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310BERTG00D Editor and Prop
VALENTINE
NEBRASKA
The Boston Globe Is opposed to the
Cape Cod Canal and yet quite frequent
ly it lakes a dig ar it
At last Edson has met his match He
confesses that the reporters of New
York are greater inventors than he is
Is the new menhaden fish oil and fer
tilizing trust to be reckoned among
those rank injustices that smell to
heaven
America is beginning to supply the
world with locomotives That is some--thing
in which this country has the
Wrongest pull
Cigarettes do no harm to the
smoker says a Philadelphia paper
Well they do harm to others and that
ought to banish them
Lying vast inert the prey of the na
tions China brings to mind the Bible
words Wheresoever the carcass is
there will the eagles be gathered to
gether
Several New York society women
have organized the Order of the
Crown with membership Jimited to
the lineal descendants of kings and
queens And jacks
Science having demonstrated that
the stomach is superfluous dyspeptic
-gentlemen who contemplate a trip to
the Klondike region should be careful
to check all unnecessary baggage at
home
Women are literally stripped of their
furs on the Canadian border and ev
erything that suggests a fur seal is con
fiscated from a cloak to a cap Uncle
Sam will ere long have a big stock of
goods on hand
A Tennessee man reported that he
had seen a ghost with horns and green
eyes and the news wasnt twenty four
hours old before a Government revenue
officer was sneaking around in that lo
cality looking for a moonshine distil
lery
In a recent book on Hawaii the au
thor very thoughtfully remarks that
Mr and Mrs Dole like the father
and mother of their country are child
less Just at this moment we can re
call nothing that is sadder than child
less motherhood and fatherhood
Often enough the grand master of
the Free Masons of Peru who accord
ing to Grand Master Sutherland of
New York has committed Masonic sui
cide by issuing an edict discarding the
Bible as a basis for morality for the
Masons under his jurisdiction bears
the contradictory name of Christian
Dam
An exchange mentions as a matter of
news that the English have adopted a
new fad in the shape of perfumed but
ter but we fail to discover anything
new in it Perfumed butter can be
found at any grocery store and at most
boarding houses Some folks do not
like the perfume but that is all a mat
ter of taste or smell
The murderer of William Terriss
was adjudged insane by the English
jury but he will not be set free as Is
often done in this country in similar
instances He will be put in an asy
lum where insane people are supposed
to be sent The trial was completed in
one day How long would it have lin
gered in this country
It costs fifty cents in Mankato Kan
sas to sing hum or whistle a certain
popular song between the hours of six
In the morning and ten at night The
town council has so directed on the
ground that the song has become an in--tolerable
nuisance Perhaps the moral
1s that the persou with an ear for
music should adjust it at frequent in
tervals to new tunes
Books as well as nations have their
Statistical revelations One of the best
selling novels of last year The Chris
tian contains according to the Atlan
tic Monthly one suicide three murders
two deaths in bed one bloodhound four
seductions ballet girls gamblers music
halls and thieves dens The old style
of fiction wherein Macaulay counted
twenty seven fainting fits in a single
romance is humorous in comparison
with the modern realistic novel
It is only logical that the tramp who
etarts out simply to enjoy idleness
should gradually and almost insensibly
degenerate into theft and thence to
burglary The dividing line between
begging a living and stealing a living
nd also between petty theft and petty
burglary that always endangers the
tonifort of families and at limes their
lives is so narrow that the transition
from the tramp to the burglar Is hard
ly perceptible to himself and the only
way to halt the professional tramp is
to punish to the utmost the crimes his
calling logically leads him to commit
There was talk of a duel recently be
tween residents of a Southern city
Then It was announced that experts In
the code duello had decided that the
principals in the quarrel could not
light because one of them had killed a
map had been tried for murder and
liad barely escaped the gallows The
grounds for this objection were not
good The men would have met on
the field on even terms each with
murder in his heart The one who had
lulled a man and meant to kill an
other aud the one who had not killed
man but meant to kill one EhoPld
OTiSSSSS
i mi niiiinminmiinMK UMKHtoHaTiaMBBtaSiSifl
have been arrested and placed under
