SPRING DAY,, 1964
Page 2
cappiny
Local Trivia
The
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I C Jr'l
V
VI
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HORSE
Stud
LB 2436
fywacket
Funny Boy
Oriental King
Sherlock
Karcissns
Old Bailey
Mr. Novak
Weak Link
St. Valentine
Van Cliburn
Grounded Bird
Witch. Doctor
Blue Boy
Slave Driver
STABLE
TRAINER
(FOR
SURE)
Masters Miracle
Local Yokel
Porky Pig
Papa's Pride
Foreman
Aviary
FreeMan-or
Snack Bar
Porthole Pen
Porthole Pen
(GOOD BETS)
Mole Hole
Board Base
Martin's Monastery None
Ego Edifice Shicabiddy Shorty
Constatine Castle Barney Blue Eyes
Candy Factory None
' (TAKE YOUR PICK)
None
Alacazam
Aviary
Reformatory.
Fungusville
Snake Pit
FreeMan-or
Flying B-1500
Planned Nothing
None
Hesitant Hondo
Local Yokel
ODDS TIPS
1-1 he doesn't need them, they need him
1-3 dimpled darlin ranks high
1-5 if he'd learn to walk and talk
1-5 too well organized
1-7 the treasury can't buy a baldric
1-7 rules the roost
1-13 they just might not...
1-9 this could well" be an issue
1-15 boo
1-15 only because of his office
1-17 might not be associated
50-50 he'll be at the party anyway
1-8 if you. take your own .....
1-20 could. get pierce-d
1-14 business could be better
1-10Q does he have enough hours?
Form Tip: bet with the track's money
The
arkedly Masked
HORSE
STABLE TRAINER
THIS MUCH VE'LL BET ON...
Axoltop Texas Terrace Dark Pill
Crooked Contractor Disneyland Pepper Shaker
Flo1 3 Floosie Falsetto Ghetto 49 'er
.'Dudley's Doll :. Fruit Bowl Last Minute Lady
Basement Flakeout . Drydock Dungeon System Sweetie'
Vhiteman's Burden Marraisre Mill Lean's Tiarlin'
Kad's Maid Children's Zoo
Lindy Lady Lunar Landing
Feather Pusher Marraige Mill
Que
Happy .'Corner
Yea Girl
Bacon Beauty
Prune Water
Dexter . Stunt
Caffrey
Hep Honey
Texas Terrace
None
None
Rag Debutante
Dark .Pill
ODDS
1-1
1-3
1-3
1-5
1-5
1-6
1-9
1-9
1-9
1-15
NOW ADD THREE OR FOUR OF THE FOLLOWING...
Peale's Place
Abe's Folly
Children's Xbo
Falsetto Ghetto
3urlesoue Bin
Peale's Place
Filly Flophouse
Huskie
None
None
Lag 'n Linger
Little Huey
Huskie
Bon Voyage
1-20
1-20
1-30
1-31
1-3
1-50
1-1000
TIP
looking good
the apiary will get mussed
can't get hurt
they look around corners too
may be able to inc-orporate
high hopes now
it happened to be the right year
might be left short-handed
could follow in the footsteps
oh, oh, oh, what a girl
the game is almost over
horniest horse in the race
might get left in the shoot
santa's been known to miss
in order to please the triumvirate
draw your own mask
too fast a pace.
...BUT WATCH FOR A DARK H0S33 NOT LISTED
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J Ediotorial Page:
&vii drools CD
Fkky Fick:
ay
MJ.W. Whynol-tdiot -
SB
I J.Z. Because Buss. Man. I
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GUEST EDITORIAL:
We're Not Supposed To
You're all wrong. We're all right. The organizations
we represent, sometimes called "Greeks", I believe, like
us the way we are. We have a mandate from them to
work behind the scenes, not to publicize our work, and,
generally, accomplish nothing. So, I wish that you people
would quit worrying about us. Anyway, my friends, Bill
Beakly and Dainty Smith can beat up your friends.
T. Weak Brew
WHY BOTHER?
For The Berries
Why did the Vouth-For-The-Berries bother to organ
ize at all7 I mean, everyone knows that Nebraskans don't
vote, especially the students at the state school. Anyway,
I beard that Chuck Marred and Steve Snootsy were really
backing Berrie because they like Dick Nix. I believe that's
called reverse psychology. Either those two boys are aw
fully shrewd or they don't know what they're doing, be
cause while they may or may not be of the Berries, they
sure aren't helping the Lodge any and they've as good as
rockabyed Nelson. And if they don't end up scratching
backs in a Roomney chamber, they may have to ask Scraw
ton for help. And, really, that's saying nothing about the
Grunt Ogled Preoccupied.
ALL EYES SET:
On Dainty's M.O.
