Grovrs Stubborn. Any complaint becomes chronic by neglect , and rheumatism grows stub born by not using St. Jacobs Oil , which is its sure cure and conquers the pain promptly. Every sufferer should use it. Both Mary Queeu of Scots and George II. were buried at midnight. Diamond "C" Soap does not shrink Dannels and It leaves all fabrics in the most desirable condition. Judge of a man by his questions rather than bv h * answers. VoXaire. Catarrh Cured Blood Purified by Hood's Sarsapa pilla and Health Is Good. * * I was a sufferer from catarrh. One of my neighbors advised me to take Hood's Barsaparilla and I did so. A few bottles purified my blood and cured me. 1 have remained in good health ever since. " 3AS. T. ADKINS , Alhensville , Illinois. Hood's arsa Is America's Greatest Medicine. 51 ; six for 53. Hood's Pills cure ail Lm-r Ills. IS cents. y TOE EXCELLENCE OF SYRUP OF FIGS is due not only to the originality and simplicity of the combination , but also to the care and skill with which it is manufactured by scientiilc processes known to the CALIFORNIA FIG Sviirr Co. only , and we wish to impress upon all the importance of purchasing the true and original remedy. As the genuine Syrup of Figs is manufactured by the CALIFGKXIA FIG SYRUP Co. only , a knowledge of that fact will assist one in avoiding the worthless imitations manufactured by other par ties. The high standing of the CALI FORNIA FIG SYKUP Co. with the medi cal profession , and the satisfaction which the genuine Syrup of Figs has given to millions of families , makes the name of the Company a guaranty of the excellence of its remedy. It is far in advance of all other laxatives , as it acts on the kidneys , liver and bowels without irritating or weaken ing them , and it does not gripe nor nauseate. In order to get its beneficial effects , please remember the name of the Company CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRANCISCO , Ca7. OWJUI8VILLE. Ky. NEW TORE. > . T. Hu You Want Printers' Supplies , Pa = per Stock or Printers' Furni ture any thing that printer and publisher uses ? If so , just drop a card to the CHICAGO NEWSPAPER UNION , 411 Douglas St. , Sioux City Iowa , and we will send you our price list and bargain list. Save Money By buying your Printers * Ma = chinery Presses , Paper Cut ters , Gas Engines , Etc. , of CHICAGO NEWSPAPER UNION 411 Douglas St. , Sioux City , Iowa. Surpassed Expectations. "Did your picnic fulfill your expecta tions ? " "Oh , my , yes. It surpassed them. We fully expected it to rain , but hail was more than we anticipated. " Cin cinnati Enquirer. A Race Against Fire. The crew of a steamer from Spain dis covered in mid-ocean that flames were rag- inj , ' in the hold. For ten days they bravely fought the flames. If men would fight as persistently against disorders of the stomach ach , there would be fewer premature deaths. The best weapon for such a fight is Hor.tettcr's Stomach Bitters. All Good Ones. Ethel I've bad fully a dozen offers of marriage lately. Maud Mercy me ! Good ones ? Ethel Yes. All from George. Bos ton Traveler. Diamond "C" Soap is a high grade laundry soap that can be used in harder or soft water. Knsily Answered. Pryer According to your observa tion of popular taste , what poets do you consider in the swim just now ? Meyers Divers poets , of course.- Boston Courier. A. LIVING WITNESS. Mrs. Hoffman Describes How She "Wrote to Mrs. Pinkham for Advice , and Is ITow WelL MKS. PJXKHAM : Before using your Vegetable Compound I was a great sufferer. I have been sick for months , was troubled with severe pain in both sides of abdomen , sore feeling in lower part of bow els , also suffered with dizziness , headache , and could not sleep. I wrote you a letter describ ing my case and asking your advice. You replied telling - ing me just what to do. I followed your direc tions , and cannot praise your medicine enough for what it has done for me. Many thanks to you for your advice. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound has cured me , and I will recom mend it to my friends. Mrs. FLOKEXCK R. HOFFMAN , 532 Roland St. , Canton , O. The condition described by Mrs. Hoff man will appeal to many women , yet lots of sick women struggle on with their daily tasks disregarding the urgent warnings until overtaken by actual collapse. The present Mrs. Pinkham's experi ence in treating female ills is unparal leled , for years she worked side by side with Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham , and for sometimes past has had sole charge of the correspondence department of her great business , treating by letter as many as a hundred thousand ailing women during a single year. The entire collection of coins ana medals in the British Museum consists of nearly 1MO.OOO specimens. St. Jacobs Oil cures Rheumatism. Su Jacobs Oil " Neuralgia. St. Jacobs Oil " Lumbago. St. Jacobs Oil " Sciatica. St. Jacobs Oil " Spraius. St. Jacobs Oil u Bruises. St. Jacobs Oil " Soreness. St. Jacobs Oil " Stiffness. St. Jacobs Oil M Backache. St. Jacobs Oil " Muscular Achas. It is not enough to have great quali ties , we must also have the manage- uient of them. Rochefoucauld. A complete feminine toilet serxlce always Includes Glenn's sulphur soap. Hill's lialr and Whisker Die. black or brown , 50c. There are 13,000 distinct varieties ot postage stamps. TVIiiHlovr't * booTiuxa SYBUP Tor ChJldrec teething : softens the Kums , reduces inflammation allajb pain , cures wind colic. 25 centK a bottle. . - - - . - - Trill WANTED. Case of bad health tlmt R-I-P-A.-N-S not benefit. Send 5 cents to Kinans Chemical Co. , New York , for 10 samples anil 1.000 testimonials. The life of a tradesman is about two- thirds thnf of n farmer. ' I It has been s&id of Americans that they are "a nation oF dyspeptics" and it is true that Few are entirely free from disorders. of the digestive tract , Indigestion , Dyspepsia , Stomach and Bovsel trouble , or Constipation. The treatment o ? these with cathartic medicines too. often ag gravates the trouble. THE. LOGICAL , TREATMENT is the use oF a remedy that wiU build up the system , thereby enabling the various organs to act as Mature intended they should J Such a remedy is found in Or Yfilli ms1 Pink Pills for Pa\e \ People .rkre is tVje prooFv In Detroit there are few soldiers more popular and efficient than Max K. Davies , first sergeant of Co. B. His home is at 416 Third Avenue. For four years he was a bookkeeper -with the wholesale drug house of Farrand , Williams & Clark , and he says : "I have charged up many thousand orders for Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People , but never knew their worth until I used them for the cure of chronic dyspepsia. For two years I suffered and doctored for that aggravating trouble but could only be helped temporarily. "I think dyspepsia is one of UK- most stubborn of ailments , and there Ja scarcely a clerk or office man but what i more or less a victim. Some days I could eat anything , while at other times I would be starving. Those distressed pains would force me to quit work. I have tried many treatments and icmcdiesbut they would help ouly for a time. A friend induced me to try Dr. Williams' rink. Pills for Pale People , and after tak ing a few doses I found much rclief and after using several boxes I was cunrd. I know these pills will cure dyspepsia of its worst foim and I am pleased to Kcommend them. " Detroit ( Mick ) Journal. \ Tnc genuine p tk gc 6\w&ys bcMs the U\\ \ \ s&U drug isfa. oj icnt postpaid on rcicipt o ( ptue ,50' * * h per bon , Dy the Or.f/illit\ms / Medtcme Co.Sihencct&rty.N V. EUMOS 01 ? THE WEEK STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Odd , Curious and Laughable Phasca of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed trayed by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day A Budget of 3Tun , Real