THE NEBRASKAN
Wednesdoy, Jonuary 9, T957
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fwbrc:kan Editorials:
rJirsferioDS ilcres
By DICK SHUGRUK tor teaching here," Dr. Cappiello laid.
Copy Editor However, the hospital "ran out of money to
Only ft personal view of the University Col- hire nurses and pay for equipment in the two
kg of Medicine in Omaha can convince atu- wards which had to close."
dents at the Lincoln campus of the dire financial At present, the Omaha Campus is composed
problem which the medical unit is facing. of six buildings which Include the children's
A group of representative students toured hospital and Psychiatric Institute which is con
tSe'faciliti of the College of Medicine Tuesday trolled by the Board of Control. Projected are
and heard from Dean J. P. Tollman the various a new nurses home, an animal research build
aspects of the financial plight of the University ing for which no operational funds are available
Hospital and the college. and the Children's Rehabilitation Center which
Dean Tollman told Dave Keene and Don will include a home, school and center for
Stoakes of the Student Council, Sally Carter cf therapy,
the University Builders and Sam Jensen repre-
tenting the Inter-Fraternity Council, that he Als0 m the campu8 the new Clarkson Me-
was glad to see that th Lincoln campus was morial Hospital which is independent of Uni-
taking a real interest in the activities of the versjty COntrol. A new doctors center is being
Omaha unit. constructed to the north of the campus.
'Ar Dr. Cappiello said that doctors are planning to
"It happen that every two years a large build a huge medical center which would extend
Mgment of the budget is begged for by a much- flve blocks north frora Farnam (the north edge
removed unit of the University. So at this time fte campus). This would make the College
It is encouraging to see that Lincoln students a Medicine and the University Hospital the
would want to know at first hand just where center that medical unit," he said. .
and how budget money will be allocated in The Lincoin campug representatives saw the
Omaha," Tollman said. medical library which is reported to be the
He added that the visit would give the stu- flnMt colleg9 medlcai library west of the
dents some idea of the medical school and Mississippi. Carter said, "It's now open from
hospital in relation to the overall value of an 8 a m to 10 p m but it had close for tw0
testltute of higher education. hours in the morning because we couldn't afford
Dean Tollman stated that the need for more a librarian."
money was essential to continue "junior stu-
dent" programs on an adequate basis. "For Btudenta observed the pediatric ward and
those first and second year people here who heard Cappiello Bpeak of research on a once
must get a closely supervised clinical instruc- f fey a tafl member ThatB n
tion program, patients must be available and example o the dedication to work which some
permissive. This can only be accomplished men are willing to But fte days when a
through a program " yt Wed 10 man would be willing to work for small pay
carry on here," he added. he could get better salaries elsewhere
Dr. Lawrence A. Cappiello, pubUc relations disa aring., Dr. Cappiello stated,
officer of the Medical School and Bob Carter, Medical Jn connection with the
president of the Medical College student body Numng School and hospital 8eeking more
hewed the group the two wards which have M to continue m glving Bervices to people
had to be closed because of lack of operational Nebraska
funds. Dean Tollman said that the College must con-
Dr. Cappiello stated that funds for the college m dequate job rf teaching And
pay the 12 aur.es which must serve in each ag Er Cappiello put lt ..At a state institution
ward if the wouldemaln open. fundj mufit come from the people of
He pointed out that when the hospital was tte state"
in greatest need of state funds or when the
useable funds were most lacking was the same MgiAf UfUtlK
time the major portion of patients come to w vi siwuiv
the hospital. Members of America's barroom fraternity
Dean Tollman noted that since Nebraska is were taken back recently when the Arizona
suffering from the drought and must watch Lath and Plaster Institute adopted a resolution
the budget carefully, more patients would be protesting the association of the plastering trade
seeking the services of the University hospital with overindulgence. A representative of the
"since we serve only indigents." group had this to say, "You don't say a person
Dr. CappieUo stated that the unit is unable to is 'shingled', 'painted' or 'landscaped'. Then
eome from two major sources: state legislation why say 'plastered?' "
and student fees. He added that counties which Actually synonyms for the after-effects of the
send patient there pay "up to $4 a day" and fine art go back a long way. Ben Franklin was
some patients are able to meet expenses par- perhaps the first to make an extensive vocabu-
tiajiy, lary as he jotted such terms as cherry-merry,
"However, there are no patients here who has a skin full, oiled, mellow, frozen, pretty well
pay cash," Dean Tollman said. entered and in his suds to name only a few of
Since the closing of the two wards, the Uni- his 228 delightful quips on record,
yersity Hospital has 84 adult beds, 20 pediatric Noting some of the terminology of today we
beds and about 40 baby cribs. The hospital has would be right at home with smashed, ploughed,
a total of 10 wards. hammered, soused, blind, loaded, stewed,
; At present there is no teacher shortage in stoned, three sheets to the wind, higher than a
"the unit "except in the field of micro-biology and kite, crocked and many, many, many more. We
related studies. We hava 10 full-time doctors, could go into the after-after-effects here but that
25 part-time men and nearly 300 volunteer doc- may not be too appropriate.
