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PART THREE THE OMAHA ( SUNDAY BEE PAGES 17-20 * l
TWENTIETH YEA3 ? . OMAJLA , SUNDAY a , A.TTGUST 31 , ISDO-TWEOTY P-AGES , ITDMBXB 74. *
-TO BE HELD AT THE-
From Sept. 22nd to
I ROM 1O:3O : A. M.TO 1O:3O : . M ,
"be open , not only to local merchants and manufacturers , but as its name implies , to
all exhibitors from abroad as well ,
it is to be no catch-penny affair , but a collossal exhibition of every product of this part of the world , arranged with a taste that will display.
them to the best possible advantage ; an exhibition that will not only reflect credit upon our growing and prosperous city , hut prove an advertise
ment of our manufactures and business houses of incalulahle benefit. The diagram of tlie building has been so perfected that tlie representatives o {
each special branch will have an equal showing , without too much similarity in the displays. Grand afternoon and evening concerts and otheil
meritorious attractions are now being booked which \vill afford the most pleasing entertainment to all visitors , and render the exposition a resort that
will repay repeated visits. ,
Applications for Space Should Be Made at Once , as It Is Being Rapidly Taken
All Applications Should Be Made to
THE INTER-STATE EXPOSITION . .HEADQUARTERS _ ,
" - " - * rX J
CHAS. J. BELL , MANAGERS M. L. ROEDER.
Russia Said to be Responsible for the
Provocations.
OSCAR X. STRAUS'ON THE SITUATION ,
bnctorlns ? fqws 'to Suit Political Pur-
- VposcsTlio Future of Turkey
| ' from the Stntidpoliit of
" " a. Diplomat.
ISO by Frank O. Carpenter. ]
SAHATOCU , AuBust 30.-Special [ to Tun
BKC. ] The .latest dispatches from LonUoa
Etato that the troubles In Turkish Aimcnia
nro increasing- , and the sultau Is beintj denounced -
nouncod for not putting a stop to the so-called
massacres of Christians. The whole blame Is
laid at the feet of the suhllmo porte , and the
true inwardness of the outrages arc unknown
to the imbll'c The truth is that they are In
cited nnd fomented hy Russia , and the proba
bility is that they are tlio advance guards of
n series of provocations , which will ultimately
result In a war betucca Russia and Turkey ,
nnd for which Russia ia now seeking , a pro-
text.
Amcrlcam diplomat has ever held a
-jani-o cotiiiilentlal relation .to his colleagues
to the power to which lie was sent than
cur late minister to- Turkey , Mr. Oscar L.
Straus. Jlr. Straus wa ? ouo of tlio closest
friends of the sultan'duriug his four years in
Constantinople. Ho entertained magnificently
at his house In Pcra , and ho became at
the tauio time very popular with his
"trothcr diplomats. Wealthy and culturcdho ,
was offered and toot the opportunities of his
position to got a thorough knowledge of the
great eastern questions , and thcro is no man
In , Aiacrlca who hotter knows tlio Inside
nfov'cincms of the rurojican iwwcrs in regard
to i'oi ' fey than Uo-
I uaot JfKStruus hero today and had
1 orK talk with * hiin-upon tbo Turkish sltua
UonV\ ' ' *
"Tho country of Jhq Armenians , " said ho ,
"lies In the northeastern comer of the Turk
ish cmplro In Asia , They hnvo one of the
oldest Ill-ids iu tlio world. Mount Ararat Is
knposod to bo In It , and they claim , whether
ly or not , to have the original slto of thi
garden of Eden. They are much In thesami
condition as 1'olanJ and have hccn partitioned
about under the warring nations. Uusshi
has taken a bllco of her tcrrltorj- and wants
more. Turkorriarn""sllcc , , and another part
belongs to I'crsm.
