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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (April 25, 1902)
, ' T ' U ) THE NORFOLK NEWS : FRIDAY , APRIL 25 , 1002. A LESSON IN CHESS. tVhr Wlllle'd I'nim P. ml oil It llt-fore ItVnn HCKIIII. raU'rfninllluH , with a laudable dcnlrc to keen Wllllu at homo nt night , offer ed to tench him to play chess. The boy was delighted , nnd the game began. "Put the little ones , pawns , nil along t'\ the front and the big onea behind , us I ' < < < , " show you. "I think tlmt la cownrdly. The big onea ought to be In front. Mu says" "Oh , but that Is the rule. Now , see- no ; put that rook In the corner. " "Hook ! What's a rook ? " "It Is a kind of bird. " "Well , that ain't a bird. It looks like a castle. " "Call It a castle , then and put the Isnight next" "Why Is that called a knight ? It looks like a horse's head. " "And then the blbhop. " went on pa- tcrfamlllaK , Ignoring the question ; "so , nnd then" "Why Is the bishop's head split In two , pop ? " "Oh , that Is his hat-a cardinal's hat. " "Hut I thought he was a bishop ! " "A cardinal Is also n bishop. Now don't talk HO much , Willie. Then you put the king and queen" "The queen Is bigger than the king. pop ! " "Well , so she Is. Who said she wasn'tV" said paterfamilias , with a trace of Impatience In his tone. "And then another bishop ; KO. " "Why are there two bishops , pop ? " "Hecanso the rules say so. Now , 1 nhall move Ilrst. " "What , nfter nil that trouble , are you going to move them again ? " "Say , Willie , I believe my head Is aching. I shall show you the rest some other time. " said paterfamilias as he swept the men Into the box. New York Times. A Circular A member of a party who made nn nsccnt of Flnstorrehorn some years ago thus described n novel sight which delighted the tired climbers : The dny wo mounted the Flnsterrehorn we were trcnted to the rare sight of n cir cular rainbow , the phenomenon lasting nearly half an hour and forming a - complete circle. There were heavy clouds lying some 4,000 feet below on the Aar glacier , and It was on these that the beautiful , brilliantly colored ring lay. A second circle was also vlsl hie. We were near the summit of the peak when the first of the party oh served t , and from that point the face of the mountain on the Grlmsel side Is nlmost perpendicular , giving us a splendid view. How io Tench a Pet to niilc n Dull. Many readers have doubtless seen bears standing on a rolling ball and maintaining their balance perfectly while rolling It about the arena. I hnvo n bear who delights to do the trick. He can scarcely wnit for his time to come to perform , no wns tnught , ns they nre nil taught , by jog gling his pedestal while he tried to keep from being Jostled off. Gradual ly the pedestal was substituted for a Nball with many Hat places on it , and this was followed by a perfect sphere. lie has been performing two years now , and I have never known him to Klip and fall off. Frank Leslie's Pop ular Monthly. A Illclitcr Anrcdotc. It is not always the great conduct01 that shines as a composer , though nn fortunately he often labors under the delusion that such Is the case. On one occasion Hans Itlchter was present at n concert given by a brother composer , at which the latter performed a long and not particularly Interesting work of his own. When the composition came to an end , Hichter expressed his criticism in a very few words. "Well , " he said. " 1 too , haf written compositions to makt a pile so high" raising his hand thrrr feet from the ground "but I haf burn ed them ! " Xlc-c'ly Grmlfil. It Is still a tradition that the people of Manchester , England , should gibe at Liverpool with the proverb , "A Man Chester man , a Liverpool gentleman , " but , It Is said , classlltcatldn Is not H > Btrongly marked In Lancashire as la the old days. When stagecoaches were running , n guard wns once asked , "Who has tha gotten Inside. Hilly ? " Hilly consulted his list and replied , "A gentlemen fra Liverpool , a mon fra Manchester , a chap fra Owdhnm and a fellow fra WIgau. " ,1 Until Johnnie What does It mean by "see- Ing the humorous nnil the serious side of things' : " Father Well , my son. take n bit or orange peel , for example. How many Bides has It ? Johnnl. Why , two , of course. Father Exactly. And when some other man steps on that orange peel ho sees the serious side of it and you see thu humorous side. London Tit- Hits. She Ilviiivinliorci ! . Small Mabel had received a parental Injunction to remember , at least one thing the minister said at church , nnd upon her return home exclaimed , " 1 remember something ! " "That's right , dear , " rejoined her fa ther. "Now tell me what the mlnlstei Bald. " "lie said , " replied Mabel , ' "A collec tion will now be tnken up , ' " Chicago News. Rvlilrnee to the Contrary. Citizen Madam , why do you persist In punching me with your umbrella ? Madam I want to make yon look around so I can thnnk you for giving me your scat. Now , sir , don't you geoff off nnd say that women haven't any manncrs.