liMO
v.ssn
SUNDAY
From
The
Editor 's
Desk
SHOCKING WEEK
Truth Behind Events
The events of the past
few days as reported in
this issue of the NEVER
ON SUNDAY, have been
met with mixed reactions
across the campus com
munity. We, of the Pink Rag,
keeping in line with the
principles of fearless jour
nalism and editorial com
ment and the strong prin
ciples and precepts of
truth and virtue, will tell
yon the truth behind these
events. We feel it is our
duty to keep you highly
informed, and this is about
as far as we can go.
First of all, the entire
campus has been shocked
by the recent discovery of
the last true enjoyment
stronghold of the campus,
the underground network
of cheating tunnels and
party halls. The campus
coppers even got medals
for their discovery.
The University will now
probably see a drop in the
all-University grades, but
this will not be new in
light of recent club house
showings in the area of
high scholarship.
The students, not want
ing to see their last haven
of fun and grades discov
ered, revolted and ran
rampiant across the cam
pus. Panties flew from the
windows as the girls, fol
lowing their AWS rules,
urged the male students
upward and onward. The
the regular run of panti
raids was the participa
tion by housemothers and
sorority girls who pulled
a reversal and also raid
ed the boys houses gather
ing various clothing un
mentionables. We would like to point
out that the raid on the
tunnels was the fault of
none other than the stu
dents themselves. Those
who go underground for
their activities and meet
ings deserve to be raided.
They deserve to be cap
tured and bounced OUT
of this institution.
We stand firmly behind
the insititution, because if
we didn't they might raid
us, and then we too would
be out and hunting other
employment.
The Dean of Arbitrary
Decisions Office also
moved quickly In reaction
to these events, calling
the students cheaters, It
ers, liers and various
other names. After they
listened to the side of the
student they announced
their pre-prepared state
ment of punishment and
the students were all
"J.B." has just finished
a successful -run for the
University Players. This
play is so charged with
emotion that, after the
thermonuclear climax, the
actors, audience, and light
bulbs are all burnt out.
It was such a strain
that student audiences
struck for a week off
from classes to recouper
ate. Par.hellenic is getting
raked over the coals
by people with impccable
halos.
Nobody who holds a dis
armament rally; no Eth-
SIXTY -EIGHT YEARS OLD
MEMBER: Associated Collefetate PreM
' IrtrHiitt Press
REPRESENTATIVE : National Advertising Service, Incihvorated
Published at: Cell 91. Nebraska Union
Lincoln. Nebraska
14th and R
Tht Pink rat la generally publiihed on Ami I during
(he school year, except during tlmea when April 1 falls
during vacation K when the division of student Affairs
cwifnoates the presses, by students of the tlnlvvnlty of
Nebrpxka under the so-called authorization of the Committee
' en Student Affairs as an expression of student opinion.
Just about ail the published editorial copy contained herein
U a pack of lies, even most all vf the advertising. Members
n pi.. Pmf mtntt narnmilv not responsible for
what they say, do or cause to be printed, April 1, twa.
Any resemblance to uctuat sltuNtlons or people in this
Ismie Is purely a matter of Interpretation.
Subscription rats are $3.00 pir temestef or 19.00 per
rear. What gyp.
en
m
SLANDER (!?) .
forced to accept their
work probation for their
participation in the Raids
and tunnels.
The work probation is
ingeneous invention. Stu
dents across the campus
will be able to work and
help dig holes in the
ground for new NU build
ings. Since our ultra con
servative state has not
seen fit to grant us the
necessary money to main
tain and keep developing
a strong institution, the
students can donate their
time and bodies. We will
take exception, however,
with the arbitrary manner
in which these hours are
handed out. The suds sip
pers in the tunnels re
ceived from 5-100 work
hours while the cheaters
were generally left with
a warning.
There were, however,
other events of the past
week which deserve com
ment. We notice that the
Greek Games were con
ducted in usual fashion.
