Pag I
The Pink Rag
EDITORIAL
Pink Truth Revealed;
NTJ Goes Chartreuse j
It's been a year now since the last edition of the Pink
Rag hit the streets. Up until this year, the reason for the
pink color of the paper was not known. Now, at long last
and with a typical amount of research, several worldly
groups have found out the real reason.
Thanks to the alertness of the American Bludgeon, 1
The National Flag Wavers Society and the School of Jour-
nalism, the truth has been brought out.
However, the expose poses several problems to our I
campus. No longer will good old NU be a b 1 e to boast
colors of Red and White or Scarlet and Cream, now we s
must change them to something nice and intellectual like
Chartreuse and Orange. This will no doubt lead to the
new cheer, Jo Big Chartreuse. I
The Loveable Library has also felt the pressure of the
investigation. All books which were originally bound in
red covers have been chanced to white bindings. Librar-
ians expressed fear in the change, however, due to the f
continual usage of the books by the students.
Probably the hardest hit college, Teachers College, f "
has also had to make many changes. In the elementary
education classes, the nursery rhyme, Little Red Riding 1
Hood has been changed to The Hoodless Red-Rider. 1
No longer will the country-side be dotted with the
little Red School houses. Thanks to the constant probings,
in the future all schools will be made out of Aqua-Marine
cement blocks.
Campus organizations have also had to make drastic
changes. The Corn Cobs are faced with the prospect of
buying new jackets, but they can't find any pants to
match the new chartreuse blazers.
Because of the investigations, next year's April Fool's
edition will be printed on transparent paper. This elimin
ates the chances of accusations like we have received in
the past Besides, our readers will be able to read all four
pages at the same time. The paper will also becomingly
match the minds of our critics.
Conscience of
Jt seeras high time that
aT good "meri"came to the
aid of their country came to
the aid of theri country
came ito" the aid of their
country caem to theaid of
flsbvi contrary to the ad of
came"
ria the opinion of everyone
concerned with the expan
sion of the peace corps into
a local entrapeanenr Teu
ton it seems that it should
be fine If we all jaiaed
hands In the greatest boar
f one great hoar of every-
ers aad their daughter aid
relax in the true spirit of
Ignzphflitxits.
Certainly all of us can
undermine the position of
those connected to the high
est point of endeavor which
is of course to examine all
and every thing which we
come into contact with as
a reasonable fascimile of
something with w h i c h we
have come into contact
with before we came into
contact with it before it
.We are all aware, of
course, of the highest ob
jective to which we can
come into contact with after
graduation, which is, of
course, that with which we
Daily. Worker Letterips
Student Glad
Flood? Gone
T fee Premier:
I'm. glad to see that the
flood: of spathy which was
fwarfcplng the campus last
year t this time has sub
sided. I understand, howev
er, that a continued dry spell
may weB bring the danger
f a - conflagration which
could destroy a great part
of fee campus.
In case such a peril should
arise, I would like to sug
gest, to any person inter
ested ia keeping the fire from
his door, a special chemical
known as fire-water which
will extinguish tb blaze. Un
fortunately, ia this state you
most have reached the legal
age of 21 before you may
lawfully purchase this handy
fire extinguisher. There is
a solution to the problem
though, that being, that you
need ccly be 15 in order to
drive. So jump in your go
carts and head for the neigh
boring states (excluding Iowa
and old Mo.). By the time
you get there you will be 18
and legal to buy firewater
to extinguish those dry area
blazes.
There is a second solution
but : it would entail a tad
more maneuvering and a bit
THE DAILY
KesreKRtaUre: Ntional Advertising Service Incorporated
rci.I bed at: Room 51, Student Cnioo, Lincoln. Nebraska.
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OPINION
a Reactionary
come into contact with of
course. i
Momma's little b a b y
loves shortening.
And now, if you will all
re-examine jTour lives in
light of coming events, you
will soon see that it is not
the things which do which
lead to trouble, but the trou-
ble itself which leads to the 1
things you do.
Papa's little mamma
loves a Utile kerosene op-
erated garage door.
And if you think t h a t i
even one will not realize
what is going on here,
then yon just do not ap-
preciate the finer things of
horticulture.
The Daily Worker is
the biggest fool at last.
TApril idiots interm was i
three days ago ho).
Now is the time for all f
good men to come to the
aid of their . . . uh . . .
grandmother?
