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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 8, 1889)
I * THE OMAHA DAILY BEE . SUNDAY , tVPEOEMBER 8. SIXTEEN PAGES 7 H THE METUODIST CONFERENCE H Sluill Chicago Take It Away from B Omaha ? H fMPORTANCE OF THE MOVE B Coiiiniprcinl mill Hplrltunl UolieiltH B to bo Derived from the Moot HB ina null Wli.it Is Neocs * HB pnry * ° Ueouro It BB AVork I'or the Cnnfcrpiice Bfl The question of absorbing Intcro.H to the BJ Methodist , of Omaha and neighboring towns Bb is whether Chicago shall taka away from BS the Onto city or not the great General Bft conference of the Methodist Episcopal Bff church of 1892. BK At the last general conference , Omaha BJ presented her claims through Presiding Bft Elder Clcndcnnlng' , for the next meeting , BK nnd mnong the arguments In the proposition BB were the following : BB Omaha Is the metropolis of the roeion cra- Bl bracing Nebraska , K < insas , Iowa , Wyoming , BB Dakota , Colorado , Utah and Idaho BB Omaha 19 a beautiful city of 110,000 perm BB lutlon BB Omaha has entertained successfully the BB Presbyterian general assembly , the ccnoral BH synod of , ' the evnugclicnl Luthornii church , BBC and thonaiionnl conference of charities und BB1 corroctiouB all hold in 1S87. Omaha is well adapted by location and HB ell lilted with railroad facilities , hotels nnd ] > ubhc lmlla , to moot the wants ot a great H gathering f Oinahn has slxty-nlno churches , of which Hi fourteen arc Methodist Ouiaim is SOU miles from Chicago , atnl the B great Rocky mountains can bo reached In j twenty hours at a round trip expense of { . ' 5 , ) thus Riving attendants on the conference a H splendid opportunity to see this wonder B land in a pleusant summer journey H Omaha is only foity-oight hours by rail from New York ; alxtecn liours from Chl- H cago1 , twelve liours from St Louis and Hj seventy hours from San Francisco HH ) The conference ought to come west , bo- f cause Mothodlsin has prospered in western [ soil ; nnd the location of the conference hero will bo an uncounted incentive to increased r development Wo therefore urge your body to meet in Omaha in 1892 , nnd promise : H 1. To provldo frco of expense to the conference - forenco a suitable hnll , properly lighted and 1 furnisheu , to scat4,000or , moro , comfortably ; HHj also commlttco rooms 2. That all dolegatcs and visitors shall bo H > alforded ample accommodations in our hotels fr nnd private homes HH | IJ 'J'liat railroad fares shall bo made as J favorable as clsowhcro HH | Hi-solutions passed by a mass meeting of HH | citizens in Council Bluffs nnd a meeting of ) ttic Methodists of Omaha worn added , urg- I lag that Omaha bo the place of the next gen H oral conioreuco The committco on tonipornl economy , after carefully considering tno claims of the various - > rious cities , unanimously rccoinmonded that Omaha bo selected as Rio place for holding HHM the session of lb'J2 , and further recommend HHV that a commission of seven should Do np- HHH pointed , who should bo authorized to confer V With the brethren at Omaha concerning rnil- BMH road rates , and render such aid as may bo HH | needed in perfecting the arrangements ; also HB recommended that in case Omaha should Hm fail to carry out the agreement proposed , , that this commission should bo authorized to HHH Ilx upon somp ono of the cities named as fol- lowsn Chicago , St Louis , San Francisco , Charleston , S , C , Dos Moines , Indianapolis , V Springllold , 111. , or Washington , in which thb tonfcicnca should bo hold HM Tno bishops nt their late mooting in To- Hl pekn appointed the following commission : I Muxtlcld' Omaha , Hobbs of Chicago , I Mugeo of Boston , Palmer ' of Now York , ft Shlnltlo of Covington , Taylor of St Louis . - nnd , Wilson of Minneapolis , This cotnmis- 8ion consists of ilvo laymen and two ministers - tors , and great pressure is being brought to bear upon thorn , by the pcoplo of Chicago nnd > St Louis in favor of those cities The only I argument they use Is that Omaha is unable to care for the great gathering Some of the members of the commission have been in- duccd to boiiovo this and insist that Omaha raise 30,000 for expenses promised , or they ( will vote for changing the seatot the gen } cral conference to some otbor city I This 1b a short history of the move by I which it was decided to hold the genoralcon- forenco of the Methodist church in this city I nnd the effort which is uow being made to M transfer it to some ether town M To ascortaiu how parties most directly in- torcstcd feel on the subject , the following M intervlovvs wcro obtained : M Bishon Newman The last general confer ouco hold in Now York in 1SS accepted the Invitation'from Omaha to hold its next sos * slon in May , 1S92 in this city The invitation - tion included the entertainment of delegates and n suitable place wherein to hold the sessions - sions of the conference , The bishops were authorised to appoint a commission of seven to aid the brethren of Omaha in securing railroad accommodations , nnd if for any cause Omaha should fall lofulllllits promisa B of cntortalnmout , to select some ether city