THE DAILY NEBRASKAN
Classification Reveals That Jokes
About Mothers-in-law Are Not Best
Columbus, Ohio., Jan. 10. Fat
.n pother-in-laws, and spinsters
!L 'not so funny as most people sup
nose So says Professor John C.
Almack of Stanford University. He
declares that after a six-year period
f joke classification he finds these
subjects jo not figure so prominent
ly as believed. Only four of the
iokes are about fat men, two about
mother-in-laws, and two about old
maids.
Scientifically tracing American hu
mor to its den of reality, Professor
Almack says that prohibition, poli
tics, women, and congress get most
laughs from the layman
Democrats are not quite so funny
as republicans; congress is four times
funnier than the League of Nations;
! W -2 J
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"WIFE SAVERS"
A Paramount Picture
WEEK
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A GREAT SHIPWRECK
Jackie Coogan
IN
"BUTTONS"
A M-G-M Picture
Suspense!!
THE MASKED MENACE"
"Wandering Waistlines"
A Comedy
NEWS
CDLOHIAL
Wow
Showing
SNAPPY I SCRAPPY!
ALWAYS HAPPY I
WILLIAM
V HAINES V
"WEST $
(f POINT''
ON THE STAGE
A Glorioue Garden of ClrU
JEANNE FULLER
DANCERS
Ten Talented Beauties in
"DANCE VARIATIONS"
RUTH GLANVILLE
America' Foremost Ldy
Sxiphonipt
A Marry Musical Mirthmaker
BOBBY JACKSON
'THE DUKE OF DUBUQUE"
Beaver and His Jazi Maniacs
NEWS
THIN
FABLEH
ROMANCE-
TENDER BEAUTIFUL
RONALD
COLMAN
and VILMA
BANKY
"THEMAGIC
FLAME"
ADDED
DOROTHY RAYMOND
Soprano
N,CH ORCHESU
fl
babies and back seat drivers place
well in drawing the available supply
of modern American guffaw.
The most frequent topics for quips
are Coolidge, Mussolini, Dawes, and
the Prince of Wales. Some others
that rate well are Queen Marie, Al
Smith, feig Bill Thompson, and King
Tut.
Through all this surveying and cal
culating, Professor Almack hopes to
be able to judge a joke instantly and
thus know when to laugh and how
hard. He believes that it will save
him from many embarrassing situa
tions. His experiments indicate that wo
men are not quite so funny as men
try to be, but he asserts that married
women do have a keener sense of ap
preciation than do their husbands.
Professor Almack says that a per
son whose facial muscles are par
alyzed cannot "see" a joke, and that
the feeling of amusement comes, not
before, but after, one has laughed.
This joke was the funniest of some
eight thousand on a thousand per
sons: "Doesn't that mule ever kick you,
Rastus?"
"No sah, he ain't yet, but he some
times kicks the place where I was."
The laughter provoked by the- joke
was the basis for its . lection as the
premier laugh-getter.
Alpha Sigs and
Sig Alphs Win
(Continued from Page 1)
ing 6 points accounted for the ma
jority of thecr team's total. Urban
performed well on the floor for his
team, handling the ball in an adept
manner.
Following is the box score of the
game :
Alpha Sigma Phi
fg ft pf
Norling f 4 10
Margaret f 2 2 0
Urban c Ill
Feterson g 0 0 4
Halbeisen g 0 S 2
Konkel f 0 0 0
Curtis f 0 0 0
7 7 7
Sigma Phi Epsilon
fg ft pf
Oehlrich f 4 0 0
Holmes f 0 10
Decker c - 112
Farley g 111
Elliott g 0 11
Krause f 0 2 4
Faytinger f 0 0 0
6 6 8
Referee: Tepley.
Coming back in the second half
with a spurt, the Sig Alphs won from
the Delta in a close affair. The
game from the beginning was mark
ed with close guarding and hurried
shots at the basket. The Sig Alphs
showed superiority in handling the
ball and bapt shooting but the
Delts made up for it with their fight
and spirit. At no time during the
game did one team have a great ad
vantage over the other. The play
being close, the score see-sawed
back and forth with Sigma Alpha
Epsilon holding the edge by two or
three points.
