is a prohibitionist ; ho
's n protectionist , whllo she is a free trader ;
: io hns a pew iu ono church , and she in an
other ; ho lias ono doctor , she another ; and
yet they nro liappy and harmonious , und
icvcr dream of quarreling. -
Dee Union , a young man of Blachwater
! Mo. , wanted to ranrry Miss Cora Fnuly und
they went to Nelson to hnvo the ceremony
performed. The young lady's brother-in-law
seized her nt the church door , carried her olT
nnd looked her up. The lover followed , col
lected his friends , sci/.cd tlio obstreperous
brother-in-law , released the girl nnd whllo
the crowd held liimCitton took his sweetheart
to n Justice shop where they were inado ono.
If. as has been estimated , the population of
the United States is twelve times us great ns
time of the Dominion , It will bo seen that the
divorce ratio is immensely gicater hero than
there , due , no doubt , to the systems of Iho
two countries nnd to the higher estimate
placed by our northern neighbors on the in
violability of the tie tnan wo do. While the
population of the two countries is as twelve
to one , ttb divorced nro as ' . ' ,700 lo one.
In 18T7 William F. Nast , who had previ
ously man led a daughter of a St. Louis
banker , went to Europe , leaving his wife in
Now York. After n time Mrs. Nast returned
to St. Louis \\lth her ihreo children and
mourned her husband ns dead. On October
1 she was surprised to receive a letter irom
him dated Montreal , oxulaining his absence
nnd nskiu ? reconciliation , which was granted ,
nnd the two met iu Chicago tlio other day for
Iho lirst time In thirteen years. Mr. Nnst
whllo In Europe secured control of tlio largest
paper mill on the continent.
Dr. Birnoy cures caturrli , I3eo bUlg
The prettiest sight In the world Is a pretty
woman's feet in .leisoy Lily boots , nnd since
Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup cures all sorts ol
colds and costs but > cents , all women can
wear thorn.
Thoeaith moves , Evidence , you can buy
n lirst-clasj liniment , Salvation Oil , for lil
cents.
Dr. Birnoy , nose and throat , Boo bldg'
Speaking of miracles , the speaker who
"bets the table In roar" Is no small nuts.
"What shall wo do to bo saved ! " asked the
canipmeeting orator , fervidly.
' Seems to mo ns if wo'd otightor git lost
fust , " snld n prosaic man In the nudicnco.
Atlanta Constitution : Book agent it
editor Can 1 sell you our new book ,
"Thoughts on the Hereafter } "
Editor No use for It ; my deslt is Jam ur
to the steam healer.
Judging by tbo effect produced by wor
shipping his especial art , Isank Walton might
have been the God of Lies.
" 1 rather commend the McICinley bill , "
said Iho church treasurer , "I do not llnd
nearly so many pearl buttons In the plato as
I used lo , "
bo ninny moro babies than grown folks gc
to heaven that wo imagine a great part of tlu
singing done up there must bo in getthif
them to sleep.
"No , " sidd Mr. Whiteehoker , after there
vivat , "this curing of sinners is , strange t <
say , no sinner-cure. "
I had a peep in Paradise last night ,
And tbcro I saw , nil clad in gorgeous ycl
The only remnant of our choir bright.
The Ind the little , ono who workud tlu
bellows.
The colored pressman In n newspaper oftlc <
at Houston , ( jn. , claims to bo well posted 01
blblo subjects. Ono of Its precepts ho ren
tiers as follows : "If your orothor sinoto yoi
on ono side of the Jaw , turn the other shto ti
be smotcd , nnd the third blow is vourn. "
"A llttlo less uoUo , please , " suggested tin
superintendent , stopping , ns lie passed dowi
the aisle. "Thero is too much levity in till ;
class. " "Wo are studying Leviticus , " explained
plained ono of the boys.
"Bo not drunken with wine , wherein Is
excess , " said the clergyman to the toper
"I ain't , sir , " replied the soak ; "I novoi
drink anything but beer nnd whisky , "
Dr. Blruuv euros uutnrrli , Boo bld < .
Tlio Kgjptlim "Way.