us the place of meeting The general conference of 1S92 will bo a great and uotablo gathering All the 1 bishops will bo ptesent , including the mis- * nionary bishops , ono from India and ono § from Africa All the oltlcial book agents , editors and secretaries will bo present and I about llvo hundred delegates from all parts I of the world Iu addition to these tbcro will I bo fraternul dologatcs from England and § ether foreign countries , together with these I from slstor churches in our own I land The conferoncu will last thirty davs , through the month of Alay , sms during which time wo may calculuto that not loss than titty thousand pcoplo from the east and south , and especially from the great west and northwest and thn Paelllo slope will coma as visitors to remain from thrco to ton days , as the case may bo Ex- cursinn trains from ICunsas , Colorado , Iowa lind nil parts of Nebraska will pour in their quota Some think that this estimate is too > low , judging from the thousands that wont to New York in 1SSS and from the multitude that went to Kansas City to visit our late missionary committco at which it was ostl- mated that flvo hundred ministsrs were prcsonU It Is a question whether Omaha has the hotel accommodations for this trun- T slont multitude Of course , the coming of so many pcoplo , at least ono thousand of whom will live hero continuously for a month , will largely swell the voluma of business done in Omaha ; and When all of these pcoplo shall have returned to their homes Omaha will bo ono of the best known cities In the country Extended reports - ports ot the proceedings will bo published In all tbo secular papers and all tbo journals of our own denomination , The Incoming of so many great men eminent for scholarship , for eloquence , for powerful personality , will constltuto an epoch in the history of this M growing inland city of the continent which * will borccalled with interest iu tbo years to como The Motbodlst people of Omaha stand * pledged for tbo entertainment ot ut least six H hundred of tbeso representatives , Whether this can be accompluhod is a question of serious import How many private rcs | . * donees will bo thrown open to these rav- B orend eontloment What share will our sister B1 churches take in helping to bear this delight * k Homo burden , and what part will bo borne by the enterprising business mon of Omaha ? Hov II A. Crane , Pastor of Seward Street < M. E. Church Whore that conference shall r bo hold mu.v seem to some ot your readers a , ' matter for future discussion ; but the faot is the matter will bo decided in a very few months , and what Omaha has to say and do iibout it , must be said and done quickly At the last general confercuoe , hold In Kow York in Mav , lbbS , Chicago , St Louis , San Francisco , Charleston , S. C. Des Moines , Indianapolis , Sprlnglleld , 111. , Wash ington ana Omaha were oacti urged for the Boat ot the uoxt session Each place urged , Its railroad facilities , accessibility from all parts of the country , its general advantages in the line of usseuiblago rooms and all save Omaha urged their hotel advantages The representatives of Omaha said : "Wo do not Invite you to our hotels , but to our homes , " nnd offered to entertain without expense to the geucral church all the delegates , and to provldo also a suitable place tor the meetings , , Upon these conditions , and because ot a dc- ) round from western delegates , that the con ferouco Bhould bo brought west , Omaha was 1 saltctod Uut lest it should not bo able to Hi fulhll thospccltlad conditions , a commission was provided for , with power to name an- > bbb Other place and rankoall nrrnncoments la case Omaha should fall The suhcot ] is- now being agitated In the cast , nnd nn effort is being rondo to show that Omaha ennnot fulfill the condltlons.nnd much Inlluonco is belne brought to boar to take the conference to Chlcaso This Omaha cnanot ufford to allow , and probably will not The conference will con sistot about flvo hundred and fifty dele gates , About 300 of them will bo the lending speakers and writers of the denomination , They represent 130 nnnunl conferences and missions composed of nearly 15,000 ministers The remaining 530 nro rcpresontatlvo lay men , representing a membership of over 2,000,000. These ministers nnd laymen in- lluenco a constituency of over 4,000,000 pco plo , nnd what they would sco nntl learn of the west Is of no Blight Importance to Omaha nnd Nebraska Hut , besides the dclceates the conference will naturally bring with it thousands of visitors , many of thotn from South America , England , Australia and the continent , and some from China , India and Africa , It Is easily seen that such a gather ing is of too much Importance to bo lost by neglect or lack of suMelent effort To sccurobojondnll peradventure the com ing of the conference , wo need to have an auditorium engaged which will accommo date at least ilvo thousand pcoplo , and to make nil ndequato provision nnd guarantco thereof for tbo entertainment of the n50 del egatus durlhg ono month , May , IS' ,12. The Methodists of Omaha stSnd rt-ndy to do their utmost In this matter , nnd they