it it
From tho editor's desk:
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m m wis evssf w m m mmt
towards none
Perhaps many of you wonder 4. Many of our children win "but I'm getting tired of being
Why The Nebraskan has de- attend the University. It is not stuck for the drinks."
voted so much space recently ridiculous to state that what is
to tha University budget. done now have a "al Durin thi bi' briht new
There is seemingly very little fect on the of education 19". bPf to dispose
that University student can receive- me ol,d V
do to directly affect the out- 5 ver7 real P0 that one of m ancestor
com of the University's $5.5 sibility that tuition will be with him when the mobs be-
million request. raised if the requested budget gan to burn my family's an-
if . . is not given full or almost full cestral dwellings in old New
ft? I iTffTrJlZ PProval. York state. It seems that
braskw beUeves that th. Do yourself . favor. Find some of the so-called Loyalists
student body should be in- out what's going m and be- headed by Alexander Hamil-
formed imdconcerned with th come a little concerned about ton were traversing through
University budget and th ne- Fi know somebody, JJ
Mssitv for iU full aooroval talk to them. Write your par- ince my ancestor was a royal
T l , i ents and ask them what they adheereent of the King, he
1. BasraUy, money is th feared for his
lifeblood of th. institution. Th d tmtl0n After locking his wife (also
xtent and quality of education ""' Ior to8tance , " my ancestor) and his six chil-
which is given to each student , dren (also my ancestors) in a
is dependent upon the relative Over th holidays, people gpacious ciMet, he jumped on
amount of operating funds would take me along with hlg hor8C) named Rutabaga,
with which th University has them to restaurants and plush 8nd headed for j0Uy( j0ny
to operate. downtown Grand Island cock- Englandi He stuffed his'saddle
- 5. Th progress of th state tail lounges-usually to pay bagg with Loyalist property
Will be affected by th re- bm when Ume came which has passed down
search and auxiliary program to depart for warmer climates. through generations to me.
carried on by th University. I remember a friend of mine oh yes, my ancestor became
S. The prestige of the Uni- named Murray who was cap- a carpetbagger in court of
versity is dependent upon an tured by cannibals in the south King George and later mar-
adequate staff and continuing " Ecn dy s,ey would ried a lady of the court, Nell
progress in all fields of edu- cut hia arm wlth a spherical Gwenn.
cation and research. In 10 razor blade and drink his if anyone has any need for
years end in 20, we will U be blood- Loyalist property . . .