Speculation has it that when Dainty Smith, Beta Theta
Flie Hcppily Hooded, tackles his man tomorrow the Uni
versity will gee probably the biggest show since Dainty
was tackled last year. Here's hoping he has a brother
"Flie" to tackle. Some of the others may not appreciate
Ms anHfg.
Rumors have it that Dainty has fourteen revolutions
of the ceremony grounds planned in order to build up
tension. Then he will cleverly and ever so daintily uncoat
seven of the hopeful Juniors, keeping everyone on the edge
of their seats, stride slowly back twenty paces, twirl
around and take aim on his predestined target. Whether
ha falls on his face, again, from that point or actually gets
his man is a good question. One thing is for sure, Dainty
ain't afraid of grass stains on his nice clothes. An informed
Murca told the IVY FOOLS DAY that his after-tackle
comment is sure to be, "Nice going, protege, you and
me all tha way, baby . . . Good show."
irtw a nml elm It) MtrM il tta Mt Wftn t. Lita, K..
tfa. utkr tt act wt Aiwut 4. Ull
. Iff D.r ta MIM la tell 1 frw wlnfewt. m air an
'Hey Rube Let's Boycott
Those NU Toilet Facilities
By Onery Grease-on
Students have complained about it ev
er since I can remember, but no one has
the intestinal fortitude to register a pub
lic objection. But today is the day!
Although I don't know who is respon
sible for the tin-foil-like quality of the toi
let tissue in the lavatories, I am sure that
it has produced more sore spots with
more students than even the traffic prob
lem at 14th and S.
Now we all know that the tissue to
which I refer is barely adequate to ab
sorb perspiration, let alone that which it
is Intended to absorb. I sincerely believe
that some paper manufacturer got their
wax paper and toilet tissue mixed up.
And as if this isn't bad enough, the
dispensers which we are required to strug
gle with in order to secure an appropri
ate amount of tissue are enough to en
courage constipation.
If the University insists on forcing
students of higher education to use infer
ior toilet tissue, then at least a lab course
could be offered jointly by the Department
of Home Economics and the College of
Engineering on the tissue issue. There
just has to be a way to get more than
a single square of it at a time.
But the ultimate solution of course, is
to follow the example set by Poop Board
and "force the administration into reme
dial action." This might best be accom
plished by a campus wide boycott of all
University lavatory facilities. Perhaps if
enough of us join Dutchess and Butch on
the Phi Jocka Try's lawn, our problems
will be solved.
Seed Bed II
Because I have a kind heart, clean
dimples, and two crooked wisdom teeth.
I have consented to relinquish my usual
space to campus announcements of great
concern.
The Great Xi's have asked me to
make sure everyone knows about the
wheat sowing contest they're having to
night on the Phi Delta Ego mall. No oats
will be allowed, and everyone is asked
to bring their own sower.
-Will the Phi Jocka Try's please
leave Dutchess at home this year for the
Ivy planting? Her contribution last year
on the ivy was not only unwarranted, but
messy.
Studding Counsel has installed sug
gestion boxes in the johns at Burnett, the
P.E. buildings, and the Dent College. Su
sie Priss, studding counsel elections chair
man, would like sMfgestions on how to im
prove Studding Counsel election chairmen.
Ag Students . with labs are remind
ed to clean up their equipment and turn
in their cows before the end of the
year. Credits will be held if any sheep are
missing this year.
Campus police are still looking for
the two pranksters that painted their car
red Thursday evening. More than 345 stu
dents were packed into the car this mor
ning, waiting for a ride to Ag campus,
and the glove compartment was jammed
with tokens. Police chief Gene Musters
said, "The only thing we're mad about is
they painted Frank too-"
Delta Ugma Phis have installed a
larger closet for Rush Week next year.
They are holding open house Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and
any interested independents are asked to
shave and attend.
The Happily Hooded are holding in
terviews this afternoon for a substitute to
participate in tomorrow's ceremonies. Last
spring, one of the Hooded Few had an
attack of Fowle's Fungus and never has
recovered.
Dean Helen Campus, associate daen
of student lives, has announced that the
night of Spring and Ivy Day will be 1:30
nights for University women. Any late
minutes, and you need not register for
next year. They will constitute an auto
matic snyder.
Barry Goldwater will address a cam
pus group of rabble rousers next week.
All extremists are invited to attend.
WU all students make sure that no
copies of the IVY FOOLS DAY fall into
the hands of the administration? If any
st ident sees a professor or oean reach for
one, yell, "Look, a leper; Run! Your
cooperation is appreciated.
Student Health has issued the fol
lowing statement. "It has come to our at
tention that a lot of students keep both
ering us with broken legs, rashes, the
croup, t.b., and cancer. Our main con
cern is for students with mono, broken
legs and rashes. The croup, t.b., and can
cer are all symptoms of nervousness."
