X-
The NoHfolk tfeuas
A now pniwr doTotcd to palmistry ImH
boon elossitlcd by a cotoinpornry as a
band orfrnn
It linn boon said Iv n French writer
thnt Our xvorrlcs uhvaVH romo fnim
onr weakness
DnrinK the year ondliiK AuriihI 1
1W1 tho Baldwin locomotive works
shipped 101 locomotives to other coun
tries
Tho sobt r mcoihI thouKht of thti
saved thts nntton In I Will from iliro
disaster It will h tho Kiiinu t liiiiK ln
IIKHI
ton Krod Funstoti makes tho declar
ation since his ictimt that peace lies in
tho direction of crushing out tho Kill
iuo insurrection
Tho polar star it is now announced
iH really three stnis If that is tho earn
it would beat tho Oherry sisters In a
etur oiiKnKoniont
if a calamity eandidato on ticnlntnity
plntforin couldnt win in a eahunity
yeuris it logical to expect him to win in
a year of unexampled prosperity
There are mild to he fr dos in Vak
laud to every 1000 InhatiitantH To any
one wakeful at nights it would Huem in
this country as if t ho Uures are reversed
Ho laughs best wlio IuukIib lust
When you read in domooratio journals
that Brynn iH us kooiI ns elected in 1 100
juflt remember that tho voton aint
counted yot
It is now hinted that if Porto Rico
had not Imjoii assimilated and brought
suidor tho sphere of Ilunnuisin tho
recent hurricane would not lmvu struck
that benighted laud
Tho republican Ktato convontion will
moot in Omaha tomorrow and placo in
nomination a candidate for judge of tho
supremo court who will make it iiupos
niblo for Slippory Si to secure an
other soft job at tho state house this
wintor
Hryanites sue a silver lining to a war
iu the Transvaal which miiht curtail
tho gold production of South Africa and
brinj on a stringency which would givo
them au oxeuso for again foisting tho
almost defunct silver question on the
country
Mr Bryan should make somo speeches
in India They are trying to got on tho
gold basis there and their benightod
statesmen nro even ignorant of tho
fact that tho fall of silvor from 1812 to
1SIM was cnused by tho orimo of 711
Nebraska doinocrats commend tho
returned volunteers for obeying or
ders They did inoro than simply
obey orders thoy responded to their
countrys call thoy uphold the honor of
tho Mug and they paved tho way for a
bettor and higher civilization for tho
Filipinos
Tho man with tho boo has been so
pitifully commiserated by Kdwurd
Markham that tho Now York Sun offers
f400 as a prize to tho man who will write
tho host thing about tho man without
tho hoo It seems very clear that tho
latter is really tho unfortunate ono Iu
these days it is tho man who has got
tho hoo and tho land to uso it on that is
tho master of destiny
Both tho doinocrats and tho republi
cans iu Ohio nro said to bo highly grati
fied over tho nominntiou of John H
McLean for governor Of course tho
democrats may bo pleased at tho pros
pect of Mr Me Loan opening his well
filled barl but otherwise are not thoir
gratification protestations somothing on
tho order of a belated sohool boys cour
age as ho wont whistling through a
graveynrd
It is announced that tho republican
Btato convention tomorrow in Omohu
will bo held iu tho exposition auditorium
nud that delegates to tho convention
will bo admitted to t ho exposition grouuds
free On behalf of tho Madison county
delegation wo desiro to protest against
being made a side show to the exposi
tion If thoso who go as delegates to
tke convention want to seo tho exposi
tion they are amply able to pay their
way into the grounds but they object
to being made one of tho attractions of
that show
Bishop J M Hoburn of the Metho
dist church who has spent tho larger
part of his life in China is visiting
friends in this country Ho understands
tho east as few men do having visited
the Philippine islands many times Iu
regard to our duty there ho expresses
himself in the following very emphatic
manner At every hazard and at every
cost it becomes the solemn duty ot tho
American people a duty from which
the civilized world will never absolve j
them to put down all warlike opposi
tion and give peace to the islauds nud
also provide good govenuent throughout
the whole archipelago
The dissatisfaction which was aroused