"What is the populatioa of the lands 1" said
I. 'That I can't hay offhaud , " replied .Mtn-
IsturStraus ; "but there are between two
and three millions of Aniienians in the
Turkish cmpiro nnd between four and flvo
millions of them In the vorld. They are a
very shrewd , quick-witted race nnd In many
respects they may ho compared to the Jews.
They are a people held together by religion ,
by traditions and by'raco prejudices mid they
nro to a large extent a people without n
country. Most of the Turkish emigrants to
Artiericu are Armenians. They nro the
tiiiev cnangcrs nnd bankers of the far cast ,
y'tf'lhn.y dp business all through tlio levant.
1 . v\nro pushing and iirogrcislvo. and thov
o Hhlu tlifli limitations one of tlio bright-
v t business people ortUo world today.
TUB UL'tTJkK AM ) T11K AHWE.VlAN * .
"Tho sultan rccognlics the ahillty of the
Aruionlnns , " ox-Mlnistcr Straus vent on.
"Ho euiployi them largely in his public
catcea. Most all of the under secretaries of
Vcrlous government departments am Armen
ians , nnd until recently the minister of
llnanccAgop , was an Armenian , and the
under secretary of state , Moustachaa , was of
the same race. These Armenians are all
Christians , but they are all of different sects.
They have their own patriarchs and their
own ceremonies of worship. As to tlieir re
ligion tbo government of Turkey has always
treated them well. In Turkey freedom of
worship has always hcen" recognized and
conceded to all such sects. This has been
so slnco the fall of Constantinople , in 14YJ ,
and this freedom is In striking contrast with
the intolerance of Russia , who even at the
present day docs not concede that to the
dissenting sects within ler ) empire. The fait
is that the Armenians of Turkey , notwith
standing considerable misrule , are tod.iy en-
eying more liberty than the Armenians of
Russia. "
KUS9HX3 UNDCKIIDED MnTllorH.
"But how about the foreign telegrams.
Thcsotella different stor/1" ' '
"Yes , " said Mr. Straus , "but these reports
are undoubtedly exaggerated , and much of
the Husso-Turkish news that reaches the outside -
side world Is doctored to suit the political
purposes of chiefly Russia or of the malcon
tents of other nations wherever it may bo.
Both the Crlncau war and the Russo-Tur-
klsh war of is and 1S7S wcro begun by Rus
sia under the pretense of protecting the
Christian subjects of the sulUn. This is the
high and holy "shibboleth" of uhich Russia
avails herself to cloak her greed for
territory in the orient. She be
gan the war of IS'S by sending her
agents into Turkey to stir np the Christian
population. She is doing the same thing in
Turxlsh Armenia today , nnd a careful inves
tigation of these outrages wnlch are reported
In the papers will show that Russia's hand is
pulling the wires which are at the real root
of the trouble. I don't mean to deny that
there is considerable inisrulu in the outlying
prwinccs of thoTurkish empire and that this
misrule is accentuated in such provinces as
Turkish Armenia chiefly known as the vll-
Invet of Van. This , however , is not to bo at
tributed to any intention on the part of the
'
suit-in or tho' sublime porto to oppress the
Armenians , but it Is a result of a iuclfof sys
tematic and well regulated government ,
which increases with tbo distance that a
province is from the central government. The
sultau does every thing in hlspoxvcr tooorivct
such misrule , but his efforts nro not always
seconded by the officials that surround him.
That bis intentions are the beat , and that his
purpose is to put such intentions into execu
tion , cnn bo gathered from the fact that
within the past few days ho lib appointed
a committee of the most prominent Ar
menian officials of tbo empire , Includ
ing the Into minister of llnanw and
ilto under secretary of state to devise means
for the better government and that portion of
Turkey inhabited by Armenians. I know
from my own knowledge and from the va
rious conversations I have Iind with the
sultan that ho Is a tnan of peace , nnd the
purpose nearest his heart is to rule in such a
way as to satisfy the various elements of the
enimro. This is not only In tlio line of his
ixjllcy , hut it accords with the estimate and
make of his character and disposition. " .