In the fourth quarter with but a
few minutes to play, the Sig Alphs
stalled for the whistle but the Delts
broke up several plays which result
ed in added points for them. The
whistle stopped a final last minute
rally on the part of Delta Tau Delta
and the game ended with the score
22 to 19 in favor of Sigma Alpha
Epsilon.
"Pinky" Morrison was the shining
light for the Sig Alphs, scoring 10
points for his team. Toms, the lanky
center, scored 7 points. These two
men handled the ball in fine style
and accounted for the majority of
their team's points. Grow took the
I ball off the back-board well and
aided in their "air-tight" defense.
King, playing forward for the
Delta Tau Delta team, was fast and
hard to stop. He led his team
mates with 10 points, followed close
ly by Hill with 6 points. Bauman
and Johnson fought hard at the
guard positions and helped in the
defense work of their team.
Following is the box score of the
game:
Delta Tan Delta
the twenty-eight page magazine in
cluding the two-color cover drawn by
James Fickering. Other art contrib
utors are Margaret Ketring, Alan
Klein, Tom McCoy, Tierre Wood
man, Berle Ilgen, R. E. Bundy, and
M. T. Roper.
Work on the Awgwan was delayed
Tuesday due1 to difficulty in drying
the cover. The front cover as in blue
and orange. The blue was printed
early Tuesday but a press was forced
to remain idle most of the day due to
its failure to dry quickly so that the
orange could be printed. A four-
color process being used on a back
cover advertisement may delay the
issue of the magazine.
Pi K. A., Phi Psi and
Phi Sig Win Games
(Continued from Pag 1)
their opponents.
The Phi Sig-Delt contest was the
most (interesting of those in the low
er division, the final score being 22
15, favoring the Fhi. Sigs. Trive.ly,
of the winning team was far in the
lead with a total of twelve points.
The Thi Sig defense was working
nicely, and was the downfall of
Delta Tau Delta. The Delts broke
through time after time, only to be
broken up under the opposing goal.
Keating and Becker figured strongly
in the Delta offensive, Griffin and
Burkhait; doing especially good work
for the winners.
Summary:
King f
Hill f .
Cook c
Bauman g 0
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Johnson g 1
fg ft pf
4 2 0
2 2
0 0
0
1
7 '5 9
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
fg ft pf
Morrison f 4 2 1
Sawyer f 12 1
Toms c S 1 0
Grow g 0 0 2
Bolten g 0 0 1
Morris c-g 0 10
8 6 5
Referees: Olson, Witte.
Awgwan To Be
Issued Friday
(Continued from Page 1)
Ayres, and George M. Hooper are
other features. Short joke contribu
tors who again furnish a feast for
humor fans include Douglas Tiinmer
man, Paul Marti, Jack Lowe, Fred
erick Daly, Kate Goldstein, and
others.
Art work is the most expansive of
any number yet published this year.
Eighteen cartoons are included in
Typewriters For Rent
AH standard makes special rate to stu
dents for long term. Used machines
portable typewriters monthly payments.
Nebraska Typewriter Co.
1232 O St. B-2157
Xi Psi Phi
Copple
Weith
Porter
Bush
Jacobson
Pi Kappa Alpha
rf Swanson
1 f Snyder
c Robinson
rg Michel1
1 g Nelson
Substitutions: Xi Psi Phi Teepla
for Jacobson, Anderson for Porter,
Porter for Anderson. Pi Kappa Al
pha Smith for Swanson, Austin for
Smith, Linn for Snyder.
Points Copple 4, Weith 4, Porter
2, Jacobson 2, Swanson 2, Snyder 8,
Robinson 4, Mitchell 8, Nelson 2.
Doctor Finds
Men of Today
Are Healthier
Columbus, Ohio, Jan. 1. "The
present day college student is very
definitely superior in general physi
cal appearance and muscular devel
opment to his predecessor of only
tn years ago," states Dr. J. H.