Now and tlion an olflcor in the Ejjyp
thin army mysteriously disappears tun
is henrd of no moro. It isnuinu cupUiin
nmjor or colonel who lias served u you
or so without miy , and who hegiiiH to in
nulro when the paymaster Is to arrive
That Bottles him nt once und forever.
Dr. Ulrnoy , nose and throat,13co bldg
Will Tuku a Vuo.itlon.
A Japanese author has just finished i
novel on which ho htm boon steadily n
work for forty-oiio years , anil as soon a
the proofd have been corrected ho pro
poses to run over to Kio-Flo for two o
thrco dnyn and face his undo aud take i
llttlo vucutlou.
THE CATSIP GAKIIEX.
Eugene Fluid In Plltsbure Dullotln :
OBVO upon u ( line there Hvod in the
beautiful city of UonVoni certain gcntlo-
man of the imtno of Toll , ami ho was a
judfj'c. All over the stnto of Colorado
ntul oUewhoro , too , thujudgo was famed
for lib goodness and his learning. In
fact , he was so good and &o learned that
ono Chrlstmnij-Gvo Santa Glaus cumo
mid brought him u sweet little buby son.
The judge was very proud.
"I will rear this llttlo son to bo a good
nndgroat jurist , " suid ho , "and whoa I
am old rind feeble ho will bo the staff
nnd comfort of my ago. "
Ono of the first thingsJudgo Toll did
was to biro a nurse to take oaro of the
pretty llttlo boy , for It so happened ,
snilly enough , that the baby's mother
was not strong enough to carry the baby
and niniibO It all the time. The nurse was
a kindly old lady , who bud lived away
down in the far east , where there were
many baby girls and tome baby boys , so
she knew about babies and just how to
tnko care of thorn.
This baby was very fond of his nurse ;
and ho would Ho In her lap and adinlro
hoi1 antique style of architecture , or
would pat her wrlnkleu cheeks and coo
the sweetest baby music Imaginable.
Tills made Judge Toll very happy.
"How handbomo the baby is , " ho would
say to himself , "and "what a pi-cat jurist
lie will become ! "
Hut ono day the old nurse caino to the
judge and Bald : "Wo must do something
for the baby. "
The judge was vastly astonished.
"You surely do not mean to tell mo
that the baby Is slckV" ho exclaimed.
"No , not exactly sick , " said the old
nurse , "but ho needs toning up. Ho is
fat and strong and contented , but thove
Is a kind of look "in his eyes that tolls
mo that ho needs a tonic. "
"Then wo will call the doctor. "
"Therois no need of that , " protested
the old nurse. "Tho doctor would laugh
at you , and pay that the baby was all
right. But I know just as well as I
know anything1 that the child needs
toning npl"
"Well , then , what shall it be ? " naked
Judge Toll. "Paregoric , squilL , castor
oil , liivo syrup , bclladonaV
"None of them , " answered the old
nurse , ' 'for ' they uro all drugs , and the
baby doesn't need drugs. What ho needs
Is toning up. "
The judge said nothing , ho did not
know what to say. Of law , of politics ,
of mining , of literature , nnd or other
worldly things bo know much , but of
baby tonics ho know simply nothing.
"What the baby needs is catrip tea , "
said the old nurse. "Nothing will tone
up a baby's system like catnip toa.
Down in Vermont an' Maine an' Mass'-
chusotts they always bring up their
babies on catnip tea , an'that's why their
babies make fauch smart men an'
womon. "
"But I thought catnip was something
cats eat , " interposed the judgo.
"Law mo , an1 so it is , " said the old
nurse , "but it's just as likely living for
folks. Why , there's nothin' ' in the world
that'll tone up a weak system like a bowl
of strong catnip toa. I halo to see this
blessed child pinin' for whut'd bo the
makiir of him. "
"I know nothing about it nt all , " said
Judijo Toll , "but if you say that the baby
iceds catnip , I will got some for him. "
Judge Toll wont all over town after
catnip into every drug store , every gro
cery and every doctor's oHlce , but not a
sprig of it could ho find anywhere.
"You will have to send east for it , '
he druggists said "it doesn't grow out'
there in Colorado.
