TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7,1934
Pago 10
A SUPPLEMENT TO THE DAILY N ED R AS KAN
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By JEFF GOODWIN
Despite more liberal views by society in recent
years toward marriage, an enormous amount of
pressure still is put on young people to marry, said
the counselor-coordinator of the Family Service
kSsociation.
Mary Grabowski said young people often are
pressured into marriage by their families and
friends.
"Society's value systems say that marriage is the
goal," Grabowski said. "Our society prompts young
people to find a partner to marry."
Grabowski, who has been a counselor for seven
years, said people marry for many reasons.
"Some believe in the ideology (of marriage)," she
said. "They marry because they want security and
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they think marriage will provide that. Some, partic
ularly women, marry because they dont want to
figure out how to survive. Some marry because they
see marriage as a passage into adulthood.
Grabowski said some of society's attitudes have
eased in recent years.
"It used to be that pregnancy was a reason for
marriage," she said. "That is less so now that society
has changed." . , .
Grabowski said the recent trend of couples who
live together before they marry has not necessarily
reduced marital problems for those couples.
"So often people who live together say that they
didnt know each other until they were married "she
said. "I think research will pretty much prove that
(living together) doesnt make a lot of difference.
However, Grabowski said living together before
marriage sometimes enables couples to decide if
they're ready for marriage.
"Couples are putting off the decision to marry,
she said. "A generation ago if you lived together you
did it very secretly. It was against the law in some
cases."
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home later also can be hard on a marriage, she said
Older couples often find they have lost touch with
each other after their children have left home.
Grabowski said she predicts that in the future one
or more of the parents in many families may have
remarried.
"Step families or blended families are quickly
becoming the norm," she said. "Ninety to 05 percent
of the babies born this year will spend part of their
live in a one-parent family."
Parents need to raise their children to make their
own decisions, Grabowski said.
"Parents need to let children know they have a
right to make decisions about their life," she said.
They need to know they dont have to make deci
sions out of insecurity."
Grabowski said couples should have common
interests. They also should be able to trust each
other.
"Their parents should be someone who has first
become a friend," she said. "It should be someone
they share goals with and values with."
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