PACE FOUR
THE DAILY NEBKASKAN, THURSDAY. MARCH 31. 1938
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He is wondering if just holding
her hand in show would satisfy.
t
Bipgest scoop of the year! The
A. W. S. board announces 2:30
nights for heavy dates, 2 o'clock
for medium dates and 1:30 for
lightweight ones (they forgot to
mention whether they were refer
ring to mental capacity or that
measured by the scales). Yes,
rules are liberal at this, the white
spot of Nebraska,
APRIL FOOL!!!
BY THE HAUN TRESS
By student poll taken yesterday
at Ellen Smith Hall and practically
everywhere else on the campus
DOROTHY VAX rATTOX and
BOB BKGHTOL. Theta and Beta,
were unanimously elected most
romantic couple.
Famous gridster from the Pelt
house, JOHNNY HOWELL, has
been seen flitting hither and yon
with little MARY CLINK, shrink
ing violet, from the D. G. house.
Said Johnny when one of his
friends congratulated him on win
ning her affections, "I have al
ways liked the quiet simple souls.
Tt gives a man such a superior
feeling to be able to talk about
himself to a good listener."
JUNE STF.BBIXS, lovelv bond
Ti Phi, and HARRY TROt'TY. D.
U. go their separate ways. They
both feel that they're much too
young to be seeing so much of
each ot:icr.
Tilt Tfsi's big activities man.
THURSTY THKLPS, has decided
to give tip marriage for a career,
and he really has some excellent
offers. Just now he is debating be
tween a position as special adviser
to the Camp Fire Girls of Lincoln
and an opportunity to take to the
high roads as Fuller Brush sales
man. Bob Metz 'Who has been doing
the Haunter column of late has
banned all Sigma Xu dirt. In fact
he declares, the Sigma Nil's just
aren't doing anything at present.
They're the biggest bunch of
woman haters on the campus.
1'. c c
Just to prove Unit the gay social
whirl has not completely caught
up all the coeds, FLORA ALB1N,
Tri Pelt is giving up more trivial
affairs for the study of music. She
and BILL GRAY ' have attended
no less than 37 concerts in the past
month and spnd most of their
time playing symphonic records
on the new viclrola they invested
in so that they might better enjoy
the higher things of life.
t. U.'s lady's man. LEONARD
LU'NKER. has at last found the
perfect girl, only until yesterday
he had to admire her from afar.
When he finally got a coke date
with her, he asked her to go
steady. Friday the gal takes pos
session of his pin. The girl in
question is tiny Mary Vogel. They
make such a perfect pair.
V. ij.
Sifi Alph BOB WATCH comes
to us with iii. troubles. It seems
that this young lad is a bit on the
bashful side. The girl he has been
dating for the past three years
would probably appreciate some
gesture of affection, but alas. Bob
scarcely knows what to do when
he takes her to the door. tHe has
not, you see, ever kissed a girl.)
Could some of the .brothers please
help him out ?
AL LF.FFERDINK, Sigma Chi
pledge yet. finds the same difficul
ties as Bob. Only in his case, pitch
ing woo is against his principles.
BY T1IK II UlNTKR
Starts TODAY!
HI
IN
We have just seen Jane Bell,
K. K, G and one of the better
Betas wheeling down the street in
a baby buggy.
All the pledges in the fraterni
ties and sororities on the campus
have walked out on their unsus
pecting brothers and sisters be
cause o fthe twoo awful hell weeks
that were dished out to them.
Everybody is so happy that
yours truly has taken over this
column because it is going to be
kept so clean and we mean very
clean. There will be no dirt about
any certain persons in this column
from now on. Yea, if it were only
true.
'
Listen my children. Two days
ago, a man entered all of the soro
rity houses and stole the silk
stockings that were drying from
their evening wash. Even the ones
that had never been worn were
taken. Now, the femmes put up
an awful howl because the gents
don't like to have their dates come
out without leggings because their
knees glisten when the moon
shines down on, them. Well, our
young ladies didn't go out until the
viper brought back the necessary
articles. This is nil true if you can
stand it but yet maybe it is a
joke.
