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JtOBEKT GOOD Editor and Prop
VALENTINE
NEBRASKA
Oh Havana What an odor Connectl
t cut is raising in thy name
It seems to be a peculiarity of French
criminal trials that the conviction pre
cedes the prosecution
A Denver saloon keeper offers a print
ed Avar song with each drink The song
probably is enough to drive anyone to
drink
When the ocean is not big enough to
accommodate our new navy any longer
without crowding we will buy another
ocean thats all
That Hamburg astronomer who
claims to have discovered a second
moon nrust have used an unusually
large glass a schooner perhaps
Recent statistics prove that the con
sumption of whisky throughout the
West is steadily decreasing That
shows what became of the air ship
American bicycles have become so
popular in Germany that German man
ufacturers are hunting for methods to
keep Americans out of the market
We are constantly told that Spain
has great pride It is fortunate that
she has She doesnt seem to be over
stocked with anything else except it is
diabolism
The modern folding bed and the sen
sational newspaper correspondents are
both employed for lying purposes but
the similarity ends right there The bed
-shuts up occasionally
A poet in the London Spectator has
excited the derision of the English
speaking world by remarking I try to
remember the future Yet how many
people have suffered disaster by care
lessness in the matter of futures
An Eastern advertiser prints a picture
of a campaign rooster over an adver
tisement saying This is the hen that
laid the eggs that we sell 1G for 25
cents a dozen That advertiser should
be arrested for a fraudulent use of the
male
Special dispatches from Cadiz Ky
announce that 3Iiss Beatrice Gunning
ham of that place has recently publish
ed a novel the sale of which she is now
accelerating by giving a kiss with each
book She probable will do a fine male
order business
Oscar Wilde is undeniably a wit
t even though he may be wicked How
ftre English prisoners treated some
one asked him after his own release
Why he responded England treats
her prisoners so badly that she -does
not deserve to have any
There Is a bad state of affairs in
Cleveland Ohio The Plain Dealer re
ports a man as saying MMy cigar last
night cost me a dollar How so
queried his friend I smoked it at
home and my wife was sure the gas
was leaking and telephoned for a
plumber
A bachelor philosopher remarks that
no man ever wants to kiss a girl after
lie has once seen her hold a nickel tKe
conductor has given her for change be
tween her teeth while she gets her
purse open and he further intimates
that such a girl is only fit to kiss a pug
dog Of course bachelors are not al
ways responsible critics
A little girl in a New York school
screamed at the sight of a mouse The
children became panic stricken and
rushed screaming out of the room the
teachers ordered a fire drill a fire
alarm was rung in distracted parents
fought to enter the building and save
their children from the supposed
fiames And all for one small mouse
Rash is the man That dares to laugh at
the feminine fear of a mouse
A watchmaker who brought suit for
divorce a year ago has been arrested
it the instigation of his wife thirty
five times since then and has spent the
major portion of his time in jail await
ing trial on some frivolous charge or
other tramped up by the woman Tne
poor watchmaker is quite run down
and wants this sort of prosecution
wound up at once
One can easily see why Englishmen
wish success to plans for the libera
tion of Cuba Their losses through the
devastation of the island are only less
grievous than our own Scores of cot
ton and tobacco estates are owned or
mortgaged in England and almost all
-the money invested in the insular rail
ways came from London It is with
English capital that public works were
undertaken in a number of Cuban cities
between 1S78 and 1S94 No interest or
dividend will be forthcoming on any of
these securities until peace has been
restored in the island
It is somewhat remarkable when one
considers the matter that the line of
fleers of the navy have never asked
themselves what they would do some
day with ships to command and no en
gineers competent to manage the mo
tive power Thejvare men upon which
heav3 responsibility rests day ami
night in peace or war and there have
Jbeen many instances of mental and
physical breaking down There are
captains commanders and lieutenants
enough for the new ships but no en
gineers and competent engineers can
not be secured offhand
Not since the opening of the century
lias the earth been so far filled with
tern threat and prepara tiou for armed
