Page 12
Booze and
TRAINS from Page 10
Daily Nebraskan
ti on the rails
Thursday, June 11, 1987
boredoi
"Are you sure we're going
big enough for two or three people to Platte."
huddle in the wind. Luckily, we found west?")
one with a platform over the wheels. It is a calm, peaceful, relaxing, and
And so the journey beings. not too darn windy night. Unlike high
Now, after safely boarding the train, ways, railroad tracks are virtually free
it's time to celebrate. Out of the of all those nuisance signs and bill
Backpack of Necessities comes the boards that clutter up highways, so the
present at the beginning, only three of bottle of fine champagne. Total ex- scenery is beautiful. After a time,
them were actually able to board the penses so far; $3.79. Destination: North perhaps an hour or two, Oust over a
Platte, because apparently one of us liter) we come to a city. vVe can roughly
At approximately 1:30 a.m., four or
five shadowy figures allegedly run up to
a slow moving train just west of down
town Lincoln. Although possibly as
many as four or five sojourners were
vehicle. Another of the drawbacks of
trains, I guess.
This particular train had been pre
viously designated as the Do-or-Die
Vehicle, because about half a dozen
had already been allowed to pass un
challenged. This one however, had no
open boxcars. At each end of every coal
car there is a small crouch area, just
knows somebody there who'll actually
give us a ride back.
Anyway, now the hard part is over
it's time to sit back, relax, enjoy the
wine, and chat about how easy it is to
find rides to North Platte. ("Don't
worry, all westbound tracks out of
Lincoln have to go through North
make out a sign in the distance about
Beatrice Waste Disposal Site or some
thing like that. Boy, how about that
Beatrice. They must own everything.
Funny Coincidence, we laugh amongst ,
ourselves. There's a Beatrice in Ne
braska, south of Lincoln. By the Kansas
See TRAINS on 13
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June 10-August 1, 1987
LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
THE HAPPY TIME
THE FOREIGNER
THEATRE BOX OFFICE
109 Temple Bldg. 12 & R Sts.
Lincoln, NE 68583-0201
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CD
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
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Ticket Prices
Single Admission Sf.5() Adults
$3.00 Children .
(under 12)
Croup Rale (20 or more) $4.00
(musl attend together)
Three-Ticket-Packct $ 1 5 .00
SAVE NEARLY ONETHIRD
You can'l boat that!
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Courtesy of Columbia Pictures
Hoffman and Deatty stranded in movie.
Film shame of road pics;
'Ishtar' bites the dust
By Chris McCubbin
Staff Reporter
,f!flpRA(?P7A
3 H 0 iu Dsdu J m 1b, rod J
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48th & Calvert Lincoln, NE 68506
402 489-0800
Toll-Free In Nebraska 800 742-0091
Toll-Free Outside Nebraska 800 443-8091
In the '40s two mismatched but tal
ented entertainers, (Bob Hope and
Bing Crosby) together with their sexy
co-star (Dorothy Lamoure) created, by
accident, some of the most delightful
low comedy ever.
In the '80s two mismatched but tal
ented actors (Warren Beatty and Dus
tin Hoffman) together with their sexy
co-star (Isabelle Adjani) created, on
purpose, a mess called "Ishtar."
Before I proceed to savage this
movie, let me say that "Ishtar" is fre
quently very entertaining, and if you do
decide to plop down your money to see
it, you'll probably leave amused.
But there are flaws to this film that
simply cannot be excused. First there's
its budget. "Ishtar" would have made a
very nice $1 million film, even a $5 or
$10 million film. But it's more than
annoying to think that about $50 million,
that could have (and should have!)
gone to feed starving third-world child
ren, instead went to allow prima-donnas
like Hoffman and Beatty to act like
dorks.
As I mentioned, "Ishtar" is (more or
less) a tribute to the HopeCrosby
"Road Movies" ("Road to Zanzibar,"
"Road to Morocco," etc.) These seven
films, made mostly in the '40s, were
silly, chaotic, micro-budget affairs which
worked solely because of the inexpli
cable comicWsson which existed be
tween the stars.
Hoffman and Beatty completely lack
this frisson. Hope and Crosby played
fools, but they were likeable, charming,
clever fools. Hoffman and Beatty come
off merely as annoying morons.
In "Ishtar" Beatty and Hoffman play
Rogers and Clarke, a singingsongwrit
ing duo so bad they can only get a gig at
the "Chez Casablanca" nightclub in
Marakesh.
The film's first 20 minutes, recount
ing the duo's origins in New York, is
pointless and interminable the
movie's low point right at the beginning.
Rogers' and Clarke's excruciatingly
bad songs rapidly go from amusing to
buzzsaw annoying. The film's original
music was performed by veteran
schlockster Paul Williams, together
with director Elaine May and Beatty
and Hoffman. How much Paul Williams
can one movie stand? Not this much.
When Hoffman and Beatty are off
screen, or separated, May occasionally
manages to produce an uncommonly
amusing scene. Separately Hoffman's
character is quite a bit funnier than
Beatty's clumsy Jethro Bodine im
personation. May ("The Heartbreak Kid," "Mikey
and Nickey") is an undeniably skilled
and subtle comic director, but she is
relatively inexperienced. When her two
mega-stars (and, incidentally, her boss;
Beatty produced "Ishtar") are on screen
they inevitably whisk the film right out
of May's gifted hands and pound it into
a shapeless lump of Three Stooges
noise.
Charles Grodin gives the film's best
comic performance as an amiably sin
ister CIA agent. Also watch for Matt
Frewer (AKA Max Headroom) as another
CIA agent in a brief but hilarious scene.
I don't know what it costs to rent a
couple of helicopters, some vultures, a
camel and some desert, but "Ishtar" is
definitely not worth $500 million. It
might be worth your $4, if you're very,
very bored, but you're probably better
off waiting for it to hit HBO.
