--
NOT MUCH OF AN EATER
Took So snia llttlr n
iillnf llhn
iipiiiln It w Morgan fvcry Inch a
Welshman himself likes to tell tills
moij whni iinli Is another Welslinuui
hi lii arluc lie wont homo to dinner
fin- ilay foiunl a paper hunger t
lli In the Iuiiisk lli iiuIki tlu limn
I Capialn Morpm told him It was
lllllll
I txuess Ill knock oil and no home
t dinner then the paper lumber re-
lllill I Ml
ti and eat with us the captain
nd and the Invitation was accepted
Iitpiain Morgan was attentive to hl
UiM dnrliiK the meal Ho had a
lilirioiis appetite The captain help
I lii in to roast lieef several times un
til at Inst he had some curiosity to sco
Jim imw much the fellow would eat
without crvlnj enough The miniu wan
Jtriwiiit pite Interestliif when tho fel
low hejran to show sliis of quitting
Will you have some of tho plum
IHiiltliiiKV the captain asked him to re
vive his falling appetite
No tlauks he replied Ive had
oikmiuIi 1 think
ii take a small piece of the pud
illtit the captain uracil Its jjumi
iuc ICtinllsh plum pudding and home
made at that
Well 1 ilonK mind tryini It he
Haiti
The captain helped lilm to a section
of the putldliif wolnhlnj ahout a
pound and lie ate it with much relish
Then he shoved his chair away from
the taliie and leaned hack for an after
dinner chat
Im not much of an cat or he said
not unUiuf tho smilo on the captains
face It takes very llttlo to satisfy
me Say you ought to see the Welsh
eat
Are they hearty enters asked the
captain
Hearty eaters repeated tho fel
low Say they eat like a lot of bogs
Iittshurg News
i of
i
IT WAS GENUINE
Thr SlKnnttire of Wllllnm Slinkca
jicnre That Ail ml nil luec Mini
At the time of the New Orleans ex
position In the winter of 1881 5 Ad
miral liticu was In command of the
north Atlantic squadron and was sent
down there to add to the gayety of
nations which no other old suadog
could do hotter than he Tpon his re
turn the Hagship was anchored in New
York hay where it was visited by
many people One day a party eanio
aboard which included among others
a very pretty girl nnd a very dignified
and learned Knglishman As Admiral
Luce was entertaining them In his
cabin lie asked the pretty girl if she
would like to see an original autograph
William Shakespeare
At hia the dignified and learned
VjijIishnian pricked up his ears and
rpinaked that lie had made a study of
the autographs of Shakespeare and
was positive there was no authentic
example in America Admiral Luce re
plied that he was very positive his was
authentic and that its genuineness had
never boon questioned Tills made the
ISritisher quite mad and he delivered
a lecture on the fraudulent autographs
and manuscripts that were brought
over to America and exhibited as orig
inals
Well replied the admiral 1 am
convinced that my autograph of Wil
liam Shakespeare is genuine and I
am going to have the plensure of show
ing It to this young lady Whereup
on lie went to his desk took out his
visitors book turned back a few pages
and then pointed out the signature
Willinni Shakespeare mayor of New
Orleans Jan L2 188T The English
man gave a painful gasp and retired
Chicago Itccord
The Clever nomntm
It seems quite surprising that the an
cient Itomnus did not acquire the art of
printing with movable types Inasmuch
ns they came so very near to It They
had wooden blocks carved with words
In reverse by means of which they
stamped those words on pottery while
tlie latter was as yet unbaked and soft
Incidentally it may be mentioned that
they knew the modern method of
mending broken pots by means of rlv
Xts and many pieces of pottery thus
icHtored have been dug up
In ancieut Home there was one dally
newspaper which was written entirely
lk luittil IJii tt lwittintrt tlii Titmnti uttt
Kt IF 1III14U HI UWI4UUii WJV fcU I I II otir
a
V1
ate had a publication which corre
sponds to The Congressional Itccord
being a report of the dally proceedings
of that Important legislative body It
likewise was written by hnnd Speak
ing of linked clay one might mention
the fact that the little boys of Koine
2000 years and more ago were accus
tomed to play knuckle down with mar
bles of that material just as children
ilo now
Coatm Milk
Modern Medicine says that gonts
milk contrury to the general impres
