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By Ed Steeves.
As we passed through the dress
ing room last night we picked up
a few interesting things (no one
saw us, pick them up). We would
line to pass them on to you.
We saw Harris Andrews over In
an obscure corner of the dimly
lighted room patching up the nicks
on nis crimson toe nail polish.
Bob Ramsey was struggling to
get into his double stretcher girdle
so as not to miss his date with a
comely coed.
Biff Jones was scraping the cork
irom a cigarette given him so that
he could smoke it shorter.
The University was threatened
as Trainer Cornell guzzled all
the rubbing alcohol in the sta
dium. There was a most per
plexing situation: Charlie-horses
galore and Cornell taking a bath
in the drinking fountain shout
ing "Onward, fellow Cornell
huskers!" Football scrimmages wil be dis
missed for a few days since a crap
game between the student man
agers and the local reporters lost
the school all Its grid equipment.
Coach Jones and Assistant Coach
Lyman merely sat and stared at
each other yesterday when they
heard the news.
The managers assured the
coaching staff that if they would
buy them some new dice, they
could have the equipment back in
a couple of nights.
Another thing, decidedly in con
tradiction to gridiron principles
here at Nebraska was the fact that
the field has recently been trans
formed into a waving field of corn.
Chan Burnett announces that
if the boys are careful, that they
may "utilize the facilities of
either mall for the staging of
their games of manly sport next
season."
THURSDAY, APRIL I, 1937
THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
THREE
KU
o-
Gridnien
Turn Pro
HUSKERS LEAVE
SIX 10 JOIN
SALARIED
RANKS
Players Go on Sitdown
Strike; Want Back
Pay Checks.
John Howell, ace twobit
backer, was injured quite seri
ously yesterday when he ran
thru double wingback forma
tions, punt formations and a
concrete wall. John not only
broke his back, but a:o had a
bad nose bleed. His nose bled
badly that all the scrimmaging
Huskers had to take time out
and put on their overshoes.
Today it was learned that the
University of Nebraska was really
in on this subsidization stuff, it
was confirmed when the players
went on a sitdown strike due to
the non-payment of their spring
checks. The strike was scheduled
for a week ago, but Charlie Brock,
leader of the movement, decided
that staging a sitdown In muddy
weather woul be none to comfort
able. Another startling discovery was
that the Huskers have withdrawn
from the Big Six conference. They
had no good reasons athletically
to renig from the traditional con
ference but Coach Biff Jones ex
plained it as follows:
"The boys were all dissatisfied
with measly checks of 50 per week
and something had to be done
Confering with higher authorities
i found that by swearing allegi
Hat for a Smart Spring
by STETSON
Put this hat down as a "must ' for
Spring . . . and wear it wherever dutv
calls. That wide-ish brim, cupped up
in back, that low band on a low crown,
that long "snap" well back to the bow,
are sure signs of the smartest style.
Stetson has done it again!
(S)
V 5TET50N
Stetson Hats
At Stores That Lead in Style
ance to the present administration
in Washington we could secure
some H. VV. F. M. (Higher Wages
for Football Mugs)."
Brock Wants New Towels.
For this reason the Huskers had
to vow to call themselves members
of the Democratic conference ex
clusively. In this lop they will com
pete with schools except those of
Maine and Vermont.
Upon investigation we found
that Brock, Callihan and Dobson
have not been suffering injuries
at all, they have merely been hold
ing out for their price. Brock as
serts that he Is worth more money
and also wants a clean towel to
wear in his belt every game next
year.
'No left over towels for me,"
swore Brock, "In the first place,
it's unsanitary, "and I'll stand like
the 'Brock of Gilbralter' till I get
what I want."
Now that the pay day of football
at Nebraska has come out into the
open, the school intends to really
come out and go in for subsidiza
tion. Gridders Get $20 a Month.
"We thought it would look a
little fishy to hire Red Grange,"
said Jones, "but now that every
one knows, don't be surprised if
you see Sampson's hair hanging
out of one of our helmets.
From this point on, athletes will
get $200 per month for a 12 month
year and a car for each. Funds for
this vast grid financing will come
from a lead pencil sale by all pro
fessors of the school.
Rooms for the athletes are being
planned on the sly by the Student
Union architect. He will be in
formed tomorrow that he need do
it no longer on the sly.
One student, corectly appelated
a stooge, will be hired for each
athlete to do his scholastic duties.
Applications may be filed with
John K. Selleck if accompanied by
P. B. K. recommendations.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
SYMPHONY CONVERTED
INTO SWING ORCHESTRA
72-Piece Band Rehearses for
Busy Season, Playing
At All Houses.
Director Howard Kirkpatrick
announced today that the school
of music will soon convert the Uni
versity Symphony orchestra into a
72 piece swing band which will
immediately start rehearsals for
free engagements at all sorority
and fraternity parties. Reason
given for the revolutionary change
is that the jazz type of music will
reach more undergraduates than
the music of the old masters.