by the Manila correspondents iu their
complaint of the course pursued by Gen j
Otis seems to have entirely disappeared I
Gen Otis has found plenty of defenders
and tho administration finds no sufllniont
causo for superceding or distrusting him
Tho now secretary of war is earnestly
endeavoring to supply tho noeded forco
and equipment and to heart ily co opomto
with Gen Otis in a more vigorous prose
cution of the war It Is tho fond hopo
of the American people that a very speedy
conclusion of hostilities inny result
with as little loss of life as is possible to
gain the desired end Tho next cam
paign will begin about the first of Decern
her
Democrats aro crowing wildly over a
democratic victory In a democratic dis
trict in Missouri- tho Kighth district
Haunting tho fact proudly that tho vote
shows clear opposition to expansion
Tho country at large the administration
and republicans generally aro not how
ever worrying unnecessarily The
Kighth district has usually been on tho
side of tho fence which time and expert
once has proven tho wrong side It is
usually on against district It is op
posed to sound money and toaprolective
tanllupon boMi of which policies tlojiond
tho business prosperity tho industrial
life and tho homo market of the repub
lic and tho fact that this district now
shows itself opposed tooxpuusion merely
exemplifies its usual preference for the
wrong end ot a question
What au abiding faith some innii have
iu other men There was once a man
who said thatwheat and silver rose and
fell together and he staked his
entire reputation on this assertion
This was ono of tho most absurd and
ridiculous doctrines over presented in
sober senso to an intelligent community
that a bushel of wheat and an ounce of
silver would always bo equal in valuo
When this statement was made in a
spooch of W J Bryans Sept 11880
they wore as it happonod equal in
value Just ono year later Soptl 1807
ono bushel of wheat would buy two
ounces of silvor and since that time the
two commodities have nlways been wide
apart meandering up and down and
showing no regard for tho Bryan law
And yet thero are pooplo who still boliuvo
Win J Bryan infallible
Senator Lindsay the Kentucky demo
crat sustains tho Philippine policy of
tho president in tho following vory long
but very thoughtful soutence If by
holding up tho hands of thoso who
aspire to orderly and stable institutions
wo shall open the way to a homo govern
ment under which individual rights
will bo respected domestic tranquility
insured and life liberty and property
protectod by tho fixed mitt regular ad
ministration of just and equal laws wo
shall give another and striking ovidonco
of mans capacity for self government
and over and above all considerations of
pecuniary or commercial advantages
however great they may bo wc shall bo
compensated for tho blood and tronsuro
wo have expended and may expend by
tho consciousness of having scoured to
tho inalienable rights of man a wider
field and to free institutions tho oppor
tunity to extend their blessings to tho
human family in a quarter of the world
in which despotism has had its undis
puted reign from tho enrliont period of
recorded tiino
Tho amount and variety of American
goods that aro wanted for export are
unprecedented England wants moro lo
comotives Sumatra iron oil tanks plau
iugnnd saw mill plants are being shipped
to Porto Kico and Now Zealand pumps
in largo quantities to China and Copen
hagen Windsor castle has ordered fifty
sets of electric liolls from an American
manufacturer and England wants
l 000000 barrels of apples from this
country this year Never woro we
selling so miioh of so niauy things to tho
whole world as wo aro doing today
and novor woro wo getting such prices
for them And all this is taking place
under n protective tariff which the
democratic press has ropeatedly assorted
would destroy our foreign connnorco
As has been tho caso along other Hues
tho wooful predictions of democracy
remain unfulfilled Their prophets
seem to bo always unfortunate They
novor size up tho situation correctly
When they run up agaiust facts they
aro nonplused and defeated Tho truth