And in closing, everyone
should be reminded that 30
daze has September, 72 in
a pica type, and hollyhocks
don't grow in clumps of
oysters, but your uncle
does when he's not riding a
trained seal to the beach in
order to conduct a revival 1
m e e ti n g for all the rad-1
ishes. 1
more than the effort of one
lonely blaze sufferer. But
let's not dry up with the
state, let's go wet and join
the midwest youngster cor-
ruption group known as "I
was only 18 when"
I Diedf
Campus Beauty
Qub Formed
To the Premier,
It has come to my atten- I
tion that quite a few of our
University students h a v e
become interested in mak-
ing our ugly campus bea-
uo-ti-fil. Thusly, some of us
have organized a club to 1
promote this group, known
as the CCCCC, (College
Corps for a Clean, Cool,
Campus) will meet tonight 1
at the big stump in north
Silly lot to lay plans for our
new club.
The next meeting of the
CCCCC will probably be
held in the fall of '64 as we
are having trouble getting
our constitution approved I
by the Sterling Candidates.
Any interested students
may attend but we will be I
checking I. D.'s.
Beautifully,
Lark Smellenberk, I
President, CCCCC. I
WORKER I
Aotflfwl (ml
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V
IT'S
'is it a bird? No, It's a man! No, it's other sponsored by the organization de-
a bird no it's the Beta pledge class signed for who know's what in conjunction
no, what is it?" These students are shown with the local whatisits.
as they view the annual something or
By Full Boroaden
How does "The Adven-
tures of Huckleberry Finn"
written in the 1880's differ
1 from such local color nov
1 els as "Peyton Place," writ-
ten nearly 100 years later?
if we can (with a certain
1 grain of salt) equate "The
1 Adventures of Huckleberry
Finn" in , the same light
that present day educators,
1 legislators, and psycholo
1 gists would consider
"Blackboard Jungle" ana
consider the possible harm
ful implications that the
publishing of such a book
as Huckleberry Finn
might have had on the ju
venile delinquency rate of
the 19th century.
It is therefore necessary
to analyze the evil charact
er named Huck Finn for he
is definitely a social devi
ate, and it might be well to
bann the book after due
consideration of the facts.
Coming from such a brok
en home, as Huck has, and
considering the inadequacy
of Pop Finn as a father;
we will definitely assume
that Huck is a very frus
trated individual. Having
had no motherly love, pam
pering, and affection it
would be hard to say in
Freudian terms at what
stage Huck was truly fix
ated most likely the oral,
since he liked to eat so welL
We could attribute Huck's
rebel instinct and desire to
escape to his unhappy child
hood and home life. Unlike
nice young boys, Huck
completely rebelled against
authority symbols such as
Miss Watson and school
both representing confine
m e n t and conformity.
Huck's natural desire was
one of fugue from the con-'
flict situation of a definite
approach-avoidance situa
tion. Huck sought the river
as a place of refuge, def
initely demonstrating an un
stable personality in physi
cal escape from the con
flict. Huck also demonstrated
an abnormal religious phi
losophy. Unlike "normal"
individuals who conform to
societies preachings and at
tend church, Huck had a
worship of Nature and par
pantheistic philosophy a
worship of nature and par
ticularly the river. Huck's
superstitions were strong
(i.e. you had "bad luck
when you killed a spider.")
Huck would certainly upset
Bishop Sheen with his ap
parent unconcern with the
omnipotent power of
prayer. Huck comments, "I
say to myself, if a body can
get anything they pray for,
why don't Deacon Winn get
back the money he lost on
cards: . . . No, says I to
myself, there ain't nothing
in it"
Huck's lack of concern
for the exaulted state of the
dead is appalling. "I don't
take no stock in dead peo
ple," Huck asserts firmly.
It is certain from the psy
chological point of view
that this young man has ab
solutely no Super Ego. He
is most likely to follow the
compulsions of his Id and
will act according to his
instincts without due regard
to the consequences. Huck
Finn would therefore be
considered a great danger
to society.
In an attempt to suppress
the unhappy circumstances
of his childhood, Huck Finn
was an habitual liar. On
numerous occasions he was
known to assume an alias.
His lies follow a particular
morbid pattern concerning
the death or illness of the
supposed family to which he
belonged. This pre-occupa-tion.with
death shows def
inite pathologial symptoms
and later developments
may require psychological
and medical attention.
U.V
A FALSETERAVIS!