alumni of the University. We He became weary of this -r
will bear its naine through and called the chief. "You can 1
Ufa. boil me and eat me," he said, ytfr ieHiCPl
The Nebraskan
nTTY-Fira TEASS CtS EDITORIAL STAFF
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. .... Editorial F( Editor ...... ...... .....Hack LondHrom
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t...-.rS..i; 0S BrffiJS Marlanna Th.vewon, CynthlB
UsccKaska' o.v.'h.1 wtn'
T !"fl to TwVi W4(M4a mto Bepoifteni Carole Frank, Row Wartnwskl, Judy
T r , , 1 i hi kmp, ,,,t d-.r)n varxttona ' fiieler, Marilyn Nlisra, Minnettrr lw-
i - , t s.- f t, ia pvhtiihri iartnf Diana Maxwell, Sandra VtHain,
. w mt t"?)vry of hl-ka mirt ioAna Gaboron, Doothjr Hall. Dlanna
t . . -a tt ' Ciow"ii vo Ir-tiomi 4f.,.i Orae, Stan Widman, Art Blatkmaa,
I -.-! . ,i f tsi.f.-mj i"-. -iia, Ft -: .. Barbara Mtton, Bill Wlbnn. Gary
t ' is ti t4 , . tn fc.tt. at fur- . tttmim, Oary MnAfm, Mary Dm
t- I I '.'! w Patwreon, Grtrha Sacfr, Dcanna
i t . . r f& ni nv af-m? Bariwtt, Georga Porter
l t ? ir .-.(.; J. ,r -st tfaj aaalMH ManMNW 6MTM MaHl
f , . p i 'h mj I, - C'Cretatl Huam Rltfeard Henarla
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LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS " by.DIck Bibfer
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'YOUCAN KEEP THE W Kcm 1011 (VEffi SO CLEVER THAT NO
TIME OUWTH' EIAM WUtAdETO DETECT HOWWvggCICTM.'
The
conoclast
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--mum
A few random, wandering
thoughts written as they occur. . ,
I finally remembered who E. B.
Ellison, Jr. is. I knew the name
sounded familiar when I read his
nasty epistle, and I have placed
it. E. B. was my roommate last
semester. The reason I didn't re
call him at first was that what
with his roistering I seldom saw
him while we were living together.
He slept during the day, I con
servative that I am slept at
night, and thus he is chiefly re
membered as a shape in the upper
bunk. Come to think of it, I did
meet him once; he was coming in
as I was getting up. We talked
about the cowboy movie, my ar
gument being that the horse opera
in the style of Gene Autry and
Roy Rogers is a distinct, albeit
imperfect art form and entitled to
respect as such; Ed -wrong-thinker
that he is disagreed. Never
theless, that was a pretty intel
lectual conversation for seven
a.m.
My contention remains the
same: the cowboy movie is a mod
ern morality play worthy of all
the effort Hollywood can exert to
help it live up to its promise.
Consider the formalism of the
"oater," a formalism as rigid as
that of a Greek play. We are
shown a spotless hero, a spotless
heroine, and a villain who is noth
ing but one continuous spot. They
move within a plot which is a mar
vel of simplicity, without subtle
nuances or sophisticated brick
brack. The action is forthright to
the point of being stunning; I shall
never forget the spectacle of a vil
lainous henchman falling at least
two stories off a balcony and land
ing on a pool table which prompt
ly collapsed, I shall never forget
it though I was only four years
old when I saw the movie in which
it occured.
In the world of confused rela
tivism which I have so often be
rated, a view of the Old West,
where men (were) men and
morality (was) morality, refreshes
me. You may call me an escapist
if you wish (and E. B. Ellison,
Jr. probably will), but I am en
chanted by a world in which I
know that right will win. The world
of today, which does not even know
what is right, sometimes repulses
me.
a
A columnist who appeared in
this space last year was pictured
every week smoking a pipe. Un
happily neither his verbiage nor
his briar is in evidence any more.
Instead we are confronted every
week by Max Shulman's sneaky
essays on cigarettes. Shulman, you
know, is the fellow who bandies
jests about for two or three para
graphs to get us into a good mood,
then suddenly subverts our minds
with commercials for nicotine
tubes.
In the face of the syndicated
pitchman and his many admirers
I shall proceed to enumerate the
virtues of a pipe, which are two.