We hope you have a perfectly
lousy time during spring vacation
and you don't do anything that
will get you into any trouble that
will get you into this column. It
would be terrible to have to tell
any secrets on any persons. April
Fool and stuff!
Billy' Dc
Correvont Nibbles
At Cornhuskcr Inducements
Lute dispatches from Chicago
this morning indicate that Bill
DeCorrcvont, Austin high football
star, who had previously said he
would attend Northwestern, has
definitely decided to accept Ne
braska's offer of room, board tui
tion, books, and spending money,
plus 100 per month for incidentals,
and will enroll her next Septem
ber. "
PcCorrevont stated that it had
always been his secret ambition to
become a Whitespot competitor,
adding that it was not the athletic
offer which influenced him, but the
high scholastic standards of the
school whose departments of
study rank higher in every field
than those at Harvard, Chicago,
Johns Hopkins, Minnesota, Yale,
or such places.
The five other Austin high play
ers who were to enroll with Bill
at Northwestern will also accept
Whitespot offers, preferring to
follow PcCorrevont through thick
and thin, and from Northwestern
to Nebraska.
JjIIiJ-"-1 V WIPE OUT
TCiT 5 The Spawn-
public VrV- & ing place
enemy il that breeds
at 14! i CN v l o morrow's
" h;.rr, " vbo- H1 p u b 1 ic En
COOPER Lg
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(Awardrd PARENTS MGAilb MEDM
BOOKSTORE
ISN'T SO VERY
INEFFICIENT
(Continued from Tape 1.)
! report of Mr. James Watchem
state accountant, as he completed
a thorough checkup of the book
store on the Nebraska campus.
"As near as we can ascertain,
the bookstore is running on the
usual 40 percent profit basis,"
Watchem declared. "We found
only 43 cases where bookstore em
ployes received their books cheaper
than the student public. This is
indeed a clear record."
Burying the Hatchet.
The audit and investigation by
"Watchem has settled a long dis
pute between members on the in
side of the bookstore and members
of the student council committee
of bookstore investigation. Altho
no member of the state auditing
department has ever been allowed
to delve into the records of the
I I B IIS I I t I i C P f. II
'.'.Lv' i-J a. E 1 rv I-.v F R A'X V-'Vf
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ANOTHER REASON WHY
thil ! our BIGGEST, FINEST Program!
The "NAVY GLUE 4. GOLD'' Sweet
hearts Are Together Again in
with t
Robert YOUNG Florence R!CE
Prink Morgan Edna Mae Oliver
Mary Astor Reginald Owen
turn ti " ;
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r W)e .:)'.' ttftjtm
Get Ready fop the
Gayest Show of the
Easter Season!
Ulll
university. Mr. Watchem vas
! made an exception because of the
I demand.
Members of the committee
maintained that they were unable
! even to "go behind the counter in
j the bookstore." When inside book
store members consented, the state
accountant was called in.
What! In Good Condition?
Mr. Watchem was indeed grati
fied to find the bookstore in such
good condition. lie said that he
had heard many nasty rumors
about the organization and that
he expected to find more corrup
tion and graft than he did. He
nas suggested, nowever. mat inei
bookstore books be audited once
every monln.
"It is not in my scope to tiny
whether or not I believe the book
store is setting its medium of ex
change too high." Mr. Watchem
said. "Eut I certainly do believe
that students of the future should
keep their eyes open toward the
bookstore. It'3 an interesting l
place."
The university purchasing agent
who has complete charge of the
student bookstore could not be
reached for a statement.
FEDERAL DICKS
EXPOSE THRILLING
CAMPUS HOAX
(Continued from Tage 1.)
fifth, Wun Lung Woo, escaped
with over J150.OO0.