-Chlcago Herald. A Klornl Mlrnclr. "The most magnificent ilornl effect I ever saw In my life , " nnhl Kobcrt N. Wilson of the Morgan line , "was In Tex.iH. They have n tlower there call ed the minitower , the botanical iinma of which Is the cooperia. It usually blooms three or four dnya after n rain. I wns through the country to look nfter some land for a friend , and the thing that struck me In that particular lo cality wns the utter bnrrennesa of the whole landscape.- There was n low piece of land of ten ncres or more that was covered with low , blnck vines that were decidedly uninviting. Four houra Inter , nfter n henvy thunder shower , I passed this piece of land , nnd It wna absolutely covered with whnt seemed ti he the pn-ttlest ( lowers I hnd over seen. It was one enormous bouquet , and MIC fragrance from It was almost Intoxicating. "I could scarcely believe the evidence of my own eyes , but there It was , what seemed to he an unsightly waste trans formed as If by magic Into a bower of bloom. " 1 made Inquiry of the natives and learned that once in a long time the minitower bloomed In a few hours aft er a rain , though ordinarily the blos soms did nnt appear for three or four days and then usually came In the night. " New York Commercial Adver tiser. fly JuliltiK In lluI'nlplt. . "Before I went to college , " said a minister of this city , "I did supply work on a certain charge one summer. In the Methodist church we had serv ice morning and evening. There was n Presbyleilan church In the village , and the pastor from another village - , ' ! ( it , preaching there once a Sunday in the afternoon. I went to hear him one afternoon. He was a col lege bred man and was supposed to be away up. When he spied me In the congregation , he came down and asked me to assist in the opening exercises. \Vhen we were seated , he asked mo to rend the Ilrst lesson and at the same time announced that It was a certain chapter in the book of Numbers. Just before I was to read I reached up tc the desk and took down the Hlblc and opened at the place. I glanced down over the chapter and saw that It was a mass of unpronounceable names. I knew that he was working n joke on me. He knew that I could not get away with the e names. I said noth ing , but when the time came I stood up and announced the chapter following and read it. "When 1 sat down , he gave me a look , and he got one back. I whispered hoarsely , 'I guess not. ' Those were the only words spoken ou this subject. " Utlca Observer. i M "Quick LnnclicH. " " * It is the habit of the modern time saving young man , says Eliot Gregory In The Atlantic , upon entering n quick lunch establishment to dash for the bill of fare and give an order ( if he Is adroit enough to catch one of the maids on the tly ) before removing either coater or hat. At least 15 seconds may bo economized In this way. Once seated , the luncher falls to on anything at hnnd bread , cold slaw , crackers or catchup. When the dish ordered ar rives , lie gets his fork Into It as It ap pears over his shoulder and cleans the plate before the sauce makes Its ap pearance , so that Is eaten by Itself or with bread. Cups of coffee or tea go down In two swallows. Little piles of cake are cut In quarters and disappear in four moulhfuls , much nfti-r the fashion of children down the ore's thront In the mechanical toy. mastication being ci ther a lost art or considered a foolish waste of energy. A really accomplished luncher can assimilate his last "quarter" of cakes , wiggle into his coat and pay his cheek nt the desk at the same moment. The next he Is down the block In pursuit of a receding trolley. SinDidn't Pity. Not all 'iir conductors are merely hardened rlngets In of fares. A poor woman got on a Twenty-third street eros.stown car at Fourth avenue , and as it was well under way and she was about to hand her fare to the conductor she asked him if lie transferred to Sixth avenue. On being told no , she drew back her f > cents and asked to