is that democracy is long on fancies
and short on facts
A banker of one of tho smaller towns
of eastern Nebraska was in Norfolk the
other day on his way to Chutlrou In
oxplauatiou of his bnsiuess iii tho west
ern part of tho state he said that his
bank was overloaded with money mid
lie found it iuipjssibto to get it out
whero it would draw interest Tho
peoplo who in former years had been
coustaut borrowers now had money ou
deposit so that tho resources from thut
class of men wore gone Those whose
money was lyiug idle in his bank he
stated were principally furmers while
the business men of his town now dis
count their bill 4 with their owu
fuuds This condition while indicat
ing au overwhelming prosperity of the
country at largo reuderod it dilllcult
for the bank to mnke legitimate invest
ments and he was going west to at
tempt to place a large loan ou a sheep
ranch When Nebraska bankers are
obliged to go ont and fairly beg some
oue to make u e of their overplus cash I
it means that the people of this state are
eujoyiug a greater degree of prosperity
than they have ever know before
THE NORFOLK NEWS THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 28 1899
A A Welch
In tho selection of A A Woloh of
Wayno as candidate for judgo of tho
district court for the Ninth judicial dis
trict of Nebraska the republicans have
mudo a wiso ohoico and one which goes
a long ways toward Insuring the success
of the ticket at tho polls this fall Mr
Woloh Is ono of tho prominent attorneys
of north Nobru lco having been a loading
practitioner of Wayno during tho past 10
years ranking among the foremost of his
profession not only in his homo county
but throughout tho district and state
Mr Welch comes from sturdy Vermont
stock having been born near Benning
ton in ISft I and it is perhaps unnecessary
to further stato that ho has always been
a republican having cast his first
presidential vote for hunes A Garfield
In I8S0 When ho was quite young his
patents removed to Henry county
Illinois which ho enntuued to call home
until ho came to Nebraska Through
an accident ho lost one of his feet when
ten years old which changed tho whole
course of his life being obliged to leave
tho farm a few years later al
though ho did work at tho carpenters
trade several suinmurs when a young
man teaching school and reading law
during tho wintors Tho study of law
was pursued under tho leading lawyer
of ialvu Illinois and he was admitted
to practice boforo tho supremo court of
that state in tho spring of 188
That year ho caino west and settled
in Wayno whero ho began tho practice
of his profession In 1K85 he was elected
superintendent of schools of Wayno
county in which capacity ho served ono
term declining a rouominutiou iu order
to devote his whole timo to tho practico
of law Iul8lthowtts olected on tho
republican tickot as county nttornoy by
a majority of 5218 receiving tho highost
vote of any candiduto on any ticket iu
his county that year At tho pres
idential oloctiou of 18i ho was re
elected county attornoy by a majority of
100 again receiving tho highest voto of
any candidate in face of tho fact that
Bryan carried tho county by 1 17 majority
Thoso figures show that Mr Welch has
a standing at homo of which ho may
well feol proud such a cordial hoartv
endorsement being seldom accorded to
any candiduto during tho heat of a
presidential campaign I lo is considered
ono of the subtantial men of his home
town and has always identified himself
with tho spirit of enterprise that has
mado Wayno ono of tho best cities in
northeast Nebraska As a lawyer his
opinions aro always found to bo sound
and reliable and ho is a clear headed
fair minded man who will inako au
honorable juut judge This district can
make no mistake in elocting Mr Welch
at tho coming election
The New York press seems to have
tacitly agreed not to ngrco In observing
uny rule of uniformity In writing proper
names they are fond of displaying
what wo suppose passes for critical
ucumen In tho circumstances Thus
when all tho rest of the papers printed
Bevnstopol The Tribune wrote and
printed SebuKtopol Indeed It persists In
printing Mahomet which is an abom