"Has the sultan ever shown any desire to
quiet tbi-so disturbances and to protect these
elemental1'
"Ho has repeatedly , " replied Mr , Straus.
"HoliaschurRed the governors-general again
and again when It hiu apjimred that sui-h
gocrnorsero not properly noticing his
Christian subject * . This has been done in
the line of his policy to maintain ] > caco in hfs
cmplie. "
M ) SIUEIIU IK Tl'HKEV.
"How as tottioprlsousi" I asked.
The prisons In orlenttil countries are like
the streets in oriental countries , in a vcrj
primitive an J "bad condition. The Turkish
Jails are not so bad as these In Hussia. Thcro
is no Siberia In Turkey and there Is no ad
inioistnitlvo process in Turkey by which , un
board , thousands are scut to a hell worse
ban that described by Dantcs. I mean SI-
jeria.
"As one of the best illustrations of the
dndheaitfcdness of the sultan , " continued
Mr. Straus , "not a single person has been
executed during his rclgn. In Turkey all
executions lm\o to li.-ne his sanction. Ho
lias repeatedly refused it , and ho commutes
the sentences of the worst of criminals to rot
exceeding fifteen years Imprisonment. Hols
a very humane man , nnd this Is evidenced by
the fact that whenever there Is a famine or
any distress in his empire hearways sends a
considerable sum from Us own private purse
to the sufferers. As an evidence of his kind
ness of heart at the time of tne Johnstown
disaster , I had an audience with him on some
diplomatic matters He expressed his sorrow
at Iho trouble of our citlions , nnd bejrged to
bo allowed to give a small sum to aid iu their
relief. The next day he sent mo 300. orl ,000 ,
nnd I believe ho is the only noniuchwho ex
tended ST mpatby to us at that time in sueli a
substantial manner. "
AS A SUX OF A1IIL1TT.
"Isthesultim a man of ability ! " "In the
first plnco the sultan , " replied Mr. Straus ,
"probably expends more c.irc , anxiety , time
and attention upon his duties , as the ruler of
the empire , than any other monarch of Eu
rope. Ho is indefatigable , and Ills ministers
ore frequently summoned to the ) palace at
midnight , to confer with him upon some ques
tion of state , All important matters pass
under his hand. His tendency is to assume
power nnd work to too great an extent ,
rather than too little. Even thing is submit
ted to him , and he gives too little of his work
to subordinutes. Ho tries to Inform himself
upon all subjects , but ho has to rely upon the
information ho receives through the various
channels of tlio goter tnent , "
THE fet'LTAN AS A H kN.
1 "Tell mo how the sultan looks. " "Tho sul
tan is a man about forty-ciht | years of age , "
replied our cx-rninlster to Turkey , "and he
looks very much like Jay Gould. Ho has a
pule complextlon and bluek beard and inous-
tacue , ano jet black Mir. He is of an ex
tremely modest appearance , and bespeaks
only the Turkish tongue. In a slow , deliberate
manner , and in a quiet subdued tone. Ho
has a mild and pleasant "eye , and to places
these whom he likes at their Immediate ease.
His manners , ivhilo reserved , are kind and
cordial. Ho Is eminently a man of peace , nnu
If n war breaks out between Russia and Tur
key , the provocation \\ttl bo on the Russian
side ,
THE FUTL'IIK OP 71'UKEf.
"What Is the future of Turkey" ' "That
touches the keynote of the cistern question.
and depends upon the game that Is being
plnjcd upon the chessboard of the European
balance of i > o\vcr. \ What Turkey .especially
needs a thorough reconstruction of Its
flnancem with a view of developing her mater
ial resources , Slio needs a decided reform in
the methods of the imposition nnd collection
of taxes , Shohnsmado wonderful progress
in the administration of Justice Inthe'last
twenty )0iirs , by which I do not mean to Im
ply thai thcro is not room for considerable
greater improvement. t > ho has also affected
grvat Improvement in education umliutho
establishment of male and feimilo > cbools ,
throughout the empire. The present sultau
basdonoovcr.vthlng to stimulate education.
and has himself founded a number of simlul
schools. In short , education Is liberally en
couraged. Tills Is In strong cunt rust to the
nttltudoof the Russian government towards
culture. In the latter country the power of
the government tsboiugused to Interdict and
repress education , "
It VAlt CO1ICS.
