JUDGMENT TIME FOR "CROWNED CRIMINALS." The poor enslaved masses of Europe dare not speak, so let us speak for them. Thbse whose -wretched bodies are today food for cannon are dumb, 'but the crimson streams that flow from their lacerated flesh shall run crying "Mercy!" to all the children of men. Those wounds, poor, poor, dumb mouths, now ope their ruby lips to beg the voice and utterance of the tongues of men, and this speaking calls for the demolition of every rotten throne and vengeance upon the crowned hellions who use men as pawns and nine-pins. :Let us not forget that we, too, have stalking about our land a "robustious, perriwig fellow," whose blatant tongue cries for increased armament upon American shores and armed vessels to sail the seas. !Let us blush that we have two mem bers of the cabinet of a peace-loving THE FIRST UNL BUILDING, BUILT 1871. President base enough to ask that our army and navy shall be increased ia efficiency and power until their strength shall awe the world. At this moment, however, the advo cates of this infamous doctrine are silent. With Europe's streams running red with blood; with her industries languishing; with already weeping orphans and widows in despair; with the achievements of a half century of peace scattered to the winds and civili zation set back a thousand years sorely that doctrine reeking with the bloody filth from deep, dark pits of shame, has received its death-blow. ITor let us not forget that all these nations have pursued that savage policy. For decades these nations, under the lead of the "war lord" of Germany, have been preparing for peace by increasing and perfecting the Implements of war. Let us remember the infamous lie and fully know that to increase armaments and amass mu nitions of war is the greatest Incite ment to war. That is the inevitable effect of the policy of the war gods. Oh, shame! Oh, infamy unspeak able! Outrage infinite! Is not this treachery of crowned heads of no concern to us? Does it dT D8l'i Git EM 3 Corner 14th . O Streets, Gas and Electric Building. not menace our peace, our health and iour prosperity? Do we not pay for it, as well as must the enslaved masses of Europe who for a hundred years to come shall groan under the heavy load? The answer is already seen in the Increased cost of our living that was already distressing. It is seed in the iiiination of our import trade a ca lamity (to all but the protective tariff advocate, who is not supposed to see Very much of anything that requires thought). But worse than these, it Is seen in the black cloud that en shrouds the mind of the world. Yet, let us not despair. It was Emerson who said, "Every thought thrown into the world will modify the Svorld." So let the democratic spirit of the world center its iwwer of thought upon the idea that when another decade shall have passed into history 'every detested crowned head of Europe shall have disappeared. I would not speak as Cromwell did of Charles I, "We shall take off his crown and with the crown his head, but rather in that more civilized speech of the aged Con veutionist in Les Miserables, "I would vote the death of the king, but not the man." Yes, I belive this horrible world catastrophe will awake a world-democracy that shall overthrow every crowned head, and over' the portals of the federation of nations shall in scribe the rights of man. If this hor ror cannot arouse the Spirit of De mocracy to such achievement, what in the name of righteous heaven can do it? However, if such be not accom plished, the world will, at least, as a lesson learned from this dark day. agree upon universal disarmament. Therefore let not America indulge in the dangerous folly of increasing hers. Laurie J. Quinby, in The Public. Vanted Men. Several good college men to work for us this fall. Apply at Ludwigs, 1028 O street. 1-3 Scott's Orchestra. Call B-1482. Lf st YiNr B,,k$! Perhaps there are some other things you ought to see and do while at the University. It may be that one of the best things you could dc would be to take a special course in Shorthand, Typewrit ing, Bookkeeping, Banking, Higher Accounting, or Penmanship, with us. We have been of great assistance to other University students why not YOU? Students of the Commerce Course will find our courses of great benefit to them. Special hours can be arranged. Call and talk it over. JOKERS HAD THEIR INNINlibli I Telephone Prank that Left EaflUh. Office Man Decidedly Not In the Beet of Humor. Before the eyes of a leading Londot stock broker there appeared