inable piece of English phonetlclsm
Tho real pronunciation of the proper
orthographic Mohammed as given by
the late Philip Schaff is us nearly as
can be given Merhoinmud the er rep
resenting o us In atom Then thero Is
tho proper Kloudyke of The Tribune
which from sheer obstinacy we Imag
ine becomes the Clondyke of another
paper and then The Tribunes very
proper Porto Kico In The Times be
comes Puerto Itleo which Americans
will refuse until The Times wearies
of printing It Then there come troop
ing along Vergil and oven Sokrntes ami
for Aladdin People who per
sist In writing In this way ought to be
Isolated from their fellow men
Former subjects of Great Britain
and members of British societies in
Boston have applied to tho authorities
of that city for permission to erect on
the historic Common a monument to
the British soldiers wlio fell In the
battle of Bunker Hill The request
should be cheerfully granted The
present era of good will between Eng
laud aud the United States Is an op
portune time for this exhibition of
International friendliness In view of
the fact that most of the 52521 British
soldiers killed at Bunker Hill were
burled in Boston Common the latter
Is thought the more suitable place for
a monument commemorating their
valor Precedent for such a monument
Is found In the public garden leading to
the Plains of Abraham at Quebec
where au obelisk comnieinorates the
victory of Wolfe and also the heroic
death of Montcalm
Every American voter should bo a
politician Not to be concerned about
what happeuB in our couutrv stato
comity aud town affairs is to oluss our
self us indifferent to their best interests
Bo alive to these thiugs Have con
victions of your owu on all public
questions Read the newspapers
Htudy up tho past history of men and
partit s If you did not attend the
primal ies this year do so uext year
Have a voice aud a baud in all public
affkirs Make your iufluenco felt
Dont growl about the dirty pool of
politics Its a nllection on yourself
if it is bail Help to make your party
and your community clean Hf member
that every American voter is imperial
in his right to rulo Sec to it that yon
aro au imperialist of tho right sort lov
ing truth law order liborty and hu
manity Tho man who isnt a politlcau
in this country hasnt got his eyes open
to his responsibilities aud privileges
Tho iriipotus given any community by
tho upbuilding of manufactories is very
clearly stated by Honry Watterson in
tho Louisville Courier Journal Ho
says When our peoplo open mines
build furnaces and mills start up fac
tories and work up tho minoral wealth
wo shall havo such a demand for labor
that thero need be no idle men iu Ken
tucky and hundrods of thousands moro
will ho drawn hero by opportunity for
employment A homo market for all
fruit and farm nnd garden products will
mako farming profitable and increase
values iu real estito Thisis tho gospel
that tho ropublican party hns nlwnj s
preached nnd it is refreshing to noto
that such old timo freo traders as Wat
terson aro accepting aud proclaiming it
Washington Gladden says that our
public school system Is in danger that
school boards and managements nro
getting into tho control of tho politicians
But as Dr Gladden admits and as nil
who aro acquainted with tho character
of our teachers throughout tho country
must admit tho teaching forco iu our
public schools forms a body of which
any country may well be proud and
whoso influence is nlniost universally
an uplift to tho youth under their
charge So long as tho school boards
employ the best available talent and
moral character combined tho school
syBtom is safe
Trade roports continue encouraging
In Bpite of tho increased prices tho tit
for goods is astonishing In pro
ducts directly consumed by individuals
tho largor employment of the woikiug
forco gives explanation There is a
largo amount of building in progressin
many sections of tho country In fact
tho era of business prosperity promised
by tho ropubl can pnrty is hero and the
people who are enjoying its blessings
will not soon voto for a return to tho
conditions exibtiug boforo they resumed
control
Ono difference between tho president