expect the usual courtesy of sister denominations , and the cooperation of the citizens in guuornl Hov P. S. Merrill The Methodist general conference has fixed upon Omaha us the scat of Its next session in May , 1892 , on the condition that this city entertain the dele gate ? . A commission was recently appointed to provldo another place In enso Omaha should fall to uicot the dcmntid It scorns the rumor has gene abroad that our city can not entertain this conference This has stirred the Omaha Methodists uo nnd they nro beginning to ngltnto the subject Last Monday night a meeting was held in First church about it , and n second will bo held in the snmo place on the evening of the 17th. This time the gouernl public will bo admitted As this is a matter of very greatest import ance , not only to Omnha Methodism , but to all our citizens , the following facts are pre sented : 1. What is the general conference ! It Is the supreme and only legislative body pf the Methodist Episcopal church About 5u0 del egates from nil over the world will constltuto it from wherever Methodism is The greatest theologians , orators and scholars of the church will bo among thom , men whoso personal inlluonco Lanscarcoly bo estimated 3. What will it do for Omahal Besides these dclogntcs it will bring thousands upon thousands of visitors hero from east , west , north and south TI1030 pcoplo will sco the advantages and prospects of Omaha ns a tity and go off to the ends of the earth to tall : about it The great ofllcial organ of the church , the Now York Christian Advocate , will publish here a daily edition , thousands of which will bo sent nil over tbo world ns an ndvorlisement for Omaha Then , no paper ot any consequence , dally or weekly , secular or religious , published in the Eng lish language , will full to mention Omaha in oycry edition for that month Even the papers ot other tongues la this country nnd some olscwhero will note our city , for nil the people must have all the news The doings of that great body at Omaha will interest millions Our city will then cease to bethought thought of as a western territory or nn In- dinu village , and Omaha will bo Known as a great growing , mighty , intelligent , progres sive nnd hospitnblo city Now it appears that to gain all of this Omaha has but to pledge herself to the on- tertninraont of Co0 mon for a month It is es timated that the total cost will not exceed S30.000 that is if we paid their board nt our hotels Of course u portion will bo takou by private parties in their homo3. If our business men and others Interested In the wellfaro of the city thought it would bo worth $50,000 to hnvo a national political convention held here nnd were willing to pledge themsulvcs for that amount , surely they should be ready to pledge $30,000 to se cure tills great confoienco if so much oven were needed Wo cant afford to have It published to the world that Uiq general con ference want to Chicago , for Instance , because - cause Omaha could not or would not enter tain it When the matter shall bo presented to our men of business and wealth will they let such an opportunity go byi ltcv E. A. Foirolstront's Mi sslon Itov E. A , Fogelstrom of this city is m liostou soliciting aid toward the construction and equipment of the Immanuel Hospital and Deaconess instltuto The undertaking Is national in its scape , and undenominational The idea of its projector is to do in this country a work similar to that which was begun in Kuisorswerts , Germany , in 1S3B , by Theodora Fliodnor , nnd which has devel oped with ouch ustonishinir rapidity that there are now in European cities ever eight thousuud doucouessos occupying over two thousand two hundred dilTcrcnt stations Thcso institutions are aboJos ot Christian women , malaons or widows , who consecrate themselves for Christ's sake to the service of the poor , the sick , the homeless , 1 ricndloss , the fallen and the unovungellzcd The homo in stitution is to bo especially a training school , from which suitably prepared and thoroughly approved laborers in this causa may bo sup plied forservico in all the largo cities of the United States Mr Fogelstrom boars with him strong credentials and evidences of the endorse ment of his mission Dy mnnv clergymen and laymen and laywomeu of wide and distin guished reputation , including Hov Dr How ard Crosby of Now York , Senator Mander- son of Nebraska and Mr Grovcr Cleveland , Among well known liostou people who have responded to the appeal by generous words nnd clfts are Mr F. 