bonds to keep the peace In this year
of grace we are not living under the
code duello
In most matters of serious moment
Americans are no laggards As a rule
except in the punishment of murder
ers they are not sluggish or apathetic
Cut the methods in rnost of the courts
in this country in criminal proceed
ings are a reproach to American civili
zation whenever wretches of the Dur
rant type are allowed to live for years
after conviction Is not the lawyer
who seeks by every unscrupulous de
vice of trickery to prolong lives which
are justly forfeit to the State a con
scienceless rascal who ought to be in a
cell
A distinguished pastorate was ter
minated by the resignation of Rev Dr
John Hall of the Fifth Avenue Presby
terian Church of New York Thirty
years of Dr Halls almost half century
of preaching have been given to that
church The result has been a testi
monial to the fact that religious success
can be accomplished without sensation
alism Dr Hall has been conservative
for even the Presbyterian church in
his adhesion to what is commonly
termed orthodoxy But lie was also
orthodox in his warmth of heart and
in the sound sense of his methods and
the diligence of his labors As a re
sult the church of which he has been
the pastor has been often styled the
foremost Tresbyterian congregation in
America for its influence and benefi
cence Dr Hall shows his devotion to
the church by voluntarily suggesting
that the time has come when for his ad
vancing years should be substituted
youthful energy This may mean also
that the new voice will be for a new
time for each generation challenges
the theology of its predecessor though
it leaves unchallenged such personal
religion as that of Dr John Hall
Two young Americans connected
with the legation of the United States
at London have been granted release
from punishment for infraction of the
oidinances of the city on a plea of
diplomatic privilege The British
government with some hesitation ac
cepted the plea thereby placing the
United States under obligation to con
done the violation of ordinances that
any British attache may see fit to in
dulge in while in this country The
two young men were Spencer Eddy
secretary to John Hay the American
Ambassador and J E White son of
Secretary White of the embassy The
affair in which they were implicated
was a trifling one The penalty at the
highest would not have exceeded 10
The offense committed was riding bi
cycles on the sidewalk Americans in
London think the pffenders should
have paiid their fines and not brought
the country into the case by pleading
diplomatic privilege We do not ex
pect the attaches of American lega
tions to violate the laws of the coun
try they happen to live in and then
escape punishment by pleas of privi
lege of that sort
The year 1897 went on record as one
of the most disastrous in the recent
annals of British industry This fact
is due chiefly to the lockout of the en
gineers and the accompanying disturb
ances of other branches of industry
There were not as many strikes and
lockouts as in the preceding year but
the number of men concerned was far
greater and the net result upon trade
far more disastrous There were in all
about 850 disputes affecting more than
200000 workmen As nearly as can
now be reckoned some 10000000 days
labor was lost That means over 33000
years of individual idleness or a years
idleness of more than 33000 men As
the majority of these men are skilled
mechanics receiving from 5 to G shil
lings a day when at work the total loss
to them in wages was probably little
short of 12000000 To this we must
add at least 3000000 more paid out
by the Amalgamated Society of Engi
neers and other trades unions for sup
port of men on strike or locked out A
total loss to workingmen of 15000000
is therefore to be set down as one result
of the years disputes That would be
bad enough if it were all But it is not
The engineering troubles caused a con
siderable cutting down of railway
freight traffic The shipbuilding indus
try was almost paralyzed Shopkeep
ers and tradesmen of all kinds in the
affected districts found their businesses
greatly injured And as for foreign
trade the official reports tell the story
of its disaster In the one mouth of
November according to Board of Trade
reports shipments of machinery show
ed a falling off of more than 1000000
from the same month in tlie preceding
year At the same time there was a
great expansion of trade on the part of
Great Britains chief rival German
the increase in German exports of ma
chinery amounting in the first nine
months of the year to 2375000 The
simple explanation is that British man
ufacturers were unable to fill orders
and so the orders went to Germany
And It may be added as British trades
men have found that business once lost