Symphony Conductor Raymond
Reed will relinquish his baton to
Mr. Kirkpatrick, the swing maes
tro. Personnel of the new group
will include the present orchestra
members plus swing. Lyric sing
ers for the orchestra will be fur
nished by the "Elijah" chorus and
the men's glee club. The Cathedral
choir has been issued an invitation
to present syncopated numbers at
the first appearance of the group.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
P.B.K. SWAMPS ACACIA
IN INTRAMURAL SPORTS
Scholastic Honorary Takes
200 Point Lead in Race
For Athletic Crown.
Phi Beta Kapa appears to be
the coming intramural athletics
champion. With only the spring
sports remaining on the Intramu
ral schedule, the P. B. K.'s have
a 20 point lead over the second
place Green house, Sigma Xi and
seem to have the Jack Best
trophy cinched.
Sigma Delta Chi is third and
Mu Phi Epsilon is in fourth place
Acacia and Sigma Alpha Epsilon
usually in front of the pack, are
now in last and next to last places
Intramurals Director Petz stated
Wednesday that the sports pro
gram was running off on schedule
and further said:
"We hope to have tennis, golf,
horseshoes, and baseball finished
by this Sunday. However, if is
rains too much, we may have to
carry the sports over into the next
week.
STETSON
"The World Famous Hat"
In Every New Style
At
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
GUILD HONORS CRAWFORD
'Think for Yourself Made
April Literary Choice.
"Think for yourself," Professor
Robert P. Crawford's dynamic
hook on creative thinking, has
been chosen by the Literary guild
as the April selection for sub
scribers.
When Interviewed on this new
achievement. Professor Crawford
told the press: "I have only one
thing to say. The Literary Digest
was a bit presumptuous in saying
that mv book was 'not another
Wake Up and Live. It was not
intended to be. Mrs. Brande teaches
you how to discipline the body. I
teach you now to discipline ue
mind. '
Uickey Freeman & Hart Schaffner &
Marx Clothes
ir r"Mf m s-f
Hcitkottcrs yvJJ Market
QUALITY MEATS
AT LOW PRICES
Makers of Fin Sausage
and Barbecued MtaU
B 334S 140 89. 11th
IN LONGHORN RELAYS
SUM, SAYS SCUTE
Cardy Broadjumps Only 24
Feet; Sam'l Pushes
Shot Weakly.
"You can say in the paper," said
Coach Henry F. Schulte, shucking
the wrapper off a stick of gum
and beginning his perpetual molar
motion, "that I don't think we
have even an even chance to even
break even in the Texas relays."
That is an odd attitude for the
usually optimistic track coach to
take, but he continued in his gruff,
even, voice:
. "The squad isn't shaping up so
well. Sam has only worked out
four days so far this week and
can't seem to push the shot out
much farther than fifty-two feet
in one try. Cardy is pretty much
out of condition, too. Why, I had
him run twenty-two laps over
three minutes ago and he's still
breathing hard. That shows he
hasn't got the stamina he once
had. Go watch the boys, yourself
and see how bad they look. I'm
afraid it's just going to be a waste
of expense money, but don't tell
John K.
The reporter took the suggestion
and a stick of gum and wandered
over to get a closer view of the
toiling athletes.
Cardy Getting Lazy.
Schulte was right. The boys
looked mediocre, verging on the
average, almost. Cardy trotted
down the broad jump runway and
lazily leaped twenty-four feet.
Landing in the soft pit, he stayed
there for some minutes, rolling in
it and playfully kicking it in other
people s eyes.
The distance runners, Andrews
and Matteson, sprinted by on their
twentieth lap. Andrews said:
"Cardy takes his track too ser
ious like. If he'd only relax and
jog around a bit like us, we'd have
an outside chance in the Texas
relays. "
Even the athletes don't think so
much of their chances.
Fischer Too Fast.
Dick, the Valentine Fischer-man,
rocketed out of his starting holes
in a practice start and was fifty
yards down the runway before I
could count to twenty in Roman
numerals or twenty-five in fresh
man numerals.
"He's been doing that all week,"
commented another sprinter. "Petz
hasn't been able to time him at
all because he can't start the stop
watch in time to catch him. If
he can only get a quick start "
There it was again. Doubt. Fear.
Sam Francis was over in one
corner of the field tossing the shot.
Relayers Fetch Shotput.
There were four freshmen bring
ing back the four shots that he
used alternately. At least, I
thought they were freshmen. It
later turned out that they were
members of the quartermile relay.
Schulte was letting them get a
workout and helping Sam at the
same time.
As I drew near, I heard Sam
say worriedly:
"I can't seem to get enough
height."