"What would bo the result of a war be
tween Turkey and Russia1
"Of course Russia is the strongest. She
could put flvo men In the field to Turkey's
one , and her financial affairs arj la a bettor
shape , but the Turklsli army has new been
iu to good a condition as it Is today , Tbo
Turkish soldier Is n remarkable fighter , cap
able of a wonderful wuTurance , and the
Turkish soldier * hate in all' , times been re
nowned for their courage. Their fatalism
makes them strangers to fear. They hnvo
within the last seven or"clght " years been
drilled according to the German methods ,
under the supervision prlqcipally of German
oflicers. some five or six of Hvnom now hold
the rank of general or pasha ia thcjirniv. If
Turkey should got into a war she will doubt
less give Europe a surprise uy the eulclency
and organization of her nrm * . Slio has re
cently also rehibitatcd her navy , and has
had a number of new cruisers built. "
"Then tbo sick imn is getting veil ? "
"The so-called sick man , -which I think is n
decided misnomer , " replied Mr. Straus , "ii
not prowlng veaker , but is improving and
( mining strength. But llussia and the small
Balkan states nre improving their material
resouicesmuch rnoro rapidly , and the com
parison oJ the two Is not a ffatr one. Turkey
has made i steady progres 4a culture ana in
the development of her material resources ,
but she has not a. fair chpmce toirrow , and
she has not had , since tlo bSyinnlng of this
century. If she could he let alone she would
work outher own destiny along the lines of
her civilization , and she would _ , 1 am sure.
develop the hiphest possibilities other land
and tor people , " PIUNK 0.
Dr , Blrncy cures cntarrji , Bee bldff.
Xo Ujvpcrs for Him ,
Kcw "York Sun. "TVuvol never sharp
ens , rotno people , "SaiQ the drumrnijr , as
he threw the stub of his cigar out of tlio
window.
"In what respect ? "
"Well , I'vo been onthorondforeiprM
years , traveling by day 'and by nifjht ,
and I'vo ne\er \ hud'tcr take tin upper
"
berlhyet. " *
" ' " '
"That's luck.
"Xo , it isn't Its .manajfement. I. of
course , luy n lo or bt rtl > - vhen I can.
When I can't I take an upper. Pilco Is
the same , you know , by t there's aheap
of difference in the , comfort. Then tlio
innnnyeraent comes In , ' *
"Hut howP
"See this bottle of , camphor ? I car-
rledlt over since L first btartod out , but
hnvo hud it refilled boutpncoa month.
When I get seated in the car I suddenly
take faint and pull out ji > j camphor bof-
bottle. You can e moll caniphor from end
to end of a car. It i6n'tt\ro minutes be
fore borao one cames'to jtsk :
" 'Anjthing' ' wrong , sir ?
" 'I'm feelingvorvbadly. . ' -
41 'Can 1 do anjthinij for you ? '
' "Xo.thnnks. Thit li - '
" 'Don't bo afraid ol making mo
rouble. What is I tV. '
' "I have an upper forth , and I'm I'm
afraid I can ne\er get' Into It. Been
troubled with palpitation for the last ten
ye rs. Reaching uplncr ihcs it. Idon't '
want t'o ask anyone , to exchange with
me. but - ' ,
( ' butVny , certainly , I hnvo a lower , and
under the circuinbtari'dP ; I shall bo only
too clad to cxehimii $ with you '
"That's nil tlioro i Ho it , " said the
drummer , ns ho oiKntfil us grip for a
noMil ; "It'n nil in the inanagoment. A
nroiKjr iloinenno'- li tlb camphor a
lev woids o [ thunks , arvl 1 snug uwny
into a lower und bleep < the bleep of the
just. Iho other man hux'got all ho paid
for , nnivay , nnd If ho dU&n't bleep well
thnt'8 not mv look otit. ]
] ) r. Uirney cures caturih , Eao Wdy.
