THE OMAHA DAILY SEE : SUNDAYRDECEMBER 20 , 1889-SIXTEEN PAGES Lit ) M
I FROM A SOCIAL STANDPOINT
H A Ooutlioru Lady Dlscussos thom
m Ostracism of Mr Cable
H MADE OUT OF DIFFERENT CLAY
K She 11HiikH Providence tins l'"t an
HI Kxtornnl Veto on tlm Mini : *
HJ line or the White and
Hj lllnci Ilacc
HI Mr Cnblo null tlio Nrsro ,
Hj Lincoln , Neb , Doc 27. To the
H Editor ot TUB liKK ! In the SUNDAY
H Bin : I notlco nn editorial bonded
M ' Southern Projudlco , ' . ' In which the
HI writer criticises the Atlanta Constltu-
HT tlon for predicting the social ostracism
Hn at Mr Oublo on account or his intlmato
Hf association with tlio negro , and charac-
HJ tori'/od the pee pi o of the south , on
HJ immo , as Ignorant , narrow-minded ,
HJ nnd intolerant " Being a native , and
HJ until recently a resident of that bc-
H | nightod region , nnu Having liuu , tuoro-
HJ fore , better opportunities to gain a per
HJ tin mil , ornctlcal knowledge of its sys-
HJ toms mid intollcctual status than ono
HJ who has probably novcr livud in the
HJ south nnd has formed his opinions only
HJ from the hearsay cvidonco of thobo In-
M imicnl to its interests , I dcslro to
HJ prosontn few propositions nnd call his
K3 attention to u tow of his lucousistoti-
BB
BB In the first place , the wrltor in Tub
BB Eiu : appears In the now role of loxico-
BB graphcr , and treats us to a refreshing
BB definition of the word projudlco " Ho
BB says that ' 'projudlco is an index of a
BB narrow , uneducated mind , Incapable of
Hf looking at a question except from ono
BB Btamlpoint , gouerullv un Intensely per
Bfl sonal one , " whllo Mr Webster assures
BB us that projudlco is "un opinion
BB or decision of mind formed
BB without duo ox ami nation ; uro-
BB judgment , otc ' " From which wo
BB sco that the fact of a minds bolug pro
BB judlccd is no cvidonco of a lack of
BB : nullity to judge correctly The most
BB learned and gifted nro often the most
BB intolornntly prejudiced , soTiik Bik's
BB proposition that a prejudiced mind is
BB necessarily an ignorant ono is a false
BB hypothesis An argument based upon
BB such an assumption is like uttompting
BB to prove that a stream is shallow because
HB it Hews in a narrow channel
HB That the pcoplo ot the south are op-
BH posed to tlio social equality of the
BH whites and blacks and will never rocog-
HH nzo t'10 ' c'uims ' of the latter to bo ad-
HH mittod to prlvnto circles on such foot
mm ing , no ono will or wishes to uony up-
HHi position mid projudlco , however , nro
HHtwo entirely different words , and it is
HH' ' possible toopposo a thing on reason
HH able grounds and goncral principles as
HH well as through Belt-interest , narrow
HBj mindeduess and ignorance It Is
HHj' ' notably the brightest minus of tlio
BB ] south , these who have studied the qucs-
HB tion in all its aspects , who realize the
BB > true magnitude of the impending ovii
BB and are sounding the needed warning
BH , It is presumable that these who have
HH lived in the south nnd nro thoroughly
BH1 acquainted with the habits , tastes ,
HE disposition and capabilities of
BBtno l'ftcoi nro * n a better posl-
BB | t' ' ° " to observe , invostlgato und
BHr * " iirrivo at a proper understanding
BH of the subject , than the spoculatlvo
HH theorist of the north , who has as little
HH practical kuowlodgc of the negro , as ho
HH really exists , as a child has of the hip
BB ] popolamus u.Itor looking at ono through
BH the cage bars of a traveling monagorlo
HH If there is projudlco at all on either
HHJ , side , facts and rotison would go to prove
HH tliat " • ls ° " t'10 ' B' ' ° ot tno onllghtonod
HHJ north rather than of the ignorant
HH
HHj 1"Jll : Dli ; S-ys : God made and can
HHJ tolerate the colored race , but the odi-
HHJ t01'8 ° 't'10 ' Constitution cannot tolerate
HHfi n white ncrsou who takes dinner with
BBf n negro " Yes , God mudo the negro
HHt and can tolerate him Ho made the
BBr chimpanzee and gorilla nlso , and can
BBl tolerate thorn Not that I would insult
HHj our ° bon brother by a comparison so of-
HHj fonsivo I simply follow The Bkk's ex-
BBe ' ample and go a long way for an illustra-
HHl tlon God raado the colored race but
HHJ - ' * ° tnEL-0 • t ns * t * B * soparnto and dls-
HHJ tinct and altogether dlltoront from the
BBf white , just as ho made ono Htar to dlf-
HHJ for Irom another in glory , gems to dif
HHJ * or * n lu9101" ' Hewers , in beauty , animals
BBt1 iu form nn intolllgonco , and so on ad
BBl inllnitum Ho has mudo dilToront or-
BBm ors nn grades of creation , in
BBl every kingdom , family and , species ;
BB | aill in tllis instance , to guard
BBft against any possible mlstuko , in mixing
HBt * the original clay , ho took1 the precuu-
BB * ' 'tlon to give it a dilToront hue so that
BBT there could be no possible danger of
BBl getting the parcels mixed Tllli Bku
BBb acts uponlio presumption that this pro
BHk cos" was accidental and is trying to cir
