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KHMnUMt2Etlftl5S8SQtfyg
i -
OLD FOLK
ill I dont h sorrowful darling
-And dont be sorrowful pray
Taking the year together iny dear
There isnt more night than day
Tis rainy weather my darling
Times wares they heavily run
But taking the year together my dear
There arent more clouds than sun
We are old folks now my darling
Our heads are growing gray
find taking the year together my dear
You will always Gnd the May
We have had one May my darling
And our roses long ago
And the time of the year is coming my
dear
For the silent night and snow
And God is God my darling
Of night as well as day
And we feci and know that we can go
Wherever He leads the way
Aye God of the night my darling
Of the night of death so grim
The gate that leads out of life good wife
Is the gate that leads to Him
AN AIMLESS LIFE
A
NDREW FRENCH was one of
those mortals who are so un
fortunate as not to be dependent
upon their own efforts for support
Having graduated at college lie
passed two years abroad and returned
to his native land uncertain whether
he would be a physician a lawyer or
a minister of the gospel for either of
wlii eh vocations lie deemed himself
equally adapted For business he
had no inclination
As he lazily reclined in an easy chair
smoking a fragrant cigar his eye fell
upon the following ad in a paper of
that days issue which he had been
reading
Wanted Intelligent young man of
pleasing address to canvass for the
sale of a domestic article on commis
sion References required but experi
ence unnecessary Call upon or ad
dress Brown Co 15 street
For a few moments he remained si
lent and then muttered
I am not destitute of intelligence
and think that I can be pleasing in my
address smiling as he spoke I won
der if it would uot be advisable for me
to confer with Brown Co
He rose from his seat started from
the house and wended his way to 15
street where he learned that the
article was a kerosene lamp appli
ance which increased the volume of
light at the same time that it decreased
the quantity of oil consumed
J He easily indeed greatly to the sat
isfaction of Brown Co when they
had acquainted themselves with his an
tecedentssecured a situation as can
vasser and the next day left the city
on his bicycle
The first place which he worked
was a thriving village where his sales
were few and despite his uniform
courtesy he was subjected to the re
pulsive treatment which agents are
wont to receive His next venture was
in a rural district where the houses
were far apart and he wheeled
many miles without being allowed to
even show what he wished to dispose
of as he was usually confronted at the
door by some one who said We are
not prepared to purchase anything of
the kind to day or similarly
I declare I pity the poor fellows
whose bread and butter depend upon
work like this he frequently remark
ed to himself laughingly
Quite late one showery afternoon he
reached a hamlet where there was no
hotel but he finally secured entertain
ment in a private family
As he sat on the veranda of the house
where he was temporarily domiciled
the first evening of his stay in the
place the tones of some one singing to
the accompaniment of a piano were
audible and addressing his host
Thomas Marsh by name with whom
he had been conversing he asked
Who is possessed of such a wonder
fully fineToice
It is the daughter of a man who
lives in that house Mr Marsh replied
indicating with his linger the house
nearest his own who is fitting her
self to teach music
I should think her already fitted to
teach it vocal music at least French
observed
For a ft- minutes he sat without
-uttering a rd and then he inquired
Are you willing to go with me a lit
tle nearer her house I wish to hear
her more distinctly and were both of
us seen by any member of the family
I should not be deemed so impertinent
as otherwise I might
I will conduct you into the room
where she is
Will she not be offended if we go
there
She is not the kind of girl that is so
easily offended
Ten minutes later French had been
formally introduced to Miss Stella
Reid by Mr Marsh who said
Mr French heard you singing from
my veranda and desired to hear you at
a less distance so I invited him over
here
Thats it she rejoined a flush suf
fusing her countenance
Now please to favor us with one of
your best selections Mr Marsh re
marked as he and French seated them
selves
Without a word of objection she
pjayed and sang several pieces for
which her visitors complimented her
Do you sing or play Mr French
she inquired
A very little of both was the re
ply
It will be no more than fair for you
to take my place at the instrument
she observed leaving the piano stool
I make no claims to musical ability
but will reciprocate your kindness as
well as I can
Taking the vacated stool lie played a
fantasia so skillfully that she nervous
ly said
I believe you are a professional
I assure you that I am not ha re
joined
Now you must sing she said
In a mellow tenor he sang a selection
from Mendelssohn so pathetically that
tears filled the eyes of his hearers four