to Germany is never regained The
most competent authorities estimate
the direct loss to British industry and
trade to workingmen and employers
together of the labor troubles of ISO
at not less than 75000000 That does
not include the future losses resulting
from the permanent diversion of trade
to Germany As an offset workingmen
are said to have gained some 750000
In increased wages No other gain fo
either capital or labor is recorded That
Is to say for every doUar gained a hun
dred dollars lias been lost
There is no sound in the world so pa
thetic as a woman going around the
house singing to try to convince her
husband that he hasnt hurt her feel
ings by what he just said
issjesgascsRfflcs
fitt
3krt
Sparks from the Wires
IJolivia fears a wariwith Peru and Ar
gentina
Kid McPartnnd and Lemon the col
red boxer will meet in Buffalo the lat
ter part of this month
Steamer Pennland which grounded on
Chester Lar while en route from Phila
delphia to Liverpool has been floated
At Leavenworth Kan Frof F Hawn
aged 90 years was found dead in bed
Hawu was one of the incorporators ol
Leavenworth
Thomas L Thompson ex United States
minister to Brazil committed suicide a
Santa Rosa Cal by cutting his throat
Despondency is supposed to have been th
cause
At Philadelphia Ta Eli Mansfield
Bruce of the piano and organ firm oi
Esty - Bruce died suddenly in his seventy-fourth
year
Edward Mack who died at Huron
Ohio and was buried in Sandusky wai
the oldest man in Ohio He was 109
Typographical Union No G of New
York has appropriated 2500 to cultivate
potatoes on vacant lots for the unem
ployed
A man nnmpd Francis Carroll describe
as an a vas remanded at London on
the charge of threatening to murder Misr
Florence St John the actress
A six story building at 42 and 44 North
3d street Philadelphia occupied by BIu
meuthal Bros wholesale clothiers wai
damaged 75000 by fire insured
s3aSETa g
X
Consideration of the Indian appropria
tion bill was resumed in the Senate on
Friday and after being amended to some
extent the measure was nassed The
most important amendment was that of
fered by Mr Pettigrew which if finally
enacted will restore the free homestead
law so far as it relates to Indian lands
ceded to the United States for which
lands the settlers have been obliged to pay
the purchase price paid to the Indians
The bill carries appropriations aggregat
ing nearly 8000000 The Senate ad
journed until Monday The House was
uot in session
The House during its entire session of
Saturday had under consideration the
hill making appropriations for fortifica
tions and coast defenses Little interest
seemed to be manifested in the proceed
ings less than one half of the members
being present during the session The bill
was passed It carries 4144912 against
SD517141 last year The Senate was not
in session
On Mondny the House passed the mili
tary academy bill with only one important
amendment The debate on the measure
was desultory and touched a variety of
political topics The bill carries 453540
being 20032 less than the amount car
ried by the current law The bill to limit
the period for the refunding of the cer
tificates of deposit ot 1879 to Dec 31
1S99 was passed In the Senate Mr
Chandler presented a memorial prepared
in 1874 by the late Admiral Worden who
as a lieutenant in the navy commanded
the Monitor in the historic fight in Hamp
ton Roads between that vessel and the
ironclad Morrimac Mr Chandler said
that Admiral Worden conceived the idea
that it would be proper for the Govern
ment of the United States to pay to the
officers and crew of the Monitor the sum
of 200 each in the nature of prize money
but after having prepared the memorial
concluded not to present it to Congress
lest his motives might be misconstrued
The Hawaiian question consumed most
of the day
In the Senate on Tuesday Mr Allen
offered as an amendment to the diplomatic
and consular appropriation bill a resolu
tion recognizing the belligerency of the
Cuban insurgents Mr Cannon offered a
resolution urging the President to notify
pain that if it did not recognize the in
dependence of the Cuban republic before
March 4 the United States would recog
nize the belligerency of the Cubans and
within ninety days thereafter would as
sert the independence of the Cuban
lie Mr Mason followed with a resolu
tion requesting the President to notifv
Spain that the Cuban war must cease at
once and to declare the intention of the
United States to restore and maintain
peace on the island The House enter
ed upon consideration of the Aldrich
Plowman contested election case from the
fourth Alabama district The majority
of the committee reported in favor ol
seating the Republican candidate on the
ground of conspiracy an allegation vigor