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conflict and it is where the commercial
spirit runs highest that the talk of war
Is loudest The armaments of the great
commercial powers have never been so
large either relatively or absolutely as
to day but this is not enough and to
Englands special call for S120000000
for more war ships France echoes
100000000 Russia 70000000 Ger
many quite as much and the United
States anywhere from 50000000 up
n special regular army and navy bills
Ex United States Senator B K Bruce
is dead Next to Fred Douglass he
was the most conspicuous representa
tive of the colored race in America ne
served one term as Senator from Mis
sissippi Was bora a slave in Virginia
in 1S41 The tutor of his masters son
taught him to read After the war he
became a student at Oberlin and final
ly settled as a planter in Mississippi
He was county superintendent of edu
cation sheriff and held various State
offices before he was elected to the Uni
ted States Senate He was Register of
the Treasury under Garfield and was
reappointed by Mclvinley to that office
Nothing can be more grateful to the
American people than the complete
unanimity of the testimony borne by
all who have visited Havana to the
fidelity and efficiency displayed by Con
sul General Lee in the discharge of his
delicate and responsible duties Among
the last to offer his testimony on the
subject is Senator Gallinger of New
Hampshire who said in a speech in the
Senate General Lee is deserving of
the highest possible praise for the
manner in which he carries himself iu
Havana Cool and fearless in the midst
of difficulties and dangers he never
loses sight of the fact that he is an
American citizen nor is he unmindful
of the tremendous responsibilities anl
duties of his position
With the return of the cycling season
when century runs by organized clubs
are of daily occurrence the question of
permitting women to take part in these
long distance trips is again discussed
It is maintained that century runs have
become athletic competitions such as
require the utmost physical endurance
on the part of the riders and that con
stitutionally a woman is not sufficient
ly strong for such a fatiguing test Dis
tinguished medical authorities pro
nounce the task of covering so great a
distance as a hundred miles in a day
awheel exceedingly harmful on ac
count of the prolonged nervous and
physical strain involved for which
women rarely possess the requisite
plrysique and for other reasons that
physicians only can properly appre
ciate There are few organized runs of
a hundred miles in which some of the
participants do not fail to complete the
century This being true of men it is
by so much the more evident that wom
en should refrain from the practice
Aside from the injurious physical re
sults that attend century riding by
women the question presents another
view even more important that of the
propriety of women engaging in such
runs The example of women attend
ing the ordinary open century run in
which the proportion of the partici
pants is rarely less than fifty men to
one woman who rides generally with
out escort from earl morning to late
night in the common ruck is not cal
culated to elevate cycling particularly
among women Rather it has a ten
dency to degrade the sport The neces
sary or usual incidents attending cen
tury runs are not conducive to the cul
tivation of feminine graces and should
receive the stamp of disapproval by the
cycling public Resolutions condemn
ing the practice are being considered
by bicycle organizations If women
lack the good sense and good taste to
determine this matter for themselves
the men should determine it for them
A case has just been decided in En
gland that is of interest in this coun
try for the circumstances are very like
those that have frequently occurred in
the United States but which have not
reached the courts The case was based
upon the charge of manslaughter in a
game of football The game was be
ing played under the association foot
ball rules which were designed spe
cially to limit the hazard in playing the
game in question It was claimed that
the defendant contrary to the rules of
the game charged the deceased from
behind and threw rim violently for
ward against the knees of another
player from which he received injuries
that caused his death The judge held
that the rules of the game were of little
consequence for no association could
override the law in such a manner nor
could it make lawful and innocent that
which was dangerous The law of the
land declares that it is unlawful to do
that which is likely to cause the death
