-T
Signature
TORIA
For Infants and Children
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears
of LiayZC
SSfe
TL xvjwi uriBr Ml
HiwtSi
TflE EXCELLENCE OF SYSUP OF FIQS
is due not only to the originality and
simplicity of the combination but also
to the care and skill with which it is
manufactured by scientific processes
known to the Caiifoknia Fig Syrup
Co only and we wish to impress upon
all the importance of purchasing the
true and original remedy As the
genuine Syrup of Figs is manufactured
by the Califohxia Fig Svbup Co
only a knowledge of that fact will
assist one in avoiding the worthless
imitations manufactured by other par
ties The high standing of the Cali
fornia Fig Syihi Co with the medi
cal profession and the satisfaction
which the genuine Syrup of Figs has
given to millions of families makes
the name of the Company a guaranty
of the excellence of its remedy It is
far in advance of all other laxatives
as it acts on the kidneys liver and
bowels without irritating or weaken
ing them and it does not gripe nor
nauseate In order to get its beneficial
effects please remember the name of
the Company
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO
SAX FUAXCISCO Cat
LOUISVILLE Ky NEW VOKK X V
Handwriting of a Famous Queen
Queen Elizabeth wrote often to Cath
erine De Mcdieis and her sons Eliza
beths signature was always majestic
and so to speak in full dress But
when she was on some crooked scheme
intent the body of the letter was the
merest shorthand It must have been
trying to read her letters They had
to be read to be answered But they
generally beat about the bush and
were involved unless she was in a pas
sion Then she went straight and
swift to the point and the handwriting
was as clear as her words
Nerves Out of Tune
Just as the strings of a musical
i meat get out of tune through lack of care
and break out into ear torturing discords
when touched so the human nerves get
out of tune and make everybody misera
ble that comes in contact with them Ev
ery tobacco users nerves are out of tune
more or less and the real tobacco slaves
nerves are relaxed to the utmost
is the tuning key which tightens the
nerves makes them respond quickly to
the emotions resulting in the happiness of
all guaranteed tobacco habit
cure makes weak men strong We ad
vise all tobacco users to take
Voice of Experience
Yes in refusing me she said she
never intended to marry
Then your ease is hopeless She is
engaged to somebody else Chicago
News
Shake Into Your Shoes
Allens Foot Ease a powder for the
feet It cures painful swollen smart
ing feet and instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions Its the great
est comfort discovery of the age Al
lens Foot Ease makes tight fitting or
new shoes feel easy It is a certain
cure for sweating callous and hot
tired nervous aching feet Try it to
day Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores By mail for 25c in stamps Trial
package FREE Address Allen S Olm
v sted Le Roy N Y
I hate a thing done by halves If it
be right do it boldly if it be wrong
leave it undono Cilpin
YOUNG AT SIXTY
Serene comfort and happiness in ad
vanced years are realized by compara
tively few women
Their hard lives their liability to se
rious troubles on account of their pecu
liar organism and their profound igno
rance concerning themselves all com
bine to shorten the period of usefulness
and fill their later 3ears with suffering
Mrs Pinkham has done much to make
women strong She has given advice
to many that has shown them how tc
guard against disease and retain vigor
ous health in old age From every cor
ner of the earth there is constantly com
ing the most convinciug statements
from women showing the efficacy of
Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable Com
pound in overcoming female ills Here
is a letter from Mrs J C Orms of 220
Horner St Johnstown Pa which is
earnest and straight to the point
Dear Mrs Pinkham I feel it my
duty to tell all suffering women that I
think jour remedies are wonderful I
had trouble with my head dizzy spells
and hot flashes Feet and hands were
cold was very nervous could not sleep
well had kidney trouble pain in
ovaries and congestion of the womb
Since taking your remedies I am better
every way My head trouble is all
gone have no pain in ovaries and am
cured of womb trouble I can eat and
sleep well and am gaining in flesh I
consider your medicine the best to be
Iiad for female troubles
The present Mrs Pinkhams experi
ence in treating female ills is nnparal
lellcd for years she worked side by