B cumvont the desicrns of the Aluiicrhtv
BBH 'l0 ' ' " ct 'a' ' there is no question of tel
BBff oration in it Everything is right and
BBft pronor In its place The African is as
BBl much a distinct branch of the human
BBB race , as much a part of the great whole
BBB . in the sum of aroatod things , us the
BBB American , Arctic , Australian , Mon
BBh - * golInn or Caucasian Ho is doubtless a
BBB * 'n'c' ' ' ' " tuo cain ot progressiva ovolu-
BBB tlon ; is happy , useful and accoptublo in
m ills purticulur sphere tint nature has
BBB jlrawn a line of demurkatlon between
BBH' * , u0 African and Caucasinn races , and
BBB * q H0C''il ' gulf that separates the two
BBh * tln uovor ° spanned until science
HHk proves , that , as a race , the former Is in
HHS every respect the equal of the latter
HHb When the north demonstrates this fact
BHK the south will lay usldo its ignorance
HH | o narrow-mindodnossand projudlco , " and
HHk fall a willing convert to the now faith
HHr ' ln : K , : roors t0 the Constitutions
HHr criticism ot Mr Cable as "a tyrannous
HH1 * social proludlco , " and claims that o vary
Hf individual is entitled to his likes and
HH1 dislikes and to oxorclso his own plcns-
Hi uro * n the oholco ot his associates This
HHf ; * B cxnctlv what the people of the south
HHr think , but This Bun is ovldontly not
HHj willing to allow thorn this privilege ,
j slnco it would cutnpol them to open their
HHJ doors to an alien race , with whom they
HHl 3mVQ nothing in common , and which
HH threatens the very foundation stones ot
HH their social fabric I fail to boo how it
HH is nny inoro tyrannous for the Constl-
HH tutinn to dlctato the social rohitlons ot
HH Mr > Cable , a nubllu man and a ropro-
Bontativo Bouthorner , than for the pee
B plo ot the north to dlctato to the south
] in matters of u similar prlvato and per
BHj eolal , nature II it is madness to ox-
HHl cludo a man because ho mingles in
; other circles than these befitting his
birth und station , thou the entire world
in all lands and at all times , has boon
and is still in the straight jacket of so-
clal luimoy , since it bus boon the cus-
torn and practice ot nil civilized people
from time immemorial And if it is
' madness , there is method in it In the
[ business world wo see the world , nnd
, BB , neot the world on a worldly footing ; but
in our social intercourse wo want
Bl J0n ° " , llUti' ' ' "tlmaoy and friendship
\yhlIo the man who loaves a beaten path
pf rocognlzod rospocuibllity for the
i BH hlghwajs and byways of doubtful nsso-
[ clutions , may bo iu liimsolf every way
HBi
nccoplablo , hli former friends who do
not shnro his erratic prodlloctions nnd
to whom such socloty would bo neither
profltablo nor agreeable , naturally
nvoid IiIb prcsonco for fonr of being
drawn into uncongenial company This
Is the right of every individual as well
as of every community
"So wo of the north " continues our
generous nnd self-constituted guardian ,
should not blnmo the present genera
tion so much as wo should help to en
lighten it " This is cheerful indeed
In the north the colored portion of the
population is only a drop In the occnu
us compared with the south In a town
of 8,01)0 ) or 4,000 , in habitants here there
nro rnroly ever fifty porson9 who have
in tholr veins the taint oi negro blood
nnd the majority of these having moro
of the Caucasian than tlio African , and
having enjoyed superior advantages ot
education and association with the
whiles , cunnot bo taken ns a fair spcui-
mon of the negro proper , ns ho revels
today In his original stupidity and un-
cleanness Ituuiy southern hnmlotof the
same size they would constltuto at least
11 ftoon hundred or two thousand of the
population Yet Tin : Bui : man would
call upon the north , without oven a possible
siblo acquaintance with the negro , to
oiillghton the south In rognrd to its
tremulant ot a people born and reared
in its bosom and which constitutcsmoro
than half of Its population As well Im
port a Hindoo to America to interpret
the Curjstinn rollglon
While the north may not bo aware of
it , it nevertheless remains a tact , that
its zealous championship of this mon
grel and much magnified race Is due ,
not so much to an advanced civilization
and disinterested humanity , ns to tholr
erstwhile bondngo , which has thrown
around thorn the charm of romantic he
roism and plncod thorn before the world
in the light of martyr3. Supposing , for
cxamplo , that a political war had lifted
from a condition of Blavory and sorvl-
tudo the Chlnoso , " Hindoos or North
American Indians , all of whom uro su
perior intollcctunlly to tlio African
Would the fact of tholr having boon
once used and oppressed by a sot of people
plo with uo longer any right or power
over thornbo , any reaion why they
should bo raised to the piano of social
equality with these who had boon cast
in a finer mould , with loftlorsontlmonts
nnd higher faculties , and capable of fol
lowing broader paths ?