Backside View
In Hookerville, Finn as
sumed the identify of a girl,
Sarah Williams, whose
mother was sick. (Freud
would have fun with this
one!) When Finn's identity
as a boy was revealed, he
assumed the name of
George Peters, whose
"mother and father was
dead" and explained he had
been mistreated by "a mean
old farmer" (definitely a
symbol of his rather.) Huck
next presented himself as
Hornback's relation who
had been in a steamboat
accident, and Bill Whipple
was drowned. In order to
save Jim, Huck told Park
er and John that "pap" was
on the raft "He's sick
and so is mam and Mary
Ann." To the Grangerfords
Huck took a new pseudo
nyme, George Jackson
whose family history had
again been tragic "Tom
and Mort died," in fact,
everyone died.
Of course, accidentally
Huck assumed the place of
Tom Sawyer in the home
of the Phelpses; this lie
was not of Huck's invention
and does not fit the regular
pattern but shows his will
ingness to easily adapt a
new identity, showing a
qeust for security.
Not only is Huck Finn a
dangerous personality due
to his abnormal deviations
from society, but the book
as a whole has many as
pects which would be def
intely corrupting to the
young minds who would
read it. The language and
the grammar in "Huckle
berry Finn" is horribly mis
used. If one assumes Guth
erie's learning theory that
the connection of the stim
ulus and response takes
place on the first instance,
The Sadder
This is coming to you by
long distance psychograph
as the old goat is actually
somewhere in the wilds of
Illinois. I am on a big
game hunting expedition
and the old goat has caught
word that a Griffith, that
rare and delectable animal,
is loose in the boondocks of
said svlvania.
NOTE: at this point,
either our psychograph lost
something ia the translation
or else it hat a bad case of
smuttiofrequency, as the
remarks we are getting
will not fit into this family
news sheet and besides are
definitely bourgeious
Resume broadcast:
Dearest comrades: I wish
for all of yon to realize that
at long last the dear old
LITTLE MAN
St
-s? A
then young minds will be
learning "To be or not to
be; That is the bare bod
kin" before they reach the
high school level and are
taught the correct Shakes
pearean quotation. Children
will learn to wTite letters
such as the one which Huck
wrote to Mrs. Watson:
"Miss Watson, your
runaway nigger J i m is
down here two miles be
low Pikesville, and Mr.
Phelps has got him and
he will give him up for
the reward if you send."
Twain even goes so far as
to use the swear words of
the dav such as "Geewhil
likins""and "Shucks" there
by encouraging the use of
such obscene expressions in
the young child.
Murder episodes are ex
plained in great detail in
"Adventures of Huckleber
ry Finn" as the Shepherd-son-Grangerford
feud in
which Buck is killed and
the Boggs-Sherburn inci
dent. Such realistic treat
ment of murder and death
would definitely corrupt the
young reader. Fraud is
found to be humorous; and
incidents such as the "Roy
al Nonesuch," the Park
v i 1 1 e revival, and the
Wilkses' fraud; and the
methods of defrauding the
good people of the country
are explained in great de
tail. Larceny is both accepted
and practiced by the main
character of the b o o k,
Finn. Huck uses a common
defense mechanism, ration
alization by calling this ab
normal method of procur
ing goods, "borrowing."
Huck manages to steal ev
erything from food, to
(Continued to Page 4
By Sick Matter
bleater is going to translate
all his poetry and mystic
writings. Innocents, T.VE.'s
. . . (insert anything I don't
belong to) are no damn
good. Girls, beer, and whis
ky are good. In fact so
good, they're no better
than they should, er . .
could, be.
HERE TRANSMISSION
BROKE OFF COMPLETE
LY. WE RECEIVED
NOTHING BUT THE
CRASH OF THUNDER.
TRADITIONALLY PAN'S
METHOD OF DISCIPLIN
ING HIS DISCIPLES OF
UNLEASHING A SECRET
OF THE GOD'S. THIS IS A
SCIENTIFIC CURIOSITY
AS PRIOR TO THIS IT
WAS ASSUMED THAT
GOATS WERE NOT GODS.
ON CAMPUS
li'li fy
Chamberpot
By Wretched Smellbarge
I know that all of you sub
urban and good clean and
ideal types are readers of
my column. I wish to an
nounce that this is not other
than the old Flower, but I
have found that things grow
better in a chamberpot than
they do in a flowerpot.
Besides I intend to do
campus gossip in the future
in this column, my little
dears, so that it is neces
sary that I have an appara
tus in my room suitable to
inspire thoughts about this
campus.