John Noless reported that
there were only a few
hare-raising events with
final results being lions 5
Christian none. He also
reported that the help
weeks were progressing
quite well with all con
cerned being "really
helped."
Dumbo Rage, Stupid
Council President, said
last week that the Council
would some day get rid of
its mops and that this
year's election prospects
look better than ever. So
far, no one has filed for
the governing body.
Allen Plunger, god's lo
cal campus representative,
announced that the circus
would undoubtedly turn
into a two-bit carnival in
the near future as the
Council is considering fly
ing in a real barker with
a slick method of opera
tion. The barker is expect
ed to really put the snow
on the rug of the Indian
suite.
Berry Silverwater, not
to be mistaken with the
Rushville Indian Chief,
was a featured attraction
on, our campus this past
weekend. We are sure that
the Young Dammits en
joyed the session as they
proposed a Store for 64.
In contrast the Young Re
somethings sat figiting
as they tried to figure out
which road to take, the
one to the far or . . .
Last but not least, there
is a system of points that
should be mentioned. Once
upon a time Jane came
to college and found her
self wrapped up in not
Laughing Jackass
By BraY
iopian flame swords, Hin
du krises, Isriali b a y o
nets, Mexican machetes,
or Arkansas toothpicks
allowed.
"Dean Happy With
Greek Women" says
"Rag" headline. Now you
know why they held over
"Never on Sunday" for
three weeks here.
Hate Library is one if
the country's "opinion
making institutions." Li
brarians are very vain
about their hundreds of
thousands of volumes. We
wonder how many the stu
dents have read.
IflMIII jlilfil
Entered as second class matter at the post office In
Lincoln, Nebraska under the act of August 4, 1912.
EDITORIAL STAFF
Dictator Sun Fergnirtd
Asst. Dictator Coding Billing
Libel Controller . Sin Tree
Pencil Pushers Katrash By-basketful; Minded McFllthyi
Jr. Pencil pushers Wobert Bosemi Karet Plstolsucker
Windy Gunner
Copy Botchers . . Chantilly Cay Lacsi Whltty Fastfordi
So Bmuttlk
Fun and Games Editor Bulleitt Wollbarf
Staff Photographer Bug MirFrUhtly
Barnnmeller Mande Kenderswacker
Night Lost Editor Yogart Z. Kwrltch
BUSINESS STAFF
Chief theater Will PIsMeiKtei
Assi. Cheaters .... Fidget, Wobert Willardham, AIIKaram
(or the Gunners three
Classy Ads Sue Gamke
Circulation From Time to Tims
and his asst Once -In -a -w tails.
APRIL 1, 1962
.SWiS::,;;''
knowing how to control
her own life. So she let
herself be run by the AWS
and the Dean of Arbitrary
Decision's office. It is in
teresting to note that the
AWS court is very amus
ing, as only a few make
the final nod for punish
ment. For the girl that
can't seem to think up an
excuse, Gennie Garmer,
delitefully grubby rep., of
fered a few timely tips.
She suggests that the
girl give the excuse that
she was out with her date
and the float on the car
stuck or something. Then,
Ignorance of what a float
is should be the general
rule. This was beyond the
girls control so she will
probably be iven excuses.
The girl can also offer
the excuse that the roads
were slick and she
couldn't leave early
enough to get back. This
should work.
You are advised not to
say that you were out with
an orphan and when you
took him back to the or
phanage, he didn't want
you to leave. They will
probably ask you how old
he was and the girl will
be sunk.
You are also advised not
to have too truthful a
story, as these generally
sound fishy and your pun
ishment is double. Truth
is not a defense.
But then, points are a
must. The girlies must get
many of them. But she
must not get too many of
them. This would deprive
others from getting too
many of them. The Alco
holic Women's Stewies
should really go far. We
would even recommend it.
Far, far, far, f ar . . .