ously denied by Democrats Mr Plow
mans plurality on the face of the returns
was 2907 The majority revised the fig
uros so as to gjve Mr Aldrich a plurality
of 342 Messrs Taylor of Ohio and Mane
of Illinois spoke for the majority and
Messrs Fox of Mississippi and Settle of
Kentucky for the minority
In the House on Wednesday the
contested election case
from the Fourth Alabama Distrint wno
settled by the passage of a resolution de
claring Mr Aldrich Itep the contest
ant entitled to the seat The vote was
on party lines Cuban debate consumed
the whole day in the Senate Speeches
were made by Messrs Cannon Mason
and Hale
The House was in a very bad ternpei
Thursday and the whole session was coif
sinned in filibustering against two bilL
of minor importance one to issue a dupli
cate check and the other to make Rock
land Me a subport of entry Neither
got further than the engrossment and
tiiird reading Finally when it became
evident that no progress could be mad-
with the bills presented an adjournment
was taken until Monday During almost
the entire session of the Senate the InJhu
appropriation bill was under discussion
The reading of the bill was completed and
all of the committee amendments wen-
adopted Subsequently several amend
ments of a minor character were attached
to the measure Mr Allen of Nebraska
enlivened the proceedings a few minute
before adjournment by making an attack
upon Speaker Reed for preventing the en
actment as the Nebraska Senator declar
ed of meritorious legislation sent to th
House of Representatives by the Senate
He denounced the Speakers action in this
regard as a disgrace to Congress anJ
to the American people
1
J5fc
have a busy time-
Girls Who Sell Tickets on ihc Chicane
Elevated Street Railroads
The young women who sit behind the
brass railings and sell tickets at the
stations on the elevated railroads in
Chicago have mighty busy times and
their hours of labor are
ong Each enters her respective
e ai 7 oclock in the morning and
r i ins tlere practically locked up
t i oclo k at night Her meals are
I jght in to her from some conve
it restaurant and she eats as she
caa while performing her other duties
These afford ample scope for the full
display of her mental and physical abil
ities With one hand she waits on the
passengers making change keeping a
watchful eye for spurious money for
all of which she is responsible person
ally With her other hand she pulls a
cord which opens thegate of exit One
of her feet she uses to press a treadle
which rings up the fare of each passen
ger through the turnstile The other
foot is used to preserve a perpendicu
lar position on the high stool Besides
she must look as pleasant as if she
was having her picture taken If she
had another hand or two and a few ad-
Till- GIRL TICKET SETTER
ditional feet she thinks her employers
would discover some work for them to
perform also For all of this the fair
ticket seller gets a salary of 150 a
day
B2EFLKMMS
s y a tj v
2
The Lord isnt near so deaf as some
ministers seem to think
Women never really kiss each other
They both know it is only an imitation
No woman can be deeply interested in
politics and the fashions at the same
time
The average girl will never admit
that she likes to see a man in his shirt
sleeves
A girl never thinks much of a play
unless she got so excited she forgot to
eat her candy
A man can find a reason for anything
if you give him time to think A wom
an can anyway
Dont worry clubs were invented so
that the women could worry about
how not to worry
A bachelor gets lonesome because he
is alone a married man gets lonesome
because his wife is
There is only one thing sweeter to a
woman than an offer of marriage and
that is another one
The man a woman likes best is the
one who knows when to say nothing
and just pat her hand
SON OF KOSSUTH
A Prominent Figure in the Hungarian
Parliament Kiots
Franz Kossuth son of the immortal
Hungarian patriot was a prominent
figure in the recent riotous scenes in
the Hungarian Parliament Kossuth
FKAJfZ KOSSUTH
demanded that the ausieich agreement
of union between Austria and Hun
gary be not renewed and aroused the
wildest enthusiasm among those who
are eager to see Hungary absolutely in
dependent
Iiife of Work Horses
In London the omnibus horse is worn
out in five years the tram horse in
four the postoffice horse in six and
the brewers in from six to seven
while the vestry horses last eight
years
Life seems but a dreary ex pants to
the boy who has to wear his dads
made over trousers
Marriage sometimes uncovers the
truthfulness of the proverb Trouble
never come single
53ftwP j
Tte world of novel writing is to be
repiesented at the Klondike as John
Mackie the author of They that Sit
in Darkness is preparing for an ex
