UNIFORMS WILL BE
ISSUED HQS WEEK
(Continued from pae 1)
IV-
enttm dismissal of the unit by
cfiuber 21.
KverythinK I hustle nnJ bustle at
military hfaitquartern today, the work
of demobilization, belli halted tem
porarily In an flfoit to expedite the
Issuancv of winter clothing.
Lieutenant Creviston. Insjxntor of
the eighth S. A. T. l district with
headquarters at Minneapolis. Minne
sota, visited military headquarters
Friday, going directly to the Omaha
quartermaster's supply depot to make
arrangements for re-hhlpment of the
consignment of uniforms destined for
this university.
Personal Letters to Relatives
All company commanders art? send
ing a personal letter to the relatives
of each student soldier, asking that
after demobilization, especial care be
taken to safeguard tli physical stand
ards established by the Indlvidua:
while in the army. The letters also
emphasize the importance of carrying
government Insurance after discharge
and compliment tlie student sol
diers upon their conduct while in the
army.
Navy Asks For Recnvts
Chancellor Avery Is in receipt of a
pipe given y. I would have splashed
Into Wllhelni'. five-gallon mug.
Ills majesty was unravelling a yarn
about "the three Irishmen who drove
to Publln In a Ford" ever heaid It?
It went owr in a very creditable man
nerthe men were In that w ell known
condition, which allowed them th- In
voluntary privilege of laughing at
nothing In particular.
I laughed too -o hard that I Jarre.l
u chunk of asbestos from the pipe
and It splashed with a spraying effect
Into th Kaiser's stein. A chunk of
foam the size of an ordinary Ameri
can dime made Its way to one of his
majesty's eyes and lodged there. (If
you've ever had a drop of beer In one
of your eyes, you can sympathize with
Hohenzollern.)
With his sole remaining eve. the
vicAi- cri.iro.l nt Ivnn Snittoofski. a
I u i x i n m ve ------
Rooshun piano salesman, who swayed
at his elbow.
Ivan's eyelids were ' . " slowlv,
and he couldn't look the vniperoi
squarely In that eye. Because of this,
Wilhelm accused the piano salesman
of trying to ruin the sight of his ma
jesty. Whereupon Ivan picked up a
handy Frankfurter, put it on his right
shoulder and dared the clown prince's
papa to knock it off.
The Kaiser staggered to the side of
Spittoofskl. and after trying seven
times he brushed the "weeny" a'clat-
fni m 11 n Ion 1 1 nil from thA raw mobili
zation station at Omnha, stating there ! tering to the stone floor. His majesty
Is still an urgent need of skilled men j then rushed to a garbage can and rum
for the navy, the number of recruits j managed doggedly for a brief moment;
having dwindled to almost nothing j he brought forth a soiled bit of brown
;ince the signing of the armistice. The j wrapping paper, and with a piece of
..recent call for men is for entrance i soft coal, he scribbled the memorable
intn officer material schools, an excel-. declaration of war against Koosna.
lent opportunity being offered for men
of ability. Full particulars relative to
such enlistments may be had at naval
headquarters, third floor. Social Sci
ence barracks.
NEBRASKA LOSES
TO PIKER ELEVEN
(Continued from page 1)
duced one more touchdown for the
Pikers and the score, which goes down
in history', showed 20 points for Wash
ington and 7 for Nebraska.
Schellenbe'rg, the Husker left half
back, was injured in the second
quarter when he tackled Evans and
was relieved by Jobes.
In view of the fact that three mem
bers of the Piker eleven were pro
fessional players and eligible only for
S. A. T. C. teams, the Nebraska auth
orities feel justified in claiming the
Missouri valley- pennant for the 1918
season. Nebraska put a strictly elig
ible team on the field according to
Missouri valley rules and she had
decided to put in her bid for the hon
ors before the game irrespective of the
outcome.
