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MAKES COLUKS AND CUFFS STIFF AND H10E
AS WHEN FIRST BOUGHT NEW
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COPYRIGHTED
MsmiisroM
NERVE OF A BOLD DRUMMER
He Forced a Railroad to Haul Him in
a Private Car to Sioux Falls S I
His bold defiance of a railway corpo
ration procured M T McNeil the houor
of a special car recently from Fort
Dodge Iowa to Sioux Falls S D Mc
Neil is a Chicago traveling man A
few days ago he bought a ticket over
the Illinois Central from Chicago to
Sioux Falls and engaged a berth in a
sleeper for the entire trip At Fort
Dodge however it was decided to turn
the train around and run it back to Chi
cago a plan occasionally adopted when
travel is light This compels the Sioux
Falls passengers to rise early and
change cars McNeil was accordingly
aroused advised as to the situation
and peremptorily required to hurry on
liis clothes and leave the sleeper But
not he He would ride to Sioux Falls
In that sleeper he declared or go back
to Chicago with it And then let the
Illinois Central look out for a damage
suit The conductor offered to pay his
passengers hotel bill until another
sleeper arrived or do anything else in
reason to accommodate him The trav
eling man stuck for his rights and the
officials finally wired to headquarters
for instructions On orders received
from there the car was fhen carried
through to Sioux Falls with McNeil its
only occupant Kansas City Star
Soldiers American Song3
All the military authorities of Europe
are now paying great attention to sing
ing on the march The French army
lias of late permitted its soldiers to
sing while marching A little book oi
soldiers marching songs was published
In Loudon with Gen Wolseleys words
printed big on the cover to the effect
that men march better and arrive fresh
er when they sing than when the
dont Curiously enough most of these
songs are American words and all
best Bd Bop Booflar fl ct
icrwixook rps ana buu lncjaaea
a M rU4IICDIl C
a itm jiamua Koounx Co Camden is J
H
SsM ss I -I iftRf IT
a- o
ONE POUND OF THIS STARCH WILL GO
AS FAR AS A POUND AND A HALF
OF ANY OTHER STARCH
theb r Li i mmrrB orane ro
viuiiUDincrv dhujvt
KeokukJowa NewHavenConn
WAGON
A better Scale for
less money than has
ever been offered
Address
Jones o I Blngharatoa
siagiiamioQ s x
3111
msm
SBSBSBBm
twifm iii
MS
This starch is prepared on scientific principles by men who have bad years of practical
experience in fancy laundering It restores old linen and summer dresses to their
natural whiteness and imparts a beautiful and lasting finish It is the only starch
manufactured that is perfectly harmless containing neither arsenic alum or any
other substance injurious to linen and can bo used even for a baby pofrder
For sale by all wholesale and retail grocers
1ouliiee Starts a Fire
Fire insurance companies have all
sorts of experiences and their officers
can tell many curious stories One of
the queerest fires fell within the busi
ness of the Connecticut Fire Insuranco
Company of this city recently
A house was set on fire by a bathtub
and the tub was set on fire by a poultice
A mail in a Western city was suffering
from a bad cold and his wife at the
doctors orders prepared a poultice for
his chest When she started to put it
on it proved to be too hot Accordingly
she took it to the bathroom and set t
into the bathtub to cool This happened
to be a fine tub lined with celluloid
which served as a sort of enamel The
heat of the poultice started the celluloid
a going aud the burning tub set things
going generally The department was
called out and the house was well wet
down for which the company had to
pay This so far as is known is the
first instance on record where a bath
tub set a house on fire or where a
tice kindled a bathtub Hartford
rant
A Soloonkecpers Price Iiist
The handbill of prices recently issued
by a Missouri saloon keeper might b
of use in the public schools alcoholu
instruction across the river The lril
displays a skull and cross bones am
this list of prices is given Hobo corn