I found out the reason for that.
He lost sight of them in the sun
and didn't see them until they hit
the ground again. Such pessimism
for victory and high hopes for
defeat has permeated the track
squad.
One trackster summed it all
gloomily, saying:
"I don't think we'll bring back
the bacon. I think we'll get our
goose cooked at that track meat."
It looks bad. But wait until
the reports of the meet come in.
D. X Quits Texas;
Returns to N. U.
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
W atch Thl 6pce.
Sun Too Hot, No Desire for
'Filthy Lucre, Cause
His Resignation.
Intensely suffering from sun
burn on his expansive bald pate,
Dana Xenephon Bible returned to
Nebraska today to take over work
immediately as director of the in
tramurals department. He has torn
up his long term contract with the
University of Texas where he has
been for two months as athletic
director and head football coach,
Nebraska's athletic board of con
trol announced.
Queried by Lincoln. Omaha,
North Platte and Timbuctoo
sportswriters as to why in the
world he ever forfeited the grid
tutorship in the lucrative oil fields
of Texas, D. X.. pfrspiring in his
plaid topcoat and peagreen fedora,
chuckled, "Wal, boys, Ah'U tell
y'all. . . . Ah've decided that this
here money business means noth
ing to me. ... Ah don't need the
stuff, and besides, Texas is a
blazin' inferno. Yessirie!"
Sun Scorched Head.
"Why, boys, lookie here." D. X.
continued as he removed his hat
to reveal a sun scorched dome,
"that doggone Austin sun just
burned man head to a crisp. Yessirie:"
gin work immediately at a salary
of $14.50 a week.
"Money No Factor."
In a formal statement issued to
the press Coach Bible told an as
tounded audience that "money is
no factor in my young life, but
athletics are to be regarded purely
as an honest, clean pastime.
"Football for the fun of it" was
the way Coach Bible sized up his
stand on the gridiron sport in his
statement. "There should be no
filthy lucre tied up with such a
noble game as football. It is in
tended for the youth of America
as a form of physical exercise and
when the taint of money enters
into the game, football, in all its
finer aspects, is in peril."
Hums Husker Song.
Eager to start his new work at
the Cornhusker institution, D. X.
sold his 1937 Chevrolet and hoofed
it to the coliseum where 219
vendors of Russian peanuts cheered
his return to Lincoln. Blissfully
happy in his familiar habitat,
Coach Bible ascended the stairs to
the intramurals department office,
munching a mouthful of the sun
flower seeds and humming a tune
that bore an amazing resemblance
to "There Is No Place Like Nebraska."
The resignation of Coach Bible
came to both Texas and Nebraska
as a complete surprise. Texas
athletic officials remonstrated
when the little colonel declared his
intentions of quitting to become
intramurals head at Nebraska, In
an extraordinary session of the
local athletic board at 4 o'clock
this morning D. X. signed a con
tract with the Cornhuskers to be-
Gridiron Dinner Tonight.
.1
"Your Drug Store
Drue Store Netrte at the Right Price
dOc Bromo yuinlne ac
60c Alka-Selzei . 49e
49c Bromo-Seltzer 30e
25c Luterlne Tooth Haste 19c
35c Vlcka Vapo Rub 29c
75c Llstenne Antiseptic 59c
SOc Ipana Tooth Paste 39e
You will enjoy out fine Box Chocolates.
Noon lunches at our New Fountain
The Owl Pharmacy
P St. at 14th
We Deliver
Phone Blofij
Margaret Sullavan
says Luckies are the
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answer for
her throat
"I am not sure which is more critical
a Broadway audience or the movie
microphones At any rate, whether in
Hollywood or Netu York, an actress
has to be certain that her performances
are always up to the peak. And that
means being careful of the voice and
throat. Thai's why, though I enjoy
smoking thoroughly, I try to use
judgment in the cigarette I choose
When I first began smoking, Luckies
were my choice, because I found this
light smoke advisable for my throat.
And that's as true today as ever
Luckies are still my standby."
A,
.n independent survey was made recently
among professional men and women lawyers,
doctors, lecturers, scientists, etc Of those who said
they smoke cigarettes, more than 87 stated they
personally prefer a light smoke.
Miss Sullavan verifies the wisdom of this pref
erence, and so do other leading artists of the
radio, stage, screen and opera. Their voices are
their fortunes. That's why so many of them
smoke Luckies. You, too, can have the throat pro
tection of Luckies a light smoke, free of certain
harsh irritants removed by the exclusive process
"It's Toasted". Luckies are gentle on the throat.
THE FINEST TOBACCOS
"THE CREAM OF THE CROP"
A Light Smoke
"Xfs Toasted"-Your Throat Protection
AGAINST IRRITATION AGAINST COUGH
rpTUM HIT. Tlit Anarleu Tatwn. Caaau
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