"Then bond east for it I willl" cried
Judge Toll. And so ho did. That very
night ho wrote to a colloiro friend in
Massachusetts , informing him of bis
dilemma and asking him to send forth
with a goodly supply of catnip , no mat
ter how much it cost !
Well , in about throe weeks' timothoro
cauio along a largo express package
from the east , and whoa the judge
opened it ho found that it contained
forty-nine bunches of gveon catnip. Oh
how fresh and fragrant they were , ant
how their green leaves and assertive
odors took ono back across the ark
plains and muddy rivers to the ferny
wild woods of dear old Yankeoland !
"Tho baby shall have catnip tea three
times a day now ! " cried the judgo.
"Hero's enough to last a year , " sale
the old nurso.
"I'll we'll we'll
toll you what do plant
some of those bunches in the yard , an
whenever wo need a few leaves for a tea
we can stop out and pluck them. So wo
will have an ovor-inorensln'supply. "
"That's a good plan , " said the judiro.
"Wo will plant those healing herbs at
oncoand they shall beautify and perfume
our promises. "
That afternoon Judge Toll planted
the catnip herb in pretty rows in the
front yard , and thereafter carefully irri
gated thorn every morning and evening.
It was surprising how soon the plants
took root , and in less than seven days
were as nourishing in their adopted sol
as they would liuvo boon on the hills ol
Vermont. Whenever the old nurse
wanted to make a tea she stoppci
out into the yard and plucked i
few catnip loaves , bteoped them In ho
water , and there It was as natural a cat
nip tea as ever simmered on a stove 01
trickled down a ebaby's throat. The
catnip bushes meanwhile thrived ant
shot out fresh sprigs and leaves , am
their fragrance filled the nir for a great
distance.
Uncle Seth Cooley , who lived on Capitol
tel Hill , ono morning hobbled down to
the toll place and leaned over the fence
and gazed tenderly at the thrifty herb
"Jest as nut'ral as ever , " said Uncl
Seth , slowly and sadly , as bis nostrils
dilated. "Jest as nat'ral as when Mlttj
an11 used to go hucklcborryln' In the
mcddcr , near the plum trees , out ii
Polham. Say , jedge , you wouldn'
mind givln' mo a boohay on 'om
would yo ? I'd kind o' like to smell 'on
and take 'em homo to Mitly. " And olt
Mrs. Baxter cnino ever from Evans' Ad
dition , and bogged a 'bookay , ' too. Shi
cried softly ever the coarse , groei
leaves , as if the sight of thorn awakened
memories of the tlrao when old UncU
Dan'l and she started out in llfotogothoi
in a llttlo frame cottage "at Dummors
ton , on the West river , just six 'miles
f'mlJrattloboro' . " Oh , yes , the Yankee
folk came from all parts of the city o
Denver to BOO that wonderful front yard
to pluck the catnip leaves and toll mar
vellous stories of the cures the herb hai
olTcctcd , And all this time the rows o
catnip kept growing and growing am
growing , and the fragrunco wont up , am
was wafted hither and thither by tin
breezes.
Away up on top of a very high moun
tain near 1M Norto , there lived an eli
Malte-so cat , the maternal ancestor o
many generations of her species. Sh <
had come across the plains in a prairh
schooner in 18.5 ! ) with , a party of oral
grants , and now she lived in the hos
ultnblo loft of the stable nearest tin
summit of an Jmposlng pjulc , not fa
from Del Norto. Ono nlpht this old Mai
teso cat was traversing tlio ridgepole o
the stable , when she wan brought to i
biulden standstill by the brooKe blowliif
from the northeast.
"Woo-ow-ow ! " exclaimed the old Mai
teso folluo ; tuid hei % eyes { jllttorei
itrniiRely , her 'tfitl began to expand , and
lor venerable fun foso on her back.
"Why , gran'nw , " Inquired ono of the
ounger cats , a | U/muro / inaldon tabblo of
incortaln ' ' ' what alls
ago , vhy , grnn'mn ,
our'
"Woo-ow-owl" replied the old Maltese
cat again. "Woe-owowl I smell cat-
lint"
Now the otlior cats had heard about
catnip , but hail hover scon any. The
ales which the Maltose fat hail told
ibout her experiences with the favorite
vecd bciforo she- loft her klttonhood
loino in Maine Im'd ' boon handed around
imong the other cats of Colorado as
quaint legends. All the other cats had
icard toll of IhoRubtlo glories of catnip ,
> ut none had over behold or oven whiffed
the grateful herb.