whisky 70 cents per gallon Kentucky
Lightning 70 cents Oscar Fresh 90
cents Oregon County Busthead 00
cents Moonshine 50 cents Pure Tar
antula Juice 40 cents Coroners Pride
o0 cents Undertakers Friend 30 cents
Persimmon Brand- 50 cents Gooseber
ry Brandy 50 cents Pure Extract Juni
per Berries 2G cents Embalming Fluid
20 cents
Here is a dealer who is sufficiently
frank He understands human nature
and knows that it is always seeking
peril St Louis Post Disyatch
MRS HNKHAM TALKS ABOUT CHANGE OE LIFE
Women are Urged to Prepare for this Wonderful Revolution in the
Economy of Their Life Blood Mrs Watson
Tells Hov7 She Was HepocL
llllllllllllllllfllllll
mini II mini iiiiiiiii ii
5ft A
ffi at C IP
ff rl r SPx
At no time is -woman more liable to
physical and mental dangers with hours
of suffering- than at the Turn of Life
The great want in womans system in
ability to properly adjustitself to the new
conditions The outlet monthly of blood
is now being- diminished and carried into
the body for the supply food of its later
years
Daughters you can now to some extent
repay your mothers early care She must
he spared every possible exertion You
must help her bear her burdens and anxie
ties This critical time safely over she will
return to renewed health and happiness
That so many women fail to ntirinn
il I J 1 - r
imscnangetnus iiappily is owing not
merely to lack of care hut to igno
rance There is however no excuse
for ignorance when experienced ad
vice can he yours free of all cost
Write to Mrs Pinkham at Lynn
Mass she has helped great numbers
of women successfully through the
Change of Life and she will help you
Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable Com
pound is the best tonic for uterine
changes It works harmoniously up
on all these overwrought organs in
vigorates the body and drives off the
lililPK
Eead this letter from Mrs Delul Watsos 524 West 5th St Cincinnati Ohio
- Dear Mrs Pinkuam I have been using Lydia E Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound for some time during the change of life and it has been a savior of
life unto me 1 can cheerfully recommend your medicine to all women and I
know it will give permanent relief I would beVlad to relate mv esnpripnpp
to any sufferer
Ask Mrs Pinkhams Advice A Woman Best UniJarstanrJs a Womans III
p
ENSIONS PATENTS CLAIMS
iStiSt MORRIS WASHWGTON D a
j ja ia last war 13 4jadieHa ttr
Something
entirely
new
FREIGHT PAID
SCALES
-- A
OUR BUDGET OP FUN
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Sayings
and Doings that Arc Odd Cnrious and
Laughable The WeeTis Humor
In the Matrimonial Harbor
Dixon Is that lighthouse job of yours
a government position
I Iixon Lighthouse job I dont know
what you mean
Dixon Arent you going to look after
a lighthouse somewhere
Hixon Certainly not What put that
idea into your head
Dixon Your wife told mine yester
day that you were going to try light
housekeeping next month
What We Seem to Be Coming To
w
t ubsr 1 1 i
Porter Klondike Junction change
here for the North Pole Ally Sloper
Hard to Tell
Biggs I can always tell a man that
has been employed as a hotel clerk
Diggs My experience has been veiw
much to the contrary
Biggs Indeed
Diggs Yes I can never tell them any
thing They think they know it all
He Must Be Satisfied
Man wants but little here below
Because hes too polite
To interfere when woman strives
For everything in sight
He Wasnt Perfect
Giles I just heard that Hawkins re
ferred o me as a perfect idiot
SmilesOh dont mind what Haw
kins says he always does exaggerate
more or less Im sure no one believes
you are perfect
Timey Information
How do you keep that big clock
wound asked the rural visitor as he
passed the government building with a
chance acquaintance
They have a winding stairway in the
tower Detroit Free Tress
As a Reminder
Albert time 1159 p m1 Really I
must be going now its getting late
Laura yawning Well you know
the old saying
Albert Whats that
Laura Better late than never
Got His Second Ficht
When we were married a year ago
said Mrs Oldby you were constantly
