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1 THE PSYCHOLOGY
I OF COURTSHIP
Hi
S A St Valentines Day Story
oopvrtant r
1810
btf Arthur
J
r By Arthur I Strinqcr I
tetttjw
Professor Edward Wlslngton lectur
er ou practical psychology at the Uni
versity of Elsewhere wns In n grcnt
dllcnuun The more he thought over
It the greater that dilemma grew So
it ended of course In his doing what
ho always did In such cases going
and asking his sister Frances about It
Frances or Frank as he always call
ed her was such a wise little woman
that Is In most things She was al
ways disarranging his apparatus ami
mixing up his papers and she had
Borne mad Idea that a study table
ought to be cleaned up at least once a
week and she was a little frivolous
too and said Hudsons law of psychic
phenomena wns bosh But then said
the young professor with a sigh girls
would be girls
But he always called her his right
liand man This was quite right for
Frances hnd found she had to watch
her big brother like a baby Some
times he even forgot his own name
Frances blamed It all ou his live years
nt Heidelberg lie hnd come home
from Germany able to think of nothing
but psychology She had to tell him
when to carry an umbrella and when
to wear his greatcont and when to
come to dinner and which professor
It was borrowed his Baldwins hand
book and when he had or had not paid
his bills and when he should and
wIstfulnesH Frank sighed too but
said nothing
You sec Frank Ive got the first
thice iuartors of the tiling done 1 be
gan of course with a discussion ou
Asexual Genesis then thrashed out
The Mating of Mammals Then 1
went Into The Courtship of Song
Birds and reviewed all the nnluial
kingdom except one species And there
Im stuck
Which species said Frank pass
lug him the sugar
Why the human species dear men
and women you know said the
young professor In despair
Oh Is that all said Frank with
relief
Isnt that enough The most Im
portant part of the whole work
Why Toddle Its the easiest thing
In tho world I Got engaged
Engaged 1 get married Why I
I never did such a thing In my life
Of course you didnt Toddle you
stupid old fellow But why not try It
now
Tho young professor viewed the sug
gestion as a working hypothesis for
severnl minutes
Itenlly thnt seems a rather good
Idea you know
Its the only Idea said Francos
Of course It Is when you think It
over agreed the young professor
But stop a minute He got up and
TAKE HIS NOTEBOOK THERE DOLLY THATLL FIX HIM
fcbould not call So It was no wonder
the learned psychologist went to his
little sister
You see Frank Its this way said
he sinking wearily Into a big chair by
the fire while Frances fluttered about
making tea Ive got an idea you
know a really excellent Idea my dear
You know my Drst book The Biology
of Beauty and you remember the sup
plementary volume The Racial Func
tion of Affection I got hold of a new
field there an absolutely new field
Frankle and now one more volume
along that line of thought would con
stitute a trilogy of great psychological
value One moro volume my dear
would do it
The young professor paused and ran
his fingers perplexedly through his
hair
Suddenly he looked up and asked
Frank were you ever in love
Frances blushed crimson for be it
known a big undergraduate of Else
where had been sending her roses and
taking her to football matches for two
years But the young professor was
always thinking of his psychology
So Frances laughed and said lightly
Why of course dear There are 19
of em you know Teddle and If I
didnt have to stay and take care of
you Id marry em all
The young professor looked reprov
ingly over his glasses at bis sister
Frances he said gravely I fear
you are frivolous exceedingly frivo
lous Instead of denying the charge
the accused young lady deliberately
rumpled up the young professors hair
In a most affectionate maimer She
noticed there wns just a streak or two
of gray coming In It
Well Teddle dear what Is the third
volume to be about she finally said
giving him his tea
What about7 Well thats Just It
The young professor put down his ten
cup and checked off something on his
fingers It ought to be The Psycholo
gy of Courtship you know but heres
Just where Im stuck The trouble Is