If you flnd Indications of malarja In vour
system take at once Ur J 11 Mc-I.can's chills
and fever cure. It will agreeably and effec
tually eridlcato the ] > olson frotn jour system-
M cents per bottle ; warranted.
Jr. ) Ulrney cures catarrh , 13eo
SOME HAPPY LITTLE HITS ,
Stray Shots at the Humorous Phases of
Our Daily Lives ,
WOMAN AND THE SLIPPERY BANANA ,
I'jty Her Because Slio Cim't Siear
A I'rlcnd of -Tavpnjer-Driijr
Store Prices-Obeyed
( lie
A Scotchman \vho \ hud been
employed nearly nil Its life in the buildup of
railways in the Highlands of Scotland came
to the united States in the lait years of his
life and settled on the plains of the far west.
Soon after his arrival a. project cano upln bis
new liomo for the construction of a railroad
through tlie district , and the Scotchman was
applied to as a man of experience in such
natters.
"Hoot , ram ! " said ho to the spokesman of
the scheme , "yccunna balld a r'lway across
this kentry ! "
"Why not , TUr. Ferguson ? "
"Why not I" ho related with an air of set
tling the -\\holo \ \ matter. "Why not ? And
tlinnnyo see tlio Iceutry's asflutas aflure ,
end ye haM ! iiaw place vihateier to run vour
wounds through _
A 1'ortiiiic.
Arkansas Traveller : "Therois a fortune In
this novel , " said an author , as he presented a
manuscript to n publisher.
"I don't know about that , " the publisher
responded , "Is its merits BO striking as to
attract attention everywhere } "
"O , It has no merit particularly. "
"Thrilling I suppose * "
"No , I can't say that it Is. "
"Somethlnfj catlrcly new , then V
"I don' t , think it's o very new. "
"Contains a striking theory , I suppose } "
"No , it las no theory. "
"And yet vou say it will be a great suc
cess I"
"Yes , bound to be. "
"And why sol' '
"Because I havoshovn it to fho postoflico
authorities and they declare that It shall not
t'o through the m.iils , " _
Xnitml Them Alter lite Lord.
Chlmpo Herald : Old I'eto Iloblnsoo , who
lives at WoHuan. Vi. , isn pious ne ro , wlio
jogged alonglthhls \\lfo \ for manyjcars ,
taming a new taby every year , until seven
teen unbleached olive Iramhes bore scrip
tural names. Then eanio a surprise , One
mornlnp the I'resbyterlan minister , while
Ulcing his constitutional , met Pete.
"Good inornlnf , ' . 1'eter , Vou seem to to
very much pleased at something. "
"Yes , sab , I Is. You see , do ole "oraati "
'creased do family las' night. "
"Ah , indeed ! "
' 'Yaas , wu , Jar's two rao' little Iain's ov do
lord , "
"Indeedl And what -will you name theml"
"Givino name 'on both arter duLonl ;
gwinc call 'em Messiah an' Hallouay. "
"Messiah and Ilallowu ) ' ! Whewdoyo get
the name llalloivayl'1
"HI , man ! Don't do Lord's pra'r say :
'JIall\vnybo ) Thy natnol' "
A ( Jooil
A youth at Illddcford , Me , bad an excel
lent cxcuso for tardiness. Thonilsilvuho
bore to the teichcr from his moth or read :
"Plcaso cxcubO Alfred for boiiig late. I'u
had Miad for dinner , "
She Haw Illiii lliroiiKliOno OlnsH.
