ACADEMY AWARD PROGRAM
'Darling' "irresistiblep
Lanrrnc Harrer
JulU ChrUtU
ALIO
CAT BAILOR
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Y.C. Corporation
has openings for several college
men to work this summer in
sales and marketing depart
ment. $160 a week for 12 weeks
plus incentive bonus which
usually averages from $300 to
$000. Car is necessary. No ex
perience. W will train men
selected.
Call 488-4414
For Appointment
To Resign?
Rumors have circulated
the Pink Eye office that the
present editor, Joe Stealing
males, does not intend to re
sign from her post as editor
to let Vain Kruscher take
over as editor.
When asked whether she
would remain on the paper
staff indefinitately, the edi
tor replied, "There is no
truth to the rumor. After
all, how could I stay on
when meanwhile at the Uni
versity another faculty
member is resigning?"
Discover the
of Yamaha
Person's
Sport Shop
2023 O
Lincoln, Nebraska
Phone 432-3889
THIS FRIDAY &
SATURDAY, 8 P.M.
UNIVERSITY
THEATRE
Preterit
A Fierce, Tender,
Funny Drama
Box Office Room 108
Temple Bldg.
Phone Ext. 2072-73
Thanks Enema!
Slappa Welt juniors thank
Enema Summerer for a suc
cessful sneak. All got drunk!
if she doesn't give it to you .. .
get it yourself!
JADE EA5T:
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: . r I n.. .... J a
. . k. ' r - ; , , v
j. : 1 , -'sv . -i :
' .: 3'.".-: 1 . B T i a i. a
,.Mi ilimii ? -- i ' . - ,i mv .
Cologne, 6 oi., (4-90
A ft or Shavt, 6 oi., $3.50
Ooodorint Stick, S1.7S
Buddha Colognt Oltt Packaga,
Spray Cologne, S3. 50
Buddha Soap Gift Sot, S4.00
Cologna, 4 oz., $3.00
After Shavo, 4 or., S 2.S0
tWANK, NEW YORK - iOLC OlSTRIOUTOft
DANCE IN MARYSVILLE
at the
DRIFTWOOD CLUB
Marysville, Kansas
Combos Friday and Saturday night
Friday admission 50c
Saturday admission $1.00
Fly As A
Stewardess
This Surcsnssr
(WITH REGULAR STEWARDESS PAY
& BENEFITS)
CAMPUS
REPRESENTATIVE
During the 1966-67 schol year, a perm
anent, part-time employee for United
Air Lines.
Maximum 20 hrs per month
salary $2.50 per hour
Single, 5' 2"-5'9", Weight
In proportion to height
Must be 20 years of age by July 25
Vision-correctible to 2030
(glasses or contacts permitted)
Sophomore or unior class standing
All company benefits
Free & Reduced travel for you
and your parents
TRAINING WILL
START JUNE 20
Campus Interviews
May 9
CONTACT YOUR PLACEMENT OFFICE
Aa Equal ODPortunllr Implour
VZ7 UNITED d
7
THE EXTRA CARE AIRLINE
Witter Clapnet Ca
By FRANK ARCH
Being a little seniorish
and not understanding the
University as well as I once
did when I was sophomor
ish and even juniorish I
will try to explain myself.
Once upon a day when I
was a sophomore and still
a good guy, I decided ev
eryone must be bad. I found
that if I acted like a good
guy people would think I
was stupid, naive or a push
over. So once I had my hood,
had lost my office and had
become an ageless, old and
learned senior I became
a "dirty old man."
When I growl laugh at
me. When 1 ignore you, it's
not cause I don't like you,
but probably just cause I
don't know you, or if I do
I'm just a little quiet.
If I walk right by your
desk for days, or if I pass
you on the street and sort
cf cut you down into little
pieces with one stare, please
ignore me, it's just that I'm
afraid as a senior to be a
good-guy.
It's a cold, ruthless world
and one thing I never want
people to know is what a
good guy I really am inside.
I never want people to know
that I'm actually very sen
sitive to them and I never
hear a sad story without
crying.
Also, even though I might
act like it I really don't
know everything. I don't
want to know everything
and I never will. Most sopho
mores actually know more
than I do.
Another thing I'd like to
make clear is that I actual
ly love the dorms, especial
ly Cather. Kent Newmaster
is my friend and both TV
Econ and the parking on
this campus really aren't as
bad as I've sometimes said.
