m ti v n a T l. Y NT5RRASKAN
1 - ;,.r ; -
I wrote the best essay on the subject,! I'M THE GUY , . (Continued
EAT MAN JOUKN-ES
' ' TO SORORITY HOUSE
aenTer,- v;oio., Dec. 16. Joseph
Ijtoery, member of the eophomore class
and Beta Theta PI fraternity of Denver
UnlTersity, knows how moving picture
comedians probably feel after a stren
tons sessloa before the camera.
Wednesday night some of "Joe's'
fraternal associates dragged him out of
bed, threw his clothes on over his pa
Jamas, tucked him In a narrow dry
goods box shaped tlge a coffin and
nailed the cover om. Then they roped
the box thoroly and' called an express-
saan. I
It was after 10' o'block when the ex
pressman, perspiring freely, nocked at
the door of Templin Hall, the woman's
dormitory. Th girls procured a knife
and a claw-hammer. After consider
able difficulty they succeeded In pry-
mg me cover off the box, disclosing
the much-embarrassed "Joe."
"It's a shame," the girls giggled
And to prove it they filled Joe up
with cheese sticks, dill pickles and
eholocates before they sent him back
to hfs own quarters.
STUDENT'S ESSAY SHOWS
UP MANY FREAKS IN
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Picher, Okla., Dec. 16. An old Mory
baa It that a foreigner on a visit to
this country, being asked as to what
Ike had observed, and betng anxious
to show how well he had "picked up
our language.!' replied: "Well I saw a
bevy of wolves in the forest, a pa'axy
of fish In an aquarium arm a siioul of
txceedingly pretty girls in a park."
Be that as it may, he had "nothinj?
on- Myrtle Sillis. a 10-year old schooi
girl of this place. In school the othet
ay she made the old mistake of writ
ing on the blackboard something
about a "flock of ships," and when cor
rected, said: "Then If a flock of ships
1b a fleet, a fleet of sheep must be r.
ock."
This brought ap a discussion as to
the names of multitude, and the
teacher offered a privr to the one who
wrote the best essay on the subject,
Myrtle won the prlxe, which she rich
ly deserved, as note her essay:
Fleet of Sheep is Flock"
"A number of Bhips Is called a fleet,
a fleet of sheep is called a flock, a
flock of girls is called a bevy, a bevy
cf wolves Is called a pack, a pack of
thieves is called a gang, a gang of an
gels is called a host, a hoBt of por
poise is called a shoal, a shoal of buf
faloes is called a troop, a troop of
partridges is called a covey, a uovey
of beauties is called a galaxy, a galaxy
of ruffians 1b called a horde, a horde
of rubbish is called a heap, a heap
ol oxen is called a drove, a drove ot
blackguards Is called a mob, a mob or
herring is called a school, a school ol
worshipers is called a congregation, a
congregation of engineers is called
a corps, a corps of robbers is called a
band, a band of bees is called a
twarni, and a swarm of people Is
culled a crowd.
"Army of Sailors a Navy"
"Also, a crowd of shoppers is called
n press, a press of sightseers Is called
a throng, throng of soldiers is called
an army, an army of sailors os called
a navy, h navy of noted men and wo
men is culled an assemblage, an as
semblage of rangers is called a body
a body ol' business men is called an
nrganfzatli n, an organization of pic
ture postcards is called a collection, a
collection of money-making schemes
is called a system, system of labor
ers is called a union, a union of beads
is called a string, a string of explo
sions is called a concatenation, a con
catenation of ball games is called a
series, a series of lodge members is
culled a mess, a mess of music is
called a medley, a medley of tobacco
is railed a mixture, a mixture of
stones is called a mass, a mass of su
gitr is called a lump, a lump of vine
gar is called a quantity, a quantity
of human inhabitants is called a pop
ulace a populace of flies is called a
myriad, a myriad of water is called a
torrent, a torrent of locusts is caled a
scourge, a scourge of I. W. W.'s see
Sherman."
And Miss Sills declares that is only
a "starter," but that life is too short
u look them all up.
his auto
M THE GUY
l'h the guy who drives
us if he owned the world.
I stall on crosswalks when the
officer's sign is against me. or pay
no attention to him, drive to the
left or pas a street car that's load
ing. Often, too, when I get a' chance
I do, a little speeding and scare pe
destrians. Why Shouldn't 1?
I own the car, I like to drive my
own way.
It I Mull on a ciosswi.lk people
either can slop or go around. I'm
as busy as they and It gives n a
couple of feet start.
There shouldn't be any traffic cops
on street crossings. They only hold
us auloists up.
I can't see any reason why I
shouldn't drive to the left of a street
car. Nor go by one that'B loading.
If people get hurt getting off or on
that's their fault. The streets were
made lor autos, not walkers.