telling your friends that our marriage
was the result of love at first sight on
your part and now you are always find
ing fault with me
Yes it is true that it was a case of
lc ve at first sight when I met you re
plied Oldby with a sigh and Ill never
forgive myself for leaving my specta
cles at home that morning
Not an Iniisual Thing
Dixon I dont believe young Short
leigh is half as extravagant as people
say lif is
Hixon Perhaps not but Ivenoticed
that he has a suit of clothes for every
day in the- week
Dixon Is that so Why he always
had the same suit on every time I met
him
Hixon Well thats the one
Patriotism
Why the member from Wayback
was asked do you think the measure
would bring calamity upon tis
Because he replied it was not in
troduced by a member of the party to
which 1 belong
Inconsistent Wife
Wife You shouldnt be so wild my
dear
Hubby Pshaw Before we were
married you said that was the reason
you liked me Philadelphia Press
The Mother Sliipton Headgear
- i
Suggestion for a hat to go wkh the
latest coiffure Scraps
Her Gratitude
Youll never have another offer like
this he said as the maiden spurned
him
Thank you she replied I was
afraid you were going to say something
disagreeable
Headed Off
Here said the philanthropist Is a
dime Now let me give you a little ad
vice Never
Hold on interrupted Skmehy Simp
kins take back your mone3 My low
est price for listenin to sermons is 00
cents
A Discerning Maiden
Old Gottroclis What reason have
you for thinking this young man
doesnt want to marry you simply be
cause Im rich
Miss Gottrocks Because it was no
until after I told him all your property
was in mammas name that he propos
ed to me
Her Guilty Conscience
Mrs Mumley And so you have de
cided to withdraw from Dr BrJerlys
church
Mrs Weeds Yes he insulted me at
my husbands funeral
Mrs- Mumley Insulted you at youi
husbands funeral Oh surely you
must be mistaken
Mrs Weeds No He said my pool
Tames had gone to a happier place and
would surely not wish to return to this
word even if he could
Mother-in-Laws Turn
Is your daughters husband a man
of regular habits
Yes very He never gets home be
fore midnight and is always in th
same condition when he arrives
She Couldnt Help Sayiu It
He Do you ever experience fears u
the dark
She Not unless I am all alone
A moment later it struck him aud he
turned down the gas
Analogous
A barking dog will never bite
They tell us and by jinks
I guess by this same token that
A talking person never thinks
Of Course He Got Her
The Old Gentleman I would rather
see my daughter in hercoffi than mar
ried to you
The Young Fellow Oh come now
you cant mean that I know coffins
are cheap at present but she tells me
shell be satisfied with a very modest
wedding outfit and Im willing to pay
for the gas thats burned during the
ceremony
A Slight Mistake
1
Mr Flirt Ah
Theres a pretty
girl waving her handkerchief
Ill just follow this up
at nie
U JfliloSPi
2 But it was Bridget washing
windows
Proved an Alibi
Timkins I understand that Miss
Anteek brought suit for damages
against against young Softlei gh for
casting reflections upon her
Simkins So suie did but she lost her
case
Simkins She did eh What was
i Softleighs defense
Simkins Oh he proved to the satis
faction of the jury that he wasnt
bright enough to cast a reflection
Kasily Explained
Why is it that you never see a bald
headed barber
Thats simple enough Bald headed
men cant stay in the business because
one of the chief sources of the barber s
revenue is from the sale of hair tonic
Poetry of Motion
She Poetry seems to have deteriora
ted in late years dont you think so
He Oh I dont know I read quite
a moving little verse a day or two ago
She Indeed Where did you discov
er it
He In a street car It was aa ad
vertisement for something or other
No Use for Them
Stranger I understand there issonie
talk of doing away with the bridges
over the Chicago River
Native Yes it is thought the water
in the liver will soon be thick enoug
to walk over on
Hard Work
Do you succeed In picking up a liv
in said the robin to the toad
Oh yes replied the toad but it