in number as his unknown voice had
drawn her parents into the room
You may make no claims to mus
ical ability but it is yours Mr Marsh
tremulously observed and having it
I do not understand how you came to
be selling
Sh fell from Frenchs lips and the
sentence was not completed
He rose from thesto and was in
troduced to Mr and Mrs Reid
How long shall you remain in the
place Mr French Mr Reid in
quired
IT nntinA tin - a4 1 19 - Jl
x louuui ay cjLiuy was me an
swer
While you are here I hope you will
come in to sing and play as often aa
you can fell from Mr Reids lips
You must Mr French the daugh
ter enjoined in an earnest tone
Thank you I shall be pleased to do
so he replied
Soon after he and his host left the
house and on their way back to the
latters home he explained how ho
chanced to be following his present vo
cation causing Mr Marsh to laughing
ly exclaim
Well I declare
After breakfast the next morning he
said to Mr Marsh
I should like to remain here two or
three weeks can you conveniently ac
commodate me for that length of
time
As well as not was the cordiaj
reply
Thank you very much
For two yes nearly six weeks ha
was a member of Mr Marshs house
hold during which he discontinued his
canvassing and passed most of the time
with Stella as he soon came to ad
dress her while he to her became An
drew
They sang she to him he to her or
together they played for each other
or duets often having quite an audi
ence They rode rambled read to
gether until what
She was acquainted with his ante
cedents and had been urgently en
treated to share his future with him
Responding to this entreaty she said
If there is anything which I have
always held in contempt it is an aimless
life such as has confessedly been
yours I think that my affection for
you is as strong as yours is for me As
soon as you are independent of your
fathers assistance and have some
visible means of support I shall not
hesitate to say yes
Within three months x thereafter he
had secured a situation as a teacher on
a liberal salary Then in her home at
her request with the hearty consent of
her parents they were quietly married
After the ceremony grasping him
by the hand Mr Marsh said
It has turned out exactly as I
thought it would Andrew when you
two first met in this room The News
man
QUEENS OF EGYPT
Females Who Ruled Over That Coun
try in Ancient Times
Women always stood on a level with
men in ancient Egypt unlike the cus
tom of other eastern countries They
were allowed to rule as queens as early
as the second dynasty Their palaces
were of bricks adorned with gorgeous
ly painted walls rich carpets rugs of
fur ivory and ebony chairs and couch
es Till the end of the eighteenth dy
nasty there was little change in fem
inine attire which consisted of a flne
and often transparent linen garment
extending from shoulder to ankle sup
ported by straps over the shoulders
Colored robes were notf requently worn
gay plumage was left to the men
Women contented themselves with
blackening their eye brows letting
their hair down and decking themselves
with innumerable rings chains and
bracelets
To one of these ancient queens there
is attached a Cinderella like story
Nitocris is spoken of as rosy cheeked
and flaxen haired and was doubtless
not a pure Egyptian The story goes
the king found on the sands of the Nile
a tiny sandal and sought the maiden to
whom it belonged and made her his
wife To her is attributed the build
ing or improvement of the third pyra
mid in which she is said to have been
buried She invited the murderers of
her brother to a feast In a chamber be
low the level of the ground caused the
waters of the Nile to be let in on them
and then smothered herself with ashes
an unpleasant method of committing
suicide
The greatest feminine ruler of Egypt
ever know was Hatasu She had a
masuline brain a strong grasp of af
fairs and a keen intellect yet her
statue shows a smiling pretty face
well formed lips and dimpled chin She
built temple and statues and sent out
commercial expenditions and exploring
parties She wore male attire put on
ornaments and jewels which belonged
to kings only and in fact was often
spoken of as the king
Of course Cleopatra stands out above
all the numerous queens who ruled
Egypt laughed at it and created trou
ble and happiness at will from the dim
ages of mythology down to the Roman
period
The Kaisers American Friend
In spite of Emperor Williams dislike
of America he has taken a great liking
to the naval attache of the United
States Embassy at Berlin Lieutenant
Niblack He frequently invites him to
the nalace and they discuss naval mati
ters with great informality
Some men would rather be right than
be President but there are others who
never mate an effortto be either
HE USES ft KNIFE NOW
Hubby Caucht on to the Little Game
His Wife Played on Him
George G Boniface has not been feel
fng in the best of health lately and his
wife has attributed it to excessive
smoking
The actor being particularly fond of
good cigars denied this vehemently
and vowed with mental reservations
that he only smoked three cigars a day