pedition to that region
Mark Twains new humorous storj
which he is now writing in Vienna Is
to go to the Ladles Home Journal
which magazine has also secured F
Marion Crawfords new story a tale of
the unreal with the strikingly uncanny
title of The Dead Smile
Sir Martin Conway will shortly issue
a book of travels being an account of
further explorations in Spitsbergen
Last year Sir Martin confined himself
almost entirely to the coast parts of
Spitzbergen this time he has been on
the high Inland portions -where there is
little but ice Between the two books
the island is exposed to the world
A note recently received by Hough
ton Mifflin Co the authorized pub
lishers of Longfellows -works from
Alice M Longfellow the poets daugh
ter throws this light upon the pronun
ciation of the name Hiawatha The
pronunciation used by father was
the accent on the first sylla
ble being slighter than on the wa the
a sounded like a in mar not war
as sometimes used I should be glad
to have this impressed on the public
In Mine Couvreur Tasma who
died at Brussels while still almost in
her earliest youth the London Times
loses a zealous and able correspondent
and Australia one of the best known
of her novelists The authoress of
Uncle Piper of Pipers Hill -was a
woman of no ordinary ability and from
time to time many bright and amusing
stories from her pen as well as the
serial novel The Penance of Portia
James appeared lime Couvreur
was probably the best living delineator
of life at the antipodes and the place
she has left vacant is n likely to be
soon filled Her husband M Auguste
Couvreur once a prominent Belgian
politician and economist died some
three years ago and his widow had
been in ill health for many months
past
Have Mouths of Goid
The expression He has a heart of
gold will soon be changed to He has
a mouth of gold if the opinions of a
London dentist are not exaggerated
He says
From a variety of causes teeth ap
pear to decay much earlier and much
more rapidly than they used to do In
consequence the study of denistry has
progressed by leaps and bounds until
now is really astonishing what can
be done in the way of arresting decay
and in surmountaing the affliction when
it has run its course
In one sense there are people whose
mouths are veritable gold mines
Speaking broadly the people of Lon
don carry no less than 40000 or 50
000 worth of gold about with them in
their mouths representing something
between two or three hundred weight
It comes in books each sheet being
hammered out to the thinness of tissue
paper The books cost about 1 each
but each book represents a tremendous
amount of dental work work which
might be estimated at about 20 The
demand for gold filling and stopping
is increasing year by year In spite of
other substances which have from time
to time been tried for economys sake
gold still stand supreme Aluminium
was at one time spoken of as a rival
which threatened to oust the more pre
cious metal from use but the demand
for gold has steadily increased and no
doubt will continue to do so The
amount annually spent by the people of
London on their teeth is very little less
than half a million sterling A mem
ber of the profession recently volun
teered his opinion that in two or three
years time the people of London would
be carrying in their mouths gold to the
value of SO000 Just think of that
Then bear in mind that such ran amount
of gold represents nearly half a million
sterling in dental work
Turkey Within a Turkey
A St Louis Mo commission mer
chant has brought to light a phenome
non which is attracting the attention of
scientists here While one of the em
ployes of the commission house was
dressing a turkey hen he was dumb
founded to find in its interior a live
well feathered young turkey as large
as a full grown pigeon It is perfect
in every way excepting the head which
was attached to the mother and is a
fatty growth The little turkey died
as soon as it was severed from its dead
mother It was preserved In alcohol
and is now in the collection of the
Missouri Medical College where it is
attracting the attention of the medical
fraternity
Effective
I wish you would get your wife to
throw her influence for me said the
lady who was running for office in the
Womans Club Tin sure it would have
some effect
Yes was the thoughtful reply I
know when shes ever thrown anything
for me its been effective
Prospects for the Boy
I guess the Griscombs must expect
that somebody is going to leave them
some money
Why
Theyve decided to let their son be
come an artist
When a man has tn t hmrn
V
THE LITTLE PICKANINNY
The Judge Knew How It Was andEc
1 cased Jake
There was an unusual scene In tho
Recorders court the other day A ne
gro man was before its bar on a charge