side with Mrs Lydia E Pinkham and
for sometime past has had sole charge
I
of the correspondence department of
lier great business treating by letter
as many as a nunarea tnousunu ailing
y tvomea during a single year
SUPPOSE WE SMILE
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
Vjrld Over Sayings that Are Cliecr
iSl to Old or Young Funny Selec
tions that Everybody Will Enjoy
Thorns va Tacks
I refuse to give you money with
which to purchase a wheel said the
stern parent You are a thorn in my
flesh
And you replied the disappointed
youth are a tack in my path
From Different Points of View
Walker Ive just been reading an ar
ticle on our coast defenses They seem
to be insufficient
Ryder Thats right I dont think
any cyclist should be allowed to coast
without a brake
Popular Song Illustrated
sfjyv - -- -
9fc
i itJlT V
feSxrS
jfibms
JL
MS
V i7
ys 1
i MLXAflixr 0 r PtrHi -- j jrFvja
J
jsisfO
WY m1
SHE IK J ASST
m k V
Tho girl I left behind me Ex
change
Cause of the Trouble
Jaggs Whats good for insomnia
doctor
Doctor now long have you been
troubled with it
Jaggs Oh I havent got it at all bint
my wife has Sometimes she doesnt
get to sleep until 2 or 3 oclock in the
morning
Doctor Well Id advise you to try
going home earlier
A Leak Somewhere
Hixon Anything wrong down at the
pumping station ihis week
Dixon No not that I know of Why
Hixon Oh Ive noticed that the wa
ter we have been getting at our board
ing house for some time past seems to
be about half milk
Not in Their Class
The rirson My boy I trust you
have some good and noble aim in life
The Boy Why cert Do youse tink
Im one of deiu Spaniards
The Proof
Do you say that your husband is
weak minded Mrs Bosston
Very No matter what I tell him to
do he invariably goes and does the oth
er thing poor man Detroit Free
Press
No Answer Received
And was your prayer answered
asked a visitor of a North Carolina
darky who had told of praying for
rain
No sah said the African I specs
de cable was cut sah
How to Get Rid of It
I cant get it off my mind said Mrs
Stickler
But you can change your mind
suggested her husband Detroit Free
Press
The Proper Classification
Miles Hello Giles Is it a fact that
you have recently married
Giles I guess so Facts you know
are stubborn things
The Office Boys Romance
Mr Jenkins Ive got an uncle a
brother and two cousins in this war
I see youre fixing to get off to a
baseball game every time we hear ru
mors of a battle
r Modern Methods
Mrs Watts You folks are dreadfully
slow We are using individual com
munion cups at our church
Mrs Potts Slow are we Next
week we begin using capsules Indian
apolis Journal
The Cheerful Idiot
We fellows said the student board
er are thinking of getting up a little
cheap spread Is there anything any
one could suggest
Oleomargarine said the Cheerful
Idiot Indianapolis Journal
Forced Accotnplishmcnts
tfi
jifi
8 1 ill wr
A Ira
Benevolent Lady My good man why
dont you learn some trade
Weary Waggles Know fourteen al
ready
Benevolent Lady Why hows that
Weary Waggles Served fourteen
terms Detroit Free Press
A Real Patriot
Is Hudson patriotic
Is he Well I should say Why he
smokes nothing but Dewey cigars al
ways wears a Fitzhugh Lee hat and
he can read Remember the Maine
backward or forward just as you
please Philadelphia North Ameri
can
One Thine Needful
Mr Wabash Do you belong to thfc
Daughters of the Revolution MisS
Ohve
Miss Olive of St Louis Not yet
but pas going to buy me a wheel next
week
Similar but Different
Directory Canvasser What is your
first name Mr Peck
Mr Peck It was Claude before I
got married
Directory Canvasser Am I to under
stand that marriage altered your name
Mr Peck N no not exactly but I
spell it Clawed now
Unlimited Capacity
Jack Miss GHUlys heart seems to
have been modeled after a street car
Tom Why hows that
Jack Theres always room for one
more
Subsequent
Eronson My poor old grandmother
is dead aud her parrot died the next
da y
Dailey Very strange The poor bird
died of grief I suppose
Bronson No I killed it with a poker
Pearsons Weekly
Pnpa Is Thinkinjr Now
Wise Father No my son never put
off till to morrow what can be done to
day Remember that and the path
which leads to success will lie open be
fore you
Little Freddie All right Gimme a
quarter to go to the ball game this af
ternoon It might rain to morrow
Ready to Make the Facrifice
What has suddenly caused you to
decide to go to the war I thought you
said you couldnt afford to do it on ac
count of your business
My neighbors boy has bought an ac
cordion and is tearing to play March