The first was best expressed by
my thirteen year old brother when
he said, "A writer should smoke
a pipe because he should look dis
tinguished and any slob can smoke
Steve Schultz
cigarettes." Of course, his philos
ophy is not accurate; you cannot
judge a book by its cover or a
man by his Kaywoodie. But the
right pipe carries connotations:
the onlooker associates it with
English lords, vibrant collegiate
virility, and his old grandfather
who burned a lot of Prince Albert
and matches while playing check
ers. The second advantage of a pipe
is the tradition which can be at
tached to it. He would be a very
unimaginative briar-chugger in
deed who could not look at the
bowl of his pipe and sign, "These
nicks are from the ashtray at . . ."
or "It got this scratch the night. ."
or "I charred it lighting it with
the cigarette lighter my pinmate
gave me for Christmas."
This tradition is not to be scorned
in any personal article. I bought
leather suitcases because the sales
man in the store said I would be
come attached to them. And sure
enough, now every time I pack
my clothes, I look at the suitcase
and remember how it was scuffed
during an unfortunate but, in re
trospect, hilarious bus trip to
Omaha.
But I was talking of the memor
ies which hallow pipes. I'll close
the discussion with a comparison.
Think of the incidents a well-used
pipe can recall from the subcon
scious. Then contemplate the death
of cigarettes millions of expend
able rolls of tobacco lying in thou
sands of forgotten ashtrays. The
thought is melancholy, but cigar
ettes do not accumulate memor
ies. The most they can hope to
gather is lipstick.
Ill 111.11 I lLIIJl.llil...llilMl.ll,lIMlJ.pilll.all..UWIllJiy-.yia'"llll 111 "" 1 " IHP''lll.U'l Ml Ul
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hi ..-i mt r m rir-rirnr Miliirrc .i.IMi Yfii..i m, mh alwiiii uni itf frt iVufrtllV'irfi'iair ifcarnilMii Mi niiiiHTI-ilfl'iiihiifUMliitiiiii
Nobody Gave A Hoot For J. Paul Sheedy Till
Wildroot Cream-Oil Gave Him Confidence
"Wlta vary! y avoid mi o?" h-owled J. PauL "Because you're such a
ruffled old bird", replied hit best buddy. Well that really opened Sheedy's
tyei. He took s taxi-dermist down to the store and pecked up a bottle
of Wildtoot Cream-Oil. Now he's the picture of
confidence because he knows his hair always looks its
best from morning till night. So if people have been
hooting at yeut messy hair, screech for a bottle or
tube of Wildroot Cream -Oil. It's guaranteed to keep
your hair neat but not greasy. And all the gals will go
out of their way to beak to you.
o131 So. Harris Hill RJ.,WUliamsviUt,N. Y.
Wildroot Cream-On
gives you confidence
P
SHerrf Majority
Let us assume the tuition at the
U. of N. were nearly doubled.
What would happen to my friend
Yogurt Z. Kritch and many other
men and women at this Univer
sity? Since his fathers business hasn't
been especially prosperous the
past few years, Yogurt is working
part time to pay his way through
school. He has just barely been
able to get enough money to pay
all of his necessary expenses like
room and board, books, and TUI
TION. Then, if he has any money
Dwaine Rogge
Asm
left, he buys some new clothes to
give him that Joe College look.
If tuition were doubled, Yogurt
would have to find $180 more dol
lars. That is very near to being
an entire month's salary. But al
ready Yogurt is spending aoout all
he and his parents can allocate
for his education. His brothers and
sisters need money, too.
Mr. Kritch is intelligent, but
since he had to work part time
he could not keep a 6.5 average
to get his Regents scholarship
back. Some student loans are
available; however, there is not
enough money here for everyone
who needs it.
So with no way to get money
to pay the extra tuition, Yogurt
would probably have to drop out
of Engineering College.