my dear I I dont know anything
about courtship
The young professor sighed and gaz
ed In the fire with a look of pensive
walked up and down In perplexity
But Its impossible out of the ques
tion absurdl Why there has to be a
woman And there Isnt any
How about Dorothea Davidson
suggested Frances
It was the young professors turn to
blush Much to his horror Frances
was In the habit of always asking
friends of hers In for tea Among
those who came oftenest was Doro
thea Davidson Professor Davidson
was the head of the moral philosophy
department of the university and of
course thut was why the young psy
chologist had treated Dorothea with
less absentmlndedness and abstraction
than ho displayed to the ordinnry
young lady of Elsewhere In fact he
had even taken her to n couple of polo
matches on the university campus and
sent her his two books bound In gold
and green morocco But one day the
Jocular little fellow in mathematics
made some sly allusion to the fact and
thereafter the young professor always
fled precipitately whenever he found
that charming and quite harmless
young lady drinking tea with his sis
ter But Frances was a wise Uttlo
woman and she knew wluft she knew
So when tho young professor consid
ered such an astounding proposal he
did so with considerable embarrass
ment
But cr Frank the er lady her
self you know She she mightnt
like that sort of thing
Why you foolish hoy thats where
the courtship comes in
But I say Frank how how would
you advise a fellow to go about this
6ort of thing
How said Frances Why Its all
easy enough Tomorrow Is St Valen
tines day Send Dorothea a valentine
In the first place a nice one with a lit
tle sentiment In It you know to show
her youre not a stick
Does does she really think Im a
stick asked tho young professor
aghast lie had never looked at It In
that light before
Of course she does Couldnt think
anything else Teddle dear And after
youve sent her the valentine you
ought to call or do something like that
THE NORFOLK NEWS FRIDAY FEBRUARY II Mt
you Know and then Ill ask Dorothea
out to ten with us and then and
then oh then youll have to do all
the rest yourself
So Frances very wisely brought hlui
his pipe filled It for him nnd left him
thinking n woman wasnt a bad thing
to hnve about after all
The young professor turned to his
books nnd looked up St Valentines
day and Its history He found the
original 4t Valentine wns a pious old
bishop who wns put to death In the
reign of Emperor Claudius Thnt didnt
help him out very much He mnde a
note of the fnct however nnd said he
would see Professor Incheapo about It
In tho morning But after nit this
had little to do with tho matter He
would never get through this thing
he told himself If he stuck nt details
So ho took his Indispensable notebook
and wrote under Feb HI See about
valentine for D 1 Under Feb 11
ho wrote See Brown about plumb
ing Write to Dr Roberts re mating
plumnge of Clnclnnurus reglus and
Pnrotln sexpennls Ask Dorothea If
she will marry me
Thnt evening he stole out nnd se
cretively purchased a gorgeous valen
tine n bewildering creation of poetry
perfume and pink and white satin Ou
tho back of It he wrote Willi the
very sincere regards of Edward Wls
lngton That did not seem satisfac
tory so he carefully erased It and
wrote In Its place To D D with love
from 13 W Thnt seemed better As
ho dropped It Into n letter box ho saw
a group of undergrnduntes coming
down the street He turned pink and
lied hurriedly up a sldo street llo
felt that the Rubicon hnd been crossed
The young professor spent most of
St Valentines day In the university
library When he came In for tea late
In the afternoon he had forgotten ev
erything In this world but the fact
that he had found a most precious Ger
man monograph on the generation of
pedunculated clrrlpeds mid It had giv
en him at least a dozen new Ideas
His Jaw fell when he found Miss
Dorothea Davidson In tho big chair by
the lire with Frances sitting nt her
feet The arms of thnt big chair seem
ed to hug Dorothea In an almost hu
man way Tho young professor did
not run away but he was oppressed
with a sense of something forgotten
He felt sure It wns something to do
with both pedunculated clrrlpeds nnd
Dorothea but for the life of him he