sions differs from cows milk not in
being more digestible but in being
less digestible and less nutritious al
though it contains a larger amount of
solid matter than cows milk It Is
indeed the most indigestible of all
tnllk
Coats milk has a peculiar ami un
pleasant odor and flavor due to hlrcic
acid or bliclne It contains an excess
of fat a ud Is therefore altogether too
rich for an Infants diet
An Austin colored waiter told a Bos
ton mnn at a hotel that in eastern
Texas a white man had married a ne
gro woman
Was he not derided asked the
Hostonian In the classic speech of the
11K f nlnri
x V V
lie WI181 SHU ueuiiieii iiofiin
Dey rlded him out ob towu on a rail
Household Words
Onk UniiuUa lllililcn tlnilrr Ilny
Curious but dangerous freaks of na
ture frequently found In the deserts of
Arizona are called sunilderos by the
Mexicans and Indians They are mask
ed pitfalls of quicksand that decur In
the dry plains and are covered with a
treacherous crust of clay that has been
f picad over them in line particles by
the wind and baked dry by the sun
The peculiar properties of the soil
retain all the moisture drained Into
them after the Infrequent rains and al
low It to lie tlltered to unknown depths
so that a man or a horse or u cow or a
sheep that once steps upon that de
ceptive crust linitantly sinks out of
sight beyond hope of rescue The
suuiideros are on a level with the sur
face of the desert There Is no dan
ger signal to mark them and their
surface cannot be distinguished by the
ordinary eye from the hard clay that
surrounds them They occur most fre
quently In the alkali covered flats and
are often lii or -0 feet In diameter
Sometimes they are only little pockets
or wells that a man can leap across
but the longest pole has never found
their bottom A stone thrown through
the crust sinks to unknown depths
and no man who ever fell Into one of
them was rescued They account for
the mysterious disappearance of ninny
men and cattle Chicago Itccord
1inir rurlNlili Similii j a
The four Sundays of November are
observed as fete days in Holland They
nre known by the curious mimes Ke
vlew Decision Purchase and Posses
sion and all refer to matrimonial af
fairs November in Holland being tho
month par excellence devoted to court
ship and marriage probably because
tho agricultural occupations of the
year are over and possibly because tho
lords of creation from quite remote
antiquity have recognized the pleas
antness of having wives to cook ami
cater for them during the long winter
On Kevlew Sunday everybody goes
to church nnd after service there Is a
church parade in every village when
tho youths and maidens gaze upon each
other but forbear to speak
On Decision Sunday each bachelor
who Is seeking n wife approaches the
maiden of his choice with a ceremoni
ous bow and from her manner of re
sponding judges whether his advances
are acceptable Purchase Sunday the
consent of the parents Is sought if the
suit lins prospered during the week
Not until Possession Sunday howev
er do the twain nppear before the
world as actual or prospective brides
and grooms Denver News
KiikIInIi Secret Service Money
The term secret service money Is
usually applied to n fund placed at the
disposal of ministers to be expended
at their discretion in promoting or pro
tecting the interests of this country
These moneys consist of n sum of 15
000 annually Included In the estimates
in respect of which ministers are only
required to make a declaration that
the moneys spent have been expended
Ip accordance with the Intentions of
parliament
As ministers nre required to give no
account of their stewardship It is ob
vious we have no means of knowing
how these moneys are expended The
reader however who carries his mind
back to episodes within his knowledge
such ns the collapse of the Fenian con
spirators or of their Inter develop
ment the Irish Invlncibles will have
llttlo dlmculty in realizing how Indis
pensable a fund of this kind is to tho
protection of a state nnd of under
standing the Infinite variety of uses to
which it may be applied Chambers
Journal
SllHlitlna the Walter
It was at a railway refreshment
room The passenger was hungry aud
In a hurry
Please puss me them pertaters mis
ter he said addressing an elegant
gentleman who sat next him