Of the negro as a , slave I know noth
ing , and being a child of the restored
union rather thun of the lost confeder
acy , am not prejudiced in favor ot nnte-
bellum systems On the contrary , I
think the principle of slavery was
wrong and that the south is now suffer
ing from the consequences of her great
and grievous error I do ktiow , how
ever that the negro , until by amalga
mation the African blood in him be
comes cntiroly extinct , can never rise
to the social level of the Caucasian As
ho exists in the south todnv , ho is un
cleanly , shlftloss and improvident
Vtrtnn la In liim n mulh nnil hnnnt * n.n
unknown quantity His social standing
is measured alone by the cut and quality -
'ity of his clothes , and no crime or disgrace -
grace , however flagrant , lowers his
standing with his dusky brethren , so
long as the sounding eloquence of
clothes attests his prosperity and re
spectability That the race is fast bong
merged into the white is a sad admis
sion , yet true And with such an evil
threatening their gates the people of
the south cannot nITord to admit a
wooden horse into tholr social Troy in
the form ot such a precedent us Mr
Cable would establish
Civily , the negro has boon granted
and enjoys unmolested all the rights of
free borii Amoricnn citUons Ho shares
the undisputed liberty of the stooping
car and the passenger coaoh Ho may
nttond thu public theater and stop at
public hotels But it is noticeable
that In select circlcsallko 1ft the north ,
south , east and west , the African is
rigorously excluded Asa case in point ,
I see that a banquet was given last
wuok in Chicago in honor of Mr Rose
water , and that the occcnsion was
graced by the presence of no loss a per
snnago than his frlond Mow Patti
Nicollni Among other conspicuous
features of the ontortaininont was the
absence of any colored guests among
that distinguished company
Is this proiudico' i" No An African
is as much out of placp in the select
circles of the Caucasian as a jackdaw
in a Hook of peacocks No ono questions
the right of the negro to mlnglo in
society provided ho Is wnnted thorobut
what a stir there would bo in northern
social circles were there issued a royul
edict proclaiming that negroes should
nttond private gatherings and partici
pate in their plonsures
I picture abrllliantassomblngo.whoro
the beauty and wealth and talent of the
city nro gathered for amusement and
recreation I boo THBBmman , who
criticises the Constitution , entering at
• a Into hour bearing on his arm the
voluptuous weight of a dusky maiden ,
some of whoso ancestors were * born in
Africa " No ono would questloti his
right to cheese ljis own companion , but
I venture to bollovo that the rest of the
company wnuld question the proprloty
of inviting him into that circle again
Mks At Faiiuikothek
nuiiioious
A congress of Christians will bo held in
Boston , December 31 and 22 , to consider the
relation of the secret ledge s.vstom to civil
liberty and the Christian rollplon ;
Tha Rev Charles E. Stowe , son ot Harriet
riot Ueocber Stowo tius resIgned his posi
tion i > s pastor of Winilso avenue Caneroga-
tlnnnl phiiri h Hartford Hariri . on nnrnnnfc
or ill health
A. mission school ls to ba established by
Rev 13. W. Kelly , of Mwidalav , Uarma , on
the very spot whore Dr Adonlram Judson ,
the ilrst missionary from America , suffered
the cruel imprisonment , at Ounpponla
Baptist proRreis in Swojen Is one of the
remarkable religious movements of the
prosonc tlmo Hovivnls nro constant In
twenty yours the number f church members
has advanced from 7,009 to u3,3 ( & The bap
tisms In 1833 were 2,890.
A Hindoo crontlomati has called a concross
of Brahman priests and learned mon for the
uurposo of incorporating the bible nmong the
sacred books oMnilia * and offlciallv roeoj 'nlz-
Ini : Christ as the last and spiritual creator ,
or Incarnat'on ' of Urahm , the supreme deity ,
The smallest and daintiest prayer boolc in
world Is the "Finpor Prnyor Book , " which
lias just been issued by the Oxford Universi
ty Press It Is printed in diamond and bril
liant typo on the famous India pupor Itcou-
tains slxtv-soven pages , monsurcs throe and
one half by ono inches , and weighs only three
quarters of an ounce
'
There are ton proutlla ohurchos In Salt
Lake of the leading denominations The
Methodists , the Presbyterians , the Baptists
and the ConerogatinnohsU through the
Now West Educational association all
have mission schools , the Methodist being
a boarding school Hammond hall , the gift
of Charles ( J. Hammond of Chicago Is the
oldest school of the Now West , which bos
besides It two or thrco ward schools Tbcio
various mission schools seem to bo full
By the will of the lata J. Warren Miller of
Cambridge , Mass , the American Baptist
missionary union gets { 50,000 ; the American
Uaptltt homo mission society gets$3,600 ; the
American Baptist publication society , 110-
000 ; Colby university $10,000 ; Newton theo
logical institution , tJO.000 ; conference of
Baptist ministers $10,000 ; Massachntts Bap
tist convention , (5,000 ; trustees of thu Daniel
White charity , (5,000 ; Urown university ,
$10,000 ; Vassar college , $10,000.
- m
Three mon and ono surveyor laid out
the largest purt of Manhattan Island in
1813.