The lineup of the game:
Nebraska Washington
Newman le Busick
Hubka It Lippert
W. Munn lg Winkleman
M. Munn c Marquard
Ross rg Kohibry
Lyman rt...: Krache
Swanson re Feuerborn
Howarth qb Simpson
Schellenberg lh Berger
Lantz rh Evans
Dobson fb Pothoff
i VOTE After vears of Incessant
endeavor and reckless experiences, I
succeeded lu acquiring that piece of
brown wrapping paper. It now hangs
on the wall of my tin-shop in Squash
Center. Nebraska.)
The paper was handed to Ivan, who
made an admirable effort at looking
at it. He muttered a few things that
ended in "itch." "ski," and "off," and
which sounded decidedly aggressive.
The emperor was shaking hands all
around. He took one more fishy look
at Ivan Spittoofskl and turned on his
heel.
MEMOIRS OF WILLIAM HOHEN
ZOLLERN, UNABRIDGED"
By His Royal Lowness' Plumber
Thus the war began!
Next day. the Berliner Tageblatt,
official jokesheet of William Hohen
zollem. and edited by Hans Beermer,
announced the Kaiser's declaration
against the be-whiskered nation on
the east. Abominable confusion en
sued, and prescient statements re
garding Roosha's chances with the
"Goose-steppers" were made by every
news medium in Berlin.
As far as extensive preparation w as
concerned, nothing remained to be
done, that having been carefully look
ed after fifty years before.
The emperor uncloseted his 157
uniforms and had them rendered im
maculate each button polished till
it would reflect a thought. The chests
in the coats had to be enlarged and
the belt-line of most of the trousers
required "letting out." His sword
was honed very carefully. He brushed
and waxed his mustache till the points
were unsafe as landing fields for
flies.
William Hohenzollern was now
ready to go up within fifty miles' of
the front and direct his armies regard
less of the terrible danger. The clown
prince insisted for his papa's sake,
that he remain seventy miles behind
the lines. To which Wilhelm replied,
"Vat!
You tink me der cowyerd?
After the titie of "Royal Plumber N'effer-I go mit in feety miles off
to the Most Hellish Household" had r rr font so dere!"
i . i t An ' So-o-o-o the kaiser motored to a
1 1 -- 1 1 riii hi it-1 1 iiihiii iiirr. a liiur iianic
to install some practical means of se
ret communication between all rooms
in the Potsdam Palace. This end was
accomplished by decapitating all rad
iators throughout the place. (The
point fif'.y miles behind the first line
in a motor car that would automat
ically reverse to a speed of ninety
miles per hour. After his first day at
this point, and after listening to the
r,tnra -a.-, r.rtA- th lanitor had : monotonous rumble of belching can
gone to Ostend on his vacation.) , over a long distance telephone, he
At the time of my entering the Kai-' directed that his headquarters be mov
er's employ, he was cruising along the '. thirty-one miles back, and that the
toast of Norwav aboard his yacht. The j distance telephone service be
clown prince was in the party, as ! discontinued. In other words 'He
were other members of the royal fam-; couldn't be bothered.
Ily. They returned late in the sum
mer and resumed residence at Pots-1
dam Palace.
The emperor celebrated the latter
event with a beer party in the furnace
room, where frau Wilhelmina wouldn't
intrude. Among those present were
several bushy-headed Rooshuns, and ;
a half dozen dukes, along with a num-'
ber of the clown prince's military es '
sociates. j
I was lying along the top of an
asbestos covered hot-air pipe imrne
diately above the laree keg, around,
which the merry p.rty was gathered.
(To be Continued)
Fenton B, Fleming
The Jewel Shop
Let U3 help select
your Xmas Gift
1211 0 Street
LINCOLN
There's Zip to it, Boys!
HERE'S the
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the camnus favorite
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never a better
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sweater. It's a
I -.v" . .A
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If your dealer doesn't sell Bradley Sweaters, America's best
Shakers, Jumbos, Jerseys, and the only genuine Navajos, write
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Delavan, Wisconsin
FOR SALE AT
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IN OLUS
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Jm.
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I was in such a pos'tion that had tn
I