be let oil. "I've a long ways to go on Sixth nvenue , " she said , "and I'd better walk to there and then ride. " The car then had reached Madison avenue. "Walt till we get across the street , " nnswered the conductor. She waited , nnd Instead of stopping there lie let the car go on , past the transfer station nnd ncross Broadway to Sixth avenue. There lie pulh-d the hell and looked at her. "Thank you. " rfhe said gratefully. He had carried her within a block of whore she wanted to go and had taken no fare. New York Telegram. riillilri-ii'n Play In ( ( rinnny. It IB a common belief in south Ger many that if children play soldler.i very often In tl.e street there is a war coming , and If they piny "funeral" nn epidemic will come over the land , and many deaths will result. The relater of this tells that , when a boy , he with others played "funeral" In front of the house of an old miser In his native town In Germany. The miser became much excited and exclaimed , "I will not die yet ! " nnd made complaint to the mayor that the boys should be ar rested and punished. An Olillulnur Iluvhnnil. "Why do you niter such a large re- ni.rd for the return of that ugly dog ? " "To please m.x wife. " "But such a reward is sure to bring l > lm buck. " "No , It won't. He's dcad.-Sao l-'ninclsco Chronicle. REVEALMENT , Ut tnt tell lion rlittim with tit rhyme ( ticmld flow i An the Uugh of Invcf wlifn oft rrphyri Mow ) At the * M with gracllc luml Write their nirnei upon the urnl. I/ft me tell how tniulc ltli It * mw ileuM nutri Ai the dark \\llli tla ) i , rapt , ImloUtej Ai the Mill and tun illsclnnc fiwftt communion In rote. I.ft me trll lion- fancy from the heart ahoulil leapt Ai the cloud full fraught rlM > i from the iltep ; An the iprlng at Goil'n Mint Waku , anil , lo , the n oriel Is Mc < tt Clarence Urmy in Independent. ON THEIR SEA LEGS , Cnttlo nnil Hill-He * Do Not Citt K ciioil In HoiiKh AVeullir-r. "Do tins liorsoH niul cnttlo set fright * ened nnd ninke much disturbance In rough weather ? " iiHkcd the writer of n Now York dealer who ships cnttlo abroiul. "lllt'HS you , no. They've got sou IrgH that would put an old Halt to tdminc. Occasionally a horse will lose hln lull- lance , but a liulloek Is the greatest Iwl- nneer you ever saw. They are knowing hrutes too. You Unow , we. put them four In a pen. Well , you'll never llnd all four .standing up or lying down at one time. They figure the thing out and decide how they'll get the most room and most comfort. So two of them stand up while two lie down. When they get tired , they uhlft the watch. "The horses like to he talked to when there's a hlg sea on and things are pretty lively. They always like cer tain men better than others. So do the cattle. We have one man who can do anything with them. Kvery bul lock and horse ou the boat knows him by the time we've been out two days. He comes in handy when there's an accident. "It's mighty seldom that a serious accident happens nowadays , but once In awhile n horse or a bullock does get thrown and breaks u leg or docs some bad damage. We don't carry a veterinary. The men know as much about ordinary cattle and horse ail ments as any vet , nnd If one of the brutes breaks his leg there's nothing for It but to kill him. A veterinary couldn't do anything for him. "The company charges from ? C to ? 20 a head for carrying cattle and from $27 to $250 n head for horses. When the government Inspectors stop , ped overcrowding , they cut down the carrying capacity of some boats > head. That made a pretty big hole In the ship's profits in the course of a year. " Exchange. One WOIIIIIII'N llulliiK I'liNBloii. "There goes a woman , " said the girl , "who hasu't n thought on cnrtli erocpt dress. I know that superior man at tributes this particular weakness to all women but It's a canard , as of course are nine out of ten of male es timates of women. " She conquered a refractory button on her plove before she continued : "But tlittt woman who passed us Is , without daubt , the most dress cra/.y woman I have ever met. She knows no topic save dress can speak of no other sub ject. She spends one half of her time ut her dressmaker's , and the other half is used In exploiting the handicraft of the modiste. Goodness only knows when she manages to get anything to eat. She's dead to every feeling , I be lieve , except that which has to do wllh dress. And what do you think she sald Saturday ? I met her as we were going out of a house of mourning. A young woman whom we both knew had died , and we had