"WnoroV" asked twenty joung cats in
chorus.
"O , I don't know , " replied the old
Maltose cat , "hut 1 can smell It , and
I'm going to follow up ' the trail until t
find it
"With these portentous words the old
Maltose cat whisked her tall , gave a
wild "Weo-ow" and started on a run for
Denver , 300 miles away.
" \Vco-o w-owl" cried the other cats
ind the kittens , too and off they started
for Denver , giving the old Maltose a hot
race ever hill siml valley , peak and plain ,
mead and wold.
The word was passed around , and the
cry wont up here and there llko wildllro
"Catnip ! catnip ! catnipl Wo'ro going
to got seine catnipl" The tidings reached
Alamosa , nnd ran along the whole of the
mountain range of Colorado. The excitement -
citomont was intense cats hurried from
ovcry house , cabin , barn , stable , shod
and mine , and joined the vast'procession.
Every city , town , hamlet and camp was
instantly deserted by Its rat population
such a yowling had novef before been
lieard , such a Hoothlnpr army of cats had
never been seen. The miner in his
lonely hut , hearing the awful rush ,
sprang from his cot and cried : "Tho
mow-slide ! ! Run for
- the snow-slid your
llvcsl" But It was only the cats on the
gallop toDenver. Oh ! It was a prodigious
spcctalo , and the old Maltese called the
vanl
Judge Toll was dreaming pleasant
dreams that night , when ho was awak-
aned therefrom by a din which throw
lilm into a cold sweat. Ho crawled out
of his bed , slipped anxiously into his
trousers , seined his faithful shotgun , nnd
stole softly to the window. The strangd
nolso seemed to como from the front
yard yes , from the rows of' catnip
bushes.
Then the judge peered out of the win
dow , and what do you think ho saw ?
Myriads of cats billows of cats ! Cats
of ovcry size , weight , color , sox , condi
tion nnd description black cats , white
cats , Maltese cats , tortoise-shell cats ,
brindle cats , spotted cats , striped cats ,
brown cats , yellow cats , iniiuvo cats ,
gamboge cats , long cats , short cats , tall
cats , fat cats , lean cats , stump-tailed
cats , one-eared cats , wall-eyed cats ,
three-legged cats , mamma cats , papa
cats and klttoiH--oh , yes , kittens , of
every kind , and \yithout number ! And
here theyve ro in Judge Toll's
trout yard , among and on
ho rows of catnip bushes ,
purring , sprawlitig' , yowling , like so
many demons.
"Pur-r-r. " said the old , way-back Mal
tese cat , all the way from Del Norte
"puiT-r-r ! oh ! ibii't this lovely ? It's the
first catnip I've had in going on twenty-
live years purr-r-rl I thank hcnvon
that I have lived , to &eo this grateful
fruit introduced > into the Rocky moun
tain region ! "
Anu then all , , the other cats , there
must have been a million of them , purred
in chorus bo loud that it sounded like an
awful , lingerinc peal of thunder. But
this was not till. Oh , no ! By the bright
moonlight Judge Toll could see myriads
nnd myriads of other cats surging down
from the mountain ranges , and through
the valleys and over the plains from
Georgetown , Salida , Idaho , Golden ,
Boulder , CrobtedButtoTincupSnn Juan ,
Pueblo , Cucharas , Buena Vista , Conojos ,
Durnngo , M niton , Loadvillo , Ouruy ,
Iluorfuno , Kokoma. Monument , Eoslta ,
Sngaucho and Trinidad the foothills
were allvo with catstho mountain peaks
swarmed with cats , and cats , cats , cats
swept along like a whirling torrent to
ward ono focal point , Judge Toll's'catuip
bed.
bed.And
And lo ! the cats were coming from
other directions , too from the arid
plains of Kans'as and from Deer Trail ,
from Monotony Water Tank and from
the dreary confines of Nebraska , the
breeze blowing1 from the north brought
the noise of vast armies of cats on their
way from Laramie and Cheyenne.