Cozzons hotel , 31.50 and 32.00 per day
IHSSTORIESWERECilESTNUTS
A 'WoQtorn Girls Funny Bxporlonoo
With Ohnuncoy Dopow
THE LIMP MAN IN THE CORNER
Uo Was Handy With Ills KnlTo nmt
Henry Clay Admired Itlin RilUun
Snubbed the ftltsniuon Brown
I UK nnd Vlctorln
Current Anecdotes
Ohnuncoy Dopow tolls so many good
storiC3 on ether people that there Is
general rejoicing when some Ouo man
ages to have the laugh on him , and the
clubmen nro tolling oaoh ether with
much unction the following llttlo tale ,
says the Brooklyn Eagle : It is not per
hops a secret that our Chnuncov is , llko
Mrs Gilpin , of a frugal mind , and is
thrifty with his stories and jokes After
the press has once gotten hold of his
good things ho never uses them again ,
at least in that particular community ;
but no man can have a whole sot of
brand-now brilliants every duy of his
llfo , and a little discretion nnd a good
niomory will nuiko ones Btoro go a long
way without bolug guilty of repetitions
to the same nudlcnco But the discre
tion of even Chauncoy is nt fault at
times , and the ether night ho suffered
because ot it The daughter of a cer
tain famous American who hashlthorto
niado Ins homo in the west has been
vistlng in Now York and was ono of the
guests at a dinner of very distinguished
men and women last week She i3 n
woman accustomed to the Intellectual
best of the men who go in to dinner
with her , nnd on this occasion she re
garded with some surprlso the efforts of
the man who had taken her in to dinner
to amuse her Ho looked like a person
of ability , but she gradually galnod the
impression that ho was laboring under
the delusion she was a wild westerner
who was many years behind the times
and had not heard any modern jests
Who n this idea became firmly rooted in
her mind she was at no further pains to
conceal her indifference to his ell orts ,
and at last in dispalv her dinner com
panion remarked : Miss , wo dent
seem to get on What is the matter ? I
wish you would tell mo frankly " "I
will , " she said , laughing a llttlo.lI am
cross because you have been tolling mo
Chauncoy Dopow's old stories all the
evening I dent know him myself , but
I've heard all his stories over and ever
again , and I dent think I can stand
thom again " Her companion
paused a moment , then shook
all ever with amusement and
delight , and said : Miss , your
frankuoss is simply enchanting , and Ill
confess in my turn I thought you
were a very young girl , and from so far
away iu the wes > t that you were not
likely to have heard these stories , so I
was using old stock on you , but I see
my error , and now I will toll you some
stories of Chauncoy Dopow's that lam
sure you'vo ' not heard " from that
moment the western girl declares that
suoh a stream of brilliant talk , anec
dote and witticism poured forth that
she never noticed what she was eating
and was desperately grieved when the
hostess gave the signal to rlsq and she
was separated from her clever com
panion Going homo iu a cab she sal d
to her father : "Do you know the name
of the man who took mo in to dinner ! '
I didn't catch it , but I found him per
fectly charming " "My dear girl said
her father , you dent deserve your
privileges Of course you found him
charming That was Chauncey Do
pow ! " There was a dreadful silence
from the young woman all the way
homo after that , but she told the whole
story next morning at the breakfast
table with much shatnefaccdnoss , apd
her family found it too good to keep
A correspondent who recently visito d
Jeff Davis at his homo at Beuuvoir re
lates this :
Over on a table was a short , dusty
sword that had been recently sent from
Mexico , and attached to it was a card
which said tnat the weapon had boon
found on the spot where Lioutonnnt
Davis mada his famous charge at the
battle of Buenu Vista and turned the
tide of victory in favor of the Amori-
cans
"I touched the rusty olu sword , and
almost unconsciously Mr Davis drifted
Into talking of the heroes of the Mexi
can war , of Buwio , and Houston , mid
Crockett
" Hoary Clay once told mo , ' said Mr
Davis with a smile , 'of his first mooting
with Bowie It was in the early doys ,
and Clay was travoliug in a stage c6ach
where the only ether pnssongbrs were a
pretty girl , a big , rough looking coun
tryman and a limp llttlo figure In a
great coat With the consciousness of
his own great physique Clay suid ho was
congratulating himself on not being
ing the limp llttlo ilguro bundled
up in the corner , when ho became
conscious that thp pretty girl was bog
ging the rough countryman not to
smoke as it mudo her ill The follow
rnnlind with a Bavnro oath that Via bml
paid his faro and would smoke when ho
< pleased Mr Clay said ho was just
trying to screw his courage up to the
point of remonstrating with the country
giant when the limp llttlo ilguro un
doubted Itself like magio and with a
quick movement reached down its col
lar , brought up a knlfo that in the ox-
citomant of the moment looked a ynrd
long and with another cat-llko niovo-
mont solzed the follow by the throat
Throw that pipe out of the window or
Ill ' I" A comprehensive swoop of the
murdorous-looklng blade ilnlsliod the
sentence und sent the pipe shattering
on the ground In another minute the
knlfo hud again disappeared down the
capacious collar and the limp figure had
resumed its former vortobrmloss condi
tion ; but the rest of the iournoy , " said
Mr Clay , "I Bpont in wishing I was
noiio other than that Bowie with his
famous knlfo "
"If I can free this case from techni
calities and got itproporly swung to the
jury , Ill ' win it , " Abraham Lincoln used
to suy , when contidont of the justlco ot
the cause ho represented Ho was