And no one has the right to say
how fast I shall drive.
Tlieic ought to be no laws or or
dinances. They only spoil a guy's
fun driving.
(Continued from Page One.)
TTTP! nONSTTTUTIONAL
CONVENTION CONSIDERS
COMPULSORY EDUCATION
shall the stale accept any grant, con
veyance, or bequest of money, lands
or property to be used for sectarian
purposes."
The committee on education took no
action cn either amendment, nor upon
No. 85 by Svoboda of Howard, a pro
posal which seeks to plr.ee Mie uni
versity of Nebraska and the normal
school under the government of n
board comprising the state superin
tendent and six members elected by
iets. Mr. Svoboda said he would
to speak on his amendment at a future
meelng Evening State Journal.
"Tin last college professor will
die of malnutrition in November,
1926' predicts Elliot Wadsworth,
Harvard professor, who declared
that "a stuffed specimen of the col
legit professorianus will then doubt
less be placed, along with the dodo,
the 5-cen( fare, and the gun rickey.
in the Smithsonian institute."
There are different stages and kinds
of malnutrition, according to Prof.
C. 1). Coed of the Romance language
department. "Anyone who has had
an education, has learned to patch up
the rough places and can content
himself with fewer physical comfoits."
While modesty prevented him from
statin? he ihouclit teachiiiK a noble
profession. Professor Cool claims
there is u fascination that hold;,, re
gardless of circumstances.
"i don't care if they pay coal
diggers a larger salary than they do
me," he Mated when asked about sal- i
arles. . "I wouldn't dig coal no mat-i
ter how much I was offered, and I
doubt if any other instructor would."
(Continued from Page One.)
TELLS ENGINEERS OF
NEW STATE CAPITOL
interest on the part of the people
of the state can the best results lrom
an undertaking of this sort be expec
ted. .
Mr. Zumwinkle spoke briefly of the
history of the capitols of the state,
and the need of a new one. The
commission appointed by Governor
McKelvie consists of W. H- Thomp
son of Grand" Islyand, W. E. Hardy
of Lincoln, and Walter Head of Oma
ha. The governor and the state en
gineer are also members of the board.
Mr. T. R. Kimball of Omaha has
been appointed advisory archilect.
The commission Is a splendid one,
and they will no doubt offer the state
-f, IfAWAVAr.
iu ht are sui auio.
the majority of the eng Ineers who
heard Mr. Zumwinkle tarn w- -opinion
that, the appropriation of $5,
000.000 made by the legislature would
have to be materially Increased if Ne
braska was to erect a state houBe
that would at all coropnre with the
capitols of Minnesota. Wisconsin and
Missouri.
Mr Zumwinkle graduated from Ne
b.aska with an A. D- degree In 1916
and received his L. L. B. "Koe in
1917.
(Continued from Page One.)
HOMEWARD BOUND STU
DENTS GREET APPROACH
ING HOLIDAYS
will benefit him. and he will retume
his studies in 1920 with a new deter
mination and a desire to cooperate
with school and faculty. Last year
the "flu" vacation in October shor
tened the vacation at Christmas to
one week, and students were com
pelled to attend classes on . New
Years day. . This year they may
tpend New Years beside their log
fire at home, and uher1920 In with
an old fashioned watch party in "their
own home town."
The entire week has been taken
up with fraternity and rtorority
Christmas trees, holiday banquets
and Yuletlde parties. Hubs, socie
ties, and other student organizations
have had the Christmas spirit im
bued In them the whole week. Most
of the fraternities and sororities held
heir Christmas trre and banquet
Thursday evening at their rw.
houses. Decorated trees m the ho '
es told of earlier day at, home. A
significant gifts with correspond,
verses "hitting at" some pecuHarit,
of the recipient 'made the evenin
very enjoyable. Many wsjUntkm'
have said that the Christmas pm
eclipsed all other social features th't
they have attempted this year. 0
programs included "stunts" or a short
vaudeville program by the freshmeu
followed by "dignified Blunts" by th9
upper clasBraen.
Everyone has the spirit of Christ,
mas and there are fewer sorrowing
homes this year than since before the
war was felt for the first time in thi(
country. The nation is happy, and the
people are rejoicing at thia Christ-mastlde.
"Kissing a girl you don't want to
is like scratching a spot that doesn't
itch."
"Bow-Wow"
Oliver was struggling through the
story in his reading lesson.
"It was not a sloop," said the cap
tain; "it was a larger vessel. By the
rig I took her to be a-a-a-a-a " Here
he stopped, for the word waa unfimll
iar in this connection.
"Hark," prompted the teacher.
Still Oliver hesitated.
"Bark!" repeated the teacher, quite
sharply-
Oliver's expression waa perplexed,
but being an obedient child be shout
ed "Uofvow!" The Thnlqe.
