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Lisa Elrabsch's Celiacs Ecclr, BIO pp., Ealler.tir.3
Coc&s, C3.S3.
How many of you actually think Nebraska is The
Harvard of the Plains"? Come on, raise those hands a
little higher.
OK, put them down, because you won't believe that
after you read Lisa Birnbach's essay on UNL in her new
guide to colleges.
You may remember Birnbach as the author of "The
Official Preppy Handbook," which caused Izod to record
Book
Review
huge profits and parents to wonder when their children
changed their names to Biff and Muffy.
That success led to a project of higher magnitude
finding out the bests and worsts of colleges across the
nation.
Birnbach traveled to 1 86 campuses in her three years
of research. She claims she actually ate residence hall
food, went to parties and sat in classes. Her observations
are supplemented by questionnaires returned by stu
dents from each school
She emphasizes Eastern schools in the 51 6-page tome,
but she does evaluate seven of the Big Eight schools. For
some reason, she leaves out Kansas State, but Kansas
State is left out of a lot of things.
What Birnbach has to say about Nebraska is not
particularly flattering.
She begins her two-page essay by mentioning the
influence Nebraska football has over the uriversity.
"Football is that which makes the university famous,
she wrote.
Birnb&ch qnctes a student: "I have a few jocks in
my class and I never see them. How do they graduate
when they're on the road? They have groupies and it's
really bad. They are partiers (sic) and they can get any
girl they want..."
Black athletes also are degraded. A student leader
told her, "Let's face it, this place is South Africa."
Because black football players date white sorority girls
"the apartheid never had it so gocd," according to
Birnbach.
' Greeks recruit "as aggressively as Fuller Brush sales
men." People in Greek organizations think they are more
connected to UNL than non-Greeks, she says.
P.O. Pears is described by her as a meat market. The
Daily Nebraskan provides the token liberal point of view
r
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in Lincoln. Love Library ho the reputation of "harboring
perverts."
Yes, Birnbach does evaluate academics. Geography
professor Bruce Kopplin (spelled Koppliu by her) and
art instructor Dave Head are the school's best Gut
easy-to-pass classes are Agricultural Communication
SOD and Music Theory 387.
In a listing of campus attributes compiled from
responses to her questionnaire, the best residence halls
ax e Abel, Schramm and Neihardt, the worst, Pound and
Selleck Quadrangle Vcrst place off campus is around
25th Street, which hits close to my home.
Even in list, Birnbach csjt avoid controversy.
She says the Lifirmary (University Health Center) takes
a passive role in providing birth control The presence of
gays is "more than people realize, but net very prevalent."
Interspersed throughout the book are short essays
and quizzes on topics such as high school vs. college, a
roommate desirability list and the definitive "pull-out"
chart.
How doc3 Birnbach view the other Big Eight schools
she visited?
Icwa State's campus is fraught with sameness. "People
look alike and share a set of neutral points of view." At
Colorado, even those who are unhappy are happy in
Bouldef. Four people usually share a two-bedroom
apartment that rents for $615, which leaves enough
allowance "to get smashed almost every night of the
week."
People are so satisfied with Kansas that they say they
have difficulty leaving, usually taking a minimum of five
years for their bachelor's degree. For most of Missouri's
students, Columbia "is the big time."
According to Birnbach, religion i3 strong at Oklahoma
State. Coke dates are popular, and the Campus Crusade
for Christ sent a bus down to Daytona Beach.
Oklahoma's favorite hangout b Deriko's, which is the
best in the nat ion. There, you eat a Denko's Darlin' and
then buy a T-shirt that reads "I Ate My Darlin' at
Denko's." Birnbach says that is a ritual almost as
important as registering for freshman classes.
I fua csnfhsed as to Birchbach's intent in writing
the "College Dock". Does she mesa it to be a guide that
high school seniors can use to accurately select a college,
or is it another attempt at humor? A IccsJ bookstore
shelved the beck kv both the hrr.ior and study aid'
sections, adding to, rather than reserving the question.