weak in defending a wrong case , for ho
was montnlly and morally too honest to
oxplaln away the bad points ot a cause
by ingenious sophistry
Instead of attempting to bolster up
suoh a cause , he abandoned it Ouco
ho abandoned a case in open court ,
being convinced that it wis unjust A
less fastidious lawyer took Mr Lincoln's
place , and won the case
Mr Herndon , in his "Llfo of Lin
coln , " tolls a story which exhibits his
ability in gottlhg a case ho believed in
properly swung to the jury "
A pension ngont named Wright se
cured for the widow ot a revolutionary
soldier a pension or 9100 , of which sum
ho retained one-half as his fee , The
panslonor ncrlpploa old woman , hob
bled Into Lincoln's olllco and told her
btory , It stirred Lincoln up ; ho brought
suit against the afifint , and on the day
of the trial ho salu ; )
"I am going tostyfi Wright nnd got
that money backJ'
Ho did so Thoiold woman told her
atory to the jury 'j Lincoln , in his plon ,
drew a picture of- the hardships of Vnl-
loy Forgo , doscxibiiig the soldlorn ns
crooplng bnrcfootcOfovor the ice nnd
marking their traclfs by tholr blooding
foot Thou ho contrasted the hardships
of the soldiers , oirdurod for thnir coun
try , with the hnrdanod action of the
agent In llocc' .iig-the old woman ot ono
halt of her pensibnt
Ho was merciless ; the members ot
the jury were in lours , and the agent
writhed in his sent under the castina
tion ot Lincoln's denunciation The
jury returned a verdict In her favor for
the lull amount , and Lincoln mudo no
chnrgo for his sorvlces
Ills notes for the argument were
uiilquo :
"No contract No professional > ser
vlces Unroasonnblo chnrgo Money
retained by Deft not given by I'l'll
Hovolutlonary War Descrlbo Valley
Forgo privations Ice Soldiers blood
ing foot Pl'lT's husband Soldier leav
ing for army skin Deft Close
Boys , bo wlso , here comes a fooll"
oxclniincd a grcitFmioologlan , ceasing
to amuse himself by jumping ever
chairs and tables , as ho saw a solemn ,
pouantio lriotid approaching iou
dent know the luxury of > playing tlio
fool , " said Lord Chancellor Kldon , as
ho uancud In his own drawing loom tea
a tune of his own singing You are a
father , Signor Ambassador , and so wo
' will finish our rldo " said Henry IV of
Frnnco , when the Spanish miutstor dis
covered hnn riding round the room on
a stick with his son * '
Dugald Stowurt , the phllosophor , was
once found by a frlond , trying to bal
ance a peacocks feather on his nose
His competitor in the contest of skill
Wiis Patrick Frascr Tytlor , the histo
rian
rian.Dean
Dean Swift used to amuse liimsolf by
harnessing his servants with cords , and
driving thom up and down Btnirs , and
through the rooms of the donnory
Faraday played marbles and ball with
little boys , and took part in charades ,
playlntronco the learned pig "
William l'itt dollghtod to romp with
children Ho was once playing _ with
nicco and iiopnows , who were trying to
blnckon his face with a burnt cork A
servant announced that two members
of the cabinet desired toseohnnon
business Lot them wait in the other
room , " said Pitt , catching up a cushion
and belaboring the girl und bojs They
got him down und were actually daub -
Ing his fuce , when ho said , " Stop , this
will do I could boat you all , but wo
must not keep these grandees waiting
longer "
A basin of water and a towel were
brought in and the great prime minister -
tor washed his face * ; hid the basin and
then received thd two lords
Dr Bnttio , an eminent London phy
sician , used to aniiise liimsolf by gazing
at the Punch and1 Judy show Ho was
such a successful mimic of Punch
that ho once savedma patient s llfo by
imitating that character
The patlont was suffering from a
swelling in the throat , and the doctor ,
turning his wig , appeared at the bed
'
sldo with the l'faco and voice of
Punch " The aiak
• , man laughed so
heartily that the swelling broke and a
complete euro followed Man is the
only animul who au laugh ; ho , there
forc , relishes a little nonsense
1
James Ettor , an old soldier , who forever
over twenty years has been ono of the
day watchmen in'the Winder building ,
which is occupicddiy the bureau of the
second auditor of the treasury , relates
with orido an interesting experience ho
had in 1863 , says a Washington letter
to the Pittsburg Dispatch As ho was
alone in the building ono sultry July
Sunday morning a tall , clerical-looking
man entered from Seventeenth street
und politely asked him whether Surgeon
"
geon Barnes wus in his oflico Ho re
plied that Barnes had not been thorp
since the preceding auy The strancor
thanked him and retired , but returned
half an hour later with the same in
quiry Again receiving reply in
the negative , ho said : "I am
Mr Lincoln , the president You
will allow mo to take your place
as watchman , whllo you go to Surgeon
Barnes house and toll him I want to see
him Lot mo have your badge , and I
will sit right hero in your chair and
carefully attend to your duties till you
como back "
The veteran , in relating the story ,
says that for a moment ho was spoecb-
loss from astonishment , , but quickly
recovering liimsolf , ho pinned his
badge on the coat pf the president of
the Unltod States and hurried elf after
Dr Barnes , whom ho brought back
with him Well , " said the president ,
us ho returned the badge to its rightful
possessor "I have proven true to my
trust us your substitute and nothing
has gone wrong whllo you were uwny "
The old watchman fools proud to think
ho is the only policeman who was ever
relieved by the president Surgeon
Barnes lived on Lafuyotto square , and
it took Ettor half an hour to go there
and back ; so for that space ot tlmo