The luttcr slowly focused his gold
eyeglasses on the speaker Did you
think that I was one of the waiters
he asked Icily
The others held their knives and
forks suspended In midair expecting
to see the man shrivel up but no such
phenomenon took place lie turned
and beckoned to the nearest waiter
George come here please
What is it sir asked George
I wanted to npologlze to you that
Is all You see I mistook this party
here for you but I hope you wont bo
offended at It Now pass me them
pertaters and well go on with the
rest of the meal London Tlt Hlts
A QncMtlnn of Decree
Judge A Well Uncle Zoh where
are you going
The Kenedlct I wuz jls going to do
cote sub to see you sub nnd get n
remorse from dat yeller limb dat 1
married the ynrder day
Judge A Why see here Hint wont
do Didnt you promise me Hint you
would tnke her for better or worse and
all that
The Benedict Yas sub but den she
mn n night wuss dnn I took her fur
Harpers Bazar
Snved
Nodd Blinker had a hard time the
other day His head clerk Is in the
habit of glvug him checks to sign nnd
Blinker who has every confidence in
him nlwnys does o without question
This day his wife tilled out one and
the clerk took It In Blinker signed it
Todd Kuln him
Nodd No It was for such a large
amount the bank wouldnt cash It
Detroit Free Press
In I nek
You think you know all about wo
men dont you asked the newly mar
ried boarder
No replied the savage bachelor
and I am njlgbty glad I douV In
dlauupolls Journal
THE NORFOLK NEWS THURSDAY OOTOHKK 12 1810
WHEN LIGHTS ARE LOW
rooms ro hiialiril llir IIrIiU tr low
t nit nnil llstrn In t lie ultul
Tlmt mmr a from nut the illntmit Mil
It mints nml rrnoiis in an tiiiilertmia
alien ritrlons Mist nlnl limo
Of 1inni lost In n liiml unltiitrnn
Tlirn Meal rij mul nil In Mill
TIs buimI to listen to tln wind
When rooms mu IiiihIhiI ami Unhls hte low
When those we love hne romp ami tone
Via weary to e left behind--To
nils jiwimI rjirt wheie late they shone
To look lor what we limy tint llnd
10HK cherished tonus that haunt the mind
Sott lolrrs that wete imti loo Mliilj
To Hie and miss them one liy one
Is weary work Whod lny hehlnd
When those we loin hiU ronie nnd irnnef
- New Yolk Times
A TRAGEDY IN A PICTURE
Ill Simp Shut if ii Drink Tim K1I11
Til o Men
The most remarkable snap shot pic
ture In the world Is owned by a friend
of mine In a town In Georgia said an
enthusiastic amateur photographer
Its story in extremely curious It
seems that he went one day to a black
smith shop to get a shot at the men at
the forge The smith was engagedton
a difllcult piece of Ironwork and had
two helpers lust behind them on a
shelf was a pint llask full of yellowish
while liquor evidently the corn whis
ky for which the native Georgian has
a peculiar lilting
As my friend was preparing to take
his picture one of the helpers caught
sight of the bottle and communicated
his discovery by dumb show to his
companion The smiths back was
turned at the moment and the first
man reached stealthily for lie prize
while my friend unnoticed In the coi
ner quickly alined his camera It was
u comical scene aud In his mind he
had already named the photo The
Stolen Drink
The helper uncorked the llask and
took a swift gulp and Ills comrade
snatched it nnd did likewise Then for
a brief breathless Instant they looked
at each other and as they did so their
foolish grin gave way to such a stare
of questioning horror as I never saw
before upon a human face I know
because It was then that the eninori
clicked nnd the picture is as clear as
crystal The llask contained carbolic
ncid Within tin hour both men weie
dead
When my friend took one print lie
broke the negative so as to make the
photograph absolutely unique It
shows the forward end of the shop
In the foreground Is tho anvil with
the smith bending over his work Be
hind him are the two helpers one still
holding the flask looking at each oth
er You can see tragedy In their eyes
as plain as print It is a frightful and
dramatic tableau that could not bo
duplicated by any sort of art New
Orleans Times Democrat
Clinu of lie Cyclone
Kver see a cyclone say Bite the
world and munch away Kat up
houses fences trees just as easy as
you please Set n hustle on Its jaws
Swipe tho earth with fiendish claws