The , cats already in the judge's front
yard , how they purred and writhed and
yowled , and how the sparks of olcctricity
shot from their furry hacks as thoj
rubbed affectionately up againstho rows
of catnip ! It was in fact , a carnival ! .1
cat saturnalia !
The judge said to himself , "I will
shoot in among all these trespassers , and
diivo them away. AVhat right have they
to do vastato my beauteous exotics ? "
But then came the second bolter
thought. Would it not bo cruel to do-
prlvo these creatures of the long-denied
pleasure they were now oiijoying in the
catnip bed ? None of them , &avo the old
Maltese , had over before soon or tasted
the precious herb , they knew of it only
from the legendry lore with which the
old way back Maltese cat had regaled
them , their fathers , thoirmothors , their
grandmothers , their grandfathers , and
so on ad inlinitum.
And the moro Judge Toll thought It
ever , the more ho became satisfied that
ho ought , in all humanity , to lot the
cats stay and enjoy the catnip. So at
last ho wont back to his bed and renewed
bis slumber as best ho could.
When ho got up next morning and
looked into his front yard , not a cat waste
to bo seen , nor yet a vcstlgo of the cat
nip either. The , turf was widely rent
and torn up ; aid | every leaf , twig , sprig
and root of catnip had disappeared. It
was conjectured v\hat \ the cats took it nil
away with them. They must liavo had
a terrible battle over the remnants of the
feast , for here and there on thodosnollod
turf lay eyes and oars , and bits of tails
and tufts of fur silent but eloquent evi
dences of the last tragic sec no of all.
The coal mining industries of Tnnldad ,
Col. , nro something really wonderful. The
mines nro wlmt uro commonly called the
"sldo-hlll mine"'so frequently found in Penn
sylvania and othdr mountain mining regions.
There nro three veins of coal , the upper ono
seven to twelve feet thick , nnd so easily
lalnctl that the minors at WJc per ton fre
quently make to exceed $100 per month. The
leading operator there sold that the time was
lllcoly to coma wtlcu coal would bo put nbonnl
thu carat Trinidad at " 5 cents per ton , am )
leave a handsome protlt to the inino operator.
For full Information address Trinidad Land
and Improvement Co. , Trinidad , Col.
Dr. Blrnoy cures catarrh , Boo bldg
A Veteran of the Hlniilc Hawk \Vai- ,
DUXLAI- . , Nov. 3. To Editor of THE
DUE : I saw & statement In THE SUXDAV BEE
of Nov. 2 that Ultlcon L. i'ace , the last sur
vlvor of the Blade Huwk war , was doau. 1
wish to cot root this as my grandfather
Louis Gay. aged 83 years , is still living In
Hawaii , California. Ho was a soldier In the
Black Hawk war. Mxunn HOHEIITS.
' Frequently accidents occur la the house
hold which cause burns , cuts , sprains am
bruises ; for use In such cases Dr. J. H , Me
Lean's Volcanic Oil Liniment has for inmij
years been the constant favorlto fanill ]
remedy.
Dr. Blrnoy , nose and throat ) Bee bldg
WHAT
-IT -
WILL 1)0 )
Produces a Beautiful Complexion.
Whitens a Sallow Sltln.
Removes Moth nn d Llv r SpSls
Prevents Sunburn and Tnn.
To TrarolRru It la Indispensable.
Keeps tlio Sltln perfect In any Climate.
I'l.ANTA 1JI3A.T1UOI : , 1'HU JAIt tl.VS
FLESH WORM PASTE.
Skin Refiner and Pimple Remover.
Will rcllno a COAUSB , 110U(3H ( , I'OHOI'S SKIN , n
positive euro forl'IMl'liKtl , eniiillom. uml entirely
r niovi thntilliiKrraillaHKINiSS : wllli which n >
ninny nronllllclol. IVrJnr. II..V ) .
These Rood * lire iibsolutolyl'UIIIIniKlH A UMI.r.SS
nml ran tie obtained nt tlio fullunlrm rci'icsonttitlvu
l * llo A Leslie , intli niut DoilRO Streets.
Kiihn A Co. , Corner IStli niul PoiiKlus street" , ami
Nurth Sllh nrnl Holt l.liio.