I'd also like to point out
again and again that I real
ly do like sophomores and
juniors. They are young
enough that their minds
aren't tired of this school
Don't just sit there,
Wallace Middendorp.
Make a noise. Or drink-:
noisy soft JLv
drink.
What did you do
when Joe (Boxcar)
Brkczpaluj was
kicked off the
football team Just
because he flunked
six out of four of
his majors? What
did you do, Wallace
Middendorp?
And when the
school newspaper's
editors resigned In
mm v w ww " I.
tmmmmmmmatmmmmmmimm
WALLACE MIDDENDORP SAT HERE
protest because The Chancellor wouldn't allow the
publication of certain salacious portions of
"Nieht In a Girl's Dormitory"
r you Just sat, didn't you?
1 You've made a mockery of your
f"" I life, Wallace Middendorp 1
rTTTJl I You're a vegetable.
........... w r ,
Take a stand. Make a noise I
Or drink Sprite, the noisy soft
drink.
Open a bottle of Sprite at
the next campus speak-out. Let
it fizz and bubble to the
masses .
Let its lusty carbonation
echo through the halls of ivy.
Let its tart, tingling
exuberance Infect the crowd
with excitement.
Do these things, Wallace
Middendorp. Do these things.
RITE. SO TART and what big corporation is
Mi TINGLING. going to hire you?
WE JUST COULDN'T
KEEP IT QUIET,
Uiuikfismnj
dloiV dbout What? Editor's Note:
and narrow. They are still
idealistic enough to look
stupid sometimes, but they
accomplish something.
In summary I want to
stress even if I act like it
sometimes I'm not a bad
guy. Even if I ignore you
sometimes I really don't
dislike you. Even if I sound
bitter sometimes I really am
PINKEYE NOTE: This
column really wasn't writ
ten by Frank Arch, but it is
the editorial opinion of the
Pinky that Arch is a good
guy and somethings works
too hard at being a "dirty
old man."
The Annual Crime
We know that out strong stand in
this editorial will not be popular; but we
believe in the strength of the press to
get things done. We are willing to take
all the criticism and nasty remarks that
follow this editorial, because we feel deep
ly that justice and right should prevail.
Every year at this time a small,
green plant is planted on our beloved
University grounds. And every year
the small baby plant dies.
Now we ask: Is it in the great Amer
ican tradition of justice and love for all
that a small, green, immensely tender
plant should be set out on the plains of
the campus, only to be met with winds,
rain, hail, and all other sorts of horrid
tortures that Nasty Nature wishes to im
pose? Does no one care? Can no one find
it in their hearts to aid this teensy, ween
sy living creature? Animal mothers give
tender loving care to their young; even
humans change their babies' diapers
why should a baby Ivy plant be put out
to meet an inevitable slow, torturous
death every year?
And more the horrors at this an
nual crime when one considers who
considers who does the unmerciful
killing the presidents of the senior
honorarians.
Yes, the two "outstanding" leaders
of the University they are the ones who
do this dread deed every year.
If they were called before a judge he
would give them the severest sentence
yet every year these two plant killers
cermoniously dump an infant Ivy plant
into the sun-baked, hardened, dry, and
dirty dirt.
Laughingly, they toss water around
the plant . . . only to give it unfounded
hopes of survival. And then they go about
their business of the day . . . picking on
juniors who will perpetuate the crime the
next year.
It is time to decry these plant
murderers. It is time to bring them
to justice. It is time they suffered for
their evil ways.
Never more should a little, depen
dent Ivy plant die because of their plant
neglect. Never more should the Univer
sity give aid and support to the annual
ceremonious murder commited by these
honoraries. .
Crime does not pay, and they must
pay for their crime. We propose that
every member of the senior honoraries
tend to this tender Ivy plant they so wil
lingly destroy
We believe that these "outstand
ing" seniors should decide among
themselves to serve on a rotating bas
is, as plant mothers and fathers to
this newly-born Ivy plant. They should
work In the hot sun, protect the in
fant plant, water it, give nurture to
it, and give it the greatest tender lov
ing care.
This means that when it rains, they
cover the plant with an umbrella to pro
tect the tiny tendrils from the contin
uous slashing and pounding of the temp
ests. When the scorching, burning sun
breathes its hot breath on the helpless
Ivy, they must stand by and give the
plant relief in the shade of their bodies.
When the winds blow and gust over
the campus plains, they must stand as a
group around the flimsy foliage, to shelter
it from the ravages of the tumultuous
wind.