Jonclon'Vfoklji Arthur Do Gull Old
woman , d'vo Inaw any iiwula jabloyouiiK
country lalie- * suitable ton fclluhllkonef
OinnnySharpe ( with a look of dls approuil
at tboyoimu man's siut''o '
cjcslassjVall ,
Do-aeon Smllej's ' pot a gal the ) say is addled.
She moufc'ht Uko ycr.
The \\ftvcs \ Arcn'l Fresh.
Jester : Mr , Frtcspcadcr-Can you tell
me , dearest , hen * these waves closely resem
ble myself ?
Dearest-No , Arthur ; hovrdo thovl
Mr. Freespender-Wcll , loth the wa es
and Igo Drokeas soon as wo reach the beach.
Do-untrodden Jones.
St. Paul Pioneer Press : Brown ( after
twenty y ars-Whjr , Jones , bless me , how
havejou done In the world ?
Jones Just middling1.
Brown That's somevhat Indefinite ,
Jones Well , I'm too rich to walk , and not
quite rich enough to ride on a pass.
Some lintio.
Pittsbur ? Clironide : "It Is odd that the
ulue of diamonds does not increase In the
ratio of their size , " remarked the snake
editor ,
"How does It increase then J" asliod the
horse editor.
"In the ray show of their brilliancy. "
Ho Obpycil the Sljrtinl.
Maud I'll ' never flirt apain , if I live to bo
A Hundred
Annie W'hj' , dear. What's ' the matter }
Maado Matter * I wiukccl at a bwcet
young druff cleric down town toiiy , and ho
put v his by in my soda.
Itpuollecllon ? .
Mrs Philips-Do you remember , Wester ,
how foolist you used to act when you .first
fell inlovowitth ma !
Mr , Philips-Foolish , why I sometimes
thinlf I must have hoen crazy ,
He OvoiroatliocI II li Inri > oic. ;
Jovelers' Weekly ! Gradyrlnd ( to his em
ployes ) Jfobody but mo ii to touch that
dock Nobody is to begin or leave off work
except as It indicate the time.
Foreman Yes , sir.
Uradfjrlnd ( the next dayVhy ) , the da ? Is
one- fourth ( roue and nolxidy's at norkl What
does this mean !
Foreman ( meekly ) "You forgot to wind
the clock , sir.
I .xcuscil Thin Time ,
bhlcapo N'e-\s : Schoolmistress ( with omin
ous look in her cyo ) What made you so late.
Uobcrt Reed I
Robert-Been flfihtln1 ,
Schoolmistress ( advancing furiously ) You
have , eh J *
Robert Yes , ma'm. A. boy sed ver wuz
nglyas liome madeslnan' , 1 jest gi\o \ itto
him. -
Schoolmistress \VelIBolliy. \ dear , I must
pardoa you this time , but control jour temper
the Ust jou can.
Tvo Views ,
Jeweler'seekly "You '
\\eekly : ne'tcr can tell
what children arc frolng to say neit , " re-
inarVed an experienced mariicxl man.
"Is'o , but you may bo lura they are going to
say iomctliuiK that is eltheruninteresting or
disagreeable , " asserted a sour and discon
tented bachelor.
Iliu U'u iiinjror tlio
Jeweler's Weekly : Croon A ring around
the inoon Is the sign of rain.
Bride (8weetly-A ( d a tint- around „ a
woman's fliiK'tr is the slsn of - 1
Groom ( sadly ) Heigu ,
At the U'lilto Jlouw.
Dry Goods Chronl'-los Caller -"How do
you do , Mr. Presldeat * I um very clad to
spe jou. "
The President "Your face is very futnil-
lar , but I really can't ' place } ou. "
Caller "Ol don't ask you to iilacomo , sir ;
merely called to offer my respects , sir , "
Cliarlty.
rhitaMirtitn Tina.
Llftheruj ) tenderly ,
tTreutliertltU eai-e ,
Thobunana IKH. * ! tripped her
.And you know ho can't twear.