'L , Amos , Mrs Nathan iel Thayer and Hov Drs , E. E. Hale and Phillips UrooltB Pulpit nntl Paw Mrs Dimmlck , ot late sopraatst at the First Baptist church , will hereafter bo the soloist at Trinity M. E. church Twenty-first and llinuoy strcots The Thanksgiving benefit nt the Seward Stroct M. E. church ncttod ? U in money and clothes , and the procoads are being distrib uted nmoug the deserving poor in that portion tion ot the city Miss Woodward of Seward dollvcred a tompcranco address at the Sowaro Street M. E. church Tuesday evening , She gavoa very vigorous talk on the impending submission amendment , and gave a history of the liquor traillo durinir the past,000 ! ) years , Commencing January 5 , Itov Frank W. Foster , pastor of the Immanuel Baptist church , will deliver a scries of sermons oa Success in Life , " taking his material from the lives of a hundred leading business and professional men of Omaha It is probable that the dedication of the Im manuel liaptist church will not occur until two weeks from today Steps are being taken toward holding a convention of-young people of the United Prosbvtorlan church January 1 to3 inclusive All the soclntles of the Missouri valley will bo Invited to participate The ladles of Trlulty Methodist Episcopal church will hold a sale and oyster supper In the church parlors on Friday afternoon and evening , December 17. Ono hundroa dressed dolls and n great variety of fancy articles for Christmas presents will bo on sale The "Ltttlo Old Woman la the Shoo will also bo present , Par St Mnttliews' Mission A very pleasant vocal and Instrumental en tertainment was glvon In the parlors ot the Kountzo Memorial church , Sixteenth and Harrey streets , ou Thursday oveuing , for the benefit of tbo now St Matthews mission building , which romalas unfinished The pooplu's association of the church had charge of the affair , and managed it very success fully The participants in tbo prosramino were : Mrs K. Atwater Mr A. W , Derrlch and Miss Margaret Llddcll , vocalUts ; Miss Nottio Havorly , pianist ; MIssMabol Fonda , elocutionist ; Mr E. J , Urett , violinist ; Mr , LJ , Wolfe , oornollst Itov Fitzgerald's Lecture The St Vincent Do Paul association has arranged for a lecture to bo delivered by Hev T , B. Fitzgerald , 8. J. , the well known speaker and president of Crolghton college It will bo delivered at Hoyd's opera bouse on Wednesday evening , December 18 , the suoioct being ' Christ and Poverty , " This Is Father Fitzgorald's first lecture in this city outsldo of SU Johns church The ef fort will bo nblo nnd entertaining nnd will doubtless attract n large attendance The funds dorlved from the lecture will bo applied to the roliotof the poor The St \ Inccnt Do Paul association grnntod re lief to the extent of * 3H7.UO last wlntor , and its work was only limited by the amount of nvallnblo funds It hopes to increase the nsslstnnco this wlntor The association , though composed of Catholics , is non-sccU- rlan in the giving ot relief A December Canni-Montlng. II an scorn Park M , E. church is arrang ing for some novel services for uoxt week They will bo a regular camp-mootttig held In December Hov C. W. Savaoo will preach Mondny evening ; Hov P. S. Merrill , Tuesday ovonlng ; Hov J. W. Hoblnson , Wodnosdny ovonlng ; Hov II A. Crane , Thursday ovonlng ; Hov E. N. Dawson , Friday ovenlug , Services will comtnouco nt 7i30 p. m. sharp Aftornoou services will also bo hold Wednesday , Thurs day and Friday CIlUUOll M > riOKB At Immanuel Baptist church , north Twenty-fourth and llonnoy street Hev Frank W. Fester , pastor Hegulnr morning and evening services in our now house Morning llictuo : Thinking the Iudex to Living " In the evening the young Indies of the church will have nn exercise in tbo intorcsts ot their sox The public cordially welcomed to all our services Trinity Motbodlst Episcopal church , cor ner Twonty-ilrat nnd Honnoy , Hev W. K. Beans , pastor Mornlr.g service , Centennial tennial of Book Concern " In the evening preaching by the pastor Subject , Spiritual Gymnntlcs " Suudityschool , UtilO pm M. M. Hamlin , Btiperintcndentof young pcoplo's mooting nt 0:45 : p. in All suuts froc The pcoplo made welcome The Worst Man In Omaha , " will bo Rev P. S. Morrill's subject Sunday evening in the First McthodlstEplscop.ilchurch , Seven teenth and Davenport streets In the morn ing atlOliiO Miss Jennie Smith , national su perintendent railway department of M10 Women's Christian Toinperauco union , will occupy Mr , Morrill's pulpit She Is the au thor of several books and is well worth hearing All are cordially invited to both services Rev J. M. Wilson of the Castollar Street Presbyterian church , and Hov William H. Henderson of the Second Presbyterian church , exchange pulpits ut the morning service Hov William K. Henderson's sub ject at the ovonlng Bcrvlco iu the Secoud Presbyterian church Is "lho Good Man in Ills Estimate and Treatment of Men " At Seward Street Methodist Episcopal church , Hov , II A. Crane will preach at 10:30 : a. m. upon the subject , Food for Thought , " nnd at 7:30 : pm upon "Intolll- gent Faith Its Source nnd Results " The Sunday school meets nt U:30 : u. m. , with Mr A. H. Davis suponntondent Free Bents , full salvation , and evurynody welcome at this church All Saints church Second Sunday in Ad vent , Deeembor 8. The music at the 11 o'clock service will bo Benedicto lu B flat and Boncdlctus In C Florlo ; anthem , And the Glory or the Lord , " trom the Messiah " At the -1 o'clock service , Cantata nnd Deus in C , Ooss : anthem , Hearken Unto Mo , " Sul livan Sti angers always welcome The It o'clock service will bo especially for the members of the Brotherhood of St Andrew , with an address by the bishop Kov Andrew Watson , D. D. , for twenty eight j cars a missionary 111 Egypt , will speak In the Central United Presbyterian church at 10:30 : a. m „ on The Mohammedans " The doctor will also address a union meet ing in the Park * Avenue Presbyterian church lu the evening , on missionary work among the Copts und other sects of Egypt Kountzo Memorial Evangelical Lutheran church , corner of Sixteenth and Harney streets , Rev J , S. Dotweilor , DD , pastor Church services and preaching by the pastor at 10:30 : a 111. and 7:45 : p. in Morning sub ject , "At Evening Time It Shall Uo Light ; ' ! evening subject , "In the Love of God " At tno Southwestern Lutheran church , Twenty-sixth street , between l'oppleton and Woolworth avenues , Rev Luther AI Rutins will proaeh at 11 a. tn on The Complete ness of the Promise , ! ' audi at 7:30 : p. ni on The Kingdom Within Us " ' ' Jennlo Smith will apeak at the First Meth odist Episcopal church Sunday morning , December - comber S , at 10:30. : Peoples church , services at Boyd's opera house on Sunday morning at 10:30 : , and in the evening at 7:15. : Kov Charles W. Sav- Idge , pastor Subject in the morning : Will It Pay ! " In the evening : The Sisterhood " The chorus will be led by Mr Frank S. Smith Sunday school in the af tornnon at 3 o'clock at the Dodga Strcot Mission church , be tween Twelfth and Thirteenth Prof James A. Glllospio , suporintcadent Proachlng both morning and evening at Plymouth Congregutional church by Dr Thain Sunday school at 12ra. Young Peoples ple's Society of Christian Endeavor at 0:30 : p. m. Trinity Cathedral , Capitol avenue and Eighteenth street Very Hov C. H. Gard ner , dean Holy communion at 8 a. 111. Morning prayer and sermon at 11 n. m , Sun day school at .1:15 : p. m. Children's ' scrvlco at 3:45 : p. m. Evening prayer and sermon at 7:30 : p. in The dean will preach in the morn ing on The Word of God " The evening servlco will bo especially for the Brother hood of St Andrew At the First Prosbvtorlan church the pas tor , Hov W. J. Harsha , DD , will preach both morning and evening As there is con siderable discussion just now as to the changes in religious belief during the last century Dr Harsha will deliver two Sub bath evening lectures on that subject Ho v/ill.tako up tbe drift of the Roman Catholic church from Its moorings tonight , and next Sabbath evening will tell how far the Pro testants have glvon up the faith of their Jnthors , touching particularly on the present attitude ot the Presbyterian church Today is the feast of the immaculate con ception , the patron feast for the Catholics of the United States It will be kept with becoming - coming honor nt St Johns colloglato church Solemn high mass will bo sung nt 10:30 : by St Johns choir , augmented by several now voices and with Prof Schonck nt the organ Hov T. S. Fitzgerald will preach the ser mon At 8 p , m. the ordlnory vesper service will do replaced by a solemn closing of the novena which has been in progress during the week There will bo n procession in which the statue of the virgin will bo carried which will bo followed by solemn benedic tion Mrs John Schonk und Mr J. Murphy will sing the "O Salutarlo , " with Prof Schonk presiding at the organ Newman M. E. church , Hov J. E. Ensign , pastor Services as usual , Hovlval service in the oveuing Sabbath school at IS m. , L. O.Jones , superintendent Kpworth prayer mcoting at 0:30 : p. in , Charles Owens , leade Itov Wlllard Scott will resume evening services In the St Mary's ' avenue Congrega tional church at 7:15 : o'clock , speaking in the course of pointed talks to young people oa Our Sundny Afternoon and Evenings " In fant baptisms will bo administered la the morning , Hov Newton M. Mann will preach this morning at Unity church on Visions and Voritlo s. First Baptist Church A. W. Lamar , pastor Morning theme : Studios in the Llfoof Jesus ; " evening theme : The Bible as a Stumbling Block " Flrat Congregational Church , Nineteenth and Davenport streets , Hev J. T. Duyea , DD , pastor Services 10:30 : a. m. and 7:30 : p. m , ; Suuday school 13 tn St Mary's Conjjrcnatlonnl Organ Prof Louis Folk of Chicago will open the now itoosovelt organ of the St Mary's ' Avenue nuo Coogregatlonal church on Thursday evening December 13 , assisted by Mrs Latoy of St Louis as vocalist , whoso many friends In the city will bo glad to see and ber again Tbo inaugural promises to be a feature of the Christmas season of the year Tbo organ Is built by the Now York Arm which is now completing the Auditorium in strument of Chicago , costing 160,000 , which is to be opened on December 0 by Mr , Eddy It is a largo one , costing (5,000 , und will oc cupy the entire third ot the churoh chanool to the left ot the cbolr , showing double fronts of pipes Mr Fain ranks with Mr Eddy in this special work , and U somewhat mora popular in his styles of cpneorts Tbo rooltal is In aid of the organ fund , and it is under tbo conduct ot the ladies ' Mr Heavysldos i suspect your Italian count Hosetta Rosetta O papal - Mr , Heavysldes Well , the fact is , dear , he became - came absentminded at the table today , dashed some vinegar over little Willies hair and began giving him a shampoo , TLIOUGnTS IN LIGHTER VEIN , y Waifs From the $ J'orld ' ot Wit and Hurhor TRIFLED WITH „ ' , lfIS ) GRANDPA r i How Ltttlo Tom 111 r Iienrnoil Why a CntTrcnilH Softly Sonsr or the Tnlr Athtotr Abovc , Yet BcJW ! What Two Dollars Wilt Io Now York \Vookl > ! Trnmp Plcnso , sir , iv couple o' dollars would give mo it nlco , comfortable homo for the win ter ter.Bonovolont Benevolent Party It would ? Well , no mnn shrill sutler nil wlntor long for the snko of only $2. Here is the money "Thankoo , sir " "Uut stop Uow is that amount to glvo vou a homoV" "It'll ' git mo howltn' drunk , sir , an' then the porlico an' the lodge will ro- tlro mo to wlntor quarters , sir " A Dlscroot Youth Puck : Tonohor Well , Vogel , how many ounces make a pound ? Vogel ( the grocers son ) Sixteen ! Teacher Correct ? And how mnny pounds make a hundred weight , Brisket ? Brisket ( the butchers boy ) A hun dred ! Teacher Right again ! Now , Win toistoln , how many hundred wolghtaro there in a ton ? "Wiiitorstoln ( the coal dealers hope ful ) That's a business secret ! ilf Had the Slunins Detroit Free Press : IIo was a tramp ish looking individual , with a cadvor- ous , hungry expression that was as gen uine ns it was suggestive , and ho strode up to the counter of a restaurant on Woodward avenue and asked for a snack "I haven't any money " ho said to the high-toned walter , but If you'll take I'd like blto of and stamps a pie some thin oomforttiblo to wash it down " The waiter suilTed contemptuously , but set a section of pie before the man and turned out a glass ot liquid refresh ments Both disappeared like chnfT before - fore the wind Then the man helped himself to a toothpick and started to go out out."Hero , you ! " called the waiter , whores your stamps ? " "Thoto they are , " said the follow , as ho gave three slumps with his right foot and then thrco moro with his loft , want any moro ! " Uo dodircd a bottle which was thrown after him and was 011V of sight when the waiter reached the ddor in- It Is n Giiin to Jlo Mhiiiincd Jewelers Weekly Miss Prittie Grandma , Mr P.ittoiu/ / , going to glvo inoanolog.uit ring Sctlwith a carbuncle Grandma ( horrllio lr-You ) mugn'tttiko it , ohildl Dent toue " ) i Ul Your grand pap's Undo Joe had ( one o- thorn cur buucles an'died withiit inside o'threo weeks I Grandpa Didn't , 'irend Kollly Chicago Times : U { Grandpa ' , what makes a cat tread softly ? " asked little Tommy Findout of His aged relative as the pair sat down ' ' 'to improve their minds when the evening lamps were lighted , • , ; ' , J r "It is a faculty provided by an all wise Creator , my son , which enables the cat to wnlk softly , " replied the old man as ho laid down his caper and beamed on the youthful seeker after knowledge All members of the cat trlbo are endowed - dewed with a noiseless tread which greatly facilitates their capturing their prey You have doubtless noticed that the pedal extremities of the feline are furnished with soft , volvotv balls or coverings instead of hoofs These balls extend below the claws , which are drawn up when not iu use.onabling the cat to walk across a board floor without the slightest noise " "O , that isn't what makes n cat tread softly , " said Tommy , when the old man had finished "No ? What is it , thou ? " nskod grandpa , "Kats , " replied the boy , while a happy , happy smllo lit up his ingenuous face Shortly after that Tommy wont to bed and the sound of sobbing was hoard far into the night IIo Handled the Dude Philadelphia Press : The days of old in which knights were bold nave passed , but fortunately the successors to homo of these old coves are occasionally to bo mot with , even in these degenerate - ate times Some little time since a pretty little Gormantpwn girl sat in a bobtail car , and opposite her was a young man who made many apparent attempts to begin a iltrlution Next to the young lady was an awkward look ing youth , brawny ana tall , who evi dently lived on a furm in New Jersey IIo observed the ogling of the man across the car for some minutes , while his face nssumod'an expression of great disgust - Turning to the young lady ho stammered : Dent you want that fulo to stop ? " The young lady said she did The Jersoymun arose , and without further ado gruspod the flirtatious youth by the neck with ono hand , yanked the boll strap with the ether , opened the door , jammed the prisoner through it , and ns ho wont out administered a parting kick Then the farmer sat down again by the young lady , murmuring : "S-s-s-sorry I d-d-didn't hev a c-cago , 'n1 a chain I'd cor liked tor t-t-t-tako it h-homo for a VPotS" It Ncvurji alls Detroit Free Press : They had boon friends and noighbota for fiftcon years , but in an evil hourc-no of thom put a telephone into the house and insisted that the ether family should make use of it whenever ocottsion required It was the old , old story After about a month there was . " .poldnoss , and two wopks later even tlj respoctlvo servant girls made up lares u , { each other ever the back fence Then the now minister called at ono of the houses , and ns ho was about to depart nftor hU visit ho inquired : t" " ' Lot mo see D < 5n t the Spondulicks family live next