This concludes the
week's events. Some
shocking, some pleasant,
some constructive, we
hope that the students can
learn the lessons they
taught. For this cause,
we summarize:
-Fix your tunnels so
they don't sink
2- Never trust a Dean
3- Be more discrete dur
ing panti raids
4- Never trust a slick,
god-approved operator
5- Even cows need form
development
6- Learn your excuses
girlies, but don't practice
too much you'll get
punished anyway.
7- Help AWS go far, far,
far, far ...
8- Flnally be of good
cheer, for we bring you
good tidings of great joy
vacation is near.
PURGE!
Square Fraternity
chooses a calendar girl to
publicize their coloniza
tion. Other frats enviously
wonder if they can work
a similar angle. How
about the chorus of "Guys
and Dolls" on a calen
dar? Senator Silverwater
spoke in the Coliseum
Friday. He doesn't like
the talks in Geneva.
Thinks the conference
table is the only place in
the world where the lion
and the lamb lie down to
gether even when the
lion is hungry.
IliiiB
OFFICER, IT WASN'T A PANTY RAID
...I WORK FOR BOVINEFORM
Dear Friends:
Dearest Colleagues:
(one more time)
Hi CHUMS!
Gee, it's great after
bein' at the old stupid
Council meeting to get
down to cases here on pa
'per and talk to some of
my beloved constituents.
For some long months, I
have been wanting to
make a fervent confes
sions about my stand on
a lot of issues.
Being no apathetic my
self, it is almost demand
ed of me that I take some
sort of a stand on some
thing, sometime, some
how, somewhere, some
day my prince will come.
The first thing that I
want to take a stand on
is the rug in the Indian
Queries
and
Fairies
Why not pick cherries? Why
not.
Why not strengthen Admin
istration? Why not give it enough
power so that it may pretend
to be responsive to the stu
dent wishes?
Why not give men equal
power?
Why don't men have as
much power as mice? Mice
can scare women. Why can't
men?
Why not have an office
with goldfish? Why not.
PAW
tilllllllllHIIIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINIH
1 f
g rXS ,,:-y !
-
I 1
5 " I
t J J ":
: f frJ i
I V
1 'A ;
if iiiiturf iiintifiirwiiti ufMMjiiit'ltiifiiffnfiirMriiifHJJiitifiifitifirjriiiiifi'iitfiiMfiiiiriiifrtiriiMiriiffiifiirirfitiif
HToH
out at the next stupid
Council meeting. Won't
that be fun for me?
The second thing I want
to take a stand on is ad
ministration building. If
they will let met get on
top of it? Won't be it
"exxxxxciting" to go over
Hardin's head just once.
In my rebuttal to my
Suite, I am going to speak
LITTLE MAN
vl a jtOtfTiiar ,
1 1 nstf-Nwp -
TPAWIL1
u im
mmmmmm
s
4
i
stand just taken, I want
to say that the reason
that I am doing this is be
cause I am not a mop, a
broom maybe, but this is
all.
Notice: To all those who
are dropping classes. You
are no fair chums. I will
not let you be my chums
any longer. You are not
any good. Neither is Leon
Olsen. Neither are the
Phi Delta Prides. Neither
is Steve Gage. '
I am sick. I think that
I may offended some
body. I am sorry. Please
stay as my chums?
Doesn't everyone want
chums?
lovingly,
sweetely,
to hell with it,
"H"
ON CAMPUS
B-9o
YOU TOO
CAN BE A
MARTER
BOARD
Believe m AWS
Write Columns
Request Recounts
Be a Worker
Go after points
In varying amts.
Go to meetings
Points, points, points
0
0
VrVi be watching you
NO I
DOTS 1
PLEASE I
MifiiiiriitirjiiiftrriiiirMiii-iJfiiiiMiifjfiufjritim
.... . By George
A Book Review
By Smelling Here v
The re -issue of an
American classic always
offers just cause for the
astute critic to judge a
book again in the light of
p r e s en t socio-economic
conditions to see if the
book has been able to
to withstand the storm
and stress of time. Just
off vhe press in a lovely
gold embossed edition is
the old favorite "Dick and
Jane."
