I 1
THE DAILY N EBRASKAN
- " i
,- - i
A model of the University of Illi
nois campus, fifteen feet long and
t-isht feet wide, which has been made
at the cost of $t.t00. will be sent for
exhibition at the San Francisco expo
it ion.
iliddie The sea la very treacher
ous today.
. Uiddie Yes. full of craft, isn't it?
Harvard lampoon.
"SPA"
Get your. Lunches at the
City Y. M. C. A.. Cafeteria Plan
13TH AND P
ENSIGN
For the best of service. No
waiting when you call us.
CABS, TAXIES, BAGGAGE
Ensign Omnibus S
Transfer Go.
Cut Flowers
We extend you a cordial In
vitation to call.
Unique floral arrangement
for all social occasions.
Corsage Boquets Specialty
Griswold Seed Co.
Floral Dept, 1042 O St.
WARTHON'S
Shoe Repair Factory
and Shining Parlor
1140 O Street
Headquarters for Students
University Jeweler and
Optician
C. A. TUCKER
JEWELER
S. S. SHEAN
OPTICIAN
1123 O Sl Y.lUw Froat
Your rtroaag Solicited
)PULAR WJICED rtfcNSWKAH
tin
Sox Sale
15c
light weight hose in
black, blue, tan aricl
grey, while they last
7ic Pair
Six Pairs 45 cents
XI
BEST OF APHORISMS
AMERICAN HAS GATHERED SEN'
TENCES THAT ARE ALIVE
Have Eplflrammatlc Quality Surpris
ingly High For Instance, "Never
a Great Saint That Lacked a
Sense of Humor."
The successful aphorlst Is aboul
ten thousand times scarcer than the
successful essavlst or story teller or
Assyrlologlst, remarks the New York
Sun. The man who without borrow
ing directly from the few really great
maxim makers of the world s litera
ture, or without appropriating the
letter or the spirit of those folk
proverbs which contain tho quint
essence of human wisdom, can put In
to eight hitherto uncomblned words
the entire pathology of human hypoc
risy and cant merits especial notice
and more or less gratitude of man
kind: "In the truly good all gout Is rheu
matism." We commend to the discerning
everywhere the small and perhaps not
very happily named book. "Keystones
of Thought." In which Dr. Austin
O'Malley of Pennsylvania has gath
ered from fifteen hundred to two
thousand of these "conclusions which
spare you the labor of tramping In
moist Velentment thought's syllogis
tic mazes." This small army of aphor
isms are not all so good as those
which we now proceed to exhibit as
examples: but the average of epi
grammatic quality Is surprisingly
high:
Autumn Is a hint from God to Old
Age.
A fallen lighthouse Is more dan
gerous than a reef.
We are plated with piety, not al
loyed with IL
Style Is not the setting of the dia
mond, thought: it Is the glitter itaell
of the diamond.
Atheism Is a disease of the mind
caused by eating underdone philoso
phy. It is a long snake that has no talL
If you snub conscience a few times
she will cut your acquaintance.
Memory is a crazy woman that
hoards colored rags and throws away
food.
Writers on the spiritual life are
constantly mistaking the liver for the
deviL
Possess your soul without fussing;
your guardian angel does not lose
half the sleep OTer you you think he
does.
- It is as easy to give advice to your
self as to others, and as useless.
Cunning is a short blanket; If you
pull it over your face you expose
your feet
The new is what has been forgot
ten. In holding an eel a gentle grip la
foolishness.
Distance lends amity to cousins.
The most dangerous savages live
in cities.
What is called a weak will Is com
monly a Cabby Intellect
There never was a great saint that
lacked a sense of humor.
A gentleman never heard a story
before.
Many social visits you think paid
to yourself are paid to your bottles.
Most women wear their looks like
trousers.
A college can bluff like any poker
player.
Humor without effort, wit -without
bitterness, philosophy without preten
sion; Doctor C'Malley has printed a
book that is worth possessing.
Confusing.
"I should like to look at some As
trakhan." said the lady in the depart
ment store.
"Are you looking for fur or caviare,
madam?" asked the polite floorwalker.
Then and Now.
"You must not be so quarrelsome,
Willie." said William's father, impres
sively. "Remember that 'the meek
shall inherit the earth. " "Maybe they
will hereafter." responded the young
militant, "but around at my school
they are used to wipe up the earth."
Richmond Times-Dispatch.
TRULY HOUSE. OF MEMORIES
Jncle Ab Dusenberry Was Able to
Provide Particulars Concerning
Ancient Abode.
"What a dear, dear old house!" said
Miss Amarlntha Gushlnstou to Uncle
Ab Dusenberry when he was taking
her for a drive during the first week
she was one of his "summer people."
and they had stopped before an an
cient awl deserted house.