Not being able to prove to the contrary
his wife like a wise woman said
nothing Subsequent events however
proved that this did not cause her to
cease thinking
Last week the comedian had a birth
day and his wife presented him with a
watch charm in the shape of a cigar
cutter It was a cute little thing and
to prove his appreciation of the gift
he used it vigorously the first day The
next morning the wife asked
How many cigars did you smoke
yesterday
Three was the reply
Thirteen you mean was the re
joinder
There was something in the tone of
his better half which caused the actor
to think he had better temporize and
so he said
Well as yesterday was my birthday
perhaps I did exceed my allowance by
one or two but I am certain I did not
smoke thirteen
Oh but you did no more and no
less I know it and can prove if
How
Thats my secret And now promise
me that you will limit yourself to three
to day
Of course he promised again with
mental reservations and then went in
to the woodshed to think it over
Recalling the events of the previous
day he found that thirteen was about
the right number and it didnt take
him long to connect his new charm
with his wifes knowledge A close
examination of the innocent looking
little thing proved that it was a regis
ter as well as a cutter
And now dove colored peace broods
over the comedians household and a
loving wife trusts her husband as im
plicitly as of yore
The charm registers three every day
ne cuts the others with his knife
About Wedding nines
English women didnt always wear a
plain gold circlet for a wedding ring
At one time the custom was for the
ring to cost as much as the bridegroom
could afford to pay Rings of bone and
hard wood have bden used an ivory
wedding ring was recently found on
the finger of an Egyptian mummy it
is in the shape of two clasped hands
An iron ring with the design of a hand
closing over a heart was discovered on
the skeleton finger of a Roman lady
dug up in Pompeii
In France wedding rings used to be
made of three or more links of quaint
design and in Germany at the same
time they were engraved with queer
Astrological characters Roman Cath
olic peoples particularly Italians had
a fashion of embedding in the ring a
fragment of some relic such as a mor
sel of the true cross The Greek church
uses two rings one of gold and one of
silver In Spain wedding rings made
of the hoofs of asses are supposed to
be possessed of peculiar virtue and in
sure their wearers against epilepsy
Fashion has determined not only the
style of the wedding ring but the finger
on which it shall be worn and so cap
riciously has custom altered that every
single finger including the thumb has
been used in turn Often in portraits
of the time of Elizabeth rings may
have been seen on the thumbs- of mar
ried ladies
In many parts of Great Britain it is
still supposed that a marriage- without
a ring is not binding and when the
gold hoop has been lost or forgotten
such substitutes as the church key a
curtain ring even a ring cut from the
finger of the brides glove have been
used Boston Traveler
Bors of War
For ten years every military com
pany in Germany has included its pack
of dogs which are in charge of a petty
officer who is excused from all duties
iu the afternoon that he may train the
animals their work The short
haired German pointer poodle and
shepherd dogs are employed and they
are taught to carry messages or ammu
nition hunt up the dead and to give
signals First the dog learns to stand
in line to obey attention to bark at
command to guard any article and to
go in search of lost belongings
The sender of an army message puts
a dispatch a card is used in the train
ingin a leather pocket attached to the
dogs neck and upon the dogs arriving
at his destination the receiver takes the
caid out The dog learns the meaning
and the necessity of this
As soon as a battle begins the officer
in charge of the regimental dogs stands
near the ammunition wagon Each
dog is loaded with one hundred and fif
ty cartridges in a double saddlebag and
sent to the fighting soldiers After hav
ing the cartridges removed he trots
back Each dog seems to know what
company he belongs to -for he will
never allow any one except a member
of his own company to touch the caiv
tridges
Brandy from Plants
A French ohomist has discovered a
process whereby wine and even bran
dy can be made from the leaves of
glaiits He places for instance the
leaves of the apple tree in water con
taining 15 per cent of sugar then he
adds yeast The whole is then left to
ferment A beverage tasting and smell
ing strongly of wine is obtained from
which genuine cognac brandy can bo
distilled
Some mens only bad habit is boast
ing of their good habits
OUR BUDGET OF FUN
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND
INGS HERE AND THERE
No It wasnt any photograph
was a bottle of malaria medicine
Bntton for Weary Waggles
DO-
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Sayings
and Doings that Axe Odd Curious and
Laughable The Weeks Humor
His cleepy Hearers
Mrs Benham I couldnt hear what
the minister said this morning that