keeps me on the jump Indiana Wom
an
New California Discovrrl
Califomians are stirring awuiit In
their mountains prowling into desert
ed canyons looking over places in
creeks unvisitcd for years and picking
into Sierra hillsides for new quartz
pockets The belief that the mother
lode of the California mines has been
discovered since the Klondike excite
ment set men looking is of curious in
terest There would be nothing
prising in a big find in the Sierra any-
day says the Boston Transcript There
are remote back country mountain
sides which have been well washed
down in these past forty years whence
new placers have been developed
Mauy old claims and placer streams in
California and British Columbia have
never been deserted by the Chinese
who in their unworldly wisdom are
content to wash out a few cents a day
and live in peace on a little rice
Mrs Whulow Hoothino Srnnp Tor Cliildreu
JWiliWE
fl1iagt1palapat
m Am
DIMS WHERE ALL ELbE FAILS
Best Cough Syrup Tastes Good
tn time Hold by druggists
KB b a a
Fabulous Wealth
The mineral wealth of newly found
mining regions largely run by syndicates
is in too many instances a fable The pro
ducts nearer home are surer and promise
more rewards No one will go unrewarded
in the matter of improved health who use
regularly Ilosfetters Stomach Bitters for
malaria and dyspepsia
Berlins Divorce Record
A statistical table giving the number
of divorces in Germany during the last
twelve years has revealed the fact that
Berlin of all the cities of Europe can
boast the greatest number of divorces
Even in America its record is only beat
en in Utah and a few Western States
In Berlin thirtj two divorces are grant
ed for every thousand marriages Afle
Berlin comes Hamburg with twenty
seven while Paris is far behind with
only twenti one
Shake Into Your Shoes
Allens Foot Ease a powder for the
feet It cures painful swollen smart
ing feet and instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions Its the great
est comfort discovery of the age Al
lens Foot Ease makes tight fitting or
new shoes feel easy It is a certain
cure for sweating callous and hot
tired nervous aching feet Try it to
day Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores Bv mail for 20c in stamps Trial
package FREE Address Allen S Olm
sted Le Roy N Y
Various Hays lor cnrisruias
The first and sixth days of January
the twenty ninth of September and the
twenty fifth of March have been cele
brated as Christmas Day it Avas not
until the middle of the fourth century
that the Church Council fixed the dato
is at present
100 Hewuril 100
The readers of tills paper will be pleased to
learu tliat there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all Us
stages and that is catarrh Halls Catarrh Cure
Is the only positive cure now known to the med
ical fraternity Catarrh being a constitutional
disease requires a constitutional treatment
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system thereby destroying the foundation
of the dlsoase and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and assisting
nature in doing its work The proprietors have
so much faith hi its curative powers that they
olter One Hundred Dollars for any case that it
Tails to cure Send for list of testimonials
Address F 7 CHENEY CO Toledo O
by Druggists 7e
Perhaps That Was the Reason
He I love5rou Miss Peach ardently
passionately madly
She Nonsense MrDe Sever you
are hardly acquainted with me
He I know but then why perhaps
thats the reason dont you know
Boston Transcript
Picos Cure for Consumption is the best
of all cougi cures George W Lotz Fa
baeher La Aug 20 lSDl
Hurrah or Iloeh
Whether Hoch or Hurra hi is
the proper ejaculation after a toast is
proposed Is a question that is disturb 1
ins Geruauy Prince Ludwig of Ba 1
varia at the Munich banquet in honor
of the Kaisers birthday avoided the
point by shouting Iloeh hurrah
TO ClKH A COM IN ONK DAI
Take Laxlllve Bromo gulniiin Tablets Alllirugiasts
lefuDtl the isouey if It falls W caret 2c
A Donblc Killinjr
Jack t trying to readj Say what ex
cuse have you for pounding the piano