could not remember what it was
While taking his tea he decided to
slip over to his littered desk and look
for his notebook He felt sure It would
be In his notebook Fiances thought
ho was trying to escnpe
Now Teddle you mustnt work
when were here she cried catching
him by the coattalls
No we really wont let you work
said Dorothea holding out hor arms
and blocking the way to his desk in a
very tempting way Tho young pro
fessor noticed she looked very lovely
But Frank dear I
No nol Teddle you mustnt Not
today Take his notebook there Dol
ly Thatll fix him
Dolly promptly did so Yet she held
It with a certain reverence for she hnd
always been half afraid of this big
young man whoso name wns known In
all the scientific reviews
I wonder what Is so Important Dol
ly Lets find out Something about
Isometric projections is It dear
Dolly ran her eyes down the open
page Then she turned pale dropped
the notebook nnd said she she really
must be going
Why Dolly what Is It said Fran
ces picking up the fallen notebook
Then she read aloud Feb 14 See
Brown about plumbing Thats all
right Write to Dr Roberts re mating
plumage of Clnclnnurus reglus and
Par parotla sexpennls That seems all
right Ask Dorothea If she will
Why I I oh theres theres yes
Im sure theres somebody ringing
down stairs and I must see about It
And Frances shut the door quite
tight when she went out
A Joke Coat CIiIcbko the Convention
Rlchnrd C Kerens of Missouri de
clares that the little Joke of President
Miller of the Hamilton club of St
Louis being a suburb of Chicago cost
the latter city the convention which
shows thnt It Isnt safe to twit on
facts Members of the national com
mittee however sny thnt Dr Jnmle
son Is himself responsible for the re
sult He was one of the two tellers
Mr Durbin of Indiana wns the other
and on the second ballot being engag
ed In the performance of his dutlos
forgot to vote The polls showed 21
for Chlcngo 23 for Philadelphia and 1
Mr Kerens for St Louis When tho
chairman announced thnt some one
hnd neglected to vote Dr Jnmleson
went over to Mr Payne mnde a con
fession and asked him to Insist upon
another ballot whereupon Mr Payno
suggested thnt Instead of passing the
hat around among the members who
were scattered and constantly moving
about the rooms the roll be called and
every man step up nnd deposit his bal
lot on the table This was done and
the result was that Philadelphia gain
ed two votes and Chicago gained one
Mr Kerens and somebody else who
had supported Chicago on the previous
ballot threw their votes to Philadel
phia and the result was a majority
for that city Chlcngo Record
IIoiv to Ilrourn OjMcra
Drain Inrge oysters and to the liquor
ndd some dark well seasoned beef
Btock cook ten minutes together nnd
strnln In a spider melt some butter
nnd let It slightly brown then add
half the quantity of lour as of butter
blend nnd brown without burning to a
rich darkness add the oysters mov
ing them about gently for n few sec
onds then pour enough of the strained
sauce lo mike a sauce of medium con
sistency yrve on small rounds of
toast
i Shi n
INTEREST IN CONGRESS CEN
TERS IN SIIIPPINO DILL
It 1 llnril to Jnitrmlnnil Why flnm
liitntom Support lNirclwn
lilt CompiiHlm Aunlnut Our Own
Aim Million WiiKlilnKdin Crntndr
Washington Feb 8 Tho chief In
tel est of the session of congress now
centers In the shipping bill Thin bill
has been side tracked a number of
times nnd frequently pionouneed dead
by Pimgiiltie Demoernts nnd cocksure
newspaper coiiespoiulents To all such
Individuals a surprise party was given
on Tuesday when Senntor Fryo who
has the hill In charge gave notice that
he would not give way hereafter to
anybody or to any other bill not oven
to an appropriation bill until he ship
ping hill was disposed of unless com
pelled lo do so by a vote of the senate
Mr Frvo Is enabled to tnke this deci
sive step because the shipping hill has
the right of way being the regular or
der before the senate and also because
It Is Indorsed by the administration
nnd by the full strength of the Repub
lican party In both houses
Briefly the Republicans unitedly sup
port the bill because they consider It a
measure of the highest Importance and