Abraham Lincoln acted as a walohmaa
at the treasury department ,
At Orange you can hoar numberless
stories of Edison , says the Electric Ago ,
Everybody likes him Ono man , who
had boon for-yoars In his employ as an
experimentalist , told of a visit that a
number of capitalists including Jay
Gould , SldiiQy Dillon , Sam Sloan and
Cyrus Field paid to Edison at bis lab
ratory ono day , to inspect the workings
ot some induction experiment In devis
ing the Bchomp for telegraphing to
moving trains Edison came out of his
work room , where ho wus . busy , and
shook hands with Field At that in
stant somothlng popped into his head ,
apropos of the oxportmont ho was at
work on , Ho neyor gives an idou
tiomjto escape hint 11 Without a word
of excuse to ' "Hho four mag
nates he turned oirhls heel and hurried
Into his don again ? ' They waited and
waited and by anfL by tired out with
delay , wended their way down stairs
Shortly afterward Edison came out and
asked : Where dULthoso paupers go ? "
Down stuirs , "t ) ' , , l
Did they walkW ,
Yes , "
ja t
"That's right "Fdon't want'cm to
wear the oil off my elevator " Then ho
stood around for up [ hour and swap pod
stories with the intra in the shop Ho
is the greatest innnuliving for stories
und it is a tradiiloirtmiong his employes
that they can tell him tlio same story
every day for a week nnd hell never
tire ot it , nor in tact show any sign pf
having heard it before
Ex-Judgo Noah Davis was always
noted , whllo ho was on the bench , for
his pertinent questions to witnesses ,
says the Dotrolt Noivs Ono day a suit
was tried before him in which a steam
ship company was required to show
cause why it should not pay the dam
ages to certain goods whioh had been
destroyed by the incontinent actions of
truck horses , frlghtonod , as it was
claimed , by the horrible und unearthly
whistle of the steamship which was
about to depart from the plor Ono of
the witnesses wus Miohuol Swoonoy ,
on Irishmau , who was present at the
tlmo of the acoidont
Stephen F , Nash , the counsel for the
plaintiff , asked Mr Swcenoy if his
horses were frightened by tlio whlstlo
of the boat ,
They were not , ser , " ho said
But what kind of nn oar hnvo your
horses , Mr Swconyy" said Mr Nash
They have good cars , ser , " he nn-
sworcd
Did you hear the whistle yourself V"
Idliisor "
But , " said Judge Davis , turning to
the Innocent looiclng Irishman , what
kind of a cart or truck was It that you
di-ovo , MlkoV"
"A hand cart , ser "
uAh , " said the judge , turning anole
gotically to the discomposed Mr Nash ,
"wo have asked ono qiiostion too many "
To Interrupt Borneo Grcolcy when ho
was in the throes of bringing forth an
editorial an editorial which has never
booh equalled In the journalism of
America nn editorial which was a slo
gan for his party , a thunderbolt for his
fees was a danger which no friend ,
no enemy , none but n fool , dared to en
counter , said Chauncoy Dopow In a recent -
cent speech botoro the Boston Press
club I was once in his editorial sanc
tum when the fool was there To relieve -
liovo your npprohonsions , I was not the
fool .Ho was ono of these itinerant
and persistent gcntlonion with a sub
scription book Ho kept presenting it
whllo old Horace was writing as
most of you remember , with his non away
up to hlschln , llko this [ illustratingnnd ]
Horueo had ti habit , when anyone would
Interfere ot kicking , and so no , kicked
nt the subscription llond Finally , when
ho saw ho could not got rid of the in
truder by this moans , ho stopped in the
middle of a sentence , turned round , and
said , raspingly , in that shrill volco of
his :
What do you want ? Stnto it quick
nnd state it in the fewest possible
words "
Well , " said the subscription fiend ,
"I want a subscription , Mr Grcoloy ,
to prevent thousands of my follow hu
man beings from going to hell "
Said Mr Greoloy : "I wont glvo you
a d d cent There dent half enough
go there now "
Speaking of the Into Martin F. Tup-
per a London journalist says : When
it was my good fortuuo to bocoico ac
quainted with Mr Tuppor I found him
the most cordial friend The storm of
contemptuous criticism which ubout
that tlmo hailed down upon his works
never disturbed his onuanimity or
ruflled his temper ; in looks ho was a
ruddy-fncod , white-beurdeu , hundsomo ,
man , hearty , courteous and onthusius-
tic As a proof of his good temper I
may here repeat an anecdote which I
have published olhowhoro It is to the
oirect that when I visited Mr Tuppor
at Albany Uo showed mo an immense
volume , in which were pasted all the
criticisms , favorable and unfavorable ,
of his works und all the parodies of bis
poems ' Among the latter I saw with
horror some which I had written , and
with moro horror a. marginal note in
Mr Tupper's handwriting : "I under
stand these to bo by Edmund Yates ;
they nro very smart
Mr Browning used often to speak to
friends of the only occasion on which hoover
ever spoke to the < juccn Some years
ago the late dean of Westminster and
Lady Augusta Stanley invited him ,
among others , to tea at the Deanery to
meet the queou , and a small select
party v.oro present , Carlyle being ouo
The company , ns was befitting in the
presence of their sovereign , were respectfully - ,
spoctfully silent , only joining , in the
conversation when addressed . The
queen began to talk to Carlyle and expressed -
pressed her opinions on some matter
upon whioh they differed , and he as
usual , contradicted her and silenced
her As'tho ' queen loft the room she
stoppgd [ at the door .to speak to Mr
Browning and saygood-byo , remarking :
What au extraordinary man Mr Car
lyle Is Does ho always talk llko that ?