of another and liability cannot be
avoided by the enactment of rules re
ducing the danger and the prisoner
was held for manslaughter The judge
said But on the other hand if a
man is playing according to the rules
and practice of the game and is not
going beyond it it may be reasonable
to infer that he is not acting in a man
ner which he knows will be likely to
produce death In the heat of playing
the game men forget in the desire to
win to observe the rules that have been
adopted in order to reduce the risk to
a minimum and do things that result
fatally to their opponents Football has
become established as one of the most
popular of all our American sports but
however it may be hedged about with
rules it is a dangerous game a fact
that is too well attested to admit of dis
pute The English case was brought
to put a stop to the laAvlessness of the
game as it has been played at Rugby
and it is probable that it will be ample
to inspire some respect for the lives
and limbs of men engaged in the spirit
ed contests
A petty politician always wants to be
taken seriously
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SOUTHERN BLOODHOUNDS
Tliey Are tlie Descendants of the
Fierce Man Eating Cuban Dog
The first Cuban bloodhoundSjlanded
upon this continent were imported 200
years ago by Spanish planters ofLouis
iana then Spanish territory writes H
S Canfield in the Chicago Times-Herald
We all know what the dons were
THE HEAD OF A nLOODUOUXD
about 1700 Negroes were cheaper then
and if a slave gave trouble it did not
much matter that the bloodhounds
hold upon his throat was broken only
by the tearing of the flesh and tendons
Many times in those days the fugitive
negro did not live after his capture If
he succeeded in gaining a tree his
oliveskinned masters shot him out as
they would a squirrel If on the ground
when caught the dogs killed him
sometimes before the arrival of the
horsemen who had ridden hard to be in
at the death
The Cuban hound was a valuable
dog and he was well treated In some
of the old court records of Louisiana
are bills of sale of him in iustaiK es
the price ran as high as SS00 a pair
The breed spread all through the South
although I have never heard of the
dogs being used as man hunters in the
upper tier of Southern States 1 doubt
that one has ever been laid upon Ihe
trail of a negro in Virginia North Caro
lina or Maryland
As a matter of course the planters of
this century were careful to protect
their slaves as far as possible from at
tacks by the animals This was gen
erally easy The runaway slave inva
riably made for the swamp at the back
of the plantation It contained many
streams and lagoons which aided him
in throwing the dogs off the scent If
the worst came to the worst he could
always climb a tree I have no doubt
that the ancient anecdote of the coon
which remarked to the man with the
gun Dont shoot mister Im goirig to
come down had its origin in some
runaway hand perched in a cypress
and gazing down at his irate master
but preserving always the negros sen
of humor Indeed the story is loved
and venerated in every quarters
south of Mason and Dixons line and is
always good for a laugh The planters
care in this matter was dictated more
by policy than humanity It did not
pay to have a 1000 negro chewed up
by a 50 dog
The bloodhound is now used only in
the pursuit of criminals Every south
ern penitentiary has a brace or more
of them They are not infrequently n
part of the sheriffs outfit The breed
is not always pure but the dogs serve
their purpose Their keenness of scent
is one of the most remarkable things in
nature though it is of value principal
ly iathe more thinly settled region It
seems incredible that the mere tempor
ary pressure of a mans boot or shoe
upon the ground should leave a trace
able scent for twenty four hours pro
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viding that there has been no rain but
there is no doubt that it does Some
times in the South a murderer breaks
jail Until the universal introduction
of chilled steel cages this was not a
difficult matter Dogs are telegraphed
for at a distance probably of ISO miles
They arrive a day after the escape
They are led in leash to the point
where the criminal is supposed to have
made his exit and uncoupled They
take up the scent instantly and follow
it rapidly The man must have cross
ed much water or confused his trail
with the hurrying footsteps of dozens
of others to throw them off Always
supposing that twenty four hours Is
the extreme limit of law allowed the
fugitive the bloodhounds are the best
means of effecting his capture Having
far to travel they do not bay They