"Tiese dear old houses!" said Miss.
Amarlntha. "1 love to people them
with the people and the things of
the past! So much of romance, of
human weal and woe. of song and
story, are woven into the woof and
warp of their history. This looks to
me like a veritable house of dreams,
an abode of which there are tales to
tell, a bit of romance embodied in
wood and stone, a veritable house of
memories. Tell me some of the ro
mance of this house, won t you. dear
Mr. Dusenberry?"
"Wal." said Uncle Ab. "I reckon
mebbe I kin. I've heern many a time
how when old Bill Skinner lived there
one o" his gals, Elvlry Jane I think It
was. tuk it into her head to elope
with Buck Pillsbury, an" a round o
the ladder broke an kerplunk they
went into a bar'I o' rainwater Jlst as
Bill's old bulldog come onto the scena.
an Bill hlsself come lopin' out of a
lower window with his shotgun, an'
his wife who was a cross 'atween a
rattlesnake and a hyenar once she
got her mad up. arrlv with a long
iron poker in one hand and a boss
whip in the other, an' when they got
done with Buck he had to go home on
hfs hands an knees part o' the way,
an' Elviry Jane run oft with a map
peddler the next week. Her mother
was married five times, an three of
'em was livln at one time, same as
If she belonged to Newport's best sas-
siety. Her father was married rour
times, an her brother Jep 'loped with
his stenmother's sister from this
house, an" a couple o' years later she
'loped with his brother an' he mar
ried her sister, standln' right at the
front gate, with the preacher standln'
In the road. Bill s mother mamea
a farm hand in this house when she
was sixty-five years old and the farm
hand waa twenty-nine. So, take It by
an' Isree. there's reelv been consider
able romance mixed up with the old.
Skinner place, an, as you say. Its a
kind of a house o mem rtes. ruct
Queen Elizabeth.
She Elizabeth was a hard mis
tress to serve. Irresolute and yet ob
stinate, she frequently refused to act
or decide, procrastinated, delayed.
hesitated, while her ministers waicnea
disaster approach or opportunity van
ish. Even her most influential advis
er found it impossible to overcome
th inveterate trait of Indecision.
Their correspondence shows them
driven almost to despair in times 01
exigency at the queen's vacillation and
unreasonableness. An Indorsement
by a clerk on a letter of 1G0O still ex
ists in faded handwriting to testify to
this habit "A letter which her majes
ty willed me to write to her secretary,
and to send it by post, but before I
had fully ended the letter she sent me
to bring it to her before It was closed,
which I did UDon the point of six
o'clock, and then her majesty having
read and scanned It three or four
times and sometimes willing me to
send it away, and sometimes altering
that purpose, commanded me at last
to stay both the letter and the post."
E. P. Cheyney.
Prayer for the Day.
Forgive us If this day we have done
or said anything to increase the pain
of the world. Pardon the unkind
word, the impatient gesture, the hard
and selfish deed, the failure to show
sympathy and kindly help where we
had the opportunity, but missed it;
and enable us so to live that we may
dally do something to lessen the tide
of human sorrow, and add to the sum
of human happiness. F. B. Meyer.
There Are Others.
"I think Professor Hibrow is a won
lerful lecturer," said the Old Fogy.
'He brings things home to you that
you never saw before." "That's noth
ing." replied the Grouch. "I have a
laundry wagon driver who can do
that." Cincinnati Enquirer.
GLOBE LAUNDRY
Is Asking for a Share of the
Student Trade.
Special Rates for Fraternities and Clubs
WRESIWE MATCH
COLLEGE BOOK STORE
FACING THE CAMPUS.
They have won two straight falls already, but referee says
thev must get the third also. So they have a dandy stock to
make a hit with the students when vthey go there to buy
their graduation presents.
TOE
University ScMtf Efeic
Established 1C34
Opposite tis University Campus Elaveath ad R
btstraetfoa gives la til branches of nasie. Students ntj
earcfl at any time. Eejiaaera accepted. Prices reasonable
WILLARD KIMBALL, Director
CO-OP BOOK STORE
A. H. PEDEN
L-4610 318 No. 11th
WE DESIRE
Your Business, Your Good Will, Your Confidence, Your
Hearty Co-operation.
WE PLEDGE YOU
Satisfaction, Convenience, Courtesy and Attention at
Your Service.
University Y.M.C.A. Cafeteria
IN THE TEMPLE
FQK UNIVERSITY FOLKS ONLY
Quality Economy Convenience
ileal Hours. T.-C0-S 9 11:00-1:30 5.S0-7.CX
Ho7 Can Yoa
Make your dance programs differ
ent? See Graves, he will do it for you.
Graves
Printery
THE
Won By
Specializing tnVniveisiiy Minting
B-2057 244 N 11th
'h
n