made all of the people smile W7hat
was it
Benham Instead of giving out his
text he said The usual nap will now
be taken
The Governing Factor
He You say the widows grief was
terrible and yet you think it wont be
long until she marries again
She It cant be long She looked so
lovely i
Just the Samr
Dont you want to grow up to be a
man
Whats the use All the other boys
will be growed up too and itll be just
as hard to lick em as tis now
Sensible Girl
Yes said the soldier when we
parted she gave me a token of her re
gard I put it in my pocket and it was
the means of saving my life
I see was the response Its the
old story You carried her photograph
next your heart and it caused the bullet
to deflect
It
New York Telegram
Spanish Flass
I suppose remarked Farmer Corn
tossel that when Christopher Colum
bus landed in this hemisphere one of
the first things he did was to plant the
Spanish flag
I should say that ud seem the reg
Iar thing to do
Well speakin perfessionally I
should say that he managed to raise
one of the poorest crops ever known
Washington Star
Illusions
My illusions said she are- all
gone
Why he asked with that brutality
only manifested by a man who has
promised to love and cherish donft
you go to the drugstore and get some
more Indianapolis Journal
Thankful for That
First Clubman As you know old
fellow there are no marriages in
heaven
Second Clubman Then we wont
miss our club so much after all will
we New York Evening Journal
As a Bracer
Maud Poor Hankinson Mame Gar
linghorn threw him over the other day
but he makes a brave attempt to hold
his head up
Irene Is that why hes wearing that
four inch collar Chicago News
His Motive
Watts I dont believe you ever miss
an amateur performance
Potts Of course I dont Sitting
through amateur performances- make
me enjoy professional work so much
more Indianapolis Journal
The Fence of His Country
Lady So you received that wound in
defense of your country Here- is a
dime for you
Tramp Tanks lady De fence I got
hurted in wuz a barb wire one jest be
low here
Anxious to Please
Mick Boots at the Ballyragg Ho
tel knocking at visitors door at 4 a m
Fwhat toime wud ye wish to be call
ed this morrnun sorr Mail and Ex
press
Missionary Work
We are going to have a harder job
than conquering Cuba
Whats that
Civilizing it Detroit Fre Press
The Bad Boy
I have noticed that it Is the bad boy
who seems to get along most rapidly in
school
Yes the teachers promote them to
get rid of them Indianapolis Journal
War News
Mrs Wallace What do they want to
cut all those cables for
Mr Wallace Dont you understand
As soon as the cables that hold the
island are cut it can be towed over
against the United States and fastened
on to Florida Cincinnati Enquirer
Immune
i -
Old Mrs Hankypank Why aint you
the same tramp gave one of my dar
ters cooking school pies to last year
Lionel Montmorency Yesm but
Lord bless you it didnt hurt me Im
an immune New York World
Very Bald
Remember my dear said the visiting-pastor
that even the hairs of youi
head are numbered
Nunkie Wills are replied the little
one I tan tount em Philadelphia
North American
The Worms Chance
Mrs Enpeck The philosophers tell us
that blessings often come to us in dis
guise
Mr Enpeck with a sudden show of
spirit Say Maria when are you go
ing to unmask Cleveland Leader
The Secret Out
Now what asked the interviewer
led you to come out of Santiago har
bor
We were drawn out said the Span
iard by the smell of roast beef on the
Brooklyn Philadelphia North Amer
ican
Worth Trying
Dick Dashington I wish I knew
something about law
His Friend Want to break a will
Dick Dashington Not that but I
would like to know if I could get an
injupciion preventing old Bondclips
from interfering with my attentions
to his daughter Puck
Long and Short of It
The war didnt last long
How could it when Spain was
short Pniladelplna North Ameri
can
He Was Convinced
Mrs Hayricks It says here in the
paper Silas that this war has served
to bring the people of our country clos
er together Do you think theres any
truth in it
Mr Hayricks Yes When I looked
into the parlor last night Lieutenant
Striplings and our Annie was settin a
good deal closer together than I have
ever seen em before he went away-
Chicago News
A Peculiar Proposal
1
She I am all alone in- the world 1
have neither father nor motherr
He No mother Oh will you be
mine Heitere Welt
A Warlike Kird
Mr Schenley Park I wish Audubon
were alive now
Mrs Schenley Park Why
Mr Schenely Park He could classify
and describe the military round robin
Pittsburg Telegraph
Fate
The die is casi ne hissed
No wonder he was sore He had or
dered it drop forged Cincinnati En
quirer
Explained
Friend To be frank with you I cant
see how Mrs Hardcash happened to
consent to your marriage with hei
daughter
Mr Slimpurse She said I was the
only young man who showed any con
sideration for a mothers feelings You
see when the other fellows took her
daughter out riding they seldom got her
back until after dark but when I took
her I always brought her home prompt
ly in an hour
Friend Humph How was that
Mr Slimpurse The other fellows had