and his critics is that while thoy would
establish a goverment first iu the Philip
pines and pence afterwards tho presi
dent purposes to havo peuco first and
then establish a goveiment of law and
order It is merely tho question of get
ting tho cart boforo the horso or the
horso boforo tho cart Another is that
while they glory over Aguinnldo and
his benighted followers tho president
glories in tho stars and stripes aud the
victories of tho American soldiers
Seuntor Boveridgo aud Col Bryan are
a good deal alike in one rospeet Both
aro superb orators They aro quite dif
ferent in another Boveridgo has spent
some mouths iu the Philippines nnd
siuco his roturu hasnt said a word in re
gard to tho situation thoro or what
should bo dono Bryan never went out
sidu the country but talkB night nud day
tolling what should bo done with those
distant islnnds nud their poople But
then sileuco is golden aud speech is silver
See
Isnt it a singular fact that in tho
midst of such universal nud exceptional
prosperity as now exists thero is a man
iu this country who really wants to be
olected presideut of the republic on a
platform that would surely bring dis
aster Yet thero is such a niuu But
tho outlook happily is that ho will be
permitted to have groat expectations ou
which ho will nover realize
Deinocratio papers of the country are
telling of the many urgent calls thero
aro for Hon Charles A Towue to speak
iu different cities Pooplo living in Mr
Townos congressional district whero
he has been twice defeated for congress
say that he is iu much more demand nB
au orator than ho is as a congressman
Hev I W Gunsaulus of Chicago
who has just returned from au extended
European trip says of the eminent
council who defended Dreyfus You
want to keep your eyo on Labori He
ia likely to be the Mirabeau of modern
Franco
Admiral Schley has been appointed to
tho command of the South Atlantic
squadron Tu view of tho trouble iu
South Africa aud the disturbance in
South America tho new commuud is
likely to prove au important ono
William K Vanderbilts fortuue is
estimated at 100000000 aud by the
temiB of his will it is to be divided equal
ly among his five children It ought to
bo enough to keep them all from actual
suffering for some time to come
A democratic exchange says that this
couutrv caunot endure bcth ropublican
aud imperial Grnutiug the truth of
this statement isnt it a pretty tough
proposition to have it ouduro half dem
ocatio and half pop
David BtJtiuett Hill is saugiue that
he can bring about harmony in the
ranks of tie New York democracy
David has already demonstrated that
bis hopefulness gets the better of his
judgment
MR BPIZOOT WILKINS
lie Write of tlie Trnnlilrn Inilrtrnt
to Cinornnr IIokkh Speech nt tlip
Tnmmnny Dinner on the Kourtti
av Jnol
Burto uv INrrnMAsnrN
Wasiiimiion I C
Tu the Editor
The cm respondents uv the Burn lr In
erensin so fnt 1 hev bin obliged tu in
trodooce sum noo help in the shape uv n
typewilter tu assist me
In nnscrin nnd uthervie dispoNln uv It
The iiixi mushcen works well except nt
inenl time nnd she dont need none uv
mi precious applejack tu keep her goln
In this she differs frum sum uv our
stnltsmcn hoo drop in tu leave their nil
vice and swop it for the patriotic jooce
uv Noo Jersey ez found tu samples at
these hcdtpinrtcrs
Our time he Iiin mostly occupied dnco
the Fourth uv looly In tiling koniplaints
We hev bin glttin letters fnim every
quarter coiiseinin the preuiatoor
shun uv Gov Hogg uv Tcxns nt the
Fourth uv looly dinner nt Tammany
Hall hi with the boom uv Judge Van
Vcl wins busted nud shipwreckt be
yond repnic It wuz n little pcece uv
Texas fireworks that wuz shot off most
unexpectedly anil eauMsl n grate ilrel uv
damage before ennyhiiddy lealied whut
lied happened For several weeks our
orators frum different parts uv the koun
try lied been piepnrin tu shelve Mr Bry
iin and lied bin given InstruckHhuns tu
give Tammanys favorite nn elegant send
off Fer the sake uv nppen unices I lied
been iuxitid tu attend the feed ez a frenil
uv irover Cleveland nltho Mr Cleve
land hizself lied accidentally bin over
looked I lied bin invited tu be one uv a