that wa7
Tom Oh Im merely killin time
Jack Well I wish you would deaden
the soundwhile vou are about it
icetbinc orteus the icuras reances inflammation
nuayb pair cures wmu colic 5 cents a bottle
How the Brain Acts
Although the brain is perpetually act
ive the whole of it is never active at
one titte The two hemispheres or
halve do not operate simultaneously
but alternate in action now it is the
ne baf then the other
bnt hare sold direct to tbc i
scccr for years at ivholi
sale rriec s sarin him the
dealers protitj
iruere lor czazainaucn
irerrtains yrsrraatcd
3 18 itylcj of Vehicles
5 styles of Harncjs
Tod Bninries 11 io 7n
SorreTj ISO to J125 CirHa
res Phletocj Tran
eiitS SDncz Itaad and Milk
fcKJj
Mia tha Back
Then probably the kidney3
En tho GSassi
Then probably the lungs
In tSio Joints
Then probably rheumatism
own write for catalogue to
A J TOWER Boston Mass
zafESBSBSxsssssasaaast
We Jeliiht to do an early frisne
001 1
No matter where it is nor what
hind you need have it no longer
It may be an hour a day or a
year old it must yield to
2f
Immediately after applying ii yon
feci it3 Eoothinjj vanning strength
ening power
It quiets congestion drsvr3 oat
inflammation
It is a new plaster
A new combination of new
remedies Made after new
methods Entirely unlike any
other plaster
The Triumph of Modern Medical
Science
The Perfected Prodcct of years of
Patient Toil
Placed over tho chest it 13 a
powerful aid to Ayera Cherry Pec
toral in tin treatment of all throat
and lung affections
Placed over the stomach it stops
nausea and vomiting over the
bowels it controls cramps and colic
Placed over the small of the back
it removes all congestion from the
kidneys and greatly Etrentasaa
weakness
For sale by all Druggists
J C Ayer Co Lowell Mas3
StoraarwaJfcPafo
Mi
I suffered SJie tortures of tho damned
with protruding piles brought on by constipa
tion with which I was afflicted for twenty
years I ran across your CASCARETS In ths
town of Nawell Ia and never found anything
to equal them To day I am entirely free from
piles and feel like a new man
C HKeitz 1411 Jones St Sioux City la
Pjfcfcm CANDY
EM Z CATHARTIC j
Tml TRADE MARK R50I3TERCD
Pleasant Palatable 1otent Taste Good Do
Good Never Sicken Weaken or Gripe 10c 23c 50c
CURE CONSTIPATION
Stcrtlas Kerned Compaaj Chicago Hootreal New Tort 312
Mfl TfS D A p Sold and iniarantped by all drus
U 1 UBJlll Kists to CUE E Tobacco Habit
B NtJlVlr tS3 li 7pr IH V4 Efie53 2r3 fk
fcm5ji1L
WILL KEEP YOU DRY
K Dont be footeJ with a mackinios
or rubber coat If ou want a coat
that keep you dry in the harJ
est storm buy the Fish Brand
Slicker If not for sale in your
turn Ino working yiuti of
ANY AERMOTORl
EXCHANGED
FOR A ROLLER
BEARING tephyrron
nice tTer eoiEE everlitiuc
dooblmj UP-TO-DATE 98
MOTOR 8 FT FOR S62 lt for 2l6a
for 3J They run lifcr s bicycle and are made like a
natch every movable parton rollers DouLs c red
mill power 1 he Aenuotor ran wben all ether mill
stood still aud made the steel windmill bajinera
THE NEW BEATS THE OLD AS THE
OLD BEAT THE WOODEN WHEEL
On receipt amount reused motor Ibct not wheel
i or vane will In sent to replace old one then to to
returned veer tume t to cancellation at any lime
II yuar oid vraexl a not an Aermotor write for
terms or strap new for old to po on old tower
Vou can put il on lenaotor Co- Ctltajo
W SSK
i i
w jmmrsr
TpSTrtafiESSlMPrrv
f V2 a mSmSESmEfiyl a
tTTTWrViSIJrtCl
X S fM X X J J I Jf JSaf V
no HBirer Harness priepsnsao rjns ceaa lor larire rr -
ELK HART CABS ACE ASP UAIESS MFC CO W B PliATT Sec HtKHaiyr jrD
Do You Know that There Is Sci
ence in Neatness Be
Wise and Use
SAPOL
MENTION THIS PA PER man umaa to aorxamsau
S C N U -
18 98
1
y oubeX I
fta 1 S daTS I
Ar Uuraotted VJ
lhf oat to siruturp
l iPrnenta eentirioa
lilii
O
V Y3mCIIIWTI0Jl
v x v 3- y r
CURE YCHJRSELF
Ue Big G for unnatural
discharges inrianiuiittiona
irritations or ulcerations
ol mucous Hcaibranesr
imes ani not
ITHEtVAHS ChEUICAlCo Sent or poisonous
Sold by JTHe rrlta
or Bent in nfain n rn
yfxprlu Prepaid for
1100 or 3 bottles 273
CircaUr stat on request
J