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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 1903)
"?"'".. w-s"5r"'r '?" J."" "if j. -jt- ' '''9 TiT'"!"" " -"3! "Jf-l!ISK!K "Vj - ( I ZT be Bails Webrasfean ' V" v f f h I. . I- : IRemtniscences oi tb 16 1b(gb School Some Incidents of Former Times That Are Familiar to Us All. Thoy come to us all every once In a while Hioho memories of by-gone duyB when wo banked In the Intellec tual atmoHphero of that frowsy old high school. It comes an a relief In the midst of tho sufferings attendant upon tho absorption of higher educa tion, to look back upon the scones that memory recalls. How one loves to dwell upon each one as they pass In review upon tho canvas that memory unfolds! Don't you romomber tho day when you had severed your connections once for all with the grades and marched through the portals of the high school, where so many fond recollections are clustered. Don't remember how vague ly you regarded the mixture of faces about you, and how In time you came to know each one of your fellow class men? Don't you remember the pretty girl who sat across the aisle tho man ner and means of procedure with which you started to make her acquaintance? Don't you remember how splendidly you were getting along, when that paper wad took you behind the ear and turned your bliss to misery? Don't you remember how you laid for that fellow that night after school and thumped him till he hollered "Nuff." Hut after awhllo everything began to run smoothly, and you learned that "(iaul as a wholo Is divided Into three parts " And about that time the lit erary society started. Tho professor and his two assistants generally acted as judges, while you all had to take your turn at arguing before tho year was over. And there were some mighty momentous questions discussed in those days. For Instance, tho re spectho merits of the horse and the bicycle, were brought out and expati ated upon in ttheir very best lights. And there was one point that always mitigated against the horse in the minds of the boys in the class at least, namely, that one doesn't have to cany water to a bicycle. Now, the horse and the cow are too pretty good aninials and they both have many line points, but us to which l the best was a question sometimes discussed. Once upon a time one able exponent of the horse's good points was striving to draw some conclusions by rompari&on. "Suppose," he said, "l'hll Sheridan had come dashing into Winchester riding a cow. Wouldn't that have been noblo and poetic? Wouldn't that havo been grand and elegant? What a magnificent specta cle It would have been to see him come dashing up on a cow all covered with foam, with fire In her eye and chafing at her bit, while scarcely restraining her fiery spirits, she paws the ground, anxious to kick up her heels and sail Into the rebels." And then, too, how logically he met his opponent's cinch ing arguments wherein the latter de manded to know what would we do for milk if it wasn't for tho cow, by Btat ing that we coulA use condensed milk And when convinced of the fallacy of this statement he retrenched and said, "Use goats." And then his opponent got in his work by making his as tounding proposition: "Suppose a man had a son seventeen feet high and Bent him out to milk a goat, how would he do It?" That was a clincher. It was evident that a person seventeen feet high would havo some difficulty in milking a goat. Well that was the general style of discussion and although a thousand examples might bo quoted tho attempt would bo useless. What characters do these recollec tlohs call to mind! Tho youth who worshlppodat tho shrine of Sophor and dozed blissfully during tho class period. J low calmly surprised ho was when ho woke to the realization of his position and struggled strenuously to reeall hie scattered faculties and answer the question propounded to him. What a first-class fizzle ho made of tho at tompt, and, how witless ho looked when the class laughed. And don't you re member the day when he tumbled out of his seat the horrible clatter of his feet as they ponderously struck the floor with a crash and a bang that made tho windows rattle? How the girl In the seat in front of him yelled, "Murder!" and tipped over the coal scuttle In her break for the door? Don't you remember that old degen erate, whom tho citizens in their ig norance elevated, not to the position of high and mighty ruler of the uni verse, but to the board of education? How ho used to nosey In and disturb tho class recitation? With what an air of Intellectuality did tho old lgnora moiiB fasten his grip upon that CaeBar which the teacher proJTered him. How wise he looked, as he adjusted his spectacles and glared at the unmeaning stuff, and how hypocritically knowing he looked. Can't you see him sitting there now with that old Prince Albert coat and those high-water pants? Can't you see him now, as he rises to Inflict his Insane remarks upon the awe stricken class? How he told of the lit tle boy who achieved such terrible tri umphsboth intellectual and material and bow he rounded up tho full in tent and purpose of his perverted lo quacity, by springing that ill-fated, malicious old saw, "Children, that little boy now stands before you." With what a measure of satisfaction did the "little boy" fold his hands and stare contentedly at you like a cow at a bucket of bran. How degenerate you felt, when you reflected on the error of your ways and resolved to pattern your future courso after tho perfect model cited to you. Well, there were lots of other things, too. Don't you remember the girl who played the organ for the school to sing and how she struggled through the harder parts In solitary grandeur? Tho boy who put the bunch of cigarette papers In the professor's Bible and for got to take them out; and how he paid tho penalty? How you all sat awe struck at the rythmatlc whacks of the strap out In the hall were wafted to your ears? Tho girl who had high ideals and a lofty purpose to lead her In her course through life? The boy that sent the principal a funny valentine and was given an opportunity to explain his kind remembrance before the school board. And me fat boy who tumbled down stairs and cried for ...s mother Of course you remember these things. and many moie besides. After awhile you grew older and more versed in the ways of th world. The luerary society was still In existence, and exciting de bates often occuned. There was, of (ourse, a bright boy, who had numer ous ways of meeting any kind of an argument that could be advanced. The question, "Rcsolveu, That a pig Is bet ter than a dog," came up. His oppo nent, tho leader on tho affirmative, un dertook to show the commercial value of the pig, while our attachment to the dog was only a matter of sentiment. Our hero proceeded to smash this ar gument by a course of reasoning run ning something llko this; "A pig