been at the funeral. Com ing down the steps 1 noticed my friend , but the feeling of sorrow was too fresh upon me to permit anything more than a nod of recognition. For half a square we walked side by side. Then I said , 'I'oor , dear Clara alive and well one week a o , and now and she's gone ! ' " " 'Yes , ' answered my friend blandly , 'but wasn't she dressed beautifully ? Really , it was a treat to see her. ' " Philadelphia Press. A Manor fit Temporatiirr. The little one's mother had said , "Now , doctor , If there is any rise of temperature" she was great ou tem perature , by the way "I will send for you at once. As you know , 1 have a clinical thermometer and can take the temperalnie mjst-lf without troubling you to come In for the purpose. " .lust as I was going to bed I was startled by a violent ring at the bell and , has tening to the door , saw a terrified do mestic , who gasped : "Oh , sir , please. Blr , do come round at once ! Miss Mar jory Is worse. Missus said I was to tell you her temperature Is 10S nnd Is risin fast. " Scarcely waiting to put on my hat , I rushed round to the house of my little patient and discovered the whole fam ily assembled In the sickroom awaiting the end of poor little Marjory , the mother wrlngjng her hands In agony anil crying dreadfully. "What's the temperature now ? " I al most shouted In my ngitntion. "Oh , " sobbed the mother , "I haven't dared to look since ! My poor darling ! It was 10S , nnd they say that 105 Is al ways fatal. " And she broke down completely. Without wasting any more time 1 turned down the blanket and found that the thermometer had been thrust between the child's side and arm and the bulb Imbedded In a freshly applied hot poultice ! Chambers' Journal. A SiiNplclniiN CIIN < > . Greene Do you suppose Kctchum Is houest , or has ho designs on me , do you think ? Brown Why , what has he been do ing now ? Greene lie borrowed an umbrclln at my house last night , nnd he returned It the first thing this morning. It looks auspicious , don't you think ? Host on Transcript i n r Trick In Onirlet JllnUfna. The omelet to the HtipjKjned "ImpoHdi < Mo" in the uvcniKo kitchen , when ir reality it IH hut a momenta' work which uny ordinary cock can nccoiniUali | , .And ( fticu a nlmplo omelet IH achieved ( hero IK no end to the pretty ami toothmnno variations easily within uuu'n sldll. In the ilrst place , omcluts need not ha "toHHcd , " hut just bundled calmly and practically , and , in thu second place , the puffy onuilot is the "KOII fllo , " by far inferior to what might bo called the "true omelet , " which in not puffy at all nor mthjcct to fulling. The one point In omelut making which iintHt ho imperatively observed regards the pan. It is not at all IICCCH- uiry to buy a regular omelet pitn , as n Binootli , rather heavy , medium nixed upider answers the purpose equally well. Hut it must he kept nacrcd to onieleti absolutely never appropriated to oth er luies. It mnst never ho washed , lint cleaned by salt and brisk rubbing , ltd- foiti using melt a littlu lard in it , drain it off and rub out Well with a dry cloth until thoroughly clean mill shining Miinntli. It is nut too much to say that a propci' pan is two-thirds of the battle in successful omelet making. Never make an omelet for several persons at once , individual OUCH being iinth mure satisfactory and more easily managed. Kiln Morris Kret. ch > nar iu Woman' * Homo Conipnnion. They Took Tln-lr 'I'll rim , A young man rcMldlug In the north ern section of the city had been calling for some time ou a young woman , IP fact he thoroughly enjoyed the com pany of her whole family. One evening he called and of ( he father who an swered his ring he made his usual In qtilry , "Are the folks InV" lie was an swered In the alllrmatlve and asked to "step In. " lie was ushered Into the parlor , and after the old gentleman had engaged In convcrsal.lii with him for about a quarter of an hour he excused himself , went out , and the eldest son next enter ed ami entertained ( he young man for about n quarter of an hour. Then an other brother and sister , and the young man's suspicions were somewhat aroused when the mother took her turn. A Illtle sister came next , follow ed In turn by ( he family cat , which rubbed Itself against the young man'H newly pressed trousers. He gave a sigh of relief when , after an hour spent In misery , his sweet heart made her appearance , lie begged of her to "put him next" to the joke. and between her bursts of laughter she Informed him that "since he was try ing lo court ( lie whole family papa thought they had best take turns. " It is unnecessary to say that he failed to see the Joke and has ceased his at tentions. U ; idJng Eagle. 