Tuesday, November 20, 1904
Daily Nebraskan
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Brawl amongst Thanksgiving foods creates
chaotic disruption at peaceful holiday dinner
It's that time of year again. All
over the nation turkeys and var
ious other birds are beginning to
suffer from hypertension and
paranoia because they can't fig
ure out why their buddies keep
disappearing. Maybe one day
they'll piece the whole conspiracy
together and end up eating us on
TV trays in front of the Thanks
giving Day game. But let's not let
the plight of the turkeys spoil our
fun.
Mark
Holt
Thanksgiving is a wonderful
holiday. Not only does it provide
us with an opportunity to eat
more food in a day than Ethiopia
has produced in this century, but
"it gives an ordinarily worthless
vegetable, the pumpkin, some
thing to do with itself. Next to
okra, the pumpkin is quite possi
bly the most downtrodden, mis
understood piece of produce on
the market. Often the victim of
cruel abuse and callous pranks
by the other more conventional
vegetables, our round orange
friend is given a much-deserved
chance to shine during November
of each year.
This seems ideal on the sur
face, but all is not quiet on the
buffet table. Since pumpkins are
represented in pks, cranberries
must also be given equal time.
And they make their presence
known very well in sauces. You
see, unlike the unified food groups,
the fruit and vegetable group has
a wide party split that makes
decision making difficult, if not
impossible. Border skirmishes, for
example, are becoming more and
more common in produce aisles
all over the country. The sweet
potatoes are pushing for equal
pay and lower tariffs, the berry
section is lobbying for prayer on
delivery trucks, tempers Care, and
before the stockers can be called
in, there are a lot of bruised,
unsellable bananas.
Obviously, the capacity for a
brawl or at least some nasty name
calling will exist at many dinner
tables this Thursday. Oh, it's safe
not to expect anything as major
as the situation in the Middle
East with the warring leftist dates
and kumquat guerrillas, but the
fruits and vegetables are an un
predictable lot. Given to childish
displays of emotion, they can eas
ily turn a quiet holiday meal into
a juice bath. The pumpkin is usu
ally very shy and reserved, but
after being egged on by a bunch of
frenzied, vicious cranberries,
complete chaos could erupt.
Thanksgiving can be loads of
fun, but nothing can put a damper
on a good time faster than foods
fighting with each other. Respect
your produce. Love fruits and
vegetables equally. But don't be
afraid to bruise; they need to be
handled firmly. Sit between the
hostile parties if necessary, or
force them to stand in the corner
of the vegetable bin in the refrig
erator. Just play it safe, for good
ness sake, and have a good
Thanlcsgiving.
Expert
Watch and Jewelry
Service and Sa!es
Time-Out
Watch and Jewelry
Center .
V
assmrass
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Permanent part-time position available. Weekday,
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Start after Thanksgiving. Apply in person. Mike's "O"
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14th S "Q" '
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Downtown In the
Sky walk
by Miller and Paine
i IT'S NOT FRAGGLE ROCK . ... IT'S II
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A.u PRIES AND SL3CED
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L
WW
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Tonite At BO'S
(THRU SATURDAY)
it's a party!
v: V it V -&-iV -A' V tV V tV -jV
BE ON THE LOOKOUT ...
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will be playing Mon., Nov. 26 thru Sat, Dec. l
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C J1
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Wa'rs stil! hera, behind the
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tossrvsyou!
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