So much for the announcements.
When you're rushing around this week
end, just remember, Happiness is a brok
en lock on a pay toilet.
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re.iir nr. fnra Iran emm-akia br rw Boar. Membra nf
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4 aaaaa at ha r rtc.
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matter at aarinaal fJttii.
N.'iniiJi'iimiiiMiiiiiiJiiiMiiwiim
rwrrlr a 5
if you are a junior, have above a 4.000 average, have no activi
ties of any consequence, but have lots of friends in the right places,
and haven't filled out your application for the HAPPILY HOODED or
MARKEDLY MASKED, yet, remember the deadline is 5 p.m. today.
Bring them to the HAPPILY HOODED door on third floor of the Union
and you too may be a SPOOK.
Is It Dead?
Dear Ediotor:
Where did they bury
IMC?
The Greeks
Ediotor's Note: In the sand.
He IS Real!
Dear Ediotor:
I just wrote this letter to
say that Dick Wrecker of
course is for real ... I
mean of course he's alive.
I mean if he were dead he'd
have to write about funer
als, gravestones, past lead
ers, dead ideas, has beens
and the such, I mean being
alive he writes about things
like the Youth for Berries
Club, Berries Buttons,
Chuck Marred and t h e
Conservative philosophy.
New Frontier Statesman No. 1
We Must Eliminate
Dear Ediotor:
I have recently become a
convert of the civil rights
action in this country. I feel
that I must be heard.
In my opinion, the time
has come for a complete re
vamping of the civil rights
movements. I firmly believe
that we are moving too
slowly. We must push now
to get rid of all aspects of
discrimination .To facilitate
this movement, I would like
to propose the following im
provements: (1) Eliminate vanilla ice
cream.
(2) Eliminate
(3) Abolish white bed
sheets
(4) Outlaw marshmallows.
(5) Repaint the white
lines on highways
(6) Allow only chocolate
milk.
Why Elect Wrong Man?
Dear Ediotor:
Although I am merely an
AVERAGE University stu
dent who has the audacity
and frivolity to vote for and
follow my Studding Coun
sel representatives, I do
have one question nobody
seems to be able to answer:
Why in the hell did Council
elect Galen Frenzen hold
over instead of Doug Thorn?
Ediotor's Note: Same rea
son IFC is buried In the
sand.
(7) Do not brush teeth
These suggestions are not
meant as an end to the
problem, but as a begin-'
ning. If we are to accom
plish our goals, we must be
gin small and gradually in
crease our field of endeav
or. Onward and upward,
away with color.
Ned Arnold Arthur Charles
Prindlcston
Bad Words
Dear Ediotor:
I know that youth is be
coming more and more pro
gressive, but really must
you use words like premar
ital intercourse in the head
lines In your paper.
No Taste
Dear Ediotor:
I think your staff lacked
taste in putting out this
year's PINK RAG.
Jacky Daniels
President Pi Xi
Relief For Tensions
Dear Ediotor:
With all the controversy
concerning ROTC, Studding
Counsel, the Youth for Ber
ries, and Susan Stanley
Yolk, I should think that a
great amount of tension
should be created within the
student body. To relieve
that tension I have a sug
gestion. Take a chocolate
laxative, go to the "Groves"
and do the Dog!
Lassie
FIRST OUTDOOR SHOWING
" Stat Uriel's "Nr
Dr. Strangelove
-ALSO-
all U way
prcstai
.home
3
Dear Winnie fieen
Prude Type
Dearest Winnie & Helen:
My boy friend smokes,
drinks, and kisses girls. What
should I do?
Prude
Dear Prude:
Smoke, drink, and kiss
girls.
Good Type
Dearest Helen & Winnie:
My mother and father have
raised me as a good Chris
tian, that is why I live in
Cather Hall. I wanted to be
as far away from the sin and
corruption of fraternity
houses as possible. I did not
want to be forced upon girls
or anything like that. My
problem is that from my win
dow I am in view of all the
facts of life.
To begin with, none of the
Temptresses who live in
Pound Hall even begin to
close their shades before dis
robing. Even their guardians,
the housemothers, do not feel
Go, Go, Go,
Go, Go, Go,
Go, Go, Go,
Go, Go, Go,
M-O-O-R-E
that this precaution is neces
sary. In addition, the girls usually
manage, especially before
Spring Vacation, to sunbathe
without the benefit of suffi
cient attire.
I do not know how much
longer I can preserve my vir
ginity in the face of these on
slaughts by the world, the
flesh and the devil.
Ichabod
Dear Ichabod:
Join a fraternity.
EDHOLM
BLOMGREN
Portraits
Placement
Photos
HE 2-6686
318 South 12th
I3TH ANOP
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