They money had been collected
on the campus Wednesday by 100
universiy students working thru
the Y. M. and Y. V. C. A. and os
tensibly was to be used to aid :
oriental students in war torn areas
Of the far east,
Tolice declared they had estab
lished beyond reasonable doubt
that the culprits (meaning the
orientals) were expropriating the
monies to finance a Barbers
school in Surhaw. Only mystery
I yet to be cleared up was how the
"China Clippers" had established
connections with the university
"Y" offices.
Burdock Shomes in Case.
Burdock Shomes. expert linguist
from the department of justice
who has snared more than one
glib-tongued felon, said that the
pilfering of the l.r0 grand was un
doubtedly an inside job ani that
it was not in any way connected
with recent moral lapses on Wall
St.
Shomes said that subversive
foreign elements (representatives
of the Chinese Barber's school i
had propagandized local religious ,
leaners inti promulgating me
campaign for funds. "Above all,
students who contributed to the
little circular cheese boxes yester
day should not be put out." he
said. "Such a thing could happen
to all of us."
Let Ui Be Cubtle.
Instead of taking a blood test
to determine the racial purity of
all who participated in the cam
paign and who may have lccn In
cahoots with the swindlers. Bur
dock Shomes will employ a much
subtler method of apprehending.
All students participating in the
I drive will be required to learn and
recite the Gettysburg address
I backwards. Those who do so with
I most facilitv will be under strong
suspicion. Shomes asserted. "It is
a well known fact that Chinese
people do things best barkwards."
n the spring, young men's fancies
turn to love nnl m forth. At least th:it "s
what Pee Wee sail when lie siiw (ioorge
.Shackelford (it the Woyiil (.J rove Tuesday
n it o. And he wasn't with his true love,
Wilma rulliam either. Oh well, ns ve
said, in the spring young men's fancies
turn to ete.
And here is another little newsy hit
before we nil take n veil earned rest
fro:., our heavy eurrieulnr work, .lean
Kowe of the Lincoln General Hospital and
the Kappa House seems to have at least
one true love. While she was walking on
a eane, recuperating from her recent in
jury, this suitor was at her rlhow at ev ery
step. Of course we couldn't loll what,
went on between steps, hut it is said that,
one of her former good friends approached
Hill Williams, the while slave driver, and
asked him how he was progressing with
Miss Kowe. Hill retorted, "Well, 1 have
her ear, don't I?M Hep Wee says he
wishes he knew a girl with a ear.
Hut you don't need a ear if you have
one of thes-e new Hush .lack els and a
new pair of slacks from GOLD'S. Of course
Harry Prouly has a swell car and shows
darn good taste in his clothes. Kven at
that he was going to he on the safe side
when he bought a Hush Jacket at Gold's.
Yon ought to have a permanent "in" at
the Pi Phi house with that swell campus
outfit.
A very funny thins happened Tues
day evening at Way's Inn when Lou Lip
man was sitling with Hill Saeket, A small
hoy about, four years old walked up to
the table and. after cycinsr the occupants,
said. "Hi, Daddy!'' to Lou. You may
draw your own conclusions, but Pee Wee
isn't say inc.
Pee Wee tells n pood 1ale about .lolm
Stoddart, Herb (ilovcr and Lou Vordgreeu
wilh their dates on a picnic not. so long
ago. It seems that they found the desired
spot and he fellows proccded to lay out
the site for the party, piling blankets in
three, definite and distinct piles. The girls
sat in the ear, watching the procccdiims
and when all arrangements had finally
been made, they refused to get out of the
car. .
The fellows, so Pee 'Woe said, sat mi
their respective piles of blankets and cmi
sutned the refreshments while the feminine
members of the party looked on. 'When
Iho refreshment containers were empty,
they all went back home. Perhaps that is
what is called a good picnic. At least the
dates didn't cost much.