'Jlie AspcritirH ol Delmto.
Life ; l'heSi > eaker ( to tlio frotlonian from
lucllana who bis just called the gentleman
from Illinois an ass ; "Docs the gentleman
from Indiana withdraw the epithet J'1
Tb Gentleman from Indiana " 1 withdraw
'
the language. Mr. Speaker , but maintain
hat the gentleman from Illinois is uot in or- *
ilcr , "
Tbo Gentleman from Illinois "How an y *
out of order 1"
The GiitlenmnfrornIndlana-"Pn !
- > batly q
veterinary surgeon could ttll you. "
An E .
Boston Courier f Photogrtiplier ( to younq
ladjj "Tbero is no uced of telling you tolooll
pleasant , Miss. Such a face cannot bo other *
wisothan pleasant. "
YounRlady ( graciously- " ! will take two
dozen , sir , instead of one dozen. "
Accounted Per ,
Boston Herald : First citizen "That's a
flneturnout JIcHelferls driving now. Cost
him ,500 they say. " ,
Swornl citizen ' You don't say sol How in
the world can ho afford to cut such a Kwclfj
Last sunnier ho was walking oil his up
peril"
First citizen "But to was in the state sen *
ate this year. "
Second citizen "O I"
A. I'ruilciitlloiisovire.
> Vrw York Eecnltiy Sun.
She trusts her diamonds of great rrico
Within the safe diposit vault ;
But 1.11(0 ( at home she keep ? htr ice
Kefngorjtors don't default.
Attho Diino .
Attcntant This nrinless man can
picltup aneolle with his toes.
Disgusted Visitor That's ' nothing. I'vo
of Unpicked up ccrpottncta with my heel.
. A Drain y Hey ,
American Grocer : Chicago teacher Yes ,
corned beef Is one of our most famous ox-
ports. Kow , who can tell mo what stands
nuxtto corned becfl
Boston liMo hey ( triumphantly , ) Cab-
bage.
Terra Haute Impress : Anarchist I tell
you , my friend , lliiujjaare going to cotnoto a
focus in this country lforo very lonp. The
taxp ty en arc not ( joi ug to stand tin ) oppres
sion much longer.
Listener Do you pay the tnxesl i
Anarchist-Ox course I don't , tinj I never
will. And tint shows that my Interest In the
taxpayers is purely unsc-Hlsli , doesn't it.
Drtis Store Triers.
New York Sun ; Customer-Give mo 10
cents worth of parcgorlL' , please ,
ErUKKlst Ves , sir.
Customer ( absent nindedly ) How much
Druggist A quarter.
Two leH | > cr lo CrliiilnaN.
American Grocer : Slufrgfrs rhcro ROCS a
fellow line possesbcs every klnU of vice.
Ilo's a car | > ciiUsr.
Swirt-Ahl but ho has Just passed aman
wlifjo ' hands nre literally iteejod la blood.
He's ourbuUher ,
Dlrncy euros htiy fovcr. Hoc lldg- .
An
A tramp wlio- inUlloctual cnllbor
WIM fur aboto his profo slonwaa recently
found t Bnngor , AIo. Ills only bnggugo
wiw a ( .mull hut cliolto tolloctlon ol
"
boo"ks , Including Joan Jacques Ho\ia-
MSSIU'B "ConfoHslons , " worlc of LJal ic and
Dumii8ti , , copy of Sluikcsputiro , and the
Iliad. o
] ) r. Dlrncy cures hay lover. Dee lldg1.
IJcutli In llor Sleep.
. John GjirroO of Leonl , 1'a. , bled
lofloathln lior blcop Iho other nlpht.
IJor condition was not Itnown byjior
hubband until lie VUB awukoncd l > y the
blood which was lluwliif , ' from her log ,
Tlio veins liad broken by the force oltho
lifo c-urrent , and Bhovis dead In fifteen
minutes ,
Dr. Dlrooy cures buy fovcp. Uco