Hump its hack and take a rim through
the orchard just for fun Prom a hill
to hollow flit seeming to get strength
from It Never seen one Well I
jlng Its a pesky sort of thing
Kver see a cyclone say Take Its
track and speed away Switch Its tall
find snort and bound Just like light
ning oer the ground Get a swift move
with Its feet racing for the winning
heat Then cavorting up and down
heeding no laws of the town Pushing
everything aside Out upon n gayly
ride As though owning nil the track
ever onward never back Never seen
one Well 1 swow Its a buster
anyhow Klngsley In Times
YnchlliiK on Salt
Save during the rainy season Lnk
Lefroy In western Australia Is quite
dry But as the water evaporates as
the hot weather approaches a smooth
glassy floor of crystalline salt Is de
posited Those living on the shores
have found a menus of utilizing this
All boats which sail on the lake
when possible are during the rainy
season fitted with four wheels and
thus are enabled to continue their
travels As Lake Lefroy has an area
of 100 miles and the surrounding coun
try Is extremely rough this menus n
great saving In expense labor and
time The speed attained by these
wheeled yachts Is very considerable
though not quite equal to the pace of
tho Ice yachts so popular In Canada
Cincinnati hnqulrcr
A Sennlorliil Slnnder
Two ladies visiting In Washington
during one of the sessions of congress
went to the capltol to hear the pro
ceedings In tho United States senate
Most of the galleries being filled they
approached the doorkeeper of the sena
tors gallery where admission Is by
card As they did not possess this
passport the doorkeeper suggested
Hint they procure one trom any senator
lliey might be acquainted with
But we do not know any senator
they replied
Well It Is very much to your cred
it said the doorkeeper Pass right
In ladles San Pranclsco Argonaut
lllKh Art
Oh yes he Is a follower of one of
Ihe higher arts
Well he doesnt look It What does
lie do
Hes a professional flagpole paint
er
Belgium Is the home of the racing
pigeon There the sport Is a natloua
pastime ami a good pigeon frequeutl
wins for Its owner large sums of inon
y tho prizes being considerable to
which heavy pools are ndded
The earliest pottery with printed
lesigus of American subjects was
made at Liverpool at the end of tho
uguieemn century
Horn lOnnnl tin ol Iree
Here Is a curious error said tho
schoolboy as he laid down his Uncle
Toms Cabin and turned to the en
cyclopedia The author uses the ev
presslou All iiitii are born free and
equal
Well what Is the mailer with
that Inquired the schoolboys mule
Why the quotation should be All
men are born equal There Is no free
In It
Do you mean to tell me that lef
fersoti did not write free ami equal
In tho Declaration
Thats what ho didnt
Ill hot you --
Dont do II uncle Kemeniber you
haven family to support and they will
need all your money The word free
does not occur there See And he
placed the big book before his mis
guided relative
Oh I know bettor I will gel a
copy of the constitution In one of my
old books 1 have heard hut quoted
so often I know what 1 am talking
about
You have heard It quoted wrong ev
ery time you heard tho free In II
After they had found the good and
reliable old hook and all the rest of the
authorities the uncle ungraciously
gave up But he hated to do so It
seems Impossible lo correct that wroni
Impression The boy was right Yet
people will go on iiidellultely milking
a free and Inaccurate quotation
Chicago Post
Out si Mini lis III CiHiililllilli
The carriage horses of Chief Justice
Marshall were exceedingly thin and
ids family told him that It was cur
rently hinted that Jerry the colored
coachman exchanged too great a pro
portion of the horse feed for whisky
for personal use lo allow the horses
food enough to keep them In a good
and creditable coiidillon The Judge
went to the stable and directed Jerrys
attention to the pour appearance of
the liurses told him of the iiiiio
about his exchanging oats and hay for
whisky and thereby depriving lie
horses of their necessary supply of
food and spoke of the sleek fat team
driven by his neighbor Brewer
Laws Massa John said Jerry
Its the natur of the animals look
at Mr Brewer liisself sab a short
fat greasy genleman that aint seed