ing Through Georgia on it
No Filthy Lucre There
Erassey has married a girl whose
father lias a clean million
The deuce he has Who is she
The daughter of old Renders tho
soap nniker
An Easy Choce
She Winch yould you rather have
wealth or the affection of the woman
you truly loved
Kc Wealth by all means Then I
could have the other on the side
The MiKhty Pen
Bulwer was dead wrong when he
wrote In the hands of men entirely
great the pen is mightier than the
sword
What makes you think so
Why its that way in the hands of
almost any old plug of a Spaniard
Unusual
First Summer Girl I became en
gaged to him the second time we met
Second Summer Girl Something ter
rible must have happened to cause
such a delay New York Evening
Journal
A Small Matter
r vflg
Doctor You say youve eaten noth
ing to disagree with you
Erastus No sah I ony ate free sof
crabs and two cups ob milk Dats all
Chicago Tribune
The Thorn
Dasherly So your wifes away Do
you miss her much
Flasherly Yes and the deuce of it is
a lot of other fellows are Miss ing
her too I understand
One Poets Wisdom
Quad Quillet makes a fair income
kvriting obituary verses I understand
Dash Is that so Then he has more
sense than I gave him credit for
Quad Why hows that
Dash Waits till he gets a man
where he cant kick before he begins
to write poetry about him
From Different Points of View
Bess Oh dear I suppose Im in foi
another month of bad luck
Nell Why Bess what makes you
think so
Bess I saw the new moon over mj
left shoulder last night
Nell Thats too bad Now I had the
good luck to see it over Jacks righi
shoulder and say isnt my engage
nient ring a beauty
Experiences
I do not believe that I have a true
friend in the world
So you have been trying to borrow
money too have you
Papa and Mamma Songs
Mamma And Iioav did my little pet
get to sleep last night without mamma
Little Pet Papa tried to sing to me
like you do and I hurried up an wenl
to sleep sos not to hear it Punch
Unabashed
By way of variety she deliberately
and openly yawned
You frightened me said he
Really
Er well I was more grieved than
frightened It looked as if I might
never see your face again Cincinnati
Enquirer
Something Worse than Srermons
Remember said the good man
that there are sermons in stones
Not in those that you run against
with your bike retorted the cynic and
the argument was necessarily at au
end
RECEIVE QUEER REQUESTS
Funny Experiences Related by the
Officials of the British Mnscrnn
An American collector has made a
singular application to the authorities
of the British museum He asks
Will you please get and send me a
piece of the ruins out of the great Lon
don fire which has lately occurred I
wish to put it into my curio cabinet
This is not the first time that re
quests of an equally humorous nature
have been received at the British mu
seum Sir Edward Maunde Thomp
son K 0 B the principal librarian re
cently told a story of a letter contain
ing numerous questions sent him by
a German gentlemen who in apologiz
ing for their inordinate number ex
plained that we Germans are a ques
tionable people
Another of the officials remembers
the advent of a man who wanted to
see the original Sanscrit and on be
ing interrogated added the original
Sanscrit what all the languages come
from On being shown a Sanscrit
manuscript he inquired Is this what
all the languages come from Well
not quite all but most of them was
the reply whereupon he ejaculated
Oh and walked away perfectly sat
isfied On one occasion a man asked at
the manuscript department to see the
roll of the law which Esdras found in
the temple He was promptly re
ferred to the keeper of the oriental
antiquities with what result is not
stated
There is also the anecdote of the in
quirer who asked an attendant whether
the roll of the Pentateuch exhibited un
der a glass case in one of tho galleiies
of the manuscript department was the
identical thing that Moses chucked
about As he spoke with a Scottish
accent it is still doubtful whether he
was intending a joke or not
But the most remarkable instance Of
the ignorance under which the nn
seum official suffers and over which
he makes merry is Perhaps that in
which a radical member of parliament
asked at the center desk in tiie leading-room
for a copy of the English con
stitution Conceiving that this im
portant abstraction had been grievous
ly infringed by a tory government he
came to examine it with a view to an
impeachment of the ministers of the
crown London Mail
CECIL RHODES BURIAL PLACE
In the Matoppo Hills of South Africa