konmiittee uv three boose dooty It wuz
tu overhaul the speeches xvlch wuz goln
tu be made and revise them tu fit the oc
casion We neerly lied a lite bukause I
Insisted on cuttin out a disrespeekful ul
lnohtui tu Mr Cleveland nnd I wuz also
oven tiled beknusc 1 thot thet sum men
shun hIi of id be mode uv n mnn fer whom
six nnd a half millyuu men lied voted fer
only 2 yecrs ago The other members
uv the komuilttee set it bed bin desided
not tu hev Mr Bryan nllooded tu in onny
wn ez It wuz uv the grntest iinportanco
thet the kountry shootl ouilcrstuiid thet
Tiiuunnny hed hut wun choice fer a pres
idcnslial candidate in 1000 nnd thet man
wuz Augustus Van Wyck thet the grate
orKnniznsliun wns not only fer him but
enthoosiusticnlly unnnlmous fer him nnd
cood not crack heds nud stuff ballot
boxes fer enny uthor mnn It wuz uv
the fust importance tlin sed thet n deep
nnd larstin impresshun shood be inndc
onto the minds uv the Dhuicrnts uv the
kountry outside uv Noo Yoik
Sum uv the speekers bed a lennin tu
Bryan nntl kicked sum wen tlin found
thet the koinmittee lied slashed out every
reference tu him but thn hed tu submit
or tie rooled out uv the jamboree entirely
hix liovornor Hogg uv Texas hoo hed bin
sent on ez a Bubstitoot for sumbuddy hoo
coodnt cum wuz the only man hooze
speech we didnt overhaul in ndvance
Tu tell the tronth the komuilttee didnt
think he wuz uv enulT consequence to
warrant us In nskin him whut he wuz
goin tu sa lie iz a nice old feller not
withstanding biz flwineish name und
drinks good whisky nnd Iz liberal with
it The only fault that kin be found
with hitii frum n Dimierntic stnndpint
Iz that he bonrds at the Waldorf Astoria
hotel wen he goes tu Noo York No
sound Dimicrat kin pntronize sich n
house ez thet nnd mingle mining the
robber barons and coal kings nnd uther
Ucpublikin monopolists without discred
itln hizself in the eyes uv every two
Dimicrat hoo cant nfford tu board there
It wuz a sorry da fer Tmnmany wen
we let Governor Hogg escape without
givin hlz expected speech the benefit uv
a civil service examiuashun We hev bin
holilln mi inquest onto It ever sence In
view uv whut he sed all the uther
speeches didnt amount to nothin He
busted everything wide open wen he
kulled upon the Uimicrnts uv Noo York
to git tugether fer the grnte enmpane uv
1000 tu sink all differences nnd yoonite
ez one man in support uv that fearless
eloquent matchless rabble rousln yung
Amerikin William J Brynn
We all knu he bed made nn awful
break but it wuz nothin nt nil konipnred
tu whut Immediately follered Neeily
the whole ctowd uv two thousand men
went wild at the ineushun uv Mr Bry
nns name Tim cheered nnd thn stamp
ed and thn stormed nnd then thn did it
sum more rite over ngin Nobuddy knu
whut tu nmku uv it We hed supposed
thet everything hed bin fixed fer Van
Wyck but wen cheers fer hhn wuz cnllcd
fer tha wuz so feeble thet the Bryan
men luffed right out loud I never seen
nothin like It even In Noo Gersey
Whut duz it nil mean sed I tu n
Tammany munnger hoo sot next tu imu
at the table
It means sed he thet sumbuddy
hez slipped a cog
Thunder sed I the whole mashcen
hez blipped and hunted Yu nir wuss off
than wen yu sent u delegashun tu file
ngin G rover Clevelands last nouiinashun
Yu air discredited iu yure own household
hi onrooly sons uv Tnninimiy hoo hev
gone ngin orders lite here nud now
Whut will Mr Dick Croker sa wen he
heeis uv it
Go will mnke the cnble so hot thet
the bait water will sizzle wen ho sends u
message said nil Tnmmnny nnher
And all because yu haint got sense
enuff tu rend the signs uv the times sed
I Yu hev bin deloodin each uther iu
Noo York with the Idee thet yu didnt
hev no Bryan men here right under yuie
noses After tu nlte yu will kno more
After snyin wleh I got up nnd innjestlcnl
ly strode out and took the next trane fer
Wushington We hev hed a pile uv let
ters biggern n haystnek consernln the
event nud thn nir cumin In bi tho bushel
in every mnll nt the rate uv 10 tu 1 in
faver uv Mr Bryan Wen Tammany
gits upsot in the wn Gov Hogg turned
it over thnrenint mutch left but tu wnte
fer orders frum the bosses Thet hez bin
dun so I understand but the correspond