J , A. fuller A Co. , IW2 Doimlns street.
Wholinlo Aknnts : Itlchutdson Drug Co. , lOOfiind
lull Jones Btrcct.
Or of Solo Mnntifncttiror' ,
London Toilet Bazat1 Co. ,
38 and 40 West 23d St. , New York.
Wholesale CXllcc , No. S ) Hast 17th St.
Trontl eon the complexion nt above nildress free ,
or rent lo nnjndilross on receipt of 4 ct .
' "
FO'R"LA DIES ) SHOES
"lALMA
POLISH.
Try ono bottle und
you will use no other
joliah for your Shoos.
Only Shoo Dressing
ovei1 awarded a silver
modal.
ARC and INCANDESCENT
Isolated Electric Upht Plants.
( The U. S. System. )
Electric Motors and Generators. Write
for prices and estimates.
11.11. HUMPHREY , Agent ,
Now Yoik I lfe HulUllngOnialia , Xcb.
A SOMETHING NEW-J1.00 nil hour onslly
uiniule by Aponts , mult ) or f > nuiU . Saiu-
] ) Ion ml fulliiartlculnrsfieo. CHAS. E. MAII
ASIII.U Lockport N. V.
Physicians , Surgeons and Specialists.
14OO DOUGLvA.S STRBB.T
OMAHA ,
The most widely nmlfavorably known spec
ialists In tlio United Slates. Their loir. ; ox-
ricrlonco , remurknblo skill mid universal sue-
t'csa In the truutiiiont nwl curuot Norvoiii ,
Chionlo und Surgical Diseases , entitle thcso
eminent plijslelans to thn full conOdcnuo of
the nllllrtcdnvorywlioro. Tlmy cimruntpu :
A OKUTAIN AND I'OSlTlVfi OUltH for
tlio awful oilcuts of oiirly vice nnd Iho nuinur-
oii9 uvlls Unit follow In Hi tniln ,
1'llIVATK , 1II.UOD ANUHK1N DISHASCS
EUPOdlly , comnlotply nnd ncriniinoiitly cured.
NEKVOIJS lKIULlTy ANI ) SKXUAIj 1HS-
OHUEHS yield readily to their skillful treat-
inont.
1'Ibn.o , KISTtir/A AM ) liEOTATi UI.OEUS
CiiiiranU'i-d cured without pain or detention
AND VAHIOOUKLE pcrnia-
noiitlynml Bucccssfnlly cured In uvcry cusc.
8V1MIIL1S. GONOltltllEA , GhEET , Spor-
niitoirlici ! , Keii.lnulVcakntss , L nt Manhood ,
Night KmlbSlous , Duunyvd I'licnltlcs , 1'cmnlu
AVcaknoss a ml all dullcato disorders peculiar
to cither hex positively cured , us well as all
functional disorders that result fnnn youth
ful follies or the excess of nuturo yeaia.
CTDIfr JIDIJ Ouarauteed iiurmanuntly
Ol IvlV l Ulxlj cured , removal con pleto.
without ctittlu ? . caustlo or dilatation. Ouroi
n ( Toe ted ut homo by patient without a mo
ment's pain or iimmynnco.
TO-YOUNG AND MIDDLE-AGED MtN.
A QT1PT7 f'TIPI ? The awful offosts of
A oUK.ll Ul\ll early vlcu which brliijn
ornnnlc weakness , destroying both mind anil
body , with all 119 Urcuded ills , poriiianonty
cm eel.
11 U < C UT7'1"P Adilrcss those wlio luvvo 1m-
fl\ij. ULil 1 0 putrcd theinsohcs by 1m-
properlndulRoneo nnd solllaiy hiblts , which
ruin both mind und body , uiiilulnj ; them for
, Ktudv or ni
MAUHIIC1) ) JIKN or those c-nturlmr on tint
liuppy life , awaroof pliysloaldoljllity ,
" 83lSlC"-
DUE SUOOBSS
Is based upon facts. 1'lrst Practical oxporl-
once. Second Kvory case Is i-peolally studied ,
thus starting rlKht. Third Meillclnea are
prepared In our laboratory exactly to .suit
cuen cai-o , tlms t'lTootlngcuicswIthoutlnjury.