IlilUUIIflW-SIIHIlUiiillltRilinullIllllllllllllllt:
Red Cross Christmas Seals for Sale Here Your Xmas Packages Are Incomplete Without Them
EXCEPTIONAL HOLIDAY SAVING
in Warm Knit Wear
ESPECIALLY DESIRABLE FOR GIFT-GIVING '
Clever knit things of warmth and beauty, which make delightful and practical Christ
mas gifts, are offered during thta special showing at prices which mean HIG savings
io you, owing to our foresight in making purchases months ago, before recent market
idva ices.
Those popular Slip-over Sweaters
The witixtlinc Slipover Sweaters I lull ire so ximirt and popular
in if wnnderf ul iirriiy if new stylen and 1,,-it n Mf ill coloring niieh
iih salmon, turiiiolHi. peacock, American Homily, purple, copen
liairon. liufT. row, etc. at $10, .7.ri it ml H..-SI. I"AKTI("t'I,AUI.Y
UOOI VAl.l'KS are the clever sty an In fancy Vnlt slipovers with
lance, square collars, in tliri-e choice colors, at only
750
Clever Coat Sweaters 9.50 .Misses, Coat Sweaters 4.75
Many liritrlit. new styles in these
wnriii Sweiters for women ami misses.
Mu ii r have belts, all have lnrtre pock
ets and scores ot (hem come In novel
color conhlniitlnus. Colors include
gray, navy. Mack, Copenhagen, tur
tpinise. (minion, pencock. corn. Kelly
rm-n etc. Triced $19 down to 7.50.
A wonderful assortment of Q Cft
qiecial values nt JW
Kor misses nml children rre doiiH of
wnrin mid heuvv Onit Scalers new
models mu ii v wilh larire. iinire col
Inm. in plain and fancy knit allien In
coiHMihniMMi. piacock. red. buff, tur
quoise. Haliuou creeii. etc. l'rlciNi
$10 down to .V9.-, DXE BIG LOT
FOR HOYS and OIItLS Sweaters
with l.-rce Niiuire r roll A ?t
collars nt only t.to
Ml
1
20 OFF
On a lilu lot of alipover and but
toned Sweaters for women and
MImbim Including the new rippled
bottom styles, Home with, Rome
n It limit collars. Colors Include
I ink. huff, American beauty, pea
cock turquoise salmon, etc. All
Co at SO Per Cent UISCOfNT.
Knit Jackets
Wririu knitlcd .larkctx for
wear iM'iierth coat or for
Iiouhc wear pleating styles
in tiriiy or blink n' nnim
milly nttrac:s price:
STM.K.H llh SI.F.KVKK 4 SO
WITIIOI T M.KKVKS ... S.!M
Brush Knit and Crocheted JAMS at 1.892.95
Those smart TAM caps for women nml girls dnr.-ns of delightful style. I.runli 01
plain knitted or crocheted. In nil popular colors such iih br.. n. i;m. Cft
ireen. tiiroiiolNe. si-lmon. white, etc. l'rlced nt g.'.ft. '2.. 2..VI and
SMART SKATING SETS (PICTURED)
The illustration dhows the smart style of then.- cor.y ( up ami Scnrt
Sets for women and nirls. There are pleasing styles of warm oiy
t'loth. In red. gm-n. Copenhagen, blue. rose, etc.-cicfliilly priced ai.
the act only - - - -
1.29
HOCKEY CAPS 75c I HELMET CAPS 89c
Knit Hockey Taps fo.- '.oys and girls
hcavv knit styles in ;i:iirastlnff colors.
In grav. red. mrrooii. navy. etc. 7C
remarkably prli-ed ui "'
Those warm knit avi.iiioi
Cap for bovs nod u:r-s
maroon or gray priced
style Helmet
I liavv. blue.
89c
"Th
8 tor
That Sell
th Bast
for Just a
Littl
GOLD & CO.
1029-1033 O Street, Lincoln, Nebraska
We
Give
Valuable
S. & H.
Green
Trading
Stamps t
tlMM Ili '
vm Aia& a k m mm wm m wr m i waw w, ? j
111 ,r.rEasa
3
iinwnimwaiffls
S A. D. 1 C.
The Exceptional in Workmanship
Society Brand Clothes are for the man who consults
his pride as well as his pocketbook.
They cost a little more, but give a man the satisfac
tian of knowing that the cut, fit and finish are be
yon criticism.
nrirti Iranh (Elnta
FOR YOUNG MEN AND MEN WHO STAY YOUNG
They hold their style and shape because of the ex
ceptional care exercised in their making, from the
vest selection of the all-wool fabric to the hand
finishing of the botton holes.
Mayer Eros Co,
ELI SHIRE, Pres..
in
J
mm