dooW" " ' "SpondulickslSpdriaulicksP'ropoatod the lady Just whit and Ill ask the cook She knows all the washwomen in this neighborhood ! " And when the now letter carrier loft mail for the ether family , ho said : There must bo a family named Gig buck up this way Bomowhoro , Ever hoar of thom ? " "Gigbackl Gigback ! Lots see Ill ask my Tommy if that wasn't ' the name of the man who wanted to take care of our horses and run our lurnaco next wintorl" Hasn't Taken it Off Yet Chicago Times : When a man gets the boat of a bargain it is only natural that ho ehould wish to remain In that happy frame of mind occasioned by the transaction , And it requires strategy cool , subtle cunning to wrest his gains , Ill-gotton or otliorwiso , from his grasp or make him square the account , Honest , upright dealing hoodooa the under man , as the following Incident will show : Two old mon had llvod in the same neighborhood ou the South sltlo for lit tee 11 years Ono ot the old mon has boon in the grocery business all that time and the ether was his constant cus tomer for years But ono day , however , the customer , who is living on the in terest of his money , came in and or- dorcd two pounds of cheese , which the grocer out olT The lump weighed a trifle ever two pounds and , as the grocer wrapped it Up , ho jokingly remarked - marked : "Oh , Ill just take that oft the next time " This happened eight years ago and the customer hasn't boon back siuco A Ftilr Athlnto H'flHam C. S/icpixml. / She could swing a six-pound dumbbell , She could fence , and she could box ; She could row upon the rlvor , She could clamber 'mong the rocks ; She could do some heavy howling , And piny tennis all day long ; But she couldn't help her mother , Cause ' she wasn't very strong ! He U'nH n-Saylnj . Detroit Frco Press : A man led a raw boned , hutnblo-faccd tnulo down ClilTord street jcslordiiy morning , turned into Griswolu and dually disappeared in a blncksmith shop Shoos ? " queried the stalwart smith Yom " Hind ? " Yes " a-s "As I was aying when you catno in " Here ho picked up ono of the raulo's logs and was sent half way across the Bhop by a twist of the animals hip IIo returned to the attack with unrufllod calmnbss , saying : "As I was a-saying when you'n the inulo came in " This time ho got a hind foot In the ribs and was almost knocked ever his anvil Uo braced up , ouotiod his eyes a little wider , and making another grub tor the sumo foot , ho repeated : "As I was a-saying when the mule and youliovo " This time ho got both feet in quick succosslon , and was driven to the wall ton foot away What is it you are trying to toll mo ? ' * asliod the owner of the mule "Whv , I was n-saylng as you turned the corner that if you brought that iu- fornal brute to this shoo I'd break his back with a crowbar , and now you get him out or I"l do itl" She Hint Vlsiteil Koine New YorkSun : The frionda ot a pretty young girl in ono of the suburban towns are tolling under their breath the fol lowing story : The young woman , who is noted for her pretty face and winning ways rather than for her gifts ot mind , has just re turned from a personally conducted tour of several months in Ktuopo And you visited Uoino , ot course , " said a friend on her first morning call Let mo see , " mused the young girl deeply , did wo visit Rorao ? Mamma , did wo visit Rorao ? " Why , child , I dent just remember , but it soonis to mo that wc did ; let mo " see "O ycB , mamma , " broke in the daugh ter , "I know now , of course wo did Dent you remember Rome ? Why.that was ivhero'wo got those lovely cheap stockingsl" Ahnve , Yet llplow Munscu's 11'icM ] / . Isingamaidl always see At the opera , when I go there ; But 1 s't in the gallery , And she iu the , box below there She's fuir as the fairest day in June , " And 1 fondly , madly love her ; Uut I might us well bo the man in the moon , I am up so far above her She no'or will know of the love I hear , She would not care if she ltuow It ; So I sadly sit and worship where It costs but a half to do It "IheSaco of Conoorrl " Lewiston Journal : Over near China I called on business upon an eccentric old lady who lives in an old house I entertained myself looking ever her library I found that she had many in teresting old volumes Wo fell to discussing books , and I presently asked her If she know much about "Thp Sago of Concord " Concord , whero"sho asked shortly Concord , Mass , " I answered "Is't any buttcr'n nny ether sago ? " she innocently inquired I told her that there was a flavor about the Concord Sago much bp my iking , and advised her to got some Almost a Give Away Time : What are the knights of the bat , Mr Dolly ? " asked Amy of her caller "I saw that terra in the paper this morning " Saturday night , usually , " replied Dolly , absont-mlndodly , "or I mean that is to say the knights ot the bat are baseball players , Miss Amy " December 10 , at 8:30 : p. m. POLO , fourth game for the championship Omaha Guards vs O. WO , also general skating trom Cs3J to 10:30 : p ra Admission ic Music , 1 1 w. w. w. STANDS FOR What We Wish To desire the confidence of the Dear Public , to preserve our own self respect , and to subserye mutual interest by furnishing always.to our pat rons , the best material made up in the best styles by the best manufacturers WM F. 1VAPPICII , ATTORNEY AT LAW , rate Secretary Hoard of rubllo Works Cora merctal law and collections , lieat estate and Notary fubllo 403 lice IfulldiiijftOinulin , Neb wbdnesdayIUuIii U " IU " 11 ENGAGEMENT OF ThB CHARMING COMEDIHME Miss Rosina Supported by MR , FELIX MORRIS AND HEH London Comedy Co In the Following Delightful Roportolre : $ Q | Scpa'ato & Distinct P e.s 3 > < E jB at Each rerformano IP * " Monday "A Game of Cards , " and Tim Circus Rider " Tuesday "A DonWc Lesson , " , "In Honor Boil ( Now . Wednesday , "My Milliners ' Bill Ills cart Was True to Toll , " MyLortinLiTcry . 