1 nov6r met him before " Mr Brown
ing was only able to assure her that it
was his invariable custom
When the bishop of Edin burgh was
in this country he visited Bishop Will
iams , of Connecticut , at Middloton , says
the Yonkers Statesman . Habited in
the English Episcopul costume of knee
breeches and black silk stockings , ho
alighted from a train , and was at once
accosted by Bishop Williams , although
the two mon had never mot each ether
before
Toll me , " asked Bishop Williams ,
after the first greetings , how did you
know mo'i" '
"Ah , by your face , " replied his lord
ship of Edinburgh , "I have ono of your
photographs , you know But tell mo in
return how you know moV"
Oh by your leers , " ropllod Dr Will
iams , glancing with an amused srallo at
the well-turned calves of his guest
iuiiinis
The doxology is all well enough in Its way ,
but for Xinas duy tno proper pasan Is the
soclcdology
Alone with God and her ) lead pencil is
the ono opportunity a woman has to sharpen
it without being told she dent know how
and never will
The signal ollicer of the infernal regions
makes very little cbango in ins predictions1
His bulletins Invariably read , "wanner to
morrow "
How aroyousucccedingMr Hornblower *
in your work In the westt Rev Mr Horn
blower Magnllicontly There's a great
awakening at the close of every sermon
Friend Are you happy I Spirit ( through
modlumj Perfectly , Frlond What * has
pleased you most smco you lelt us I Spirit
The epitaph on my tombstone It both
amazes and delights me
Sam .lohnsing Did you lioali do parson
say dat whosoebor had stole his pumpkins
would go tor do bad place ) Jim Webster
Heuhl heahl ain't 1 glad I didn't steal uuf-
lln but cabbages
It was Elder Buzzoll , sa\s an exchange ,
who oalled on a worthy deacon to open a
meeting with prayer , and was surprised
when thu good man began his petition with :
"O , thou great , luslgnilhant God " Omnipotent
nipotent , brbthcr ; you mean omiilpotont
God " whispered the borriflod pastor
Huh I" ejaculated the surprised suppllcunt ,
"What's that you sayl" The prcaohor re
peated the correction , whereupon the deacon
continued his prayer to a great loiigth , and
concluded as follows : Finally , Lord bless
our eddicated parson Stuff him with relig
ion as well as words , break him of tlio habit
of fault-Qndin' , if possible , and nt the > ) oy-
enth hour gather him with the saints in the
kingdom , "
At a recent Sunday school sorvlco the
clergyman was illustrating the nccosslty of
Chrfstsan profession In order properly to
enjoy the blessings of provldenco iu this
world , and to make it apparent to the youth
ful mind bo said : For instance , I want to
introduce water into my house Too pipes
and oyory convenience are iu good order ,
but I get no water Can any of you toll mo
why I do not got any water ! " lie expected
the children to see that it was because ho'
haa not made a connection with the main in
the street The boys looked psrploxed They
could not eeo why the water should re
fuse to run in his premises after such fault
less plumbing Can no ono tell inco what I
have neglected ! ' reiterated the good man
lboklng over the iiock ot wondering faces
bowed down by the weight of the problem
'I know , ' squaked a llttlo flvo-yoar-old.
* Vou dent pay up '
The wife of Count Tolstoi , the Russian
novelist , is , like the wives of many literary
men , the busiest member of the family lirm
She has solo charge of the sale and dlstribu *
tlon of her husbands books , and ls his aman
uensis , roylsor and translator , Besides , she
superintends the bringing up and education
of their thirteen children , and looks alter all
domostlc affairs , It is as much as the count
can do to make the shoes for the thirteen
youngsters and entertain his callers from
America
N. W. Cor 13thjand Dodge Sts , Omaha , Neb II
THE LARGEST MEDICAL INSTITUTE IN THE WEST 31
Toil Till TKRATMKNT 01' M.h JIH
Chronic and Surgical Diseases and Diseases of the Eye and Ear Jftl
PARTICULAR ATTENlipN PAID TO DEFORMITIES , , DISFASES OF WOMEN , DISEASES H
OF THE URINARY AND SEXUAL ORGANS , PRIVATE DISEASES , DISEASES
OF THE NERVOUS SYSTEM LUNG AND THROAT DISEASES , t-H
SURGICAL OPERATIONS , EPILEPSY OR FITS , ' H
PILES , CANCERS , TUMORS , Etc f M
J. W. McMENAMY , M. B. , President , | |
Ami Consulting Pliysiciun and Surgeon 'II '
Organized wilii a Ml staff of Skilled Physicians , Surgeons and Trained Niirces . II
This establishment is a porniancnl medical institution , conducted by thoroughly if |
educated physicians nnd surgeons of acknowledged skill mid experience Tlio - { ]
Institute bindings , situated on the northwest corner of Thirteenth and Dodge 111
Btreots , is composed of two larfio tlueo-story biick biddings oC ever ninety rooms , > M
coiiUliiliigoiirMedical , Surgical and Consultation Rooms , Drug Store , Laboratory , . NM
Offices , Manufactory of Surgical Appliances and braces , and the Boarding Depart ' '
raent for Patients , In charge of couijiotent perbons , constituting tlio largest and fffl
the most thoroughly equipped Medical and Suigical Establishment in the Wosl , ono IM
of the three largest in the United States , and second to none JIB
Wo have superior advantages and facilities for treating diseases , performing tfB |
surgical operations , boaiding and nursing patients , which , combined with our ' \im \
acknowledged ability , experience , responsibility nnd reputation , should make the III
Omaha Medical and Surgical Institute the lirst choice | | B
You can come direct to the Institute , day or night , as we have hotel accommojffl
datipns as good ana as cheap as any in the city
Wo make this explanation for the boiwilt of persons who may feel inclined toWM
gpfurthoroastformedicalorsiiigic.il treAtmoiiL and do not appreciate the fact i
that Omaha possesses tlio largest and most complete Medical und Surgical Instiam
tuto west off Now York , witli a capital of over 8100,000. , !
DEFORMITIES OF THE HUMAN BODY * | B
t = b W-Wif r\ APPLIANCES FOR DEFORMI- ,
n SW * TIES AND T11USSES- .