Scholars interested in
the American literacy tra
dition will be chagrined
to find what used to be
"Dick and Jane" has re
cently been
p u D -1
i shed
under a
new title,
"We Look
and See."
it is
the con
tention of
this critic
that the Here
deviation in title has in no
way harmed the aesthetics
or the extremely worth
while content of this epic
tale.
"We Look and See" is
the beginning of one of
the most interesting and
fascinating series of books
before the advent of
the C. P. Snow trilogy.
It greatly surpasses its
meagre imitations of
"Tom and Sally." To com
pare "We Look and See"
to books of this calibre is
like comparing the Crib
to Duffy's in other
words, there is absolutely
no ground for an intelli
gent comparison.
The sequels to "We
Look and See," "Friends
and Neighbors," "More
Friends and Neighbors,"
"Streets and Roads,"
"More Streets and Roads"
etc. carry out the serious
theme of this most pro
vocative boy - meet - girl
story.
Only on rare instances
is one able to sustain such
a simple plot theme over
such a great span of
pages, but this series of
book excels in its at
tempt. Authors William
Gray, May Hill Arbuth
not and of course the in
comparable A. Sterl Hart
ley have spawned an epic
of Horacian proportions.
One of the most im
portant themes that
causes the reader to find
a heartfelt association and
therefore an interest in
p'ot development is the
dose attention paid to the
SPCA rules. Puff is un
doubtedly the cat that
everyone desires to pos
ses and have to cuddle
and shed fur all over the
furniture! Spot of course
needs no mention. He is
the dog of all dogs, "the
grandest tiger in all the
jungle," as it were. Spot
being a cocker spaniel
aids in the popularity, al
though recent trends seem
to indicate that the beagle
is more popular; but this
is of course a minor con
sideration. '
This critic personally
owns five cocker spaniels
who play basketball and
one beagle who doesn't
know a bond from a bas
ST
WRH CLOTHING CO.
540 NORTH 16
ket, and this of course
settles the question.
Nowhere does the pace
of this hard hitting novel
la slacken. The title of the
first chapter, "Look,"
starts the book at a swift
clip that never once lags.
The same terse style by
which Ernest Hemingway
achieved greatness is used
to a distinct advantage
in "We Look and See."
It would be quite probable
to assume that Heming
way received his basic in
spiration for his writings
from this simple book.
. -
NOTASfY.
rtWUJANTME A SCOOT! A
10 Pt A 1 V PALL
spy? ; vsccxrn
I'LL AtMTlTsADANfieROUS
JO0(8(tf iTHASTOBeDONE!
N0a),I SUPPOSE THE FIRST
QUESTION THAT CCWE5 TO rWC
MINO IS," WHV DOES THIS
JOB HAVE TO BE DONE?"
NO, IKE RR5T QUESTION
THAT COMES TO MV MIND
(Courtesy of Omaha World Herald i
AN UNPAID TESTIMONIAL
Napoleon Bonaparte says:
to MliitLjtOai
bttn ufMriiUj a
Jflatti3n
Jform
WHAT'S GOING ON, ON CAMPUS?
POT-LEGS
IMS WHAT!
Whti foinr on fir! In vry
toll- in ths country? PANTI
LEGS by ...th
fabulous new fashion that's mak
ing ffirdltt, carters and garter
blt ld fashion! A canny com
bination of sheerest stretch atock
ingt and non-transparent stretch
panty brlaf, PANTI-LEG8 ar
ecstatically comfortable, with cam
put tojs, date frocks, all your
"round-the-clock clothes espe
cially the new culottes and under
slacks. No sag, wrinkle or bulge.
L-o-n-g wearing. Of sleek Enka
Nylon. Available in three shades
of beige plus black tint. Seamless
or with seams. Petite, Medium,
Medium Tali, Tall.
Seamless, (3.00. 2 for SS.90.
With teams (non-run), 2.60.
t for 14.90.
Nor ASPV.A
S :
II
WW 1