Commands a Worlds View
While some of the newspapers have
ben busy of late in killing Mr Rhodes
we find from the Cape papers that Mr
Rhodes himself has selected his burial
place It is in the Matoppo hills in the
neighborhood of his farm that Mr
Rhodes desires in the fullness of time
to be buried in the solid rock A special
correspondent who calls the spot
Worlds View thus describes the
scenery
At length we came to a halt and were
led through the bushes up enormous
slopes of solid granite on to the roof of
a rocky eminence Here the worlds view
lay unfolded like a panorama before
our gladdened eyes There were many
traveled members in our party but not
one of them could say that he had ever
seen anything like it Here surely we
were gazing down upon one of natures
battlefields the discorded scene of some
tremendous convulsion in which Titan
ic forces had lifted the biggest boulders
the mind can conceive and tossed them
to and fro like pebbles As far as the
eye could travel stretched an ocean of
granite mountains extending range be
yond range to the horizon Few people
realize the immensity of the Matoppcs
or the beauty of the hillsides and val
leys where euphorbia mahogany and
mopana trees aud all sorts of tropw
bushes flourish in glorious coufusior
and certainly no one can have any con
ception of the awe inspiring grandetb
or the scenic splendor of this wondrous
natural panorama London Nevs
To Traders
Correspond with us before placing your
business for the Chicago markets else
jvvhere We are the Sioux City correspond
ents of F G LOGAN Chicago being
connected with that well known Board of
Trade House by private wire We refer
Vou to them or to any bank in this city as
to our commercial and financial standing
We are very often in receipt of valuable
information which we furnish our clients
by phone or wire at our own expense
For further information write A R T
DENT CO Commission Merchants
turner Fifth and Pierce streets Sioux
City Iowa Note While our Mr A R
T Dent was the founder and up to the
past spring the financier of the Dent
Grain Co of this city lie has no connec
tion now whatever with this latter con
cern
In Time of Peace Prepare for War
Customer I want my hair cut close
us you know how a regular army cut
understand
Barber Whats the matter now Do
you think of enlisting
Customer No but Im going to be
married Boston Courier
You Can
Get Tired
By working hard and then you can get
rested again But if you arettired all the
time it means that your blood is poor
You need to take Hoods Sarsaparilla the
creat cure for that tired feeling because
it is the great enricher and vitalizer of the
blood You will find appetite nerve
mental and digestive strength in
Hoods SarsaparilEa
Americas Greatest Medicine
Hoortst Pit cure imuspa indigestion 2V
UlNiVnKbilV of inuFKE DAMfc
NOTRE DAME INDIANA
Classics Tetters Science Law Civil Me
chanical anu Electrical l nglneering
Thorough Preparatory and Commercial
Courses Ecc eslastlca smdenU at special rates
Booms Free Junior or Sonlor Year Conciliate
ITfinrSCS St hl warrfs PiH for hnr imilor 1 9
Th 108th Term will open September Gth
1898 Catalojrue sent Free on application to
KEV A AIOKK1S3JEY C S C President
His Capacity for Head work
You wouldnt think to look at that
man that he was possessed of more
than average intelligence would you
Yet he is engaged in a business that re
quires constant headwork and hes
making a success of it too
You dont say He certainly doesnt
look as if he had any more brains than
the law allows Who is he
My barber
What Will Become of China
None can foresee the outcome of the
quarrel between foreign powers over the
division of China It is interesting to
watch the going to pieces of this race
Many people are also going to pieces be
cause of dyspepsia constipation and
stomach diseases Good health can be re
tained if we use Hostetters Stomach Bit
ters
Except the Honsc
It is a sin she said to win money
in gambling dens
I know he replied but whats the
use worrying over it Nobody ever
sins in that way
Wheat 40 Cents a Bushel
How to prow wheat with big profit at
40 cents and samples of Salzers lied Cross
SO Bushels per acre Winter Wheat Bye
Oats Clover etc with Farm Seed Cata
logue for 4 cents postage JOHN A SALi
ZER SEED CO La Crosse AVis C N U
Another Definition
Bobby Papa whats a pessimist
Papa A pessimist is a person who
cant enjoy his dinner to day because
he is afraid the coffee may be muddy
to morrow
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally Price 75 cents
New
It is claimed that a Philadelphia