Much of what Birnbach said about UNL is beltevsMa
Her description of U se Greek system is not insulting, scd
even some statements about blacks and athletes ere
trae, though we may not want to admit to them.
She does generalize, and some could even be charac
terized as fictional reality for the sake of humor.
As a book intended o humor for college students, I
found it entertaining and informative. For a high school
student trying to select a college, the generalities would
distort any decision.
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Shorts
Art Gaibraith and Gordon
McCann, traditional Ozark
musicians, will perform in Lin
coin Friday and Saturday
through the Mid-America Arts
Alliance Program. On Friday
they will offer a free jam ses
sion in the Sheldon Gallery
Gardens at 3:30 p.m. The
gardens are on the UNL cam
pus at 12th and R streets. The
public is welcome to attend
and bring musicial instru
ments if they like.
On Saturday, Gaibraith and
McCann will appear from 5 to
7 p.m. at the Acreage, 2700
SaltiHo Ed. They will be a part
of the weekend folk festival
sponsored by LAFTA (Lincoln
Area Folk and Traditional
Artists) and the Acreage. Ad
mission to the festival, includ
ing the Gaibraith and McCann
concert is $2. Both appearan
ces are sponsored by the Lin
colnLancaster Senior Centers
Foundation.
The lata Oxarks fcIMerisi
braith the best Ozarks' fiddler
he'd ever heard. A fiddler for
65 years, Gaibraith plays the
ScottishOzark tunes horn
pipes, jigs, and reels handed
down in his family for genera
tions, as well as more contem
porary waltzes, rags and blues.
Since 1976, Gaibraith has
been accompanied by Gordan
McCann, a fine guitarist and
noted collector of Oark folk
lore and music. Gaibraith and
McCann's authentic style and
audience-pleasing fare have
won them invitations to such
mrjor folk festivals the Nat
ional Folk FestivsJ at TlfTrap
Parle, the San Diego State Col
lege Folk Festival and the
Frontier Fclldife FcsthT.il at
the St Louis Arch.
Vance Rudolph c
ArtGal-
This program is made possi
ble by support frcm the Ne
braska Arts Council and the
National Endowment for the
Aits, through their participa
tion in Mid-American Arts Al
liance, a regional arts crgani-
Student perfo
ski oi mJ ) .
T' m 1?
tmz
Saturday's Homecoming foot
KsSeI will fl"ttrtrtk tfao ri5rir5t
throwing, tackling, blocking
ana c trier assorted skills of the
UNL football team, but several
UNL students will showcase
their own talents in another
homecoming event tonight.
A barbershop quartet, a
comedian and a dancing gym
nast are among the performers
scheduled to entertain the
audience at the Homecoming
Talent Show, tonight at 8 p.m.
Local musician and come
dian Scott Jones will emcee
the show.
UPC Walpurgisnacht Chair
person Cynde Distefano said
the winners of the talent show
will receive trophies and the
opportunity to be affiliated
with the American College
Talent Search. Videotapes of
the winners will be sent to the
talent search for further com
petition. .
The eight final acts were
chosen from auditions of some
23 acts, Distefano said.
Jones plays pimo and gui
tar and does comedy. In addi
tion to working & large college
circuit, he has performed with
Nick Gilder, 'Dsvfd Bromberg,
Dr. Timothy Leary and Michael
Murphy.
Jones will perform a 30
minute teaser r.t 5 pjn. today
in The Terrace - in the East
Campus Union. Thst perfor
mance is free. As master of
ceremonies at the talent show,
he will perform before and
between acts.
Talent show admission is t2
for students and $3 for non
students. A Homecoming event,
the show is co-sponsored by
UPC W&lpurgisnacht and the
UFC-E.sst Kaleidoscope com
mittee. Performers are:
Harmony Jam, vocals
Stacy Giannt, dance and
gymnastics
John Jewett, male vocal
'John Boykin, eeGiedkn
Sandra Knecht, female vocal
Mike DeXanter, piano solo
Dsva Sjulin, male vocal
Trash Can Alley, barbershop
qusxtet
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