is a noble and affectionate animal. When one comes home at night it comes bounding down the hill to meet you and fawns at your feet. When you are I n -borrow it lovingly licks your hand in sympathy. It stays about the house and would defend you'or your property with its life. So always remember when you are feeling blue and when everyone seems turned against you that the pig will bo faithful to tho last." There aro hundreds of things that happened. The school bell certainly suffered Its sha.of tribulation. Some times It was its clapper that would be purloined through the machinations of malicious youths. And sometimes its tones sounded through the night to warn the authorities that It was belngl i unlawfully Imposed upon and appeal ing to them to bring speedy relief. There were snow-ball fights, too. And of course, the principal got hit In the sldo of the head while amorously con versing with ono of tho handsomest of tho grade teachers. No doubt it was acidental, but for all that the big black strap that hung on the nail In his office was called upon to render Invaluable services. In tho natural courso of events one of tho girls ventured In and stopped the force of a swiftly flying mass of compact snow with her ear, which caused her to shed tears of un speakable sorrow and grief as she fled for the fastness of the school house to wall plteously in long drawn out tones. She just knew tho.Jjoy who throw tho ball, and as a consequence there was more grief than pleasure for him In tho interview In the principal's office that afternoon. And that spoiled the game for the rest of the winter. In those days tnere was no grand, no ble, lntanglblo college spirit to buoy you up, so that you might oxert your self to a superhuman degree In labor ing for the good of your Institution, yet sometimes you were possessed of an Indescribable feeling that urged you to proclaim your distinction as a member of the high school. It was this feeling that persuaded you to Join in the party that took the professor's cow and Bhut her up in the empty store-building, where she passed the night in great disquiet and unrest. How plaintively she made known to the outside world that she was a prisoner, protesting In deep chested tones against tho Inhu manity of man. How angry was the professor when he discovered the ab sence of his faithful cow, and with what ill-grace -did he lead her forth from her captivity back to her domi cile At least they started back togeth er .but the cow was in great haste, and soon the professor found himself propelled at full speed through the main Btreet, hanging onto that rope as If it was a bond uniting him to his dearest friend, whom he was In great fear of losing. They traversed the Btreet together, tho professor going along with undignified springs and hops, and sometimes mounting high in to the air, as a result of a sudden ac celeration of speed. Of course, the whole town turned out to look. But finally ho fell humbled to the dust, and the cow sped homeward unchecked In her flight. What was it he said, as he picked himself up? Well, perhaps, you don't remember, but he must have said something. But you know what he did when he got home. The whack, whack, whack that emanated from the cow shed to the ears of the neighbors was a certain Indication that he was engrossed in tho act of administering justice to IiIh wayward cow, and there's no telling what the poor beast may have suffered. Don't you remember the little dia logue he enacted In school one day when he was in an ultra-facetious mood? Tho assistant principal dropped her handkerchief, and he essayed to pick it up. "Now," he said to the class, "I want to show you how to pick up a lady's handkerchief. Never bend over so that the blood rushes into the face she will think that you are con- oi fused. (Jet down on one knee like this, with your head held up, and pick It up like this." Then he picked it up, and dangling it daintily between his thumb and forefinger ho proffered it to the teacher, who stood looking silly and confused, and, blushing deeply. But, O, merciful heavens! While he was In the very act, while in this poBture, his wife stalked in. She stood thore for a moment, eyeing him coldly, as If cut to the heart by his unfaithfulness. And then, noting the Impressive silence that reigned, ho turned and saw her. Did you ever see anyone that looked sheep ish? Did you ever seo a professedly pious person caught In a mean act? If you have, wasn't -here a close analogy of expression. A person wonders how he went about to explain It all. It must have been a very difficult task. Don't you remember the.' big victory that the football team won .and the big blowout you all had after It? How you tore up the "Old Dutchman's" side walks to feed your bonfire, and how mad ho was about it? What a good time you all had when ho came out to protest, in hooting him? How you shat tered tho stillness of the night until Bud Tyler, tho town marshal, came down and made you suspend opera tions? There are a thousand things that one can remember, each one of which will bring up some fond association, making each of us feel that we would like to do it all over again. One of these was the occasion when two of the boys made a wager with tho professor that he couldn't burst a keg by watqr pres sure. He went down town and got the keg and the piping himself in his anxi ety to prove his point. And after he got all his apparatus ready, the rods being screwed together and rising from the keg to tho lovol of tho top of the school house, like a pipe stem attached to the bowl of a plpo, ono of tho boya had to spoil matters. Ho shoved a corn-stalk down In the rod, well out of sight. 'The professor poured In wa ter until he supposed tho pipe was full, but the barrel held out nobly. How hard he worked. And how at length he had to admit In a shame-faced manner that the experiment was a failure. But when In the natural courso of evonta he found out the deception, It Is hardly likely that he felt pleased. How pleasant It would be to review theso little Incidents one by one, but the tlmo Is lacking. Only one more event can be recalled, and that was an Important one, marking as It did a milestone In your life. Don't you remember the uncertainty and doubt attendant upon graduation? How you sat In a state of nervous prostration awaiting your turn to orate? How horribly still it seemed and how terrifying your voice sounded? How the baby in the audience squalled? How you finally gained confidence and disclaimed in strident tones the most momentous "and newly found truths? How dizzy you were when the forced acclamation of tho audience greeted you and you plunked down In yout chair, feeling as if a weight of tons had been shifted from your shoulders? Don't you remember well, we'll tako it for granted that you do, and let you recall the rest for yourself. 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