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Friday, Apr3 5, mt
Page 4
THE NEBRASKAN
Humiliated Pharmacists
Attack Crusading 'Daily'
By Wally Becker
Close on the heels of the startl
ing expose by George Tierney
Shestak of the outrageous estate of
the Pharmacy college, avalanches
of bitter denials and stinging re
bukes cascaded down about the
heads of the crusading Ncbraskan
editors.
Outraged and humiliated phar
macists, stung that their awful se
cret had been so cruelly laid bare,
fumed and frothed (at 98 centi
grade), while demanding redac
tion of the article and decapitation
ol Shcstak.
Bomb Shell.
Shestak's journalistic bomb
shell blasted away the shrouds of
secrecy which have for lo! these
60 years shielded the insidious goings-on
in the quiet, ivy-draped
Pharmacy college. The stunning
revelation struck the grim, silent
college with the fury of a torren
tial tornado and left it like an up
set anthill, with nurses, "stu
dents," and Dr. Lyinan scurrying
about the humble ruin. These em
battled pharmacists, with the
scalding tears of hot rage burning
their fiery eyes, fell full five
fathom in furious attack upon the
noble heads of our editors.
To no avail! We shall not re
tract! It was with the hard, gem-like
flame of the true radical that
Shestak revealed that Pharma
cognosy 576 was in reality a
course in the Chocolate Malt; and
that advanced Pharmaceutology
487 actually dealt with limes,
limeades and limericks; or that
frosted fudge sundaes masquer
aded as Pharmacology 6(16; and
that basic course Pharmacy 1 was
really the Cherry Coke.
Outrageous.
i Publication ol a few ot these i
peurile attacks against our cour
ageous expose will only serve to
demonstrate the essential truth of
our cause. One Vicky Chilquist
who purports to be a senior in the
College of Pharmacy, dared dis
pute the veracity of the famed
story. "Whenever the Daily Ne-
braskan should care to visit the
College," she retorted, her breath
coining in quick, hot gasps, they
will find us engaged in work ol
a serious and complex character
Yes. the Daily Nebraskan is fully
cognizant of the exacting mental
exertion demanded in the elab
orate construction of a chocolate
mint soda.
One Bernice Kimball, claiming
lo be a "student" of pharmacy
waxed indignant over the daring
article: "Scandalous! ' she scrcm-
ed, quite forgetting in her rage tt
pul the straws in the lime phos
phate she was concocting at the
time.
One Bill ZTmmerlee, professing
to be an intimate of the Pharmacy
clique, forsook the cigars and to
bacco he was grading according
to nrice. long enough to curse, "in
extreme poor taste, suh."
One Chaiieen Miller, who has
sold h erlil'e into Pharmacy cast
ing dark looks over her shoulders
and narrowing her lids in hatred.
muttered: "That George Tierney
was anti-pharmacal by birth and
breeding," as she arranged a col
ored display of tooth brushes.
That very cleanly disposes of
the wretched objections of the
pro-Pharmasists, and now to run
those "Pharmasists" off the cam
pus. They'll throw up a barricade
before twelfth and R, but if need
be we can gut them out of the
basement crevices there.
Delenda est Pharmacol
4
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