Drs Betts & Betts ,
1409 DOUGLAS STREET , OMAHA. NEB
DBJ.C. WEST'S '
NERVE AND BRAiN TREATMENT ,
Bpfcino for lly terlanintlnrMKIU.NeuraleJ .Wol. .
( ulnesi. Mental HerrtMloii.KoffenlDiTnt the Ilraln. r -
tultlnu Iu Inianltr and IcadlnK to mUrry ilivar anil
death , Premature OIJ Ae . iiarrwniM-t , I o ot 1'owrr
In cither x. Involuntary l.otre , and Hpermnforihtca
rauied by orcr-cxertlou of Iho brain , telf-flMiro or
over-lndiilgonco. bach bairniitalnionemonlli'itreat.
ment. tlnliot , or ill lor $ ) . > fnt liy mall prrpjld.
\\lth each order for ilx IIOIPH. will teml punliancr
( ruarantfo to teftinU money If the treatment rails tu
euro. Uimranteiu liiuea undfenulno coldtalybjr
GOODMAN DRUG OO.
111O Parnam Street , Omaha.
FACIAL BLEMISHES
flie Itrecut Kitabllihiiientln tin
\\orlil \ fur Ilia triacmrnt of Hair
iuil M-alp , Eczrina. Hold. Wurtl ,
supertluoui llalr , Hlrthmarki ,
Muili. I rt cliff , \ \ riolile , nfdNoi
ti..c.m
Blackheailt. barber' ! llei ! , hear * ,
iltinifM'oHdtr Uarki , Facial He
vrluriinrDtHuDkenChecka. etc. Coo
( ullatlon free at nrncn or by letter. 1H
rase bonk on all rkln anil tcalii arfrctlotiiaud ttiflr
trratmrntienttraledtoanr a < lnr * forlucti.
tlOIIV II. AVOODItUltV , DerilllltcilniillU
13.1 MV * ! 4ait HI. . * rw "Yol-k 'llv.
I \Vl ( > l > UUlY > n > 'A ' 1AI. M > .Vi * tin1 1 ol
| SklnilnilMriili.n | < llrwiittlor by mil , ftp mill !
Btieiuiuu iAB CHSHIOXI
fc. H tlMuill , . Coorrt Uj.
FOR SALE IN
4a
HASE
Booksellers , Stationers , Engravers and Printers
NO EXPERIMENTS ! S HHEOSATE STRENGTH ! T
THE SJE CiROOT
\
GENERATOR
Is something absolutely new in medicine , a perfect llttln womler , performing cures In the most
obstinate cases ol Lout or FnllhiR Pimar-riervous Doblllly , Atroi > liy of tlm pnrti , ntc. ,
wltbout trouble or attention on tnc part 01 the person using It. It is eoplnln und rlrnplc In Its
construction tint anyone can apply it. Its effects are almost instantaneous , uud llie good results
go on Increasing from day to day.
HKLAPSES AUK NOT J'OSSini.E becnnto It retains Its power for jcnri , nml nn > on
fcclliiK the tilinhtcst < ikn > ' 3 can at once apply it and quickly cut bhort any evil tendency' and
restore the parti to full health and strength. ,
IN LOST OR For men , who feel that their virile strength is decreasing , this elect rl-
PA 11 ll\lf * Pn\l/PR cnl marvc' ' ' * uncqunlcj. Reaching , PS It doci , tlio\ery fountain ol
rMIUIIMia run&n manly vigor , It teen restores the local nerves nml iiiiurlon lo full
power. No matter how many times jou may Imvc failed heretofore , you uiuy viupluy this Httla
Instrument with the certainty ol success.
IN EXHAUSTION Tllc constnnt current of gnhanUm ( lowing directly thrniiRh th
MPR\/nilC nmil ITVFTC nerves affected , stimulates anil fltrenglhonH themnnd by ic-
tME.r\vuuo ULDILI I I t- storing contractile power to the seminal tcelrlcs and ducts ,
prevents the constant drain nnd flow of vital fluid which so weakens and destroys.