their own rigs I hired- mine -New
York Weekly
As Revised
Teacher Tommy into how many
classes is the human race divided
Tommy Five
Teacher What are they
Tommy Enlightened civilized half-
civilized savage and SpaniardsChl
cajfo News
SALUTES ON A WAR SHIP
How the Courtesies of the Sea Aro
I xiended to Officials
No salute by ships of war exceeds
twenty one guns and no salute is ever
fired except between sunrise and sun
set when the national colors must bo
displayed but it is also usual not to
fire salutes before S a m Whenever
the President is embarked in a ship of
war flying his flag all other United
States ships of war and naval stations
near which he passes fire the national
salute
Side boys are detailed usually from
the apprentice boys They stand each
side of the gangway in line and salute
by touching their caps as the visiting
officials come on board and leave a
ship by the starboard gangway War
rant officers naval cadets and enlisted
men use the port gangway
After nightfall all boats coming close
to the ship are hailed by the marine
sentry or by the quartermaster with
the words Boat ahoy A flag officer
answers Flog a commanding officer
answers the name of his ship other
commissioned officers answer Aye
aye warrant officers and naval cadets
answer No no while enlisted mem
answer Hello
Every officer and man on reaching
the upper deck saluics the national
flag and this salute is returned by the
officer of the watch at hand
Flag officers are addressed by their
titles of admiral or commodore captain
and commanding officers are called
Mr and not by their official titles
though in addressing them in writing
these titles are always used The sur
geons however are usually called
doctor and paymasters of any grade
paymaster
Boat salutes are given by tossing
oars which means holding them up
right in the air with the blades fore and
aft or by lying on oars by which is
meant holding the oars horizontal as
they rest in the rowlocks Coxwains
of boats stand and salute when passing
boats containing officers All officers
and men whether in uniform or not
meeting a senior afloat or ashore sa
lute by touching the cap
When a ship of the navy enters a
port of any nation where there is a
fort or battery or where a ship of war
of that nation may be lying she shall
fire a salute of twenty one guns pro
vided the captain is satisfied that the
salute will be returned The flag of
the nation saluted will be displayed at
the main during the salute
National airs of foreign states having
war vessels in company with our own
wiill be played by our bands as a com
pliment St Nicholas
Electrici y Increuacs Use of Gas
It has been the experience in Belgium
that the use of electricity in lighting
has increased the use of gas Both gas
and electric light men have made more
money In the kings palace in Brus
sels 7500 electric lights have been put
in In the city lighting system are 47
391 lamps
A NATION OF DYSPEPTICS
From the Mountaineer Walhalla iK Dakota
The remorse of a guilty stomach is
what a large majority of the people are
suffering with to day Dyspepsia is t
characteristic American disease and it
is frequently stated that we are a nation
f dyspeptics
Improper food hurried eating mental
worry exhaustion any of these pro
duces a lack of vitality in the system byj
causing the blood to lose its life-sustaining
elements The blood is the vital ele
ment in our lives and should be carefully
nurtured Restore the blood to its proper
condition and dyspepsia will vanish
For example in the county Pem
bina North Dakota a few miles- from
Walhalla resides Mr Earnest Snider a
man of sterling integrity whose veracity
cannot he doubted He says
The Doctors Disagreed
m1 became seriously ill three years ago
lhe doctor gave me medicine for
pestion but 1 continued to become worsen
1 had several physicians at intervals who
gave me some relief but nothing
I read in the newspapers articles re-
rrdmu he wroerful euro Hve powers oi
Dr Williams Pink Pills icr Pale Peo
ple and finally concluded to try the pills
I purchased six boxes This was five
months ago Tne first box gave- me much
roller I continued taking the pills and
after using four boxes was cured
Royal Hair
A very unique collection of royal hah
is the latest temptation which is being
placed in the way of the curiosity hun
ter in London A few hairs from the
head and beard of Edward TV whose
locks it will be remembered figured
long since in the same auction room
taken from the vault on March 14
1789 and specimens of the hair of
Napoleon of Princess Charlotte of
Wales and of George in together
with a small portion of the cerecloth of
King William IY are among the at
tractions
Case of Lone Standing
Mrs Ffflanthrop lf y0u are a suf
ferer from nervous
prostration as you
ay you are why dont you do some
thing for it
Tuffold Knutfc I do maam Im
i takm wot they call the rest cure
Chicago Tribune
A liitils Chilly
If the earth were not enveloped with
ltmosphere the temperature on the sm
face would be about 330 degrees behyw
tero Fahrenheit v
V
A
T
X
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