greatest advantage to the whole coun
try It alms to resuscitate and rebuild
our American inerehanl marine by tho
snme or similar means that Great Brit
ain and Germany hnvu developed their
merchant marine and that has proved
to be the only way In which that object
can bo attained The opposition hnvo
nlleged the unconstitutionality of boun
ties and favoritism to existing linen as
their principal arguments but they
have been unable to punch a hole
through tho Impregnable defenses of
the measure Candid nnd careful ex
amination of the text shows conclusive
ly that tho bill Is not chargeable with
favoritism and that It will tend to ben
efit the whole community not only
shipbuilders and shipowners but also
ull the agricultural manufacturing
mining meicantllecomnierclal and In
dustrial Interests generally
Senator Aldrlch Is one of the most
prominent figures nnd n power In the
senate He Is unexcelled as a manager
and manipulator and Is very successful
In compromising conflict lug Interests U
mutual satisfaction He Is In charge
of tho wnr revenue reduction bill and Is
very anxious to call It up and have It
disposed of but ho recognizes the grcnt
merit of the shipping hill and will not
hinder Its progress by obtruding his
own bill at present Ills evident ear
nestness In behalf of the shipping bill
Is another reason why Its special man
agers arc confident that It will pass be
cause Senutor Aldrlch wields great In
fluence on both sides of the senate and
his Judgment In regard to any measure
Is Invariably deferred to with great re
spect by mnny senators uud In fuct by
the senate as u whole
The proposition to bring Mrs Carrie
Nation of ICnnsas to tills city In a re
form capacity Is viewed with trepida
tion by some statesmen who are aware
of the fact that as stated In n recent
educational primer congress holds Its
serious above two unlicensed can
teens Referring to tills alarming ru
mor Representative Curtis of Kansas
remarks that If Mrs Nation comes here
we shall send her first to the senate
and let her denl summarily with tho
conditions over there before taking up
a crusade among the representatives of
the people
Mr W E Annln a special agent of
the government In chnrge of the rural
free delivery mall system ImH arrived
In Washington after a long absence In
the line of his duty and reports that
rural free delivery is a grand success
and It hns come to stay It is a civi
lizing force and an educational agent
and the amount of good it will accom
plish for the people Is Incalculable It
makes the farms where the service
reaches appreciate In dollars nnd cents
and It mukes fnrm life more attractive
It is a boon and a blessing nnd Its ex
tension should be applauded by every
patriot Mr Annln says that In the
territory which he covers embracing
half of the United States the demnnds
for free delivery are so great that It
will be a year before the latest appli
cations can be attended to by the de
partment
Apropos to return again for a mo
ment to the shipping bill Postmaster
General Smith recently demonstrated
In nn article the fuct that Great Brit
ain pays far larger subsidies to her
steamship companies for carrying the
mulls than wo ever paid to ours Tho
same Is true of Germany which gives
the North German Lloyd company 2
000000 or more for carrying tho Ger
man malls to this country which Is
moro than twice as much as we ever
gave to any American lino for a
similar service We are also paying
largo sums to the Germnn French nnd
Engllhh lines for carrying our mails to
Europe because we have not enough
American ships to perforin the service
And now the agents of these foreign
beneficiaries of our government are
vigorously engaged In fighting the
pending shipping bill to the utmost ex
tent of their ability so as to prevent
us from building more mall steamships
ourselves and to keep all our mail sub
sidy money themselves This Is very
natural on their part but the queer
thing about It Is thnt our Democrats
and PopulUts In congress are doing
their best to assist these foreigners In
their autl Americuu campaign
J B M
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THE TWENTIETH OWNTU RY FARMER In published by Tho
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