The real tragedy, I fear, is that
many University students would
find themselves in the same per
plexing situation as Yogurt. Here
on this campus there are many
students whose parents are very
wealthy. These people would not
be hurt much by an increase in
tuition. However, there are also
financially successful. Here are
the students who would be treated!
unfairly.
Many of these students are in
telligent enough to make very good
use of a college education. They
might make good businessmen,
doctors, or engineers, but for lack
of money they may go out to b
relatively less productive and use
ful members of our society. This
should not happen.
Some Institution of higher learn
ing should be within financial
reach of almost all fairly intelli
gent citizens. The Universit" should
be that place.
Quick
Quips
More Lighter Side
(ACP) A couple of shorties,
picked up from the Statesman,
published at the University of
Minnesota Duluth Branch- You
might try the first one out on tha
girl friend:
Adam was the first electron io
engineer, mainly because he fur
nished spare parts for the world'
first loud speaker.
The young man who just re
ceived his college degrees rushed
out and said: "Here I am world;
I have an AB!" And the world re
plied: "Sit down, son, and I'll
teach you the rest of the alphabet.
v
Wife: Darling, how did you evr
get junior to eat olives?
Hubby: Simple, I started him out
with Martinis.
The other day we met a man
who had reached the depths of dis
illusionment. He had spent $200 on
a permanent cure for halitosis and
then discovered that nobody liked
him, anyway.
with
(Autktr of "Bartfeet Boy WiA Of It," H.f
SOME MORE
LITTLE STORIES WITH BIG MORALS
First Little Story
Once upon a time there was an Indian brave named
Running Bear who had a squaw named Giggling Water.
Giggling Water was sort of a mess, but she sure couldH
make beaded moccasins. Every day she whipped up a
brand-new pair of beaded moccasins for Running Bear
which were so gorgeous that all the Indian maids on tha
reservation grew giddy with admiration.
Well sir, Giggling Water got livid about all the girls
making goo-goo eyes at Running Bear, and one night sh
told him so. Then he got livid too, and they had a terrible
rumble, and he slapped her on the wrist, and she started
crying like crazy and moved out of the wigwam and
went home to her mother and never came back.
"Good riddance!" said Running Bear, but he soon
found out how wrong he was, for the Indian maids were
not really interested in him, only in his moccasins, and
when he stopped showing up with a new pair every day,
they quickly gave him the yo-heave-ho, and today he is
a broken man, sitting all alone in his tepee and muttering
ancient Ute curses.
MORAL; Don't fight the hand that beads you.
s
$e itudetifc Act tfrt tike fl&tfa& chuff?
Second Little Story
Once upon a time there was a sweet old gentleman
named Nathan who ran a tobacco counter at a large
American university. All of the students loved him
dearly, and they us&d to come over whenever they could
to buy Philip Morris Cigarettes and chat with Nathan,
both of which were highly satisfactory pursuits. The
Philip Morrises were highly satisfactory because they
are full of natural goodness that is friendly and humane
and soothing and no small consolation in this strife
ridden world of ours. Nathan, like Philip Morris, was
also full of natural goodness that was friendly and
humane and all like that.
Well sir, the students smoked Philip Morris and
yocked with Nathan, and everything was lovely. Then
one day the university decided to fire Nathan and put
in a cigarette vending machine instead.
Well sir, the students did not take that lying down,
you may be Bure ! They organized a monster rally and
went over to prexy's house and made fiery speeches about
good old Nathan and how they loved him.
Well sir, prexy was no fool, and when he saw how
heartbroken the students would be if Nathan went, he
decided that the wisest course was to keep Nathan and
cancel the cigarette vending machine. This he did, and
they all lived happily ever after.
MORAL: Better Nate than lever.
Third Little Story
Once there was a lion, which was a very quiet Hon.
In fact, the only time it eveij made a sound was when
it had a toothache.
MORAL: When it pains, it roars.
CHaz Shulman, 195t
Philip Morris, tpontor of this column, would like to point a
moral toot Nothing ventured, nothing gainod. Try a pack
of Philip Morris, and oin yourself a heap of pleasure!
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