'W ' ) SCAi.it or PutCES Parquet II ; parnuotclrchJU anil tl.OO : balcony 76c und $1 ; general ailmls- Blon76oatul81 ; gnltury & > o , BOYD'S OPERA HOUSE Thursday , December 12th. David5The Shepherd Boy Under tlio Musical Dirertlon of MltS S. E. cruin Cast of Cliaractors : David n. I" . Duncan Abigail ( Quvon of Carmell . Mis S. V. . Ulnpno SiuilKlmrof ( Isarell .1. A. Ilnllinon Jllchiol ( Daughter ot Saul ) Miss Oraco 1'lko Janatliou ( Sou of Saul ) . . , . . . A 11. ICtim .Tesso ( I'nthor ot David ) Jntnos II Conr.nl Samuel tlia l'ronliet Plillln l'nscliel Little David Muster Archer Pratt Admission CO cents Friday and Saturday , Dec 13 and 14 ( Saturday Mnllneo ) % I.ITTLE % | > i.QB.ir < Mrs l'runcls Uodgsnn ilnmctl's Delightful Dramatic Myl , lull nets Uiulor tlic Mniiagoiiicnt or J. II illKNCH Scnlo ot iirlcoi Parquet , ( U ; nnrqupt elrrlp , fIJX ) oiul * I.Gu , balcony TK nnd f I 0J ; iili ry 2x. Matinee rrices SOc , ? 5o und illu gents will be on sale aiiuMday SUNDAY DKCHMUKU S. > H Yielding to general imbllo repicst , j | The Postage Stamp ComsdyGo Have consented to nppcnr In the j H Sparkling Comedy Success , ! H A Social Session The Funniest piny ever written Ho- j H ploto with singing , ilnuclnc ; nnd spue * j H Initios , which uwnkon applniitc , lulmlr- l l ntlon nnd soul-stirring huiglitur j H A COMEDY WITH A PLOT | H In this plot situntlons Iu thcso situ Sl l atlons Inuphtor , which us the plot nnd ll l situations thicken , develops into ono 'l l continual roar Attonttun Is especially tl l called to onch und every department of M l this combination , consisting ot H COMEDIANS VOCALISTS H AOTOHS AND MUSICIANS i H MAGNIFICHNT STAlt ORCIIKSTKA i H UVlCltV SOI.OIM' AN A ItTIbt * . j l POPULAR PRICES IH AUlio < cscats , . Wo i H OirlicMtm il"t ir > .ionn > fiita iT H Allotliur orellentia seats It'ia il H All balcony goats . . . > a H Gallery lji fl l STANDING ROOM ONLY | H Last Sunday night and two weeki nco Similar I H iiiKht was the re-iult of n llrst-clnss cmoiuttii j H nientnt popular iirtiei , Tilt b M ) ix sliest will li * ] open at in n in Secure your seats IU advanca < H and avoid the eiitiig crush W M To entertain thosa who como early , th f M JvR&Wm 1 . . ' . 'V ' * l"rllr " , mrt 1" * do SOLO I H CONUUKT in the foyer fmm 7 : IT p , in l l IEBB1 I Tuesday nnd Satnrdny , Hoc 10 nntl li | H At 8 p. in the f.unnus comedy , H l "GASTE" I iiy Tin : H Omalia Dramatic Company of 1889-90 . ho thebai ofltoftlioMck nnd poor nt H Christum * Itmo " 1 Tlrlu'ls at Max Mayers Krlrk > nii's , Mclnhprc's , | Jlorcnr ) Ollli e. nnd from menibcrimr lho cummin r. < M Hie ! Dc iimltl ( iilllerv' ic M Kvor.Miiie fumhl to sco ilih beautiful plav by homo U tnleut Tnr lllntf , luleicHtutfanu amusing , H 'f ' DAv I Dec 11 & 12. 'JL'lieelltoopeintlo event Stupendous produc- H tlou ut Adolph .Mueller's JtomamtcOucia H THE KINGS ' FOOL I Uy the Cunrlcd Opera Company H 0-7 I liMcoloiedoloetrlclIclitH a carloads H O I ( of gorgeous sccnciy alio beautiful H I lady fencers Marches of kalusdos- H I topic beauty , Uiaud orchestra The I H Aptirjln [ greatest stage lnxostlture ever ac- l H III llulu-Jcordod comic opoia In Amoricn , f H fiox Bheot open Tuesday morning I'rlcos , if H $1.00. $1.00 , 75c , CUc and -5c. 1 1 Paaolci , Mm nf War mil Hall of America , I CQRNER lltli AND FARUAM STREETS Week of Monday , Dec 9th. I TIE BiSeiST &m BEST OF M.L I MeniBinlCDtalili 1 Tills Talentfld Due will execute tlio most dimcult and Astonishing Trick and Fancy Illllo and Pis- 'i-l l tel shooting at eaoli performance This little lady has earned the title of " .MTTIjKSUKU nIH ; allOT " llreaklng glass balls , shooting ashes fiom cigars.shooting moving objectssboot N * H ing with mirror , runcybtiots executed vthllo tuispouduil fiom the celllug , and alltocou- V H elude with their Sensational Finish-firing : io shots each nnd maiclng UO bulls eyes ' jg H In tlio short space of TEN SUCOND3 , - ' ' 1 THE M0NTALIENS I In a Terrific Broadsword Assault-at Arms | B 7 Great Exhibition Departments I LEW AND DELLA WALTERS , ] Refined Novel Specialties iH RFri\/IPr\7IRP"R That ono ticket takes you to Uotu Theaters , and that continuous fjO tti IV1 CIVI D I * r performances take place In both at the same time A FACT a com * ' ' ; H panics on 2 stages In two theaters present two shows dully trom 1 to 10 n. m , The limit has been „ - ! reached , and the mind of man cannot coucjlvo how more cau be buowu , . - B 10c Admits to All 10c I