for i few brief moments visions of for tune, fame and honor. He waa Bit ting in his office when the telephone bell rang. "Hello," he answered. "Oh, that is Mr. Blank, is it not! Why do you smoke your cigars through a holder?" In some astonishment the broke) put his cigar down. "No, no, do not put It down, and if you do, find an ash tray for It" This was so uncanny be Bhlftct his chair slightly from the instru ment "Do not move away," continued the voice, "and do not tug so impatiently at your mustache." Down went his hand. "Who on earth are you?" shouted the broker, "and how do you know what I am doing with my cigar and hand? You talk as if you could see me." An amazing reply came: "I can see you. There you are; twitching your tie straight As t matter of fact, I have invented an in strument which enables you to see over a telephone wire, and I am talk ing to you because I cannot finance the idea myself and want you to float it on half shares." The possibilities of the scheme were immense The broker, for an instant, saw himself dealing in vast orders for government departments. He saw big orders for foreign rights. It was one of the miracles of mod ern science. The capitalist would make a fortune, and then he glanced out of the window across the str&et Beaming down at him from a win dow, overlooking his office, was s row of grinning taaes, among which he recognized two or three fellow members of the hoase. Hastily he slammed down the re ceiver. The rosy visions faded away, and sadly he drew Back out of sight Around the Old Drum Stove. "Ever Bee any big snowstorm when you was young. Uncle Cy? said the wit behind the counter. "Sure, 1 did," cackled tks old man T seen some whoppers. I remember one where th' snow wuz six feet above my head. Yesslr." "Ob, nonsense, Uncle Cy. That's impossible. There never was such a snow." "It's true, I tell ye." "It couldn't have been." "Yes, 'twas. Six feet above my head. I guess I ought to know. I wuz down cellar at th' timet" Divorce Made Easy. Two Mohammedan natives quar reled, and In great heat one cursed the religion of the other. To court they went and the Judge in an ec clesiastical court, it seems, declared that since the man had cursed his own religion, he must be considered to have voluntarily renounced Islam. Therefore, as the law does not allow a marriage between a Mohammedan woman and a man who is not of that faith, the Jud&e ordered the man sepa rated rem his wife! This is commend ed to our divorce lawyers in the Unit ed States! IJving Church. Switched the Beverage. Two old Scotch fishermen, having Imbibed overmuch, were on their way home, and overcome with a great de sire to sleep, accordingly they stretched themselves on the warm beach sands and were soon slumbering heavily. The tide crept in, awakening the one nearest the water as a wavelet dashed a quantity of the salty llqrJd into his mouth. Half asleep, he started to arise, saying: "It's time we wis awa' oot i this boose. They're changin' the drink on us." Wanted to Know His Fate. Of the criminal court, London, the acoustic properties are not so perfect as they might be, and there is a decid ed echo from the walk. Some time ago Judge Reatool sentenced a pris oner to six months' hard labor. Wkea the judgment waa passod "Six souths' .hard labor" waa echoed froa the hack of the court - -'-v BU Souls' Chutcb A FREE RELIGIOUS SOCIETY 12th and H Sts. ARTHUR L. WEATHERLYr Minister. Morning Senrice at 10:45 The STUDENTS' LIBERAL RELIGIOUS UNION meets every Sunday from 12 to 12:45 for the free dis cussion of religious problems. A university opens wide its doors to all seekers after the truth. It binds its members by no formula of be lief. Its face is not toward the past, but toward the future. It holds in honor those who discover new truth. It reverences the attainments of the past, but uses them to secure progress in the present. ALL SOULS' CHURCH seeks ta realize this university ideal in the field of religion. Opening Service of the Year September 20th Subject, "The Fundamentals of the Religion of De mocracy a sermon for youth. YOU ARE INVITED! LET US All of the worries of We do all sorts of dyeing match, We have expert tailors and sewing womenf or alterations and repairs JT Cleaning' and Pressing, of Coarse, at HIGBY'S 1322 If Street City calls and deliveries free. i College Inn Cafeteria 1132 Q First-Glass REALS at Qir MJ PRICES OPEN TO ALL STUDENTS SOLVE your wardrobe this year Hose, slippers, plumes, etc., to sample. Lincoln B-6633 Shipping charges paid one way STREET