alderman refused an offer of 5000 for
his vote
Which museum is he playing at this
week
Pisos Cure for Consumption has hcen
a godsend to me Win B McClellan
Chester Fla Sept 17 1S95
Too Willing
Mr Bacon Im all right dear if I
need anybody Ill sing out for help
Mrs Bacon Oh pray dont sing out
Youll frighten everybody away Yonk
ers Statesman
Mrs WInslows Soothino Srnnr for Children
teethinc solteus tlio Kinab reauces inflammation
allays pain euros wind colic cents a bottle
No one can disgrace us but ourselves
J G Holland
REQUIRHKOCOOKIHG
KEOWIU0WKWnAVDII0HH
KE3 HUAJIJ MD GUfFS SlfFfliD KCE
JSmflNBitsuMintw
CKE POUND OF THIS STARCH WILL CO
AS FAB AS A POUND AMD X HAir
OF ANY OTHER STABCH
wJCiTUBINGEnBR0SC9
GAM
-its
mm
m
i EiCSMl Me v
I I
J
4
4
r4
4
Are your nerves -weak
Cant you sleep well Pain
in your back Lsck energy
Appetite poor Digestion
bad Boils or pimples
These are sure signs of
poisoning
From what poisons
From poisons that are al
ways found in constipated
bowels
If the contents of the
bowels are not removed from
the body each day as nature
intended these poisonous
substances are sure to be
absorbed into the blood al
ways causing suffering and
frequently causing severe
disease
There is a common sense
cure
wnwj y tmw
They daily insure an easy
and natural movement of
the bowels
You will find thatthe use of
Mtf
with the pills will hasten
recovery It cleanses the
blood from all impurities and
is a great tonic to the nerves
Kfrfo ho Boclcr
Our Medical Dopartment has one
ot the most eminent physicians in
the United States Tell the docor
Just how you aro sutterlne You
will receive the be3t medical aavlco
rlthout coat Address
DR J C ATEH
Lowell Mass
A Beautiful
Present
4
Eww
FREE for a few months to all users of the
celebrated ELASTIC STARCH Flat Iron
Brand To induce you to try this brand of
starchso that you may find out for yourself
that all claims for its superiority and econ
omy are true the makers have had prepared
at great expense a series of four
LAQUES
exact reproductions of the 10000 originals by Muville -which will be given
you ABSOLUTELY FREE by your grocer on conditions named below
These Plaques are 40 inches in circumference are free of any suggestion of
advertising whatever and will ornament the most elegant apartment No
manufacturing concern ever before gave away such valuable presents to its
customers They are not for sale at any price and can be obtained only in
the manner specified The subjects are
American Wild Ducks American Pheasant
English Quail English Snipe
The birds are handsomely embossed and stand out natural as life Each
Plaque is bordered with a band of gold
ELASTIC STARCH
has been the standard for 25 years
TWENTY TWO MILLION
packages of this brand were sold
last year Thats how good it is
ASK YOUR DEALER
to show you the plaques and tell
you about Elastic Starch Accept
no substitute
Haw To Get Them
All pHrchasers of three 10 cent or
six 5 cent packages of Elastic Starch
Flat Iron Brand are entitled to re
ceive from their grocer one of theo
beautiful Game Plaques free The
plaques will not be Eent by mail
They can be obtained only from your
grocer
Every Grocer Keeps Elastic Starch
Do not delay This offer
is for a short time only
It Was Before the Day of
L
IrafP DM K 1 F
They Used to Say Womans
Work Is Never Done
Thomas Jeffersons Ten Rules
Never put off till to morrow what
you can do to day
Never trouble another for what you
can do yourself
Never spend your money before you
have it
Never buy what you do not want be
cause it is cbeap it will be dear to you
Pride costs us more than hunger
thirst and cold
We never repent of having eaten too
little
Nothing is troublesome that we do
willingly
How much pain the evils that never
happened have cost us
Take things always by their smooth
handle
When angry count ten before you
speak if very angry a hundred
Crnel Oppression
He There is an old saying that what
is enough for one will do for two
She I know it but papa says he will
cut off my allowance the moment I get
married
HE
FRAYT
BEST SCALES LEAST MONEY
JONES OF B1NGHAMTON N Y
CURE YOURSELF
1 discharges inflammations
to itnewrp r
jPrtxtnu coctipon panle and nnT nff
ATHeEvahsChEUIWlCo gent or poisonous
nMiat 1 noia or Itrazclstm
Or Sent in TlUin rrn
JlCO or 3 bottles 1275
iV urcnur ient on request
n31UI3
mmmiM jAJjkJ wm
- nTA
tjgfc Ga2 Your Pensioi
DOUBLE
QUICK I
Write Cast OPASBELL siiAs2it7raiirr 3C
S C N U
SEI
fl 98
t3
mgszmMfflzm
CURES WHESc ALL ELSE FAILS
Best Cough Symp Tastes Good Use
la time Sold or drnzsrists