I want to urge all of you
flowers and followers of
mine to turn in your flower
pots and obtain a good
chamberpot, its useful, it
grows things wonderfully,
its durable, and I have sooo
much fun making pledges
and unideal cjeds (curse
the race) polish it until I
can put on my lipstick by
looking into' the reflection
from the bottom of the pot,
I WV i
I I
I - V A i
l -r-"- I wt ,' 1
t:te. M ijjy" ----
1 .tX7tsy
GOOD JOB, WELL DONE
Ervin Grammar, graduate student in English, is shown
in his English 222 class. Grammar stated, "WeU, Dr. Huff
is this satisfactory class participation, or do you want some
more:"
'61 Military Ball
"Harching in Hades" will
be the theme of next season's
Military Ball, the University
CLOTC department an
nounced today.
Sigfried Swine, cadet who
entered the winning sugges
tion, said it occurred to him
during a CLOTC laboratory
session about three weeks
ago.
"I'm so happy, and gee
whiz it'll all be so good
lookin', and everybody'U en
joy it so much, and it's the
only subject I'm passin'," he
stated.
CLOTC officials said sim
plicity in decorating was what
appealed to them most about
the theme. All that should be
necessary, they indicated, will
AFTER SHAVE
LOTION
Queery
Now is the time for the
old fox to announce that in
conformity with the wishes
of my generous employer,
the Daily Worker I have
brought back to all of my
fellow fairy foxes a new
housing policy.
Henceforth all will be
done in strict conformity
with the supreme slogan of
the supreme soviet, tnai
which is good for all is for
all good."
We will all pack all of our
belongings, which hence
forth are to belong to ail
(chairs, desks, schoolrooms,
heads, and all) and move
to our new cave. It is to be
called a dormitarius and we
are to share all in common
there. It will be very jolly
and we win have a head
fox who is responsive to our
every wish just as supreme
comrade Dean Fox would
have it.
One thing will be very
nice, we will never again
t ctroin nnr fOXV lit-
liavc w jww.. .
tie heads in order to be able
to make decisions, ine aor
Will Go to Hades
be to- strike matches around
appropriate people "once the
evenmg gets going good.
Will Prolectyou
J-Scliool Chair
Will Protectyou, State Com
mander for the American
Bludeeon. has been aoDointed
the new chairman of the
School of Journalism.
Protectyou, when contacted
bv the Dailv Worker said that
he wiU "strive to better the
beliefs of the students in the
school."
Protectvou was amointed
after Dr. Igot GaU resigned
following recent probing by
the Bludgeon.
A
SHULTON
Fairus
By Untwtv !
mitarius will have the v
of noble group leader ri
Comrade Chancellor's f.1o
matic brain which will d
cide these things better "or
us than we would ever dx
This group will not he v .
democratic. Indeed, It v,!'l
be very democratic as an-,
one not liking the deciso"s
can complain to the DaPv
Worker or leave, (this will
not endanger the stability of
the group as the Dailv
Worker Is ineffective, it rot
having a machine to make
its iticisions.
Many other benefits will
flow from this arrangement.
For one thing we will all be
able to do away with those
obnoxious and sentimental
things, names. We wiU all
have our own distinctive
and attractively designed
numbers. This number will
be used for gambling
games, I.D.'s, social secu
rity and gravestones. It will
end the embarassment of
not knowing another fox's
name as it is very easy to
mumble a number.
AN UNPAID TESTIMONIAL
Napoleon Bonaparte says:
I'd met hm lost
to WcllwM
.if I'd
hcnwcmn$i
Jockey
POWER-KNIT
T-SHIRT
Q: You mean...?
A. Oui! I spent so much time
tugging at my baggy, saggy
T- shirt ... I couldn't eoooeotnila
on the battle.
Q: I see. WeU do you realize that
Jockey's new T-shirt ia Power
Knit with a quarter again as
much resilient combed-cotton
yarn to stay soft and keep its per
fect fit, even after countless wash
ings? The new Seamfree collar
won't sag; the full-proportioned
body won't bag. And the deep
tuck tail stays every inch as long
as the day your Jockey Power
Knit T-shirt came fresh out of
the package.
A: NOW he tells me!
Napolron' final ateat cam mi rf
KarxO ml the Dvmt mf WrllmfUm u Ikt
Battle mf Waterloo. June IS, 181$.
Jockey
powen-KNn
SHIKTS
COOMl'l, IMC. IIKOIHV Wl.
'"rr.iirffM'iililiff''r'"'- jj
iiiiiMliiiiiiiiaiiaiir isiilaiiiitoiaiiiiiiiiiiiii wiiniiiiiiiMiiiiiiin
Refrtihing antiseptic action heals
razor nicks, helps keep your skin
In top condition. 1.00 mk
Nmw York Terenl