Nichols, head of the men's depart
ment of physical education at Ohio
State University. As the basis for
his judgment he refers to compara
tive statistics collected here under
his supervision in making the phy
sical examinations of 20,000 men
students in that time.
Doctor Nichols makes four observ
ations of the physical well-being of
the present male college generation.
There are fewer round shoulders,
flat chests, curved spines, and flt
foot than there were a decade ago.
"In these respects," he says "there
has been a steady improvement. On
the other hand, there has been a
slight but steady increase in defects
of vision. The proportion of ear,
nose, heart, and other organic de
fects has changed only slightly. De
fects of the teeth, however," Doctor
Nichols adds, "have increased enor
mously." For example, he cites the
fact that 85 per cent of the 2,500
men examined this year were found
to have teeth needing some kind of
attention. With respect to diseases
contracted before entering the Uni
versity, his study shows, there has
been a steady decline among those
for which antitoxins and vaccines
have been developed. This is most
noticeable, he says, in regard to diph
theria and typhoid fever.
"It is the conviction of the staff
of all the medical examiners, many
of whom have served throughout the
ten-year period," Doctor Nichols re
ports, "that the present student body
is very definitely superior in gen
eral physical appearance and muscu
lar development to the groups of ten
years ago. This improvement," he
explains, "is to some extent the re
sult of the constantly increasing in
terest in outdoor games and sports
and in health education as fostered
and developed through well organ
ized programs of health and physical
education in our elementary and sec
ondary schools. This work is begin
ning to bear some fruit in a finer
and healthier crop of boys and girls
than ever before."
Health examinations are required
of all new students entering Ohio
State University and are made dur
ing the first week of school. This
is done to ascertain whether the stu
dent is physically capable of Uni
versity study and to safeguard the
health of the University community
against communicable diseases.
Pre-season doje points to Arkan
sas to win the championship of the
Southwest conference in the basket
ball race. They have two successive
championships to give them confi
dence. Their defense is a little weak
but in the pre-season games they
showed a powerful offense.
PitrhfvT.fnMr mn of Ohio State
university have won recognition in
Who's Who, nationt.1 directory.
BECK'S
Red Hot Orchestra
Will Play on
WED., JAN. 11
FRI., JAN. 13
SAT., JAN. 14
at
LINDELL
PARTY HOUSE
Sigma Nu
McDowell
Bowers
Gains
Stuckv
rhillips
Phi Kappa Psi
rf Stephens
If Cook
c Gaskill
rg C. Martin
lg G. Martin
Substitutions: Sigma Nu Van
Dyke for Stucky. Phi Kappa Psi
none.
Points McDowell 4, Bowyers 2,
Gains 2, Stephens 6, Cook 4, Gaskill
4.
Phi Sigma Kappa Delta Tan Delta
Griffin Tf Bronson
Trively If Keating
Burkhart c Schoneman
Johnson rg Nelson
Reid lg Becker
Substitutions: Delta Tau Delta
Dox for Nelson. Phi Sigma Kappa
Turner for Burkhart.
Points Griffin 2, Trively 12,
Burkhart 4, Reid 4, Bronson 5, Keat
ing 2, Nelson 2, Becker 6.
The schedule for the Class B
games Wednesday follows:
Alpha Gamma Rho vs. Theta Xi at
8:35 main floor.
Delta Sigma Lambda vs. Phi Gam
ma Delta at 7:00 o'clock main floor.
Phi Kappa Thi vs. Phi Kappa at
7:00 o'clock on floor 1.
Sigma Alpha Epsilon vs. Delta
Chi at 7:25 o'clock on floor 1.
Sigma Phi Epsilon vs. Kappa Sig
ma at 8:35 o'clock on floor 1.
Do your
CAKING
At the
IDYL HOUR
You will appreciate the
good food and service
there.
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EBRASKA
Starting Today at 8 A. M.
The Greatest Attraction of the Year
Semi Annual Sale
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Display
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at a discount of
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$2.50 Manhattans how
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