have no breath to waste
CriANCES OF MARRIAGE
A Diagram Which Shows the Kesult
of Statistical Research
This interesting diagram almost ex
plains itself It shows the chances of
marriage of spinsters and widows and
whom they are most likeljr to marry
It is claimed by statisticians that spin
sters from 15 to 4 i have best chance
Avith bachelors and after that should
direct their attention to widowers The
diagram shows the result of statistical
research and is authentic With
DIAbKAM
ows up to the age of 39 their best
chance is with bachelors and after that
the widowers should receive their de
votion
It Was a Strange Month
February 1SU0 was in one way the
most wonderful month in the worlds
history It had no full moon January
and March each had two full moons
but February had none Astronomers
say this is the only instance on record
Head Her Own Obituary
Mine Patti has had the uncanny ex
perience of reading her own obituary
notices the Australian papers having
made the mistalie of supposing that
she and not her husband died recently
Meaning of the Word Squirrel
The word squirrel is from two Greek
words which mean shadow tail
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TO THAW THE GROUND
Heres an Apparatus that Will Prove
a Boon to Klondike
To thaw frozen ground and facilitate
the working of shafts and tunnels
therein an apparatus to direct and re
tain the heat of a furnace npon the
face of an excavation while also
iiairis thaavixg APrAUATUS
dering access practicable to such face
is shown in the accompanying illus
tration and has been patented by Will
iam E Harris of Chicago The cone
shaped firebox of the furnace is form
ed by a coil of pipe covered by a layer
of clay inside the shell there being a
suitable outlet at the top for the escape
of the smoke and gases and through
which the upper end of the coil ex
tends to connect with a blower by
which air is forced through the pipe to
be heated by the burning fuel says
the Scientific American The lower
end of the coil is extended through a
box or conduit where it is surrounded
by sand or other non conducting ma
terial to the ground to be thawed
where it connects with a sleeve held
on a shield set against the ground at
the end of the tunnel The shield con
sists of a hollow frame with central
hollow door there being apertures in
the walls of the frame and door allow
ing the heated air to pass directly in
contact with the frozen ground against
which the shield is placed A jack
holds the shield in position as the
thawing proceeds the door being open
ed from time to time to remove the
ground and the shield being moved
forward accordingly the pipe connect
ing with the coil being lengthened as
the work progresses
Drinlc Man Needs
An average man requires fifty nine
ounces of food per diem He needs
ounces of water for drinking
and in breathing he absorbs thirty
ounces of oxygen He -eats as much
water as he drinks so much of that
fluid being contained in various foods
In order to supply fuel for running the
body machine and make up for waste
tissue he ought to swallow daily the
equivalent of twenty ounces of bread
three ounces of potatoes one ounce of
butter and one quart of water The
body is mostly water The body of a
man weighing 154 pounds contains
ninety six pounds or forty six quarts
of water
Just Sean
Mary Ann sat alone with her beau
For hours with the gas turned leau
When he said he must leave
She caught hold of his
While she wept and exclaimed Ean
neau
Chicago News
Every one feels that he would fare
better if he lived in a hovel where the
good are always rewarded
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THE SOUTHS MANY COLONELS
L Possible Explanation of Their Num
ber Suggested
For many years indeed since the
close of the war it has been a stand
ing joke among the paragraphers and
in variety theaters that the Confeder
ate army was composed almost wholly
of staff officers and that the number
of colonels distributed throughout the
South and in the States of the South
west was materially greater than the
number of male adult civilians It is
certainly a fact as all travelers attest
that there are more colonels majors
and generals in the Southern than in
the Northern States and this is a fact
despite what is a matter of general
knowledge too that the Southern army
was materially smaller throughout the
war than the Northern forces
An explanation of the apparent an
omaly has lately appeaved in a state
ment which shows in detail that the
number of Southern officers was rela
tively larger than the number of
Northern officers during the civil war
The official Confederate army list
shows one general-in-chief Kobert