Estate. AYall.ice--We don't want Hawaii. AVe want no heathen land. Ferry Hawaii is no heathen land. It his had missionaries for 100 years , and while rhe native- , may lie heathen the land i < in. pos es ion of the Christians. Cincinnati Enquirer. As She Understood It. He Why did you fail 'to recognize me on the Mree-t to-day V Slio I didn't see you. He That's < ran ire. J saw you twice. She Oh. that probably accounts for it. I never notiiv a man in tihat con dition. Not a Quiet Talker. She -1 < your wife talkative still ? HeX < > , l ul she's- still talkative. lie .Deserved It. She Vou > aid a moment ago that you thought the world was becoming less lovely every d.iy. lid you really mean that ? He Of course. If 1 hadn't meant it I wouldn't have said it. She You needn't come next Sunday eveninir. I remember now that 1 have another eiigagement. It was only then that he realized how he. ih.id lost a girl whose father was worth millions. In Darkest Africa. ' . / / / ( .rimbo .htm iiued'itini { : can't un derstand what's d : > maittiT wid Jiinjio Sam. E\v .xeiico iu * eat dat mN'-ioii- ary from ? \ < vw .Ji-rM'.v ho ain't been well. " ! ) ( > e de dot-tor will know "boul it. .lumbo .Jim J > at'a fact , he do. 11 < % je ' been a ojii'vatiit' Binixn. anil he Miy he trot a "hayseed" in liiappen dix.- lmira Telcirram. Her s your wilV ever lind fault when you happen 10 slay out late at nigh'V" 'Nohc is ncin > r.'illy 100 lui.sy liudiui ; mv liaK' . " - _ - His Kcport. j-ouml this afternoon She Did you - papa noon concernhii ; our marriaiix-V lie Vo > . I sounded him , and I'll bet everybody in the block heard it when I . - > inirk the bottom. Science HlulTcrt. "They are inakinsr artiiieial eirus in Europe- that defy deU'etion. " "J'et they ean't mabo an c > irjr nvo years old that will defy detection. " Cleveland I'laind-'aier. Action. * ' Ia , we ain't ux t eoini/ny for din ' ' ner. "Xo. lit ili Tom. " ' \Voll. what makes you stick your lit- lle lii\T : out when vou drink teaV" I ni pertinence. "When I jcet anjrry there is no power on earth can Mop me. " "From what -m.jkinti' a fool of your- selfV Kauie. "There iroes ; i. man who awoke one morning to lind himself faniou- . * ' "You don't say . - > : What d'nl he do. write a great , poem , orink a collier , " or 4rXo ; he's a d ntiM. and once filled ihe teeth of the victim of a murder ' ' my > tr-ry. Sorry Stic Spoke. 'Atow - . > Yonnir ll ! ! ) : : u. ' n twlio has a very oii'n'ioi : uf liim olf. and ba jusr been iiurodui-cfh i rhink J've met your uiidf , Mr. Eriio-c l ro\vn. at doir .shows V" Mis. * Brown- . yes. uiu-lo will ire to do. : ; } uns.in l niec-U UJL- ! -rum- } : . Ditiu't Climb. " 1'Id you climb ilnAlpV" asked the tr woman. 'No. " : ins\vpj-i d Mr . Cumrox. "we mean : 10. ! > ui we couldn't iret arcom- modai ! . > ! > < -inywhtTf except on the second end floor of : i iioii-1 iliat liad no eleva tor. v < j wevi : : i ri ht away. ' ' Wash ington Star. He Couldn't Understand It. ' 1'a , " : iid the Alderman's little son. "is there any truth in the -lory th.ic IJeorie Washington never told a lie ? " "Yes. I lyuess there i . * ' was the reply. "Well. " continued the embryo > taes- ! nian. " 1 don't < ee how he ever got hi.-i pull in politics. " TJiose .Lovinu ; Girls. lie < s I wish that yotint ? Softleiirh wouldn't stare at me so every time Ave meet. It's dreadfully embarras.sinir. Xell Yes. poor fellow ! Jle never did have mufli sense. Wli3 fie Worries. y \ \ "Mr < . I Mitts has mysteriously disap peared. I lev husband is breaking down under the strain of anxiety. * ' "Doe * ; he fear that she'll never come backV" "Xo. he's afraid she will. " Now York World. Why She Left. Ve" . we lo l that jrood jrirl that 1 told you about. " "What was the trouble ? " "Why , she loft the water niuiiinix in the bathtub and it leaked llirousrh and slip eaujrht cold. She said she wouldn't stay in a house where they didn't have wsiter-tiiUit floors. " Cleveland Plain- dealer. A Crncl Awakening. ] \IIss Lovey Ah. no. Harry , it can never he. .lack locked that bracelet on forever and kept the key. Hazard If you want to net out of it -ay so. Every fellow in the cla < s nave a iriri one and our keys are all alike. Jewelers' "Weekly. An Kx.trcmc Case. "Clarendon Ia\vdlerN - , he most hope Ie < sly lazy man 1 ever know. " "Doe.sifr he do anything at all ? " "Do anything ? lie doesn't even blame his ii.