ence uv this Buro goes tu bhow thet
thnre Iz goin tu be beeps uv tnihbcl iu
glttin them obeyed Fer the Mike uv
haruumy we shnll sa thet everything iz
luvly but the trootli Iz thet the Gold
Bugs uv Noo York nnd the Silver Bugs
uv Nebraska nir goln tu kick up a bigger
rumpus than the Kisstn Bugs uv Noo
Gersey
Frum Applejack Farm wk h iz next tu
Grover Cleveland In the stalt uv Noo
GirMty
NATIONS QRBEJINQ TO DEWEY
VmIwm r U Rptlea ts th MaoUa
ricro at Washington
Th central Idea underlying th
crand welcome to bt given Admiral
Dewey In Washington the drat woek In
October I IU national character His
arrival at the capital will murk hie real
home coming to the American people
where the offlclaln of the government
will participate and the magnificently
Jeweled nword voted by eongrMB will
be presented To that ond ftll the ar
rmngemsnta will be of a nlmplo but
moat dignified character The wolcomn
to the hero of Manila at tho national
capital will probably occur on Monday
October 2 nthough tho date will de
pond upon the length of the celebra
tion In New York which Is still un
8WORD VOTED BY CONORESS TO
DEWEY
ettled The principal features of tha
reception In Waahtngton as panned
by the citizens with the co operation
of the president and cabinet will ba
two In number tho presentation of the
word voted by congress and a night
parade A public reception at the
white houie will bo followed by dinner
to the admiral by President McKlnley
The aword will be prosented by flecre
tary Long at the east front of the cap
Itol In the prosence of Mr McKlnley
and all tho members of th cabinet
late In the afternoon while the parade
consisting of organizations of all klnda
will be accompanied by an Illumination
of the city on a scale of beauty never
before witnessed In Washington
The different features of the prepara
tions are In the hands of a central
body of cltleena and eleven commit
tees embracing In all over a thousand
people Preparations for the celebra
tion have been in hand for over a
month
Tho Baltimore and Ohio railroad and
other railroads entering Washington
have agreed upon cheap rates for the
celebration and the committee expects
that there will be an outpouring of pa
triotic citizens almost equal to the in
auguration of a president
Ileirnyad by 11 U Inrrot
Victor Chevalier a clover criminal
In Paris was run down In a shrewd
way He was known to be exceedingly
fond of a pet parrot and the police
were Instructed to look for a loqua
cious bird of this kind After a weeks
search the talkative parrot was dis
covered In the Montmartre district
The police kept a close watch on the
houBo and In time the criminal ap
peared to have an affectlonaU chat
with his bird
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
Every woman la a good actress till
she goes on the stage
There Is one thing a woman never
can understand and that is herself
When the devil had bis choice as to
instruments he first picked jealousy
If they were named anything else a
woman would have just as queer a look
In her face when she talked about her
legs
If there werent any bad men to be
horrible examples probably there
wouldnt be any good women to be
shining examples
Every racy story a man hears he
acts like It was old to him and every
woman like It was new to her and
both are making believe
When a man can make a woman be
lieve that he cant help thrilling at her
voice she feels bhe has to marry him
so that she can turn the current on
whenever she feels like It
The difference between a woman and
a cat is that when you tease the cat
you know shell scratch you but when
Its a woman you never know whether
shell kiss you or tear your eyes ouL
New York Press
MjVCo Oinuliu 8 W N V No 1H lKOfl
A hearing In the action nt tim di -
of New Yoik to lecover 11500000 In
penalties from Armour Co of Chi
cago for violating the
laws was to have been held iu
Albany yesterday It was adjourned
until September 20
Theodore Tilton who Bpends his time
between Paris and London has lost
none of hie aptness for repartee The
other day a friend asked him when it
Is a man begins to feel old He replied
at once Ill tell you when It is
wbm he Is a sophomore ia collef
4