of drunkenness Judge Calhoun who
has a wonderful memory in such mat
ters recognized an old offender in the
darkey
Jake said he this is the third
time youve been here this year
The negro scratched his head and
shifted his hat from one hand to tha
other
Yasser dafs so it sh Is But dem
ar yuther times Is done gone by and
dish yere time well suh dish yerft
time is bran new
Well you were drunk each time
remarked the- Judge frowning
Yasser I sho wua I speck I had de
same ol wabble but de casion wua
bran new
Its always some excuse said the
judge but I want you to understand
that Im tired of seeing you here on a
charge of drunkeness
Well suh
No I dont want to hear your ex
cuses Its drunk drunk drunk until
even the stockade is tired of you
But jedge protested the negro
looking around uneasily and lowering
his voice de scuse what I got now
aint so mighty big but it look like
ter me dat Its a mighty good one
Well out with it
Hits des a baby Jedge
A what
Des a little baby suh
Well what has that got to do with
it asked the Judge his manner show
ing no little curiosity
Hits at my house suh Yesserl
hits dar right now an I bet you ef
taint sleep its a hollerin Uncertain
as his position was the negro chuckled
The Judge regarded the darkey with
a relenting eye playing with a slip
of paper on his desk
Well what of it His judicial in
dignation had disappeared
Well suh hit was dis away De
las time I Avent out er dish yer place
I say tor mjself I aint gwine tetch
no more dram lease I done foun out
dat taint mon a half hour frum de
mouf er de bottle ter de rock pile I
made up my min on dat an I helt it
dar twel las night Well suh when
I got home fum work dey wuz a nig
ger oman dar hustlin round Hello
here what kinder doins is dis I
aint no mon got de words outn my
mouf fo I hear sunpn blatin un de
kivvcr like a teeny nanny goat An
de nigger oman she up an low you
got a baby if you but knowd it
Well suh dey sorter tun down de
counterpm an dar ne wuz des ez
natchul ez you please He wunk at
me a time er two an den lie gun Jr
blate I start ter pick Mm up suh
bein ez he wuz de fust an de onliest
but dar ar nigger oman she des shove
me round an say I better go on bout
my business
Here the Judge took off his glasses
and rubbed them carefully leaned his
elbow on the code and rested his head
on his hand There was almost a smile
on his face as he asked
And what did you do then Jake
The negro scratched his head and
laughed sheepishly Well suh dar I
wuz a grown man wid a baby and
cant put his hans on it I had mighty
quare feelins I want to go in dar
an der I skeered her I knowd V
wanted ter do sumpin but I dunner
know what I feel so good I say Ill
des take one dram in commenbuuee er
de baby Well suh I tuck it an ef
you dont know de res de pleeccman
dar kin tell you
The Judge cleared his throat and1
tried to frown but the frown was a
failure
Jake he said you can go this
time Your excuso is not a good one
but I think I know how you felt I
have a boy at my house a fine one
I boun tis suh exclaimed Jake
The finest boy on my side of town
it is admitted by everybody I know
what your temptations were I resist
ed and you didnt Go and behave
yourself Call the next case At
lanta Constitution
Ice Sailing on Skates
Sailing on skates is very populabpfa
some localities The skater crosses
two sticks binds them and covers them
with canvas making the whole about
six feet by one or two in extent He
places this sail against his back and
runs his arms through the sticks so as
to hold it With a good wind he can
go twenty miles an hour over smooth
ice and he can tack and beat against
the wind just as in sailing a boat It
is very exciting but it requires some
daring to start in as the rapidity of
the skater is apt to terrify the man
who has never tried it In skating with
the wind ones eyes water but one can
see quite well enough to avoid holes
There would be little chance of being
saved if yoa did blow in However it
is an easy thing to blow across a three
foot hole la going at a high rate of
speed It Is very exciting sport and
very little practice is required though
it demands comparatively smooth ico
Jor good skating If an obstruction la
met your fall is pretty hard
Wintr
MerrythocEh the moon shines pale
And the wind tossed branches wail
Purest crystals float and fall
There they sparkle
Here they darkle
On the pine and lonely wall
Merry though the stream is still
Neath the cold and trackless hill
There the realms of Hesper glow
Twilight lingers
Shining fingers
Gild the sleeping fields of snow
-Woman s Home Companion
After a woman becomes a widow she
Degins to
ried
away he throws it where it will aanov f Saya great deal abouter
iCtastmuft 7Sfeme rnthfulness when she mo
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