And it doesn't cost much 1o take ad
vantage of the marvelous barrel sale that
is heme held at (.'OLD'S the rest of this
week. A great savins is available to you
fclows who have been waiting to gel that,
new spring outfit. Yon can be fitted from
the skin out a1 the greatest sa ings in years
by dropping into GOLD'S men's seclimi
this week.
It is rumored that A T O George 1'n
thank has an inside Irack to the girls in
llie house just north of the Pi Phi house.
If any of you fellows are curious, just ask
Gporgc.
We wonder why the Tri Chi sign was
painted on lhc walk leading up to Helen
McLaughlin's residence. Have you friends
in the dental college or do they just want
you to keep 1 bom in mind?
Overheard at the drus, "Now that II,
Me. is president at the Kappa house and
has taken her tribe out of here at noun,
a fellow can hear himself drink his own
soup."' Maybe they don't have soup at
the Kappa house. 1 . K.
Love all and we will be seeing ymi
after vacal ion. In t he meant hue, be goo,.
Pantu d h
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I mmmm T TK"T vn ' 1 j
Nebraska University's publicity
program, dubbed at Us inception
as the Kampus Kalendar, will
make its debut over the IBS, (In
ternational Broadcasting System t.
starting June 1". this year. The
shining talent and versatility of
the characters who have partici
pated in the broadcasts this year
have merited the program consid
eration by officials of the Inter
national system. Edward F.
Burko, head of the association be
lieves that the program will pro
mote the welfare and rood will of
foreign nations as far as Nebras
ka is concerned. The Kampus
Kalendar has been TAKING the
air for the past few weeks, and
will continue to take it up until its
new series.
Awgwan ta Sponsor
Radio Program.
i "Well, sh'll tell ya ," drawled
i Bros K.imul. hillbilly editor of the
Awgdan, "Ah've had invitations
from Benny, Bergen, Allen, and
even McCarthy, (his came on
wood pnlpi to go on the air, so
,ah guess ah msnght as well.
! Shucks, taint no fun jist mnsin'
i roun down here in the office all
! iay."
Yep. the Awgwan, with Amer
ica's foremost humorist, A. Bruce
i Campbell, will take the air, to in
! crease the number of Nebraska
activities on national and "interna
tional hook-ups to four, starting
tomorrow at 1 :.10 a. m.
Hurry! Last 2 days.
Ilrldl. ."! IVIrr "i "
thp tmnhta folk hrmttht
to lHt.cl.lnc, Imlnc I. f -; 1
mwmmmm mmm
f t bnlKLc. i
TTIVTUT T
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HEIDI"
.Irnn Hrrhill .rlhr Trmrhrf
""2NO BIG FEATURE!
Whfrt t 111 th-v trlke rwiT
ht tPl ! their foul'.'
t nn thr Inndf nf
MltMum Mm 'I
lnnf Umti
fG" J
mm now
ALSO I f"J 1
Frank H.iwks I - i,
in V g i W j
IT
"The SPY RING
LIBERTY
NO. 2
iir wrstfrn ktnc nf nt n1
n drill- rrith tnln til filtl
cfitliiK runpr ttilrntitrf.
Gene Autry
Judith Allen
loots Saddles"
We'll Stake a Steak!
and wager that here
is the kind of a
comedy y o u'v e
been hunger
ing for!
(I VARSITY Starts Sunday
I 4-B1G UNIT SHOWS 4
4- -ar. - mm . r... mmf'
'II
1 m
: JUS (
One Week
FRIDAY
WATCH FOR THE SENSATIONAL "PRISON NURSE"
HIT NO. i
bill
No. J
High-Yo Silver
'LONE RANGER"
Chapter Ntt. 7
No. 4
WALT DISNEY
Color Cartoon
in for! (tfN 1
mm,
Alwyt
a Seat
For
. ...IMD V'--
rm
mm iu
1 0-4 VO
Hr 1 ST
HURRY! ENDS TONIGHTI
"THE G0LDWYN FOLLIES'
IN TECHNICOLOR!