Only then can this annual plant
ing be honorable. Only then can these
senior members gain the prestige they
so avidly seek. Only then will other
students respect them for what they
are plant protectors, in the great
American tradition of motherhood and
love of youth.
Being a compendium of seriousness,
straightforwardness, and little comment,
selected fairly by the Editor . . .
Herein, the Pink Eye will state its
purposes in understandable terms.
We belive in the sanctity of journa
lism. We believe that journalism should
be forthwrite, informative and of service
to the public.
We believe that there is no room for
degradation of individuals or groups.
We believe that humor has no place
in a campus newspaper.
We believe that a newspaper must be
governed at all times by the bounds of
prudishness, in order to be effective.
We believe that news articles should
give just the facts, with no bias or pre
judice evident (it should remain w e 1 1 -hidden.)
We believe that student journalists are
capable, mature, good writers, who re
port only what they know, and write noth
ing of hearsay or rumor.
We believe there should be a Pink
Rag every year as the ultimate example
of these goals.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.
Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The flowers is.
The Pink Eye would like to go on
record here as saying that the adminis
tration at this university is undoubtedly
the most effective, honest, commendable
group ever to rule the University.
When told of our feelings, Chancellor
Cliff Hanger was heard to reply, "I am
so thrilled that you think this! I would is
sue a statement, but another faculty mem
ber just turned in his resignation."
.. We would also like to add our com
pliments to the diversified Crib menu. One
student was heard in the Union talking
to another while they were waiting out
side the Crib to get into the line.
"Boy, I can hardly wait to eat one
of these Crib hamburgers," he said. "Can't
decide if I'll use catsup or mustard to
change the pace a little today."
(V.
One of the Pink Eye's 136 roving re
porters stopped a student at random and
asked the question? "How do you like
Ivy Day?"
The student replied, "How About
What?"
Jo Slohlmmi, editor
Mike Kirkman, business manager
I ".K i.iii 'iii i iiii.if
Paper Is Congratulated
Dear Editor,
I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading this
semester's paper. I can't believe what an improvement
it is over past efforts at publishing a student event sheet.
You really do good work.
I also heard that you will be leaving the staff after1
this semester. I think that's really sad, because I really
enjoy reading your editorials. They say so much.
The best part of the paper is the sports, page, thottgiv
I didn't realize that sports was so big at the University.
Someone told me that the Cornhuskers were a good foot
ball team; times sure have changed since I went to the.
University.
I have only one small gripe about your paper. Xb.e
last time my name appeared, it was misspelled. I know
you will print a correction as soon as possible.
With affection,.
Your father
Paper Is Commended
Dear Editor, 11!"
I am writing in to commend you on your paper. I
think that it is the best paper I have ever read since"!
came to tha University forty-five years ago.
I am a graduate student working on my fifth doctor'3
degree. (I just hate the thought of going out in the cruel
world of business.)
Your paper coverage is excellent; your cartoons are
exemplary; your editorials are tremendous. The only
thing that is bad about the paper are those insipid letters.
You ought to train letters to the editor writers to write.
But other than that, your paper is absolutely un-equaled.
With love,
Your mother
Paper Is Praised
Dear Editor,
Your paper is great! I don't know enough adjectives
to express how wonderful and beautiful and beautiful it
is. I bet your journalism teacher is really proud of you
... do you get all "A's" in journalism?
I am really proud to know you. I just love your editor
ials. You are pretty controversial, aren't you? Someone
told me that at the beginning of the semester people thought
you were a boy. How silly of them !
Who does your cartoons? Do you? I heard you drew a
couple. They really are good. There should be some kind
of competition for your cartoonists ... I bet they'd win
lots of awards.
The most interesting thing about the paper, though, is
the pinnings and engagements column. Like to check up
on my friends in it. You wonder what some of them see
in each other.
Have you ever thought about starting a society page?
I bet the sororities would love it, especially if you had
a Greek for editor. She could put in lots about her soror
ity house.
I also think you could start a comics page. Then
more people would read the paper.
I don't mean to say it's not already good without these
ideas ... I know it's the best paper ever now.
Best wishes,
Your sister
MiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieiiM iiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiifiiiiiitfiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisiiitiisi.iiiiiuijtitiiiiiiitjiiiiiiifiiiiifitiiims
I CAMPUS-1
1 opinion!
i -
i ...
P0Q, 2
Friday, May 6, 1966