Best Facilities , Apparatus nnd Remedies for Successful Treatment ot kw
every form or Disease requiring BrKDIUAX or SUJRG1CA.L ) M
TIU3AT.M13NX. - 1
In thl3 department wo nro especially successful Our claims of superiority o > 5H
all others are based upon the fact that this is the only medical establishment man ipH
ufactining surgical braces and appliances for eacli individual case Wo hnva Mmt
three skilled instrument makers in our employ , with Improved machinery , and !
have all the latest inventions , us well as our owu patents and improvements , • %
the result of twenty j ears experience HH
ELBOTHIOAL 33EK "TO A T'JVT'F JXra ? . 31
. The treatment of diseases by electricity has undergone great changes within the * ; H
p > stfewyearsandelectricityianowacknowodgedbyallschoolsof ! medicinensthe " | H
gioat remedy in all chronic , special and nerve diseases , for nervous debility , parIB
alysls , rheumatism , diseases of women , etc , and in many eye and ear diseases it 1
U the most valuable of nil remedies 4H
In order to obtain its full virtues , ltis absolutely necessary to have the proper H
apparatus We have lately purchased three of the largest nnd most complete !
batteries manufactured , bo constructed ns to give the most gentle as well as the *
most powerful current Persons treated nt this Institute by electricity lecognizo fII
at once the difference between our expensive and complete electrical apparatus 'fll
und the common , cheap batteries , in use by many physicians Over 3,000 dollars JII
' .uvested in electrical apparatus jfI |
PRIVATE , SPECIAL , NERVOUS AND fl
BLOOD DISEASES I
Wo claim to be the only reliable , responsible establishment in the west makingm \
a specialty of this class of diseases Dr McMenainy was ono of the ilrst thorough " §
ly educated physicians to make a special study of this class of diseases , and his "JM
methods and inventions have been adopted by specialists in Europe and Ameiica ]
llo is the inventor of the Clamp Compress Susponsory , acknowledged the host in 12M
use All others are copied after his invention By means of a simple Operation , 3SM
painless nnd safe , recently brought into use , wo cure many cases that have been mm
given up as incurable by medical treatment ( Bead our book to men , ttntfree to anu " mm
address ) K * .4m
dtG DISEASES OF "EmTEl j3JKTX > JSJjS JR , ffl
72jJ ! PI We have had wonderful success in this department in the iffl
IFVlK' past > ' 0ivr > nnd ave uiao ( many Improvement * to our faclll- ' * >
L5HrJa ) ties for treatment , operations , artillclal eyes , ate ' § M
MMmr CASES TREATED IIY LETTER HM
jastt K Wo have gioatly improved our facilities and methods of ilM
treating cases by correspondence , and aio having belter success m this dopartIfli
ment than ever befoio ; § M
We tire fully up to the times in all the latest Inventions in medical nnd surgical , lM
operations , appliances and instruments Our institution is open for lnvestlgaHH
tion to any persons , patients or physicians Wo invite b11 to correspond with or < iMm
visit us before taking tieatment elsewhere , boliovJng that a visit or consultution . H
will convince any intelligent person that it is to their advantage to place thom H
selves under our care \H :
Since this advertisement first appeared , many loasting pretenders avd frauds have ,3m
come and gone and many more will conic and ijo , remembered only by their unfortunatedm
and foolish victims , 'US
"A "votsc man investigates first and decides afterwards , * H
. /l fool decides first , then investigates 1' JAB
Tlit Omaha Medical und Surgical Institute is indorsed ly the people and the press , WM
More capital invested , more skilled physicians employed , more modern appliances , instruMM
ments and apparatus in use , more cases treated und cured , more successful surgical Mm
operations performed , than in all otlier medical esiablislonents m llu Wat combined Sul
144 PAGE BOOK ( Illustrated ) U
SENT FREE TO ANY ADDRESS ( soalio ) . ' | $1
COSTTErtsrUTS : ; | § |
ESS Fir * " II,5jorT' , su ? : < " > < > Advantusrca of tno Omaha Mallcal nnil 8urirlcal Jrutltnte WM
lrrV l ! . e coPd r ? , " , t0MI , ? , Ol KMs of tlio Juugr Btomacti Ilvcr KUuoya BUlu , I'llcJ , Cinoer HI
. wC .fVl . r ! i • 'Sr" " ! " "lieuinatUm , Inbalatiou Are Worm Kloctrlclty Now Jtemodles , cto ' MM
Var Nook , , n r0itm ) . Lip ? ' , < Hurglcal urTftu r9 Operations or * ' " } Bp'neUul ' > Feet , Hlj > Wwanos/l'aralyJlftTWry Wm -M
i > i' HEros'i&0,7lrluu , > 0 nul ttm Byotlda Inversion of the I.lds , Artltlelal Hyro oto fSI
„ TOv " " " o * " Womicw Loucorrlicou U ooratlon , . . Ml
r v"8lOM.Tuinora.I.acoratlona Dlnphioemuuu , Prolapsus Flo * , mm
i2niin ? and Cancer ot the Womb
„ „ w2Il ,7D . ISESM olr fEJJ' ? Irvuto ' Special ami Nervous Diseases , BporniatorrhcEa ( B mln&l ' . fl
Urinal wiwf0 y' VorlctKclo ! • Htr'oturo ' , CJIeet , Bypbtlls , uud afl dlwrncsof tUooSnlto ifl
DISEASES OP WOMEN A&tc\hVC\- \ iut > ! . * > * < Wk
Only Reliable Medical Institute Slaking a Specialty of Wm\ \
PKIVATB DISEASES , JH
AU Blood Diseases supceufiiHy trcatod Syphilitic Folson IsH
removed from
Uo nrBlein wlthnnk
rTu7 . K" ? Koo'orattvo Treattncut for Lola or Vital Iowor 1'uUbLu unuulofi VlSt ui ? ; IsH
„ , " ir '
m naiSf ? it „ lj0"lJ ! byrorrespondoncc All cominunluitloiis conOdoi tlal ! VcdlcuToi or nsmi 1H
OMAHA MEDICAL & SURGICAL INSTITUTE , 9
11 tU * ud Xioif * ir u. Onmlm , Kifc WM
WMm