'Titnn nn Irlxli Hull. Before the days of proper safeguards n good many cattle got In the paths of Michigan railroads and were killed outright or HO badly Injured as to ne cessitate putting them out ( if misery. These happenings frequently afforded the owners of the cattle an opportunity to bring suit against the railroad com panies , so that the employees wore re quired to be very careful as to details nnd to keep a strict record of the man ner of a cow's death , ete. I tegular printed reports of such cases had to he turned in by the section master , who wan required to 1111 out blanks stating the probable age of the deceas ed animal , weight , color , distinguish ing marks and disposition of carcass , the animal being sometimes cut up nnd sold for beef. Naturally it was an Irish section "Kchuperintindlier" who , like Fluid- gan In his terse report of a wreck , simply stated , "Off ng'In , on ag'lnKln - ncgan , " made out the record of a cer tain bovine tragedy In a chnracterlMIc way. Mike uuessed pretty well at th i ago and weight and color of the dead cow , but when he came to fie line "disposition of carcass" he scratched his head rellectlvely. "Sure , " he muttered , "she doled nlsy , nnnywny. " Then opposite the line he scrawled , "Kind and gentle. " Detroit Free Press. ilie .JuilKO I'alil tlu > HIM. For this story of the i elation of poli tics and medicine the Philadelphia Medical Journal vouches : A physician was summoned In haste to attend the child of a family that Ihed in two rooms In the heart of a large Ameri can city not New York. The child had been seized suddenly and seriously and just at election time. The 'nother was In despair , ami when the doubtful prognosis was ghen she broke Into walling and violent self condemnation for some horrible sin of the family to which bho said the child's Illness was due a direct punishment for their crime. Shg would go nnd curse the mag istrate for it all , her husband should resign from "tho force" and such evil ways should he renounced forever. Curious lo know how the magistrate could be held responsible for the child's Illness , the doctor finally secured the confession that the crime of the poor , conscience stricken woman consisted In allowing the names of many fraudu lent voters to be registered as residing In her house , in swearing to the lie , etc. The magistrate also had demand ed this of nil the neighbors In return for Indescribable political favors. The child recovered , and the magis trate paid the physician's bill. Arcorillnu ; to * cale. Mrs. Wunder It seems to mo that that music teacher Is always asking for money. Mr. Wnnder That's perfectly natur al. Ills scale , you know , begins and ends with "dough. " Baltimore Ameri can. Two View * , "It Is hnrd to lose one's relations , " enld the seedy individual with a mourning band on his hat. "Hard ? " echoed the man whose check Is good for n million. "Why , sir , It's Blraply Impossible. " Chicago News , UTtOK MUTfO. 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VYERMAU , OF BALTIMORE , SAYS : IIM.TIMORI : , Mil , March 30 , 1901. firntbnnt - Heine entirely ciiml of < lcr.f e s , thanks to your treatment. 1 will now Rive you n full In.lory of m > case , to.te usul atour ( lit reti'Jil. AlH'iit five > iufh ojo ( intiglit ear U-san to sing , nnd tills kept on Kctting worse , utitu I lost sny iK-nrini ; 111 tins car entirely. c rwcnt u treatment for cntarrli. for tlirce months , without any success , cotisiiHcrtn niim .or . of pli ; -icaii | . nnione ether6 , the nw-t eminent car t-l-fcialift of this cil > , who told me that , y nil i'r | iiin ctiuld hilp me and even that only temporarily , that tlic head noise * ould < i : i < v i i , In t the heirint ; in t'ie cIi ( ted mr vtould be lir-t lorevir 1 tiuti s..u-\-Mir aiivrrtirrnient nctidiiually in n New York jxiper , and o-deved yourt'cat- , t Aft-r I ! i < 1 i.nd it onlvafov d ijt. acroiilititlo ( > our direction's the tioixcxceaMtl. and < I.i ) nfter Tue uuk > . my Inarm'- thcdinatcd tar has been entirely res tored. I tlianU ji n - iirtiij u.d IAI ; tw iciuaiu \ cry truly > cutr T. A , \ . iKMAK : , 7308. Broadway , Daltlwore , Md. Our tvat went < loc $ not intei'j'we ic.'th i/oni' / / / owitjuttlon. . , , - YOU CAH CURE YOURSELF AT ME INTERNATIONAL AURAL CLKCIl1 , L9C lC. C. i.E ! AVE. , CHICAGO , ILL ,