IKI Ql AhftPD HKC AQE Tersons having Inflammation of Ihn Illaddcr. Painful Urlna-
111 DLnUULlX UIOLMOkO lion , Oravtl , Knlnrged Prostnto aland , nml llku li > order ,
Bhoiild ne\er gl e tip hope until they have tested the Hrccncrator. Its ncllon InsutU coin-
I Hlnls Is marvelous , as the many tesllmonlals In our possesMon > ery plainly uo\v. ,
VAniCOCELE cured easily and painlessly by our new method.
IN HEADACHES , NEURALGIA , SCIATICA , RHEUMATISM , and all pnlnlul Norvoim Af.
fcrllon , tbe Kcntlo current \\lilcli lions from the llcgoiicrntor U truly a natnial n nii-dj- .
It is easily applied to any afTectcil part , and Its results ore almost Instantaneous.
THE REGENERATOR RECOMMENDS ITSELFI We depend for the extension of nur biulncu
xipoii the reconimondationsof guileful nnd plpmcd patlcntiwho liavo ns-ed the lU-Ri-nriatnr
and arci willing to acknowlfdRO Its merits. SEND 8S and get ono of these little Medical Murvols.
nna 11 It Is not exactly ns represented , von ran hn\o jnur money back , for wo onn nl njs IliKl
Plun y of customers. MEN OTHERWISE SOUND who Hnd their power lost or declining , will
llnd In this appliance a most useful nnd worthy lltll Instrument , nnd it will prove of the Kreatcst
value to nil who are weak , nervous or debilitated. BtfWo ntiiulier unions mi r patrons mid
patients Doctors. T.awvor.i. .Tiiilcon , Ciiucri-smnon , Olprcvnion , Dnnkern and Mer
chants. SENT POST-PAiD. SECURELY SEALED , UPON RECEIPT OF PRICE , M. * Tull
Iloscrlptlio Circular Fit 1C H on application.
THE DECROOT ELECTRIC COIVPANY,66 ! Liberty St. , NEW YORK-
DENTAL PLATE.V
V-
A WONDERFUL. INVENTION for those compelled to wenr
artificial teeth. No mor ? feeling that your mouth Is too full , 01 *
being embarrassed while talking or singing on account of a thlclc
clumsy plate.
"We are now making a vulcanite plate known to the dentnl pro
fession as the MORRIS1 THIN ELASTIC DENTAL , PLATE , ns thin
ns paper , elastic as whalebone , and tough as leather , of uniform
thickness all ever the roof of the plate , the ridges 01-"irregularities of
the roof of the mouth appearing on the tongue side of the plme ,
making a natural feeling to the tongue. You can talk ns well with
such a platens if your natural teeth were all in. Just what publlo
speakers and singers should have. The cost of making these plates
Is but a trifle more than the visual rubber plates. Call on
Dr. Bailey , The Dentist ,
AND EXAMINE SPECIMENS. "
OFFICE ; PAXTON BLOCK , OMAHA.
NO OUFmT NO F Y.
Dr.DOWNS
1316 Douglas Street , Omaha , Neb.
FOTCntcen jrenri' experience. A rozular graduate In muitlclno , nullplomii slioir. Ii itllleittrlir/wltli
tlio Krrateit mccesi all Nervout.Chronln nna I'rlrnto illtatioi. A iJtirunnunt euro KiurnnlniM forUitirrli ,
Hpornittarrhira , I < aitMnnboo < i , hamlnal Wetknew. Nl ht J.OIJHI , Imiitiluucr. Hrphlll * HIrletiirD , nmtal I
Dlicaseior tno lllood. Hkln nnd Urliurr Or ni. N. II. I KiiurantuolWJ furororf oi a I uniltrtakinnj fil I
to euro. Coniul'Atlvo froo. llook ( Miurloi ofl.lfo ) soiit fro * Onico baurj Va. ui. tw u 11. iu.
u. in. to 12 m.
FRENCH SPECIFIC.
A POSITIVE tndperm n nt CURE lor all
dlMai..ofiV.UmN ARY ORGANS. Cufej
where QlhtrtreaTmenlialU.Fulldireclionsvrllhcacri
bottle. Prlct , on dollar , Set tlgnilureol E. U
5TAHL For Sale By All Druggists.
MANHOOD