his boots after his foot was In cm for
yealis while you sab Is all and roun
shouldered an sees your feet all de
time youse walklii an look at his
coachman thicker through than lie Is
long wlilles Ise only skin tin bones
Of course Ills critters Is Tat while
yours Is thin Its their natur Massa
John Its their natur They belongs
to the fat kin and we all belongs to tie
lean kin Its natur
Perhaps that is so saltl the Judge
reflectively and walked away as if well
satisfied with tho explanation Chica
go Inter Ocenu
IiiirueNt Kmcrnlil In the World
A vase cut from a single emerald
has been preserved in a cathedral In
Genoa Italy COO years Its dimensions
are Diameter liP Indies height rtfi
inches lOvery preen lit Ion is used to
Insure safekeeping Several locks must
be opened to reach it anil the key of
each lock Is In the possession of a
different man It Is publicly exhibited
very rarely and then only by order of
lie senate A precautionary decree
was passed in M7U forbidding all per-
sons to approach the priceless treasure
too closely An antiquarian advances
j the theory that It was one of the gifts
made Solomon by the Queen of Sheba
and has written a book to prove his
assumption It is dlHIeult in these
matter of fact days to believe so large
an emerald had ever been found and It
would be Interesting to hear the ver
dict of a gem expert nfter he had care
fully examined the vase Manufactur
ing Jeweler
ArtUla In Molltcr of Ienrl
The Incrustation of precious woods
with mother of pearl is In Hnnort
French Tonquin an Important In
dustry an entire street known as the
street of the Inlayers being devoted
to It Landscapes gleaming In the sum
sheafs of many colored flowers the
most delicate arabesques and many
other beautiful things are evolved by
the deft aud pliant lingers of the art
fleers with the alt of the plainest and
crudest tools only anil marvelous cab
inets and other articles are fashioned
and put together without the aid of
nulls by dovetailing and lacquer paste
riiiireh IlelU
Why do they have church bells
What good are they Men go to a
hank or the store at the proper time
without a bell Women open up their
millinery stores on time without being
rung up People In the country where
there are no bells get to church on
time The fact Is church bells are a
relic of ancient limes People have
llieni because it is custom They do no
good Keally they are a uulsunce
Atchison Globe
An IJniilc imnnl Diet
Mr Diikaue Jouesy indulged In a
linguistic diet yesterday
Mr Caswell What do you mean by
that
Mr Dukano Northslde made him
oat his words Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph
The man who Insists at the poker
party that the husband Is tho lord and
master Is the one who takes off his
shoes to sneak up stairs when he gets
homo New York Press
A calm at sea resembles thnt artifi
cial sleep which Is produced by opium
In an ardent fever the disease Is sus
pended but no good Is derived from It
The nerve thnt never relaxes the
eye that never blenches the thought
that never wanders those nre the mas
ters of victory Burke
r
2
5
a
r w t v w r r
OUR BEST
FRIENDS
3
1 iiiijfcv
art the long timr uwrs ol
Smith Pmuirrs The more
hard work ttirnrd out the
more appuenl is Smith
Premier diirbillly Repair
bills reduced In a minimum
Sinilh Premier capacity lor
1ood work all llie lime is
unequaletl
Catalogue Tree
Ask for it
Ihr
Smith Premier
Typewriter Co
FINE COMMERCIAL
PRINTING
4Vi
mm
rt
in I yiirVllii
hm mm
tepi
- v-
r
WAS HUN I
A blindness irmrs to nu now and then I have it
now It is can sec y yrs lint not your nose
I cant read because some of llie leicrs are blurred dark
spots cover I hem it is very uncomfortable
1 know aM aboul it its DYSPKPSIA Take one
of these it will cure you in ten minutes
What is it
A Rinans Tabule
- A mini if IhmI limllli Uul IIMANB will 1ml limnt Thtjt Imiilnh linlti imil lirtlonjc llfn
WANTIK ullif Iwil UiuKunl III l ANHiin thf liiukiiK mill iicrtit ulvitlliiln llllANS
ill fnri iMilH or twilM iiiKktlsfiir IHii nli limy Im liml ul imy OniK utorn Ti n numilFHiiiiiiiiin thiiu
anil tiMliiiiiiiliilH will Im inullisl li iiiij ui1iIkiii fur fi inlK fiiwnlnllo the ltltiutm Jliciiilcul Co No
Ul UuruisSt Niw York
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