-irents Tor not brin.uintr hiiu up differently. " Not Internally Affected. "I like to meet those Ions-haired lit erary men/ ' "Why ? " "They always have more sense than you exjieet to lind after looking at them. " Jest Ter Tiuk. \ ( / : P V t ' h mS i ) \SK M > f\ Sf\ \ * / > "Say. Mug -y. jest ter link we iiMei be er kid like dat ! " "Cee whix ! But I'm ulad I've 0111- rowedit- ! r.rowninp-Kiiii.s : Monthly. Quite Tlicatt-ical. "You might have known you could not win with a play called 'The Katy did. ' " < aid the rural uncle. " \ \VhyV" ked the nephew , ihe man ager. wlio was -tayin-r on the farm for the Dimmer. "l\aiydid' uro sign of fro < t. " and the old man chuckled to think how well lie was up in theatrical term * . Indianapolis - apolis .fournal. Shows the KH'ects. " 'l'in re i : i theory. Marie that we aix mentally iiitiuenced by furniture. ' ' "Is that so. Theodore ? AY ell. you had belter ( | iiit Bleeping in thai brass bed- < tea < l. " Her He I have never done anything in my life that I'm sorry for. She \ \ ell. why don't you do ome- ihinu : Mime 'lay and run the risk of lie. ing MMTV or irlad of it ? His lie I'n'ess you marry me I * h go 10 the Klondike. She Then * ! Papa said you were a mere fortune-hunter and now you've proved it. TWodern Transmit ! ration. "Oftenheii 1 look at you. " h" said to the beautiful woman whom ho had met in North Dakota , "it seems as if [ must have known you in > ome former state. " "NYell. that isifr very wonderful. " she replied. "You used to know me in two former States- when I was mar ried and living in Xew .ler ey. Tom. don't you remember Nell ( iiddington ? " Then it all came back 'o him. and ht confessed that he had gone out there foi- the same purpose. A One- Sided Attain. "You rind Ilagliy are dear friend- , ' ' ' aren't you ? " \YeI ! . lie lin- been dear to me. bur I h've : never COM ] | jni anything. " ' Discernment. "Is Mr < . Swagger iniellectual ? " "Yery ; she asked UK- for my dress maker's address the tirst time she called. " Still Worse. "It's just as folks said it would b < le deserted her last v/eek. ' ' "Left her without a pang , I suppose. "Worse than than. lie left her witl > ut a penny. " Cleveland Plaindealei LOW RATES TO THE SOUTH. L Splendid Opportunity to Visi Southern Points at Small Cost. On Tuesday , Doc. (5 , aud Tuesday , Dc < 0 , a popular low-rate excursion will b un from Chicago to the Soutb via Ch ago and Eastern Illinois Railroad. O hose days that company will sell bet ne-way and round-trip first-class ticket t greatly reduced rates. One-way ticket rill be for continuous passage ; on rount rip tickets stop-over will be allowed o oing trip at points in the South. Round rip tickets will be peed twenty-one day ; 'he Chicago and Eastern Illinois Rai oad has two daily through trains whic pave Dearborn station , Chicago , for a oints beyond the Ohio river. Both train arry through first-class coaches , sleepin ars and have dining cars serving meal ut of Chicago. This is the shortest route o the South , and the time made by it rains is the quickest. For detailed infoi nation , inquire of any ticket agent or ad ross CharU-s L. Stono. General Passen or and Ticket Agent C. & E. I. K. R "hicago. A large part of Cuba is occupied b : mpenetrable forests , not more than K > er cent , of the island being under cul .ivation. How's This ! "We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for an ase of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall' latarrh Cure. F. J. CII IJXKr & CO. . Props. . Toledo , f Wo the undersigned have known F. J. Cheno or the last ir years , and believe him perfectl onorable in all business transactions and finar ially able to carry out any obligation made b licit-firm. VEST &TKUAX. Wholesale Druggists , Toledo , ( VALUING. KIXXAX & MAUVIX , vriiolesal > rngjisK Toledo. O. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally , actin irectly upon the blood aud mucous surfaces c lie system. Price 75c nor bottle. Sold by a Druggists. Testimonials free. The population of Palestine is in reusing rapidly. Ten years ago then rere only lo.OOO residents in Jaffa ; to ay there are nearly GO.OOO. Delay Makes It Harder. Mis-steps have made the wors praius , but it is no mis-step to use Si acobs Oil. It makes a cure by strengtl ning , soothing and conquering th > ain. Every hour's delay makes J tarder to cure. In the Bank of England there ar liver bars that have lain there un ouched for 200 years. To Cure a Cold in One Day \ilce Laxative Brome Quinine Tablets. Al rugcists refund the money if it fails to cure 5cC The genuine has L. B Q. on each tablel The longest span of telegraph win n the world is in India , over the rive Cistna. It is over G,000 feet in length For complete list of prizes , given fr © o usecs of Diamond "C" Soap , \vrib 3udahy Packing Co.South Omaba Net If you lend a man grass seed he' ! ure to come around later and borrov our lawnmower. miiiiiiimmmiiMiKimm : ; ! > ! 'rT'wrirmiiiiWititimiwi ! egefeblePieparatioiiforAs- siniilating IteTood andBegula- ting th&StoiQfldis andBowels of PromofesTHgestionCiieeiful- ness andEestContalns neither ! NOT OTIC. | Apofectfiemedy for Constipa tion , Sour Stomach.Diarrhoea , Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- ness and LOSS OF SlEEE "EacSinuIe Signature oE EXACT WRAPFEB. * ' Many persons have their good day and their bad day. Others are about half sick all the time. They have headache , backache , ' and are restless and nervous. ' Food does not taste good , and the digestion is poor ; the skin is dry and sallow and disSgured with pimples or eruptions ; sleep brings no rest and work is a burden. 4 What is the cause of al ! this ? Impure blood. And the remedy ? It clears out the channels through which poisons are carried from the body. When all impurities are removed from the blood nature takes right hold and completes the cure. If there is constipation , take Ayer's Pills. They awaken the drowsy action of the lirer ; they cure biliousness. Writa to QUF We have the exclusive services of gome of the most eminent physic-tens ( n the United States. Wrlto freely all the particulars In your case You will re ceive a prompt reply. * itliout cost Address , > R. J. I AVER. Loxrell , Maaa. Price 50 cents of all drcggists or K. P. Hall & Co. , Nashua. N. II. In some parts of Norway corn Is still used as a substitute for coin. I believe my prompt use of Piao'a Cure prevented quick consumption. Mrs. Lu cy Wallace , Marquette. Kan. , Dec. 12. ' 95. If a girl's father objects to a young man's suit , he should change tailors For Infants and Children. Bears the Signat of THE CENTAUR COMPANY. NEW YORK CITY. "EAST , WEST , HOME"IS BEST , " IF KEPT CLEAN WITH SAPOLIO Get Your Pension Write Cast. OTA2EELL , PcsrisnAsent.Wi'.hisztcn , D.C. 0 E T rUTsccured or 0 = 267 * " > " J6tarc3. Search free ( A I Lit I Colamer&Co.4FSt.\VashingtonD.C ! UUHtJ ) WHtHt ALL ELSE FAILS. Beat Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Dso In time. Sold by druggists. & \J * N 49-98 MENTION THIS PAPER wam TO IDTIXTTUK. CURE YOURSELF ? Use Bif ( 6 for unnatural diicnarg st inflammationi. Qatrinucd irritation ! or ulcerationi t u uia of muconi membranei. PnTeau contmjion. Painless , and not aitnn- HEEVASSCHEMICAtCo. gent or poisonous. ( .CIHCINNATI.O. . 1 ornt in plain tTi'apper. br expmi , prepaid , for $1.00. or3 bott > i , S3.75 Circular tant on request.