E Lee ami seven full generals as
follows Cooper Albert Sidney John
ston Beauregard Joseph E Johnston
Smith Bragg and Hood The nuinber
oL lieutenant generals in the Confed
erate army Stonewall Jackson Hillr
Early Buckner Wade Hampton and
Gordon among them was nineteen
and there were besides SI major gen
erals and more than 200 brigadier-generals
This was very much larger than
the army roll in respect of staff officers
on the Union side at a corresponding
period Before the establishment of the
office of lieutenant general there were
4 major generals and 11 brigadier gen
erals in the regular army and 20 major
generals and 150 brigadier generals in
the volunteer service There were cor
respondingly a larger number of col
onels and majors in the Southern than
in the Northern army and the reason
for this was to be found in the fact
that the commands of the Southerners
were generally smaller and more wide
ly separated The Northern forces con
stituted the attacking army the South
ern forces after the battle of Gettys
burg were on the defensive and much
of the conflict which continued during
the closing years of the strife was so
far as the Southern men were engaged
in it of a desultory guerrilla character
The services of sharpshooters or sxnail
attacking columns of commands or
ganized for foraging purposes or to
cover a retreat were in detail and the
commander of each detail took by cour
tesy and under military usage a title
as high in its way as a Northern com
mander would receive if in charge of a
force perhaps eight or ten times larger
It is a well known fact that military
men having titles are as slow to
der them and to forego their use as
ouicenoiuers are to retire rrom the hon
ors and emoluments of public station
The rule once a colonel always a col
onel still prevails in the South and it
applies in like manner to generals ma
jors and captains as Avell A man who
may have acted for a few hours per
haps at the head of a detachment as its
colonel though actually a corporal has
since the close of th war continued to
be known as colonel
been rolled hundre ls of miles into the
country It is further related that the
natives have become v infatuated
with rum carried from various coun
tries to their coast that a ves el Avhich
proposes to have cariro landed must
carry it -- currency or no business cm
be done Gold is a depreciated currency
as against rum on the lonely coast The
wonderful 4000 nifle voyage of thi
brig to the gold coast with 170 hogs
heads of New England rum offers some
most interesting suggestions for mis
sionaries and temperaiK e reformers tc
ponder Boston Globe
Crow Shattered a Headlight
A peculiar accident hapiiened to the
engine on passenger train No 1 at Mc
Arthur Junction Chillicothe Ohio re
cently As the train was passing along
through the darkness the engineer and
fireman were startled by a crash in
front and then the headlight went out
-The j thought at first that a stone had
been thrown at it but an investigation
showed that a big crow had flown
straight into the liirhr shattering the
gla4 The light thea lined to explode
and Jinaly burned out The crow
which had broken its neck was fished
out in a badly singed condition and
was hanging up in the roundhouse in
the morning
Due to the Electric liht
Since the introduction ofthe electric
light singers actors and public speak
ers have less trouble with their voices
and are less likely to catch cold their
throats are not so parched and they
feel better This is due to the air not
being vitiated and the temperature
more even
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Sells Rum to the Heathen
The recent voyage of a certain brig
from Boston to the gold coast of Africa
as described for publication by her cap
tain is interesting reading It will
doubtless interest the U mpernnce and
missionary societies to know that the
brig left Boston Laden with 170 hogs
heads of rum for the little known gold
coast Aiyiongh she took some other
articles most of the profits of Che voy
age were to come from the rum Sc
utterly primeval is this isolated part
of the African coast that the cargo had
to be lauded through the surf from the
vessel Through somy remarkable
aboriginal instinct the natives scented
the cargo almost before the brig was v
in sight and as soon as she was at an
chor dived through the waves like hun
gry sharks
Among the interesting fact about
the African natives related by the cap
tain is that since there are no beasts of
burden and no conveyances on the gokJ
coast the barrels of rum are rolled in
land by hand so that liquor has thus
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