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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 17, 2000)
'Replacements'suffers from unbelievable plot, dumb mistakes BY SAMUEL MCKEWON Yet another movie has mis taken The Police song “Every Breath You T&ke” as some sort of love ballad. This time, it is the football flick “The Replacements,” which, among other things, plays the song over a key roman tic sequence in the movie - you know, when the quarterback and the head cheerleader figure they’ve got a little something in common. Has the director, Howard Deutch, ever listened to the song? The words, I mean? It is a song about a stalker. Not a romance deemed happily ever after. And yet here - and in movies like "Runaway Bride” - it is used as the culmination of courtship. “The Replacements” uses 30 songs, which I believe outnum bered the actual football plays run by the strike-breaking squad of misfits and bums that over come all to win the big game. I am ruining this ending because I don’t want to you see this movie. It is a piece of trash. A rough plot outline: There’s a fictional team in Washington. The real players (About 10 of them symbolize an entire league.) go on strike. For some reason or another, the team no longer has a coach so the owner hires Gene Hackman. The coach goes out to find Keanu Reeves, a quarterback who blew the Sugar Bowl for Ohio State and dropped out of the game to scrape barnacles off a boat because, apparently, he received no degree at Ohio State and chose to eschew the free ride several famous college ath letes enjoy and live life on the low seas. The quarterback meets Brooke Langton, an ex-“Melrose Place” actress who plays the cheerleader forced to hire an entirely new squad, too, even though cheerleaders have no union and wouldn’t have quit. So she hires ex-strippers who spank each other on the ass and distract the other team. The quarterback and the cheerleader get together. “Every Breath You Thke” plays. Then the quarterback rescues the team from imminent defeat to pre dictable victory in the big game. Cheap monologue runs over their celebration. Movie ends. “The Replacements” is lit tered with colorful, stupid char acters, who are funny once and then are never funny again. It may have helped if someone - anyone at all - involved in the production knew something about football, or spelling. Or anything. Some examples: ■ The team name is the Washington Sentinals, which would be fine, if sentinals was a word, which it isn’t until it’s spelled sentinels. Which would be fine, too, if the plural form of sentinel wasn't the same word. ■ A “Sentinals” coach remarks that the offense is “run ning right through us” when, in fact, the opposing team has yet Please see MBIUB on B5 i-^ i / WELCOME BACK UNL! i OET5 PARTY!*, Mllkl hklMtelMlil CINEMA TWM DOUGLAS EAST PARK THE PLAZA 4 aougtPfceatre s . cam Moiyte Info Un>: 441*0122 ■BBBOHBBBBHBBBBHBBBBBBBBBaBBBBHBI L_--—— for the University of Nebraska Wind Ensemble and Symphonic Band. „ August 22-24,2000 Contact the band office for an appointment. 472-2505 dailyneb.com •Cutting edge fashions •Leather and vinyl •Theme party outfits •Hip buggers and flairs •Platforms & knee boots •Jewelry & body jewelry •Wild & rude t-shirts •Accessories, hats & ohn/lapc DfUiUCd •BIG SALE RACK 122 So. 52nd V 483-BAND J boogs.com * TITLES 1 ERYBAYI P * -kS^r A -■ . *. Ar